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10 Ways To Become A Millionaire Coach – Scott Harris

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Scott Harris Interview - Tim Denning Addicted2Success

Many of us who are interested in the personal development industry and are entrepreneurial minded, have thought about being a coach. With this in mind, I interviewed Scott Harris, who is a millionaire coach himself and delivers Tony Robbins business mastery courses all over the world.

During the interview, I asked Scott what was one of the things that enabled him to achieve so much success, and his response was “look to be not ordinary, look to be extraordinary!” Seek out extraordinary people and find a way to hang out with them. You can do that through books, seminars and researching them online.

Seek to not be ordinary because there are enough ordinary people

Seek to be extraordinary in your finances and be able to live comfortably

Seek to be extraordinary in your relationships (peer group, partner, siblings)

Seek to be extraordinary in the example you set for other people

Seek to be extraordinary in the difference in your community

Scott started his company Ultimate Coach because there are not a lot of places out there that will hold coaches to a high standard and who can train coaches to be at the elite level.

From Richard Branson to Warren Buffet, to Tony Robbins, to Donald Trump, all of these high achievers share one thing in common; they all think coaching is very important. It’s optional to be successful, but if you want to be successful then having coaching and mentoring is not optional.

 

***The Tony Robbins Connection***

One thing I was keen to understand was how Scott came across Tony Robbins and became involved with his business. He said it all started when his mum stumbled across this thing called personal development and began traveling the world to attend Tony’s seminars, and then returning excited, motivated, using weird language and hugging everyone.

At the age of twenty-five, after seeing his mum change from the seminars, he decided that there was more to life than his luxury house, nice car, good job and successful business (at this time it was the mid ninety’s and Tony was still wearing the dorky suit and had bad hair).

The most dangerous thing that can happen to somebody in their life is that they can get some success, which makes them think they know everything. For the next twelve months Scott attended eighteen of Tony’s seminars – this started his transformation.

Scott Harris & Tony Robbins Addicted2Success - Tim Denning

Left: Scott Harris Right: Tony Robbins

At the time, he didn’t know what his life purpose was going to be but he was very clear on what his life purpose was not. – that’s equally as powerful. Scott says, “never do anything ever again that you don’t love, that doesn’t make your heart sink, even if you are really good at it, and it makes you lots of money.”

About twelve years ago Scott was at one of Tony’s seminars as a helper and trainer when he had a knock on his door one night from one of Tony’s team. They asked Scott if he could fill in for a few hours at 9 am the next day.

Before accepting, Scott was very conscious that the point of going to a personal development event is that it’s called personal development for a reason. With this in mind he agreed, and they handed him a big binder with 300 pages of content to learn.

Luckily for Scott, he was already using Tony’s work in his life and was comfortable in teaching people how to use the skills Tony teaches. The relationship has grown over the years and now Tony is one of Scott’s closest friends, and they even speak on Christmas Day.

Below are the ten ways to become a millionaire coach just like Scott.

 

1. Start with personal congruency

The foundation of being a great coach is having personal congruency. Personal congruency refers to a state in which a person’s values and beliefs are consistent with the way he or she lives their life. So many people in personal development are not congruent.

This is not to be confused with perfection. It’s not about being a millionaire, having 10% body fat, owning twenty properties or having the perfect marriage, but you certainly want to be moving in the direction that makes you proud of who you are.

 

2. Pick up some skills and tools (don’t worry about certificates)

The next step to be a coach is to go and get some skills and tools – these are simple to get. You don’t have to have any formal training to be a coach, and Scott says anybody who thinks you do is an idiot.

The reason is that you can pay for a certification, and then you’re done; that does not mean that you can coach. Formal training to be a coach is not necessarily a bad thing to have, but right now the coaching industry worldwide is an unregulated industry, and any of the formal certifications are actually just internally certified.

It’s kind of like “join our gang and we will certify you.” The proof is that Scott is making a multiple seven-figure income, and he doesn’t have it, and Tony is making a very significant nine-figure income and he doesn’t have it either. Most of the great coaches Scott knows don’t have a certification either.

This is not to say you can’t learn skills and tools from institutions because you can. What you really need though is personal congruency, some skills and tools, and an ability to market and present yourself well to your ideal client, to be able to attract, keep, and service your ideal client.

Scott Harris Coaching Quote

3. Work out how much you can charge

In the beginning, you want to make sure that what you are getting out of the coaching experience is what you need to have – that may not be money. When Scott started twenty years ago he was only getting paid $21 a session.

He was doing 50-60 sessions a week, which was much more valuable to him than the $1000 he was getting. By doing this many sessions, Scott was getting scar tissue, muscle memory, and experiences and references that you can’t get from having five clients a week.

So how much to charge depends on what it is that you want out of the experience. There is no point charging someone $3000 an hour if that means you are only going to have two clients a week. It’s better to have fifty clients paying you fifty dollars than five clients paying you $500. In that first 6-12 months, you want to get references and experiences.

“ Charging is like skiing, if you go skiing for a week and not once do you crash and burn, then you have probably skied too easily. If you ski, and every single day you nearly have a crash and die, then you are probably skiing too hard. The goal of going skiing for a week is to find that sweet spot where you ski comfortably and have a great time, and then occasionally you push yourself so hard that it gets a little hairy. It’s kind of the same as charging, you want to charge not so much that you scare people away, but enough that just a few people are scared away. It’s a bit of a dance, and your fees should always change. “

 

4. Collect money efficiently and always use contracts

The way you collect money from your clients is crucial. The best way is to decide how many months of coaching the client needs (let’s pretend they need six months) and then get the payment up front. The key is always to get the money before you deliver the coaching and to always offer a 100% money-back guarantee – this ensures that you stand by the results you have promised.

If you can’t get the money up front for 3-6 months of coaching, then give people three options to pay you in advance of a session or group of sessions (never offer payment plans). As well as payments you need to also offer a contract to your client otherwise there are no rules to the game (not good).

The contract needs to have the rules of the game, their expectations, and your obligations. Before playing the game of coaching with a client, it’s good to talk about the rules before you begin coaching.

The worst thing that can happen is either their expectations are above and beyond or underneath of what it is that was set. Think of the contract like this with your client; here are the rules of the game, here are the consequences of the game, here are the results of the game, if you want to play the game, here is the fee to play the game.

If they agree with this then great, play the game, but if anything was confusing then start again. Once the rules are agreed between both of you, then you are finally ready to play the game!

 

5. Decide on how much of your time you want to coach

Most people that come to coaching come part time because they are in transition and have come from doing something else, and secondly they come with commitments to other people. Generally there is an uncomfortable phase of transition because you have two plates spinning, your job / business that is no longer serving your needs, and your desire to become a coach.

At the start, it can be a choice if you go part time or full time.

 

6. Choose life coaching or business coaching

The typical person that is suited to business coaching has a strong corporate background of 10-15 years, from a top tier company, and has earned a $400-500k salary each year. Somebody who is a regular person, who has had a regular life, is probably not qualified to be a business, coach.

