Success Advice
5 Ways To Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself And Make A Change
If you’d like to learn how to stop feeling sorry for yourself so you can change your life for the better, sign up for the free 90-Day Master Class hosted by the founder of Addicted2Success.com, Joel Brown.
It is easier to quickly fall into despair nowadays. The constant cycle of bad news splattered all over the internet and the grueling struggle to adapt to the seemingly impersonal new normal makes one even more susceptible to thoughts and whispers of anguish. However, as despairing as our world’s current situation may seem, there is still a glimmer of silver lining on the horizon. We will get through this.
With that in mind, remember that sometimes it’s easy to get stuck in a negative thought pattern. The most important thing to know is that everyone is feeling pain, some people more than others – but the feeling of pain is real for everyone.
By stimulating our minds with thoughts of empowerment and betterment of ourselves, we can work towards not feeling sorry for ourselves and move on with life.
Below are some ways that you can kickstart your life again – and you can begin today:
1. Try reading self-improvement books
Reading is not everyone’s cup of tea. Some prefer to watch videos and others prefer to listen to audiobooks. However, studies revealed that reading does wonders to our brains such as keeping it running and active, improve better connectivity, and auto fix concentration. Imagine what more a self-improvement book can do to you!
There are thousands of self-improvement books out there. Some work and some don’t, but it all depends on the quality of writing, the lesson the author wishes to impart, and how open your mind is as the reader.
Some of the self-improvement books that have broken the internet recently are David Goggin’s New York Times Bestselling book, Can’t Hurt Me. Coming from a traumatic past, Goggins set out and built himself a “Can’t Hurt Me” bulletproof mentality which allowed him to barrel through life’s challenges. Because of this mentality, he came out stronger, both in the mental and physical aspects, on the other side. It is a good read for those who are looking for motivational books that can help them reach their potential in life.
Another great book on self-improvement is Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. Though this book is primarily about leadership from the military perspective, it tackles issues by looking at the importance of having a strong will coupled with a powerful mindset. This is a recommended book for those who are out to win in life. It also teaches one to practice discipline daily.
“If we encounter a man of rare intellect, we should ask him what books he reads.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
2. Check out self-help podcasts
If you’re more the audio type of person, listening to podcasts might suit you better. Have you ever had those moments when you’re listening to good, uplifting music, but the feeling it evoked is getting a little too repetitive? If yes, then maybe it’s time to alternate your playlist to a podcast every now and then. There are tons of self-help podcasts out there tackling various topics such as depression, anxiety, grief, happiness and even making major life decisions.
If you’re a newbie to the world of podcasts, there are several famous self-help podcasts you can check out such as The Hardcore Self-Help Podcast with Duff the Psych by the psychologist Dr. Robert Duff, Happier by the renowned writer Gretchen Rubin, and Hurry Slowly by the writer and editor Jocelyn Glei.
The Hardcore Self-Help Podcast tackles various issues such as coping with mental health and other living disorders without complicated medical jargon. Happier by Gretchen Rubin focuses on maintaining healthier and happier relationships with one’s self and with others. Hurry Slowly by Jocelyn Glei talks about the art of slowing down in order to find calm and peace in everyday life.
3. Give exercising a shot
Everyone has their own reasons why they don’t exercise, from not finding enough time to not having the proper equipment. However, as studies, coaches, trainers, and fitness buffs have reiterated repeatedly, exercising is not only good for your physical health, it is also the best antidote for your mental health.
When you exercise, your body releases a certain chemical called endorphins which reduces the perception of pain in your brain. It also triggers the positive feelings in your body which help relieve feelings of depression.
You don’t need to have your own gym at home to start exercising. There are millions of simple five-minute exercises you can follow on your own even without using any equipment. When you finally get the hang of it, increase your level of difficulty up a notch by doing more vigorous and longer exercise routines! You’ll be amazed by the results it can do to your health and mood!
4. Discover a new hobby or rekindle an old pastime
Was there ever a time when you were doing something and everything else seems to just fade away because you were so immersed in it? If there was, rekindle those old flames and get back to those hobbies you loved doing. An important factor in how to stop feeling sorry for yourself is to immerse yourself completely in doing what you love the most.
Binge-watch your favorite shows. Complete that jigsaw puzzle you’ve always wanted to work on. Dive into the current plant cultivating rave. Whatever it is, pinpoint that one hobby, project, or pastime that uplifts your spirits and get into it!
