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How to Overcome Harrowing Adversity and Successfully Rebuild Your Life

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Does the following sound familiar to you? You feel trapped in your life. You try so hard to keep it all together, but nothing seems to go your way, and no matter what you do, those dreadful events keep on coming. Because of this, you have no motivation left to get up in the morning. You isolate yourself and don’t want to see friends or family because you just don’t want to endure this life any longer. If this describes you, I know exactly how you feel!

As Abraham Hicks would say, “For good or bad – when it rains, it pours,” and for many years, my life was a never-ending tropical storm. I lost both of my parents within one year of each other and had no family left. A few years later, I lost my business and all financial assets during a nasty divorce. Two years later, my 10-year-old daughter disappeared. 

I immigrated to Canada in 2004 to start all over, and due to fraud, I found myself with no income, effectively homeless, and potentially $150,000 in debt. I literally drove myself insane looking for the “good” in all of this because like everyone says, it all happens for a reason and always for the better.

It was more than I could endure or so I thought. People often feel defenseless against adversity — they suffer in silence, live hopelessly, and lose the ability to control their own lives.

Adversity is one of the leading causes of homelessness, depression, drug addictions, and suicide; it ends someone’s life every day! I knew my life was spinning downwards fast. It was time for a change and probably my last chance to take action. It is always so much easier to tell others what to do, but the time had come when I had to accept the challenge and get back on track by practicing what I preached. 

I recreated a happy, successful, and fulfilling life for myself again —while knowing that whenever the next hit came, I could manage it. It was not easy since I was only accountable to myself, and yet I saved my life. I proved that it can be done and the strategies I’ve learned and passed on to others do work.

Here are four strategies that I used to overcome adversity and rebuild my life that can help you too:

1. Work with your feelings

Don’t take adversity personally and see yourself as the victim. You may think that life has conspired to hurt you, but the truth is that it’s never about you! You are not a failure. 

Everyone experiences adversity, and you’re part of the majority, which makes you a regular person. And when “it” happens, accept it and stop looking for the good in the bad; there is none. Searching and not finding it will just worsen how you feel, trust me…I have been there!

Remember, whatever happens is not the problem because your emotions are. If you are the person who makes a tiger out of a cat, then you will have to deal with that tiger. Feeling pain is a normal part of dealing with adversity, yet suffering is optional.

It is useless, unhealthy, and destructive in itself. Just feel the pain the moment it happens, and then allow it to pass. Most importantly, realize that you’re going through a tough time, not toward it.

“Never give up, and be confident in what you do. There may be tough times, but the difficulties which you face will make you more determined to achieve your objectives and to win against all the odds.” – Marta

2. Don’t isolate yourself

Realize that you’re not alone, so let friends and family help you. Sometimes people around you don’t know what is going on in your life and how they can support you. Don’t be shy, and ask for help.

Talk about your situation with people who care and hear their opinions; sometimes we just can’t see the obvious. Also, stay away from toxic people. Instead, add positivity in your life through optimistic people, events, and places. It’s important to understand that people are happy to help you. Don’t forget that!

3. Take action toward a better life

Now that you have your feelings under control, acknowledge your situation. What is really happening, and what is the worst case scenario? Write down what has happened to you and what you want to happen; put it on paper, and make a plan.

Acknowledge your strengths. Look back on things you have accomplished. Do you see all the fantastic stuff you are capable of? Thoroughly check your resources and what is available to help you reach the next step. Address your needs and take care of yourself. Do something good for you and your soul.

Now is the time to set goals and be the creator of your new life. Be prepared for the next attack, which will come without fail, and brave it with determination. Most importantly, realize that change for the better will come one step at a time. Just keep on walking, and keep your target in sight!

 “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” – Robert Frost

4. Maintain a can-do attitude 

Stop being a victim, and take control of your life. Remember, it is not the event that counts, it is how you deal with it.

There are two elements of utmost importance when fighting adversity:

  • The love for yourself – If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect that someone else does? Not loving yourself has its roots in the past, but whatever it was is gone and will not come back. Instead, every new day is a unique chance for you to create something beautiful in your life. 
  • Your attitude – Your thoughts will eventually create words. Your words will create deeds. Your deeds will soon become your habit. Your habit will eventually form your character. With the right character in place, you can face anything. And that is important because the next hardship will come.

Are you ready to take control and create a life you love? Aren’t you tired of regularly cleaning up the broken dishes of your life? Isn’t it exhausting to feel defenseless, hopeless, and afraid? Don’t give up control of your life by feeling sorry for yourself and risk depression, homelessness, drug addiction, and even suicide.

Start taking control of your life today. Set big goals, chase your dream, and rebuild your life to experience happiness again. Go out and create your own success story, so you can achieve anything you desire.  

Have you ever hit rock bottom and had to rebuild your life? How did it go? What did you do? Share your ideas and stories with us below!

