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9 Ways To Encourage Yourself When Life Comes Crashing Down



There are those life-changing moments that each of us face in our lives, which makes us question our existence. Circumstances out of our control that overwhelm us and feel hopeless about the future.

For me, it was a divorce, losing a house and leaving a career that I had worked hard to achieve. For you, it may be a breakup, loss or other painful life event. You never saw it coming and now that it has wrecked your life, you have no idea what’s next.

Here are 9 reminders to help encourage you when your life comes crashing down:   

1. It can’t get any worse

If everything is falling apart and you’re experiencing the most profound pain you’ve experienced, know that it can’t get any worse. You’ve likely hit rock bottom; there’s no further down to go. And when you are down in life, the only place you can go is up. Breathe a sigh of relief at life’s worst point; it can only get better from here.

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” – Confucius

2. You’ve come back from this before

Maybe not this painful or devastating, but you’ve come through this in your life before. When your back was against the wall and you didn’t feel like you had a future, you stepped up to the occasion and succeeded. You have the experience, tools and habit of resiliency to turn your life back around.


3There is a lesson waiting for you here

There is a lesson, insight or growth waiting for you as you pull through. Your job is to find the meaning and the purpose of this pain. You may have a story to tell. This life circumstance may give you a message to share. This circumstance is your teacher, test and grade. Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” ask, “What can this teach me?” Ace the lesson that life’s teaching.


4. Everything is temporary

Yes, everything.  All circumstances, all pain and all hardship are temporary. Everything comes into your life and everything goes away. The challenges you are facing today will eventually disappear. The pain will lessen and tears will dry up. Your only job is to preserve each day until you get to a better day.


5. Success comes after failure

The good news is that failure is the breeding ground for success. Only when you find out what doesn’t work can you find out what does. After failing in a business, relationship or life goal, you would gain the experience and knowledge to do it better the next time around. The more you fail and the quicker you fail at life, the more experienced you become at navigating hardships and winning your life.


6. It gets better tomorrow

No matter how bad things are today, the sun will rise again tomorrow.  You can welcome in new circumstances, new perspectives and a new day. Each day will bring new promises and hope, so hang on. Do the work you need to get through each day and also know brighter days are on the horizon.


7This is your wake-up call

You may have been afraid to make changes or take a risk. This situation could be the unwanted but necessary wake-up call you needed in life. What do you need to know? What changes need to be made? What growth awaits you? What were you ignoring or not accepting in your life? How will you change now that it’s become more apparent and you’re more aware?

“Sometimes it takes a wake-up call, doesn’t it, to alert us to the fact that we’re hurrying through our lives instead of actually living them; that we’re living the fast life instead of the good life. And I think, for many people, that wake-up call takes the form of an illness.” – Carl Honore

8. This is your reset button

Ever wanted to start over but didn’t know how? Maybe you were in a unfulfilling relationship or in a career you hated. You always were wondering how to get out of it but had no options. Now that life has made the decisions for you, your job is to embrace the changes and make plans to start over. The best place to start anew and figure out a new life plan is when your life has fallen apart. This is your chance to start over from a blank slate.


9. There are rays of hope in the darkness

With every negative situation and dark life circumstance, there is a ray of hope in the distance.  Instead of worry and fear, focus on what you can be grateful for today. What can you be thankful for today? What is the positive in the situation? How can this break in your favor?

How can life or the circumstances turn out better than what you can possibly imagine? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Vishnu Virtues is the writer behind the popular personal growth and spirituality blog for people starting over in life. You can find his weekly blog posts at and his Amazon books on love and relationships here.



  1. Vikash Sharma

    Apr 20, 2016 at 8:28 am

    Hi Vishnu,

    First of all, Thank you very much for writing this wonderful article and Thanks to addicted2success to publish this.
    I am completely agree with your all points. Life is full of challenges But we should not feel hopeless. we should keep our self motivated with different ways to make our future better.
    This article is really amazing.

