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5 Ways to Overcome The Fear of Being Judged

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In a recent Q&A to a group of amazing individuals, one of the questions I was asked was around the fear of being judged. It made me reflect and think back to my teens when I used to fear being judged by others. That was until I realized that no matter what I did, what I said or how I looked, I’d always be judged by someone.

You see, if I allowed the narrow-minded opinions and self-hating ways of others to define and shape who I am, I wouldn’t be where I am and who I am today. When we fear being judged by others, we lose a part of who we are during the process. That’s how carbon copies are created and people become a shadow of their true self.

That’s no way to live right? The narrow-minded opinions of others should never prevent us from honouring who we are, and showing up in the world as our true self. Now I understand this may sound easier said than done, but there is always a solution and a way to breakthrough regardless of how things may seem.

Here are five ways to overcome the fear of being judged by others:

1. There will only ever be one you

Requiring validation and the acceptance of others will never serve us. Accept and love yourself for who you are, both inside and out. We are all unique beings with beautiful flaws. It’s those flaws that make us stand out from the crowd and draw people towards us. Think about all the things that make you unique and use them to your advantage. Who wants to conform to what’s considered the ‘norm’ anyway?

“Embrace your uniqueness. Time is much too short to be living someone else’s life.” – Kobi Yamada

2. You are here because you have a purpose

Every single one of us has gifts, talents, skills and experiences that are meant to be shared. Long to write an article, create a video, an audio or stand on stage in front of a live audience? Don’t let the fear of judgement stop you. There is someone out there that needs you. There is someone waiting for you to shine your light in their direction so they can overcome what they are going through. They don’t want to hear from anyone else, but you. How long are you going to hold in your greatness?

 

3. What people think of you is none of your business

What and how you feel about yourself is what actually matters. What other people think is none of your business. If you make it your business, you’ll end up carrying around the opinions of others on your back that will end up weighing you down. What happens when something becomes too heavy? The weight becomes too much to bare and to take further steps forward it has to be released. Free yourself.

 

4. Focus on what you can control

Don’t allow yourself to be distracted by things you’ll never be able to control. External influences which is everything that is not derived from within will always be there, but the role and impact that they play within our lives is a choice. Have you ever heard the saying “like water off a ducks back?” That’s exactly how to treat the things you can’t control. Let go of them and allow them to roll off.

“You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength.” – Marcus Aurelius

5. Free yourself from limitations

We have a responsibility and owe it to ourselves to be bold, fearless and free from things and people that can limit our abilities, hold us back and suffocate our greatness if we allow them to. Allow your voice to be heard and your inner light to radiate because whilst we cannot control the external influences, we always have the power within to control our internal influences.

What way out of the five served you the most? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below!

Danielle McDonald is the clarity architect. Danielle is dedicated to helping individuals gain absolute clarity, develop the right mindset and take action for results. You can download her FREE action guide to help you renew your mind for growth and success here. You can also check out Danielle’s website where you can watch videos and listen to her podcast show.

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
Image Credit: Midjourney

Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
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“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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