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Motivation

7 Tips To Banish ‘Busy-Ness’ And Supercharge Your Productivity

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Does this dialogue sound familiar?

‘Hey! How are you?’

‘Busy, as usual. Yourself?’

‘Yeah – really busy. Life’s just crazy, you know?’

‘Yep, crazy-busy.’

We live in a world where it’s not only cool to be busy, it’s glorified. It’s the first thing we say when we greet each other. You’re given a pat on the back when you pull a hefty 13-hour day, or if you’ve done an all-nighter, or if you’ve rushed around like a mad thing to meet a deadline.

We wear our ‘busy-ness’ like a badge of honour and will proudly tell everyone in our lives how crazy and hectic things are.

For me, there’s nothing glamorous or sexy about ‘being busy’. In fact, it’s something I want to steer away from. I don’t want to be run off my feet, stressed out, and overwhelmed. Instead, I choose to move through my day with a sense of ease and grace. How much nicer does that sound?

While we’re busting through myths and misconceptions, let’s debunk another one: life isn’t about trying to find ‘balance’ either.

I think the idea of striving for balance is unrealistic… and kind of destructive. Besides, it doesn’t even exist — it’s just another thing us ladies use to compare and measure ourselves against each other. We even use it as a self-inflicted weapon to make ourselves feel guilty and unworthy. I spent way too much time at work this week, I’m such a bad mamma. I didn’t fit everything in today, I’m such a failure. (Can you believe the awful things our Mean Girl says to us sometimes?!)

The fact is there are times when my work requires more of me. Like when I’m bunkering down to write a book, or knee-deep in a speaking tour, or launching a new product like Get Your Glow On.

There are also times when my family or friends need me more, and everything else gets put on the back burner so I can show up fully for them. I believe it’s all about being present and riding the waves of life. Sometimes one particular area will call for more energy or more love and it’s our job to be so aware and tuned in that we can recognise it and act accordingly.

INSTEAD OF RIGIDLY STRIVING FOR ‘BALANCE’, TUNE INTO THE NATURAL EBBS AND FLOWS OF LIFE – THAT’S WHERE THE MAGIC IS.

{Click to tweet the above quote}

Ready to take action?

If you want to ditch the overwhelm and avoid the busy-ness trap once and for all (and supercharge your productivity while you’re at it), try these 7 hot tips:

 

1. Start using your digital calendar

I used to love using a pretty hand-held calendar that I would carry around in my handbag everywhere I went. But not only was it chunky and extremely heavy, I found myself missing appointments and stuffing up times because the inside of my planner looked like my 2-year-old nephew had taken to the pages with a bunch of pens!

We live in a world where things move and change all the time, and constantly crossing out and writing over things takes time and can look overwhelming (especially if you have writing like mine!).

It’s so easy to move things around on your digital calendar. Plus you can sync it to your smartphone and computer, which makes booking things in super easy. You can also send calendar invites to other people so they don’t miss your meeting or catch up.

 

2. Delegate

For many years, I really struggled with this. My business is my baby, so handing anything over to someone else scared the bejeebers out of me. But since I have learnt to delegate, I have really been able to focus my attention on what I love most, which is writing, speaking, teaching, sharing and creating. As a result, my business has grown exponentially.

To make this shift for yourself, work out what you love doing in your business. If you love writing and creating content, and don’t necessarily love sending invoices, bookkeeping and assigning tags in Infusionsoft (also lovingly known at MA HQ as Confusionsoft), then hire someone else to do it. You need to stay in your zone of genius and stop wasting your precious time doing things you don’t enjoy. Life’s too short to do anything that doesn’t light you up.

 

3. Make sure you schedule in time for you

I know it sounds ridiculous that we have to actually schedule in downtime, but we do: if we don’t, it doesn’t happen! I personally make sure my yoga, meditation and afternoon self-love time are all added to my digital calendar, otherwise I know they’ll just fall by the wayside.

Set yourself up for success by scheduling in your self-love time today. You can also make it a recurring task, which saves you time and makes sure these essential activities are always front-and-centre in your day. Need ideas for your self love time?

Check out my FREE self love menu today.

 

Melissa Ambrosini
 

4. Ask for help

There’s a common misconception that we have to do it all alone and that if we don’t, we’re a failure. This is BS. When you really let go of that belief — and simply ask for help when you need it — you can avoid burn-out and stop overwhelm in its tracks.

Give it a go.

ASKING FOR HELP ISN’T AN ACT OF WEAKNESS; IT’S AN ACT OF SELF-LOVE.

{Click to tweet the above quote}

5. Brain dump

In this post I talk about “Things“, which is one of my favourite productivity tools.

Every morning I do a brain dump into the app, which helps stop my brain swirling into overwhelm and falling into that unproductive busy-ness trap.

 

6. Meditation

Want to supercharge your productivity? Meditate! But let me guess: you’re too busy and don’t have time, right? Wrong. We all have the same amount of hours in the day — it’s about prioritising yourself, scheduling it in your digital calendar, then showing up every single day.

As Tom Cronin says, we have 72 units of 20 minutes per day. All you need to do is allocate two of those and you still have 70 units left!

 

7. Eat your frog first

Once you get all of your tasks out of your head and into your app (or onto paper), you need to start organising them. Divide your brain dump into four categories:

  1. Things you don’t want to do, and actually don’t need to do.
  2. Things you don’t want to do, but actually do need to do (the frogs).
  3. Things you want to do and actually do need to do.
  4. Things you want to do, but actually don’t need to do.

Once you’ve got your list organised, it’s time to prioritise the sections. The most important place to start? The ‘frogs’. These are the things you don’t like doing, but that actually really need to be done. They’re the ones you aren’t motivated to do, and that send you spiralling into procrastination. In fact, they can hang over your head all day and fill you with guilt… yet you still can’t bring yourself to actually get ‘em done.

