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5 Ways to Follow Jealousy to Find Your Joy

Are you jealous of something? Become friends with envy and she might tell you what’s missing in your life

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Do you ever feel stuck? Like your soul wants to be doing something other than what you’re actually doing, even if you’re not exactly sure what that is? Sometimes we know what our hearts are craving and other times it seems we just catch glimmers or whispers.

Our modern world doesn’t exactly prioritize our heart’s desires over our to-do lists, and the messages from our soul can get downright squashed. We’re generally not taught how to pay attention to these knocks.

How can we know what our soul wants us to do?

Have you considered accessing it through jealousy?

It was a bit of a shock to me when, after fifteen years of doing yoga and threatening to get my yoga teacher certification but never actually doing it, I noticed myself critiquing other teachers’ classes, especially teachers who were newer at the game.

After the tenth time or so of saying “Sheesh, I could have taught a better class,” I was struck by the awareness that I was actually envious. I might have been able to teach a better class, but no one would ever know it, including me. They had taken the leap to go to training and put themselves out in the world. I hadn’t. I was jealous.

The same thing started happening with books. I’d read something and think “If this thing can get published, I could probably write a bestseller.” Except, I wasn’t writing anything besides my morning journal. I joined a nine-month creativity and transformation course and it seemed everyone there was on their way to writing a book. I was jealous. Again.

Julia Cameron of The Artists’ Way, a maven of creative expansion, tells us we’re jealous when we’re not expressing our own creative gifts in the world, and not living what we came here to do. That envy gets louder the longer we ignore it.

It seems so easy: just go and do it, right? But we often have creative blocks of all kinds. The good news is that there are plenty of practices to help us dismantle the blocks and learn how to play again if we choose.

Here are 5 steps that can let jealousy lead you to your joy:

1. Become Aware!

Start noticing what gives you even the slightest twinge of envy or when you have the inclination to put down someone else’s efforts. An artist friend recalls how someone commented at one of her shows, “I could have done that.” 

Her comment back? “Yes, but you didn’t.” Even something small that makes you bristle with jealousy can be a great window into where your heart wants to go.

Sometimes we don’t even allow ourselves to admit we’re jealous, or we adopt an attitude of superiority (the flip side of the coin that says we’re not good enough). I initially squashed my jealousy of the new yoga teachers by saying I didn’t want to “just be a yoga teacher” (a vocation I now hold with the highest regard). 

I’d been brought up to value success in business, and my identity was wrapped up in a high-achieving, money-making lifestyle. When I allowed myself to admit it, I experienced a fantastic wave of freedom.

“Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.” – Joseph Campbell

2. Move towards the jealousy, not away

Usually we want to get away from these uncomfortable feelings as fast as possible, right? Next time, try leaning in. Ask yourself: What is this trying to tell me? Engage the person who you are jealous of and ask about their accomplishment. 

People who are actually practicing what brings them joy usually love to talk about it. When we’re secure in knowing we’re on our soul path, we generally like to share it with others. 

These people can often be an encouraging resource, showing us the next step to take.

3. Take One Tiny Step

Often we’re stopped from pursuing our dreams because we think we don’t know how. But there is always one little step we can take. If we ask the Universe to show it to us, it usually arrives right on our doorstep. 

If you’re jealous of the local art show, can you spend twenty minutes this week with your paint brushes? If you’re jealous of that powerful public speaker, can you visit the nearest Toastmasters Club? 

If you’re jealous of the great dinner party host, can you invite a friend for a meal? 

What would you really like to do? What’s one tiny step you can take towards this longing?

4. Take yourself out to play

Set aside an hour or so this week for a personal playdate. Resist the temptation to invite friends, spend the time on your phone, or cancel at the last minute in favor of something “more important.” Prioritize it as highly as picking up the kids from school or going to work. Julia Cameron would call this the artist’s date. Ask your heart what he/she/they want to do and do that.

This can be hard – I know! The first time I did this years ago, I couldn’t actually hear what my heart wanted to do. I drove around a little confused, continually asking my heart, “what do you want to do”?

Eventually the car seemed to pull itself into an art store parking lot. I went in and was like a kid in the candy shop. I loved playing with the pastels on display and then thought “I should buy these for my nephew.” What? I was so disconnected from my creativity at that point that I naturally felt I should buy them for the kids.

Fortunately, my heart didn’t let me get away with that, and I took pastels home for me too – generating so much delight and joy in the early morning hours before anyone else in the house got up. I didn’t become a pastel artist, but that purchase opened up all kinds of other avenues of creativity including my real soul path, writing. 

