Connect with us

Success Advice

Stop Glorifying “Busy” and Sabotaging Your Goals

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

When was the last time you spontaneously met a friend for coffee? If you’re anything like I used to be, you probably can’t remember when. You’re likely rushing from appointment to appointment, digital calendar and planner in hand… and you’re looking at least three months ahead if you want to squeeze a friend in. Am I right?

If I was to make a guess, I’d say you also probably aren’t working toward the goals and achievements that are highest on your bucket list, either. Somehow you haven’t found time between your job (your boss can’t do without you), your volunteer work (if you don’t do it, it probably won’t get done!) and everything else you’re supposed to be doing.

Being busy makes us feel important and needed. But by saying “yes” to everything, we are also actively sabotaging ourselves, our dreams, and our goals—damaging our mental and physical wellbeing and distracting ourselves from what we really, truly want. 

What is self-sabotage?

Self-sabotage manifests as any thought or behaviour that keeps you from achieving your goals and reaching your vision of success.

For many of us, being busy and focusing on checking off items from those to-do lists pumps up our feelings of self-worth while also distracting us from engaging in meaningful self-care practices. We block ourselves from achieving authentic success by committing to senseless, unfulfilling distractions, day in and day out. This often results in physical symptoms and exhaustion that don’t seem to have a direct cause. 

I used to be one of those people who were so booked up I had to schedule coffee dates three months out. I was always rushing from A to B to Z, crashing hard at night, and then doing it all over again the next day. I tried to be everything to everyone and I defined how good my day was by the number of tasks crossed off on my to-do list.

Although my bosses loved my proactive “get-stuff-done” attitude and I thought my behaviour made me super successful, eventually my body began to suffer. I experienced chronic migraines that derailed my life for days at a time. I was perpetually tired, and I was sick from nausea nearly every day. 

The final straw came when I was eating my third dinner in a row in my car. Surrounded by crushed-up napkins and nauseous with indigestion, I decided something really needed to change. Enough was enough.

“It is not enough to be busy. The question is: what are we busy about?” – Henry David Thoreau

Ditching Your Self-Sabotaging Behavior

Sometimes it takes a while to recognize that we are engaging in destructive patterns. This isn’t surprising, as often it’s our subconscious brain running the show. Although our conscious brain may identify a want or need, there is often a deep-seated subconscious barrier telling us, “This isn’t safe and I don’t like it. Retreat! Retreat!” 

But by becoming aware of this thought pattern and making a few fundamental shifts, we can break through this resistance and change our unproductive behaviour.

1. Schedule fewer events and stop rushing from one thing to the next

I know, I know, this is so obvious, but if you are an overscheduler like I used to be, you need to consciously figure out where you can leave gaps in your schedule. Actress Kate Walsh (of Grey’s Anatomy fame) refers to this as a “ventilated schedule” and I love that term. This practice is essential and yet it’s also not easy.

Make room for downtime in your calendar to recalibrate and reflect (Sundays work well for me), and then—most importantly—do not schedule anything during those times! If anyone asks you to do something or go somewhere, you can tell them that you have a prior commitment (which you do—to yourself!).

2. Only say “Yes” to things in alignment with your goals and values

Take one of those newly unscheduled gaps in your schedule and sit with yourself for a moment. What do you really, truly want out of your life? What goals do you want to accomplish? Are you taking on tasks because they are important to you, personally? Or are you taking on tasks because you want to make other people happy? With this new knowledge in mind, start saying no to the things that don’t push you along your chosen path.

When we say yes to everything that comes along, we are actually saying no to the things that we do want. We are dividing and diluting our energy instead of focusing it on our true goals. We can’t be our best selves and reach real, sustainable success. And being tired and overbooked ensures we are too busy to celebrate any successes we do achieve. You can help eliminate this problem for yourself by carefully considering where you want to invest your time and energy.

3. Recognize that being “busy” is a cultural problem, not your problem

Our society glorifies being so busy we can’t see straight. We celebrate endless checklists and exhaustion in the hope of being seen as productive and reliable employees, friends, volunteers, and parents. But it doesn’t have to be that way, and change starts with you.

