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10 Ways To Become A Millionaire Coach – Scott Harris

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Scott Harris Interview - Tim Denning Addicted2Success

Many of us who are interested in the personal development industry and are entrepreneurial minded, have thought about being a coach. With this in mind, I interviewed Scott Harris, who is a millionaire coach himself and delivers Tony Robbins business mastery courses all over the world.

During the interview, I asked Scott what was one of the things that enabled him to achieve so much success, and his response was “look to be not ordinary, look to be extraordinary!” Seek out extraordinary people and find a way to hang out with them. You can do that through books, seminars and researching them online.

Seek to not be ordinary because there are enough ordinary people

Seek to be extraordinary in your finances and be able to live comfortably

Seek to be extraordinary in your relationships (peer group, partner, siblings)

Seek to be extraordinary in the example you set for other people

Seek to be extraordinary in the difference in your community

Scott started his company Ultimate Coach because there are not a lot of places out there that will hold coaches to a high standard and who can train coaches to be at the elite level.

From Richard Branson to Warren Buffet, to Tony Robbins, to Donald Trump, all of these high achievers share one thing in common; they all think coaching is very important. It’s optional to be successful, but if you want to be successful then having coaching and mentoring is not optional.

 

***The Tony Robbins Connection***

One thing I was keen to understand was how Scott came across Tony Robbins and became involved with his business. He said it all started when his mum stumbled across this thing called personal development and began traveling the world to attend Tony’s seminars, and then returning excited, motivated, using weird language and hugging everyone.

At the age of twenty-five, after seeing his mum change from the seminars, he decided that there was more to life than his luxury house, nice car, good job and successful business (at this time it was the mid ninety’s and Tony was still wearing the dorky suit and had bad hair).

The most dangerous thing that can happen to somebody in their life is that they can get some success, which makes them think they know everything. For the next twelve months Scott attended eighteen of Tony’s seminars – this started his transformation.

Scott Harris & Tony Robbins Addicted2Success - Tim Denning

Left: Scott Harris Right: Tony Robbins

At the time, he didn’t know what his life purpose was going to be but he was very clear on what his life purpose was not. – that’s equally as powerful. Scott says, “never do anything ever again that you don’t love, that doesn’t make your heart sink, even if you are really good at it, and it makes you lots of money.”

About twelve years ago Scott was at one of Tony’s seminars as a helper and trainer when he had a knock on his door one night from one of Tony’s team. They asked Scott if he could fill in for a few hours at 9 am the next day.

Before accepting, Scott was very conscious that the point of going to a personal development event is that it’s called personal development for a reason. With this in mind he agreed, and they handed him a big binder with 300 pages of content to learn.

Luckily for Scott, he was already using Tony’s work in his life and was comfortable in teaching people how to use the skills Tony teaches. The relationship has grown over the years and now Tony is one of Scott’s closest friends, and they even speak on Christmas Day.

Below are the ten ways to become a millionaire coach just like Scott.

 

1. Start with personal congruency

The foundation of being a great coach is having personal congruency. Personal congruency refers to a state in which a person’s values and beliefs are consistent with the way he or she lives their life. So many people in personal development are not congruent.

This is not to be confused with perfection. It’s not about being a millionaire, having 10% body fat, owning twenty properties or having the perfect marriage, but you certainly want to be moving in the direction that makes you proud of who you are.

 

2. Pick up some skills and tools (don’t worry about certificates)

The next step to be a coach is to go and get some skills and tools – these are simple to get. You don’t have to have any formal training to be a coach, and Scott says anybody who thinks you do is an idiot.

The reason is that you can pay for a certification, and then you’re done; that does not mean that you can coach. Formal training to be a coach is not necessarily a bad thing to have, but right now the coaching industry worldwide is an unregulated industry, and any of the formal certifications are actually just internally certified.

It’s kind of like “join our gang and we will certify you.” The proof is that Scott is making a multiple seven-figure income, and he doesn’t have it, and Tony is making a very significant nine-figure income and he doesn’t have it either. Most of the great coaches Scott knows don’t have a certification either.

This is not to say you can’t learn skills and tools from institutions because you can. What you really need though is personal congruency, some skills and tools, and an ability to market and present yourself well to your ideal client, to be able to attract, keep, and service your ideal client.

Scott Harris Coaching Quote

3. Work out how much you can charge

In the beginning, you want to make sure that what you are getting out of the coaching experience is what you need to have – that may not be money. When Scott started twenty years ago he was only getting paid $21 a session.

He was doing 50-60 sessions a week, which was much more valuable to him than the $1000 he was getting. By doing this many sessions, Scott was getting scar tissue, muscle memory, and experiences and references that you can’t get from having five clients a week.

So how much to charge depends on what it is that you want out of the experience. There is no point charging someone $3000 an hour if that means you are only going to have two clients a week. It’s better to have fifty clients paying you fifty dollars than five clients paying you $500. In that first 6-12 months, you want to get references and experiences.

“ Charging is like skiing, if you go skiing for a week and not once do you crash and burn, then you have probably skied too easily. If you ski, and every single day you nearly have a crash and die, then you are probably skiing too hard. The goal of going skiing for a week is to find that sweet spot where you ski comfortably and have a great time, and then occasionally you push yourself so hard that it gets a little hairy. It’s kind of the same as charging, you want to charge not so much that you scare people away, but enough that just a few people are scared away. It’s a bit of a dance, and your fees should always change. “

 

4. Collect money efficiently and always use contracts

The way you collect money from your clients is crucial. The best way is to decide how many months of coaching the client needs (let’s pretend they need six months) and then get the payment up front. The key is always to get the money before you deliver the coaching and to always offer a 100% money-back guarantee – this ensures that you stand by the results you have promised.

If you can’t get the money up front for 3-6 months of coaching, then give people three options to pay you in advance of a session or group of sessions (never offer payment plans). As well as payments you need to also offer a contract to your client otherwise there are no rules to the game (not good).

The contract needs to have the rules of the game, their expectations, and your obligations. Before playing the game of coaching with a client, it’s good to talk about the rules before you begin coaching.

The worst thing that can happen is either their expectations are above and beyond or underneath of what it is that was set. Think of the contract like this with your client; here are the rules of the game, here are the consequences of the game, here are the results of the game, if you want to play the game, here is the fee to play the game.

If they agree with this then great, play the game, but if anything was confusing then start again. Once the rules are agreed between both of you, then you are finally ready to play the game!

 

5. Decide on how much of your time you want to coach

Most people that come to coaching come part time because they are in transition and have come from doing something else, and secondly they come with commitments to other people. Generally there is an uncomfortable phase of transition because you have two plates spinning, your job / business that is no longer serving your needs, and your desire to become a coach.

At the start, it can be a choice if you go part time or full time.