5. Find at least one person to be mutual cheerleaders with

Having another person you can talk to about your dreams and, just as importantly, your fears about taking actions on them, is so powerful. It’s said that geese fly 70 percent further and faster in formation than alone, and it’s no different for us.

Taking action to pursue our dreams can often bring up a lot of resistance. Our brains want to keep us comfortable and stepping into new roles can trigger habitual thoughts that we’re not good enough, we’re not ready, or that “we couldn’t possibly do that.” Having a champion who cheers you on is key. 

Find and keep company with folks who support what you’re exploring and creating.

Avoid the naysayers at all costs, especially in the tender, early stage of dream exploration! Just as it can be hard for us to be supportive of others’ dreams when we’re not pursuing our own, it can be difficult for others to champion you if they are not pursuing their own joy. 

Sometimes they just don’t know how. Don’t take it personally. Often the people we hope will cheerlead us the most — our family and friends — don’t understand or are not able to, and that’s okay. Hold your heart’s explorations close and protect them until you are ready to fly.

When we’re jealous and don’t pay attention, it can nibble away at us, leading to bitterness instead of the creation of a joyful life. Creativity does not necessarily mean art: it’s how we create our lives when we let our heart and soul lead the way. 

Our creativity is a beautiful access to our Divinity; our Soul Path, and jealousy just might lead the way there.

Are you jealous of something? Become friends with envy and she might tell you what’s missing in your life — even where to find it.

Diane Pienta is a creativity mentor, healer, forest therapy guide and author. A former businesswoman, she was sparked by a cancer diagnosis to transform her own life and explore alternative healing, herbalism, yoga and meditation, which led to a new career in nontraditional ways of finding joy, inner peace, and creativity. She’s the author of Be the Magic: Bite-Sized Nuggets of Wisdom to Feed your Joy, Nourish your Soul and Open your Heart.

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Life

What to Do When a Loved One Dies: A Step-by-Step Guide for Families

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Image Credit: Addicted2success

When someone you love dies, the world does not pause to let you grieve. Within hours, there are calls to make and decisions to face, often while you are in shock and running on no sleep. It can feel like being handed a to-do list in a language you do not speak.

So what actually needs to happen, and in what order? Having a clear, calm sequence to follow can lift some of the weight at the hardest possible time. This guide walks through the practical steps, gently, so you can take them one at a time rather than all at once.

In the First Hours and Days

The very first steps depend on where the person passed away, and the good news is that others usually help you through them.

If the death happens in a hospital or care home, the staff will guide you and handle the immediate medical formalities. If it happens at home, you will need to contact a doctor or the relevant authorities so the death can be formally confirmed. In an unexpected death, calling emergency services is the right first move.

Once that is done, a few early tasks follow naturally:

  • Contact close family and friends, and lean on them to help spread the news
  • Choose a funeral home, which will collect the person and become a key source of support
  • Begin looking for any documents that record the person’s wishes for their funeral

There is no need to rush the bigger decisions in these first hours. Give yourself permission to move slowly.

Getting the Documents You Will Need

One piece of paperwork underpins almost everything that follows, so it helps to understand it early. The death certificate is the official document you will need again and again, for banks, insurers, government agencies and the estate.

Your funeral home can usually help you register the death and obtain copies. A useful tip that saves stress later: order several certified copies at the outset, because many organisations insist on an original rather than a photocopy.

Keep these somewhere safe and organised. You will be surprised how often you reach for them over the following months.

Arranging the Funeral

With the immediate practicalities underway, attention turns to saying goodbye. This is emotional work as much as logistical, so accept help freely.

Start by looking for any wishes the person left behind, whether in a will, a letter or simply things they once told you. A funeral home will walk you through the choices around burial or cremation, the type of service, and the costs involved. It is completely reasonable to ask for an itemised price list and to take a trusted friend or relative along to help you think clearly.

Lean on your community here. People genuinely want to help, and funerals are one of the times it is right to let them.

Handling the Estate and Legal Steps

Once the funeral has passed, the practical matter of the person’s estate comes into focus. This is the part families most often find confusing, and it is worth knowing you do not have to face it alone.

The estate is everything the person owned and owed, and someone has to gather it, settle debts and taxes, and distribute what remains. If there is a will, it names an executor to do this. If there is no will, the situation is more complex, and this is far more common than people assume. Around half of Canadian adults say they do not have a will, according to the Angus Reid Institute. When someone dies without one, provincial law decides who inherits, which can surprise families and take longer to resolve.

This is often the point where professional help makes the biggest difference. Speaking with a Probate lawyer in Vancouver or in your own area can clarify what needs to happen and take real weight off an executor’s shoulders.

