Connect with us

Life

8 Reasons Why Nothing Ever Seems to Make You Happy

Published

on

not happy about life finding happiness through success

“Money may not buy you happiness but happiness can help you get rich.”
- Jim Loehr, author of Power of Full Engagement

Do you sometimes feel like you should be happier?

From the outside you’re the picture of success, but on the inside you feel miserable, with happiness just out of reach.

You used to think that success would bring contentment, but now you’re filled with doubt.

Well, let’s change that. The following are some answers to why you are not happier even when everything in your life is running smoothly.

 

1. You’ve been sold someone else’s idea of happiness

• Do you already have a good car and want an even better one?
• Have you been thinking about joining an exclusive club?
• Have you been thinking about getting a more expensive house even though the one you have is perfectly fine?
• Do you have a great partner but you can’t stop criticizing all of their little flaws?

You likely want more because you’ve bought into Madison Avenue and Hollywood images of success, happiness and perfection.

Unfortunately, the goal of Madison Avenue and Hollywood movies is to sell the hope of happiness so that you open your wallet and buy.

Solution: Don’t be seduced by advertising and movie images of the good life. If you are not happy in the now, you need to discover the real reasons why you are not as happy as you want to be — before you acquire more money, status and stuff — and work to uncover what will make you feel good about yourself now.

 

2. You’re acting like you’re still in high school

• Do you ever compare yourself to the Joneses?
• Are you ever seduced into getting the fancier car, house or partner just because your peers did?

Wanting to keep up with the Joneses and feel like you are a member of the tribe is normal because love and belonging are hard-wired human needs.

You want to feel like you are part of the in-crowd; adult life is a grown-up version of high school after all. The only difference is that the characters have wrinkles, gray hair and a few extra pounds.

If everyone else is accumulating more and more, you feel pressured to keep up. If you don’t keep up, it can remind you of memories of rejection and humiliation from school. That’s one of the reasons why you feel the need to keep up with the Joneses.

Solution: Find a new tribe that’s not as focused on materialistic things and are more focused on making a difference in the world. Stop thinking about yourself, give back to the community and find a cause you are passionate about.

 

3. You have no clue how to connect deeply with people

• Do you feel lonely despite having lots of Facebook friends, LinkedIn connections and community acquaintances?
• Are you dying to have real friends you can share your deepest thoughts, feelings and fears with?

Realistically, most of your peers feel as lonely as you and they crave real heart-to-heart connections too. They are just waiting for someone else to start the vulnerable conversations.

Solution: Get together for coffee or lunch with an acquaintance you’ve always wanted to know better. Look for an opening to share your deepest thoughts. Ask questions such as, “What makes you happy? What are you afraid of? What are your goals? Why are these goals important to you?”

 

4. Your past demons are driving you

• Growing up, did anyone ever make you feel you were not enough?
• Do you feel like you are trying to prove something to someone?

Who are you trying to prove your worth to?

• Your mother?
• Your father?
• Your sister or brother?
• The bullies on the playground?
• The teacher that humiliated you?

Through your drive for success, you may be subconsciously trying to show them that you are enough and that you are somebody important. That’s because the #1 desire of human beings is…

… to be validated.

To feel that you are perfect just the way you are.

To feel worthy.

To feel good enough.

You may be unconsciously driven to accumulate more money, more status and more stuff in the name of showing those who have hurt you that, “Look, I’m enough, I’m somebody important.”

Solution: Understand where your drive for success comes from. If it comes from a part of you that feels like you are not enough, you can update that part with what you have accomplished and let it know that you are enough. When this part finally realized that you have been successful, it will give you permission to slow down and smell the roses.

Happiness Journey Picture Quote

 

5. You’re in emotional jail

Are you afraid of feeling like a wimp if you admit you need help?

The stigma attached to seeking professional help to improve emotional states prevents many from seeking help. “I’m not a wimp; I can deal with this.” So you deal with it by going along with Madison Avenue’s definition of happiness — buy more stuff. Or you deal with it by drinking too much or eating too much and numbing your true feelings.

But you’re only hurting yourself if you do this. When you fail to deal with your emotions, they can blow up as anger, irritability, anxiety, rage, hostility, depression, and numbness. And not dealing with your emotions can cause health issues such as cancer, heart disease, thyroid problems, obesity, and autoimmune diseases, and wreck your relationships and hold you back from living to your potential.

Solution: If you cannot cope with life and are severely depressed or addicted, please seek the help of a licensed mental health provider so you can go from dead to good. If you are psychologically stable and you want to go from good to great, a coach may be the better option for you.

Talk to a trusted friend or your doctor. Share what’s going on. They should know a coach, healer or therapist you can talk to.

 

6. Your addictions keep you stuck in misery

• Are you guilty of working, drinking, eating, gambling, shopping, or exercising too much?
• Do you ever feel angry, irritable, sad, anxious, depressed, or numb?
• Are you a perfectionist?

These addictions and feelings are more than likely protective mechanisms to help you avoid old painful memories and feelings of humiliation, rejection, unworthiness, and abandonment.

Could you also be hurting your partner, kids, parents, siblings, peers, or employees as a result of these addictions and feelings?

Solution: Find a coach or counselor that can help you get to the bottom of why you are miserably stuck in these less than desirable behaviors and feelings.

 

7. You believe happiness is always one more goal away

• “If I just make more money, I’ll be happy.”
• “If I just buy my dream home, I’ll be happy.”
• “If I just get a hot and sexy partner, I’ll be happy.”
• “If I just get rid of the last 15 pounds, I’ll be happy.”

You are fooling yourself if you keep thinking that the next monetary, status or material possession will finally be the ticket to joy.

You’ll get high temporarily and then go back to your old miserable state shortly thereafter. Then you’ll convince yourself that the goal wasn’t big enough. The next goal will finally be the golden ticket.

The Law of Paradoxical Intention says, “You must have goals, but your happiness cannot be tied to those goals. You must be happy first before you reach your goals.”

This means if you want something so badly, that wanting creates a negative vibration and so the Universe will give you the opposite of what you want. So if you think you will be happy as a result of reaching a goal, this law says you won’t get it because you’re trying too hard.

Solution: If you are not happy now on the journey to achieving your goals, look inward and ask yourself what events from the past are keeping you stuck from happiness today? Why do you need something outside of yourself to be happy?

 

8. You don’t love yourself unconditionally

“I love you so much … you are perfect just the way you are!” Can you look in the mirror and say this?

If you can’t love yourself, just know that this is a major root cause of misery for many.

Psychologist & Life Coach Wayne Dyer said:

“You will not attract into your life what you want, you will attract what you are.”

What you are is a function of what’s in your subconscious. Your subconscious is 90% responsible for what you attract into your life.

If your subconscious is full of negative chatter such as, “I’m a loser, I’m fat, I’ll never be as good as my brother”, these negative thoughts will emit negative energy.

