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5 Phobias That Are Stifling Your True Potential

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Could there be a reason your idea is still on a back burner? Could it be the same reason we stay at a job until redundancy strikes and forces us into a state of panic?  

The same reason many concepts do not grow as they could over the years. The feeling that is holding many people back from fulfilling their real potential, could be affecting you too.

What could it be? It is a phobia; that emotion that has the habit of popping up when we want to step out of our comfort zone.  

Here are five phobias that are hurting your true potential:

1The fear of failure

A common phobia, I am sure even the most successful people have the same feeling at one point in their lives.

It is natural to want to stay in your comfort zone where everything is almost predictable. However, to be successful you have to push outside of this zone and stretch your faith into the unknown.

The only way you can get over the fear of failure is to face the task squarely in the face and just do it. Watch a baby take his first step, isn’t it amazing how he totters along with faith in his unsteady steps until he finally gets it right? It should be the same thing with you too. You may not get it right the first time, but you will learn valuable lessons along the way that will help you get it right eventually.

Start with baby steps so you can comfortably step into your stretch zone. The best way to conquer your fear of failure is to take action.

“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead-end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” – Denis Waitley

2. The stretch zone phobia

A comfortable position is great and at certain times in our lives, we all crave that warm, cosy feeling knowing that everything is well with the world. Nevertheless, those who excel in their chosen field understand that nothing grows in the comfort zone.

To reach your true potential and do something phenomenal, will require some commitment and a stretch from you. You may have to stay up late, talk to people you prefer not to, make some phone calls or network with strangers to push your idea forward. Seems daunting, yes, but I promise it is always worth it.

 

3. Time phobia

Are you always afraid of time running out, thinking you will never have enough to do all the things you want to do in life?

The problem is usually not lack of time but a lack of scheduled priorities. At any given time in our lives, every task will fight for dominance – this includes sleeping. When we shift our chores around like musical chairs, we end up losing focus and put ourselves under undue pressure.  

Once you accept that you are in control of your time, your schedule becomes yours to manage. You stop allowing people to dump their excesses on you and start taking control of your day.

The choice of what you do every day is yours. If you want to use a portion of your time to grow your passion, passive income streams or business, so be it. Make your schedule work for you and not against you.

 

4. Fear of people’s thoughts

It happens to confident people too, so you are no exception – concern for the thought of what people might think if you take that step. I came to the realization many years ago that there will always be people standing with you and some against you. You cannot allow other people’s thoughts to determine your destiny.

Find clarity for what you want to do with your life before you take action. You can achieve this through coaching, support or talking to friends and family. The ultimate decision of what you want to do must come from your intuition.

 

5. Fear of the future

The future will come to us whether we want it or not. What you should be thinking about is what you want to be doing when it comes. If fear is holding you back from taking a step into a better future, adopt a realistic view of what the delay is costing you now and what it might cost in the future.

“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.” – Dorothy Thompson

The first step to overcoming your phobias is a mindset shift. A change in your mindset will make a remarkable difference to the goals you will achieve in life. If one or more of these phobias plague your life on a consistent basis, it is time to take charge and boot them out.

If you need counselling or coaching, by all means take the opportunity. Take one-step at a time and leave no room for fear to take control of your life.

What is your phobia? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Temi Koleowo is passionate about helping individuals, and businesses alike discover their superpowers (aka their inner strengths and uniqueness) and turn them into viable products and services. She is the author of the book many are raving about ‘Package Your Passion’ – which helps people turn their limitless potential into amazing opportunities. Temi maximizes her strengths by helping people discover, develop and deploy their passion and talent to live their best lives everyday by doing what they love.  You can find out more about her and the program at www.packagemypassion.co.uk.

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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