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4 Ways to Use Fear as Motivational Fuel

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use fear as motivation

Messages about overcoming fear in order to be successful are built with good intentions, but they may be making fear your enemy instead of your friend. By playing a few mind games, you can transform fear from a force that holds you back into a force that pushes you forward.

There is one important caveat. Fear is a powerful motivator to lift you out of a rut and set you in motion, but living in a constant state of fear is damaging. Think of fear like the booster rockets on a space shuttle that help it pull free from gravitational forces, only to be discarded when no longer needed.

Fear can be temporarily useful. But there has to be something you’re moving toward because of love to sustain motivation.

Here are 4 ways you can use fear as fuel:

1. Make Your Comfort Zone Really Uncomfortable

One of the simplest ways to get out of your comfort zone is to make your comfort zone really uncomfortable. Let’s say Sarah loves to binge-watch Netflix each night instead of working on her blog. While she could force herself to work, it will never be as comfortable as watching movies.

What if Sarah set a deadline to finish a blog article every week, told five friends, and offered to pay them each $100 if she didn’t get it done? Now the idea of watching Netflix and not writing the article is more uncomfortable than writing the article.

She fears losing money, breaking her word, and looking like a failure to others. Accountability is one way to make your current comfort zone uncomfortable, but there are other approaches. Ask yourself, “How can I make my comfort zone more uncomfortable than doing what I know will move me forward?”

“Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.” – Japanese Proverb

2. Care More About Your Supporters Than Your Haters

One common fear among high achievers is, “What if people criticize me?” They may even feel bad about it and conclude, “I know I shouldn’t care what people think, but I can’t help it.” Consider this: To literally “not care what people think” is impossible for someone with normal human psychology. We’re hardwired with a desire to fit in and be accepted.

It’s normal to fear criticism. Instead of fighting it. The secret is to simply care more about those who benefit than about potential haters. The fear of letting them down can be a powerful motivator.

Tim Ferriss puts this in perspective when he discusses focusing on the 1,000 fans who get what you’re doing rather than the 10,000 who don’t. Ask yourself, “Who will suffer—even if I don’t know them yet—if I don’t achieve even greater success and share my work?”

3. Fulfill Your Future Self’s Desires

Playing small comes from avoiding the disappointment one may feel if they don’t reach an ambitious goal. Instead of trying to avoid disappointment, what if you used the fear of disappointment in your favor?

Imagine yourself 10 years in the future having not pursued your dreams. You review the previous 10 years and think about how you shrank away from opportunities and settled for mediocrity. How does it feel?

Now imagine yourself on your deathbed, looking back on your life. Your gravestone will read, “Here lies so and so. He was an ordinary person who inspired no one. He’ll quickly be forgotten.” How does it feel that you decided to play it safe all your life?

You may find your life was less about what you did or didn’t accomplish, and more about how you showed up to take a swing. A little disappointment now can sting, but major disappointment felt years down the road—realizing the actuality of your wasted life—can be soul crushing.

Ask yourself, “Would I rather experience the temporary discomfort of a particular ambition not achieved or the crushing disappointment of failing to show up as my greatest self?”

“Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.”

4. Use Fear As A Teacher

“I can’t do it!” On the surface, this sounds like a limiting belief that invokes paralyzing fear. If you don’t believe you can achieve a goal, what are the odds you’ll go after it wholeheartedly?

What if that fear is actually trying to help you learn something? There are many things you truly can’t accomplish, and that’s okay. All you may need to do in these situations is recognize a simple fact. “I can’t do it on my own, but we can do it together.” Now you’re liberated from believing you need to do something alone and can free yourself to receive help from others.

Fear isn’t necessarily false evidence appearing real. While some fears are illogical and can be addressed using various forms of therapy, other fears are legitimate concerns that your subconscious brings to the surface to help you develop a strategy to avoid failure.

Fearing you can’t do something can be motivation to find mentors, build a team, and develop necessary skills. Rather than relying on positive affirmations to override all fears, you may find it more beneficial to acknowledge the fears and expose the underlying lessons the fears are attempting to share with you.

When you grasp the lesson that fear is trying to teach, the fear often disappears on its own. Ask yourself, “What is this fear trying to teach me?”