Negative energy sucks the life out of people, and others will avoid you like the plague and you’ll end up alone and miserable in your old age, even if you have all the material trappings of success.

When you love yourself, the inner chatter will be positive and you will be happier. When you are happy, others will be drawn to you like bees to honey. Nothing is sexier than exuding unconditional self-love and confidence in a non-narcissistic way.

So how do you get rid of negative chatter and negative core beliefs such as, “I’m not lovable, I’m not worthy and I’m not enough,” so you can show up happy and sexy?

By accessing and healing negative memories at their source. These memories can be as minor as the bully that called you stupid or as major as emotional and physical abuse from caregivers.

Take yourself back into the painful memories and access those parts of you that hold feelings of shame, rejection, and worthlessness. These are the parts that hold you back from joy.

Tell those parts that you love them unconditionally. This is self-led re-parenting. When they feel love from you, they will delete the faulty beliefs they acquired from bad experiences and these parts will help you feel happy now because they no longer feel ashamed, rejected or worthless.

You can watch self-led re-parenting in the movies. The last 20 minutes of the movie The Kid with Bruce Willis demonstrates what I outlined above. The character played by Bruce Willis spent his whole life trying to forget his bad memories. Then his 8-year-old self shows up and Bruce heals that young part of himself through self-led re-parenting. He went back into the traumatic memories with his 8-year-old part and was able to give his younger part the love he needed that he never got when the original negative experiences occurred.

Bottom line:

If you are still miserable despite your successes, more than likely the burdens of the past are what make you feel like crap even though nothing seems to be wrong.

If you keep trying to push down old toxic memories, they will inevitably come back to haunt you and hold you back from authentic happiness (kind of like trying to make a beach ball disappear underwater).

When you feel good about yourself from the inside out, more money, status and stuff can be the icing on the happiness cake.

Are you happy now on the journey of living to your potential and making a difference? If not, what is keeping you stuck from being happy?

Emily Filloramo is a Success and Happiness Catalyst. Go from good to GREAT! Emily guides you to permanently boost happiness, self-esteem and confidence through discarding old emotional baggage. Get your free copy of 3 Steps To Discard The Emotional Baggage that Keep You Stuck.

Advertisement
24 Comments

24 Comments

  1. Peter

    May 8, 2017 at 1:59 pm

    so amazing and excellent article i really thank you for sharing this important information. When i visit I feel very happy.

  2. Adam

    Sep 6, 2016 at 5:27 pm

    Great work Emily
    The complete post is awesome but the most important part i liked is “You have no clue how to connect deeply with people”

    Thanks for this and keep doing good work

    To your Success
    Adam

    • Emily Filloramo

      Sep 6, 2016 at 11:05 pm

      Thank you for the compliment Adam. 🙂 The people who have no clue how to connect deeply with others are not connected to themselves. They need to do some major self-awareness and inner work.

  3. rehan

    Aug 10, 2015 at 7:25 am

    thanks for sharing this amazing sort of information …
    well i think being happy is a great thing .. live happy make happy .

  4. UMOZ

    Jul 6, 2015 at 11:41 pm

    thank you a lot of info here keep going to the best 😉

  5. Pritish

    Mar 5, 2015 at 7:38 pm

    Really Great article !
    Mentioned Every Point apply on Me. Now I will Try to Recover From all These Rather than Archiving Other Goals 🙂

  6. Soh Sontsele

    Dec 14, 2014 at 5:52 am

    Now I realise how I messed my life ending up making up loans and credit thinking that if I could buy that, I would be happy. Ending up more depressed becoz I have material and debt. Bt no peace

  7. Caro

    Oct 10, 2014 at 6:03 pm

    Emily this was so well written and explained! Thank you for this. It’s so easy to feel as if you aren’t measuring up even when you have loads of accomplishments and successes under your belt. Thanks for your transparency and empathy in clearly outlining ways to overcome these feelings.

    • Emily Filloramo

      Dec 13, 2014 at 1:04 am

      So happy that this was helpful to you Caro. We often climb the ladder of success because that’s what we’ve been conditioned to do… until we reach a point in our lives where we can’t figure out why the trappings of success are not curing the feelings of disconnection, emptiness and angst. Now you know why.

  8. Dahlya

    Aug 26, 2014 at 8:44 pm

    Hi Emily, great article 🙂

    I’ve been struggling to find the first steps/occupation that makes me smile working everyday, I feel little connection to many jobs out there/available. I’m holding faith that something will come, but it’s disheartening having waited so long. I’m unsure what to think/do, would you have a quick minute? 🙂

    • Emily Filloramo

      Dec 13, 2014 at 1:05 am

      Hi Dahlya,

      I think a career coach is more of what you need. There are so many coaches (and books) you can find on the internet that have free resources where you can start to get come clarity.

  9. Carlos Reitzer

    Apr 20, 2014 at 10:14 pm

    I feel so bad because I believed for years I was good as a designer, now I’m 42 years old and I realize I’m not that good, I don’t know what should I do. Like a painfull prank of life.

    • Emily Filloramo

      Apr 22, 2014 at 3:40 am

      Carlos, have you considered hiring a career coach to figure out your next steps?

  10. Julian Sado

    Apr 16, 2014 at 8:49 pm

    Emily, I am a life and wellness coach for many people and if you don’t mind, I will direct people to your article. It’s always good to have like-minded information to confirm truth. Thank you for the article.

    • Emily Filloramo

      Apr 17, 2014 at 11:40 am

      Julian, of course you can direct others to the articles. 🙂

  11. margaret

    Apr 15, 2014 at 4:14 pm

    i have been empowered. happiness inside will lead to greater things

  12. Gabes

    Apr 15, 2014 at 10:36 am

    Grate Post Emily

  13. Koko

    Apr 13, 2014 at 7:05 pm

    Great article Emily. I tweeted “You will not attract into your life what you want, you will attract what you are.”, although I liked each and everything 🙂

  14. dotchamou

    Apr 13, 2014 at 1:46 pm

    Thank you for this post, I will quote Jim Rhon to express my thought
    “Happiness is the art of learning how to get joy from your substance.” — Jim Rohn

    “The greatest source of unhappiness comes from inside.” — Jim Rohn

    • Emily Filloramo

      Apr 13, 2014 at 6:44 pm

      Thanks for these great comments from Jim Rohn. Now if just more people would live their lives happy in the now and not after they have bought more stuff…

      • Jumana

        Dec 10, 2014 at 9:15 pm

        Amen to that. I despair sometimes when I see people buy into that facade of instant gratification when they think they’ve brought a bargain. I think you hit the nail on the head with this article..