“Everyone should have a deep-seated interest or hobby to enrich his mind, add zest to living, and perhaps, depending upon what it is, result in a service to his country.” – Dale Carnegie
5. Try talking more positively to yourself
Have you ever heard of the phrase: “Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening” by Lisa Hayes? Nothing is truer than this.
One of the main sources of depression is that irritating voice in our head that kills the mood and drowns out anything that makes us happy. By beating yourself up for every mistake you’ve done or for every bad thing that happened, you are demeaning a portion of yourself. And the more you do it, the more susceptible you are to fall into its trap.
Here’s what you can do instead: every time you look at the mirror, try tuning out that inner voice and talk out aloud. Tell yourself all the positive things you wish to hear. Compliment yourself on how you look and the things you look forward to the most in your day. Once you get the hang of talking positively to yourself, you won’t even need a mirror to do it. Soon, that killjoy inner voice will be replaced by your very own personal motivational coach: yourself.
We know very well that everyone has their own dark and bad days. Everyone undergoes pain and falling into the cycle seems like the easy way out, especially if the circumstances of everyday life never seem to change. You can allow yourself to feel those dark moments to remind yourself that you’re only human with flaws, but never ever allow yourself to succumb to them by following our five simple ways to stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Always thank yourself for holding on to that thin silver lining called hope, for choosing to forgive, and for loving yourself every single day. As Joseph Kennedy once said, “When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.”
What’s the biggest change you’ve made to your life recently? Share your stories with us below!
Success Advice
How Teams Create Their Own Legacy Systems and How to Leave Them Behind
Legacy systems are not only old software left by someone else. Many teams create their own legacy after a fast launch. The product still works, but every change takes longer. People work hard, and delivery still slows down.This article explains how that happens, how to spot it, and how to plan a rewrite without stopping the business.
What a Legacy System Looks Like in Practice
A legacy system is software that costs more to change than it should. Age is not the main test. The real test is whether the team can still deliver at a normal pace.
Common signs are practical. The tech stack is hard for the current team to work with. Unused parts of the product stay in place because nobody is sure what will break. Tests exist, but they do not catch real problems. Only a few people understand how the system works. Small features take several sprints, and the team spends more time fighting the system than improving the product.
When effort goes up and output goes down, the system has become legacy for your team.
How a Fast Start Turns Into Legacy
Many teams do not inherit legacy. They create it while trying to move fast.
A common path looks like this. You need users quickly, so you build on an existing solution instead of starting from scratch. In the first months, that works. You ship. You get feedback. The decision looks smart.
Later, the same decision slows you down. The base system was not built for your roadmap, your team’s skills, or your quality needs. What helped you launch now blocks simple changes.Teams often stay with that base too long because the early result was real. Rewriting feels like throwing away progress. So they keep the old foundation even after it stops helping.
Why Teams Keep Patching
Most teams do not decide to live with legacy. They decide to make one more fix.
A patch looks cheaper and safer than a rewrite. It also avoids a hard discussion about stopping work on the current system. For a while, that can be the right call.
After a point, patches add more complexity than they remove. Each fix creates new constraints. The team spends its best time keeping the old system stable instead of building useful product work.
One clear signal is when a basic feature can no longer reach production in a normal cycle. There may be no major outage. There is just steady delay. At that point, the choice is usually simple: keep paying the cost of the current system, or test a rewrite under clear rules. If delivery has already stalled, some teams also need help to stabilize a software project before the next big decision.
Treat a Rewrite as an Experiment
A full rewrite can fail if it has no limits. Some rewrites never reach users and waste months. That risk is real. Staying in legacy forever has a cost too.
A better approach is to treat the rewrite as an experiment. Set a clear scope for the first version. Review progress every week with demos people can see. Track how much work actually gets finished, not only how busy the team looks. Keep the old system running until the new one is ready. Do not freeze the business while the team rebuilds in private.
This makes the decision easier to manage. Stakeholders can judge real progress. If pace and quality improve, continue. If not, stop before the rewrite becomes its own long project with no end date.
Describe the Product You Want Before You Rebuild
Many rewrite projects fail because the team copies the old system as it is.
Legacy code shows how the product works today. It does not always show why a feature exists, or which parts are leftovers from old decisions. If you rebuild only from the old code, you may also rebuild old bugs and unused paths.
A clearer method is to describe the product you want first. Who uses it. What should happen. What you will leave out. Write that down so business and engineering share the same scope. Then decide how to build it.
