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Is Resistance Stopping You From Taking Consistent Action?



Is Resistance stopping you from taking consistent action? Here’s how to overcome it:

The inconsistent application of focus and action towards your potential is an issue that many endure. The inconsistency has very little to do with your system of getting things done, and more to do with your limiting psychology – the story you tell yourself on why you can’t achieve your vision.

Steven Pressfield, author of The War of Art, labels this corrosive relic Resistance. It’s a destructive force sewn into your psychology that limits your potential every time you consider the difficult task of getting from where you are to where you want to be.

Why resistance wants to kill you

Resistance will manifest itself in many forms to keep you distracted from focusing and taking action on the work that must be done. The most insidious tool that Resistance will employ is the disempowering story of – you’re not good enough:

  • What’s wrong with you?
  • Why do you have to have that?
  • Why can’t you just settle?
  • Why do you have to do this?

Resistance will continuously replay these disempowering stories until you believe them. Why, because what you focus on consistently you will manifest and Resistance’s goal is not to disable your vision – Resistance wants to kill it.

The good news is that Resistance has no power of its own. Regrettably, you feed Resistance through your fears. Pressfield, explains, ”Master that fear and we conquer Resistance.” Sadly, overcoming Resistance will be an epic battle, you are engaging in a war to the death, and Resistance will maliciously defend its survival.

“Creative work is not a selfish act or a bid for attention on the part of the actor. It’s a gift to the world and every being in it. Don’t cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you’ve got.” – Steven Pressfield

Resistance is the master of illusion

I have been a writer for the better part of my adult life. I have struggled with Resistance in its many forms – self-sabotage, self-deception, and self-corruption. These self-limiting beliefs have lead to a stable state of writer’s block and a diminished psychology of my success.

And because I was infected with the you’re not good enough virus I collapsed into perpetual procrastination. Resistance kept me distracted; it persuaded me to pursue a safer journey, an unremarkably average life. I obeyed. I avoided all opportunities to write. Worse, I allowed procrastination to be my advocate and bad trade-offs to be my default decision.

Jon Acuff, the author of Do-Over, explains, “When that fear comes up, I either hide from all opportunities, paralyzed that I’m going to say or do the wrong thing. Or I say yes to any opportunity that crosses my field of vision. You’ve got a podcast that records at midnight, an audience of mostly relatives, and you want me to record it during my family vacation? Done!”

Resistance has the purest intention to defraud you of your most precious resource, time. So without question you surrender to your familiar time suck habits, doing the same thing in the same way with the same people at the same time and getting the same result.

Acuff continues to explain that, “Regret has a much longer shelf life than fear.” Yes, that is true, but there is also something more treacherous than a much longer shelf life – the holocaust of your unrealized potential.


4 questions that will master your resistance

The mastery of fear is not a paradox the blueprint for overcoming fear lies within your psychology. You must leverage that fear so that it drives the degree of your success. This drive allows you to divorce Resistance’s control and grants you the freedom to pursue your potential. But how?

The strategy is simple – you have to be more afraid of what your life would be like if you don’t take action.

You have to associate more pain with not achieving your potential, than taking action on your potential. Why, because the need to avoid pain is a biological imperative and when presented with two pains – the one that is greater is the pain that determines your actions.

If you can master that principle, you will begin to use effectively fear to manage Resistance. So whatever you want to accomplish in life you need to ask yourself these questions:

  1. What actions do you need to take?
  2. What is the pain you associate for not taking action?
  3. What will it cost you if you don’t change?
  4. What will you gain if you take action now?

So back to the original question – what is stopping you from applying consistent focus and taking consistent action? It’s you.

“Hustle tries. Then it fails. Then it tries again, because of grit, which is simply being brave when you don’t feel like being brave.” – Jon Acuff

More directly your inability to master your fear, and if you never master your fear when you look back on your life, from that comfortable rocking chair, all you will see is the carnage of regret.

How will you master your fear? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Ramon B. Nuez Jr. studies leadership. Ramon interviews leaders across a broad range of disciplines such as CEOs, entrepreneurs, and founders — to uncover what makes them exceptional leaders. Ramon writes about leadership in world famous blogs like the Huffington Post,  Addicted2Success, Lifehack, and Business2Community. He has also been an editor for the World Wide Web Foundation and Crowdsourcing Week. Ramon is working on self-publishing his first book; tentatively titled “The Growth Journal | a notebook for living with impact.” Ramon is endlessly conducting research on entrepreneurship, skill acquisition, productivity, behavioral psychology and leverages the investigation to help high achievers become so valuable that they can’t be ignored. Visit him online at

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The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.



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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.



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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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