    • June Nies

      Apr 25, 2014 at 5:45 pm

      I like that dotchamou… Happiness is an art of learning to get joy… Jim Rohn is a favorite of mine! I’ll never forget seeing & talking to Jim Rohn; such an impressionable person to never forget! I’ve also had the privilege of meeting Emily Filloramo in person and Emily is following in his footsteps! Thank you Emily!!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

How to Fight Off Burnout With a Workout

Published

on

working out
Image Credit: Twenty20.com

A lot of entrepreneurs complain about burnout and its buddies; migraines, lack of sleep, uneasiness, anxiety, and clouded thinking. When we are under stress and fatigue, almost to a point when we would just like to fall into a deep sleep and skip work for 48 hours, our mind does not function properly. In fact, here’s an experiment – think about your latest bad decisions in business, and think about your last friction with a co-worker, employee, or a boss.

Don’t you credit that experience to “a bad day”? And most likely, you were really tired or stressed that day, right? Now, it doesn’t matter if we only slept two hours that day or we woke up on the wrong side of the bed that morning, some days are just bad. You feel tired, you don’t have time for self-reflection, there’s just so many things that need to be done.

However, what if there’s a little hack you can do so that you can increase the probability of a good work day? Would you do it? Well, here it is – get moving. You’re tired? Go hit the pool. Stressed out? Book a yoga class. Need a break from the concrete jungle? Invite your friends for a round of beach volleyball this weekend. The thing is, for you to beat burnout and exhaustion, you can tap into your reserve energy, and use it to produce more. Sound counterintuitive? We don’t blame you for thinking that, but several studies have proven that this works.

Tackling the science

A study done at the University of British Columbia found that cardio exercises like aerobics, dance, or martial arts boosts your hippocampus size. This is the part of the brain that facilitates knowledge transfer, memory, and emotional regulation. So whatever it is that you do for work or whatever business you’re in, exercise will absolutely improve your mind’s disposition while you’re doing it.

Regular exercise also encourages better sleep, which leads to a clearer mind and a healthier disposition. As you know, when you’re sleep deprived, you are prone to mistakes, bad judgment, and overly sensitive feelings. Reduced stress and anxiety have also been reported to be a positive effect of regular exercise and good sleep.

“Strength does not come from the physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” – Ghandi

Real life business action stars weigh in

Richard Branson, a known entrepreneur, enjoys a wide range of activities for his daily exercise. From kitesurfing, to tennis, to yoga, he makes sure he inserts ample exercise hours to his days. He varies his daily activities and claims that it adds hours of productivity to him.

Jack Dorsey, CEO and co-founder of Twitter and Square, admits to following a tight schedule for exercise. He clocks in gym time, runs at least five kilometers daily, and also practices yoga. He believes it’s integral to how he does business and how he can function as a high performance entrepreneur. And since he owns two high – profile tech businesses, we can only imagine how busy his days get, yet, there’s really no excuse to not get active!

Where you can start

According to experts, the key here is to pick a physical activity that you actually enjoy. Something that you will look forward to doing. The first few days of your new lifestyle will be dedicated to building the habit rather than trying to lose weight or build muscle.

Another easy technique is including your loved ones or your colleagues in these activities. Since you are also looking forward to spending time with them and helping them become healthier, this is a good plus.

“Strive for progress, not perfection.”

Lastly, record and chart your experience. Keep track of the time you spend exercising; how soon you feel tired at work, whether you still get migraines, difficulty of sleeping, or find yourself bingeing…whatever your bad habits are before, see how exercise can change a lot of things for you.

Then, also keep a separate record or diary for how it helped your business. Did you see a drastic jump in productivity? Better time management? Better mood? Better decision making? Monitor it so you can appreciate it better. This way, you feel motivated to keep the habit and can even share your experience to your fellow entrepreneurs!

To many people, exercise is a way to get the body they want so they can look good and feel good at the same time. The thing is, constant correct physical activity, is just another way for you to reward yourself for building positive habits. Plus, now that you know it’s also a key factor to being successful in business, we’re pretty sure you’re never second-guessing this anymore. Now, are you ready to build a real empire? Then build the strength to create it first.

How do you cool off after a stressful experience? Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Life

6 Positive Side Effects of Being Grateful

Published

on

grateful
Image Credit: Twenty20.com

Unless you’ve been living on a remote tropical island (and during recent turbulent times you may have been tempted to escape there), you have seen the growing evidence about the huge positive impact gratitude has on your health. As little as five minutes a day of focused gratitude, the no-cost quality of life booster, contributes to impressive improvements not only in emotional health, but also in physical, social, and spiritual health.

Some may ask, “what is gratitude?” Gratitude is a different emotion from happiness because it is most often a reaction to another individual’s generosity. The trigger, according to science, is to receive a message from someone else, interpret it as beneficial to yourself, and experience thankfulness.

Repeatedly, studies have shown that performing simple gratitude exercises, like keeping a gratitude diary or writing letters of thanks, can produce a range of impressive health benefits that often continue well after the expressions of gratitude are finished.

Ready to boost all your dimensions with some thank you’s? Here are 6 positive side effects of being grateful:

1. Physical Benefits

People who experience and express gratitude report feeling healthier than other people and report fewer aches and pains. This positive attitude creates a generous snowball of good health since thankful people are also more likely to exercise more often and visit their doctor regularly, which is likely to contribute to further longevity. The health benefits of a daily gratitude journal have been proven to decrease depression and anxiety, as well as improve cardiovascular function in heart patients.

A free health booster for us all? Grab a pen before bed and spend a mere 15 minutes jotting down what you are grateful for that day, and odds are you will sleep better and longer. That increases not only your quality but also potentially the quantity of your life.

2. Adds To Your Emotional Bank Account Balance

The math of your emotional bank account is pretty simple: positive emotions contribute, negative emotions withdraw. More positive + less negative = Higher emotional balance. Research shows that when it comes to your emotional bank account, gratitude is like a generous grandma who just can’t stop giving, and defends her sweet one against all negative withdrawals.

The simple act of writing a thank-you note to someone who has blessed you produces profound good feelings, empathy, and optimism. Remembering the moment that inspired the thank you card, in turn, produces even more positive emotions, a sort of cascading happiness effect.

Not only does gratitude increase well-being and happiness, it also shuts down emotional withdrawals by decreasing toxic emotions such as envy, resentment, frustration, guilt, and regret. No wonder small daily deposits of gratitude can have a compounding effect on your emotional bank account. So, go write grandma that thank you note you’ve been meaning to send. She’s earned your interest!

“Gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves, and spend without fear of bankruptcy.” – Fred De Witt Van Amburgh

3. Builds Stronger Relationships

Grateful people appear warm and responsive, which increases their trust in others and influences them to approach and bond with their benefactors. Researchers refer to this as the “broaden-and-build theory” of positive emotions, where positive feelings encourage us to seek out new experiences, people, and activities. This comfort zone expansion increases the odds of finding high-quality relationship partners.