Which of these four things are you going to use today to turn fear into your friend? Leave your thoughts below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Derek Doepker is a former rock guitar player turned author of the #1 bestselling books ‘Break Through Your BS’ and ‘Why You’re Stuck’. He specializes in helping intelligent people burdened with endless mind chatter, develop self-mastery and emotional connection with clever mind games. You can discover more insights from him and download a free copy of Why You’re Stuck at http://derekdoepker.com.

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1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Ton Bil

    May 16, 2017 at 1:57 pm

    Loved this. I know the fear of loneliness held me back in life many times. The fear totally paralyzed me, when I was being left by my wife of 21 years. To me, Derek’s points 3 and 4 shaped the way out: tuning in to my future self’s desires, and seeing what the fear had to teach me. The lesson was: you can have fear and do it anyway.

    Nowadays I coach people with recovering emotionally and growing confidence after their divorce or breakup. Most of my clients experience a lot of fears. So, thanks for this post.

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Motivation

All I Want Is For You To Give It Everything You Got.

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It’s the simplest ask I’ve ever put out into the world. It’s my one wish for everyone reading.

All I want is for you to give your life everything you’ve got. Seeing what you are capable of is my one goal. Seeing how you lived instead of how you feared your challenges is beautiful. I know it’s easier said than done but I know you have more in the tank.

I know it seems like there’s always another email, another person to influence, another competitor, another threat that could tear down everything you’ve built.

I get that there are risks and you’re scared (whether you admit it or not). That doesn’t change a thing in my book. I still want you to give it everything you’ve got.

 

I want to see your raw emotion.

When I watch you do your thing, I want to see you display raw emotion. I want you to be vulnerable and show me all of the beauty you have to offer through your wide range of emotions.

I don’t want you to cover up what you’re thinking and feeling out of fear that you’ll be judged. Those who judge you are only making up for their own inadequacies, so there’s nothing to be afraid of.

 

I want to see your raw passion.

Passion equals commitment. It’s that look in your eye. It’s how you take your first step. It’s how you stare fear in the face and say “I’m going to win today no matter what. Nothing will stop me!”

It’s the way your shoulders are slightly back and you stare into everyone’s eyes. It’s the way you look fearless even though you’re as scared as the rest of us watching. It’s the way you commit to the outcome even though you don’t know the exact strategy.

Showing us your raw passion by doing what you love is one of the best gifts you have to offer. Don’t hold back on your level of passion. Commit to what it is you love and don’t spend a waking moment not coming up with your next move. Through your passion, we get to see the potential we have in our own passion.

Seeing you fulfill your passion inspires us all to do the same. You can be a guiding light and you know you can. Make your move!

 

I want to feel what it is that you do.

Don’t show me, make me feel it. Show us all what courage looks like and what you’ve had to overcome to get to this point, right here, right now. I want your actions to show us why we all chase feelings. I want you to show us the power of feelings and why they drive us to create human life and fall in love.

 

I want you to take the long road.

Not the shortcut. Not by using that one life hack. Not by bringing down others. Not by stomping over your competition and showing us that you have a higher power. I want you to take the long road and put in the work. I want you to reach mastery instead of a basic understanding.

“When everybody else thinks that you’ve given all you’ve got, I want you to keep walking down that long, windy road in your jocks while freezing your tits off!”

The idea of a shortcut is a myth. No one that is going to do what you’re capable of got there by putting in less or looking for a way to be lazy. Laziness is not the answer.

Commitment and an endless pursuit to find a path and walk down it with your own two feet is where you’ll find the energy you need.

 

I want you to be kind along the way.

Yes, going into overdrive is about you and your capability, but that doesn’t mean you have to do it by being nasty to everyone watching. How you treat people is more important than anything else. It’s what you’ll be remembered for and not the outcome.

Treating people with kindness is how you discover your true self and find that extra something that you didn’t know you had. Kindness will be returned with more kindness. Sometimes it will go unnoticed and that’s cool as well.

 

I want you to be the greatest in your field.

Not second best. Not top ten, but the greatest. Even if you don’t reach the top, you’ll still end up pushing beyond what you ever thought was possible. You’ll be glad you went for the top position rather than settling for the bottom where you know you had more to give.

 

I want you to push through the pain.