Yes, people will push back on your new-found priorities, and you may even second guess yourself when faced with something that you’d normally say yes to. Trust me—unlearning our old habits takes time. I’ve been working on this for quite a while, and even I fail miserably sometimes! But I also know how to get myself back on track ASAP, and you can do that too.

From Self-Sabotaging to Self-Supporting

The truth is that we have to be our own biggest fans and supporters. Stepping back and slowing down is a life-changing exercise that will be your ticket to more fulfillment, happiness, and career success. And although you’ll still face plenty of roadblocks while working toward your chosen goals, you’ll feel more confident knowing that you’re not the one who put them there.

Alana Ruoso is a Success Coach for Designers and Creatives who know deep down that they can do better, but keep falling short of where they want to go. With humor and honesty, Alana shows them how to ditch the struggle, own their value, and move their career from vanilla success to spectacular triumph. In addition to 20 years of experience as a Graphic Designer, Art Director, and Brand Strategist, Alana is a Life & Executive Coach and is a Mentor with Young Women in Business and the Association of Registered Graphic Designers (RGD). To work with Alana, visit www.alanaruoso.com/coaching, or dig into her success tips over at www.alanaruoso.com/dig.

Advertisement
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Entrepreneurs

The Brutal Truth About Entrepreneurship with ADHD (And Why Most Advice Is Making It Worse)

Published

on

Image Credit: Joel Brown - Addicted2success

You’re not lazy. You’re not undisciplined… and you’re definitely not broken.

You’re an entrepreneur with ADHD, and right now you’re probably sitting on 19 unfinished projects, 47 open tabs, and a brain that feels like it’s running on 12 different radio stations at once.

You’ve read the books. You’ve tried the planners, the Pomodoro timers, the accountability groups. You’ve even hired coaches who promised to “fix” your focus. Yet here you are — brilliant ideas, massive potential, and a business that still feels like it’s one step away from collapsing under the weight of your own mind.

Here’s what almost nobody in the entrepreneurial space will admit:

The real struggle isn’t your ADHD. It’s that you’ve been trying to run a neurodivergent brain inside a neurotypical business model — and then beating yourself up when it doesn’t work.

Most advice for entrepreneurs was written by people whose brains work differently. They preach consistency, routines, long-term planning, and steady execution like those things are universal truths. For the ADHD entrepreneur, those “truths” feel like trying to swim upstream in cement. You can force it for a while (and you have), but eventually your brain rebels, the burnout hits, and you’re left feeling like a failure who just needs to “try harder.”

That cycle is quietly destroying more talented founders than cash flow problems or bad hires ever could.

The deeper layer most people never reach is this: your ADHD isn’t a bug in the system. It’s a different operating system entirely. And when you stop trying to install Windows on a Mac and start building everything around macOS, the game changes completely.

The Hidden Addiction That Keeps ADHD Entrepreneurs Stuck

You already know the surface symptoms — time blindness, rejection sensitivity, starting strong and fading fast, shiny object syndrome.

But the real trap is more insidious.

It’s the addiction to chaos and novelty.

Your brain is wired for dopamine. New ideas, big visions, last-minute sprints, high-stakes pressure — these things light you up like nothing else. The boring, repetitive, systems-building work that actually scales a business? It feels like torture.

So unconsciously, you keep your business in a state of controlled chaos. You say yes to too many things. You chase the next exciting opportunity. You avoid building the boring infrastructure because “I work better under pressure anyway.”

And every time the pressure gets too high, you crash, swear you’ll get organized next quarter, and repeat the cycle.

Meanwhile, the neurotypical advice keeps telling you to “just build better habits.” As if your brain is a poorly trained dog that needs more discipline instead of a high-performance race car that needs the right fuel and track.

This isn’t a character flaw. It’s neurology.

And until you stop treating your wiring as something to overcome and start treating it as your greatest strategic advantage, you’ll stay stuck in the same exhausting loop.

The Identity Shift That Changes Everything

The entrepreneurs with ADHD who finally break through don’t “fix” their brains.

They redesign their entire business to work with their brains.