Westcoast Wills & Estates is a Metro Vancouver firm that helps executors and families through probate and estate administration. The probate process, where a court confirms the will and the executor’s authority, can take months, so patience and good records matter more than speed here.

Notifying the Right People and Organisations

A quieter task runs alongside everything else: letting the necessary institutions know. Working through this steadily prevents headaches later.

The list usually includes:

  • Banks, and any pension or investment providers
  • Government agencies, including tax and benefits offices
  • Insurance companies, for life, home and vehicle policies
  • Utilities, subscriptions and any ongoing memberships
  • Employers, if the person was still working

Take it one organisation at a time, and keep a simple note of who you have contacted and when. There is no prize for doing it all in a day.

Looking After Yourself Through It

This is not an afterthought, it belongs on the list. Grief and paperwork are a punishing combination, and you cannot handle either well if you are running on empty.

Accept every offer of help, whether it is a cooked meal, a lift, or someone sitting with you while you make calls. Delegate tasks to family where you can. And be patient with yourself, because grief does not follow a schedule and there is no correct way to feel. If the weight becomes too much, reaching out to a grief counsellor or your doctor is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Conclusion

Losing someone is one of life’s hardest experiences, and the practical demands that come with it can feel cruel in their timing. Breaking it into steps, handled one at a time, makes the impossible feel manageable.

Deal with the immediate needs first, gather the documents, say goodbye in a way that honours them, and get good help with the estate. Above all, be gentle with yourself. This article is general information, not legal advice, so consult a qualified professional about your specific situation and the rules where you live.

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Life

Title IX Accusations on Campus: What College Students Need to Know Before an Allegation Derails Their Future

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You spent years building toward this moment: the acceptance letter, the scholarship, the dream of graduating and stepping into the life you mapped out. Then, without warning, a Title IX allegation lands on your doorstep.

For thousands of college students across the United States every year, a campus misconduct complaint does not just disrupt a semester. It can strip away financial aid, erase scholarship eligibility, trigger academic suspension, and permanently damage an authority’s reputation before a career even begins. If you are a student who values growth, achievement, and protecting what you have worked for, understanding Title IX is not optional; it is essential.

What Is Title IX, and Why Does It Apply to You?

Title IX is a federal civil rights law enacted in 1972 that prohibits sex-based discrimination in any educational program or activity receiving federal funding. While the law was originally written to ensure equal athletic and academic opportunities for women, its scope has expanded dramatically. Today, Title IX governs how colleges and universities investigate and adjudicate allegations of sexual harassment, sexual assault, stalking, and dating violence on campus.

According to the U.S. Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights, every institution receiving federal funds- virtually every college in the country- is legally required to have a designated Title IX Coordinator and a formal grievance process for handling complaints.

That means the moment a complaint is filed against you, your school is legally obligated to investigate. The process moves fast, and the consequences are serious.

The Campus Process Is Not the Same as a Criminal Trial, But It Can Lead to One

One of the most dangerous misconceptions students hold is that a Title IX hearing is informal or low-stakes. In reality, a campus investigation can run parallel to or even precede a criminal investigation by law enforcement. The U.S. Department of Justice makes clear that schools and law enforcement operate independently, meaning you could face disciplinary action from your university and criminal charges simultaneously.

Campus disciplinary proceedings do not carry the same procedural protections as criminal courts. There is no presumption of innocence baked into the system. Investigators appointed by your institution serve the institution, not you. Evidence standards differ, and the burden of proof is often a “preponderance of the evidence” standard, meaning just over 50% likelihood is far lower than the “beyond a reasonable doubt” threshold used in criminal courts.

A finding of responsibility in a campus proceeding can result in suspension, expulsion, and a disciplinary notation on your academic transcript that follows you into every graduate school application, authoritative licensing board review, and background check for the rest of your life.

Five Things You Must Do Immediately If You Are Accused

The hours and days immediately following an accusation are the most critical. Here is what every student must prioritize:

  1. Say nothing without legal counsel present. Do not speak to the Title IX Coordinator, your university’s investigators, campus security, or local law enforcement until you have spoken with an attorney. Anything you say, even in an informal conversation, can be used against you in both the campus proceeding and potential criminal proceedings.
  2. Do not contact the complainant. Even if the accusation feels like a misunderstanding that a single conversation could resolve, any contact can be framed as witness tampering or harassment, compounding your situation significantly.
  3. Preserve all evidence. Text messages, emails, social media exchanges, photographs, location data, and witness contact information can all be critical to your defense. Do not delete anything.
  4. Request all documents from the school. Under the regulations issued by the Department of Education, you have the right to the evidence gathered against you. Know those rights and exercise them.
  5. Retain experienced legal representation immediately. The overlap between Title IX proceedings and criminal law is complex. You need an attorney who understands both systems. For students in the region, consulting with an experienced legal defense team in New Jersey who are familiar with both campus disciplinary processes and state criminal law is a critical step in mounting a credible defense.

