Connect with us

Life

4 Ways You Can Improve Your Self-Esteem Without Sabotaging Yourself

Published

on

improve self esteem

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and in case you’ve never been told, “sorry is a weak word.” You might even think your problem is unique and no one will ever know how you feel on the inside, but you know what?

Most of the time, people are all struggling with some basic problem and you’re not alone. You’re not the only one struggling from depressing moods and remain unhappy. You’re not the only one who receives bullying at school or suffering from a poor family relationship.

Moreover, you’re not the only one suffering from depression and low self-esteem. Almost everyone faces crucial problems such as deep pain, sadness, and self-doubt. Nevertheless, the feeling of not finding the motivation to do anything and the feeling of being in the darkest days of your life is insidious.

It gnaws at your social life, eating, studying, confidence, and, in other words, practically everything. It even causes talented people to give up and feel that the whole world has turned its back on them. And that’s why that needs to stop now.

If you want to improve your self-esteem, stay in a good mood, and become a happier person during every day of your life, here are some tips you need to put in place:

1. Accept The Fact That You’re In Charge Of Your Life

The fact is, in your life journey, you’re the one in the driver’s seat; you’re the one who makes the decision on what direction to drive every day of your life.

You might see people waving their hands on the road, asking you for a lift through your life’s journey, but you’re the one who makes the decision if you are going to help them or not.

Whenever there is an occasion that might lead to an accident and you’re only left with two options to make, you’re the one who gets to make the decision whether to dodge to the left or to the right.

The people inside the car might pull at you, some might give a shout, saying that turning to the left side is the correct way, but you’re the one who makes the decision and you will be the one to take responsibility for whatever happens to you.

Lil Wayne wrote: “you can play a role in my life, but not the lead.” If you understand this, you will grow. If you don’t, you will end up becoming what people want you to become instead of becoming what you want to become!

So start right now, make a pledge to yourself to take responsibility for whatever has happened to you in the past and resolve that from now on for any decision or situation, you’ll always remember and accept that you’re the one in control.

“Only you can control your future.” – Dr. Seuss

2. Join The 20% At The Top

The top 20% of the people in our society, earn and control 80% of the assets. According to Forbes and the Wall Street Journal, the top 1% of Americans earns and controls as much as 33% of the assets.

And the most interesting part of the discovery is that most millionaires, billionaires, and multi-billionaires started with nothing. In fact, they were once in the bottom 20% and worked their way up to the top 20%.

How did this set of people work their way to the top? Could it be a sort of super magic work? The truth is that they began to do something different with their lives, and in time, they start learning and doing the things that other successful people were doing.

You can also join the top 20% of the people in your society by doing something different that will make you stand out from the crowd. No one becomes excellent by accident; excellence requires a definite decision and a life-long commitment. So what others have done, you can do as well.

 

3. Learn The 3% Rule

Here’s a secret the big boys at the top will never tell you. However, the fact is that successful people do have a life-long formula that helps them grow quickly and keeps them in good shape for every day of their life-long commitment.

And the secret is that they make a decision to invest a certain amount of their income into their life. But here’s the one that has worked perfectly for majority of successful people. They simply invest 3% of their income into their life.

You can do this monthly or annually, whatever seems to work the best for you. If your annual income is $50,000 resolve to invest 3% of this income or $1500 into yourself.

So how on earth do you invest 3% of your income into your life? First, write down everything you think that will quickly help you achieve your goals. Then spend the 3% investment in yourself by purchasing all the materials that will help you learn and to quickly progress toward achieving your goals.

You can buy books, go to seminars, buy audio tapes, or hire a mentor. Whatever you think will help you swiftly proceed toward achieving your goals. This could be the best self-rewarding habit that you can ever teach yourself. Put this into practice now and see the new person you’ve become.

 

4. Strive To Become The Best

This means learning how to follow the leaders instead of following the followers. Make a list of the people you admire most. Ask yourself why you admire them and what you can do to become like them.

Indulge yourself into doing whatever they do, or to do better than they do. For example, Stephen King mentioned in one of his books that he reads at least 70 books a year. Do your best and set a goal of reading 75 to 80 books a year.

You probably understand what I mean now, you see, the key to becoming the best is to find what successful people do and break new ground by becoming someone that does it better.

If you can learn how to put all this into action, you will have done what 70% of the people who read this post won’t do. And I’m guessing that you don’t want to be part of those folks.

The best way to get results is to take action, so start your action now and see how positive you’ll become and what results you will get.

“Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.”            – Tony Robbins

What are you going to commit to today that will help you in the future? Leave your thoughts below!
Advertisement
9 Comments

9 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Published

on

Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
Continue Reading

Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

Continue Reading

Trending