 

6. Choose life coaching or business coaching

The typical person that is suited to business coaching has a strong corporate background of 10-15 years, from a top tier company, and has earned a $400-500k salary each year. Somebody who is a regular person, who has had a regular life, is probably not qualified to be a business, coach.

This doesn’t mean you couldn’t learn the skills and tools, but that becomes an apprenticeship.

 

7. Work out a coaching session structure

The first part of your structure should be the length of coaching. Ideally, no one should be coached for less than 6 months if they want lasting results. The start of coaching someone is the messy bit, where you are finding out who the person is, what makes them tick, and how they got to be where they are.

The next step is to find out where they would like to be next which the client should always decide. In the first 3-6 sessions, it can easily look like you haven’t got anywhere, but what you are really doing is unpacking the box

The middle section of coaching someone is where you are getting clarity on where they want to go to, the quickest ways to get there, and then doing some research on all of this. A typical goal might be that they want to lose 10kg, run a marathon, fix their marriage, make $500k or whatever it happens to be.

The last part of the coaching is a bit like a rocket ship in the sky, all the hard work has been done in the beginning, and the back end is the cruisy bit. It’s about keeping them on track, monitoring, and measuring, and helping them get back on track if they have lost their way.

Some of these later sessions may only last 15-20 minutes because the client might be sophisticated, mature and committed, and they are 6-12 months into their coaching journey. Expect early coaching sessions to last for around 60-75 minutes because you are working out how they got to where they are, and what they really want.

Once you’re passed the early stage of coaching a typical session should last around 30-40 minutes. The frequency of sessions is the other part to determine. Having sessions every week is too much, and then on the other extreme anymore than 10 days apart is not frequent enough.

The other combination that works for session frequency is once a week for three weeks and then one week off. During the week off you might want to include some texts or emails to check in with your client.

 

8. Go and shake some people’s hands (marketing)

If you want to become a coach, which for most people is a very comfortable six figure income, this is not created from Facebook advertising, or a great website, it’s created in the beginning from relationships. Quite simply, relationships are built from shaking people’s hands.

When you are new to coaching, you are being employed by a client because of your personal congruency and relationship with them. When you meet someone at a function, and they ask what do you do, you tell them “I help people just like you, get the best results out of their life.” Their response will usually be “how do you do that?”

From here a conversation starts. Your first $100k, which is your first 5-15 clients, is absolutely coming from the hands that you are shaking and don’t tell yourself you don’t know anyone!

Every single day in your country, somewhere, there is a rotary club meeting, free seminar, conference, business club meeting, bank-sponsored dinner, and political party function – there is always somebody meeting somewhere every day!

You need to go to those places and meet people, shake their hand with congruency, and create relationships with them. That’s how you make your first $100-200k, not from Facebook or ads. From here, you then need to find the right hands to be shaking, for the types of people you want to coach.

It’s like fishing; if you want to catch salmon, you go to where the salmon are hanging out. You need to work out the types of clients you want to coach, and then you go to where they are hanging out. As an example, if you want to coach stressed out mums, then you go to a creche.

Before you have a brand, and before your brand has credibility, all you really have is your own personal congruency and your own personal ability to convince someone that you are going to add value to their lives. That comes from meeting them face-to-face and having a conversation. This doesn’t mean your coaching has to be face to face, and for Scott, none of his coaching is face-to-face.

 

9. Show your client the results

Coaching is about the client setting the standard for what they want to follow and then the coach helping them to hold themselves accountable to that standard. The outcomes have a two-fold result; one is tangible, such as how much money did you make, how many times did you take your wife out, how many kilograms did you lose, etc.

The second is the intangible element to the results, like does your client feel better because they are on track, even though the result –such as losing ten kilograms – hasn’t yet manifested? If the client emotionally feels better, then that’s an intangible result that should be measured.

To uncover the intangible results you need to ask questions about how they are feeling and make sure you check in with them like that regularly. Sometimes people can be moving forward but unless they are checking in, they don’t know they are on track.

Once you have produced the results then you obviously should ask your client for referrals (goes without saying).

 

10. Public speaking will evolve your business further

As your coaching business evolves you can start to reach more people by doing group coaching, online webinars, mentoring and public speaking. The most powerful of these is public speaking, which requires you to be able to speak on camera and on stage.

When I asked Scott what the first step was to public speaking, he gave me this great analogy:

“Practice doesn’t make perfect it makes permanent. What makes perfect is perfect practice. Going out and buying golf clubs, and then going to a golf course, is the most stupid thing someone can do. Unless you have some lessons first, you could be perfecting for six months how to swing the club badly every time – this is not a good outcome and will ensure you give up.”

Once you have the skills, then go practice at Toastmasters, speak at scout halls or church clubs; anywhere that you can get practice and just talk. If you don’t have the skills first, it’s like planting a lemon tree in the ground that’s growing crooked; it’s a lot harder to straighten it up when its grown crooked first.

As you think about your speech, focus on questions like what does the audience need, who are these people, what are their wounds, what are their hopes, what are their fears, what have they come to get, and how do I put my own certainties / doubts aside and show up in a way that serves them?

To be successful at public speaking, you will need to know your content, stories, audience and your outcome. If you know these things, then the path that you use on stage doesn’t need to be a predetermined thing.

You need to have confidence in your skills, tools, and experience and have confidence in your ability to reach deep into your well of stories, metaphors, content, examples, and references. If you have prepared all of these things, then your performance on stage will unfold naturally, and you will be able to adapt to the audience’s needs in real-time.

The final part of public speaking to consider is that you will need to follow a recipe just like a book. There needs to be an opening, some chapters, a few segways, the final penultimate scene, and then a wrap-up. Once you have mastered the recipe, it’s the same formula whether it’s a two-hour talk or a full day talk.

Scott Harris Quote - Addicted2Success

***Final Thought***

The difference between high achievers and ordinary people is a hunger, a thirst, and a quest to be successful or to have knowledge. The hunger is something you either have, or you don’t, but you can cultivate it. Just because you have a lot of money, it does not mean you are successful.

There are millionaires who are fat, and nobody likes them, and they are not successful. Scott says to read a lot and ignore most of the people in your life (parents, teachers, what’s in the paper and TV).

“You can make a million dollars and still be a jerk”

Focus on your health and eat quality food because there are two groups of people; people that die at sixty and people that die at 100. The average is 80, but there are really two groups. Decide which group you want to be in.

“Live deliberately, live on purpose and live like it matters”

If you read this article and have decided to take the next step in becoming a millionaire coach, then sign up for Scott’s Ultimate Coach Course here. 

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared millions of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around personal development and entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net

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7 Comments

7 Comments

  1. James Hurford

    May 18, 2016 at 6:10 am

    Brilliant article. Very honest and open. And most of all, invaluable information for any aspiring life coach. This is a blue-print I can keep referring to as I build up my coaching business. Thank you.