Your Future Is Worth Protecting. Treat It That Way

The self-improvement community talks a great deal about resilience, reinvention, and getting back up after setbacks. But the most effective form of resilience is preparation, knowing what can threaten your goals before it does.

A Title IX accusation, handled without proper legal guidance, does not just pause your success story. It can end chapters you have not even written yet. The U.S. Department of Education’s student resources outline how findings of misconduct affect federal financial aid eligibility, a reality that can make completing your education financially impossible even if you later clear your name.

Protecting your future means taking every threat to it seriously, from day one.

If you or someone you know is facing a Title IX allegation, whether on a New Jersey campus or anywhere in the country, do not navigate it alone. Understand your rights, document everything, and get qualified legal counsel in your corner before the process moves forward without you.

Your goals did not disappear when the accusation was filed. The question is whether you will fight for them.

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Life

5 Power Moves Successful People Make Immediately After a Serious Accident in Florida

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High performers aren’t defined by the good days. They’re defined by what they do in the first 48 hours after everything goes sideways. A serious car accident, a fall at a job site, a collision on I-95 these are the moments that test whether you actually operate with the discipline you claim on your LinkedIn bio.

Florida’s roads are unforgiving. Between the tourist traffic, the seasonal snowbirds, and some of the busiest highways in the country, serious accidents happen here more often than most people want to admit. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, Florida consistently ranks among the states with the highest number of traffic-related injuries and fatalities each year.

Success isn’t about avoiding the crash. It’s about what you do the moment after it happens. Here are five power moves the sharpest operators make when a serious accident threatens to derail everything they’ve built.

1. They Get Medical Attention First

Adrenaline is a liar. Plenty of ambitious people walk away from a wreck feeling “fine,” then wake up two days later unable to get out of bed. Soft tissue damage, concussions, and internal injuries frequently don’t show symptoms until well after the adrenaline wears off.

Successful people don’t gamble with their most valuable asset: their body. They go to the ER or urgent care immediately, even if they feel okay. The CDC’s Injury Center has published extensive data showing that delayed treatment after motor vehicle accidents is directly linked to worse long-term outcomes. Beyond the health risk, skipping care creates a paper trail gap that insurance companies will exploit later to argue the injury “wasn’t that serious.”

2. They Document Like a Founder Documents a Pitch

Entrepreneurs know that the story you can prove beats the story you can tell. The same logic applies at the scene of an accident. High performers instinctively start capturing evidence: photos of the vehicles, the road conditions, visible injuries, license plates, and the surrounding scene before anything gets moved or cleaned up.

They also get names and contact information for every witness on site, because memories fade and people move. This isn’t paranoia; it’s the same instinct that makes someone successful in business: control the narrative before someone else controls it for you.

3. They Understand the Rules of the Game Before They Play It

Florida operates under a no-fault insurance system, which means your own Personal Injury Protection (PIP) coverage is supposed to kick in regardless of who caused the accident but only up to a point, and only if specific deadlines are met. Miss the reporting window and that coverage can disappear entirely, according to guidelines published by the Florida Department of Highway Safety and Motor Vehicles.

Smart operators don’t wing this. They understand that insurance is a business built on minimizing payouts, and the rules are written in a way that rewards people who know them and punishes people who don’t. Before signing anything or giving a recorded statement, they get educated on exactly what they’re entitled to.

4. They Refuse to Negotiate Alone

This is the move that separates people who protect their future from people who get quietly taken advantage of. Insurance adjusters are trained negotiators whose job is to settle claims for as little as possible, as fast as possible, often before an injured person even knows the full extent of their damages.

Successful people don’t try to out-negotiate a professional on their own turf. They bring in representation. If you’re anywhere near Palm Beach County, working with legal professionals experienced in accident cases in Lake Worth means you have someone in your corner who deals with these tactics daily, understands local courts, and knows how to build a claim that reflects the true cost of the accident: medical bills, lost income, and the less obvious impact on your ability to work and perform.

Treating this like any other high-stakes negotiation where you never show up without leverage is exactly the mindset that protects six-figure outcomes instead of settling for a lowball check.

5. They Treat Recovery as a Comeback Strategy, Not a Setback

Here’s the mindset shift that separates the people who bounce back stronger from the ones who stay stuck. A serious accident isn’t just a physical event; it’s a disruption to income, momentum, and identity. The people who recover fastest treat the weeks and months after an accident the way they’d treat any major setback in business: they build a plan.