So how can we finish our frogs?

Frogs need structure around them to ensure that they actually get finished. You can create the motivation you need to make them happen by either transforming them into something desirable (say, turning your weekly vacuuming session into a lounge room dance-jam) or by linking the act of frog-finishing to another, stronger habit.

In his famous book Eat That Frog, Brian Tracy suggests that the best habit to get into is eating your frogs first thing in the morning, which is exactly how I like to structure my to-do list. Not only does it mean you get the icky stuff over with first (leaving you free to do the things you enjoy without a cloud of guilt hanging over your head) but it’s also incredibly rewarding. Within the first hour or so of my work day, I already feel like I’ve made great headway, and that surge of momentum helps me glide through the rest of my day with ease. (Like Mark Twain once said, “If you have to eat a live frog, it does not pay to sit and look at it for a very long time!”)

Bonus Tip: Ban the ‘B’ word

My team and I have eliminated the word ‘busy’ from our vocabulary. It helps, a lot! Try it if you like. And next time someone asks you how you are, try not responding with, ‘Oh, I am so busy’. Instead, connect with how you’re feeling and go from there.

Now I’d love to hear from you, beautiful. Tell me, are you ready to ditch the busy-ness badge of honour? And do you have a favourite tip for supercharging your productivity and sailing through your to-do list with ease and grace? I’d love to hear your insights.

Thanks so much for being here, and for sharing from your heart. I love the bejeebers out of you!

Love Melissa

P.S. Do you know someone who could really benefit from this post? I’d love you to share it with all of your friends, family and tribe so we can all get un-busy together!

I'm an author, entrepreneur, motivational speaker, and self-love teacher. I love teaching women how to master their inner Mean Girl, to smash through limiting beliefs, and ditch the self-doubt so that they can start truly living the life of their dreams. Click HERE to grab my new book "Mastering Your Mean Girl" + my bonus meditations.

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3 Comments

3 Comments

  1. Brandon Villano

    Oct 9, 2015 at 12:07 am

    Your intro is so on point. Definitely nothing glamorous about being busy! There is such a stigma around making some time for yourself. I don’t get it. Reminds me of when I was in college, pulling all-nighters was the cool thing to do. And if you actually slept, then you must be lazy…

    Also, I like your take on striving for balance. If you have your values down pat, then there is nothing wrong with switching your schedule around when your integral priorities need more attention.

    -Brandon

  2. Dotchamou Zakari

    Oct 6, 2015 at 9:13 pm

    Thank you for this post ful helpful informations. Now why are so busy ? The answer is to do like everybody does. How to stop being busy ? Refuse to follow the crowd, just focus on things that really matter in life.

  3. Rose Costas

    Oct 6, 2015 at 5:08 pm

    Thanks Melissa We all have gone through it and others will if they haven’t. You have to get to a place where you choose not to allow the job to wear you down. You have to plan, prioritize and the things that cannot be done you delegate.
    There is no use trying to be super woman to prove to others how great you are or feel guilty becasue you aren’t. I wish every woman would read this.

    Thanks

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Motivation

The Letter I Wrote To A Broken Man

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Every day I get lots of emails from readers asking me how to solve a major life issue.

I got one last week and realized that my advice is often the same. I thought that it might be easier to write my advice about how to stop being so broken. That way, every time I get one of these emails I can point people to it.

Here’s the advice I gave this broken man that wrote to me:

 

1. Find someone who is going to change your thinking

This man had a whole list of problems that he tried to tell me were impossible to solve. He listed them in such detail and made each one sound beyond impossible to solve. He was hoping that he would bamboozle me and that I’d reply and say “Mate you’re right, those problems are impossible to solve and I can’t help you.”

The first step I always tell these so called “broken people” is that they need to get out of their head. They’ve become obsessed with their challenges and they need to interrupt their thinking. The easiest and quickest way to do this is to find someone to change your thinking.

To make this broken man’s life easy, I gave him the answer of who to start with. He needed a rapid change of thinking and the best person I know to do this is Tony Robbins. Now I could have let him find his own person to assist, but it would have ended up becoming another excuse.

What he needed to hear was something radically different to the story that he’d memorized and become an expert narrator in. Tony sure knows how to change the way you think and slap you in the face when you need it. This is always the beginning.

 

2. Quit your job

This broken man blamed a lot of his problems on his job. This is common in all the letters I get from people who think they’re broken. They all have an issue that stems from what they do for a living.

What’s crazy is that your job or business is your decision. If you don’t like the result, then quit. It’s not rocket science; it’s just the reality.

“Quitting something you hate is the best decision you’ll ever make”

You can always find another source of income. The best thing about quitting is that you’ll be forced to find a new way to make a living pretty quickly so you can pay your bills.

Make it a slow transition if you need to, but just know that you must quit. Don’t let anything piss you off anymore. Stop doing what you don’t love. If your work doesn’t light you up, then quit!

 

3. Failing a lot is good. Stop being afraid.

My friend, the broken man, tried to tell me that he was failing a lot. I stood up in my seat and gave him a metaphorical round of applause (he obviously couldn’t see me do this). If you’re failing a lot, then that’s the best bloody news I’ve ever heard! Don’t be down about it; be excited about it.

This means your giving it a go and taking action. That’s better than 99% of other people who are doing nothing and sitting on the couch hoping to get lucky. You’ll eventually find a way if you keep failing. It’s inevitable.

Being afraid is unnecessary and it’s delusional. You’re not supposed to know exactly what to do and no one who is successful does.

“You’re supposed to take action, and then learn from the outcomes and adjust the sails of your ship as you go”

 

4. Go and volunteer at a homeless shelter

I’ve said this one a lot because I’ve personally found it very effective – In fact, I was just at the homeless shelter again last week. It’s the idea that you need to see problems far bigger than your own. I’ve never seen anyone walk into a homeless shelter and spend a day there, who hasn’t come out the other side with a new way of looking at life.