Wilfried Lehmkuhler is passionate about helping people achieve their dreams; create financial Freedom and a Life they love by applying proven success strategies. Wilfried is a blogger, speaker, consultant, and accomplished author who has worked with professional athletes and businesses in Europe and North America. You can find him at FinancialFreedomAndALifeYouLove.com or @WLehmkuhler

Life

Here’s Why Productivity Hacks Don’t Work

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How many times have you eagerly tried out a new productivity hack or tool and not gotten the result you expected? There is wealth of information available to us giving us everything we need to know to increase our productivity, but most people live their life in chaos.  Why do still see so many people struggling to manage their time and simply not able to get the results they desire?  What is missing? (more…)

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Life

4 Lies You Keep Telling Yourself When You’re Afraid to Do Something

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When’s the last time you let fear get the better of you? Whether we want to admit it or not, fear keeps us from doing a lot of the things we know we really should do to achieve our goals. Fear is especially detrimental to entrepreneurs (read ‘wantrepreneurs’) that want to launch their first big project. (more…)

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Tips, Tools, and Techniques to Create Your Curiosity

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Curiosity is a great characteristic that people rarely sustain in their lifetimes. Some people struggle to sustain curiosity because of their internal and external challenges. They cannot encourage curiosity to come to the fore as they condition their mindsets with their learning, experience, and environment. However, there are very few individuals who sustain their curiosity levels throughout their lives to excel as extraordinary achievers.  (more…)

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5 Life Tips You Didn’t Know You Needed to Hear

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Life is a battleground, we need to keep fighting until our appointed time on earth comes. So, in this post, you will see the best of the best life tips you have never heard before. These tips are life-changing and can change you immediately. Let’s go!

1. Be independent 

Hundreds of millions of people make this mistake. We depend on people like us. “he will get it done for me, she will get it done for me”. You rely heavily on people and guess what, you are making a big mistake. 

There are a lot of people that have helped others and perhaps time changes for them, they become poor and rely on the people they have helped, guess what comes out at the end of this reliance? Disappointment, promises backed by failures, etc. 

Who are you depending on? Who is that person you can’t do without when getting things in your life done? If there is anyone, you are making a big mistake. And starting today, all you have to do is add a prefix – what if!

What if my friend stops helping me, what if I get disappointed by people I trust with my life, what if they neglect me and turn me down”.

A man or woman that depends on people like him is equal to a feeble pillar holding the four corners of a house. What happens when the feeble pillar falls? The man’s house falls down super-flat. Your trust should only be in Jesus. Man can fail us at any time but God is always faithful till his Kingdom comes. 

2. Love your neighbor as yourself 

The gravity of this word is enough to shatter the whole earth into pieces. 

Only if the whole world just kept this simple commandment Christ Jesus gave then, there will be no murders, poverty, greediness, anger, envy, betrayal, disappointment, etc. 

Why are there such things in the world? Because we hate ourselves. As long as you are fine all is well. You care about yourself only, selfish, you have and yet you cannot give. 

Those are the characteristics of over 90% of the 7.6 billion humans on earth. Why can’t you do to others what you would have them do to you? Why can’t you help that suffering neighbor who needs food? Then, a lot of people will say 

“Go away from here beggar, what did you do with your youth, I can’t give you a dime, beggar”. Why are we so cruel? This is the best tip you must dear to your heart. 

No matter what you have, no matter how little or in whatever way you can help. Help people, show them love, love them as you love yourself. Don’t forget this, today’s beggar, uneducated, debtor, poor person, etc can later become the greatest person in the world tomorrow. 

“Don’t settle for what life gives you; make life better and build something.” — Ashton Kutcher

3. Have a growth mindset

A growth mindset is what makes one successful and go far in life. However, a fixed and stagnated mindset throws one into jeopardy of life.

A lot of people have a fixed mindset, what they believe is what they believe, nothing you say on earth can change their mindset, they are the most educated in the world so they don’t need to learn any further. Did you have a fixed or growth mindset?

A growth mindset leads to success, achievements, happiness, learning more, and becoming better. On the other hand, a fixed mindset leads to complacency, pride, lack of achievement, ignorance, the stagnancy of the mind, etc. 

Let’s see an example of someone with a fixed mindset:

Cait tells Alice: Alice stop being so proud it’s annoying. 

And Alice responds:

“How dare you say I am proud, I am not. I am the most humble woman on earth”. In the example, Alice with a fixed mindset has a fixed mindset. However, what she does not know is that she is in the darkness of her ignorance. She is ignorant of the fact that she is a proud person thus, she can’t see it. 

People with a fixed mindset are ignorant. You must never have a fixed mindset. Always be willing to learn and to grow with humility. Pride can take you nowhere. 

4. Forgive everyone and give as many second chances as you can  

A lot of people have done all they could to be happy and have peace. But, they find out that happiness is not just there and that peace of mind is absent. 

Why is that? It is because you have a lot of grudge against people that have offended you. Yes, we know, it pained you to your heart, and what next? Keep malice? But, do you know what that unforgiveness does to you?

I call it the seed of unforgiveness because it plants a seed in your heart and this seed further grows to become hatred, depression, lack of freedom, zero peace, etc. 

If in only one person’s heart are all these things, then a person like that can never know peace and happiness. For example, if you were to go to a party with your friends and you hear that perhaps the other friend that you keep malice with is coming to the same party. 

Naturally, the only thing you would think of is not going to the party anymore because you want to avoid the person at all costs. And what does that add to you? It doesn’t add instead, it subtracts from your life because you could have gone to the party, had fun, and even have new friends or even new opportunities.

If not for anything will you forgive people, forgive them for the sake of God, for the sake of Christ Jesus. Because if you cannot forget the trespass of people, don’t expect God to forgive you. Forgive everyone, give them as many second chances as possible. 

Mind you, they can still mess up and make terrible mistakes all you have to do is keep forgiving them. This may not be so easy to the flesh. However, it is only The Spirit of God that can make you forgive the trespass of people. Without The Holy Spirit, it is impossible to do so. 

5. Love God

Do you love God? Are you a child of God? Do you believe in Christ Jesus? Even if the rest of the tips on these lists do not resonate with you, I want you to hold this very important to your heart which is to Love God with all your heart, soul, and strength.

And you can do that only by being a child of God. This life is too short. It is like a vapor, it is nothing. Life is more like an empty barrel that makes noise. You will grow old, your strength will leave you and you will die but, what happens after that? Where are you going to spend the rest of your eternity? 

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