Expressions of thanks can also reinforce the bonds of current relationships, through the give-and-take of mutual gratitude. This immediate effect of greater joy contributes to long-term social success, so much that the person receiving gratitude reaps rewards in personal well-being and relationship satisfaction up to six months after the deliberate gratitude expression. That’s a powerful social benefit!

4. Better Work Environment

The impact of gratitude can even improve your work environment. A simple daily practice of reflecting on the parts of your job you are grateful for has been proven to positively impact your productivity, goal achievement, decision-making and networking skills.

Not only can being thankful help you manage your job responsibilities more effectively, but it also reduces job-related stress and burnout. Knowing this, it’s not hard to see how small doses of thankfulness could result in increased job satisfaction, but also a potential promotion, when you play your thank you cards right!

5. Fills Your Spirit

The spiritual blessings of counting your blessings are profound. Being grateful for what you have improves your self-esteem, which is an essential component to optimal performance and achieving your life purpose.

Recent research on types of gratitude have important significance for not only individuals but society as a whole. Study participants who had reflected on and expressed gratitude for experiences rather than material purchases, were significantly more generous to others and kept less for themselves than did those in the group who reflected on possessions.

One explanation, according to scientists, is that when people feel closer to other humans, they might treat others better. By structuring community experiences and events that promote social and spiritual connection, organizers can encourage more future altruistic behavior, which benefits us all.

“It is impossible to feel grateful and depressed in the same moment.” – Naomi Williams

6. Brain Power

Still skeptical? Even brain scans, hard scientific data, are confirming the astonishing impact of gratitude in 3 fascinating ways. A brain experiencing gratitude toward a specific person is flooded with feel-good hormones which makes you more inclined to desire that feeling again and make you feel attached to others at the same time.

Brain scans show gratitude also does something quite peculiar: it activates the hypothalamus.  Being thankful actually makes our metabolism, hunger and other natural bodily functions work more efficiently.

Perhaps most significantly during this high-stress era, gratitude increases mental strength. Remembering all you have to be thankful for, even during the most tragic times of your life, creates resilience and reduces Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

So, there you have it. That “Attitude of Gratitude” isn’t a platitude…it’s a health booster of highest magnitude!

What are you most grateful for today? Let us know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Life

6 Proven Methods to Help You Take Back Your Daily Power

Published

on

confident woman
Image Credit: Twenty20.com

Everyday, you wake up ready to take on the world. In your mind, you’re prepared for anything that comes your way, however  there are distractions that come along throughout the day. Each distraction takes away a little bit of your daily power, and eventually, you become numb to your intention of proactively having an awesome day. You’re simply out of mental energy because little negative distractions started to add up and your day goes down the drain by noon.

To stay focused on making your goals happen, here are 6 solutions to help you stop giving away your daily power:

1. Take your attention away from the distraction

It’s not a distraction if you don’t pay attention to it. Normally, when something happens, you automatically turn your focus to what’s going on. You’re now caught up in it and you want to see it through to the end. After 15 minutes, you then realize, “Where did the time go?” If you let daily distractions get the best of you, it will snowball into an unproductive day.

2. Keep moving forward

This is the rule for everything. No matter what happens or what gets in your way, keep moving forward. Your goal is to get things done and it won’t get done if you stop and complain about it. It’s so easy to give away your daily power to something that doesn’t even matter so don’t allow little things to stop you from making big moves. If it’s not helping you with your work, it’s not worth stopping to discuss and criticize. Keep moving forward.

“You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action.” – Tony Robbins

3. Leave the arguments to other people

People who argue waste a ton of time. Unless it’s your job to find others to argue with, it’s useless. You build up your emotions, trying to prove you’re right to someone who probably doesn’t really care. After you’re into your feelings, it’s hard to come back down and concentrate on what you were doing.

There are some people out there who literally argue for sport. They will pick an argument just to see the other person get worked up. Again, this is a real time waster and can mentally drain you. You could be using that energy towards making more important moves and decisions. Learn to bypass the arguments.

4. Just say no

When you’re doing your work, you will find that people will stop by and start a conversation. It’s like there’s a sign on your head that says, “I’m really deep into what I’m doing – please interrupt me.” Kindly tell that person that you can talk with them later, just not right now.

Also, if you’re invited to a party or a get-together that you really don’t want to go to, just say no. You may have more important things to accomplish and you honestly need that time to focus. Don’t feel like you’re obligated to go, just because they asked. An invitation allows you to say yes or no. Tell them you’ll make it next time.

“Learn to say no without explaining yourself.”

5. Stop worrying about what you can’t control

Things happen out of our control, yet that doesn’t mean you should take the time to complain about it. It means you should figure out a way to get around it and proceed with what you were doing in the first place. Accept the fact that it happened.

Unless you can change what happened, leave it alone and move on with your life. Some people get stuck on what happened and they don’t know how to get over it and move on. Focus your time and energy on what you can control. Make that happen.

6. Get over your emotions

Your emotions can take away a tremendous amount of your daily power. It sounds mean, but there should be a scheduled time when you put your emotions aside in order to work. You will not work effectively if you are emotional. Unless you’re a songwriter and you just broke up with your girlfriend, then it’s fine. That’s actually part of your work, because you’ll end up writing a hit song.

It’s the opposite for just about everything else. It’s not the right time to deal with emotions when your finger is on the red button and your cat just died. Devote some time to it, but not when you’re in the process of saving the world.

There are many ways small things can take away your daily power, but it doesn’t have to be that way. You are in control of your mind and your thoughts. If you are conscious enough to recognize when it’s happening, you can do something about it. Your day will be more productive and your daily power will be infinite.

How do you stay productive throughout the day? Let us know your advice in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Life

10 Simple Ways You Can Bounce Back in Life After Failure

Published

on

failure
Image Credit: Twenty20.com

You’ve just failed to achieve something that you have aspired for. Maybe it’s a test, or a job, or even love. You’re now at a juncture, with two paths for you to consider: Sit and moan about it, but do nothing to change or bounce back. The reason you are reading this itself indicates that you are part of the latter category.

Here are 10 simple ways to bounce back in life no matter the situation:

1. I can do it and I will

This is, beyond doubt, the first thing you need to tell yourself every single day. Maybe even the first thing every single morning. Waking up reinvigorated, reinforce yourself ,“It’s a brand new day. There is so much for me to do, and now is the time. I can neither change my past, nor my future, but I shall act today and shape my future.”

2. Chalk out your plan

For anything that you want to achieve, be it a skill, passing a test, getting a job, losing weight or learning to drive, you need a plan. Chalking out this plan is your next step. It has to be based on your goal. Talk to experts, refer to relevant resources and read books about the goals that you want to accomplish. Come up with a plan as per your timeline and goals, the resources that you possess, and most importantly, your strengths.