    • Vishnu

      May 2, 2016 at 1:41 pm

      I am grateful to Addicted 2 Success for publishing this too Vikash. Thank you for reading and glad the post resonated with you.

  2. Bertie

    Apr 15, 2016 at 3:51 pm

    A big ‘thanks’ for your post, Vishnu. It came in a moment when I was almost thinking to pull the plug… After some initial success with my consulting business, I found that an important customer was refusing to pay for the services they’d ordered and into which I had put hundreds of hours and enthusiasm. Their business priorities had changed, and that project was no longer important for them. Moreover, the customer had made sure that there was no way for me to legally claim the due amount.
    Is this kind of events that makes one want to throw in the towel and instead of being happy when a prospective customer comes to your door, you cannot avoid thinking about being swindled again… But in fact, all the points you mention are being fulfilled one by one. Now there are more projects in the horizon, and somehow I’ve instintively learned to turn down ‘toxic’ customers, so it’s time to recover and going for a fresh start!

    • Vishnu

      May 2, 2016 at 1:44 pm

      Awesome story and experience Bertie. Thanks for sharing how a shift in mindset can change it all. Sometimes our challenges have important insights and lessons that we need to learn. An obstacle becomes our teacher and ultimately the solution to the problem, like it did in your case : )

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6 Reasons Why You Should Never Glorify Failure After You’ve Failed




Many people are ashamed of failure. If they so much as smell a whiff of failure, they quit instantly because the public notices it quickly. But you shouldn’t be ashamed of failure. A lot of people have failed. I’ve failed over and over again in my career, business, relationships and more. Yet, I keep trying because failure isn’t the final verdict. (more…)

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How to Move Forward When All Seems Lost



how to move forward
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A few weeks ago, the relationship of my venture with a long-term client turned rocky. Losing them would mean a huge loss for my business, but it appeared like that’s where we were headed. My mind raced with unpleasant thoughts. Maybe the client had figured out that I couldn’t lead my team well. Maybe I was not good enough to be an entrepreneur. Maybe I was not good enough to do anything.

Why was the world so unfair?! Within moments, my anxiety had shot through the roof and my heart was racing faster than an F1 car engine. But I know I’m not the only one who feels like this.

Why Problems Overwhelm Us

As human beings, we’re good at solving problems, so they shouldn’t stress us out. Yet, they do just that. Why?

Consider some of these situations in life. When a relationship is headed for troubled waters, we wonder whether our partner loves us anymore. Our mind unearths memories of when we got dumped or rejected. We blame ourselves for falling for the wrong people and tell ourselves that we’re not worth receiving love.

How do you think the relationship will steer after that? If we cannot stick to a diet, we think of other times when we gave up. We remember what people said about things that we couldn’t do and ask ourselves, “were they right?” We tell ourselves that we don’t have what it takes to succeed at anything.

Do you think we’ll find the grit to stick to the diet after this? So here we are… thinking we’re not good enough to be entrepreneurs, to be loved, to get promoted, or to achieve our personal goals. Notice a pattern yet? We move in the wrong direction. The destination is to achieve the goal. And unless we stop giving into emotions and start addressing situations, we’ll keep failing to get there.

Negative emotions (and even extremely positive ones) blur our vision. The more we focus on them, the deeper we go into how we feel. We either get angry because things aren’t the way we want them to be, or get paralyzed by the fear of the worst possible outcome. This means we pull away from the one thing we must do to set things right — take action.

“If you can’t sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It’s the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep.” – Dale Carnegie

How to Take Action in the Face of Problems

Most human beings are good at solving problems. Where we get blindsided is at diagnosing the right problem. To diagnose the right problem, we must address the situation instead of emotions. We must see things for what they are, collect facts on what we’re worrying about, and then ask ourselves, “What should I do next?”