This doesn’t mean you couldn’t learn the skills and tools, but that becomes an apprenticeship.

 

7. Work out a coaching session structure

The first part of your structure should be the length of coaching. Ideally, no one should be coached for less than 6 months if they want lasting results. The start of coaching someone is the messy bit, where you are finding out who the person is, what makes them tick, and how they got to be where they are.

The next step is to find out where they would like to be next which the client should always decide. In the first 3-6 sessions, it can easily look like you haven’t got anywhere, but what you are really doing is unpacking the box

The middle section of coaching someone is where you are getting clarity on where they want to go to, the quickest ways to get there, and then doing some research on all of this. A typical goal might be that they want to lose 10kg, run a marathon, fix their marriage, make $500k or whatever it happens to be.

The last part of the coaching is a bit like a rocket ship in the sky, all the hard work has been done in the beginning, and the back end is the cruisy bit. It’s about keeping them on track, monitoring, and measuring, and helping them get back on track if they have lost their way.

Some of these later sessions may only last 15-20 minutes because the client might be sophisticated, mature and committed, and they are 6-12 months into their coaching journey. Expect early coaching sessions to last for around 60-75 minutes because you are working out how they got to where they are, and what they really want.

Once you’re passed the early stage of coaching a typical session should last around 30-40 minutes. The frequency of sessions is the other part to determine. Having sessions every week is too much, and then on the other extreme anymore than 10 days apart is not frequent enough.

The other combination that works for session frequency is once a week for three weeks and then one week off. During the week off you might want to include some texts or emails to check in with your client.

 

8. Go and shake some people’s hands (marketing)

If you want to become a coach, which for most people is a very comfortable six figure income, this is not created from Facebook advertising, or a great website, it’s created in the beginning from relationships. Quite simply, relationships are built from shaking people’s hands.

When you are new to coaching, you are being employed by a client because of your personal congruency and relationship with them. When you meet someone at a function, and they ask what do you do, you tell them “I help people just like you, get the best results out of their life.” Their response will usually be “how do you do that?”

From here a conversation starts. Your first $100k, which is your first 5-15 clients, is absolutely coming from the hands that you are shaking and don’t tell yourself you don’t know anyone!

Every single day in your country, somewhere, there is a rotary club meeting, free seminar, conference, business club meeting, bank-sponsored dinner, and political party function – there is always somebody meeting somewhere every day!

You need to go to those places and meet people, shake their hand with congruency, and create relationships with them. That’s how you make your first $100-200k, not from Facebook or ads. From here, you then need to find the right hands to be shaking, for the types of people you want to coach.

It’s like fishing; if you want to catch salmon, you go to where the salmon are hanging out. You need to work out the types of clients you want to coach, and then you go to where they are hanging out. As an example, if you want to coach stressed out mums, then you go to a creche.

Before you have a brand, and before your brand has credibility, all you really have is your own personal congruency and your own personal ability to convince someone that you are going to add value to their lives. That comes from meeting them face-to-face and having a conversation. This doesn’t mean your coaching has to be face to face, and for Scott, none of his coaching is face-to-face.

 

9. Show your client the results

Coaching is about the client setting the standard for what they want to follow and then the coach helping them to hold themselves accountable to that standard. The outcomes have a two-fold result; one is tangible, such as how much money did you make, how many times did you take your wife out, how many kilograms did you lose, etc.

The second is the intangible element to the results, like does your client feel better because they are on track, even though the result –such as losing ten kilograms – hasn’t yet manifested? If the client emotionally feels better, then that’s an intangible result that should be measured.

To uncover the intangible results you need to ask questions about how they are feeling and make sure you check in with them like that regularly. Sometimes people can be moving forward but unless they are checking in, they don’t know they are on track.

Once you have produced the results then you obviously should ask your client for referrals (goes without saying).

 

10. Public speaking will evolve your business further

As your coaching business evolves you can start to reach more people by doing group coaching, online webinars, mentoring and public speaking. The most powerful of these is public speaking, which requires you to be able to speak on camera and on stage.

When I asked Scott what the first step was to public speaking, he gave me this great analogy:

“Practice doesn’t make perfect it makes permanent. What makes perfect is perfect practice. Going out and buying golf clubs, and then going to a golf course, is the most stupid thing someone can do. Unless you have some lessons first, you could be perfecting for six months how to swing the club badly every time – this is not a good outcome and will ensure you give up.”

Once you have the skills, then go practice at Toastmasters, speak at scout halls or church clubs; anywhere that you can get practice and just talk. If you don’t have the skills first, it’s like planting a lemon tree in the ground that’s growing crooked; it’s a lot harder to straighten it up when its grown crooked first.

As you think about your speech, focus on questions like what does the audience need, who are these people, what are their wounds, what are their hopes, what are their fears, what have they come to get, and how do I put my own certainties / doubts aside and show up in a way that serves them?

To be successful at public speaking, you will need to know your content, stories, audience and your outcome. If you know these things, then the path that you use on stage doesn’t need to be a predetermined thing.

You need to have confidence in your skills, tools, and experience and have confidence in your ability to reach deep into your well of stories, metaphors, content, examples, and references. If you have prepared all of these things, then your performance on stage will unfold naturally, and you will be able to adapt to the audience’s needs in real-time.

The final part of public speaking to consider is that you will need to follow a recipe just like a book. There needs to be an opening, some chapters, a few segways, the final penultimate scene, and then a wrap-up. Once you have mastered the recipe, it’s the same formula whether it’s a two-hour talk or a full day talk.

Scott Harris Quote - Addicted2Success

***Final Thought***

The difference between high achievers and ordinary people is a hunger, a thirst, and a quest to be successful or to have knowledge. The hunger is something you either have, or you don’t, but you can cultivate it. Just because you have a lot of money, it does not mean you are successful.

There are millionaires who are fat, and nobody likes them, and they are not successful. Scott says to read a lot and ignore most of the people in your life (parents, teachers, what’s in the paper and TV).

“You can make a million dollars and still be a jerk”

Focus on your health and eat quality food because there are two groups of people; people that die at sixty and people that die at 100. The average is 80, but there are really two groups. Decide which group you want to be in.

“Live deliberately, live on purpose and live like it matters”

If you read this article and have decided to take the next step in becoming a millionaire coach, then sign up for Scott’s Ultimate Coach Course here. 

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared hundreds of thousands of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around success, personal development, motivation, and entrepreneurship. During the day Tim works with the most iconic tech companies in the world, as an adviser, to assist them in expanding into Australia. By night, Tim coaches his students on the principles of personal development and the fundamentals of entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net or through his Facebook.

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7 Comments

7 Comments

  1. James Hurford

    May 18, 2016 at 6:10 am

    Brilliant article. Very honest and open. And most of all, invaluable information for any aspiring life coach. This is a blue-print I can keep referring to as I build up my coaching business. Thank you.