This matters even more when teams can generate code quickly. Fast output without a clear product description can create a new legacy system sooner. Speed helps only when the goal is clear and shared.
Keep the Old System Running Until the New One Is Ready
Leaving a legacy system does not mean turning it off on day one. Customers still need a working product.Keep the old system live while the new one is built and checked. Release small pieces that prove the new system works. Review quality and pace often. Switch when the new product can support real use, not when the plan looks good on paper.
The goal is a clean handoff, not a dramatic shutdown.
Conclusion
Legacy is not only software you inherit. It is often software your own fast start created.If the team is busy and delivery keeps slowing down, do not assume another patch will solve it. Look at the cost of staying. If a rewrite makes sense, run it as a short, visible experiment. Describe the product you want. Keep the old system online until the new one can take over.
The useful skill is noticing when the system that once helped you launch now blocks progress, and changing course before that cost gets worse.
Success Advice
Why Efficiency is Overrated (And How to Actually Get Things Done)
If you look at someone like Tim Ferriss, you might assume he is a hyper-productive, super-optimized efficiency machine. After all, he authored The 4-Hour Workweek and built a massive empire around deconstructing world-class performance.
But according to Ferriss, if you were to act as a fly on the wall in his house, he would often look like he is “doing a whole lot of nothing” or flailing like a “drowning monkey.”
The truth is, Ferriss isn’t obsessed with efficiency. He is obsessed with effectiveness. And there is a massive difference between the two.
In a recent deep-dive interview, Ferriss broke down how he structures his life, why he relies on “mini-retirements” to prevent burnout, and the exact protocols he uses to pull himself out of a low mood.
Efficiency vs. Effectiveness: The Ultimate Trap
Most people are trapped in the default mode of the universe: productivity theater. They do things that pass as productive to themselves and others (“Look at how busy I am!”), but they aren’t actually moving the needle.
- Effectiveness is what you do.
- Efficiency is how you do it.
As Ferriss explains, doing something well does not make it important. If you choose the wrong task and execute it flawlessly, you have wasted your time. It is far better to choose the absolute highest-leverage task (the “lead domino” that knocks over everything else) and execute it at a B-minus level than to efficiently accomplish tasks that don’t matter.
“If you’re running a marathon, you’re not going to take a taxi from point A to point B. Sure, that’ll be efficient, but that sort of defeats the purpose of the whole exercise,” Ferriss says.
How to Choose the Right Projects (The “Successful Failure” Method)
If what you work on is more important than how you work on it, how do you choose what to tackle? Ferriss uses a very specific filter for evaluating 3-to-6-month projects: “Can I succeed even if I fail?”
When evaluating opportunities, he chooses the projects that will allow him to develop rare skills or deepen valuable relationships, regardless of the external outcome.
When he launched his podcast in 2014, people told him it was too late. But he didn’t care about immediate external success; he used the podcast as a tool to reduce his verbal ticks, improve his interviewing skills for future books, and build deeper relationships with friends. Even if the podcast had “failed” commercially, he would have succeeded in leveling up his personal operating system.
The Architecture of a High-Leverage Day
Ferriss doesn’t rigidly structure every minute of his day. Instead, he focuses on a weekly architecture. By setting rigid days for specific tasks (e.g., all team calls on Tuesdays, all recordings on Mondays and Fridays), he creates a scaffolding that absorbs the chaos of daily life.
When it comes to his daily routine, he follows two main rules:
- Do Not Rush the First Hour: If he feels rushed in the morning, he will feel rushed all day.
- State, Story, Strategy: To change his mindset, he starts with his physical state. He uses a 3-to-5-minute cold plunge immediately upon waking to release norepinephrine, followed by a hot tub for hyper-dilation. This state change creates a more enabling internal “story,” which allows him to formulate a better “strategy” for the day.
“If you can single-task for two to three hours a day… you’re going to be ahead of 90% of the population,” Ferriss advises.
Managing Low Mood and Hypervigilance
Even top performers battle anxiety, rumination, and low mood. Ferriss refers to his mind as a “border collie”—if you leave it inside too long, it will chew the couch.
To prevent depressive spirals, Ferriss relies on a few non-negotiable protocols:
- Prophylactic Scheduling: An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Ferriss schedules regular group dinners with friends and multiple week-long group trips a year to ensure he always has something to look forward to.
