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12 Ways To Turn Your Life Around In 12 Months Or Less

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how to turn your life around
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The road to success is rarely straight. Anyone who has achieved success in any area of their life will likely tell you that their journey was not an easy one. Roadblocks, dead ends, disappointments, bad decisions, and failures (collectively referred to as “experience”) are often the stepping-stones that forge the path to success.

Most people who have achieved success have also hit rock bottom somewhere along the way. But it was the experience of hitting rock bottom that gave these individuals the motivation they needed to make dramatic changes in their life and propel them towards success. As the attitude and achievement expert Dr. Willie Jolley once said: “a setback is a setup for a comeback.”

If you wake up one day and realize that the life you’re living is not the life you want, don’t beat yourself up about it. Accept where you are, and more importantly, accept the responsibility for changing where you’re going to be.

You cannot change your life overnight, but you can most certainly change the direction of your life overnight.

Here are 12 things you can start doing immediately to turn your life around and get back on track to achieving success:

1. Read daily

If you want your life to get better, you need to start making better decisions. To make better decisions, you need to equip yourself with new ideas and better information. Get into the habit of reading at least 10 pages of great information every single day. At this rate, you’ll be able to finish at least 1 new book per month, for a total of 12 new books per year.

Don’t read fiction. In most cases, fiction is meant to entertain you, but not empower you. You should alternate between non-fiction categories that have a direct correlation to the areas of your life you want to improve. Examples of good categories include: health, personal finance, wealth creation, relationships, business, self-help, spirituality, productivity, success, and inspirational biographies. The wisdom and ideas you will get from these types of book will undoubtedly help you to succeed.

2. Put your goals in writing

Without question, the most successful people in the world all have goals. Their goals are the benchmark against which they measure their results. People without goals often have no direction. Like a hamster on a wheel, they move but go nowhere.

Turning your life around begins with identifying exactly what you want to achieve and then creating a strategy for achieving it. Give your goals deadlines, and identify the resources you will need and the actions you must take in order to accomplish them. Read your goals every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to sleep to ensure your mind stays focused on your objectives.

3. Dissolve relationships with people who hold you back

There may be some people in your life that you are better off not spending time with. Not everyone has habits or attitudes that are conducive to success, and unfortunately those habits and attitudes are contagious. Like crabs in a bucket, these people are the first to pull you down the moment they see you trying to climb to a higher level. You may have friends, coworkers, or even family members who fit this description.

It is not always a good idea to abruptly cut people out of your life (doing so typically arouses resentment). Some relationships should be dissolved gently. Gradually decrease the amount of time you spend with the people who you don’t want around you as you move forward. Use the time you would otherwise be spending with them to build new relationships with positive people who support and encourage your success.

4. Stay hydrated and exercise regularly

Success doesn’t come easy. It takes a lot of hard work. In order to put in the work necessary to get to the next level without burning out, you need to build up large reserves of physical and mental energy.

The first thing you can do to immediately increase your energy levels is to drink more water. Water helps replenish your system, improve digestion and eliminate waste from your body. Many people make the mistake of thinking they are tired or hungry when in reality they are just dehydrated. Drink a large glass of water as soon as you wake up, drink a few glasses throughout the day and before each meal, and drink another glass in the evening before you go to sleep.

The second thing you should do is exercise for at least 30 minutes (go for a run or go to the gym) no less than 3 times per week. Regular exercise helps strengthen your heart and lungs, improves your flexibility and strength, helps manage your weight, prevents illness, decreases stress, and it even helps you to get better sleep – all of which have positive effects on your energy levels, overall health, focus and productivity.

5. Start a savings plan

There’s an old Chinese Proverb that says: “The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is today.” When it comes to saving money, this philosophy is just as valid. If you haven’t been saving a portion of your income for investment and future use, the best time to start doing so is now. Most financial planners would agree that you should be saving a minimum of 10% of your monthly income on a consistent basis. Unfortunately most people spend the majority of what they earn (sometimes more) and invest very little for the future.