  2. Chris Thompson

    Mar 25, 2016 at 9:38 pm

    A very insightful post. One of the things that struck me, although it wasn’t exactly stated, that it starts by getting out there. You need to work hard and branch out of your comfort zone. Keep up the great work!

  3. Manoj Bhatia

    Mar 7, 2016 at 8:34 am

    This is one of the best articles, the best tip one I thought of all would be building relationships with new people and networking with them. I’m also looking out to start to depend on the pay check and start doing something on my own. This article has given me many new insights on how i can take my website promotion ahead, as I always underestimated personal marketing.

    I also got to learn about 1 more important aspect to getting successful, that you should be a great confident speaker and I’m looking forward to building that skill in me as well.

    Thanks For This Great 10 Tips Tim.

  4. Rose Costas

    Oct 18, 2015 at 10:58 pm

    Thanks Tim for this amazing piece. I have been doing some research on becoming a life Coach to decide if that is the route I want to take and you did a great job of detailing what is required of an awesome Life Coach. i am just starting out but this has gotten me very excited about my new career path and the future after years of working in areas that I hated. Thanks a great deal.

    • Tim Denning

      Oct 19, 2015 at 10:11 am

      No problem Rose glad you learnt a thing or two and best of luck with your coaching business.

  5. Lawrence Berry

    Oct 14, 2015 at 1:53 am

    This was a interesting and detailed article, and I appreciate that you have shared this. I am on my way to becoming a life coach and public speaker, but the starting process can be tough. This article gave me more clarity in how to reach success. I feel that life coaches or coaches in general are passionate about changing lives. I am so passionate about reaching my full potential and I truly want others to do the same because in striving for greatnes and having that hunger for success and knowledge, you find a sense of purpose and happiness. GREAT ARTICLE!

    • Tim Denning

      Oct 15, 2015 at 3:35 am

      Thanks Lawrence. Knowing some of your recent work, I think you would make a great coach. Hopefully these tips will help you further. Check out Scott’s work further he is a master in the field and that’s why Tony Robbins employs him to deliver his business mastery program.

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Success Advice

4 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Quit Your Day Job for Your Creative Ventures

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building a side business
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If you’ve spent anytime online you’ve no doubt come across people like this: “Hi there, I’m Timothy Moneybags and I made a million dollars from my best-selling novel after I quit my job and pursued my dream of becoming a writer!”

While many of these stories are true and can definitely be motivational, this idea that quitting your job is synonymous with finding creative success is just not true. Plenty of people have quit their jobs to become writers and ended up not making a dime, we just don’t hear their stories because they’re probably too embarrassed to share them.

Similarly, stories of people who keep their day jobs, pursue their dreams and find their own personal success don’t seem to be heard as often either for a different reason: It’s not as sexy as someone dropping everything to venture into the unknown.

While it might not sell as well in a Facebook Ad, there are plenty of practical reasons why you should keep your day job if you’re planning on pursuing a creative venture that could replace your income.

Here are 4 reasons why you shouldn’t quit your day job for your creative ventures:

1. Steady Income Means Less Stress

It can be insanely stressful knowing that your creative venture will be 100% responsible for feeding yourself and your family. In a lot of ways, this stress can drain the enjoyment you normally had with your project due to it having to make you money at all costs. Eventually, you’ll find your motivation to try something new becomes stagnant as your fear of disrupting the stability that you’ve built yourself pulls you back to what’s familiar.

If you keep your day job, then you won’t have to worry if your branching out causes your project to fall flat on its face because your bills are already covered. While it’s obviously possible to build something on the side that does sustain you, the idea that you have to quit your job right away, stress out to the point of losing sleep, and then hopefully find success is silly.

You can still work your day job and work on your creative projects at the same time, and keeping a steady source of income will help free you up to explore your passions even if they don’t make you any money.

“There is no downside to a side hustle. There are only benefits to building more than one source of income. A side hustle is the new job security.” – Forbes

2. You Have More Time Than You Think to Hustle

This notion that there isn’t enough time during the day to work on your side project is just not a great excuse. Just ask Gary Vaynerchuk, who systematically has his entire day planned down to the minute. If this man is able to fit an insane amount of time doing what he loves into his schedule every day, you can fit, at minimum, a few minutes in your day to work on your passion.

While, practically speaking, you would have a lot of time in your day if you did quit your job, just look at how you spend the free time that you currently have. Are you pursuing your passion or are you watching Netflix? If you’re like me, you’re probably spending too much time staring at a screen rather than hustling.

If you begin monitoring what you do during your free time, you’ll quickly realize that you do, in fact, have time throughout the week to work on your passion. Over time, you’ll see the time you put into your projects will stack up and you’ll be glad you spent those few hours out of the week working versus watching the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy.

3. You Have a Backup if Things Don’t Work Out

Let’s be frank: your creative venture could completely fail to make you a dime. The question is, will you still have a way to pay the bills if this happens? As mentioned already, having a steady source of income means less stress for you and a safety net in case your passion doesn’t “stick” in the marketplace of ideas.

Your day job, no matter how boring it may be, provides you with necessary stability that a creative venture might not have right away. So, don’t give in to the romantic notion of quitting your job to “pursue your dreams” if you don’t have that stability quite yet unless you’re willing to take this unnecessary risk.

Be practical, and ensure that your bills have a way to be paid and your family has a person at the helm of their future that is both prepared and stable.

“Quitting a job doesn’t jump-start a dream because dreams take planning, purpose and progress to succeed. That stuff has to happen before you quit your day job.”

4. You’re Free to Experiment Without Worrying About Monetization

As Hugh MacLeod puts it in his book “Ignore Everybody: And 39 Other Keys to Creativity”, passion projects should be looked at as a separate thing from your 9-to-5 job. The reason being is there isn’t pressure to perform a certain way in order to make money. Instead, the creative person is free to explore different avenues without fear of their project not putting food on the table.

One could argue that this is also why a lot of musical artists come out with songs that sound almost identical to the last song they made. Since the last song sold very well, and they want to continue making a profit off of their art, they’ll take a sort of “conveyor belt” approach to their music and not deviate from the formula that works for them.

While there are definitely fantastic songs produced this way, there’s a kind of commercialism that stains the once hungry and experimental artist before they began profiting off their art, and one could argue that their art suffers because of it.

If one keeps their income generator separate from the creative venture they enjoy, they’ll find the venture to be more satisfying to the soul rather than their bank account.

The best approach, in my mind, is to take a “come what may” approach with your creative ventures when it comes to making money. If you earn anything from it, that’s great! However, don’t let money be the main focus or your artistic expression could be compromised.

