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Don’t Wait for Permission to Chase Your Dreams

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Would a race feel fair if there were no starting gun? Imagine you are crouched at the starting line of a race along with all the other runners, and you are all expected to just begin the race whenever you feel like it. That is the world you are in right at this very moment.

Childhood has a way of framing things that makes adulthood rather confusing. When you are a child, there are always beginnings and endings. Each school year begins in September, and ends in May or June. Math class begins at 11:00 am and ends at 12:00 pm, whereupon you go to lunch. The human mind is designed to learn patterns, and learn to expect them. Thus, it comes as something of a shock when, as an adult, one learns that the world is no longer working according to those patterns; there is no starting gun in the race you now run.

You mustn’t wait for the starting gun, you mustn’t wait for permission, you mustn’t wait for the tide to come in or the weather to be perfect, because if you do, you will be waiting forever.

Stop waiting for your turn

One reason so many jerks get ahead is they don’t wait in line. It’s not that being a jerk is a way to become successful; it’s that not waiting for permission is one of the behaviors jerks happen to share with successful people, and thus, often jerks can wind up becoming successful.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill

Move out from your comfort zones

Many of the best students at the top universities don’t go anywhere because they adapted perfectly for an environment full of mentorship, structure, and clearly defined goals where everyone wants them to succeed. In the real world, the goalposts are always moving, the field of battle is always covered in fog, and no one will spit on you even if you are on fire.

Surround yourself with hustlers

Another fetter that could be holding you back is the sort of people with whom you surround yourself. Here’s an easy test: Bring some aspect of your creative work to your friends for a critique. If their first instinct is to offer help for making it the best version of what it is, then you have some good friends.

If their first instinct is to disengage with what you actually created, essentially saying what they would have created were they you, then they aren’t really being helpful to you. They’re using your endeavor for them to be creative by proxy. Telling someone their lemonade stand should be an app startup isn’t helpful.

Some of this sort of negativity goes to the pattern recognition circuitry in our brains, designed to memorize what leopards look like in tall grass, and make us paranoid because the paranoid tends to survive. Not your problem. When friends’ negativity becomes your problem, spend less time with them.

You need friends who will buoy you, not sink you. If old friends of yours are negative people, fine. Know that there is a trade off in time spent with them and your ability to pull it together to chase your dreams.

The best time to start is now

Perhaps, in order to get that dream job, you need a specialized degree that will mean years of additional schooling. Let’s say you’re 25 right now. If you start now, you might finish when you are 28. If that seems like a long time, consider how it will feel if you finally pick up your new degree when you are 28, or 33, or 42. The sooner you embrace your dreams, the sooner they will happen, and you’ll spend less time in regret.

Do not fear

Perhaps you fear failure, or more specifically, you fear a kind of failure. If you dream of being a skater, know that all ice skaters fall, both in practice and in the Olympics. The greatest baseball players in history miss 7 out of 10 times they swing the bat. Failure is fine. Failure is part of learning. They have a saying in Silicon Valley: fail fast. The faster you fail, the sooner you will know how to succeed.

Be mentored

Would it feel better if you had a guide? Of course, it would. Know mentors may not be who you expect, or come when you want them to. Some wrangle a mentor early on, but more often than not, people don’t have mentors in the beginning.

You may wonder how your mentor will find you. This is an answer you have to find for yourself, but one thing is clear, they will not find you if you are sitting at home twiddling your thumbs. Baseball scouts find the talented kids who end up in the draft because those kids join teams and play baseball.

Hollywood agents find actors because the actors find their way onto the stage or the screen, and keep coming back until one night, the agent is in the audience. If you don’t do it, and no one sees it, then no one wants it. Your mentor will find you when you have shown you are worth throwing one’s weight behind.

“A mentor is someone who allows you to see the higher part of yourself when sometimes it becomes hidden to your own view.” – Oprah

You should be able to see by now that there’s really nothing between you and setting off in search of your dreams. Remember these steps: Decide what you need to accomplish your dream, and start with the first thing on the list. If the people around you deride your efforts in any way, stop spending time with them.

Get out the door and act on your dream, even on a small scale, even if you aren’t sure it will work. The way you fail will teach you how to succeed. If you succeed enough, a mentor will appear to guide you. From there, you will have much smoother sailing on your way to your life’s dreams. Just don’t ask for permission.

