Life
5 Steps to Silence the Chaos Within Yourself and Achieve Self-Control
Although the outside world might be calm and fetching, there will always be a certain desperation within your mind that prevents your world from being so. This constant fear for unexpected and uncomfortable situations always hides in the back of your head and prevents you from pursuing your true desires.
We do indeed possess chaos within ourselves. A chaos that obstructs our road to self revelation. Sadly, as our society constantly generates new norms to worry about, the insecurity among men increases rapidly.
The uncertainty of what’s expected from one forces men to neglect their dreams and settle with that which is just ok. It has become severely underrated to chase your dreams, and our own society is the one to blame for this.
However, if you manage to break this circle and gain control of your restless mind, you might break free from the boundaries of our society, and consequently enable yourself to chase your true desires in life.
Here are 4 things you need to do to gain self-control:
1. Know yourself
The most crucial requirement for gaining control of yourself is to know yourself. If you don’t know your weaknesses and strengths, you won’t be able to adapt yourself to the surroundings and situations you might run into.
Self-knowledge is the key to control your impulsive acting and emotional control. It’s therefore essential for you to be completely honest with yourself and evaluate the potential outcome of any situation by your own personal means.
For example; if you’re a guy that easily gets caught up in the insignificant details of your work, it might be beneficial for you to give yourself some working space. Avoid setting deadlines that are too early for you.
This way you won’t start stressing out, and will attain a more controlled and relaxed way of working. This will eventually improve the outcome of your work.
2. Look at the big picture
According to several studies, self-control is encouraged to a great extent when abstract or high-level thinking is prioritised. Being able to see the big picture of situations helps people attain control of their reactions, as it makes them see the insignificance of the problem they’re currently facing.
When such thinking is attained, one will focus on the greater things, and consequently neglect the fears that are currently controlling your mind.
Whether it’s the goal you might achieve, or the problems you previously have overcome, you will, through this type of thinking, gain motivation. Which further can be directly linked to self-control.
“Details create the big picture.” – Sanford I. Weill
3. Avoid decision fatigue
Just as your self-control has great infliction on the decisions you make, the quantity and quality of the available decisions inflicts your self-control to a great extent. If you manage to create a system where you constantly are fed new ways to deal with problems and tasks, you will avoid running out of options, thus resulting in a constant upper hand of any situation.
You will indeed achieve self-control like nobody else.The best way to do this is to never neglect any option. You should always consider every possibility before making a move, and start to plan out the best solutions even before the situation occurs.
In addition to this, you should never hesitate when making decisions. Impulsive acting will only lower your chances of steering things in your direction. This is a common mistake among men.
My best advice to you is to be open minded and calm to avoid decision fatigue and consequently increase your level of self-control.
4. Avoid temptation
Temptation is the number one reason for impulsive acting and lowered self control. It’s not something you’re able to control, and the reason for this lies in the profound of your creation – your genetics. You are actually designed to chase your desires, and are programmed to follow through, regardless of the outcome. Therefore avoiding temptations might be the most effective step in your searching for self-control.
However, avoiding temptations requires determination, neglection of intrusive, as well as a sense of long term thinking. You must avoid being exposed to temptation, and if this fails, you must have the determination to neglect that which is tempting you. If you’re able to do this, you will possess a great advantage on your way towards self-control.
“The biggest human temptation is to settle for too little.” – Thomas Merton
5. Set only perfect goals
Although this might seem over exaggerated, I can’t state how important the quality of your goals are. The process of your work is determined by this, which means that if your goal isn’t perfect, your work towards it won’t be perfect either.
Of course, it sounds hard to set a perfect goal. However, in reality it’s not. All you need to do is to check out my article on how to set your goals. It will tell you how to set your goals accordingly with your intentions and possibilities, and how to properly follow them up.
When you know your goals in life and the traits they provide you, nothing can take your mind off it. When you reach this state of mind you will fulfil all the requirements to attain self-control. For then, you will be your only focus.
Which one of these are you going to focus more on today? Leave your thoughts below!
Image courtesy of Twenty20.com
Life
9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World
Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.
Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.
Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”
But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.
Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.
Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.
1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse
As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.
Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.
Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:
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Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.
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Read quality literature in your free time.
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Nurture a strong relationship with your family.
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Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.
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Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.
The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.
2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay
You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.
If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.
3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome
Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.
You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.
The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.
4. Rejection Is Never Personal
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.
Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.
5. Women Value Comfort and Security
Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.
Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.
Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.
6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons
A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.
Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.
Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.
7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form
Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.
If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.
8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise
Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.
Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.
Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.
9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams
One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.
That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.
Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.
Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.
Final Thoughts
The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.
Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.
Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.
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