They stop trying to become the consistent, routine-loving founder the gurus talk about. Instead, they become the architect of a system that leverages their natural strengths — hyperfocus, pattern recognition, creative problem-solving, relentless drive under pressure — while outsourcing or automating everything that drains them.

This is the layer most ADHD entrepreneurs never reach because it requires something terrifying: accepting that you are never going to be “normal” at entrepreneurship… and that’s exactly why you can win bigger than most.

Your ability to see connections others miss. Your tolerance for uncertainty. Your capacity to go all-in when something lights you up. These aren’t liabilities. They’re unfair advantages in a world that rewards speed, creativity, and bold moves.

The shift is simple but brutal:

Stop trying to manage your ADHD. Start designing your business around it.

How to Actually Build a Business That Works With Your Brain

  1. Stop fighting your energy cycles — weaponize them. Most ADHD entrepreneurs try to force 8-hour focused days. That’s insane. Instead, track when your brain actually works best (for many it’s 10pm-2am or random 4-hour hyperfocus bursts). Build your schedule around those windows. Protect them like gold. Do the deep, high-leverage work then. Use the low-energy periods for admin, calls, or recovery.
  2. Build “chaos containers,” not rigid systems. Traditional project management tools feel like cages. Create loose but effective structures that give your brain freedom. Use tools like Notion with massive flexibility, or body-doubling (working alongside someone virtually), or even hiring a “chaos wrangler” — an assistant who thrives on turning your scattered ideas into executable plans.
  3. Turn your rejection sensitivity into rocket fuel. That intense fear of letting people down or looking stupid? Channel it into creating ridiculously high standards for your customer experience or product quality. Use it as fuel instead of letting it paralyze you.
  4. Outsource the parts that make you want to die. The execution, follow-through, and maintenance phases are where most ADHD entrepreneurs lose. Hire or partner with people who love the details. Your job is vision, strategy, and big swings. Let someone else own the spreadsheets.
  5. Create external pressure on your own terms. Deadlines and public commitments work wonders for the ADHD brain. Use them strategically — announce launches, create beta groups, or work with coaches who understand neurodivergence instead of fighting it.

The entrepreneurs with ADHD who are quietly crushing it right now aren’t the ones who finally became “disciplined.” They’re the ones who stopped apologizing for how their brain works and started building empires that are specifically engineered for it.

They have teams that handle the boring stuff. They have systems that flex with their energy instead of fighting it. They’ve turned their “flaws” into the exact reasons their businesses stand out.

Your ADHD brain is not the enemy. The enemy was trying to play the game by rules that were never designed for you.

The moment you accept that and start designing everything… your calendar, your team, your offers, your processes — around how you actually operate, the struggle doesn’t disappear… but it becomes manageable, even exhilarating.

You were never meant to fit the mold. You were meant to break it and build something better.

The world doesn’t need another cookie-cutter entrepreneur. It needs the chaotic, brilliant, all-in, slightly unhinged visionaries who can only operate at full power when the game is built for them.

That’s you.

Stop trying to fix yourself. Start building the business that was always meant to be run by a mind like yours.

Your next breakthrough isn’t going to come from working harder or being more consistent. It’s going to come from finally giving yourself permission to work differently.

And when you do that? Watch what happens.

The same brain that once felt like a curse becomes the exact reason your business becomes unstoppable.

You’ve got this. Not despite the ADHD. Because of it.

If you want to learn more from me or send me a personal message I’ll respond to you on Instagram at https://instagram.com/iamjoelbrown speak soon!

Continue Reading

Coaching

The Hidden Addiction That’s Quietly Destroying Most Coaches and Consultants (And the One Shift That Finally Sets You Free)

Published

on

Image Credit: Joel Brown - Addicted2success

You’re damn good at what you do.

Clients have breakthroughs. They send you the late-night voice notes about how you changed their life. Some even credit you with saving their marriage, their business, or their sanity.

Yet here you are… exhausted, trading hours for dollars, wondering why your income hasn’t doubled in the last two years while your calendar is still packed with 1:1 calls.

You’ve tried the funnels. You’ve raised your prices (a little). You’ve posted the content. And still… the business feels heavy. Like you’re carrying every client on your back.