Life

A Simple but Effective Technique to Be More Confident

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Many people want to learn how to be confident in different situations, but it’s not always easy. Maybe we’re too addicted to comparing ourselves or maybe social media has brainwashed us to believe that we should all be rich, famous, and in incredible shape. (more…)

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Knowing Your Message vs Delivering Your Message

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Have you ever sent a text message only to have it misinterpreted by the person reading it? Happens all the time. Have you ever given a presentation that you were totally prepared for only to have it fall flat? Happens all the time. Have you ever had someone ask you something like, “Why are you mad?” when you were not at all mad? Happens all the time. (more…)

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The 3 Most Important Things I Learned About Personal Growth

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When you look back on your life, what do you want to think about? Do you plan to reminisce on all of the good things that have happened and how they shaped who you are today? Or would you rather remember all of the bad decisions, challenging experiences, and mistakes made that hurt or wasted a portion of your life?

In my opinion, I think it is important to reflect on both. While it’s important to remember the hardships we’ve been through in our lives – without them we wouldn’t be where we are now. There are 3 very specific areas that I feel have helped me grow in a personal sense more than anything else in my life so far. 

These aren’t simple lessons in a book or a lecture that you can just absorb and apply to your life. These are things that I’ve learned through experience and reflection, and I’m still learning and growing today.

1. We determine how much we’re worth by what we think about ourselves, others, and life in general.

This might seem like a pretty obvious lesson in life but it’s actually one of the most important because we can determine our own worth by how we think about ourselves and the world around us. If you’re looking for success in any kind of business or social setting (dating), then I’ll tell you right now that it doesn’t matter if you have 10 billion dollars or not – people are still going to judge you based on your thoughts and beliefs alone.

What determines our value isn’t necessarily what we do with our lives (which is often based on luck) but whether or not we believe that ‘our work’ is worthy or not in some sort of grand scheme or universe. We may not always be able to control what happens in our lives, but we can always control how we value ourselves and others.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou

2. You don’t have to change your habits or personality just because someone else doesn’t like it – their opinions are THEIRS alone.

This is another one of those lessons that people tend to pick up on a little bit late in life, but if anything that makes its importance even worse! Basically, there’s going to come a time when you’re going to meet someone who has certain expectations of you as a person…but these expectations might not be realistic due to their motivations and personal beliefs. For example, sometimes parents might expect you to be a lawyer or doctor because that’s what they believe is best for their child.

However, this isn’t the case for everyone and so maybe your passion lies in music or writing novels. In this example, if you were also pressured into becoming a doctor – then there would obviously be some kind of conflict going on within yourself as a person. You should never have to give up something that you want to do just because someone else doesn’t like it! The reason why we’re put onto this Earth is to make our own choices and go after our OWN dreams instead of letting others determine what we can and cannot do with our lives .

3. You can’t change your life until you accept that you need to make a change.

When I was younger, I thought that this lesson would be pretty obvious – but as I got older, it really made me appreciate the fact that there are always different ways of perceiving our lives. For example, if someone wants to become rich and famous one day – their mind might simply overshadow any other possibility in their head because they feel like this is what they NEED to do right now.

However, this isn’t always true within our own lives because we think about things too literally instead of having an open mind. If you want to achieve success in any kind of business or social setting (dating) then you should be willing to try out different things instead of staying in your comfort zone. If you want something, then it’s up to YOU to actually go after it – nobody else is going to give it to you!

The three lessons above are some of the main things I want to pass on to everyone because they’ve come at an important time in my life where I need to start thinking about others instead of only myself. It’s great if we can learn to love ourselves first before anything else, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect everyone around you even though they might be your friends and family members!

If you enjoyed this article on the 3 most important things I learned about personal growth, then please share it with your friends and family! Also, check out my other articles on success & motivation as well as life lessons that could help people who are struggling with their life right now on lifengoal.com. Thanks for reading!

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​​4 Boss Level Growth Strategies That Create an Optimized Life

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Building a business is about more than sales, marketing, and flexing on social media. While those things tend to draw attention, they attract the wrong type of clients and are not how you build a sustainable and freedom-focused business. (more…)

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