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5 Steps to Silence the Chaos Within Yourself and Achieve Self-Control

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Although the outside world might be calm and fetching, there will always be a certain desperation within your mind that prevents your world from being so. This constant fear for unexpected and uncomfortable situations always hides in the back of your head and prevents you from pursuing your true desires.

We do indeed possess chaos within ourselves. A chaos that obstructs our road to self revelation. Sadly, as our society constantly generates new norms to worry about, the insecurity among men increases rapidly.

The uncertainty of what’s expected from one forces men to neglect their dreams and settle with that which is just ok. It has become severely underrated to chase your dreams, and our own society is the one to blame for this.

However, if you manage to break this circle and gain control of your restless mind, you might break free from the boundaries of our society, and consequently enable yourself to chase your true desires in life.

Here are 4 things you need to do to gain self-control:

1. Know yourself

The most crucial requirement for gaining control of yourself is to know yourself. If you don’t know your weaknesses and strengths, you won’t be able to adapt yourself to the surroundings and situations you might run into.

Self-knowledge is the key to control your impulsive acting and emotional control. It’s therefore essential for you to be completely honest with yourself and evaluate the potential outcome of any situation by your own personal means.

For example; if you’re a guy that easily gets caught up in the insignificant details of your work, it might be beneficial for you to give yourself some working space. Avoid setting deadlines that are too early for you.

This way you won’t start stressing out, and will attain a more controlled and relaxed way of working. This will eventually improve the outcome of your work.

2. Look at the big picture

According to several studies, self-control is encouraged to a great extent when abstract or high-level thinking is prioritised. Being able to see the big picture of situations helps people attain control of their reactions, as it makes them see the insignificance of the problem they’re currently facing.

When such thinking is attained, one will focus on the greater things, and consequently neglect the fears that are currently controlling your mind.

Whether it’s the goal you might achieve, or the problems you previously have overcome, you will, through this type of thinking, gain motivation. Which further can be directly linked to self-control.

“Details create the big picture.” – Sanford I. Weill

3. Avoid decision fatigue

Just as your self-control has great infliction on the decisions you make, the quantity and quality of the available decisions inflicts your self-control to a great extent. If you manage to create a system where you constantly are fed new ways to deal with problems and tasks, you will avoid running out of options, thus resulting in a constant upper hand of any situation.

You will indeed achieve self-control like nobody else.The best way to do this is to never neglect any option. You should always consider every possibility before making a move, and start to plan out the best solutions even before the situation occurs.

In addition to this, you should never hesitate when making decisions. Impulsive acting will only lower your chances of steering things in your direction. This is a common mistake among men.

My best advice to you is to be open minded and calm to avoid decision fatigue and consequently increase your level of self-control.

4. Avoid temptation

Temptation is the number one reason for impulsive acting and lowered self control. It’s not something you’re able to control, and the reason for this lies in the profound of your creation – your genetics. You are actually designed to chase your desires, and are programmed to follow through, regardless of the outcome. Therefore avoiding temptations might be the most effective step in your searching for self-control.

However, avoiding temptations requires determination, neglection of intrusive, as well as a sense of long term thinking. You must avoid being exposed to temptation, and if this fails, you must have the determination to neglect that which is tempting you. If you’re able to do this, you will possess a great advantage on your way towards self-control.

“The biggest human temptation is to settle for too little.” – Thomas Merton

5. Set only perfect goals

Although this might seem over exaggerated, I can’t state how important the quality of your goals are. The process of your work is determined by this, which means that if your goal isn’t perfect, your work towards it won’t be perfect either.

Of course, it sounds hard to set a perfect goal. However, in reality it’s not. All you need to do is to check out my article on how to set your goals. It will tell you how to set your goals accordingly with your intentions and possibilities, and how to properly follow them up.

When you know your goals in life and the traits they provide you, nothing can take your mind off it. When you reach this state of mind you will fulfil all the requirements to attain self-control. For then, you will be your only focus.

Which one of these are you going to focus more on today? Leave your thoughts below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Ryan Steele is a blogger on the field of masculinity. With his companion, Stig Eriksen, he runs the consulting website Enhance-Masculinity.com. The website seeks to improve the masculine image of its readers through thoughtful articles about lifting, success, identity and women. Check out his article “Quotes for men”.

Life

How to Write a Personal Destiny Statement in 3 Steps

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We all have a God-given destiny to fulfill that we were each born with. I personally believe it is buried deep down within us. The number one secret to success is to let it emerge out of you and release it to the world. What is my destiny you may ask? It is the thing you would regret not doing before leaving Planet Earth. (more…)

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Don’t Want To Feel Like A Failure Anymore? Stop Doing These 6 Things

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It’s pretty annoying isn’t it? All those great and accomplished people telling you that FAILURE is a necessity on your way to success. Yeah, that’s easy for them to say; they’re already ‘on the other side’! You on the other hand, are still struggling all day everyday to get your business lifted off the ground and are really not that sure if you’re indeed going to make it.