  2. Chris Thompson

    Mar 25, 2016 at 9:38 pm

    A very insightful post. One of the things that struck me, although it wasn’t exactly stated, that it starts by getting out there. You need to work hard and branch out of your comfort zone. Keep up the great work!

  3. Manoj Bhatia

    Mar 7, 2016 at 8:34 am

    This is one of the best articles, the best tip one I thought of all would be building relationships with new people and networking with them. I’m also looking out to start to depend on the pay check and start doing something on my own. This article has given me many new insights on how i can take my website promotion ahead, as I always underestimated personal marketing.

    I also got to learn about 1 more important aspect to getting successful, that you should be a great confident speaker and I’m looking forward to building that skill in me as well.

    Thanks For This Great 10 Tips Tim.

  4. Rose Costas

    Oct 18, 2015 at 10:58 pm

    Thanks Tim for this amazing piece. I have been doing some research on becoming a life Coach to decide if that is the route I want to take and you did a great job of detailing what is required of an awesome Life Coach. i am just starting out but this has gotten me very excited about my new career path and the future after years of working in areas that I hated. Thanks a great deal.

    • Tim Denning

      Oct 19, 2015 at 10:11 am

      No problem Rose glad you learnt a thing or two and best of luck with your coaching business.

  5. Lawrence Berry

    Oct 14, 2015 at 1:53 am

    This was a interesting and detailed article, and I appreciate that you have shared this. I am on my way to becoming a life coach and public speaker, but the starting process can be tough. This article gave me more clarity in how to reach success. I feel that life coaches or coaches in general are passionate about changing lives. I am so passionate about reaching my full potential and I truly want others to do the same because in striving for greatnes and having that hunger for success and knowledge, you find a sense of purpose and happiness. GREAT ARTICLE!

    • Tim Denning

      Oct 15, 2015 at 3:35 am

      Thanks Lawrence. Knowing some of your recent work, I think you would make a great coach. Hopefully these tips will help you further. Check out Scott’s work further he is a master in the field and that’s why Tony Robbins employs him to deliver his business mastery program.

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Success Advice

I Can’t Always Be Mr Success And Neither Can You.

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Today I stuffed up big time.

I’ve spent the last five years becoming disciplined and learning every self-improvement hack I could.

I’ve tried very hard not to drink too much alcohol, minimise my sugar intake, reframe from swearing, treat people better, give more to those in need and be an all round good human being.

But today I F*#ked that up. Can you believe it?

Well, you better.

As hard as I try to be successful, there are going to be times when I mess up. Today was the day I was put to the test.

So today we had a function for work, and we went to a secluded island to sit back, relax, and let our hair down. We had to board a ferry to the island and there was a long line of people. Our group was at the front because we had waited for the longest.

When we finally got to the front, a young lady attempted to push in. Without thinking, my friend and I prevented the cue-cutting attempt. What happened next shocked me. This lady then began dishing out all sorts of insults.

She made fun of the way I looked, accused me of being such a low life that I must be single, had a crack at my financial position and everything under the sun. I managed to reframe from overreacting until I let one insult slip.

That insult is what surprised me. I’ve tried so much to be well behaved and then in the heat of the moment I broke the promise to myself.

 

It’s normal to mess up.

Okay, so I’ve been well-behaved for quite a while and you probably have to. It’s not the end of the world when you fall back into your old ways for a brief moment. The key is to acknowledge when you’ve returned to an old pattern and stop yourself.

The moment I let out that inappropriate insult, I knew I’d stepped over the line. It didn’t feel good. I felt guilty. I wanted to take it back but couldn’t because the young woman had left.

“If you try and cruise through life, and never break your commitments, you’ll fail and hate yourself”

There needs to be some room for stuff ups. You have to be okay with being imperfect once in a while.

 

The idea is to outweigh the bad.

What I mean by this is that you need to aim for 51% or more of quality habits, conversations, gestures, etc. The more you tip the scales over to the good side, the less you’ll be tempted to fall back to your old ways.

 

Shooting your mouth off like I did is only a temporary blemish.

You can come back from it and it all starts with taking ownership. Being in denial or acting like you did nothing is not okay. Being a leader and admitting the error in your ways takes guts and that will lead you towards success in the long run.

“Don’t let a brief moment of madness ruin all the progress you’ve made”

Make your temporary mishaps parts of the self-improvement process and use them as a lesson. Experience the regret that comes with being out of alignment with your true self.

This personal incongruency is the motivation you need to stand true to your commitments.

 

Sometimes we all need a reminder.

Otherwise, we forget the life we’ve left behind and it becomes far to easy to lose the plot and rack up a scorecard of negative activities. That slap in the face that you get when you go back to the past and reunite with your addictions and temptations is exactly what you need.

Reconnecting with the past gives you perspective. It also shows you how far you’ve come. The moment your personal progress is under threat, you’ll be surprised how quickly your mind puts you back on the path you were on.

 

It always starts with trying to be right.

Falling back to your old ways always starts with trying to be right. It’s because we all secretly hold rules of how life is supposed to be and when someone violates that rule, we risk going back to our former self. You can’t always be right so stop pretending you can be.

Don’t let trying to be right all the time stand in the way of all the progress you have made. I know it sucks when someone does something that violates what you believe but think before you take action. There are times when you should stand up and there are other times (like my recent encounter) when you should just reframe from going down the rabbit hole of rules you wished people would live by.

 

The truth is we all stuff up.

Even your favorite pop star Katy Perry loses her mind once in a while. That’s right I saw when she was interviewed by a therapist and she had a brief moment of huge failure, embarrassment, and dirty laundry aired on TV. It’s okay.

Once you understand that there are times you are going to do the opposite of what your goals say, and that’s cool, you’ll live a much more relaxed life.

 

Try forgiveness.

This is what I tried after the mishap on the ferry. I permitted myself to mess up. I told myself I was sorry and committed to making up for what I’d done. The most difficult person to forgive is yourself a lot of the time and that’s who needs it the most.

Don’t just try and be kind to others; be kind to yourself too. If you forgive yourself more often when things go wrong, you’ll discover what it’s like to take failure and disappointment by the curly ones and own your life.

 

Life is about owning your successes and your mishaps.

The mishaps lead to your success, eventually.

Never forget that. I’m not successful 24/7 and neither are you.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

The Three Fundamental Principles of Achievement

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achievement

I’m all about keeping things simple. The world is much too complex and I find that much like Vince Lombardi, we tend to complicate things. If we just focus on truly mastering the basics, we can achieve whatever we set our hearts and minds to. One of my favorite stories comes from Coach Lombardi’s best-selling book.

“He took nothing for granted. He began a tradition of starting from scratch, assuming that the players were blank slates who carried over no knowledge from the year before… He began with the most elemental statement of all. “Gentlemen,” he said, holding a pigskin in his right hand, “this is a football.”

It is the summer of 1961, and he begins training by introducing a “football” to a bunch of men who had been playing football for years, perhaps well over a decade. Was this Insulting? No, because the players obviously knew what a football was. Nonetheless, from day one Vince Lombardi was teaching them the basics. This was the secret of one of the winningest coaches in the history of football because the basic, fundamental principles never fail.

