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6 Ways to Figure Out What You Want to Be When You Grow Up



success for kids

So you don’t know what you want to be when you grow up, huh? Join the club. Most people I know just ‘fell into’ their current role. They followed their nose until they got to where they are. They’re not overly happy in their job, but it doesn’t suck.

And that’s a big part of the problem. They’re busy and they’re comfortable so they don’t make a move. Their job is not causing enough pain to motivate them to change. On top of that, they don’t know what they really want. Sound familiar?

If you’ve always wondered what you want to be when you grow up, here are 6 strategies to help you work it out:

1. Confront yourself

Ask yourself, “What am I willing to sell my soul for?” because we do it every day, in so many ways. We sell our soul when we settle for a comfortable job that sucks the life out of us, little by little.

We sell our soul when we follow the career path that friends and family expect us to follow. We sell our soul when we go for the promotion that will mean long hours and a corner office.

Start making conscious decisions about what you’re willing to live with, and what you won’t compromise on.


2. Learn what you love

Have you ever said, “Wow! I’d love to do that!” when someone tells you what they do for a living? Maybe they’ve said they’re an entrepreneur, or a photographer or scientist. It doesn’t matter what they’ve said, the point is that you’ve heard it and been amazed.

You’ve also been a little in awe. It’s like they’ve reached for the moon and grabbed hold of it. This is a really strong clue that you shouldn’t ignore. It’s an indication of the sort of role you’d love.

“If you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.” – Marc Anthony

3. Ignore your relations

Don’t make the mistake of asking your friends and family what you should do. Why? Because they love you and want the best for you. So they give you advice that will protect you and keep you safe.

Truth be told, they probably haven’t figured out their own dream career so they’re not equipped to give advice. Besides, do you really want to do what you’re told?


4. Get a guide

Independent advice, from someone who has no preconceived idea about what you ‘should’ do, can be invaluable. Try finding a good career coach.

A career coach should both support and challenge you. They should also help you acquire skills and strategies that you can use for the rest of your life – any time you change jobs. Even if they don’t help you discover your dream role, they should be a worthwhile investment.


5. Find your superpowers

Everyone has superpowers, although they don’t always realise it. Your superpowers are the things you do better than anyone else. If you’re not sure of your strengths, try taking a reliable quiz. This gives you an idea where your superpowers lie.

Princeton Review has a free career quiz that assesses your personal Interests and usual style. This sort of tool can help you to discover yourself. It may not be conclusive but it can give a strong indication of what’s likely to bring you satisfaction and happiness.

“Success is achieved by developing our strengths, not by eliminating our weaknesses.” – Marilyn vos Savant

6. Scare yourself

The biggest hurdle to your career change is fear. Deep down, you’re scared. It’s ok. We all are. We’re all afraid of change and afraid of the unknown – at least a little bit. The trick is not to let it stop you.

The only difference between you and people who achieve their dreams is your ability to overcome your fear. As Seth Godin said, “If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try.” So embrace your anxiety. Get familiar with a little unease and apprehension.

Challenge yourself. Who knows? You might just find there’s a braver, bolder version of yourself inside. And that they’re desperate to help you live your dreams.

What has helped you figure out what you wanted to do with your life? Leave your thoughts below!

Sam is a training and career change professional. He is passionate about ensuring Kool Kids Training College students are industry-ready when they graduate. Sam has experience in public and private sector organisations across Australia and has been the Commercial Director with Kool Kids Training College since 2014.

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling



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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.



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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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