There’s that little voice in your head that keeps telling you that you don’t have the stuff to make it all happen. Not now and not ever. You feel like a failure…it’s holding you back and you don’t know how to deal with it. Well you could do yourself a favor and start dealing with it by doing the following things:

1. Stop Denying You Feel Like A Failure

Telling yourself things are going great when they’re not is one of the biggest, though most useless, coping mechanisms human beings deploy in rough times. Common denial signals among entrepreneurs: trying to regain more control by working even more hours and on the other side compensating this by letting go of all this control by partying and drinking way too hard.

What you’re doing is denying yourself the opportunity to actually feel what’s going on and acknowledge the problem; that both you and your business are in a bad place. Without acknowledging it, it’ll be pretty difficult to actually STOP feeling it. And remember, just because you feel like a failure, this does not mean that you indeed ARE a failure!

2. Stop Making It Bigger Than it Really Is

This is one of those other ‘fun’ things human beings do; we blow things way out of proportion in our heads! In business, when you lose that big client you’ve been working on for weeks, it feels like it’s the end of the world. You start doubting yourself, your strategy, your entire business model right up to the point where you barely sleep because you’re working on pivoting the whole thing.

But what if that customer simply didn’t have the money to go for your service anyway? Or what if they just decided to go for someone who is cheaper but who offers less quality? Does that mean there’s something wrong with YOU? Or that this was the ONLY customer out there and that you’re now doomed forever?

Of course not, it simply means that THIS CUSTOMER wasn’t a match. It’s a bit like dating actually…So if you take this into consideration, could it be that you just feel like a failure instead of really not succeeding in that what you want to at this point in time?

3. Stop Thinking You’re The Only One Who Feels Like This

You’re not! With the possible exception of the true sociopaths, that feeling you’re feeling is very normal to EVERYONE. It might not seem like it on the outside – because people don’t like to acknowledge this remember – but I can guarantee you that it’s true. But unlike 99% of the world’s population, YOU’RE not going to let this feeling stop you in your tracks. Are you?

4. Stop Thinking You’re Supposed To Be Superhuman

In fact, it’s very likely that you’re already doing, learning and succeeding at WAY more than most other people are. But for entrepreneurs, somehow, that never seems to be enough. You don’t just want to be successful after a few years of hard work (which is normal). You want to be successful after only a few months. Because you’re special…or at least you think you are…

Well, here’s the truth: you ARE special! But…it’s just not very likely that you’re one of those – very very rare – entrepreneurial superstars that – seemingly – just added some hot water and got instant business success as a result.

5. Stop Being So Incredibly Stubborn

Entrepreneurs are stubborn…almost by default. It’s what makes them push forward in the hardest of times. But…if you’re not doing the right things right you might just be hammering a square peg through a round hole. Which will only add to that frustrated feeling you’re already having. So why not stop being so stubborn for a moment, stop hammering away on that what obviously is not working and ask for help?

No matter who you ask – a business mentor or coach, a befriended entrepreneur – someone with a neutral perspective on you and our business will be very likely to see what’s going on with a lot more clarity than you can and can guide you to a place that will feel a whole lot more comfortable.

6. Stop Being Afraid Of Failure

I know, I know, you’ve heard this a million times before and you wouldn’t be in this pickle if you could do this. Right? I’m right there with ya!

But, if you get really rational about it, what’s the worst that could happen?

  • You might have to get a ‘real’ job for a while and start over on the side;
  • You might not be able to afford your rent anymore…but with Airbnb on the 1 hand and couchsurfing on the other, you should be able to work it out somehow;
  • You’ll have all the more experience to start over a whole lot faster;
  • You’ll be no less respected by anyone because it’s clear you gave it your all;
  • In a few years, when you’re an established and supersuccessful entrepreneur you’ll also have a cool failure story to tell;
  • None of your limbs will fall off;

Now that’s not too bad for a plan B is it? Failure is such a negative word. And the associated feeling is terrible and numbing. But really…how is giving it your all and not succeeding really the same as failing? Shouldn’t the definition of failure not be along the lines of ‘not even trying’ or ‘giving up when it gets hard’?

In other words: stop beating yourself up over this!

There’s really no need to feel like a failure at all because you’re sticking your neck out, you’re trying to make a difference and you’re still moving upward on that treacherous entrepreneurial mountain.

And that…is what success REALLY is.

Those Who Failed Their Way To Success

Quotes To Live By:

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy

“If you don’t try at anything, you can’t fail… it takes back bone to lead the life you want” – Richard Yates

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison

“We are all failures – at least the best of us are.” – J.M. Barrie

“Success is stumbling form failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm” – Winston Churchill

“Don’t let success go to your head and failure to your heart” – Will Smith

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Life

Why You Never Have Enough Time and What You Need to Do About It

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Has this ever happened to you? You had an assignment, and the deadline was far away. You didn’t work on it much, but in the back of your mind, that insistent little voice was always whispering, “I gotta get this assignment done.” (more…)

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Life

6 Unusual Exercises to Effectively Increase Your Creativity Faster Than Ever

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Although a vast majority of people think that creativity is something you are born with, the truth is a bit different. While we cannot deny that you need natural talent to a certain extent, stimulating creative thinking is indeed a matter of practice. If you give this thought a bit of thinking, you can realize pretty quickly that even the most fascinating and creative minds have faced the lack of creativity at some point in their lives. (more…)

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