Pain hurts like hell. It’s that one ingredient that none of us can avoid. Pain is guaranteed whether you decide to listen to my advice or not.

“So if you’re going to get pain no matter what, you may as well learn to push through it and use it for good, not evil”

 

Pain is the red light indicator that says you’re pushing your limits and you’re creating momentum. Pain doesn’t mean stop. Pain means you’re just getting started. You’ve avoided pain until this point and now it’s time to discover what pain can do for you.

“Pain can either be the devil on your shoulder or the angel that guides you from darkness into the light”

 

I want you to bring others on the journey.

It’s not just about you. I say this all the time because I mean it. A journey on your own is boring and you’ll give up at some point because you’re a social being. Helping others while helping yourself is how you give more. If it’s all about you and your big fat dream, then you’re not giving it all you’ve got.

Just meeting your own needs is never going to be enough. You will never be enough if all you do is sit down and focus on your own selfish desires. Even if you feel no one is listening, keep going. People may not listen at the start, but they’ll eventually listen if you stay committed.

We all need to see you’re dedicated to your vision first before we decide to join you on your journey.

 

I want you to inspire us.

Make us all feel like we can achieve the impossible through your actions. Don’t tell us, show us. We’re inspired by your actions and your commitment to them, not your words. Take the lessons you learn and use them to show us how we can do immensely difficult things in our life.

The leaders you are obsessed with are that way in your head because at some point they inspired you. They questioned your idea of the world and made you think differently. They inspired you to consider or to commit to a new decision.

They broke the pattern in your head and made you see what to focus on. That’s what inspiration has done for you and now you must inspire us and give us everything you have in the process.

 

I want you to remember who you were before.

When you do finally arrive at that position you’ve worked so hard to get to, I never want you to forget who you started off as. Seeing the transformation from your former self to your current self will ensure you don’t get complacent.

Your former self will remind your current self just how far you can push. Your former self will remind you what can help when you give it everything you’ve got. I don’t ever want to see you settle for less than who you can be.

 

If I achieved all of that, then I’ve succeeded.

Everything I’ve just told you is me giving you everything I have. If you follow these guiding principles, suggestions (whatever you want to call them, I don’t care), then I have succeeded. I will no longer need to look for success because you will have shown it to me through your example.

My vision for success is helping you find yours. So if you achieve nothing else, then you’ve helped me fulfill a major goal in my life.

 

The world needs more people like you.

Not only that. Society needs more people who are willing to think bigger, go bigger and be bigger. We all need more people like you. People who are going to act, which is why you’re reading this. You didn’t read these words for nothing so get back to work and be the best you can be.

Give it everything you’ve got.
Don’t let your current challenges stop you.
Kick ass and go all out.
Demonstrate emotion, passion and kindness.

Most of all, never let your circumstances or negative people think you can’t go all out. You can do whatever you put your mind to. Make a decision and then act.

Go all out.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

Focus On One Thing At A Time: Here’s Why.

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The problem you have, above all, is you’re trying to do too much all at once.

I should no because I have a cluster bomb of goals I’m trying to achieve right now. What ends up happening is you achieve nothing. You go to narrow and so wide that nothing gets done. Nothing gets traction. Then you get pissed off and give up.

Giving up is not the answer. Focusing on one thing is.

I’d love to be the worlds best blogger, speaker, author and lover all at once. It’s not going to happen like that. That’s not how the game of life works.

Here’s why you should focus on one thing at a time:

 

Your memory sucks.

We now have so much information to store in our mind that we end up forgetting most things whether we want to admit that or not. Focusing on one thing frees up space in your mind to store all the knowledge associated with your one goal.

Get used to ignoring information that you don’t feel is needed. I do this all the time. When I check emails, most of them are deleted before they are even read. If an email is not aligned with my two-line purpose or my current goal, then it’s gone. Never to be seen again.

What you want to do instead is use the virtual memory in your mind to do the same habits associated with your goal over and over. This carves a deep path in your mind for the tasks and habits you need to be awesome at to hit your current goal.

 

Go for one big goal.

Instead of having lots of small goals that are mostly meaningless, go for the big goals. Try knocking off one every few months or even one a year if you have to. My current goal is to pivot my career in a new direction. Then straight after that, I’m going to knock off some big speeches to up my public speaking game. Other than those two items, that’s about it.