“Success is the result of perfection, hard work, learning from failure, loyalty, and persistence.” – Colin Powell

3. Modularise your goal

Breaking down a significant task into smaller chunks always helps. It fosters self-belief and keeps the next goal in sight. Keep up your plan for a week and then break it down further to a daily level. Let’s say your goal is running a 5K marathon in the next month. Then your plan could look something like this:

  • 1st week – run 3 times a week.
  • 2nd week – run every day with short water breaks after every 8 /10 minutes.
  • 3rd week – Work on managing my breath.
  • 4th week – Practice and more practice (there’s no substitute for dedication).
  • D Day – Achieve what you’ve worked so hard for!

4. Keep track of your goal

The biggest mistake you could make is to think you have time. Before you realize it, all your time is gone. Unfortunately, time is the one resource we cannot conserve. Procrastination is addictive, and you will get better at it with each day that passes. Your backlog of tasks will keep growing each day, and to such an extent that one day, it seems unachievable and you have to abandon it. Bhagavad Geeta (an ancient scripture on how to live life) says – “your soul is your greatest friend as well as your biggest enemy. The real doer is your mind. Make it a habit to work to finish your target for the day. This becomes the base of building your confidence and belief in self.”

5. Celebrate your small wins

Reward yourself for sticking to your plan and achieving progress day by day. Getting yourself on the track is easier than keeping yourself there. Check your progress on a periodic basis. You may not be exactly where you planned yourself to be but, as long as you are within 10% of your planned progress, you’re good. Rewarding yourself for the progress made gives you the confidence and assurance to say, “I have made it till here and I have been consistent in my progress. I will make it.”

6. Be that deaf frog

Many of you would have heard about the story of the frog which climbed to the treetop while most of the other frogs kept shouting that it was impossible to reach the tree top. The reason it was able to reach the top was that it was deaf. So it couldn’t listen to all the negative comments, it was only focused on reaching its goal.

This applies to anyone, keeping one’s mind clean and positive is very important. If you keep listening to what people around you say and seek their approval, then you will never be able to progress. Our mind uses the sense organs to receive information and process it.

What we see, hear and whom we choose to be around is a major contributor to our thoughts. Hence, observing who you spend time with, is very important to keep you on your path. It’s always good to have friends whose company keeps you motivated.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” – Henry Ford

7. Avoid distractions, keep your eyes set on the goal

The formula for success in this age is the ability to focus and cut down on distractions, since all of us are force fed information every minute via social media and all the other channels. However, the authenticity and relevance of all this information are a huge question mark. All the media have very catchy or sensational titles to grab your attention.

This reduces our attention and memory span hugely. Continuing from the previous point, what you take inside determines your thoughts. Keep a watch on how you are spending your extra time. Keeping one limited on social media and Whatsapp is essential for success. Better not to be there at all, but the next best option is to limit yourself.

The question then arises, how else do I relax? Go for a walk, talk to your friends, or even go play outdoors. Do something that gives you happiness. You may feel left out, not knowing what’s happening in the world outside during the initial days, but there is nothing worth knowing that appears exclusively on social media. Eventually, you will get to know what’s important to you.

8. Don’t compare yourself to others

Your life is yours and you can never swap it with anyone else. Remember, the best of resources may not necessarily bring the best results, it’s the ones with the best attitude, and motivated minds that come up with the best results. You are the master of your life and no one else can make it better other than you.

9. Work on your weaknesses don’t run away from them

Everyone is unique and has their own set of strengths. Some may know how to portray their strengths in a better way, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have any strengths. See what you are good at and leverage on that. Work on your weak areas with more dedication to improve it. Running away from the problem will only make it bigger, and it is better to confront it and deal with it once and for all.

10. Reflect on where you started and how far have you come

Finally, reflect on where you started and how far you have come. It’s amazing to see what hurdles you have crossed to get where you are today. It’s by your determination and dedicated effort you have come here, and it doesn’t happen by luck or accident. Waiting for things to happen hasn’t brought you here, your efforts have. Ultimately, you will achieve your goal and your dream will become a positive reality. There is no better day than today to start your journey. Stay happy and positive, that’s a great vitamin for your mind.

How do you best recover from failure? Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Trending

Motivation

5 Daily Habits to Remain Highly Motivated

Published

on

daily habits
Image Credit: Unsplash

While some of us can naturally maintain a relatively high constant level of motivation, others find it more difficult. This is actually a normal fact of life. After all, the beauty and richness of life is in our attempt to reconcile and manage our different states. (more…)

My name is Bachir Bastien. Being the sparkle that will ignite the fire of possibilities in as many people as possible is how I define myself. I was born and raised in Haiti by my mother. My life has been a struggle since conception. I decided that I was going to use my stories to empower others. These experiences may have been lemons, but I can use them to make sweet lemonade. This is what I have decided to do. That became my life purpose. My first name Bachir means messenger of good news in Arabic; I have been doing just that for the past two years here in Taiwan through articles, workshops, seminars and speeches. I have seen students changing behaviors, increase in confidence, watched students conquer stage fright, etc. This in turn gives me the unwavering certitude that I can empower more people.

Advertisement
24 Comments

24 Comments

  1. Peter

    May 8, 2017 at 1:59 pm

    so amazing and excellent article i really thank you for sharing this important information. When i visit I feel very happy.

  2. Adam

    Sep 6, 2016 at 5:27 pm

    Great work Emily
    The complete post is awesome but the most important part i liked is “You have no clue how to connect deeply with people”

    Thanks for this and keep doing good work

    To your Success
    Adam

    • Emily Filloramo

      Sep 6, 2016 at 11:05 pm

      Thank you for the compliment Adam. 🙂 The people who have no clue how to connect deeply with others are not connected to themselves. They need to do some major self-awareness and inner work.

  3. rehan

    Aug 10, 2015 at 7:25 am

    thanks for sharing this amazing sort of information …
    well i think being happy is a great thing .. live happy make happy .

  4. UMOZ

    Jul 6, 2015 at 11:41 pm

    thank you a lot of info here keep going to the best 😉

  5. Pritish

    Mar 5, 2015 at 7:38 pm

    Really Great article !
    Mentioned Every Point apply on Me. Now I will Try to Recover From all These Rather than Archiving Other Goals 🙂

  6. Soh Sontsele

    Dec 14, 2014 at 5:52 am

    Now I realise how I messed my life ending up making up loans and credit thinking that if I could buy that, I would be happy. Ending up more depressed becoz I have material and debt. Bt no peace

  7. Caro

    Oct 10, 2014 at 6:03 pm

    Emily this was so well written and explained! Thank you for this. It’s so easy to feel as if you aren’t measuring up even when you have loads of accomplishments and successes under your belt. Thanks for your transparency and empathy in clearly outlining ways to overcome these feelings.