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Success Advice

10 Confronting Reasons Why People Don’t Reach Their Goals

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failing to reach your goals
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What is the incentive for attaining your full potential and realizing your goals? Why do some people seem to achieve more than others despite having the same time and resources availed to them? The devil is in the details, and this is especially true when it comes to accomplishing your goals or not.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re stuck in the same spot for weeks, months or years now and are not accomplishing much; it might be time for you to assess yourself with the following ten truths.

1. You Lack Self-Confidence

One of the biggest reasons why people fail is because they don’t believe in themselves. Belief is actually a trained function, therefore the deeper you condemn yourself to the rut of self-doubt, the harder it is to come out of it. Our past has a lot to do with how we view our own abilities.

Maybe you just landed a new job or transferred to a new school and are now meeting new people who seem much smarter or more accomplished than yourself. It is often said that battles are won long before they are ever fought, and a lack of self-confidence will cause a reverse effect in accomplishing your goals. Don’t doubt yourself and miss a crucial opportunity in the process.

2. You Always Make the Same Mistakes

This is simply about accountability. If, say you were fired from your dream job because of always showing up late and happened to land another job where soon after you began you made the same mistake, you just dig your own grave. The thorough self-assessment is a crucial part of achieving your goals. You won’t get to the gym and achieve success if you are always oversleeping, or overeating. The same applies to any other dream that you may possess, so work hard and do anything that is possible.

3. You’re Averse to Taking Risks

Risk taking isn’t just limited to those who are looking to go into business or for savvy entrepreneurs. It directly applies to every aspect of our daily lives. How many of us keep that 9 to 5 job that we hate only because we are afraid of taking a plunge and following our passions?

There are a million reasons why you shouldn’t take that risk, after all, bills have to be paid, and there’s a 401k to contribute to, right? But there’s one greater reason why you should take that risk: your dreams lie in wait. Start that business, go on that trip or try out that relationship. You never know what tomorrow might bring, so do not hesitate and take risks.

“Most people fail in life not because they aim too high and miss, but because they aim too low and hit.” – Les Brown

4. Unwilling to Let Go of Productivity Killers

One of the ridiculous reasons (but true) why people can’t have what they want is the fact that they can’t let go of habits that take up valuable time. Facebook posts, Insta selfies and a whole lot of Netflix-&-Chill might make the whole day down the drain. A global study conducted by B2X also reports that Millennials are spending more than 25% of their day on smartphones, thoroughly diminishing their productivity and bearing a hindrance on them achieving their goals. So, put aside all of the unneeded and pointless activities – it takes too much time!

5. It’s Just Not as Easy as You Thought

Starting is the most important part, but constantly grinding and working on it is even more important to become successful. We often see the glitz on media with stories of overnight successes and folks who hit the jackpot with their ideas. What we don’t see is the pain, sweat, tears and rejection that took up the biggest chunk of the grind.

If it were that easy, it would be worthless. Along the way, you are bound to feel tired, uninspired, depressed, on the verge of giving up even. However, try to find ways of keeping motivated by learning a new skill, meditating, reading etc. Failure is a critical part of succeeding, and you have to embrace it and learn from it.

6. You’re Not Surrounded with Ambitious People

The people around us have a huge impact on how we utilize our time, how we think and the kind of goals we set for ourselves. Tom Mendoza, a brand contributor on Forbes, tackles this subject well by talking about the key qualities of the company he keeps and how it helps him grow. That old musing about being the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with couldn’t be truer.

7. Folks Who Don’t Reach Their Goals Because They Failed Before

This is probably the biggest reason why people don’t accomplish their goals. According to Fundera, about 20% of businesses fail in the first year. Does this mean the other 80% don’t face the same obstacles or they have a magic formula for victory? No, it just means that they managed to get themselves together and try again. The reason people can’t have everything they want is because they want everything `here and now`, but they don’t realize that failure is imminent and is the only sure road to the victory.

8. You Lack Vision and Never Take Action

Biagio Sciacca tackles the subject of a visionary mindset quite well in his blog article on how the boundaries of manifestation are limited by our own perception. He emphasizes with a personal story how everything that we see and interact with starts with a single idea in mind. A vision is not just a vague wish or some random fairy-tale hope, it is the fuel that drives your passion and every meticulous piece of work that you put in. Goal setting provides the big picture perspective on what and why you are doing something.

“Most people fail, not because of lack of desire, but because of lack of commitment.” – Vince Lombardi

9. Thinking They Lack Enough Time to Achieve Their Goals

A good number of folks don’t believe they can accomplish their dreams with the time they have left. If you’ve watched “The First Grader” you’ll get all the motivation you need. The story of an 84-year-old who goes back to school to attain a life-long desire to be learned is enough to make you think twice about giving up on your own ambitions. So it is never too late to do something you like, give yourself a try.

10. You Will Succeed Only If You Do It This Way

Living by others’ limitations and the boundaries they set for you is one sure way to box yourself in from your goals. You’ll only get more tired, frustrated and demotivated in the long run. People impose their limitations on you because they don’t want you to succeed or because they have fears about their own abilities and personal failures to deal with. Achieving your goals means silencing those critical voices and having faith in your own way of doing it. Your biggest motivation should be to do it for the people who want to see you fail.

In most of the cases, people shield themselves from success. So, don’t let anything hold you back from any goal you’ve ever set for yourself and always try your best.

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Success Advice

Stop Replying To Everyone.

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Many of you are running around like mad trying to manage your time. You’re reading productivity hacks, taking cold showers and waking up at 5 am.

You’re doing all of this because you want more time to do what you love.

Let me hit you in the face with one technique that has allowed me to win back time, so I can do what I love.

Stop replying to everyone…

You get emails asking you to do stuff.
You get asked to do an intro.
You get asked to speak at an event for free about your area of expertise.

Here’s the problem:
YOU KEEP RESPONDING TO EVERY REQUEST OF YOUR TIME.


What’s the answer?

The answer is really simple like everything I write. Are you ready?
Stop replying to everyone.

I learned this technique the hard way. When I was looking to interview entrepreneurs in 2014 about their story and share it in the form of a blog post, I didn’t get many replies.

I’d email very successful people who have achieved the impossible and get nothing.

Radio silence.
Donuts.


Why don’t your idols respond to requests for their time?

There’s many reasons.

  1. They have too many requests and could never humanly answer every single one.
  2. They have limited time and can’t fit everybody into their schedule.

The second reason is the most important. Your idols don’t respond because that’s their way of saying no.


No response is the best response.

By responding to every request of your time, you go down the rabbit hole of endless back and forth conversations.

Let me illustrate this point with a short story.

A US startup approached me on LinkedIn and asked me to advise them on their social media strategy. They offered me equity in return for my expertise.

The product was not something that aligned with who I am, and I was heading off to Europe on holidays and had no time to draft a proper reply.

I sent no response to their request.
They messaged me a second time.
I sent no response to their request.