When you build a wall, the basic element is a single brick. Put enough of them together, in the right pattern and you have your wall. Concert pianists use only eight keys to create the world’s greatest masterpieces. They don’t try to come up with new notes. They work with what they have.

As fortune would have it, there are basic principles of achievement that when mastered, create success. It’s a formula you can count on, which is as predictable as the sunrise. Success doesn’t care how old you are, how much money you have or haven’t earned in the past. It doesn’t give a hoot about your skin color, background or where you grew up. Regardless of who you are, success is achieved when the basics are mastered.

Here are three of the most fundamental principles of achievement:

1. High-achievers take action

With a ready-fire-aim mentality, nothing beats taking action. You could pull out a great book about success and learn from the greats, but there is no better teacher than experience, which comes only from taking action.

The dangerous thing about the internet is the overabundance of information as we’re still a little unsure of how to handle it. Because of all this new information, many entrepreneurs can easily get caught in a comfort zone of learning because it makes them feel like they’re doing something when they’re not sure what else to do or they’re afraid to take action. By reading another book or listening to one more podcast, they delay action and don’t have to feel guilty.

Others spend too much time making a decision. They worry about making the “right” decision. A mentor of mine taught me that it’s far more powerful to “make a decision, and then make it right.” If you find out it’s wrong, make a new decision, pivot quickly and take new action. Whatever you do, avoid getting caught up in analysis paralysis. Action is the cure.

“The path to success is to take massive, determined actions.” – Tony Robbins

2. Consistent action breeds momentum

Momentum is the mitochondria of the cell; the powerhouse. When you have momentum on your side, several benefits kick in. For example, challenges shrink from overwhelming obstacles to small speed bumps and you will tend to make decisions quickly. Small annoyances become meaningless as momentum serendipitously brings with it a cousin named “confidence.”

Think back to the last time you made a lane change while driving. It was easy; you glanced over your shoulder (hopefully) to make sure there was adequate space, put on your blinker and drove into the other lane.

Compare that with your lane getting caught in a standstill. The lane next to you is cruising along, must be an accident up ahead. Naturally, you want to make the same maneuver- a lane change. You look over your shoulder and…wait. You wait for a gap sufficiently large enough to allow you to jump into the lane and speed up without cutting off oncoming traffic.

Granted, some drivers don’t seem to care much about that (ask me how I know), but you get the idea. Momentum is a mindset game changer. When you have it, everything seems easier because everything is “going your way.”

3. Habit takes over and rules it all

Once you are consistently taking action, and you’re having fun because of all this newfound momentum on your side, you’re likely to repeat it and form a habit. Firstly, this happens mentally and then physically. Mentally, a habit is a new way of thinking about things, because your expectations change. Without realizing, you begin “looking” for good things to happen because you just know they will. You become an optimist.

Your habits are the backbone to your success. Once you start the mental habit of thinking like a successful person and you start doing the things successful people do every day, your life changes. Success is inevitable. It’s the law of the harvest- you reap what you sow. Plant good seeds in the spring, water them all summer and fall will produce.

“Winners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations in advance of the event.” – Brian Tracy

If you aren’t where you want to be in life, take a deeper look and you’ll notice a breakdown somewhere along the way. Be honest in your self-diagnosis and admit when you’re off track. Allow for mistakes, because perfectionism is one of the great plagues prevalent in our society.

So now that you’ve read this blog, stop learning and start earning. Get up and take action- start the cycle and see how it changes your life.

Which one of these principles will help you most this year? Let us know in the comments below!

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Success Advice

My Giant Imaginary Billboard Would Say This: The Stories You Tell Yourself Come True.

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We’ve all played the game where we try to think of a message we’d put on a metaphorical billboard that costs us nothing.

The point of the exercise is to try and find out what one message you would share with the world that could change the game for all of us.

I racked my brain trying to think of mine. There are so many messages I want to share. Finally, I figured out what mine would be.

The message I would put on a giant billboard is:

“The stories you tell yourself come true”

 

The stories you tell yourself.

The reason I chose this powerful message is that it’s the one thing that has changed the course of my life. When I began telling myself a new story, everything around me appeared differently. I genuinely believe that I am going to change the world in a big way and create positivity.

You have a recurring story running through your own brain that you’re probably unaware of. The story might be one like this:

– Life is hard, so I better relax tonight.
– I need to make more money so life will get easier.
– Why do these disasters always happen to me?
– Why is it so hard to make a living?
– Why can’t I find my passion like everyone else?

These stories are all built on a lie. These stories focus on inaction and that will get you nowhere.

 

The stories you tell start with a question.

To improve your story, you first need to start by asking better questions. Questions that limit you will destroy your success. I’ve found the best questions to ask yourself have the following elements:

– They’re big and audacious
– They mention the phrase “Changing the world”
– They’re open-ended
– They assume the best, not the worst
– They’re not of a selfish nature

Write down some questions that will help you create a new story for your life.

 

You’re going to be repeating this story a lot so it might as well be good.

These stories play over and over in our head every day. You might as well have a story that’s interesting and makes you feel good don’t you think?

I don’t want to hear nonsense playing in my head on repeat. There’s enough of that in day-to-day life already.

That’s why my story says the following:

– I will inspire millions of people
– I will be healthy so I can have energy to do what I love
– I will have a life full of challenges and no matter what I’ll find the positive
– I will be fearful and that means I’m excited
– I will help others because that’s the true wisdom of life

 

What you tell yourself over and over becomes your reality.

Your life becomes what you tell yourself over and over. Change that pattern and insert a new story, and if you’re patient enough, you’ll become that new story.

Not overnight. Not in 60 seconds. In a few years probably.

So tell yourself things that are going to inspire you to do the extraordinary. Don’t fill your head with deadbeat ideas like “I’m not enough.”

You are bloody enough and you can be a bloody ripper of a person if you put your mind to it and tell yourself clever things.

The whole “Life Hacking” sport has become everybody’s favorite TV station. The thing is you don’t need to hack anything if you tell yourself the right stories.

 

Translation of “The Stories You Tell Yourself”

This line is a bit hocus pocus when I think about it. If I were to transcribe this phrase, I’d say that the stories you tell yourself stem from one idea: YOU MUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

All the stories I just shared with you that I tell myself are stories of believing in what I can achieve. If you don’t believe in yourself then how can you expect anyone else to take a chance on you? There are so many distractions nowadays so for anyone to give you their attention, they have to believe it’s going to be worth it.

Believing in yourself is centered around one idea: You’re going to back yourself even though you don’t know the outcome or the steps you necessarily need to move forward.

Believing in yourself is a belief in the reality of uncertainty.

Uncertainty takes courage and that means crushing fear. All of these fundamentals of life that I’m sharing are not new things that you’ve never heard. These pillars of life are interconnected.