You’re forced into helping others and you do whatever you can because many of the people you’ll meet are beyond desperate. In reality, your problems are not desperate where as there’s is. Once you’ve seen the worst there is to see, then you’ll be able to break your pattern of misery.

 

5. Your problems are the same

This broken man was so stuck in his circumstances that he couldn’t see the rest of the world. He stopped seeing the hardships that others are going through and he somehow believed the lie that he was the only one facing these problems. I told him something he didn’t expect: “Your problems are the same as every other email I get.”

This was true. Every email I get with these so-called “impossible challenges” is the same. It’s the same issue with a different character playing the lead role of the story. Your problems are not unique or special. Your problems yesterday were vanilla and my problems today are strawberry. They’re all flavors of the same milkshake.

 

6. You’re being selfish

The last very blunt thing I said to this broken man (out of love and respect) was: “You’re being selfish.” I told him that his entire story was about him and his own selfish desires.

Nowhere in the story was there room for anybody else. Nowhere in the story was there a purpose to unite people, or serve people or give something to someone. It was all just about him and how important he was and how he must have all the answers.

“The way you become broken in the first place is when you’re 100% focused on yourself”

Selfishness is at the heart of so many life problems. It’s not all about you, you know. I’d go as far as saying that you should make your life about much more than you.

Once you move away from being entirely selfish, new opportunities start to find their way to you. These opportunities are not luck; these opportunities are the result of you moving beyond just caring about yourself. Until you give a damn about other people, you’re going to continue to be broken.

You started to become broken in the first place when you forgot about everyone else and became obsessed with yourself. Kill the obsession and you’ll find the answer to your dreams.

These are the things I told this young man. These are the same tools you can use if you feel broken.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

Don’t Hurt Your Future Self By Quitting

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“Every decision you make affects someone very special: your future self”

You’ve never met this person, but they are carrying the torch of your dreams. Life is hard for them too except their further along the timeline of life than you. Have you ever wondered what the future you will be like?

It’s something worth contemplating through deep and inward thinking.

When you give up on your dreams and quit, you’re not just hurting you right now, you’re killing the future you as well. That future you is bound by the decisions that you make today. One day you will become that future you and wish you could change that decision to quit. By then, it’s too late to change the past. There ain’t no rewind button on life.

 

Do you really need to quit?

I know you think it’s impossible and your only option is to quit, but that’s because you’ve reached your breaking point. I’ve been there too. I’ve reached a level of failure that has become insurmountable. I too have felt like I couldn’t go on and life had no meaning.

All of your emotional states, at times, can get like this. We’re human after all and don’t you forget that. We live in a flawed body, but that’s why humans are so beautiful in the first place. You don’t need to quit right now; there’s always another way.

 

The best thing to do when you want to quit

This is going to sound cliché: take a break and get out of your head for a few weeks. Go somewhere far, far away and contemplate the meaning of your life and why you’re still here. I say this because your life is a choice. You can decide to end your life at any point, but you haven’t.

You’re not a coward and you’d never do that. You have courage and you’re here for a reason.

 

Quitting may be the best option

Sometimes quitting is a good thing. Sometimes you have too many things on the go and when you quit, you free up time to focus on something that means more to you. My only plea is that you think about your future self when you quit. Think about whether your future self will be affected and whether you’ll be happy with the result.

There are no absolutes in life, only decisions that you make which are guided by your heart. There is no one answer. No one’s right and no one’s wrong. Our circumstances and how we think about them, more importantly, determine the meaning we give to any situation.

 

Who do you want your future self to be?

As you imagine your future self, what is he or she doing? Can you picture where they are? When I asked this question, I got an instant response which reaffirmed what I do today. I instantly saw myself on stage giving speeches to thousands of people.

I saw myself as the person that helps find people’s why and motivates them towards their dreams. I saw myself with a family and writing a best selling book. Strangely enough, I saw my future self as I always have: doing something inspiring to help others. I saw myself unleashing emotion in others to help them push through their limiting beliefs.

 

Now that you know your future self, how can you help them today?

So we’ve done a bit of visualizing in this article already. It’s a powerful way to see what you can become when you don’t quit. It’s a great way to fall in love with the person that you can create in the future by using the power of today’s decisions.

“I think we all need to become dreamers every now and then. If we don’t, we get stuck in today, and in our head full of possibilities”

If I had one tip when it comes to dreaming up the future, it would be this: try and see your future better than it is. Be outrageous and think of possibilities that today would scare you. You’ll be surprised how what you dream up today can become a reality.

I remember suffering from anxiety and trying to dream what it would be like to be rid of it. I remember being scared of flying and always wanting to travel. I remember having never found love and wondering what that would be like. I remember not being able to get in front of lots of people and do any form of public speaking. I remember being too scared to be vulnerable and share the real me.

Now, I’ve completely eliminated my anxiety, I can fly whenever I want with no issues, I have experienced real love, I am on my way to successfully being able to speak in front of larger audiences, and I’m happy to be vulnerable and share my story with everybody. That’s what can happen when you treat your future self with respect.

 

So now what?

Now I want you to do the hard part: take action. Follow the steps above and have some fun. Leave the present for the moment and get to know who you want your future self to be. Your future self is you after all, so you need to treat them like a king or queen.

Write a list of decisions you need to make in order to create the best future you that’s humanly possible. Like I always say, “Don’t be afraid to have big, audacious, crazy dreams.” If you can’t dream it, then you can never achieve it. Remember that next time someone tells you that dreams are BS.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
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Motivation

We All Start With Zero Followers – Comprehenday?

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For the record: followers mean jack, attention is king.

With that said, all of us (including me) started with zero followers. You’re not alone. Whatever your big idea is you are probably going to need people to know about it. The sad truth is that it’s now done via social media.