Here’s what almost nobody in this industry will tell you:

You’re not stuck because you lack strategy.

You’re stuck because you’re addicted to being needed.

And that addiction is invisible, socially rewarded, and absolutely lethal to scaling.

Most coaches and consultants entered this work because they genuinely care. They’ve felt the pain of being unseen or unsupported in their own past, so they became the person they once wished existed for them. That empathy is your superpower in the room with a client.

But the same wiring that makes you exceptional at holding space for someone else’s transformation becomes the exact thing that keeps your business small, stressful, and one person away from collapse.

You get a hit of meaning every time a client says “I couldn’t have done this without you.”

Your nervous system registers that as safety, as worth, as proof that you matter.

So unconsciously, you start designing your entire business model to keep getting that hit.

You keep the business one-to-one. You underprice because “I don’t want to make it inaccessible.” You say yes to extra sessions, extra support, extra emotional labor. You resist group programs, courses, or team members because “they need my personal touch.”

Deep down, part of you is terrified that if clients become truly independent — or if the business can run without you in every session — then who are you?

That fear never gets spoken out loud at coaching conferences. But it’s running the show for the majority of talented practitioners I’ve watched plateau for years.

This is the layer most people never reach.

They think the problem is marketing. Or niching. Or offer structure.

Those are symptoms. The root is identity-level.

Your self-worth got quietly fused with being the indispensable helper. And every time you try to scale, that old identity fights back with guilt, procrastination, or the sudden urge to “just help this one more person for free.”

I’ve seen it in coaches making $250k who feel like impostors when they consider $10k offers. I’ve seen consultants who could easily productize their process but keep reinventing the wheel for each new client because it feels more “authentic.” I’ve seen brilliant facilitators burn out at the peak of their success because the business finally demanded they step out of the rescuer role — and they didn’t know who they were without it.

The brutal truth: the very thing that makes you an incredible coach in the moment is quietly sabotaging the empire you’re capable of building.

Because real transformation… the kind you actually teach… is about helping people become self-reliant.

Yet you’re running a business model that keeps you (and them) dependent.

The shift that changes everything is this:

You stop being the hero in every client’s story and start becoming the architect of a system that creates heroes without you in the room.

You move from “I have to be there for every breakthrough” to “I design experiences where breakthroughs happen even when I’m not.”

This isn’t about becoming cold or corporate.

It’s about maturing as a leader.

The coaches who break through to seven and eight figures don’t love their clients any less. They just stop confusing love with over-responsibility. They fall in love with building something that lasts beyond their personal bandwidth.

Here’s what that actually looks like in practice for coaches and consultants:

First, you audit every part of your business for hidden “neediness.” Are you the only one who can deliver the transformation? If yes, you’ve built a job, not a business. Document the process. Record the frameworks. Turn your magic into a repeatable system. Your future self (and your bank account) will thank you.

Second, you raise your prices not because the market will bear it, but because charging what you’re truly worth forces you to stop over-delivering and start trusting your clients to do the work. High-ticket clients step up. Low-ticket clients keep you in rescuer mode.

Third, you build assets that create leverage. Group programs. Online courses. A small team of facilitators who deliver your methodology. A community that supports itself. Every asset you create is proof that you are no longer the single point of failure — and that your impact can actually expand without you burning out.

Fourth, you get brutally honest about your own identity. Ask yourself: “What am I afraid will happen if my clients no longer need me personally?” The answer is usually some version of “I’ll be irrelevant” or “I won’t feel valuable.” Sit with that fear. Feel it. Then choose the new identity anyway: the leader who equips thousands instead of saving dozens.

The coaches who make this shift report something wild: their clients actually get better results.

Because when you stop needing to be needed, you create the conditions for real empowerment. You model the exact independence you’re teaching. And ironically, people become even more loyal to a coach who sets them free instead of keeping them hooked.

This work was never supposed to be a lifetime of 1:1 calls and emotional labor.

It was supposed to be a vehicle for massive, leveraged impact… while you live the freedom you help others create.

The addiction to being needed feels noble. It gets you praise. It feels meaningful in the moment.

But it will quietly keep you small, tired, and secretly resentful while the coaches who break the pattern build something that outlives them.

