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4 Things to Remember When Doubters Tell You “You Can’t”

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When you have a dream, you will have doubters. It’s right up there with death and taxes – probably because nobody has to pay taxes or die for doubting. These gleeful killjoys shoot us down before we take off. They say “you can’t” when we thought we can. They make us hesitant when we were sure, silly when we were smart.

External doubt feeds self-doubt; the number one dream-killer as shown in studies. Life and success aren’t about what happens to you, it’s about how you perceive and respond to what happens to you. And doubters happen. They happen fast and hard on your unsuspecting dream. Be ready for them. Better yet, benefit from them. Because, as unthinkable as that sounds, you can.

Here are four ways to give your dreams the benefit of the doubters:

1. Doubters actually care

Don’t hate on those who don’t believe in your dreams, because they might be the very people who love you. Oftentimes, it is those who are closest to us that have the loudest voice of discouragement. This could be your father, your partner, or your best friend.

Sometimes, even your dearest ones cannot see in you what you can see for yourself. They unwittingly project their own self-limitations on you to “protect” you from the pain of failure. A father who has failed in business may urge his entrepreneurial son to “be realistic” and get a “proper” job with a steady paycheck.

The good news is, they want you to succeed. This gives you a chance to turn them into staunch supporters after their initial resistance.

Stay true to your course while making allowance for their advice. Earn their approval and support by addressing their deepest fears about your endeavor. As you progress toward your goals, you’re helping them disprove their assumptions and undo their own limitations too.

“I tend to enjoy proving people wrong.” – Hayley Williams

2. Doubters show you where to improve

Put aside the apparent assault on your ego for a moment and consider what your critics are saying. If you can get over yourself, there’s a lot you can learn there. Take the criticism objectively. Try to find at least one valid point in what they’re saying.

For example, if a headhunter dismisses your aspiration to land a bigger job, she could be 99 percent wrong. The other one percent could be the nugget of insight that will help you. This may be a skill you need, a person whose connection you should make, or better timing to make your move.

The next time you hear others doubting you, find the sliver of truth in their words. Build that into your game plan. You’ll be better for it.

3. Doubters make the best motivation

In his Hall Of Fame speech, Michael Jordan thanked his detractors for the motivation. He credited them for being the driving force behind his legendary work ethic. Jordan was a fierce competitor. He hardly needed any push during his playing career. Yet he chose to turn his doubters into demons he had to slay to prove his greatness.

They were his best motivational buttons and he mashed those poor buttons like a teenager playing NBA2K. Be careful not to invest emotionally in the critics, for they will drain you. It doesn’t matter whether they were being personal or not, as long as you don’t take it personally. Don’t burn out trying to manage others’ opinions of you.

Know that your skeptics cannot define you, unless you allow them. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Turn their action into a positive, powerful reaction that works in your favor. The motivation to prove your critics wrong may be exactly what you need to push for greatness.

“When the doubters tell you it can’t be done and all kind of tragedies will come your way, I say nonsense. If you can get to the very root of who you are and make something happen from it, my sense tells me you are going to surprise yourself.” – Vidal Sassoon

4. Doubters can become powerful allies

Naysayers are oftentimes the byproduct of differences. People can harshly judge ideas or ambitions that are not in line with their own beliefs, opinions, or behavior.

If you can bridge the differences to create win-win relationships, skeptics can become strong allies. They’ve already proven they have a voice and they are willing to use it, only this time, in your favor.

In a team setting, you will have to use your communication and people skills to not just win the argument, but to win the sentiment. Sharing your vision and getting others to stand behind it isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth your effort. Creating advocates of your dream can only accelerate your success.

The bigger and more audacious your dream, the more naysayers you will experience. Be like Usain Bolt who said, “To all my doubters, thank you very much because you guys have also pushed me.”

Are you allowing the doubters to control your life? What are you going to do to change that? Leave your thoughts below!

Victor Ng is an executive coach and entrepreneur who helps those with ambition overcome adversity to reach their goals. Download his free self-coaching worksheet “Adversity To Advantage” to reframe challenges and refocus on your success. Victor has 18 years of corporate experience in advertising and marketing communication. He is one of the youngest in his industry to reach the regional C-suite, and is credited with over 100 industry awards, including Cannes and Clios.

