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5 Ways to Fight Worry and Grow Stronger



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I can’t believe I’m writing about a pandemic in 2020. At the time of this writing, millions of people have been diagnosed with the coronavirus and hundreds of thousands of others have died of it. We’re all grateful for government officials, scientists, doctors, and nurses all around the globe working around the clock to save lives and bringing the world back on track.

Practical measures such as face-covering, social distancing, stay-at-home orders, hand sanitizing are to be respected. They can help us limit the spread of the virus, protect ourselves, and those around us. However, very few of us actually know how to cope with this mentally. Fear of the unknown is perhaps the most critical problem we need to cope with during moments like this.

Following are five ways you can build mental strength, banish worry, and actually come out of this pandemic stronger than before:

1. This too shall pass

Here is a little phrase to remember when you are overpowered by fear: This too shall pass! Uttering these words in moments of despair and hopelessness will bring you an immediate sense of hope and relief. The human mind tends to magnify problems and blow them out proportion in moments of distress. It’s important to remind yourself that everything is temporary, and so are our woes. Pep yourself up, you are too strong to let the weeds of fear poison the beautiful roses of the garden of your mind.

Psychologist Janice Kiecolt-Glaser, and immunologist Ronald Glaser, of the Ohio State University College of Medicine, found in their research that spanned from 1982 to 1992, that fear can weaken the immune system thereby making us more susceptible to getting sick. Stay firm, follow the health guidelines suggested by health authorities and remind yourself every day: this too shall pass!

2. Invest in what matters the most…yourself

Staying at home can be a catalyst for a myriad of disparaging thoughts, boredom, and procrastination. Instead of giving in to these negativities, take the time to rethink your priorities and invest in yourself. Things are already as bad as they are, it’s not wise to give them additional strength by mentally magnifying their effects.

What about that book you’ve always wanted to read? That diet plan you’ve been putting off? That new language you’ve wanted to learn? You may rationalize by saying that you will just wait for things to be better to start. The truth of the matter is, if you don’t start right now you are unlikely to start tomorrow. Things will get better and you will get back to your normal life and nothing gets done!

The point is, time is passing whether or not you decide to learn something. You might as well learn something and make the most of the time you have at your disposal. When it comes to time, you either use it or you lose it. Why not using it?

“There is no more profitable investment than investing in yourself. It is the best investment you can make; you can never go wrong with it. ― Roy T. Bennett

3. Help someone

One way to curb the negative impacts of the fear of uncertainty is to help someone. Deep down, we have the need to contribute and make someone else’s life better. Helping others has been associated with an increase in happiness, lower blood pressure, and even longevity.

Sociologists found that people who volunteered 5.8 hours a week described themselves as “very happy.” Researchers purport that people rate themselves “very happy” because it makes them physically and socially active. It may also be associated with an increase of dopamine, a neurochemical in the brain, responsible for making us feel good. You don’t have to be in government to help; donating to a local charity, reaching out to a friend on social media could help. These may be small but they can make a world of difference in someone else’s life.

4. Exercise

The negative pull of TV, our cozy bed, or other distractions at home can be detrimental to our productivity. Instead of giving in to these temptations, you can schedule your day as you would a normal working day. Plan your day and include time for exercise. A 12-minute workout session from Monday to Friday will go a long way in helping you stay fit and active.

Exercising will help boost your health, immune system, and above all your self-esteem. Why? Overcoming the negative pull of procrastination requires enormous discipline, determination, and willpower. Knowing that you’ve had the courage to start will increase your self-esteem which will, in turn, motivate you to continue. Well, you have nothing to lose and the world to gain, why not give it a try?

“I finally realized that being grateful to my body was key to giving more love to myself.” – Oprah Winfrey

5. Pray

Reading this subheading may get you the impression that I’m some sort of preacher, a maniac, or a combination thereof. I assure you, I’m not. I’m not preaching or trying to impose my religious beliefs onto you. No matter one’s religious creed, prayer can be a powerful tool in helping us navigate difficult times. Praying represents a manifestation of hope that we all need.

Hope that there is a better future ahead can represent an oasis of peace amidst the whirling sands of life. It’s for no reason that many psychiatrists turn to prayer because of its benefits in helping patients banish worry, anxiety, and fear. William James put it best: “a  new zest for life.” Let’s pray and spread the hope that the world so desperately needs right now.

We may not be able to change these circumstances but we are able to change the way we cope with them. Don’t let the simplicity of these techniques fool you, they are as effective as they are simple. I hope you find them as helpful as I and many of my coaching clients have found them.

My name is Bachir Bastien. Being the sparkle that will ignite the fire of possibilities in as many people as possible is how I define myself. I was born and raised in Haiti by my mother. My life has been a struggle since conception. I decided that I was going to use my stories to empower others. These experiences may have been lemons, but I can use them to make sweet lemonade. This is what I have decided to do. That became my life purpose. My first name Bachir means messenger of good news in Arabic; I have been doing just that for the past two years here in Taiwan through articles, workshops, seminars and speeches. I have seen students changing behaviors, increase in confidence, watched students conquer stage fright, etc. This in turn gives me the unwavering certitude that I can empower more people.

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling



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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.



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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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