- Identity Diversification: If your podcast, startup, or job is the sole barometer of your self-worth, you are incredibly vulnerable. Ferriss diversifies his identity through rock climbing, archery, writing, and investing. If his business has a terrible week but he hits a PR in the gym, his overall week is still a win.
- Protecting Sleep: Ferriss notes that his low moods are almost always preceded by compromised sleep and excessive caffeine intake.
Beware the “High Achiever Complex”
When operating in a permissionless environment (where you can work whenever and wherever you want), the biggest risk is that you will end up working all the time.
Ferriss combats this by taking mini-retirements—scheduling 3 to 4 weeks where he is entirely offline.
“If you do that, you have to set up systems and policies that will persist after you return,” Ferriss explains. If your business requires your constant input, it is broken. Stepping away forces you to build systems that scale, ultimately saving you from your own desire to constantly be in control.
In the end, you are going to die with items left on your to-do list. Stop trying to efficiently clear the deck, and start focusing on the few critical actions that actually make you feel alive.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Tim Ferriss 11 years ago:
Success Advice
How to Achieve Massive Success Without Crushing Your Soul
Most highly ambitious people suffer from a dangerous illusion: the belief that if they can just achieve one more milestone—a funding round, a promotion, an exit—they will finally feel like they are enough.
Entrepreneurs and leaders will sacrifice their sleep, relationships, and sanity to reach that distant horizon. But when the big payday or the massive accolade finally arrives, a terrifying reality sets in: nothing changes. The external world shifted, but the internal emptiness remained. Trying to find internal validation through external achievement is like drinking saltwater to quench your thirst; it seems like it will work, but it only leaves you thirstier.
High achievers are always playing two games in parallel:
- The External Game: Your career, your income, your accolades, and your status.
- The Internal Game: Your relationship with yourself, your peace, and your self-worth.
You can have white-hot ambition, make incredible money, and build a meaningful legacy without burning out. But to win without crushing your soul, you must master metacognition—the ability to reflect on and control your own thinking.
Here are three profound internal shifts you must make to beat high achiever burnout and build a life you actually enjoy.
1. Fire Your Internal Coach
Most ambitious people are driven by a ruthless inner monologue. This internal “coach” constantly whispers that your value is strictly tied to your performance. If you fail, you are worthless.
Many high achievers justify this abusive inner voice. They believe it gives them their edge and keeps them motivated. But if you step back and truly observe that voice, you will notice something profound: your inner critic rarely offers actionable solutions or brilliant ideas. It only offers fear.
That toxic internal coach is simply your own fear incarnated—fear of failure, fear of rejection, and fear of not being enough. Worse, this doesn’t just hurt you. When you operate from a place of self-loathing and fear, you project that negativity onto your team, your business partners, and your family.
You cannot cultivate healthy relationships with others if your relationship with yourself is toxic. To reach the next level of leadership, you must fire that coach. Give yourself permission to stop beating yourself up, and consciously shift from being your own harshest critic to being your strongest ally.
2. Pull the Nails Out of Your Head
Imagine a person complaining about a blinding, chronic headache while completely ignoring the obvious iron nail sticking out of their forehead.
In business and in life, we all accumulate metaphorical nails. Your nail is the obvious problem you are actively avoiding. It might be a co-founder relationship that has turned toxic. It might be a failing product line you are too stubborn to cut. It might be a destructive personal habit, or a deep-seated trauma you have refused to address.
We leave these nails in our heads for one simple reason: pulling them out hurts.
To reach the next peak of success, you have to realize that growth is not a straight upward line. To get off a stagnant plateau, you must first traverse a valley. If you fire a toxic client, you will face temporary financial stress. If you quit a bad habit, you will face temporary discomfort.
Something has to get worse before it gets better. But everything you truly want is on the other side of that temporary valley. Facing your fears and pulling out the nails is a superpower. Endure the short-term pain, and watch how fast you elevate once you are finally free of the friction.
3. Trust Your Second Voice
The voice of fear and criticism is not the only voice in your head. You have a second voice—your intuition.
Unlike your inner critic, your intuition does not speak through panic or fear; it speaks through energy. Energy is the language of your true ambition.
When you think about a project you feel obligated to do out of societal pressure, your energy lags. You feel a heavy sense of dread. But when you think about an idea you are secretly terrified of but deeply passionate about, your energy spikes. You feel electricity.
In almost every major business or life decision, you already know the answer. Your intuition has already told you what to do; your hesitation is simply a negotiation with your fear.
