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5 Steps to Conquer the Cycle of Overwork and Have Your Most Productive Year Yet




It’s long past 6pm and you’re still sitting at your desk, pouring over reports and notes from an earlier meeting. Your caffeine pick-me-up has long faded and you are finally considering leaving for the day, only to look up and find that at least half of your co-workers are still firmly glued to their own chairs.

You resign yourself to another couple of hours of work before you head home, crash on the couch and get up and do it all over the next day. Sound familiar? This cycle of overwork is far too common, and often it creeps up on us before we realize it. You may work for a company that values a great deal of face time, to the point of creating an atmosphere where hours on the job are more highly valued than actual productivity.

You may be a part of a team that thrives on the adrenaline rush of trying to finish a project at the last minute to meet an important deadline. Or you may have gone with the flow early on in your job, and now find yourself surrounded by colleagues who routinely send emails at all hours and expect you to make yourself available around the clock as well.

These situations result when there is no clear alignment between your values and the expectations of your boss or colleagues, leading to undue stress and diminished productivity. Over time, the constant stress will negatively impact your health, relationships and reduce your overall quality of life.

The good news is there are ways that can help you regain control of your time, tipping the balance in favor of a more manageable work environment which sets you up for maximum productivity.

Here are the five simple steps:

1. Set boundaries

You don’t have to make a broad announcement to your whole office that you will no longer answer emails in the evenings for them to get the picture that work is no longer going to follow you home. Write down how you envision your workday to get a clear idea of what is most important to you and then start turning your vision into a reality.

Be polite but firm when someone asks (or demands) more of your time or energy than you are willing to give (say by asking you to put together a few slides for tomorrow’s presentation at 11pm). It may take time, and there may be some pushback, but eventually the people around you will realize that your time is valuable and that you will expect them to treat it as such (or compensate you adequately for what it’s worth).

“I encourage people to remember that “No” is a complete sentence.” – Gavin de Becker

2. Compare yourself less

Every workplace has someone who boasts about how late they stayed, or how many hours they’re working (how many of those are spent watching YouTube is another story). Competing with someone who keeps this kind of schedule is a recipe for unhappiness.

Have confidence that if you do your job well you won’t need to prove your worth by clocking in extra hours, especially at the expense of spending quality time with family and friends. Work on developing meaningful pursuits outside of work so you always have something to look forward to, allowing you to more easily ignore any side eye from colleagues when you promptly leave at the end of the workday.

3. Take your breaks

Research shows that short and frequent breaks help with overall stamina and even to reduce minor aches and pains associated with long periods of sitting. Moreover, breaks can help spark creative thinking, allowing you to find unique ways to problem solve and perform your job better.

Trying different techniques can help provide some structure if you are not used to taking regular breaks, while helping to increase your focus on a given task. Even something small like not eating your lunch at your desk once a week can help ease stress when you’re feeling overworked.

4. Socialize with your colleagues

It might be tempting if you have an ever growing pile of work to hunker down with your headphones on and not acknowledge any of your coworkers but this type of mindset is counterproductive in the long run. Not only do employees with weak social ties have much higher mortality rates, they also report feeling less happy in the workplace.

Fast-paced and challenging work environments call for greater outlets to release stress. A weekly social lunch with colleagues or writing a simple thank you note can help make your job more enjoyable and feel less hectic even if your overall hours do not change.

“I absolutely love to relax and have fun. I like socializing; I like chatting. I like dancing, mixing with friends.” – Gwendoline Christie

5. Invest in professional development

According to a study of working-age Millennials, the number one source of frustration in the workplace is a lack of company support for training and professional development. If you’re already feeling overwhelmed by the sheer volume of work on your plate, taking a seminar or an evening class may seem impossible, but it can provide an excellent outlet away from the daily grind of your 9 to 5.

Furthermore, gaining additional skills may boost your overall productivity and may make you a more attractive candidate come promotion time or if you decide to take your talents elsewhere.

The average person will spend close to 10 years of their life at work, which may feel like much more if you’re overworked and overstressed, but even small changes can have a huge impact on your wellbeing at the end of the day.

How do you stay sane when work seems like it will never end? Please leave your thoughts below!

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The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.



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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.



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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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