Nice and easy to remember. This strategy puts large amounts of focus on only one or two goals meaning you get results faster. I find that as I gain momentum and see results quickly, my one big goal doesn’t require motivation. Your results should become your motivation and that requires all your energy and focus.

I had another big goal this year to sort out my love life. People laughed at how crazy and deep I went on this goal. Within five months and after more than fifty dates, I got my goal. There’s a lot that you can get from focusing on one big goal. Try it for yourself.

 

Keeps fear from destroying your action.

Fear is a constant battle – even for me. Having too many goals means that you’ll get a small slice of fear with each one. Once you add up all of that fear, you can easily become crippled by it. By focusing on one big goal, you only have one slice of fear to deal with.

For me, changing career and nailing public speaking at the same time is just too much fear. It’s way easier to tackle one at a time. You can’t just block fear out and pretend it doesn’t exist. You have to work through the fear that comes with your goals and this requires smaller doses.

 

Your conversations become simpler.

We all get asked to join 101 meetings and do lots of coffee catch ups. These two things already annoy me enough. What having one goal has done for me is make my conversations simpler. If someone wants to talk about something, if it doesn’t align with my current big goal, I decline.

I explain that I’m working towards one big goal and anything that’s not part of that goal is on hold for the moment. By saying it in this manner, you avoid sounding like a smart ass and your no is delivered in a respectful way.

 

To-Do lists become a thing of the past.

These problematic lists become near irrelevant because when you have one big goal, you don’t have as many tasks to manage. Right now, when I wake up, I work on my career goal and then get to work. I don’t need a to-do list because there’s only one goal to think about.

 

Deep thinking sessions deliver more value.

I tell everybody to spend a bit of time every day doing some deep thinking. When you have too many goals, these sessions are wasted. By having one big goal, I’ve been able to use my deep thinking time to really reflect on what it’s going to take to achieve my goal.

The progress I get from these deep thinking sessions has tripled. I’m no longer trying to fix all of the world’s problems every time I go into deep thinking. I’ve found that I’m becoming much better at solving my own problems because I can deeply think about what’s standing in my way.

 

Answers are much less challenging to find.

My mind has become a beacon for the information I need to achieve my one big goal. When you have lots of goals, all the information you consume get’s lost. Having one big goal makes your mind focused on what bits of knowledge you need.

“All the answers you seek have already been presented to you in one form or another. The problem is that you can’t hear the answers because there are too many goals which have created a lack of focus for your very busy mind”

For example, my public speaking goal is something I always thought would be near impossible to solve. As I practice my habit of listening to podcasts, I’ve found that all the good tips for crushing fear when it comes to public speaking have been there all along.

People like Tim Ferriss and Gary Vee have been sharing the wisdom needed for good public speaking for a long time. The problem was I had too many goals, so I didn’t hear their golden nuggets of advice. With more focus, I do not only hear their tips, I’m meditating and doing deep thinking on their ideas.

 

You can’t be known for everything.

Ever been to someone’s LinkedIn page and it says something like this:

“Kimbo is an entrepreneur, blogger, speaker, coach, finance professional, investor, advisor, avid reader, professional hockey player and lover of cars.”

I mean you can’t be known for all of that. When all of us see profiles of people like this, we end up switching off. Focus on being a world-class blogger, or an accomplished author.

“There’s no point trying to be A-grade at everything because you never will be, and your personal message will get lost”

 

Simple is always better.

Whether it’s your goals, fitness routine, business, etc, simpler is always better. Simpler equals focus. Focus equals power. Power equals energy and motivation towards your one big goal that will make you unstoppable.

Stop trying to do so much because you’re not fooling anyone, least of all yourself. Chunk things down, go for simple and be incredible at fewer goals.

You can be a standout person when you go for one big goal rather than a huge lists of goals that never get actioned.

What do you really want more than anything? That’s your big goal.

Now go execute on your goal.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

Raw Emotion Is The Only Thing That Matters: Here’s What To Do.

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I’ve been on the road this week talking about the power of creating content and sharing your story with the world.

I’ve been consistently asked how I am able to reach millions of people every single month. I’ve seen my audience triple this year.

It all comes down to this:

It’s raw emotion.

That’s it.