Then, I got sucked into responding. I felt my moral compass telling me to reply and tell them no. On top of that, the startup had a very well known person in the social media industry join them. FOMO kicked in.

I replied and that’s where everything went wrong.

Once I replied to the request I got daily reminders and emails with pitch decks trying to convince me why they were the one startup who could beat Instagram. The claims of how much traction they had got more and more ridiculous.

“Eventually, a simple request of my time turned into a daily debate”

They wouldn’t leave me alone. I began to regret my stupidity for responding in the first place.

If a request of your time doesn’t resonate with you, and you don’t feel like saying “Fuck Yes” when presented with an opportunity, say NO.

Don’t be tempted by a request of your time. 
Say no.


Not replying is what works.

People generally give up after one email or direct message asking for your time. I’ve tested this theory a lot and it has almost always turned out to be true.

As soon as you reply, you become like a lawyer in the High Court trying to defend someone who is accused of murder. Your time is yours. You only get one life.

“You don’t need to justify yourself, your time, or your goals to anybody”

YOU HEAR ME? NOBODY!

The way you win back time and make room for what’s important to you is to fight the temptation to reply to every request that comes your way.

Quit giving away your time like free balloons at a car expo.


You end up making up lies.

The problem with replying to every request of your time is you can end up making up lies to get out of doing something. Or you may end up exaggerating or putting forward excuses that aren’t entirely true.

This causes even more problems for you because if the requester knows people within your network, they may find out you’re not being honest.

Why construct a grand plan that takes more of your time to respond to a request?

It’s easier to say nothing at all.


Silence says it all.

Smart people who ask you for stuff will know that after a week, if you haven’t responded, you’re probably not interested.

Silence is the best response. After all, if someone really wants you to do something they’ll chase you, they’ll follow you up and they may get a mutual connection to intro them to you.

Many pitches and requests are poorly written or incredibly selfish.

Fight back with silence. Don’t reply. Stop replying.


You’re not missing anything.

The temptation to respond can also be caused by the fear that you’re missing out.

Maybe someone is contacting you to fund your idea.
Maybe something you wrote is going to be published in the New York Times.
Maybe the request will lead you to direct a Hollywood Movie.

All of these false ideas are what’s causing you to respond to everybody.You’re worried you could miss the jackpot or your lucky break.

The harsh truth is that these opportunities are earned through hard work.Genuine opportunities that will excite you are clearly articulated and your gut feeling will guide you better than you think.

You’re not going to miss out on winning an Oscar for a movie you made because you didn’t reply to an email”


Not replying isn’t rude.

We feel we must reply to every request of our time. We have a fear that we will be accused of being rude.

This belief is false also. There’s nothing rude about not replying. We all get lots of emails and messages online and we can’t answer them all. People will understand when you don’t reply. If they don’t understand then that’s a problem with them, not you.

Don’t feel you have to reply out of politeness.

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

Practice These 4 No’s for Greater Success

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how to achieve greater success
Image Credit: Unsplash

In much of the success literature and in the applied motivational literature that is developed today, the explicit suggestions contained within are to practice certain behaviors for a certain outcome. So, you may see information with titles such as, “Do these four things for greater happiness”, or, “Perform the seven steps every morning for more focus”.

Not only am I a large proponent of these quick and distilled attributes of behavior change to bring about greater levels of whatever the outcome should be, I am also an author of a great many of them. The notion of cause and effect is explicit in applied motivation. If you want to change and affect then do not work on the effect directly, work on the cause that will invariably change the outcome.

So many of us try to psychologically bully our conscious mind into various effects, when all we really need to do is understand the causes. Thoughts drive behavior. If you change the thought the behavior must change. But can you increase your level of overall well-being by NOT doing certain things? And I know the answer is yes. It all begins with a shift in our perception and the thought process.

“If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.” – Peace Pilgrim

Here are four NO’s that you may want to stop practicing. And by virtue of not doing these things you will have more mental room, and idea space between your positive notions for greater levels of contentment and well-being.

1. There are no justified discontentment’s

If the laws of cause and effect, and the law of attraction hold true, then we are where we are right now by virtue of our past behaviors, which are a direct result of our past beginning. So don’t be mad over your current situation, you created it! If you want to be happy, change it! But don’t just sit there and bask in your discontentment; bring about the necessary changes that you require.

In the words of James Ray, “a person of power embraces challenges and complete gratitude. No matter the situation life may bring, discontent is never justified, but rather all is experienced as an opportunity and privilege to adventure and grow.”

2. There are no justified excuses

The present is a doorway that balances past events with future circumstances. When we begin to fully grasp the idea that there is no dress rehearsal, we are on Broadway; that there is no scrimmage, today we are in the Super Bowl, we begin to realize that our life is a series of micro adjustments and that we are in total and complete control over them. Instead of wasting time making excuses for poor decisions, spend that time in fine-tuning future decisions to make up for those poor decisions of the past.

3. There are no justified complaints

We complain about a situation for one of two reasons. One, to elicit pity from another and, two, to transfer the issue we are complaining about to somebody else. Either behavior is destructive to the current personal relationship and will only serve to undermine future transactions with that individual.

Be a person of higher self-esteem; handle your issues in silence then speak to another individual about your successful outcomes. By doing so, you have altered your focus on a positive outcome instead of our negative conditions. By the way, there is always a successful outcome! If you can find it, look deeper, it’s there!

“Champions never complain, they are too busy getting better.” – John Wooden

4. There are no justified resentments

None, zip, zilch, zero! That person that borrowed $500 off you and never paid you back, forgive them. That significant other that dropped you like a hot coal just when you needed them the most, forgive them. That business partner that screwed you to the wall and caused you to lose a vast amount of money, forgive them. Remember, forgiveness is not about them, it’s about you. By letting go of the resentments that you have toward other people you open yourself up to the endless possibilities of bountiful manifestations that can occur because of your positive attitude and constructive optimism.

Think of these four big No’s! Number them, with number one being the one which you practice and think about the most. Then answer the following questions:

  • What can I do to alter this behavior and/or thought process?
  • What situations do I encounter and lead me in this behavior and/or thought process?
  • Can I avoid those situations?
  • If so, am I willing to avoid those situations?

Then do that with the second the third and the fourth big No’s. What will happen after enough time is that you will no longer be looking for situations to offend you, rather you will begin to open up to the possibilities of what the world and the universe have to offer you in a positive, enthusiastic, and engaging light.

I look forward to your comments, opinions, and suggestions. Please feel free to write them below.

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21 of Dale Carnegie’s Most Influential Quotes From “How to Win Friends and Influence People”

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Dale Carnegie is the best-selling author of “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” He helped people truly grasp how powerful interpersonal skills and public speaking could be to one’s life. (more…)

Armando Quintana III strives to make every day a novel one by treating his life as one big experiment. He's a published writer, signed model, created an educational non-profit, and worked with multiple start-ups helping them excel in sales and marketing. He can be reached @armandoq3 on Instagram or Facebook.