You’ll need a combination of shares, likes, views, recommends or whatever other form of measurement these crazy social media platforms decide to implement. These metrics equal attention and that’s how people are going to know about what it is that you do.

Let’s not pretend that social media is useless. That would be naïve.

In this bustling, new age world, everyone owns content now. Anyone can go viral and anyone can be heard. Some find this reality a sad fact, but then these same people find something to cry about no matter what so ignore them.

The journey from zero followers to thousands and even millions looks like this:

 

1. We all started somewhere

Quit your complaining we’ve all started at zero followers at some point. Starting with nothing and then building your community up is an amazing feeling. Embrace the journey of creating a following.

The game of comparing follower counts with others will distract you from creating content and force you into consumption mode. Then you’ll over consume and regurgitate all over yourself. Yuck!

 

2. Stop trying to game the system

You can’t buy followers and not have people notice. We can all scan your follower list and see that you cheated. More importantly, the number of followers doesn’t matter.

3. Engagement is everything

Ever seen a social media account with millions of followers and one or two likes/comments per post? That’s because the followers were paid for or tricked into liking the page. I’m going to say it again; the number of followers doesn’t matter.

What matters – if you are creating a community or awareness – is engagement and whether people care about what you’re posting. This can’t be gamed. People will only interact if you are doing and saying stuff that is of value. How do you do that? See the next point.

 

4. It’s not about you and your ego

That’s right. I don’t care, nor does anyone else, about what you had for lunch or who you met at the basketball. What we all care about is what’s in it for me buster?

If you answer that question and do so regularly, people will follow and engage you. That’s how you go from zero followers to millions.

 

5. It takes a while

Zero to a million followers takes times. Like interest on your bank account, your results will compound once you cross the tipping point.

What’s the tipping point?

It’s the point at which you have nailed the following:

– Your message to the world is clear
– It’s consistent (ideally daily)
– It’s unique (not better but different)
– It’s not about you and your ugly ego
– You give more than you ask for (Jab Jab Jab Right Hook)

When you do those things, your follower count and engagement will regularly start to increase.

 

6. You need a breakout moment

The way you do that is my channeling all of your energy and emotion into every piece of content you create. If you do this for long enough, then you’ll eventually have a standout moment. That’s a moment where the world listens and you go viral. It takes time though. You could be waiting five years young Power Ranger.

 

7. Followers like to follow stories

Don’t throw boring stats and pictures at your followers all day, every day. It should come as no surprise that social media works best with stories. The best stories I’ve found are personal stories. Rather than produce content that feeds your ego, put yourself into every story you tell.

 

8. Tell stories that inspire

There are hundreds of types of stories. If I were to encourage you to do one type and one type only it would be to tell inspiring stories. Stories that inspire people to take action, think differently or be emotional about something.

 

9. Say it quickly now!

A story is great but people have a low attention span. This means you’ve got to be able to communicate succinctly. There is a lot of waffle on the Internet. The way to stand out is to plan what you are going to say and cut out the filler. People will love you if they can get value from you and have it delivered in a brief manner. I get this compliment in the form of feedback all the time and I love it.

 

10. There is no one big break

If I look at my online success, there is no one single moment. Going from zero followers and beyond is made up of a whole lot of factors which you’ll never quite work out. What I can tell you though is that all those factors require you to show up.

“Each day you have to show up with something of value to say”

 

11. It doesn’t need to be new necessarily

People think you have to say something new every day. You don’t. Sometimes it’s about saying something in a slightly different way. Sometimes it’s taking a popular idea and saying it in a better way. For me, it’s often about taking something that already exists and saying it in my way, with my story attached.

“Saying something new doesn’t create followers; saying something different does”

12. Find your channel

Everyone’s channel for creating followers is different. Try them all and see which one resonates the best for your niche. Facebook doesn’t really work for me, but Medium and LinkedIn are phenomenal. I would have never known this if I didn’t try them. Experiment like you’re playing with play-doh.

 

13. Quit being romantic

Don’t wait until you have tons of followers to get started. Be the same as you are with zero followers, as you are with a million followers. Being romantic about social media doesn’t work. When I say romantic, it’s kind of the same as saying being precious.

You think you need influence right now. You don’t. You think you need money and lots of it. You don’t. You think you’ll try harder when you’re like Gary Vaynerchuk. You won’t.

So now do you understand that we all start with zero followers and that’s cool bananas?

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
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Motivation

5 Empowering Statements That Will Get Rid of Your Fears Once and for All

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fears

In an instant, you go from being nowhere to being -now here- in the land of the living! Ever wondered how that all happens? In the morning when you wake up, isn’t it just another ordinary miracle how we all of a sudden find ourselves lying in bed, on planet earth and all the stored data of our lives just comes pouring in. One minute you were “who knows where” the next you’re back into “planet earth.”

This is all fascinating, but have you ever had one of those days when as soon as you awaken to the new day, you almost wish it was already over? I mean the thought of crawling out of bed and facing your day is just daunting.

That used to be my kind of morning not sometimes,  but every single day. No matter what I told myself, I just abhorred the new day or the thought of getting out of bed. The muscles in my body ached although it didn’t make sense. I wasn’t sore from exercising because back then, I didn’t even know what exercise was.

“Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves.” – Cheryl Strayed

Each morning that same sick feeling in my stomach would show up, yet I wasn’t sick. In my head, being awake was just as awful as being asleep because the nightmare that was tormenting my life seemed to follow me everywhere, like a dark shadow.

That was the theme of my life back when all I knew was survival and painstaking hustle. It wasn’t until I made some very major decisions in my life that I started to experience a life free from pain, depression, constant sadness and anger.

And while today I live an extremely different reality from what once tormented me, I do realize that many people are still struggling with irrational fears. As far as their reality is concerned, there’s nothing irrational or trivial about how they feel and what they have to deal with each day.

