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5 Keys That Will Unlock Your Real Potential

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unlock your potential

We are all born into this world with a clean slate. The same unlimited potential. Yet, when we get to the end, it may seem that some have been gifted with more potential than others. The only reason this happens is that as we go through our journey of life, we create boundaries and limitations on ourselves.

Most of these began way back as a young child when we were sponges, eager and hungry to absorb information of the world around us, and also that of the world beyond us. We relied initially on our parents, our siblings and our close family, and then expanded to our friends and teachers, and later through relationships at work .

During these crucial developmental stages, we were ultimately imprinted with the beliefs and values of these people, and predominantly based most of our beliefs and values on these foundations.

Unfortunately, as young children we were sometimes told “You’re not smart!”, “You’ll never be good at anything!”, “You’re a loser!”, and so on…..and this stuff sticks. When these words come from people we respect and trust, we then believe it. And when these types of beliefs are carried through life, our confidence, self-esteem, and potential diminish.

So if you are at a point on your journey that you feel you can do more, or be more here are a few simple things you can do to alter your thinking:

1. Accept Where You Are

By knowing where your life is at, and accepting you are exactly where you are meant to be, you are able to create a vision of moving forward. If you feel life owes you for your past, you are going to wait for it to be given to you. And that could take a very long time. Sure, some events might not have been fair, some may have hurt, and some may have been wrong, but if you hold on to them, and more specifically the emotions attached to them, then they will keep you exactly where you are now. You must accept where you are right now, and make a decision to change.

“If you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them” – Richard Bach

2. Grow Your Mindset

Those that live with a Fixed Mindset believe that their personality, their potential, and their intelligence are all framed and determined at birth, whilst those that live with a Growth Mindset believe that their personality, potential, and intelligence can be improved. They believe that we are all born with a ‘clean slate’, and every person on this planet can be whatever they choose to be.

They decide to improve their life situation by learning, applying themselves, and by failing. You need to recognize these two mindsets and ensure you have a Growth Mindset. If you find your mindset is Fixed, it is essential you make a decision to change it.

3. Create A Picture

If you want to make changes, you need to know what it is you want. What is your real potential? What does it look like? What are you doing in the picture? Hear the sounds, feel the feelings. If you don’t visualise your outcome, you will have no idea what you are aiming at, and you will keep hitting nothing. Be very precise with what it is. It doesn’t matter what that picture is right now, as it can (and will) change over time. The important things is that you have something to begin with.

4. Believe You Can

As I mentioned at the beginning, many of our beliefs were imprinted when we were children. We learnt them. And we can equally ‘unlearn’ them if we choose. And from there, new beliefs can be formed. When we do this, our unconscious mind will work with them (that’s what it does with our beliefs) to help create outcomes that will be consistent to them.

Now, you will come across people who are going to judge you and criticise you, and will do what they can to ‘cut you down’, and that is ok. They don’t have the same beliefs as you, nor do they see the same picture as you. So stay focused on your path without stepping on to theirs.

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right” – Henry Ford

5. No Excuses

If you make a decision to change, then stick with it. Change can be hard, especially when doing things you have never done before. It means creating new habits that will, at times, be uncomfortable. Every night, plan your next day. What do you need to get done, and how are you going to do it? The least amount of surprises you have each day is going to help stop you from getting side-tracked. Go into each day with a 100% attitude. 99% is making room for an excuse.

Making change can often be hard, but as long as you make a decision to change you will be on your way. Choose to learn. Change to a positive internal language. Embrace the challenges along the way. Be motivated by the setbacks. And if you need some support, then get it.

Some believe we are here for a reason, a specific purpose, whilst others believe we are here just because we are, and with no set agenda. Wherever you fit on that scale is fine, and regardless of where that is, strive to be the best version of you that you can possibly be. That is living to your real potential.

How are you unlocking your real potential? Please leave your thoughts below!

Hamish Bayston is an expert at helping business owners create a powerful mindset, enabling them to get successful outcomes. Key drivers such as values, beliefs, strategies, modelling, goal setting, accountability and mentoring are what gets results for his clients. Hamish's clients include entrepreneurs, business owners, and Network Marketing / MLM business builders. Online training programs, and Skype coaching, allow his local and international clients easy access to resources and coaching. Grab his ebook here and connect with him on his website hamishbayston.com.

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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