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9 Extreme Differences Between The Dreamers and Doers

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dreaming comes with taking action

It’s a noble idea to pursue your dreams. All of us have received inspiration from the time we were born to go after our dreams. We have heard that we should chase our most sacred dreams, from our mentors, from books and from the movies.

Yet so few of us actually go after our dreams. After high school or college, we pass on our dreams and opt for a paycheck. We would rather do what pays the bills and helps us get by than step out of our comfort zone and live the life that’s possible for us.

Living your dream is no easy feat. In fact, in the pursuit of my dream, I’ve lost relationships, a marriage, a 6-figure career, a house, friendships, family and jobs. In the pursuit of writing, I gave up free time, weekends and a social life. Over the past few years, the keyboard has become my muse and the computer screen my teacher. My editors have been my guides and my audience has been my encouragement.

While anyone can go after their dreams, not everyone will. The people who have only dreams without action we’ll call “dreamers.” The people who take action on their dreams we’ll call “doers.”

Here are 9 differences between the “dreamers” and the “doers” in the world:

1. Dreamers talk, doers do

Ask a dreamer about their dreams and they will paint the most inspiring and grandiose picture of what they envision. They will talk about every aspect of what they think is possible in the future. The doer, on the other hand, will talk little and walk a lot. The doer will forsake talk for action. They will wake up early, work late, sacrifice their weekends and keep going when they face failures.

 

2. Dreamers postpone, doers start

Dreamers will allow roadblocks to distract and delay them. They will come up with reasons for why they can’t start today. Doers will start before they are ready. If they can’t start immediately, they will prepare, gather resources, find mentors and figure out what needs to be done so they can start.

“A dream doesn’t become reality through magic. It takes sweat, determination and hard work.” – Colin Powell

3. Dreamers speculate, doers experiment

Dreamers contemplate all the pros and cons of a situation. They hypothesize, theorize and philosophize about what’s possible. They plan for situations that can come up. While some planning is good, experimenting is better. When you do something, you’ll know what works and what doesn’t. When something you’re working on fails, you’ll have the opportunity to improve upon it. Doers keep trying, failing and trying again until it works.

 

4. Dreamers find excuses, doers take action

If something doesn’t go their way, the dreamer will blame and then delay. They will find reasons why their ideas aren’t working. They will find excuses as to why they can’t continue and why it’s someone else’s fault. The “doer”, on the other hand, is solution oriented. They are constantly looking to fix problems, come up with new solutions and get creative with the problems they face. They opt for action, even the smallest kind, instead of letting excuses as to why something can’t be done paralyze them.

 

5. Dreamers listen to fear, doers work through fear

Fear is natural and everyone will face it. Fears will come up when you are doing something extraordinary or when you are outside your comfort zone. Dreamers will think about fears and let it paralyze them. Doers, on the other hand, find ways to push the limits of their fears. Doers also face fear, but they are able to move forward with their fears in tow. They ask what’s the worst that can happen, know the worst won’t happen and move forward anyway. They know that overcoming one set of fears will position them to better manage the next set of fears.

 

6. Dreamers focus on the destination, doers focus on the journey

If you think about simply getting to the destination or arriving at the dream but take no action, you’re unlikely to get there. Dreamers love to visualize the destination, which is important, but they take no additional steps. Doers supplement their dreams with action. They actually believe their dream is alive today, not in the future, so each day they focus on getting to the place they desire.

 

7. Dreamers compare their dreams, doers construct their dreams

Dreamers will think of their dreams and then compare themselves to other people who have achieved their dreams. They will compare themselves to people around them. They will compare themselves to people who tried and failed to achieve their dreams. Doers do less of the comparison game. They simply work on building up their dreams each day regardless of what others have done. They look to others for lessons and guidance, not comparisons.

“As soon as you start to pursue a dream, your life wakes up and everything has meaning.” – Barbara Sher

8. Dreamers stop with failure, doers are inspired by failure

Dreamers will fail once and call it quits on their dreams. Doers will see a failure as a way to improve and get better. Dreamers will believe that failure is a sign to stop. Doers believe that failure is a sign to take it up a notch. Doers know that the more they fail, the closer they get to success.

 

9. Dreamers stop, doers keep going

Along the same lines, dreamers stop after obstacles, failures and setbacks. If you don’t believe enough in your dreams, you’ll give up on them easily. If you don’t put effort and energy into achieving your dreams, you’ll have little incentive to keep going. Doers, however, are a resilient bunch. They don’t want to fail and have their efforts go to waste, so they’ll keep pushing forward. They know that every setback will help them get closer to the destination.

Are you a dreamer or doer? What are you going to do today to advance your dream? Leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Vishnu Virtues is the writer behind the popular personal growth and spirituality blog for people starting over in life. You can find his weekly blog posts at www.vishnusvirtues.com and his Amazon books on love and relationships here.

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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