You already know how to guide people through hard identity shifts.

Now it’s time to guide yourself through the biggest one yet.

Stop being the person your clients can’t live without.

Start becoming the leader they never want to be without.

Your business… and every future client you haven’t even met yet… is waiting for that version of you.

The question is whether you’re finally willing to let the old identity die so the bigger one can be born.

Most won’t.

But you? You’ve built your entire career on helping people do exactly that.

Now do it for yourself.

Continue Reading

Health & Fitness

The Health Planning Habits That Support Long-Term Success

Published

on

Image Credit: Joel Brown - Addicted2success

Most people think about health planning only when something forces them to.

A medical bill arrives unexpectedly. An insurance issue appears during treatment. A diagnosis changes how future care needs are viewed. Suddenly health planning becomes urgent instead of preventative.

The problem is that long-term health stability is usually shaped by smaller habits built quietly over time, not just by major decisions during emergencies.

That includes physical health habits, of course, but it also includes how people approach insurance coverage, preventative care, financial preparation, and long-term healthcare planning before problems become immediate.

The families who navigate healthcare stress most effectively are often not the ones avoiding every issue entirely. More often, they’re the ones who built systems early enough to make difficult situations feel more manageable later.

Consistency Matters More Than Perfection

A lot of health advice still revolves around extreme change.

Perfect diets. Aggressive routines. Complete lifestyle overhauls.

In reality, most long-term health success comes from consistency people can realistically maintain for years instead of months. Small preventative habits tend to matter more than dramatic short-term efforts that collapse under pressure.

That principle applies financially too.

People often spend more time researching investment strategies than understanding their healthcare coverage or preparing for future medical costs. But healthcare instability can disrupt long-term financial plans surprisingly quickly when households are unprepared for how expensive even routine care can become over time.

The practical side of health planning is becoming harder to separate from overall financial planning now than it used to be.

Preventative Planning Reduces More Stress Than People Realize

One overlooked benefit of health planning is emotional stability.

People who understand their coverage, maintain preventative care routines, and think ahead about healthcare decisions often describe feeling less overwhelmed when unexpected situations happen. The goal is not eliminating uncertainty entirely. That’s unrealistic.

The goal is reducing how chaotic healthcare decisions feel under pressure.

That’s one reason broader conversations tied to healthcare and health insurance have expanded significantly over the last several years. Rising costs, changing coverage structures, and increasing healthcare complexity have made long-term planning more important for average households than many people expected.

Healthcare is no longer something most families can comfortably approach reactively forever.

People Underestimate How Quickly Healthcare Costs Compound

One reason health planning habits matter so much is that healthcare costs rarely arrive in one dramatic moment alone.

More often, they build gradually:

  • recurring prescriptions
  • specialist visits
  • ongoing treatment plans
  • insurance deductible increases
  • long-term care considerations
  • unexpected procedures layered on top of existing expenses

Families often absorb these costs incrementally until they realize how much financial pressure accumulated over time.

That gradual buildup is part of what makes proactive planning valuable. People who think ahead about coverage structures, emergency savings, provider networks, and preventative care tend to adapt more smoothly when healthcare needs eventually increase later in life.

The difficult part is that many households delay these conversations because they feel healthy right now.

Healthcare Decisions Have Become More Complicated

Another challenge is that healthcare systems themselves continue evolving quickly.

Insurance structures change. Telehealth expands. Employer-sponsored benefits shift. Prescription pricing fluctuates. Patients now carry more responsibility for understanding deductibles, provider networks, and out-of-pocket exposure than previous generations often did.

That complexity creates decision fatigue.

Even relatively organized households sometimes feel uncertain about whether they’re making good healthcare choices because the systems themselves are difficult to navigate confidently. A lot of current health insurance trends discussions reflect this larger issue, healthcare planning is becoming less about isolated medical events and more about long-term sustainability across entire households.

People want predictability, but healthcare systems increasingly feel harder to predict.

The Most Effective Health Habits Usually Feel Boring

One thing people rarely admit is that good long-term planning habits are often not particularly exciting.