    • Emily Filloramo

      Dec 13, 2014 at 1:04 am

      So happy that this was helpful to you Caro. We often climb the ladder of success because that’s what we’ve been conditioned to do… until we reach a point in our lives where we can’t figure out why the trappings of success are not curing the feelings of disconnection, emptiness and angst. Now you know why.

  8. Dahlya

    Aug 26, 2014 at 8:44 pm

    Hi Emily, great article 🙂

    I’ve been struggling to find the first steps/occupation that makes me smile working everyday, I feel little connection to many jobs out there/available. I’m holding faith that something will come, but it’s disheartening having waited so long. I’m unsure what to think/do, would you have a quick minute? 🙂

    • Emily Filloramo

      Dec 13, 2014 at 1:05 am

      Hi Dahlya,

      I think a career coach is more of what you need. There are so many coaches (and books) you can find on the internet that have free resources where you can start to get come clarity.

  9. Carlos Reitzer

    Apr 20, 2014 at 10:14 pm

    I feel so bad because I believed for years I was good as a designer, now I’m 42 years old and I realize I’m not that good, I don’t know what should I do. Like a painfull prank of life.

    • Emily Filloramo

      Apr 22, 2014 at 3:40 am

      Carlos, have you considered hiring a career coach to figure out your next steps?

  10. Julian Sado

    Apr 16, 2014 at 8:49 pm

    Emily, I am a life and wellness coach for many people and if you don’t mind, I will direct people to your article. It’s always good to have like-minded information to confirm truth. Thank you for the article.

    • Emily Filloramo

      Apr 17, 2014 at 11:40 am

      Julian, of course you can direct others to the articles. 🙂

  11. margaret

    Apr 15, 2014 at 4:14 pm

    i have been empowered. happiness inside will lead to greater things

  12. Gabes

    Apr 15, 2014 at 10:36 am

    Grate Post Emily

  13. Koko

    Apr 13, 2014 at 7:05 pm

    Great article Emily. I tweeted “You will not attract into your life what you want, you will attract what you are.”, although I liked each and everything 🙂

  14. dotchamou

    Apr 13, 2014 at 1:46 pm

    Thank you for this post, I will quote Jim Rhon to express my thought
    “Happiness is the art of learning how to get joy from your substance.” — Jim Rohn

    “The greatest source of unhappiness comes from inside.” — Jim Rohn

    • Emily Filloramo

      Apr 13, 2014 at 6:44 pm

      Thanks for these great comments from Jim Rohn. Now if just more people would live their lives happy in the now and not after they have bought more stuff…

      • Jumana

        Dec 10, 2014 at 9:15 pm

        Amen to that. I despair sometimes when I see people buy into that facade of instant gratification when they think they’ve brought a bargain. I think you hit the nail on the head with this article..

    • June Nies

      Apr 25, 2014 at 5:45 pm

      I like that dotchamou… Happiness is an art of learning to get joy… Jim Rohn is a favorite of mine! I’ll never forget seeing & talking to Jim Rohn; such an impressionable person to never forget! I’ve also had the privilege of meeting Emily Filloramo in person and Emily is following in his footsteps! Thank you Emily!!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

How to Fight Off Burnout With a Workout

Published

on

working out
Image Credit: Twenty20.com

A lot of entrepreneurs complain about burnout and its buddies; migraines, lack of sleep, uneasiness, anxiety, and clouded thinking. When we are under stress and fatigue, almost to a point when we would just like to fall into a deep sleep and skip work for 48 hours, our mind does not function properly. In fact, here’s an experiment – think about your latest bad decisions in business, and think about your last friction with a co-worker, employee, or a boss.

Don’t you credit that experience to “a bad day”? And most likely, you were really tired or stressed that day, right? Now, it doesn’t matter if we only slept two hours that day or we woke up on the wrong side of the bed that morning, some days are just bad. You feel tired, you don’t have time for self-reflection, there’s just so many things that need to be done.

However, what if there’s a little hack you can do so that you can increase the probability of a good work day? Would you do it? Well, here it is – get moving. You’re tired? Go hit the pool. Stressed out? Book a yoga class. Need a break from the concrete jungle? Invite your friends for a round of beach volleyball this weekend. The thing is, for you to beat burnout and exhaustion, you can tap into your reserve energy, and use it to produce more. Sound counterintuitive? We don’t blame you for thinking that, but several studies have proven that this works.

Tackling the science

A study done at the University of British Columbia found that cardio exercises like aerobics, dance, or martial arts boosts your hippocampus size. This is the part of the brain that facilitates knowledge transfer, memory, and emotional regulation. So whatever it is that you do for work or whatever business you’re in, exercise will absolutely improve your mind’s disposition while you’re doing it.

Regular exercise also encourages better sleep, which leads to a clearer mind and a healthier disposition. As you know, when you’re sleep deprived, you are prone to mistakes, bad judgment, and overly sensitive feelings. Reduced stress and anxiety have also been reported to be a positive effect of regular exercise and good sleep.

“Strength does not come from the physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” – Ghandi

Real life business action stars weigh in

Richard Branson, a known entrepreneur, enjoys a wide range of activities for his daily exercise. From kitesurfing, to tennis, to yoga, he makes sure he inserts ample exercise hours to his days. He varies his daily activities and claims that it adds hours of productivity to him.

Jack Dorsey, CEO and co-founder of Twitter and Square, admits to following a tight schedule for exercise. He clocks in gym time, runs at least five kilometers daily, and also practices yoga. He believes it’s integral to how he does business and how he can function as a high performance entrepreneur. And since he owns two high – profile tech businesses, we can only imagine how busy his days get, yet, there’s really no excuse to not get active!

Where you can start

According to experts, the key here is to pick a physical activity that you actually enjoy. Something that you will look forward to doing. The first few days of your new lifestyle will be dedicated to building the habit rather than trying to lose weight or build muscle.

Another easy technique is including your loved ones or your colleagues in these activities. Since you are also looking forward to spending time with them and helping them become healthier, this is a good plus.

“Strive for progress, not perfection.”

Lastly, record and chart your experience. Keep track of the time you spend exercising; how soon you feel tired at work, whether you still get migraines, difficulty of sleeping, or find yourself bingeing…whatever your bad habits are before, see how exercise can change a lot of things for you.

Then, also keep a separate record or diary for how it helped your business. Did you see a drastic jump in productivity? Better time management? Better mood? Better decision making? Monitor it so you can appreciate it better. This way, you feel motivated to keep the habit and can even share your experience to your fellow entrepreneurs!

To many people, exercise is a way to get the body they want so they can look good and feel good at the same time. The thing is, constant correct physical activity, is just another way for you to reward yourself for building positive habits. Plus, now that you know it’s also a key factor to being successful in business, we’re pretty sure you’re never second-guessing this anymore. Now, are you ready to build a real empire? Then build the strength to create it first.