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7 Comments

7 Comments

  1. James Hurford

    May 18, 2016 at 6:10 am

    Brilliant article. Very honest and open. And most of all, invaluable information for any aspiring life coach. This is a blue-print I can keep referring to as I build up my coaching business. Thank you.

  2. Chris Thompson

    Mar 25, 2016 at 9:38 pm

    A very insightful post. One of the things that struck me, although it wasn’t exactly stated, that it starts by getting out there. You need to work hard and branch out of your comfort zone. Keep up the great work!

  3. Manoj Bhatia

    Mar 7, 2016 at 8:34 am

    This is one of the best articles, the best tip one I thought of all would be building relationships with new people and networking with them. I’m also looking out to start to depend on the pay check and start doing something on my own. This article has given me many new insights on how i can take my website promotion ahead, as I always underestimated personal marketing.

    I also got to learn about 1 more important aspect to getting successful, that you should be a great confident speaker and I’m looking forward to building that skill in me as well.

    Thanks For This Great 10 Tips Tim.

  4. Rose Costas

    Oct 18, 2015 at 10:58 pm

    Thanks Tim for this amazing piece. I have been doing some research on becoming a life Coach to decide if that is the route I want to take and you did a great job of detailing what is required of an awesome Life Coach. i am just starting out but this has gotten me very excited about my new career path and the future after years of working in areas that I hated. Thanks a great deal.

    • Tim Denning

      Oct 19, 2015 at 10:11 am

      No problem Rose glad you learnt a thing or two and best of luck with your coaching business.

  5. Lawrence Berry

    Oct 14, 2015 at 1:53 am

    This was a interesting and detailed article, and I appreciate that you have shared this. I am on my way to becoming a life coach and public speaker, but the starting process can be tough. This article gave me more clarity in how to reach success. I feel that life coaches or coaches in general are passionate about changing lives. I am so passionate about reaching my full potential and I truly want others to do the same because in striving for greatnes and having that hunger for success and knowledge, you find a sense of purpose and happiness. GREAT ARTICLE!

    • Tim Denning

      Oct 15, 2015 at 3:35 am

      Thanks Lawrence. Knowing some of your recent work, I think you would make a great coach. Hopefully these tips will help you further. Check out Scott’s work further he is a master in the field and that’s why Tony Robbins employs him to deliver his business mastery program.

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Success Advice

4 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Quit Your Day Job for Your Creative Ventures

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building a side business
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If you’ve spent anytime online you’ve no doubt come across people like this: “Hi there, I’m Timothy Moneybags and I made a million dollars from my best-selling novel after I quit my job and pursued my dream of becoming a writer!”

While many of these stories are true and can definitely be motivational, this idea that quitting your job is synonymous with finding creative success is just not true. Plenty of people have quit their jobs to become writers and ended up not making a dime, we just don’t hear their stories because they’re probably too embarrassed to share them.

Similarly, stories of people who keep their day jobs, pursue their dreams and find their own personal success don’t seem to be heard as often either for a different reason: It’s not as sexy as someone dropping everything to venture into the unknown.

While it might not sell as well in a Facebook Ad, there are plenty of practical reasons why you should keep your day job if you’re planning on pursuing a creative venture that could replace your income.

Here are 4 reasons why you shouldn’t quit your day job for your creative ventures:

1. Steady Income Means Less Stress

It can be insanely stressful knowing that your creative venture will be 100% responsible for feeding yourself and your family. In a lot of ways, this stress can drain the enjoyment you normally had with your project due to it having to make you money at all costs. Eventually, you’ll find your motivation to try something new becomes stagnant as your fear of disrupting the stability that you’ve built yourself pulls you back to what’s familiar.

If you keep your day job, then you won’t have to worry if your branching out causes your project to fall flat on its face because your bills are already covered. While it’s obviously possible to build something on the side that does sustain you, the idea that you have to quit your job right away, stress out to the point of losing sleep, and then hopefully find success is silly.

You can still work your day job and work on your creative projects at the same time, and keeping a steady source of income will help free you up to explore your passions even if they don’t make you any money.

“There is no downside to a side hustle. There are only benefits to building more than one source of income. A side hustle is the new job security.” – Forbes

2. You Have More Time Than You Think to Hustle

This notion that there isn’t enough time during the day to work on your side project is just not a great excuse. Just ask Gary Vaynerchuk, who systematically has his entire day planned down to the minute. If this man is able to fit an insane amount of time doing what he loves into his schedule every day, you can fit, at minimum, a few minutes in your day to work on your passion.

While, practically speaking, you would have a lot of time in your day if you did quit your job, just look at how you spend the free time that you currently have. Are you pursuing your passion or are you watching Netflix? If you’re like me, you’re probably spending too much time staring at a screen rather than hustling.

If you begin monitoring what you do during your free time, you’ll quickly realize that you do, in fact, have time throughout the week to work on your passion. Over time, you’ll see the time you put into your projects will stack up and you’ll be glad you spent those few hours out of the week working versus watching the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy.

3. You Have a Backup if Things Don’t Work Out

Let’s be frank: your creative venture could completely fail to make you a dime. The question is, will you still have a way to pay the bills if this happens? As mentioned already, having a steady source of income means less stress for you and a safety net in case your passion doesn’t “stick” in the marketplace of ideas.

Your day job, no matter how boring it may be, provides you with necessary stability that a creative venture might not have right away. So, don’t give in to the romantic notion of quitting your job to “pursue your dreams” if you don’t have that stability quite yet unless you’re willing to take this unnecessary risk.

Be practical, and ensure that your bills have a way to be paid and your family has a person at the helm of their future that is both prepared and stable.

“Quitting a job doesn’t jump-start a dream because dreams take planning, purpose and progress to succeed. That stuff has to happen before you quit your day job.”

4. You’re Free to Experiment Without Worrying About Monetization

As Hugh MacLeod puts it in his book “Ignore Everybody: And 39 Other Keys to Creativity”, passion projects should be looked at as a separate thing from your 9-to-5 job. The reason being is there isn’t pressure to perform a certain way in order to make money. Instead, the creative person is free to explore different avenues without fear of their project not putting food on the table.

One could argue that this is also why a lot of musical artists come out with songs that sound almost identical to the last song they made. Since the last song sold very well, and they want to continue making a profit off of their art, they’ll take a sort of “conveyor belt” approach to their music and not deviate from the formula that works for them.

While there are definitely fantastic songs produced this way, there’s a kind of commercialism that stains the once hungry and experimental artist before they began profiting off their art, and one could argue that their art suffers because of it.

If one keeps their income generator separate from the creative venture they enjoy, they’ll find the venture to be more satisfying to the soul rather than their bank account.