“When you fall in love with uncertainty, you tell yourself that you’re confident, strong and can deal with obstacles. This creates a fortress around your mind that protects you from outside, negative forces, telling you a different story. It’s how you avoid the opinions of others and back yourself”

 

5 years ago…..

I told myself a story that I was going to crush my ridiculous fears and become somebody who focuses on the “doing” and spreading positivity.

That new story seemed so stupid at the time because of where I was but none the less I believed it. It then took everything I had to make it come true. I never let challenges bring me away from that storyline and I kept it front and center.

People told me I wasn’t good enough, rich enough, smart enough, experienced enough and I decided to tell myself the story that “Yes I am and I won’t be stopped from achieving my goal.”

I’ve told this story so many times since then that now the majority of my network and colleagues believe it. It’s no longer an idea. It’s now a reality.

“The stories you tell yourself do come true and I’m living proof of that”

 

Commit to a new story.

I never write any blog post without insisting on one action from you. The action for you right now is to commit to a new story. Sign up for a new story and put all your poker chips on the line. Throw away that old story that told you that you weren’t good enough.

Create a new story that supports the person you want to become and the goals you want to achieve. The last step is this: Tell that new story to yourself every single day and believe every word.

The stories you tell yourself do come true and that’s what I would put on a giant billboard if I were given access to one. Much respect.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

I’ll Tell You How To Be Confident Without The Self-Help BS: You Just Do It.

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One of the most popular topics on blogs right now is content about how to have more confidence. It’s driving me bonkers! I’m unsure what the fascination is with the subject.

Having gone through the whole confidence battle myself and come out the other side on top, I think I can share a few things that will help everybody.

 

Act as if.

Rather than be caught up in the foreplay of overthinking, considering and asking too many questions, just do.

“Quite simply, what has worked for me is to just get on with the task and tell myself I’m becoming an expert while being in motion”

Getting going is the part we’re all missing when it comes to confidence. You can’t be confident unless you get some experience at whatever you want to be confident at. This advice sounds simplistic because it is.

I’ve become more confident over the last five years by running up miles in the beaten-up VW Beetle that was my mind and body. Through gaining experience, I turned that VW Beetle into a Lamborghini by trying things and executing.

There’s no pretending when it comes to confidence. You only start to believe you are confident when you begin taking action. I could probably wrap it up right there and you’d be done when it comes to confidence. No more self-help secrets and private masterminds are required.

Act as if you are already confident and your mind will believe you. Your mind only believes what you tell it. Tell your mind you are confident and you will gain more confidence in the execution. That extraordinary mind will then do as you tell it.

 

Sit up and stand up straight soldier!

I always believed this one was total hocus pocus or maybe even a Jedi Mind Trick. It’s not. Confidence is also in the way you move. People feel confidence in you through your presence. If you need to perform at 110% in say a speech as an example, you have to stand up straight and physically be confident.

Now this is harder than it looks so here’s what I did: I stood on the stage with my back straight. I then rolled my shoulders back and poked my chest out slightly. Each movement on stage was acted out as if I was Arnold Schwarzenegger posing for the Mr Olympia Final (that’s hard as I look nothing like him but stay with me peeps).

Simply having a confident physical presence allowed the audience to be confident with the words and advice I was delivering. Even if each point I presented was not completely thought through, the effect was still the same. I came across as confident.

So, next time you want to be confident, try this out for yourself. Pick your own hero who’s oozing confidence, to be the person you imagine when you go into your confident pose. No matter how ridiculous this seems, it works. Don’t question, just do.

 

Self-talk is key: three words to confidence.

Okay, let’s not overdo this confidence lesson. The self-talk in my head when I need to be confident is very dumb and easy to copy. The three words I use are:

“You got this!”

Say those three words whenever you need to be confident. Say them over and over until they drown out your negative inner voice that wants to doubt your ability.

“Doubt is the disease that sabotages your confidence”

I had no idea about blogging as an example. I just believed I’d find a way and I did. My doubting brain told me that I was hopeless at English and couldn’t master grammar to save my life. That aside, I just used these three words to silence the inner critic.

Your inner critic is only right if you let it be. Back yourself. Talk to yourself like a winner (not a loser) and you’ll have more confidence. No need to buy that book on confidence anymore. No need to read another self-help, pump up blog post that gets you all warm and sweaty.

 

Disconnect from the outcome.

Confidence is about putting the outcome aside. Everything you do is a lesson and will give you confidence. Being tied to the idea of what the outcome looks like allows your doubting mind and your inner critic to come back to the main stage of your attention.

Where your energy flows to, is where your focus goes. Focusing on anything other than being confident about your daily battles will give you the results you hate. Nine times out of ten you can’t control the outcome anyway.

So focusing on doing your best and being confident will take you so much further. Like I keep saying “You got this!”

Swag it out like whatever outcome you achieve is phenomenal because you are incredible for waking up each day and just giving it a crack!

 

Say yes and learn later.

Confidence comes from saying yes and deciding to figure out the strategy later. If an offer or idea resonates with you, then say yes. You’ll find yourself gaining more experience by doing so. My superman complex used to make me carefully think about each offer I was presented with to assess whether I had the skills and capability.

Now I choose offers and proposals that bring me joy instead, and I use my newfound confidence to say yes, and know that I’ll learn what I need to execute properly along the way. Failing that, there’s someone I know in my network that can fill any blanks in regardless so I’m very unlikely to fail.

BUT even if I fail it’s all good because I still learned heaps, got experience and had fun in the meantime. All of which made me more confident. Confidence is unstoppable when it starts to compound through experience and taking action.

 

Remember that all of us have no idea including me.

This was something I learned through a podcast. If you look at your heroes and get to know them as friends, you’ll quickly realize, like I did with my own heroes, that they have no idea. Your heroes just act as if and see what sticks.

When approaching any goal with this in mind, you find an inner confidence to have a go and see what happens.

“When you realize we’re all flawed, it sets you free to try stuff and execute on a few wild goals that you may not succeed at”

I have no clue about most things and that’s where the beauty lies. Stop idolizing and be confident in your ability to get sh*t done.

 

We’re all extraordinary when we believe we are.

Belief in yourself is key to having confidence. The truth is that all of us can be extraordinary no matter where we come from, our nationality, the struggles we’ve gone through, what books we’ve read or who our current friends are.

The opportunity to be extraordinary exists for all of us. Let this very idea give you the confidence you need to change the world because you can.

You don’t need more self-help articles on confidence: You need to understand you’re already extraordinary.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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7 Awesome Tips for Entrepreneurs to Create an Inspiring Vision Board

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creating a vision board

Vision boards are one of the most powerful success tools that can do wonders to inspire and motivate you, and put you in the right frame of mind. Whether you use them for your business or personal life, creating and using a vision board also adds a bit of fun to your routine, while activating the Law of Attraction and drawing your wants and desires into your life! (more…)

As Chief operations officer, Chief product officer and Scrum Product Owner, Sébastien Boyer is the mastermind behind Nutcache. He is a certified Professional Scrum Product Owner with over 20 years experience in project management in the software industry. His project related articles have been published on several major websites and blogs such as tech.co, smallbiztrends.com, business.com and many others.