The burden of life is weighing on their shoulders. Whether or not they are occupying a leadership position or simply just want to survive the current upheaval our society is facing, there is a great need for humanity to be reminded of what’s real.

“It’s okay to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave.” – Mandy Hale

This is why I want to share with you statements which will work for you if you have been feeling tormented by the burdens of life and false conditioning. Even if you didn’t grow up in the midst of poverty and harsh conditions like I did, there’s so much junk in one’s mind often clouding your path of prosperity and success.

So on those days when you wake up and your morning feels anything other than miraculous, feed your mind with these 5 statements:

1. I overcome my fear of anything and everything and I live life courageously.

2. I need not to fear. Because fear is not of the present but of the past and future, both of which do not exist in the now.

3. I believe this situation/condition will work out for good and all those concerned. Though I may not know how, I still choose to believe this for myself today and I step into my day eager to find opportunities rather than obstacles.

4. I will not be discouraged or let outside forces dictate what I know to be true in my own heart. I will not allow the opinion of another to kill my dream or wound my heart. This is about being myself, expressing my authentic voice and recognizing that no one else can do it for me.

5. I am no longer a victim and I cease blaming my situation and the people around me for how I feel as this only robs me of joy and success. Because I know I was born to win and succeed, I will press on, firmly grounded in my own power to change my life for the better and empower others to do the same.

Share with us below your special statements and empower those like you who are striving for a better life!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Motivation

The Letter I Wrote To A Broken Man

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Every day I get lots of emails from readers asking me how to solve a major life issue.

I got one last week and realized that my advice is often the same. I thought that it might be easier to write my advice about how to stop being so broken. That way, every time I get one of these emails I can point people to it.

Here’s the advice I gave this broken man that wrote to me:

 

1. Find someone who is going to change your thinking

This man had a whole list of problems that he tried to tell me were impossible to solve. He listed them in such detail and made each one sound beyond impossible to solve. He was hoping that he would bamboozle me and that I’d reply and say “Mate you’re right, those problems are impossible to solve and I can’t help you.”

The first step I always tell these so called “broken people” is that they need to get out of their head. They’ve become obsessed with their challenges and they need to interrupt their thinking. The easiest and quickest way to do this is to find someone to change your thinking.

To make this broken man’s life easy, I gave him the answer of who to start with. He needed a rapid change of thinking and the best person I know to do this is Tony Robbins. Now I could have let him find his own person to assist, but it would have ended up becoming another excuse.

What he needed to hear was something radically different to the story that he’d memorized and become an expert narrator in. Tony sure knows how to change the way you think and slap you in the face when you need it. This is always the beginning.

 

2. Quit your job

This broken man blamed a lot of his problems on his job. This is common in all the letters I get from people who think they’re broken. They all have an issue that stems from what they do for a living.

What’s crazy is that your job or business is your decision. If you don’t like the result, then quit. It’s not rocket science; it’s just the reality.

“Quitting something you hate is the best decision you’ll ever make”

You can always find another source of income. The best thing about quitting is that you’ll be forced to find a new way to make a living pretty quickly so you can pay your bills.

Make it a slow transition if you need to, but just know that you must quit. Don’t let anything piss you off anymore. Stop doing what you don’t love. If your work doesn’t light you up, then quit!

 

3. Failing a lot is good. Stop being afraid.

My friend, the broken man, tried to tell me that he was failing a lot. I stood up in my seat and gave him a metaphorical round of applause (he obviously couldn’t see me do this). If you’re failing a lot, then that’s the best bloody news I’ve ever heard! Don’t be down about it; be excited about it.

This means your giving it a go and taking action. That’s better than 99% of other people who are doing nothing and sitting on the couch hoping to get lucky. You’ll eventually find a way if you keep failing. It’s inevitable.

Being afraid is unnecessary and it’s delusional. You’re not supposed to know exactly what to do and no one who is successful does.

“You’re supposed to take action, and then learn from the outcomes and adjust the sails of your ship as you go”

 

4. Go and volunteer at a homeless shelter

I’ve said this one a lot because I’ve personally found it very effective – In fact, I was just at the homeless shelter again last week. It’s the idea that you need to see problems far bigger than your own. I’ve never seen anyone walk into a homeless shelter and spend a day there, who hasn’t come out the other side with a new way of looking at life.

You’re forced into helping others and you do whatever you can because many of the people you’ll meet are beyond desperate. In reality, your problems are not desperate where as there’s is. Once you’ve seen the worst there is to see, then you’ll be able to break your pattern of misery.

 

5. Your problems are the same

This broken man was so stuck in his circumstances that he couldn’t see the rest of the world. He stopped seeing the hardships that others are going through and he somehow believed the lie that he was the only one facing these problems. I told him something he didn’t expect: “Your problems are the same as every other email I get.”

This was true. Every email I get with these so-called “impossible challenges” is the same. It’s the same issue with a different character playing the lead role of the story. Your problems are not unique or special. Your problems yesterday were vanilla and my problems today are strawberry. They’re all flavors of the same milkshake.

 

6. You’re being selfish

The last very blunt thing I said to this broken man (out of love and respect) was: “You’re being selfish.” I told him that his entire story was about him and his own selfish desires.

Nowhere in the story was there room for anybody else. Nowhere in the story was there a purpose to unite people, or serve people or give something to someone. It was all just about him and how important he was and how he must have all the answers.

“The way you become broken in the first place is when you’re 100% focused on yourself”

Selfishness is at the heart of so many life problems. It’s not all about you, you know. I’d go as far as saying that you should make your life about much more than you.

Once you move away from being entirely selfish, new opportunities start to find their way to you. These opportunities are not luck; these opportunities are the result of you moving beyond just caring about yourself. Until you give a damn about other people, you’re going to continue to be broken.