How do you cool off after a stressful experience? Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Life

6 Positive Side Effects of Being Grateful

Published

on

grateful
Image Credit: Twenty20.com

Unless you’ve been living on a remote tropical island (and during recent turbulent times you may have been tempted to escape there), you have seen the growing evidence about the huge positive impact gratitude has on your health. As little as five minutes a day of focused gratitude, the no-cost quality of life booster, contributes to impressive improvements not only in emotional health, but also in physical, social, and spiritual health.

Some may ask, “what is gratitude?” Gratitude is a different emotion from happiness because it is most often a reaction to another individual’s generosity. The trigger, according to science, is to receive a message from someone else, interpret it as beneficial to yourself, and experience thankfulness.

Repeatedly, studies have shown that performing simple gratitude exercises, like keeping a gratitude diary or writing letters of thanks, can produce a range of impressive health benefits that often continue well after the expressions of gratitude are finished.

Ready to boost all your dimensions with some thank you’s? Here are 6 positive side effects of being grateful:

1. Physical Benefits

People who experience and express gratitude report feeling healthier than other people and report fewer aches and pains. This positive attitude creates a generous snowball of good health since thankful people are also more likely to exercise more often and visit their doctor regularly, which is likely to contribute to further longevity. The health benefits of a daily gratitude journal have been proven to decrease depression and anxiety, as well as improve cardiovascular function in heart patients.

A free health booster for us all? Grab a pen before bed and spend a mere 15 minutes jotting down what you are grateful for that day, and odds are you will sleep better and longer. That increases not only your quality but also potentially the quantity of your life.

2. Adds To Your Emotional Bank Account Balance

The math of your emotional bank account is pretty simple: positive emotions contribute, negative emotions withdraw. More positive + less negative = Higher emotional balance. Research shows that when it comes to your emotional bank account, gratitude is like a generous grandma who just can’t stop giving, and defends her sweet one against all negative withdrawals.

The simple act of writing a thank-you note to someone who has blessed you produces profound good feelings, empathy, and optimism. Remembering the moment that inspired the thank you card, in turn, produces even more positive emotions, a sort of cascading happiness effect.

Not only does gratitude increase well-being and happiness, it also shuts down emotional withdrawals by decreasing toxic emotions such as envy, resentment, frustration, guilt, and regret. No wonder small daily deposits of gratitude can have a compounding effect on your emotional bank account. So, go write grandma that thank you note you’ve been meaning to send. She’s earned your interest!

“Gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves, and spend without fear of bankruptcy.” – Fred De Witt Van Amburgh

3. Builds Stronger Relationships

Grateful people appear warm and responsive, which increases their trust in others and influences them to approach and bond with their benefactors. Researchers refer to this as the “broaden-and-build theory” of positive emotions, where positive feelings encourage us to seek out new experiences, people, and activities. This comfort zone expansion increases the odds of finding high-quality relationship partners.

Expressions of thanks can also reinforce the bonds of current relationships, through the give-and-take of mutual gratitude. This immediate effect of greater joy contributes to long-term social success, so much that the person receiving gratitude reaps rewards in personal well-being and relationship satisfaction up to six months after the deliberate gratitude expression. That’s a powerful social benefit!

4. Better Work Environment

The impact of gratitude can even improve your work environment. A simple daily practice of reflecting on the parts of your job you are grateful for has been proven to positively impact your productivity, goal achievement, decision-making and networking skills.

Not only can being thankful help you manage your job responsibilities more effectively, but it also reduces job-related stress and burnout. Knowing this, it’s not hard to see how small doses of thankfulness could result in increased job satisfaction, but also a potential promotion, when you play your thank you cards right!

5. Fills Your Spirit

The spiritual blessings of counting your blessings are profound. Being grateful for what you have improves your self-esteem, which is an essential component to optimal performance and achieving your life purpose.

Recent research on types of gratitude have important significance for not only individuals but society as a whole. Study participants who had reflected on and expressed gratitude for experiences rather than material purchases, were significantly more generous to others and kept less for themselves than did those in the group who reflected on possessions.

One explanation, according to scientists, is that when people feel closer to other humans, they might treat others better. By structuring community experiences and events that promote social and spiritual connection, organizers can encourage more future altruistic behavior, which benefits us all.

“It is impossible to feel grateful and depressed in the same moment.” – Naomi Williams

6. Brain Power

Still skeptical? Even brain scans, hard scientific data, are confirming the astonishing impact of gratitude in 3 fascinating ways. A brain experiencing gratitude toward a specific person is flooded with feel-good hormones which makes you more inclined to desire that feeling again and make you feel attached to others at the same time.

Brain scans show gratitude also does something quite peculiar: it activates the hypothalamus.  Being thankful actually makes our metabolism, hunger and other natural bodily functions work more efficiently.

Perhaps most significantly during this high-stress era, gratitude increases mental strength. Remembering all you have to be thankful for, even during the most tragic times of your life, creates resilience and reduces Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

So, there you have it. That “Attitude of Gratitude” isn’t a platitude…it’s a health booster of highest magnitude!

What are you most grateful for today? Let us know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Life

6 Proven Methods to Help You Take Back Your Daily Power

Published

on

confident woman
Image Credit: Twenty20.com

Everyday, you wake up ready to take on the world. In your mind, you’re prepared for anything that comes your way, however  there are distractions that come along throughout the day. Each distraction takes away a little bit of your daily power, and eventually, you become numb to your intention of proactively having an awesome day. You’re simply out of mental energy because little negative distractions started to add up and your day goes down the drain by noon.

To stay focused on making your goals happen, here are 6 solutions to help you stop giving away your daily power:

1. Take your attention away from the distraction

It’s not a distraction if you don’t pay attention to it. Normally, when something happens, you automatically turn your focus to what’s going on. You’re now caught up in it and you want to see it through to the end. After 15 minutes, you then realize, “Where did the time go?” If you let daily distractions get the best of you, it will snowball into an unproductive day.

2. Keep moving forward

This is the rule for everything. No matter what happens or what gets in your way, keep moving forward. Your goal is to get things done and it won’t get done if you stop and complain about it. It’s so easy to give away your daily power to something that doesn’t even matter so don’t allow little things to stop you from making big moves. If it’s not helping you with your work, it’s not worth stopping to discuss and criticize. Keep moving forward.

“You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action.” – Tony Robbins

3. Leave the arguments to other people

People who argue waste a ton of time. Unless it’s your job to find others to argue with, it’s useless. You build up your emotions, trying to prove you’re right to someone who probably doesn’t really care. After you’re into your feelings, it’s hard to come back down and concentrate on what you were doing.

There are some people out there who literally argue for sport. They will pick an argument just to see the other person get worked up. Again, this is a real time waster and can mentally drain you. You could be using that energy towards making more important moves and decisions. Learn to bypass the arguments.

4. Just say no

When you’re doing your work, you will find that people will stop by and start a conversation. It’s like there’s a sign on your head that says, “I’m really deep into what I’m doing – please interrupt me.” Kindly tell that person that you can talk with them later, just not right now.