In his book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”, Dale Carnegie wrote: “Neither you nor I nor Einstein nor the Supreme Court of the United States is brilliant enough to reach an intelligent decision on any problem without first getting the facts.”

To address the tricky situation with my client, I took the following three steps:

1. First, I acknowledged the feeling

Solving a problem doesn’t mean ignoring emotions. It’s important to acknowledge how you feel because it reveals the path, but domesticating your emotions is more important. I acknowledged how I felt by saying, “I feel anxious because the client might not want to work with us anymore and this will be a financial loss for us.”

Note how I said “I feel anxious” and not “I’m a loser.” If I had given into negative chatter, I wouldn’t have uncovered the direction to move in (the part after “because”). This is why domesticating emotions is crucial.

2. Next, I prepared for the worst

We often run from our worst fears rather than facing them despite knowing that the worst outcome rarely comes true. The result is that we stay stuck in fear instead of pushing beyond it. And we never discover what we’re really capable of, which sucks.

In my case, the worst meant losing the client. It would hurt but it was the truth. However, we could get more clients. Plus we already had other clients who helped us pay the bills. In other words, I wouldn’t have to live on the street.

The moment I accepted this, a huge weight got lifted off my chest. This prepared me for the third and final step.

“Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.” – Zig Ziglar

3. Lastly, I examined the situation

Examining a situation means setting aside your emotional baggage and focusing on facts. When you trust that you’ll be okay, you become better at diagnosing the real problem. Once I felt lighter, I could see things clearly.

I used the 5 Whys Technique (asking “why” five times) to figure out the real reason for the client’s dissatisfaction. Then I collected data on the issue and on what we had previously delivered.

Finally, I reached out to the CEO of the client and held a detailed and constructive discussion based on my findings. Within four days, the CEO and I were back to the way things were before.

The best way to prepare for tomorrow is to give today your best. I’m not sure whether the issue with the client got resolved for good or whether the client won’t pack up and leave one day. However, I am sure that I’m prepared to handle such cases better today than I was yesterday.

Control your emotions instead of letting them run amok. Accept things for what they are instead of what you want them to be. Be realistic instead of delusional. Address the situation instead of succumbing to emotions.

Don’t preempt what lies ten miles ahead and get paralyzed by fear. Address what lies clearly in front of you and keep moving. One day you’ll be surprised about how close to your destination you are.

How do you move forward when all hope seems to be lost? Share your advice below!

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8 Effective Tips to Improve Your Emotional Wellbeing



how to improve your emotional wellbeing
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You know what they say, “Health Is Wealth”. But, more often than not, we only mean it in the context of physical health. There’s no question that being fit is the world’s greatest treasure. Unfortunately, not a lot of us take time out to look after our emotional health and wellbeing.

Let’s not forget – it’s ‘Mind Over Matter’. So, if you are able to take control of your emotions, thoughts, how you feel through the day and how you respond to myriad situations; there’s nothing quite like it. When you become the master of your emotions; health, prosperity, and basically all good things are bound to follow you.

With that said, here are 8 surefire ways that will improve your emotional wellbeing:

1. Practice Mindfulness

Half the time, we don’t even know what we’re thinking or how we’re feeling. That’s because we let our minds operate on autopilot. It’s time to take control of your mind. Be aware of what and how you feel throughout the day. The upside to this practice is that you can detect negative emotions right on the onset and quickly change them and their corresponding feeling.

Feelings of anger, jealousy, hatred; they are not good for the mind, soul, or the body. Paying close attention to the spectrum of emotions you experience throughout the day, will help you detect the negative ones and kick them away before they fester deep enough to take away your happiness and emotional health.

2. Stay Physically Active

As you engage in physical activities, your brain produces a whole bunch of feel-good hormones such as endorphins and dopamine. These hormones are what causes the ‘elated’ or ‘euphoric’ feeling. Being physically active uplifts your mood and your outlook towards life. It readies you to take the challenges more head-on instead of becoming overwhelmed by the littlest of inconvenience.