You started to become broken in the first place when you forgot about everyone else and became obsessed with yourself. Kill the obsession and you’ll find the answer to your dreams.

These are the things I told this young man. These are the same tools you can use if you feel broken.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared hundreds of thousands of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around success, personal development, motivation, and entrepreneurship. During the day Tim works with the most iconic tech companies in the world, as an adviser, to assist them in expanding into Australia. By night, Tim coaches his students on the principles of personal development and the fundamentals of entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net or through his Facebook.

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3 Comments

3 Comments

  1. Brandon Villano

    Oct 9, 2015 at 12:07 am

    Your intro is so on point. Definitely nothing glamorous about being busy! There is such a stigma around making some time for yourself. I don’t get it. Reminds me of when I was in college, pulling all-nighters was the cool thing to do. And if you actually slept, then you must be lazy…

    Also, I like your take on striving for balance. If you have your values down pat, then there is nothing wrong with switching your schedule around when your integral priorities need more attention.

    -Brandon

  2. Dotchamou Zakari

    Oct 6, 2015 at 9:13 pm

    Thank you for this post ful helpful informations. Now why are so busy ? The answer is to do like everybody does. How to stop being busy ? Refuse to follow the crowd, just focus on things that really matter in life.

  3. Rose Costas

    Oct 6, 2015 at 5:08 pm

    Thanks Melissa We all have gone through it and others will if they haven’t. You have to get to a place where you choose not to allow the job to wear you down. You have to plan, prioritize and the things that cannot be done you delegate.
    There is no use trying to be super woman to prove to others how great you are or feel guilty becasue you aren’t. I wish every woman would read this.

    Thanks

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Motivation

The Letter I Wrote To A Broken Man

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Every day I get lots of emails from readers asking me how to solve a major life issue.

I got one last week and realized that my advice is often the same. I thought that it might be easier to write my advice about how to stop being so broken. That way, every time I get one of these emails I can point people to it.

Here’s the advice I gave this broken man that wrote to me:

 

1. Find someone who is going to change your thinking

This man had a whole list of problems that he tried to tell me were impossible to solve. He listed them in such detail and made each one sound beyond impossible to solve. He was hoping that he would bamboozle me and that I’d reply and say “Mate you’re right, those problems are impossible to solve and I can’t help you.”

The first step I always tell these so called “broken people” is that they need to get out of their head. They’ve become obsessed with their challenges and they need to interrupt their thinking. The easiest and quickest way to do this is to find someone to change your thinking.

To make this broken man’s life easy, I gave him the answer of who to start with. He needed a rapid change of thinking and the best person I know to do this is Tony Robbins. Now I could have let him find his own person to assist, but it would have ended up becoming another excuse.

What he needed to hear was something radically different to the story that he’d memorized and become an expert narrator in. Tony sure knows how to change the way you think and slap you in the face when you need it. This is always the beginning.

 

2. Quit your job

This broken man blamed a lot of his problems on his job. This is common in all the letters I get from people who think they’re broken. They all have an issue that stems from what they do for a living.

What’s crazy is that your job or business is your decision. If you don’t like the result, then quit. It’s not rocket science; it’s just the reality.

“Quitting something you hate is the best decision you’ll ever make”

You can always find another source of income. The best thing about quitting is that you’ll be forced to find a new way to make a living pretty quickly so you can pay your bills.

Make it a slow transition if you need to, but just know that you must quit. Don’t let anything piss you off anymore. Stop doing what you don’t love. If your work doesn’t light you up, then quit!

 

3. Failing a lot is good. Stop being afraid.

My friend, the broken man, tried to tell me that he was failing a lot. I stood up in my seat and gave him a metaphorical round of applause (he obviously couldn’t see me do this). If you’re failing a lot, then that’s the best bloody news I’ve ever heard! Don’t be down about it; be excited about it.

This means your giving it a go and taking action. That’s better than 99% of other people who are doing nothing and sitting on the couch hoping to get lucky. You’ll eventually find a way if you keep failing. It’s inevitable.

Being afraid is unnecessary and it’s delusional. You’re not supposed to know exactly what to do and no one who is successful does.

“You’re supposed to take action, and then learn from the outcomes and adjust the sails of your ship as you go”

 

4. Go and volunteer at a homeless shelter

I’ve said this one a lot because I’ve personally found it very effective – In fact, I was just at the homeless shelter again last week. It’s the idea that you need to see problems far bigger than your own. I’ve never seen anyone walk into a homeless shelter and spend a day there, who hasn’t come out the other side with a new way of looking at life.

You’re forced into helping others and you do whatever you can because many of the people you’ll meet are beyond desperate. In reality, your problems are not desperate where as there’s is. Once you’ve seen the worst there is to see, then you’ll be able to break your pattern of misery.

 

5. Your problems are the same

This broken man was so stuck in his circumstances that he couldn’t see the rest of the world. He stopped seeing the hardships that others are going through and he somehow believed the lie that he was the only one facing these problems. I told him something he didn’t expect: “Your problems are the same as every other email I get.”

This was true. Every email I get with these so-called “impossible challenges” is the same. It’s the same issue with a different character playing the lead role of the story. Your problems are not unique or special. Your problems yesterday were vanilla and my problems today are strawberry. They’re all flavors of the same milkshake.

 

6. You’re being selfish

The last very blunt thing I said to this broken man (out of love and respect) was: “You’re being selfish.” I told him that his entire story was about him and his own selfish desires.

Nowhere in the story was there room for anybody else. Nowhere in the story was there a purpose to unite people, or serve people or give something to someone. It was all just about him and how important he was and how he must have all the answers.

“The way you become broken in the first place is when you’re 100% focused on yourself”

Selfishness is at the heart of so many life problems. It’s not all about you, you know. I’d go as far as saying that you should make your life about much more than you.