Also, if you’re invited to a party or a get-together that you really don’t want to go to, just say no. You may have more important things to accomplish and you honestly need that time to focus. Don’t feel like you’re obligated to go, just because they asked. An invitation allows you to say yes or no. Tell them you’ll make it next time.

“Learn to say no without explaining yourself.”

5. Stop worrying about what you can’t control

Things happen out of our control, yet that doesn’t mean you should take the time to complain about it. It means you should figure out a way to get around it and proceed with what you were doing in the first place. Accept the fact that it happened.

Unless you can change what happened, leave it alone and move on with your life. Some people get stuck on what happened and they don’t know how to get over it and move on. Focus your time and energy on what you can control. Make that happen.

6. Get over your emotions

Your emotions can take away a tremendous amount of your daily power. It sounds mean, but there should be a scheduled time when you put your emotions aside in order to work. You will not work effectively if you are emotional. Unless you’re a songwriter and you just broke up with your girlfriend, then it’s fine. That’s actually part of your work, because you’ll end up writing a hit song.

It’s the opposite for just about everything else. It’s not the right time to deal with emotions when your finger is on the red button and your cat just died. Devote some time to it, but not when you’re in the process of saving the world.

There are many ways small things can take away your daily power, but it doesn’t have to be that way. You are in control of your mind and your thoughts. If you are conscious enough to recognize when it’s happening, you can do something about it. Your day will be more productive and your daily power will be infinite.

How do you stay productive throughout the day? Let us know your advice in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Life

10 Simple Ways You Can Bounce Back in Life After Failure

Published

on

failure
Image Credit: Twenty20.com

You’ve just failed to achieve something that you have aspired for. Maybe it’s a test, or a job, or even love. You’re now at a juncture, with two paths for you to consider: Sit and moan about it, but do nothing to change or bounce back. The reason you are reading this itself indicates that you are part of the latter category.

Here are 10 simple ways to bounce back in life no matter the situation:

1. I can do it and I will

This is, beyond doubt, the first thing you need to tell yourself every single day. Maybe even the first thing every single morning. Waking up reinvigorated, reinforce yourself ,“It’s a brand new day. There is so much for me to do, and now is the time. I can neither change my past, nor my future, but I shall act today and shape my future.”

2. Chalk out your plan

For anything that you want to achieve, be it a skill, passing a test, getting a job, losing weight or learning to drive, you need a plan. Chalking out this plan is your next step. It has to be based on your goal. Talk to experts, refer to relevant resources and read books about the goals that you want to accomplish. Come up with a plan as per your timeline and goals, the resources that you possess, and most importantly, your strengths.

“Success is the result of perfection, hard work, learning from failure, loyalty, and persistence.” – Colin Powell

3. Modularise your goal

Breaking down a significant task into smaller chunks always helps. It fosters self-belief and keeps the next goal in sight. Keep up your plan for a week and then break it down further to a daily level. Let’s say your goal is running a 5K marathon in the next month. Then your plan could look something like this:

  • 1st week – run 3 times a week.
  • 2nd week – run every day with short water breaks after every 8 /10 minutes.
  • 3rd week – Work on managing my breath.
  • 4th week – Practice and more practice (there’s no substitute for dedication).
  • D Day – Achieve what you’ve worked so hard for!

4. Keep track of your goal

The biggest mistake you could make is to think you have time. Before you realize it, all your time is gone. Unfortunately, time is the one resource we cannot conserve. Procrastination is addictive, and you will get better at it with each day that passes. Your backlog of tasks will keep growing each day, and to such an extent that one day, it seems unachievable and you have to abandon it. Bhagavad Geeta (an ancient scripture on how to live life) says – “your soul is your greatest friend as well as your biggest enemy. The real doer is your mind. Make it a habit to work to finish your target for the day. This becomes the base of building your confidence and belief in self.”

5. Celebrate your small wins

Reward yourself for sticking to your plan and achieving progress day by day. Getting yourself on the track is easier than keeping yourself there. Check your progress on a periodic basis. You may not be exactly where you planned yourself to be but, as long as you are within 10% of your planned progress, you’re good. Rewarding yourself for the progress made gives you the confidence and assurance to say, “I have made it till here and I have been consistent in my progress. I will make it.”

6. Be that deaf frog

Many of you would have heard about the story of the frog which climbed to the treetop while most of the other frogs kept shouting that it was impossible to reach the tree top. The reason it was able to reach the top was that it was deaf. So it couldn’t listen to all the negative comments, it was only focused on reaching its goal.

This applies to anyone, keeping one’s mind clean and positive is very important. If you keep listening to what people around you say and seek their approval, then you will never be able to progress. Our mind uses the sense organs to receive information and process it.

What we see, hear and whom we choose to be around is a major contributor to our thoughts. Hence, observing who you spend time with, is very important to keep you on your path. It’s always good to have friends whose company keeps you motivated.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” – Henry Ford

7. Avoid distractions, keep your eyes set on the goal

The formula for success in this age is the ability to focus and cut down on distractions, since all of us are force fed information every minute via social media and all the other channels. However, the authenticity and relevance of all this information are a huge question mark. All the media have very catchy or sensational titles to grab your attention.

This reduces our attention and memory span hugely. Continuing from the previous point, what you take inside determines your thoughts. Keep a watch on how you are spending your extra time. Keeping one limited on social media and Whatsapp is essential for success. Better not to be there at all, but the next best option is to limit yourself.

The question then arises, how else do I relax? Go for a walk, talk to your friends, or even go play outdoors. Do something that gives you happiness. You may feel left out, not knowing what’s happening in the world outside during the initial days, but there is nothing worth knowing that appears exclusively on social media. Eventually, you will get to know what’s important to you.

8. Don’t compare yourself to others

Your life is yours and you can never swap it with anyone else. Remember, the best of resources may not necessarily bring the best results, it’s the ones with the best attitude, and motivated minds that come up with the best results. You are the master of your life and no one else can make it better other than you.

9. Work on your weaknesses don’t run away from them

Everyone is unique and has their own set of strengths. Some may know how to portray their strengths in a better way, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have any strengths. See what you are good at and leverage on that. Work on your weak areas with more dedication to improve it. Running away from the problem will only make it bigger, and it is better to confront it and deal with it once and for all.

10. Reflect on where you started and how far have you come

Finally, reflect on where you started and how far you have come. It’s amazing to see what hurdles you have crossed to get where you are today. It’s by your determination and dedicated effort you have come here, and it doesn’t happen by luck or accident. Waiting for things to happen hasn’t brought you here, your efforts have. Ultimately, you will achieve your goal and your dream will become a positive reality. There is no better day than today to start your journey. Stay happy and positive, that’s a great vitamin for your mind.

How do you best recover from failure? Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Trending