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7 Comments

7 Comments

  1. James Hurford

    May 18, 2016 at 6:10 am

    Brilliant article. Very honest and open. And most of all, invaluable information for any aspiring life coach. This is a blue-print I can keep referring to as I build up my coaching business. Thank you.

  2. Chris Thompson

    Mar 25, 2016 at 9:38 pm

    A very insightful post. One of the things that struck me, although it wasn’t exactly stated, that it starts by getting out there. You need to work hard and branch out of your comfort zone. Keep up the great work!

  3. Manoj Bhatia

    Mar 7, 2016 at 8:34 am

    This is one of the best articles, the best tip one I thought of all would be building relationships with new people and networking with them. I’m also looking out to start to depend on the pay check and start doing something on my own. This article has given me many new insights on how i can take my website promotion ahead, as I always underestimated personal marketing.

    I also got to learn about 1 more important aspect to getting successful, that you should be a great confident speaker and I’m looking forward to building that skill in me as well.

    Thanks For This Great 10 Tips Tim.

  4. Rose Costas

    Oct 18, 2015 at 10:58 pm

    Thanks Tim for this amazing piece. I have been doing some research on becoming a life Coach to decide if that is the route I want to take and you did a great job of detailing what is required of an awesome Life Coach. i am just starting out but this has gotten me very excited about my new career path and the future after years of working in areas that I hated. Thanks a great deal.

    • Tim Denning

      Oct 19, 2015 at 10:11 am

      No problem Rose glad you learnt a thing or two and best of luck with your coaching business.

  5. Lawrence Berry

    Oct 14, 2015 at 1:53 am

    This was a interesting and detailed article, and I appreciate that you have shared this. I am on my way to becoming a life coach and public speaker, but the starting process can be tough. This article gave me more clarity in how to reach success. I feel that life coaches or coaches in general are passionate about changing lives. I am so passionate about reaching my full potential and I truly want others to do the same because in striving for greatnes and having that hunger for success and knowledge, you find a sense of purpose and happiness. GREAT ARTICLE!

    • Tim Denning

      Oct 15, 2015 at 3:35 am

      Thanks Lawrence. Knowing some of your recent work, I think you would make a great coach. Hopefully these tips will help you further. Check out Scott’s work further he is a master in the field and that’s why Tony Robbins employs him to deliver his business mastery program.

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Success Advice

I Can’t Always Be Mr Success And Neither Can You.

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Today I stuffed up big time.

I’ve spent the last five years becoming disciplined and learning every self-improvement hack I could.

I’ve tried very hard not to drink too much alcohol, minimise my sugar intake, reframe from swearing, treat people better, give more to those in need and be an all round good human being.

But today I F*#ked that up. Can you believe it?

Well, you better.

As hard as I try to be successful, there are going to be times when I mess up. Today was the day I was put to the test.

So today we had a function for work, and we went to a secluded island to sit back, relax, and let our hair down. We had to board a ferry to the island and there was a long line of people. Our group was at the front because we had waited for the longest.

When we finally got to the front, a young lady attempted to push in. Without thinking, my friend and I prevented the cue-cutting attempt. What happened next shocked me. This lady then began dishing out all sorts of insults.

She made fun of the way I looked, accused me of being such a low life that I must be single, had a crack at my financial position and everything under the sun. I managed to reframe from overreacting until I let one insult slip.

That insult is what surprised me. I’ve tried so much to be well behaved and then in the heat of the moment I broke the promise to myself.

 

It’s normal to mess up.

Okay, so I’ve been well-behaved for quite a while and you probably have to. It’s not the end of the world when you fall back into your old ways for a brief moment. The key is to acknowledge when you’ve returned to an old pattern and stop yourself.

The moment I let out that inappropriate insult, I knew I’d stepped over the line. It didn’t feel good. I felt guilty. I wanted to take it back but couldn’t because the young woman had left.

“If you try and cruise through life, and never break your commitments, you’ll fail and hate yourself”

There needs to be some room for stuff ups. You have to be okay with being imperfect once in a while.

 

The idea is to outweigh the bad.

What I mean by this is that you need to aim for 51% or more of quality habits, conversations, gestures, etc. The more you tip the scales over to the good side, the less you’ll be tempted to fall back to your old ways.

 

Shooting your mouth off like I did is only a temporary blemish.

You can come back from it and it all starts with taking ownership. Being in denial or acting like you did nothing is not okay. Being a leader and admitting the error in your ways takes guts and that will lead you towards success in the long run.

“Don’t let a brief moment of madness ruin all the progress you’ve made”

Make your temporary mishaps parts of the self-improvement process and use them as a lesson. Experience the regret that comes with being out of alignment with your true self.

This personal incongruency is the motivation you need to stand true to your commitments.

 

Sometimes we all need a reminder.

Otherwise, we forget the life we’ve left behind and it becomes far to easy to lose the plot and rack up a scorecard of negative activities. That slap in the face that you get when you go back to the past and reunite with your addictions and temptations is exactly what you need.

Reconnecting with the past gives you perspective. It also shows you how far you’ve come. The moment your personal progress is under threat, you’ll be surprised how quickly your mind puts you back on the path you were on.

 

It always starts with trying to be right.

Falling back to your old ways always starts with trying to be right. It’s because we all secretly hold rules of how life is supposed to be and when someone violates that rule, we risk going back to our former self. You can’t always be right so stop pretending you can be.

Don’t let trying to be right all the time stand in the way of all the progress you have made. I know it sucks when someone does something that violates what you believe but think before you take action. There are times when you should stand up and there are other times (like my recent encounter) when you should just reframe from going down the rabbit hole of rules you wished people would live by.

 

The truth is we all stuff up.

Even your favorite pop star Katy Perry loses her mind once in a while. That’s right I saw when she was interviewed by a therapist and she had a brief moment of huge failure, embarrassment, and dirty laundry aired on TV. It’s okay.

Once you understand that there are times you are going to do the opposite of what your goals say, and that’s cool, you’ll live a much more relaxed life.

 

Try forgiveness.

This is what I tried after the mishap on the ferry. I permitted myself to mess up. I told myself I was sorry and committed to making up for what I’d done. The most difficult person to forgive is yourself a lot of the time and that’s who needs it the most.

Don’t just try and be kind to others; be kind to yourself too. If you forgive yourself more often when things go wrong, you’ll discover what it’s like to take failure and disappointment by the curly ones and own your life.

 

Life is about owning your successes and your mishaps.

The mishaps lead to your success, eventually.

Never forget that. I’m not successful 24/7 and neither are you.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

The Three Fundamental Principles of Achievement

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I’m all about keeping things simple. The world is much too complex and I find that much like Vince Lombardi, we tend to complicate things. If we just focus on truly mastering the basics, we can achieve whatever we set our hearts and minds to. One of my favorite stories comes from Coach Lombardi’s best-selling book.