The best approach, in my mind, is to take a “come what may” approach with your creative ventures when it comes to making money. If you earn anything from it, that’s great! However, don’t let money be the main focus or your artistic expression could be compromised.

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Success Advice

10 Confronting Reasons Why People Don’t Reach Their Goals

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What is the incentive for attaining your full potential and realizing your goals? Why do some people seem to achieve more than others despite having the same time and resources availed to them? The devil is in the details, and this is especially true when it comes to accomplishing your goals or not.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re stuck in the same spot for weeks, months or years now and are not accomplishing much; it might be time for you to assess yourself with the following ten truths.

1. You Lack Self-Confidence

One of the biggest reasons why people fail is because they don’t believe in themselves. Belief is actually a trained function, therefore the deeper you condemn yourself to the rut of self-doubt, the harder it is to come out of it. Our past has a lot to do with how we view our own abilities.

Maybe you just landed a new job or transferred to a new school and are now meeting new people who seem much smarter or more accomplished than yourself. It is often said that battles are won long before they are ever fought, and a lack of self-confidence will cause a reverse effect in accomplishing your goals. Don’t doubt yourself and miss a crucial opportunity in the process.

2. You Always Make the Same Mistakes

This is simply about accountability. If, say you were fired from your dream job because of always showing up late and happened to land another job where soon after you began you made the same mistake, you just dig your own grave. The thorough self-assessment is a crucial part of achieving your goals. You won’t get to the gym and achieve success if you are always oversleeping, or overeating. The same applies to any other dream that you may possess, so work hard and do anything that is possible.

3. You’re Averse to Taking Risks

Risk taking isn’t just limited to those who are looking to go into business or for savvy entrepreneurs. It directly applies to every aspect of our daily lives. How many of us keep that 9 to 5 job that we hate only because we are afraid of taking a plunge and following our passions?

There are a million reasons why you shouldn’t take that risk, after all, bills have to be paid, and there’s a 401k to contribute to, right? But there’s one greater reason why you should take that risk: your dreams lie in wait. Start that business, go on that trip or try out that relationship. You never know what tomorrow might bring, so do not hesitate and take risks.

“Most people fail in life not because they aim too high and miss, but because they aim too low and hit.” – Les Brown

4. Unwilling to Let Go of Productivity Killers

One of the ridiculous reasons (but true) why people can’t have what they want is the fact that they can’t let go of habits that take up valuable time. Facebook posts, Insta selfies and a whole lot of Netflix-&-Chill might make the whole day down the drain. A global study conducted by B2X also reports that Millennials are spending more than 25% of their day on smartphones, thoroughly diminishing their productivity and bearing a hindrance on them achieving their goals. So, put aside all of the unneeded and pointless activities – it takes too much time!

5. It’s Just Not as Easy as You Thought

Starting is the most important part, but constantly grinding and working on it is even more important to become successful. We often see the glitz on media with stories of overnight successes and folks who hit the jackpot with their ideas. What we don’t see is the pain, sweat, tears and rejection that took up the biggest chunk of the grind.

If it were that easy, it would be worthless. Along the way, you are bound to feel tired, uninspired, depressed, on the verge of giving up even. However, try to find ways of keeping motivated by learning a new skill, meditating, reading etc. Failure is a critical part of succeeding, and you have to embrace it and learn from it.

6. You’re Not Surrounded with Ambitious People

The people around us have a huge impact on how we utilize our time, how we think and the kind of goals we set for ourselves. Tom Mendoza, a brand contributor on Forbes, tackles this subject well by talking about the key qualities of the company he keeps and how it helps him grow. That old musing about being the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with couldn’t be truer.

7. Folks Who Don’t Reach Their Goals Because They Failed Before

This is probably the biggest reason why people don’t accomplish their goals. According to Fundera, about 20% of businesses fail in the first year. Does this mean the other 80% don’t face the same obstacles or they have a magic formula for victory? No, it just means that they managed to get themselves together and try again. The reason people can’t have everything they want is because they want everything `here and now`, but they don’t realize that failure is imminent and is the only sure road to the victory.

8. You Lack Vision and Never Take Action

Biagio Sciacca tackles the subject of a visionary mindset quite well in his blog article on how the boundaries of manifestation are limited by our own perception. He emphasizes with a personal story how everything that we see and interact with starts with a single idea in mind. A vision is not just a vague wish or some random fairy-tale hope, it is the fuel that drives your passion and every meticulous piece of work that you put in. Goal setting provides the big picture perspective on what and why you are doing something.

“Most people fail, not because of lack of desire, but because of lack of commitment.” – Vince Lombardi

9. Thinking They Lack Enough Time to Achieve Their Goals

A good number of folks don’t believe they can accomplish their dreams with the time they have left. If you’ve watched “The First Grader” you’ll get all the motivation you need. The story of an 84-year-old who goes back to school to attain a life-long desire to be learned is enough to make you think twice about giving up on your own ambitions. So it is never too late to do something you like, give yourself a try.

10. You Will Succeed Only If You Do It This Way

Living by others’ limitations and the boundaries they set for you is one sure way to box yourself in from your goals. You’ll only get more tired, frustrated and demotivated in the long run. People impose their limitations on you because they don’t want you to succeed or because they have fears about their own abilities and personal failures to deal with. Achieving your goals means silencing those critical voices and having faith in your own way of doing it. Your biggest motivation should be to do it for the people who want to see you fail.

In most of the cases, people shield themselves from success. So, don’t let anything hold you back from any goal you’ve ever set for yourself and always try your best.

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Success Advice

Stop Replying To Everyone.

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Image Credit: Unsplash

Many of you are running around like mad trying to manage your time. You’re reading productivity hacks, taking cold showers and waking up at 5 am.

You’re doing all of this because you want more time to do what you love.

Let me hit you in the face with one technique that has allowed me to win back time, so I can do what I love.

Stop replying to everyone…

You get emails asking you to do stuff.
You get asked to do an intro.
You get asked to speak at an event for free about your area of expertise.

Here’s the problem:
YOU KEEP RESPONDING TO EVERY REQUEST OF YOUR TIME.


What’s the answer?

The answer is really simple like everything I write. Are you ready?
Stop replying to everyone.

I learned this technique the hard way. When I was looking to interview entrepreneurs in 2014 about their story and share it in the form of a blog post, I didn’t get many replies.

I’d email very successful people who have achieved the impossible and get nothing.

Radio silence.
Donuts.


Why don’t your idols respond to requests for their time?

There’s many reasons.

  1. They have too many requests and could never humanly answer every single one.
  2. They have limited time and can’t fit everybody into their schedule.

The second reason is the most important. Your idols don’t respond because that’s their way of saying no.


No response is the best response.

By responding to every request of your time, you go down the rabbit hole of endless back and forth conversations.

Let me illustrate this point with a short story.