Once you move away from being entirely selfish, new opportunities start to find their way to you. These opportunities are not luck; these opportunities are the result of you moving beyond just caring about yourself. Until you give a damn about other people, you’re going to continue to be broken.

You started to become broken in the first place when you forgot about everyone else and became obsessed with yourself. Kill the obsession and you’ll find the answer to your dreams.

These are the things I told this young man. These are the same tools you can use if you feel broken.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

Don’t Hurt Your Future Self By Quitting

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“Every decision you make affects someone very special: your future self”

You’ve never met this person, but they are carrying the torch of your dreams. Life is hard for them too except their further along the timeline of life than you. Have you ever wondered what the future you will be like?

It’s something worth contemplating through deep and inward thinking.

When you give up on your dreams and quit, you’re not just hurting you right now, you’re killing the future you as well. That future you is bound by the decisions that you make today. One day you will become that future you and wish you could change that decision to quit. By then, it’s too late to change the past. There ain’t no rewind button on life.

 

Do you really need to quit?

I know you think it’s impossible and your only option is to quit, but that’s because you’ve reached your breaking point. I’ve been there too. I’ve reached a level of failure that has become insurmountable. I too have felt like I couldn’t go on and life had no meaning.

All of your emotional states, at times, can get like this. We’re human after all and don’t you forget that. We live in a flawed body, but that’s why humans are so beautiful in the first place. You don’t need to quit right now; there’s always another way.

 

The best thing to do when you want to quit

This is going to sound cliché: take a break and get out of your head for a few weeks. Go somewhere far, far away and contemplate the meaning of your life and why you’re still here. I say this because your life is a choice. You can decide to end your life at any point, but you haven’t.

You’re not a coward and you’d never do that. You have courage and you’re here for a reason.

 

Quitting may be the best option

Sometimes quitting is a good thing. Sometimes you have too many things on the go and when you quit, you free up time to focus on something that means more to you. My only plea is that you think about your future self when you quit. Think about whether your future self will be affected and whether you’ll be happy with the result.

There are no absolutes in life, only decisions that you make which are guided by your heart. There is no one answer. No one’s right and no one’s wrong. Our circumstances and how we think about them, more importantly, determine the meaning we give to any situation.

 

Who do you want your future self to be?

As you imagine your future self, what is he or she doing? Can you picture where they are? When I asked this question, I got an instant response which reaffirmed what I do today. I instantly saw myself on stage giving speeches to thousands of people.

I saw myself as the person that helps find people’s why and motivates them towards their dreams. I saw myself with a family and writing a best selling book. Strangely enough, I saw my future self as I always have: doing something inspiring to help others. I saw myself unleashing emotion in others to help them push through their limiting beliefs.

 

Now that you know your future self, how can you help them today?

So we’ve done a bit of visualizing in this article already. It’s a powerful way to see what you can become when you don’t quit. It’s a great way to fall in love with the person that you can create in the future by using the power of today’s decisions.

“I think we all need to become dreamers every now and then. If we don’t, we get stuck in today, and in our head full of possibilities”

If I had one tip when it comes to dreaming up the future, it would be this: try and see your future better than it is. Be outrageous and think of possibilities that today would scare you. You’ll be surprised how what you dream up today can become a reality.

I remember suffering from anxiety and trying to dream what it would be like to be rid of it. I remember being scared of flying and always wanting to travel. I remember having never found love and wondering what that would be like. I remember not being able to get in front of lots of people and do any form of public speaking. I remember being too scared to be vulnerable and share the real me.

Now, I’ve completely eliminated my anxiety, I can fly whenever I want with no issues, I have experienced real love, I am on my way to successfully being able to speak in front of larger audiences, and I’m happy to be vulnerable and share my story with everybody. That’s what can happen when you treat your future self with respect.

 

So now what?

Now I want you to do the hard part: take action. Follow the steps above and have some fun. Leave the present for the moment and get to know who you want your future self to be. Your future self is you after all, so you need to treat them like a king or queen.

Write a list of decisions you need to make in order to create the best future you that’s humanly possible. Like I always say, “Don’t be afraid to have big, audacious, crazy dreams.” If you can’t dream it, then you can never achieve it. Remember that next time someone tells you that dreams are BS.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
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Motivation

We All Start With Zero Followers – Comprehenday?

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For the record: followers mean jack, attention is king.

With that said, all of us (including me) started with zero followers. You’re not alone. Whatever your big idea is you are probably going to need people to know about it. The sad truth is that it’s now done via social media.

You’ll need a combination of shares, likes, views, recommends or whatever other form of measurement these crazy social media platforms decide to implement. These metrics equal attention and that’s how people are going to know about what it is that you do.

Let’s not pretend that social media is useless. That would be naïve.

In this bustling, new age world, everyone owns content now. Anyone can go viral and anyone can be heard. Some find this reality a sad fact, but then these same people find something to cry about no matter what so ignore them.

The journey from zero followers to thousands and even millions looks like this:

 

1. We all started somewhere

Quit your complaining we’ve all started at zero followers at some point. Starting with nothing and then building your community up is an amazing feeling. Embrace the journey of creating a following.

The game of comparing follower counts with others will distract you from creating content and force you into consumption mode. Then you’ll over consume and regurgitate all over yourself. Yuck!

 

2. Stop trying to game the system

You can’t buy followers and not have people notice. We can all scan your follower list and see that you cheated. More importantly, the number of followers doesn’t matter.

3. Engagement is everything

Ever seen a social media account with millions of followers and one or two likes/comments per post? That’s because the followers were paid for or tricked into liking the page. I’m going to say it again; the number of followers doesn’t matter.

What matters – if you are creating a community or awareness – is engagement and whether people care about what you’re posting. This can’t be gamed. People will only interact if you are doing and saying stuff that is of value. How do you do that? See the next point.