“He took nothing for granted. He began a tradition of starting from scratch, assuming that the players were blank slates who carried over no knowledge from the year before… He began with the most elemental statement of all. “Gentlemen,” he said, holding a pigskin in his right hand, “this is a football.”

It is the summer of 1961, and he begins training by introducing a “football” to a bunch of men who had been playing football for years, perhaps well over a decade. Was this Insulting? No, because the players obviously knew what a football was. Nonetheless, from day one Vince Lombardi was teaching them the basics. This was the secret of one of the winningest coaches in the history of football because the basic, fundamental principles never fail.

When you build a wall, the basic element is a single brick. Put enough of them together, in the right pattern and you have your wall. Concert pianists use only eight keys to create the world’s greatest masterpieces. They don’t try to come up with new notes. They work with what they have.

As fortune would have it, there are basic principles of achievement that when mastered, create success. It’s a formula you can count on, which is as predictable as the sunrise. Success doesn’t care how old you are, how much money you have or haven’t earned in the past. It doesn’t give a hoot about your skin color, background or where you grew up. Regardless of who you are, success is achieved when the basics are mastered.

Here are three of the most fundamental principles of achievement:

1. High-achievers take action

With a ready-fire-aim mentality, nothing beats taking action. You could pull out a great book about success and learn from the greats, but there is no better teacher than experience, which comes only from taking action.

The dangerous thing about the internet is the overabundance of information as we’re still a little unsure of how to handle it. Because of all this new information, many entrepreneurs can easily get caught in a comfort zone of learning because it makes them feel like they’re doing something when they’re not sure what else to do or they’re afraid to take action. By reading another book or listening to one more podcast, they delay action and don’t have to feel guilty.

Others spend too much time making a decision. They worry about making the “right” decision. A mentor of mine taught me that it’s far more powerful to “make a decision, and then make it right.” If you find out it’s wrong, make a new decision, pivot quickly and take new action. Whatever you do, avoid getting caught up in analysis paralysis. Action is the cure.

“The path to success is to take massive, determined actions.” – Tony Robbins

2. Consistent action breeds momentum

Momentum is the mitochondria of the cell; the powerhouse. When you have momentum on your side, several benefits kick in. For example, challenges shrink from overwhelming obstacles to small speed bumps and you will tend to make decisions quickly. Small annoyances become meaningless as momentum serendipitously brings with it a cousin named “confidence.”

Think back to the last time you made a lane change while driving. It was easy; you glanced over your shoulder (hopefully) to make sure there was adequate space, put on your blinker and drove into the other lane.

Compare that with your lane getting caught in a standstill. The lane next to you is cruising along, must be an accident up ahead. Naturally, you want to make the same maneuver- a lane change. You look over your shoulder and…wait. You wait for a gap sufficiently large enough to allow you to jump into the lane and speed up without cutting off oncoming traffic.

Granted, some drivers don’t seem to care much about that (ask me how I know), but you get the idea. Momentum is a mindset game changer. When you have it, everything seems easier because everything is “going your way.”

3. Habit takes over and rules it all

Once you are consistently taking action, and you’re having fun because of all this newfound momentum on your side, you’re likely to repeat it and form a habit. Firstly, this happens mentally and then physically. Mentally, a habit is a new way of thinking about things, because your expectations change. Without realizing, you begin “looking” for good things to happen because you just know they will. You become an optimist.

Your habits are the backbone to your success. Once you start the mental habit of thinking like a successful person and you start doing the things successful people do every day, your life changes. Success is inevitable. It’s the law of the harvest- you reap what you sow. Plant good seeds in the spring, water them all summer and fall will produce.

“Winners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations in advance of the event.” – Brian Tracy

If you aren’t where you want to be in life, take a deeper look and you’ll notice a breakdown somewhere along the way. Be honest in your self-diagnosis and admit when you’re off track. Allow for mistakes, because perfectionism is one of the great plagues prevalent in our society.

So now that you’ve read this blog, stop learning and start earning. Get up and take action- start the cycle and see how it changes your life.

Which one of these principles will help you most this year? Let us know in the comments below!

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Success Advice

My Giant Imaginary Billboard Would Say This: The Stories You Tell Yourself Come True.

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We’ve all played the game where we try to think of a message we’d put on a metaphorical billboard that costs us nothing.

The point of the exercise is to try and find out what one message you would share with the world that could change the game for all of us.

I racked my brain trying to think of mine. There are so many messages I want to share. Finally, I figured out what mine would be.

The message I would put on a giant billboard is:

“The stories you tell yourself come true”

 

The stories you tell yourself.

The reason I chose this powerful message is that it’s the one thing that has changed the course of my life. When I began telling myself a new story, everything around me appeared differently. I genuinely believe that I am going to change the world in a big way and create positivity.

You have a recurring story running through your own brain that you’re probably unaware of. The story might be one like this:

– Life is hard, so I better relax tonight.
– I need to make more money so life will get easier.
– Why do these disasters always happen to me?
– Why is it so hard to make a living?
– Why can’t I find my passion like everyone else?

These stories are all built on a lie. These stories focus on inaction and that will get you nowhere.

 

The stories you tell start with a question.

To improve your story, you first need to start by asking better questions. Questions that limit you will destroy your success. I’ve found the best questions to ask yourself have the following elements:

– They’re big and audacious
– They mention the phrase “Changing the world”
– They’re open-ended
– They assume the best, not the worst
– They’re not of a selfish nature

Write down some questions that will help you create a new story for your life.

 

You’re going to be repeating this story a lot so it might as well be good.

These stories play over and over in our head every day. You might as well have a story that’s interesting and makes you feel good don’t you think?

I don’t want to hear nonsense playing in my head on repeat. There’s enough of that in day-to-day life already.

That’s why my story says the following:

– I will inspire millions of people
– I will be healthy so I can have energy to do what I love
– I will have a life full of challenges and no matter what I’ll find the positive
– I will be fearful and that means I’m excited
– I will help others because that’s the true wisdom of life

 

What you tell yourself over and over becomes your reality.

Your life becomes what you tell yourself over and over. Change that pattern and insert a new story, and if you’re patient enough, you’ll become that new story.

Not overnight. Not in 60 seconds. In a few years probably.

So tell yourself things that are going to inspire you to do the extraordinary. Don’t fill your head with deadbeat ideas like “I’m not enough.”

You are bloody enough and you can be a bloody ripper of a person if you put your mind to it and tell yourself clever things.

The whole “Life Hacking” sport has become everybody’s favorite TV station. The thing is you don’t need to hack anything if you tell yourself the right stories.

 

Translation of “The Stories You Tell Yourself”

This line is a bit hocus pocus when I think about it. If I were to transcribe this phrase, I’d say that the stories you tell yourself stem from one idea: YOU MUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

All the stories I just shared with you that I tell myself are stories of believing in what I can achieve. If you don’t believe in yourself then how can you expect anyone else to take a chance on you? There are so many distractions nowadays so for anyone to give you their attention, they have to believe it’s going to be worth it.

