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4 Reasons To Let Death Be Your Biggest Motivator

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I don’t know about everyone else, but there seem to be a lot of people around me dying lately. It’s this very idea that has become one of my biggest motivators of late, and it can do the same for you. Death comes when you least expect it, and it’s relentless in the way that it touches our lives.

Recently, one of my work colleagues was sitting down having lunch with his mum. Halfway through the meal, she was talking and couldn’t speak all of a sudden. Within minutes, an ambulance arrived, and within hours, she had passed away. She was perfectly healthy and had no signs of anything like this happening. It was a stroke that tragically ended her life and the life of a grandmother.

A year earlier, the same thing happened to my aunt. She was just going about her day, perfectly healthy, and then in less than twenty-four hours a stroke took her life away. There is no logic to any of these random acts of death, other than one inescapable truth; we all need to come to grips with the fact that life and death go hand in hand.

When death strikes it shouldn’t come as a shock but rather an expectation. It shouldn’t come as a tragedy but rather a celebration. So your thinking to yourself right now in this moment “Tim what’s inspiring about all of this?”

What’s inspiring is that you can let death be your biggest motivator. Here are the four reasons why.

1. It should remind you to live fearlessly and in the moment

We spend a large proportion of our life suffering from fear. In my life, I have feared lots of different things and each time that fear has ended up becoming a triumph. This is why when we look at death we need to live fearlessly. It’s unavoidable, and it happens to all of us.

Death reminds us of the most important rule of meditation: to live in the moment. We can’t control what has already happened or to some degree what may happen in the future (although we can plant seeds now that can allow our future to blossom).

Living in the moment and being grateful for what we do have is what will enable us to live fearlessly. Pretending that death doesn’t exist or that we should fear it in some way will never allow us to be successful. Don’t let the concept of death use you but instead use it to motivate you for the here and now.

2. It should create a sense of urgency

The one piece of motivation we all need is to have more urgency about our lives. Many of us live as if time is irrelevant and that we are immortal. Worse still, we live as though some person in the distant future is going to cure all medical illness and allow us to live forever.

Medicine will continue to evolve in the future, but it will not stop death in any way. Instead, think of death as a way to motivate yourself to get more out of every day. Allow death to make you think about why your energy levels are so important.

“Your energy levels are the multiplier of time” – Tim Denning

The more energy you have, the less you need to sleep and, therefore, the more awake time you will have to work on your dream and crush your goals (such a great motivation).

If you have been thinking about changing jobs or becoming an entrepreneur why wait? Given the two stories I have presented about strokes occurring, what makes you think any of us immune? If anything, the western way of living has made a lot of us have much less time on this earth, not more.

Use death as your motive for action and as a tool that can allow you to impact and inspire others sooner. Don’t focus on it in a negative way but in a way that will empower you to be more and to become who you have always wanted to be.

Stop settling for second best because you may not have the time in your life to ever get what you want. For the younger people out there, enjoy your teenage and early adult life and spend as much time as you can exploring.

Travel to as many destinations as you can and see what real beauty is out in the world. Meet new people from other cultures and see how the poorest parts in the world live. Have more urgency about what you do and don’t forget to live in the moment.

3. It should make you remember to love everyone else and love them why they are here

Too often we forget to love everyone around us and we are too busy judging. Let death be the motivation to connect with more people right now and to love them for who they are. Let death make you forget the differences between our varied cultures and only remind you to love others equally.

The people you currently love should never be taken for granted. At any stage, like with the two stroke victims I mentioned, they could be taken away from you without any chance to say goodbye. Don’t let this make you sad but let it motivate you to love them even more and spend the time you have with them in a meaningful way.

4. It should remind you of your purpose

At each of the recent funerals I have attended, I take careful note as to how the person who has passed is remembered. I let these funerals remind me not to be one of those people that are spoken about for a few hours after they are buried and then quickly forgotten by the majority of attendees.

Instead, I let the funeral and the deceased person remind of my purpose and to reset my motivation each time. It’s so easy to be distracted in life with our newly shortened attention spans. Death can help you refocus on your vision and remember why you do what you do.

It can help you think about what impact you want to have and how you want others to talk about you when you’re gone. On these somber days, all the money or lack of money is forgotten, and no one speaks of such a word. Very quickly, we are reminded just how insignificant money can be in the long term. Just remember that only your impact and influence are eternal.

***Final Thought***

Remember there is only one of you and that each of us is special in our own unique way. I appreciate every one of you coming to Addicted2Success to be inspired and get practical advice. All I ask is that you pay it forward and do the same for others while you’re on this earth.

Be the light in someone else’s day during their darkest moment. Be the smile that may be that spark a homeless person needs to turn their life around. Send chills down people’s spine with your unique craft and creative side.

If you ever want to chat, then you know where to find me. Much love and much respect, and always stay Addicted 2 Success!
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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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