 

4. It’s not about you and your ego

That’s right. I don’t care, nor does anyone else, about what you had for lunch or who you met at the basketball. What we all care about is what’s in it for me buster?

If you answer that question and do so regularly, people will follow and engage you. That’s how you go from zero followers to millions.

 

5. It takes a while

Zero to a million followers takes times. Like interest on your bank account, your results will compound once you cross the tipping point.

What’s the tipping point?

It’s the point at which you have nailed the following:

– Your message to the world is clear
– It’s consistent (ideally daily)
– It’s unique (not better but different)
– It’s not about you and your ugly ego
– You give more than you ask for (Jab Jab Jab Right Hook)

When you do those things, your follower count and engagement will regularly start to increase.

 

6. You need a breakout moment

The way you do that is my channeling all of your energy and emotion into every piece of content you create. If you do this for long enough, then you’ll eventually have a standout moment. That’s a moment where the world listens and you go viral. It takes time though. You could be waiting five years young Power Ranger.

 

7. Followers like to follow stories

Don’t throw boring stats and pictures at your followers all day, every day. It should come as no surprise that social media works best with stories. The best stories I’ve found are personal stories. Rather than produce content that feeds your ego, put yourself into every story you tell.

 

8. Tell stories that inspire

There are hundreds of types of stories. If I were to encourage you to do one type and one type only it would be to tell inspiring stories. Stories that inspire people to take action, think differently or be emotional about something.

 

9. Say it quickly now!

A story is great but people have a low attention span. This means you’ve got to be able to communicate succinctly. There is a lot of waffle on the Internet. The way to stand out is to plan what you are going to say and cut out the filler. People will love you if they can get value from you and have it delivered in a brief manner. I get this compliment in the form of feedback all the time and I love it.

 

10. There is no one big break

If I look at my online success, there is no one single moment. Going from zero followers and beyond is made up of a whole lot of factors which you’ll never quite work out. What I can tell you though is that all those factors require you to show up.

“Each day you have to show up with something of value to say”

 

11. It doesn’t need to be new necessarily

People think you have to say something new every day. You don’t. Sometimes it’s about saying something in a slightly different way. Sometimes it’s taking a popular idea and saying it in a better way. For me, it’s often about taking something that already exists and saying it in my way, with my story attached.

“Saying something new doesn’t create followers; saying something different does”

12. Find your channel

Everyone’s channel for creating followers is different. Try them all and see which one resonates the best for your niche. Facebook doesn’t really work for me, but Medium and LinkedIn are phenomenal. I would have never known this if I didn’t try them. Experiment like you’re playing with play-doh.

 

13. Quit being romantic

Don’t wait until you have tons of followers to get started. Be the same as you are with zero followers, as you are with a million followers. Being romantic about social media doesn’t work. When I say romantic, it’s kind of the same as saying being precious.

You think you need influence right now. You don’t. You think you need money and lots of it. You don’t. You think you’ll try harder when you’re like Gary Vaynerchuk. You won’t.

So now do you understand that we all start with zero followers and that’s cool bananas?

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
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Motivation

5 Empowering Statements That Will Get Rid of Your Fears Once and for All

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fears

In an instant, you go from being nowhere to being -now here- in the land of the living! Ever wondered how that all happens? In the morning when you wake up, isn’t it just another ordinary miracle how we all of a sudden find ourselves lying in bed, on planet earth and all the stored data of our lives just comes pouring in. One minute you were “who knows where” the next you’re back into “planet earth.”

This is all fascinating, but have you ever had one of those days when as soon as you awaken to the new day, you almost wish it was already over? I mean the thought of crawling out of bed and facing your day is just daunting.

That used to be my kind of morning not sometimes,  but every single day. No matter what I told myself, I just abhorred the new day or the thought of getting out of bed. The muscles in my body ached although it didn’t make sense. I wasn’t sore from exercising because back then, I didn’t even know what exercise was.

“Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves.” – Cheryl Strayed

Each morning that same sick feeling in my stomach would show up, yet I wasn’t sick. In my head, being awake was just as awful as being asleep because the nightmare that was tormenting my life seemed to follow me everywhere, like a dark shadow.

That was the theme of my life back when all I knew was survival and painstaking hustle. It wasn’t until I made some very major decisions in my life that I started to experience a life free from pain, depression, constant sadness and anger.

And while today I live an extremely different reality from what once tormented me, I do realize that many people are still struggling with irrational fears. As far as their reality is concerned, there’s nothing irrational or trivial about how they feel and what they have to deal with each day.

The burden of life is weighing on their shoulders. Whether or not they are occupying a leadership position or simply just want to survive the current upheaval our society is facing, there is a great need for humanity to be reminded of what’s real.

“It’s okay to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave.” – Mandy Hale

This is why I want to share with you statements which will work for you if you have been feeling tormented by the burdens of life and false conditioning. Even if you didn’t grow up in the midst of poverty and harsh conditions like I did, there’s so much junk in one’s mind often clouding your path of prosperity and success.

So on those days when you wake up and your morning feels anything other than miraculous, feed your mind with these 5 statements:

1. I overcome my fear of anything and everything and I live life courageously.

2. I need not to fear. Because fear is not of the present but of the past and future, both of which do not exist in the now.

3. I believe this situation/condition will work out for good and all those concerned. Though I may not know how, I still choose to believe this for myself today and I step into my day eager to find opportunities rather than obstacles.

4. I will not be discouraged or let outside forces dictate what I know to be true in my own heart. I will not allow the opinion of another to kill my dream or wound my heart. This is about being myself, expressing my authentic voice and recognizing that no one else can do it for me.

5. I am no longer a victim and I cease blaming my situation and the people around me for how I feel as this only robs me of joy and success. Because I know I was born to win and succeed, I will press on, firmly grounded in my own power to change my life for the better and empower others to do the same.

Share with us below your special statements and empower those like you who are striving for a better life!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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