That means lining up medical care, legal support, and financial breathing room as a system, not a scramble. It means communicating clearly with employers, clients, or business partners instead of going dark. And it means giving themselves permission to actually heal instead of pushing through pain to “stay productive,” which almost always backfires and extends recovery time.

The accident isn’t the story. What you do in the days immediately after it is. The people who come back from serious injuries stronger, financially intact, and clear-headed are the ones who moved fast, documented everything, understood the system they were operating in, and refused to face it alone.

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Relationship Advice

Engagement Pictures: Turning Your Proposal Journey Into a Story of Growth and Success

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Most people book engagement pictures thinking about one thing: a nice photo for the save-the-date. That’s fair. But the session often becomes much more than that.

Many couples later realize that their engagement photos hold a different kind of significance than their wedding images. Without the formality and fast pace of the wedding day, the session often captures them at their most natural, preserving the connection and excitement they shared before life became busier with wedding planning and married life.

There’s a mindset shift hiding in that session, and that’s what makes engagement pictures so meaningful.

Why the Proposal Is Really a Milestone

Think about what a proposal actually represents. Years of showing up. Awkward first dates, a few near-misses, moving cities, learning to argue without blowing things up. By the time someone kneels down, a whole quiet history sits behind that moment.

Researchers who study what’s called “narrative identity” argue that people build a sense of self by turning their experiences into a story—the wins, the setbacks, the turning points. Research Gate has covered this idea at length, and it maps neatly onto an engagement. You’re not just marking a decision. You’re closing one chapter and naming the next one out loud.

That reframe matters for anyone chasing goals of any kind. Progress feels invisible while you’re inside it but a milestone forces you to stop and look back.

Engagement Pictures as a Record of Growth

Here’s where the camera earns its keep. A good session captures the two of you as you are right now—before the wedding stress, before the mortgage, before the kids. Ten years on, those frames won’t just show younger faces. They’ll show the version of you that decided to bet on each other.

Many couples describe flipping through their old engagement pictures the way a founder rereads early journal entries. Not for nostalgia exactly. More like checking the receipts on how much they’ve grown since. If you want ideas for capturing that feeling honestly, this guide to engagement pictures breaks down poses that read as natural rather than stiff.

The trick is treating the shoot as documentation, not performance.

Make the Session Mean Something

A few things that separate the photos you’ll frame from the ones you’ll forget:

  • Pick a location with a backstory – the coffee shop where you met beats a generic park every time.
  • Bring one object that carries weight – a ticket stub, a beat-up book, the dog.
  • Plan for movement – walking, laughing, whispering. Static poses age badly.
  • Leave room for the unplanned shot – the best frame is usually between the ones you asked for.

None of this requires a big budget, just a little intention, which is the same currency that moves your commitment forward.

The Discipline Nobody Talks About

Booking the shoot is easy. Following through is where people stall, and it looks a lot like every other goal that dies in the planning stage. You schedule it, then you talk yourself out of the outfit, the timing, and the awkwardness of standing in front of a lens.

Push past that anyway. The couples who commit tend to be the same ones who treat their relationship like something worth investing in deliberately. Showing up for a photo session is a small rep, but small reps compound. In many ways, it’s the same principle behind why small habits build strong families.

Strong relationships, according to the Gottman Institute, are built less on grand gestures than on repeated small moments of connection. An engagement shoot is simply an hour of those moments, on purpose

Strong relationships, according to the Gottman Institute, are built less on grand gestures than on repeated small moments of connection. An engagement shoot is basically an hour of those, on purpose.

Turning the Engagement Pictures Into a Story You Keep

Digital files disappear into cloud folders nobody opens. That’s the real risk. The engagement pictures that shape how you remember this season are the ones you can hold.

Printing them changes the relationship you have with the memory. A book on the shelf gets picked up. A framed shot on the wall becomes part of the room. If you’re deciding how to preserve the set, you can learn more about turning a gallery into something physical and lasting here.

Some couples build a simple timeline: first date, the proposal, the engagement pictures, the wedding and hang it where they’ll see it daily. It becomes a quiet reminder of momentum, which is exactly the kind of fuel that keeps big goals moving forward, especially now that you’ll share and build a life together.

Start With One Frame

You don’t need the whole plan figured out. Book the session, choose a spot that means something, and let the rest happen. Engagement pictures aren’t only about looking good on a wedding invite—they’re a checkpoint, a way of pausing long enough to see how much ground two people can cover when they decide to build something together.

Look back at them a decade from now. The poses will fade from memory, but the feeling won’t. That’s the part you’ll carry with you.

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