A US startup approached me on LinkedIn and asked me to advise them on their social media strategy. They offered me equity in return for my expertise.

The product was not something that aligned with who I am, and I was heading off to Europe on holidays and had no time to draft a proper reply.

I sent no response to their request.
They messaged me a second time.
I sent no response to their request.

Then, I got sucked into responding. I felt my moral compass telling me to reply and tell them no. On top of that, the startup had a very well known person in the social media industry join them. FOMO kicked in.

I replied and that’s where everything went wrong.

Once I replied to the request I got daily reminders and emails with pitch decks trying to convince me why they were the one startup who could beat Instagram. The claims of how much traction they had got more and more ridiculous.

“Eventually, a simple request of my time turned into a daily debate”

They wouldn’t leave me alone. I began to regret my stupidity for responding in the first place.

If a request of your time doesn’t resonate with you, and you don’t feel like saying “Fuck Yes” when presented with an opportunity, say NO.

Don’t be tempted by a request of your time. 
Say no.


Not replying is what works.

People generally give up after one email or direct message asking for your time. I’ve tested this theory a lot and it has almost always turned out to be true.

As soon as you reply, you become like a lawyer in the High Court trying to defend someone who is accused of murder. Your time is yours. You only get one life.

“You don’t need to justify yourself, your time, or your goals to anybody”

YOU HEAR ME? NOBODY!

The way you win back time and make room for what’s important to you is to fight the temptation to reply to every request that comes your way.

Quit giving away your time like free balloons at a car expo.


You end up making up lies.

The problem with replying to every request of your time is you can end up making up lies to get out of doing something. Or you may end up exaggerating or putting forward excuses that aren’t entirely true.

This causes even more problems for you because if the requester knows people within your network, they may find out you’re not being honest.

Why construct a grand plan that takes more of your time to respond to a request?

It’s easier to say nothing at all.


Silence says it all.

Smart people who ask you for stuff will know that after a week, if you haven’t responded, you’re probably not interested.

Silence is the best response. After all, if someone really wants you to do something they’ll chase you, they’ll follow you up and they may get a mutual connection to intro them to you.

Many pitches and requests are poorly written or incredibly selfish.

Fight back with silence. Don’t reply. Stop replying.


You’re not missing anything.

The temptation to respond can also be caused by the fear that you’re missing out.

Maybe someone is contacting you to fund your idea.
Maybe something you wrote is going to be published in the New York Times.
Maybe the request will lead you to direct a Hollywood Movie.

All of these false ideas are what’s causing you to respond to everybody.You’re worried you could miss the jackpot or your lucky break.

The harsh truth is that these opportunities are earned through hard work.Genuine opportunities that will excite you are clearly articulated and your gut feeling will guide you better than you think.

You’re not going to miss out on winning an Oscar for a movie you made because you didn’t reply to an email”


Not replying isn’t rude.

We feel we must reply to every request of our time. We have a fear that we will be accused of being rude.

This belief is false also. There’s nothing rude about not replying. We all get lots of emails and messages online and we can’t answer them all. People will understand when you don’t reply. If they don’t understand then that’s a problem with them, not you.

Don’t feel you have to reply out of politeness.

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Continue Reading

Success Advice

Practice These 4 No’s for Greater Success

Published

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how to achieve greater success
Image Credit: Unsplash

In much of the success literature and in the applied motivational literature that is developed today, the explicit suggestions contained within are to practice certain behaviors for a certain outcome. So, you may see information with titles such as, “Do these four things for greater happiness”, or, “Perform the seven steps every morning for more focus”.

Not only am I a large proponent of these quick and distilled attributes of behavior change to bring about greater levels of whatever the outcome should be, I am also an author of a great many of them. The notion of cause and effect is explicit in applied motivation. If you want to change and affect then do not work on the effect directly, work on the cause that will invariably change the outcome.

So many of us try to psychologically bully our conscious mind into various effects, when all we really need to do is understand the causes. Thoughts drive behavior. If you change the thought the behavior must change. But can you increase your level of overall well-being by NOT doing certain things? And I know the answer is yes. It all begins with a shift in our perception and the thought process.

“If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.” – Peace Pilgrim

Here are four NO’s that you may want to stop practicing. And by virtue of not doing these things you will have more mental room, and idea space between your positive notions for greater levels of contentment and well-being.

1. There are no justified discontentment’s

If the laws of cause and effect, and the law of attraction hold true, then we are where we are right now by virtue of our past behaviors, which are a direct result of our past beginning. So don’t be mad over your current situation, you created it! If you want to be happy, change it! But don’t just sit there and bask in your discontentment; bring about the necessary changes that you require.

In the words of James Ray, “a person of power embraces challenges and complete gratitude. No matter the situation life may bring, discontent is never justified, but rather all is experienced as an opportunity and privilege to adventure and grow.”

2. There are no justified excuses

The present is a doorway that balances past events with future circumstances. When we begin to fully grasp the idea that there is no dress rehearsal, we are on Broadway; that there is no scrimmage, today we are in the Super Bowl, we begin to realize that our life is a series of micro adjustments and that we are in total and complete control over them. Instead of wasting time making excuses for poor decisions, spend that time in fine-tuning future decisions to make up for those poor decisions of the past.

3. There are no justified complaints

We complain about a situation for one of two reasons. One, to elicit pity from another and, two, to transfer the issue we are complaining about to somebody else. Either behavior is destructive to the current personal relationship and will only serve to undermine future transactions with that individual.

Be a person of higher self-esteem; handle your issues in silence then speak to another individual about your successful outcomes. By doing so, you have altered your focus on a positive outcome instead of our negative conditions. By the way, there is always a successful outcome! If you can find it, look deeper, it’s there!

“Champions never complain, they are too busy getting better.” – John Wooden

4. There are no justified resentments

None, zip, zilch, zero! That person that borrowed $500 off you and never paid you back, forgive them. That significant other that dropped you like a hot coal just when you needed them the most, forgive them. That business partner that screwed you to the wall and caused you to lose a vast amount of money, forgive them. Remember, forgiveness is not about them, it’s about you. By letting go of the resentments that you have toward other people you open yourself up to the endless possibilities of bountiful manifestations that can occur because of your positive attitude and constructive optimism.

Think of these four big No’s! Number them, with number one being the one which you practice and think about the most. Then answer the following questions:

  • What can I do to alter this behavior and/or thought process?
  • What situations do I encounter and lead me in this behavior and/or thought process?
  • Can I avoid those situations?
  • If so, am I willing to avoid those situations?

Then do that with the second the third and the fourth big No’s. What will happen after enough time is that you will no longer be looking for situations to offend you, rather you will begin to open up to the possibilities of what the world and the universe have to offer you in a positive, enthusiastic, and engaging light.

I look forward to your comments, opinions, and suggestions. Please feel free to write them below.

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