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5 Signs You Can Turn Your Life Around Even if It Seems Impossible

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how to turn your life around

Take a quick reality check right now. You could simply look around you, or assess what’s going on in the aspects of your life you care about most such as your relationships, finances, or physical health.

It shouldn’t take long to realize something needs to change, or—your life needs a 180-degree turn. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve been plugging away for too long or your stress levels are off the charts or, perhaps the worst, nothing seems to be changing for the better. You’re not seeing any results, every day, during this time you’re expecting some sort of redemption.

Whatever the case, here are five signs you can still turn your life around, even though you think it’s impossible:

1. You’re learning there’s something wrong with your habits, behaviors, or attitude

Like many others, you started thinking, “Why is nothing happening?” But for the most part, you’ve only been looking at the end result. At this point you realize doing so is a recipe for disaster. You understand that to produce better results, you have to fix the system in which you operate. You begin looking at the everyday activities and habits taking over you since who-knows-when.

It becomes apparent that you need some sort of self-discipline—of course not necessarily like the Navy SEALs have—but you start sticking to a routine that you know will make you more productive.

Perhaps you’ve been focusing on the hardships rather than the small victories. Pause for a moment and acknowledge the latter.

An accomplishment—however small—is something, and should be celebrated. Maybe you’ve been looking for shortcuts. You know exactly how to reach a goal, but you’re averse to the inevitable hard work. Maybe you’re bearing the victim mentality. It’s easy to resort to these kinds of thinking especially when you haven’t seen results yet.

2. You’re realizing you’re living or hanging out with the wrong people

It’s indisputable that wherever you go, there you are. But it’s also undeniable that you are heavily influenced by the people in your immediate proximity—the people you’re with every single day.

As the months or years go on, you realize these people are indirectly stunting your growth. Sometimes it hurts when it’s your family or close friends. Sometimes you won’t even notice it at face value because petty office politics is convenient just like that.

You find that most of them complain a lot, talk about other people in hushed voices, or surround their life mainly by work that they abandon other people and things just as important.

Because of those people, you start to take advice selectively. You become cautious because you don’t want to live a life based on whims. You start looking for people and experiences that will make your life more meaningful.

“When you are offended at any man’s fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger.” – Epictetus

3. You’re not doing what you’re meant to be doing

It hits you that after all these years, after you’ve done the supposed “preliminary requirements for life,” you’re still not doing things that bring out your talents, skills, and passion. In other words, things that bring out the best in you.

For so long you’ve only been looking at pictures and videos. At best you can only say you’re the perfect enthusiast. Perhaps a decade has already passed but the moment of actually doing it is still yet to come.

As a result, an internal conflict has grown very strong. You feel there’s no harmony between yourself and your daily routine. There’s a rebellion. And you’re not doing the best work you can. Another way to look at this is by asking yourself, “What would I rather NOT be doing or experiencing?” It’s a negative kind of motivation but points you in a better direction.

4. You’re recognizing the lie your world has become

Following the three signs above, this one shouldn’t come as a surprise. One of the worst perpetrators of this illusion is the media. When you find something as flashy or glamorous or easy as what the media is bombarding you with, take a moment to step back and think.

Collectively, the media —TV, radio, magazines—has always been the same. They sell you stuff that are supposed to make you happy, hoping you’ll be unable to know the difference between real happiness and the shallow, superficial one.

Then, social media came to make it even worse. Sure, you idolize those famous people, but are they the ones you genuinely should be listening to or basing your life decisions on? Of course you know that not all media is bad. But you start to notice the “unpopular” things in life like hard work, failures, and self-discipline.

You think they’re unpopular for one reason: they’re not easy. And you begin to ask more questions while being enlightened by the fact that you’ve only been enjoying the facade—the lie. You’ve been rejecting the reality of what it takes to reach success.

“I can control my destiny, but not my fate. Destiny means there are opportunities to turn right or left, but fate is a one-way street. I believe we all have the choice as to whether we fulfil our destiny, but our fate is sealed.” – Paulo Coelho

5. You know you can take a small step—right now

Despite the overwhelming feeling—perhaps of shame—to which you’ve unfortunately grown accustomed to, you realize you can do something about your situation, even with a small step. I’m going out on a limb here—no matter how hard life may seem, deep inside you can’t deny you can do something.

“Embarrass” yourself by living with your parents for a while? Wake up earlier and sleep later than you used to? Apply for that temporary job while figuring things out? You realize you really have no excuses not to pursue the life you want.

You feel the inferno that’s about to devour that internal conflict once and for all. To know you can pick just one among the many options you’re being presented with—and start doing it—is the most powerful sign.

Watch out for these signs

Turning your life around is largely about self-knowledge. You align yourself with the reality around you. Most of the time, however, the reality is simply the status quo, and most probably, the reason you’re in a dire situation is that you haven’t challenged it, ever.

On the other hand, if these signs have been teasing you for a while now, then you should be on the right track in starting your life anew. Is it going to be easy? Probably not. But sometimes a simple decision is all it takes to stop living without intention, passion, and meaning—and start going after the prize that fulfills your soul.

What’s the sign that resonated with you the most? I would love to hear about it in the comments!

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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