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5 Steps to Silence the Chaos Within Yourself and Achieve Self-Control



self control

Although the outside world might be calm and fetching, there will always be a certain desperation within your mind that prevents your world from being so. This constant fear for unexpected and uncomfortable situations always hides in the back of your head and prevents you from pursuing your true desires.

We do indeed possess chaos within ourselves. A chaos that obstructs our road to self revelation. Sadly, as our society constantly generates new norms to worry about, the insecurity among men increases rapidly.

The uncertainty of what’s expected from one forces men to neglect their dreams and settle with that which is just ok. It has become severely underrated to chase your dreams, and our own society is the one to blame for this.

However, if you manage to break this circle and gain control of your restless mind, you might break free from the boundaries of our society, and consequently enable yourself to chase your true desires in life.

Here are 4 things you need to do to gain self-control:

1. Know yourself

The most crucial requirement for gaining control of yourself is to know yourself. If you don’t know your weaknesses and strengths, you won’t be able to adapt yourself to the surroundings and situations you might run into.

Self-knowledge is the key to control your impulsive acting and emotional control. It’s therefore essential for you to be completely honest with yourself and evaluate the potential outcome of any situation by your own personal means.

For example; if you’re a guy that easily gets caught up in the insignificant details of your work, it might be beneficial for you to give yourself some working space. Avoid setting deadlines that are too early for you.

This way you won’t start stressing out, and will attain a more controlled and relaxed way of working. This will eventually improve the outcome of your work.

2. Look at the big picture

According to several studies, self-control is encouraged to a great extent when abstract or high-level thinking is prioritised. Being able to see the big picture of situations helps people attain control of their reactions, as it makes them see the insignificance of the problem they’re currently facing.

When such thinking is attained, one will focus on the greater things, and consequently neglect the fears that are currently controlling your mind.

Whether it’s the goal you might achieve, or the problems you previously have overcome, you will, through this type of thinking, gain motivation. Which further can be directly linked to self-control.

“Details create the big picture.” – Sanford I. Weill

3. Avoid decision fatigue

Just as your self-control has great infliction on the decisions you make, the quantity and quality of the available decisions inflicts your self-control to a great extent. If you manage to create a system where you constantly are fed new ways to deal with problems and tasks, you will avoid running out of options, thus resulting in a constant upper hand of any situation.

You will indeed achieve self-control like nobody else.The best way to do this is to never neglect any option. You should always consider every possibility before making a move, and start to plan out the best solutions even before the situation occurs.

In addition to this, you should never hesitate when making decisions. Impulsive acting will only lower your chances of steering things in your direction. This is a common mistake among men.

My best advice to you is to be open minded and calm to avoid decision fatigue and consequently increase your level of self-control.

4. Avoid temptation

Temptation is the number one reason for impulsive acting and lowered self control. It’s not something you’re able to control, and the reason for this lies in the profound of your creation – your genetics. You are actually designed to chase your desires, and are programmed to follow through, regardless of the outcome. Therefore avoiding temptations might be the most effective step in your searching for self-control.

However, avoiding temptations requires determination, neglection of intrusive, as well as a sense of long term thinking. You must avoid being exposed to temptation, and if this fails, you must have the determination to neglect that which is tempting you. If you’re able to do this, you will possess a great advantage on your way towards self-control.

“The biggest human temptation is to settle for too little.” – Thomas Merton

5. Set only perfect goals

Although this might seem over exaggerated, I can’t state how important the quality of your goals are. The process of your work is determined by this, which means that if your goal isn’t perfect, your work towards it won’t be perfect either.

Of course, it sounds hard to set a perfect goal. However, in reality it’s not. All you need to do is to check out my article on how to set your goals. It will tell you how to set your goals accordingly with your intentions and possibilities, and how to properly follow them up.

When you know your goals in life and the traits they provide you, nothing can take your mind off it. When you reach this state of mind you will fulfil all the requirements to attain self-control. For then, you will be your only focus.

Which one of these are you going to focus more on today? Leave your thoughts below!

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Ryan Steele is a blogger on the field of masculinity. With his companion, Stig Eriksen, he runs the consulting website The website seeks to improve the masculine image of its readers through thoughtful articles about lifting, success, identity and women. Check out his article “Quotes for men”.

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