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Motivation

Follow This 2-Step Process to Stay Motivated When You Feel Like Nothing Is Going Right

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Image Credit: Unsplash

The dialogue in your mind is the battleground where your motivation lives and dies every day. In every moment, your words are either lifting you or sabotaging your success. Unfortunately, most people are losing this battle within themselves. They are using their most powerful asset — their mental energy — to beat themselves up, play victimization games, or stop themselves from sharing their passion. (more…)

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Motivation

6 Surefire Ways to Motivate Marketers in 2019

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If your company did well in 2018, you must be sitting there challenged with a thought inside your head – How can I continue the streak and keep up my marketing game this year? You have knocked yourself enough to meet your 2018 goals, and all you need now is a boost of morale to face all that 2019 has in store for you. (more…)

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Motivation

This Is How An Ordinary Person Can Make Their Country Better.

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Someone asked on the internet how they can make their country better.
They considered themselves ordinary and felt that they had to be someone special to make a difference in their country, India.

Their question made me feel a bit emotional because I can relate. I too have also dreamt of making my country better.

The most common answer to this question is to get involved in politics.

Many of you reading this find politics really boring including me. I’ve learned through my own experience that politics is not the only way you can make your country better.

Here’s how you can make your country better:


Use your voice

When I was faced with the question “How do I make my country better?” I decided to use my voice.

It was this decision that changed everything. I spent every day using my voice to stand for something. I wanted to inspire the world through entrepreneurship and personal development.

So, I started using my voice by posting on LinkedIn. I used my voice and transcribed it into words to tell the citizens of my country what I think they needed to hear.

Using your voice is incredibly scary at first. As soon as you start sharing your thoughts, many people will say nothing. You’ll get almost no feedback. As your voice starts to get louder over time (probably years) the opposite will happen and you’ll attract trolls and critics.

The hardest part about using your voice is having the courage every day to use it and not being obsessed with the outcome.

By using my voice online through blogging and LinkedIn, I managed to get a 35,000 person bank to start talking about my ideas with staff and customers, and I was voted LinkedIn Australia’s Top Voice that year.

Using the power of your voice is the number one way you can change your country.

It’s in your experiences, ideas and thoughts that you can find what it is that can help your country.

In my country, Australia, we are quite well off, but we still lack a positive mindset. Some of us work jobs we hate and we like things that only money can buy. There’s a competition to get the biggest house or the most expensive car.

It’s not a problem everyone in Australia suffers from, but it’s widespread. I believe by using my own voice to inspire people to seek alternatives, I can change my country.

The results thus far suggest I’m well on the way to changing my country.


Be kind

Changing your country seems like a huge task. It sounds like something only a Nelson Mandela sort of fella can achieve. That’s not true.

A simple understanding of the power of kindness can change your country.

There was this guy I read about online that changed his country by giving out free hugs because he couldn’t run in the local marathon. He embraced his kind nature and ended up impacting millions of people in his country.

Being kind is infectious because we’re wired to do it. When we see one person be kind, we want to do the same.

The problem in my country (and many others) is that we’ve sacrificed kindness for greed.

We’ve let our country’s economy become the most important factor instead of measuring the way we treat people and the ability of a country’s nation to overcome adversity together.

Kindness is so important because every one of our countries will face adversity, and kindness is the solution to that inevitable problem.


Pick up the trash

This one seems even smaller in impact. It’s not.

I found that by picking up the rubbish I saw in places like my apartment lobby, I was able to show myself that I care about my country.

When we care about our country, we choose to make it look beautiful so others can enjoy it. Something simple like picking up the trash can take you a long way towards helping your country.

Every country has an environmental problem and picking up rubbish can help solve it. If we all picked up one piece of trash, then each of our country’s would be a hell of a lot cleaner.


Don’t think you can’t make your country better

A lot of what I’ve learned, by trying to make my own country better, has come from the belief that I can have an impact.

There are so many people who want to do nothing more than complain which wastes time and energy and doesn’t make anyone’s country better.

The way you make your country better is by believing you can and taking one or two small actions to start the process.

The people that change their country believe they can.

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If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

50 Cent Scored Half a Billion Dollars – How 50 Made a Killing Off Water

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

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Image Credit | The Source

In “The Big Payback: The History of the Business of Hip-Hop,” author Dan Charnas traces how rap grew from its obscure roots in the ghettos of 1970s New York to its culmination as the world’s predominant youth pop culture and a multibillion-dollar industry.

The event that epitomized just how far hip-hop had come was the headline-grabbing partnership between the rapper 50 Cent and the upstart beverage company Glaceau, the maker of VitaminWater. It may well have been the biggest deal in hip-hop history, propelling 50 Cent’s personal net worth toward a half-billion dollars.

In this excerpt, Charnas outlines how it happened. (more…)

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