You are better able to analyze tough situations and take a more proactive rather than a reactive approach. It’s no question physical health is in direct proportion with emotional health. A healthy mind resides in a healthy body and vice versa.

“Caring for the mind is as important and crucial as caring for the body. In fact, one cannot be healthy without the other.” – Sid Garza-Hillman

3. Get Sufficient Sleep

Ever noticed how you feel depressed and cranky, and just out of focus the day you fail to get a good night’s sleep? Well, if you fail to get sufficient sleep for a couple of days, you are bound to feel more depressed, cranky and eventually more prone to a host of negative emotions. Research shows that sleep deprivation sends amygdala – our brain’s emotional response center into overdrive.

Amygdala controls our immediate emotional responses. When it becomes overactive, we become more reactive rather than active. We become more irritable, angry and anxious. A good night’s sleep is vital to improving your emotional wellbeing.

4. Develop a New Hobby

Learn to swim. Try arts and crafts. How about painting? Swimming is a ‘happy’ activity. You get to make new friends and stay fit. Arts and crafts, as we all know, tends to have a relaxing effect on the mind and the nerves.

Just the process of creating something from scratch makes you confident and gets those creative juices flowing. Similarly, painting helps you express yourself. All these factors together create a ‘happy you’. The one who likes to engage in new things instead of resisting change or difficult situations.

5. Eat Healthy

Ever heard of the phrase, “You are what you eat”? Well, it’s true to the last syllable. When you eat foods rich in salt, sodium, fat – you are bound to feel lethargic. It takes longer for the body to digest such foods. That means the body is forced to deprive organs of blood and use it for the digestion purpose.

Result? You become lazy, moody, not ready to take any responsibility which leads to feeling cranky and irritable. On the other hand, eating fibrous vegetables, fruits, salads, and complex sugars keeps you upbeat and healthy.

6. Laugh Your Heart Out

Laughter is the best medicine. That is why they have a dedicated ‘laughter session’ in yoga studios. You don’t even have to mean it. The simple act of spreading your cheeks and pretending to laugh sends a signal to your body that you are happy.

And what happens when you are happy? Your brain releases happy hormones like dopamine, serotonin and what not. In fact, many studies have gone so far as to stipulate that laughter alone is capable of treating all kinds of physical ailments. Why should emotional ailments be any different?

7. Try Relaxation Techniques

‘’Visualization technique’’ where you imagine yourself in a happy place is a surefire way to calm your nerves if you find yourself distressed. You may also try praying to elate yourself. Praying is good for the mind and the soul.

Controlled breathing or ‘biofeedback technique’ are some other relaxation techniques that can tame how you feel and even your bodily functions. Try surrounding yourself with aromatherapy or scented candles because the smell is a big factor in governing how we feel.

“Positive emotional energy is the key to health, happiness and wellbeing. The more positive you are, the better your life will be in every area.” – Brian Tracy

8. Count Your Blessings

We all have so much to be thankful for. It could be a friend who stands by you or a happy family. Good health. Financial freedom. Make a list of all the things that you feel grateful for in your life. If it’s a person, be sure to communicate your feelings and express your gratitude.

You will feel so much happier. Happiness is the diet of a healthy mind and an intelligent emotional response mechanism. You could also try writing a poem or simply expressing your gratitude through the power of prayers.

There are so many ways to become emotionally intelligent and not one of them requires any investment or special skills. Practically anyone and everyone can do it. All you need is the will and the desire.

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How You Can Use the Power of Gratitude to Your Advantage




The word gratitude has been tossed around, but do you know exactly what it means or how to implement it into your life? Someone has probably told you in your life, “Express more gratitude.” Well, that sounds like a great idea, but if you don’t know what gratitude is, how can you fully express it in your life? It’s a concept that once you grasp, it will change your life. (more…)

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