How do you conquer that fear? Write it down. Fears are incredibly dangerous when they lurk as nebulous clouds in your subconscious. When you put them on paper, they lose their paralyzing power. They cease to be monsters and simply become standard problems to be solved. And as an entrepreneur, you are an expert at solving problems.
Stop Waiting for the Destination
It is easy to look at the grind of building a business and think, “I’ll be happy when I finally sell this company,” or “I’ll relax when we hit $10 million in ARR.”
But the point of the journey is not the destination. The point of the flight is not simply to land; it is to experience the magic of being in the air.
Stop postponing your happiness for a future that is not guaranteed. Fire your toxic internal coach, do the hard work of pulling out your nails, and follow the energy of your intuition. You have already arrived. You are living in the “good old days” right now—make sure you are actually present enough to enjoy them.
Here is a great speech by Graham Weaver about How to Win Without Crushing Your Soul
Success Advice
Why Your Morning Routine Needs a Document System, Not Just a To-Do List
Most morning routines are built around a mindset. A journal entry, a cold shower, ten minutes of stretching, or a fixed order for coffee and email, each one designed to start the day with focus. What almost never makes that list is the paperwork already sitting in your inbox from yesterday: the contract still needing a signature, the invoice a client asked you to resend, the intake form HR needs before nine o’clock.
A checklist can remind you these tasks exist, but it cannot tell you where the file lives, what format it needs to be in, or how many versions sit on your desktop already. That gap is why a document system matters more than one more app for tracking tasks.
The Piece Most Routines Skip
A to-do list can capture a single line such as send the signed lease, but the real work behind that line is gathering three or four separate files into one place first. A simple habit handles this well: before opening email, pull yesterday’s scans, forwarded attachments, and signed pages together into one working file. Open a PDF combiner to merge those pieces into a single document, and the visible task, actually sending the file, only takes as long as it should.
This is not just about signatures or contracts. Recurring items such as monthly reports, vendor invoices, and reference documents pile up the same way, and a five-minute pass each morning keeps them from becoming a bigger cleanup later in the week.
This is not a small pocket of wasted time either. The most recent Bureau of Labor Statistics time use data groups tasks like filling out paperwork together with other household management activities such as cooking and yard work, and finds that adults spend close to two hours a day on that broader category. A five-minute document habit each morning is a modest trade against that total, and it moves the drag to the start of the day instead of letting it bleed into everything after.
A Three-Layer System That Fits in Fifteen Minutes
A working system for morning paperwork does not need folders inside folders. Three layers cover almost everything:
- Needs action today: Anything someone is waiting on, like a contract to sign or a form due before noon, gets handled first.
- Reference only: Files you might need to check but do not have to touch, such as a signed agreement from last month, stay in a folder you can search instead of one you have to scroll through.
- Archive: Anything finished and no longer active moves out of daily view completely, so it stops competing for attention with today’s work.
These three buckets take less time to sort into than most people spend deciding what to have for breakfast.
Three Small Habits That Make It Stick
None of this needs new software training or a rebuilt inbox. A few small habits carry most of the weight.
- Keep one working file: Combine incoming pages into a single document each morning instead of juggling several attachments across separate emails.
- Check who needs access, not just who has the file: Confirm the person waiting on a document (a client, a coworker, a new hire) can open it under their own account, since being able to share a PDF on any device matters more than which laptop or phone you used to finish it.
- Close the loop by noon: Move anything finished into reference or archive so tomorrow’s list starts smaller instead of longer.
Each habit takes under a minute on its own, and together they keep paperwork from stacking up into a Friday-afternoon problem.
Different Roles, Same Morning Problem
The specifics change by job, but the underlying gap stays the same across roles.
Freelancers often start the day with three or four client threads open at once, each with its own estimate, contract, or invoice version, and a quick merge each morning keeps those from scattering across a downloads folder.
HR staff run into a version of the same problem multiplied across every new hire moving through onboarding at the same time, since offer letters, tax forms, and identification copies all need to land in one file before anything gets filed.
Designers hit it from another angle: client feedback often arrives as a photo of a printed mockup or a screenshot of a marked-up page, and turning those images into one proper document is the real first step before revisions can begin.
None of this calls for a full overhaul of how you work. It just means treating documents as part of the routine instead of an afterthought that shows up once the coffee is gone. Fifteen minutes spent sorting real files into a real structure each morning saves more time by lunch than another motivational routine ever will, and it is the difference between reacting to paperwork all day and starting ahead of it for once.
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