Believing in yourself is centered around one idea: You’re going to back yourself even though you don’t know the outcome or the steps you necessarily need to move forward.

Believing in yourself is a belief in the reality of uncertainty.

Uncertainty takes courage and that means crushing fear. All of these fundamentals of life that I’m sharing are not new things that you’ve never heard. These pillars of life are interconnected.

“When you fall in love with uncertainty, you tell yourself that you’re confident, strong and can deal with obstacles. This creates a fortress around your mind that protects you from outside, negative forces, telling you a different story. It’s how you avoid the opinions of others and back yourself”

 

5 years ago…..

I told myself a story that I was going to crush my ridiculous fears and become somebody who focuses on the “doing” and spreading positivity.

That new story seemed so stupid at the time because of where I was but none the less I believed it. It then took everything I had to make it come true. I never let challenges bring me away from that storyline and I kept it front and center.

People told me I wasn’t good enough, rich enough, smart enough, experienced enough and I decided to tell myself the story that “Yes I am and I won’t be stopped from achieving my goal.”

I’ve told this story so many times since then that now the majority of my network and colleagues believe it. It’s no longer an idea. It’s now a reality.

“The stories you tell yourself do come true and I’m living proof of that”

 

Commit to a new story.

I never write any blog post without insisting on one action from you. The action for you right now is to commit to a new story. Sign up for a new story and put all your poker chips on the line. Throw away that old story that told you that you weren’t good enough.

Create a new story that supports the person you want to become and the goals you want to achieve. The last step is this: Tell that new story to yourself every single day and believe every word.

The stories you tell yourself do come true and that’s what I would put on a giant billboard if I were given access to one. Much respect.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

I’ll Tell You How To Be Confident Without The Self-Help BS: You Just Do It.

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One of the most popular topics on blogs right now is content about how to have more confidence. It’s driving me bonkers! I’m unsure what the fascination is with the subject.

Having gone through the whole confidence battle myself and come out the other side on top, I think I can share a few things that will help everybody.

 

Act as if.

Rather than be caught up in the foreplay of overthinking, considering and asking too many questions, just do.

“Quite simply, what has worked for me is to just get on with the task and tell myself I’m becoming an expert while being in motion”

Getting going is the part we’re all missing when it comes to confidence. You can’t be confident unless you get some experience at whatever you want to be confident at. This advice sounds simplistic because it is.

I’ve become more confident over the last five years by running up miles in the beaten-up VW Beetle that was my mind and body. Through gaining experience, I turned that VW Beetle into a Lamborghini by trying things and executing.

There’s no pretending when it comes to confidence. You only start to believe you are confident when you begin taking action. I could probably wrap it up right there and you’d be done when it comes to confidence. No more self-help secrets and private masterminds are required.

Act as if you are already confident and your mind will believe you. Your mind only believes what you tell it. Tell your mind you are confident and you will gain more confidence in the execution. That extraordinary mind will then do as you tell it.

 

Sit up and stand up straight soldier!

I always believed this one was total hocus pocus or maybe even a Jedi Mind Trick. It’s not. Confidence is also in the way you move. People feel confidence in you through your presence. If you need to perform at 110% in say a speech as an example, you have to stand up straight and physically be confident.

Now this is harder than it looks so here’s what I did: I stood on the stage with my back straight. I then rolled my shoulders back and poked my chest out slightly. Each movement on stage was acted out as if I was Arnold Schwarzenegger posing for the Mr Olympia Final (that’s hard as I look nothing like him but stay with me peeps).

Simply having a confident physical presence allowed the audience to be confident with the words and advice I was delivering. Even if each point I presented was not completely thought through, the effect was still the same. I came across as confident.

So, next time you want to be confident, try this out for yourself. Pick your own hero who’s oozing confidence, to be the person you imagine when you go into your confident pose. No matter how ridiculous this seems, it works. Don’t question, just do.

 

Self-talk is key: three words to confidence.

Okay, let’s not overdo this confidence lesson. The self-talk in my head when I need to be confident is very dumb and easy to copy. The three words I use are:

“You got this!”

Say those three words whenever you need to be confident. Say them over and over until they drown out your negative inner voice that wants to doubt your ability.

“Doubt is the disease that sabotages your confidence”

I had no idea about blogging as an example. I just believed I’d find a way and I did. My doubting brain told me that I was hopeless at English and couldn’t master grammar to save my life. That aside, I just used these three words to silence the inner critic.

Your inner critic is only right if you let it be. Back yourself. Talk to yourself like a winner (not a loser) and you’ll have more confidence. No need to buy that book on confidence anymore. No need to read another self-help, pump up blog post that gets you all warm and sweaty.

 

Disconnect from the outcome.

Confidence is about putting the outcome aside. Everything you do is a lesson and will give you confidence. Being tied to the idea of what the outcome looks like allows your doubting mind and your inner critic to come back to the main stage of your attention.

Where your energy flows to, is where your focus goes. Focusing on anything other than being confident about your daily battles will give you the results you hate. Nine times out of ten you can’t control the outcome anyway.

So focusing on doing your best and being confident will take you so much further. Like I keep saying “You got this!”

Swag it out like whatever outcome you achieve is phenomenal because you are incredible for waking up each day and just giving it a crack!

 

Say yes and learn later.

Confidence comes from saying yes and deciding to figure out the strategy later. If an offer or idea resonates with you, then say yes. You’ll find yourself gaining more experience by doing so. My superman complex used to make me carefully think about each offer I was presented with to assess whether I had the skills and capability.

Now I choose offers and proposals that bring me joy instead, and I use my newfound confidence to say yes, and know that I’ll learn what I need to execute properly along the way. Failing that, there’s someone I know in my network that can fill any blanks in regardless so I’m very unlikely to fail.

BUT even if I fail it’s all good because I still learned heaps, got experience and had fun in the meantime. All of which made me more confident. Confidence is unstoppable when it starts to compound through experience and taking action.

 

Remember that all of us have no idea including me.

This was something I learned through a podcast. If you look at your heroes and get to know them as friends, you’ll quickly realize, like I did with my own heroes, that they have no idea. Your heroes just act as if and see what sticks.

When approaching any goal with this in mind, you find an inner confidence to have a go and see what happens.

“When you realize we’re all flawed, it sets you free to try stuff and execute on a few wild goals that you may not succeed at”

I have no clue about most things and that’s where the beauty lies. Stop idolizing and be confident in your ability to get sh*t done.

 

We’re all extraordinary when we believe we are.

Belief in yourself is key to having confidence. The truth is that all of us can be extraordinary no matter where we come from, our nationality, the struggles we’ve gone through, what books we’ve read or who our current friends are.

The opportunity to be extraordinary exists for all of us. Let this very idea give you the confidence you need to change the world because you can.

You don’t need more self-help articles on confidence: You need to understand you’re already extraordinary.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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