Scheduling preventative appointments. Reviewing insurance annually. Building emergency savings slowly. Staying physically active consistently. Maintaining realistic routines instead of dramatic cycles of burnout and reset.

None of those habits feel dramatic at the moment.

But over long periods, they create stability that becomes incredibly valuable once life gets complicated. The people who navigate healthcare stress most effectively are often the ones who built ordinary systems early instead of waiting for perfect motivation later.

That applies financially and physically at the same time.

Why Long-Term Success Depends on Adaptability

Health planning is ultimately difficult because people’s lives keep changing.

Careers shift. Families grow. Aging parents require support. Medical needs evolve. Financial priorities change over decades in ways nobody predicts perfectly in advance.

That’s why the strongest long-term health planning habits are usually flexible rather than rigid.

The goal is not building a flawless plan that never changes. It’s creating enough structure, awareness, and preparation that future adjustments become manageable instead of overwhelming.

Most people cannot control every future health outcome. They can, however, build habits that make uncertainty easier to navigate when it eventually arrives.

Continue Reading

Entrepreneurs

The Silent Killer of Entrepreneurial Dreams (And How to Make Sure It Never Takes Yours Down)

Published

on

Image Credit: Joel Brown - Addicted2success

You started with fire in your belly. The vision was crystal clear. But somewhere along the way the doubts crept in. The “what if I’m wrong” thoughts. The comparison to everyone else’s highlight reel. The quiet voice that says maybe you should just play it safe and get a real job.

That voice is the silent killer. Not cash flow problems. Not bad hires. Not even market shifts. It’s self-doubt that quietly talks most entrepreneurs out of their biggest breakthroughs.

I’ve been in rooms with founders who’ve raised millions and still battle it daily. The difference between those who push through and those who fold isn’t talent or luck. It’s how they handle the internal noise.

The game-changer is learning to treat doubt as a signal, not a stop sign.

Every time that voice gets loud, it usually means you’re on the edge of something important. Growth lives right outside your comfort zone. The entrepreneurs who scale don’t silence the doubt—they thank it for showing up and then take the next step anyway.

Here’s how to make that practical.

Keep a “proof file.”

Every win, every positive customer note, every metric that moved in the right direction. When doubt hits, open it. Evidence beats emotion every single time. Most founders are terrible at remembering their own wins. They move the goalpost so fast that yesterday’s victory feels ordinary by today. A simple document or folder where you collect proof changes the internal conversation. It becomes harder to believe the doubt when you have a running list of times you were wrong about your own limits.

Surround yourself with people who are playing a bigger game.

Isolation breeds doubt. A strong peer group normalizes the struggle and reminds you you’re not crazy. The entrepreneurial path is full of invisible landmines. Having people who’ve stepped on a few of them—and lived to tell the tale… makes the journey feel less lonely and more possible. Find masterminds, find mentors, find founders a few steps ahead of you who are willing to be honest about the hard parts.

Reframe failure as data.

Every setback is just information about what to do differently next time. The fastest learners treat mistakes like tuition, not tragedy. This doesn’t mean you celebrate failure or become reckless. It means you extract the lesson quickly and move forward without carrying the emotional weight longer than necessary. The founders who win long-term are the ones who fail fast, learn faster, and keep their identity separate from any single outcome.

Get brutally clear on your “why.”

Not the surface-level money or freedom story. The deep one that still lights you up even when the work sucks. Reconnect with it daily. When doubt shows up, it’s often because you’ve lost sight of the deeper reason you started. Spend time with that reason. Write it down. Say it out loud. Let it remind you that the discomfort is temporary and the mission is bigger than the fear.

And finally, give yourself permission to be in process.

Most entrepreneurs compare their chapter one to someone else’s chapter ten. They see the polished results and forget the messy middle that every successful founder had to walk through. Your story isn’t over. It’s not even close. The doubt you feel today might be the exact thing that forces you to get clearer, stronger, and more intentional than you’ve ever been.

The path of entrepreneurship was never meant to feel safe. That’s the whole point. It forces you to become the kind of person who can handle bigger problems and bigger wins. Doubt will show up. It always does. But it doesn’t get to drive.

You do.

Continue Reading

Trending