Don’t make the mistake of working hard for money, and then using that money to pay everyone else except you.  Pay yourself first. If you don’t think you have the discipline to do this, go to your bank and arrange for a percentage of the income you deposit to be immediately transferred to a savings or investment account.  Learn to live off of at least 90% of your income. Your future self will thank you for it.

6. Turn your car into a classroom

If you work full-time, you probably spend somewhere between 5 and 10 hours per week commuting to and from work. Instead of listening to music or the radio during this time, start listening to inspiring and educational content. Most books have an audio version, and there are plenty of great podcasts that you can listen to for free on iTunes. With an abundance of great content on virtually every subject at your disposal, you don’t have to go back to school to get more education.

7. Stop watching TV

If you pay for a monthly cable subscription then do yourself a favor and cancel it. Seriously. Watching television is arguably one of the most toxic, unproductive, time-wasting activities of modern society. Stop wasting precious hours of your day on negative news, sports, advertisements, and reality shows that add no real value to your life. Start using the hours you waste channel surfing on activities that are more productive.

If for whatever reason you just can’t live without watching a specific game or episode, then add it to your schedule, watch it online (on Apple TV or Netflix, for example), and make it a social event by inviting friends or family to join you.

8. Practice public speaking

The ability to speak confidently and communicate articulately is one of the most valued and rewarded skills in the marketplace today. People who are good communicators are able to navigate their way through life with ease and enjoy more success than those who are not. They earn promotions, they build key relationships, they present their ideas clearly, they resolve disputes, and they typically earn the respect and admiration of the people around them. They are leaders in their organizations, their families, and their communities.

Most people are terrified of speaking in public, and they will do almost anything to avoid it. This presents a tremendous opportunity for those who are willing to step out of their comfort zone and develop this rare skill. One of the places you can go to practice your communication skills in a non-threatening, positive environment is your local Toastmasters club. Most of these clubs host weekly meetings where anyone is welcome to attend and participate. As you become a stronger communicator, people will begin to perceive you as a leader, and more opportunities will come to you as a result.

9. Stop complaining

One of the worst habits a person can have is the habit of complaining. People who complain are usually negative and pessimistic by nature. Don’t be one of them. If you encounter problems or challenges, don’t complain about them. If you catch yourself complaining about something, bite your tongue and reframe the situation. Complaining about a situation doesn’t change it. Get proactive and focus on finding a solution. A Napoleon Hill once said: “Every adversity carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.” Look for the benefit in each situation.

10. Learn a new skill

A great way to bring some more excitement into your life is to learn something new. Consider learning to play an instrument, learning to speak a new language, joining a club, taking a class, or playing a sport you’ve never played before. The purpose of doing this is to ignite your sense of wonder and creativity, while simultaneously getting you out of your comfort zone and into new experiences.

11. Start a business

If you don’t already own your own business, there is no better time to start one than right now. Advances in technology have removed virtually all barriers to entry for aspiring entrepreneurs. Anyone with an internet connection and a credit card can start a business, and there is no shortage of training and resources available to help you get started.

For about as much as it costs to stay in a hotel for a weekend, you can buy a web domain, create a website, print some business cards, place a few ads online, and start promoting yourself to the marketplace.  You could sell a service (graphic design or consulting, for example), sell your own products, or promote someone else’s products in exchange for a commission.

12. Look for opportunities to help others

Most people think only in terms of what they can receive from others instead of what they can give to others. But the law of reciprocity teaches us that if we want to receive, we should give. Giving ignites the receiving process.

If you want to feel good, one of the simplest yet most effective ways to feel good is to do something to make someone else feel good. If you want people to treat you with more respect, start treating other people with more respect. If you want your life to get better, help someone else’s life get better. The more you do for others, the more others will want to do things for you. Give and you shall receive.

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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