People go crazy for what I do because I express my raw emotion about life and about business. I don’t allow anyone to tell me what to say or how to behave. No matter what the feedback is on my content, I always treat people with respect.

 

Respecting the game is crucial.

We all take success and online engagement for granted. As soon as people get a few thousand followers, their success goes to their head.

They stop responding to comments.
They stop responding to emails.
They stop answering phone calls.

Not me – ever! Replying to comments, emails and taking a phone call here and there, is how you respect the people who have given you their time (their most valuable asset).

“Respect combined with putting raw emotion into everything you do will see your life transform”

 

How do you unleash raw emotion?

Simple: you have to get into state.

You have to get yourself into a frame of mind where you come face to face with the fact that your life is short. Tim Ferriss introduced me to a cool tool for your internet browser called the Death Clock.

Every time you open a new tab, it shows you on average, based on your age, how long you have left to live.

 

Don’t hold back any longer.

Once you come face to face with your mortality, you stop holding back. People’s opinions go out the window and all you focus on is giving everything you have. From this place, you can deliver raw emotion.

I walked out of the gym yesterday and someone died right in front of me. That could have been me if I left just a few seconds earlier. So if I wasn’t here to type these words, would I be satisfied? The answer is no freaking way.

I still have so much more to give and that’s what motivates me to go all in and deliver raw emotion with everything I do.

12 months ago, a leader I used to work with asked me to give a motivational speech to her team and share my story. I said no because my public speaking skills sucked. Now I’ve started to get much better at speaking. On Monday morning, I’m emailing her to say that I will give that speech.

No more holding back. The game of life is real.

 

It takes courage to deliver raw emotion.

Standing up on stage and sharing your story, or writing a blog post about your deepest, darkest fears is tough. Delivering raw emotion requires you to be incredibly vulnerable. You have to be okay with having 50% of people dislike you or ignore what you have to say.

“Delivering raw emotion is not about reaching everyone; it’s about reaching a few people who can then be inspired by what you do”

 

Raw emotion without action is useless.

The only reason you want to deliver raw emotion is so you can inspire people. By inspiring people, you can get them to trust you and take action. Raw emotion allows you to get people to do stuff they never thought was possible.

Tony Robbins got in my face when I went to his seminar four years ago and he did that through raw emotion. He told his very personal family story and then showed me how anyone, from anywhere, can take their life to the next level.

If Tony didn’t share the full story or shared someone else’s story, I’m not sure the message would have stuck in my distracted little brain. It took raw emotion to get me out of my head and help me see my life for what it was. That life, by the way, was garbage and was based on my own selfish desires and an endless pursuit of money.

 

You feel different when you deliver raw emotion.

When I deliver a piece of content in words, video or speech that has raw emotion, I feel different. I feel that I have given it my all and I know I’ve pushed myself beyond my comfort zone. That’s because delivering raw emotion is uncomfortable no matter how many times you do it.

The thing is that when you don’t deliver raw emotion, you fall for one of the following:

– Copying someone else
– Holding back
– Being overcome by fear
– Feeling you didn’t give 110%

These feelings suck big time. You may as well do nothing if you aren’t going to give your pursuits in life a good crack. Go big, or stay home and think about your life properly.

 

Raw emotion is infectious. Stop working so damn hard!

I feel like right now, for the first time in my life, I’ve become a magnet for all the people I want to have in my life. I no longer have to work my ass off to influence people or pitch them my ideas. People come to me.

Not because I’m so special but because I deliver raw emotion. I tell the whole story and I don’t hold back. I used to have to reach out to people a lot and have these big paragraphs in my emails about all my achievements and the people I know.

Now I just link to my work that has raw emotion and what I say does the convincing / selling for me.

“This is me, and if you like it, then we should talk.”

That’s what I say in my head. There’s no BS sales pages or template emails. You can’t grab another one of me off the shelf and then copy and paste me.

The raw emotion I deliver is inside of me. You can see it in my eyes. You can see it in the way I stand. You can even see it in the words I type.

 

So what now Mr. Tim?

Well, I’ve told you the power of raw emotion. I’ve made it clear what it’s done to my life. I’ve explained how you can do the same.

Now it comes down to action. Action is the thing that people always tell themselves they will do but often never do. If you like the sound of what I’ve said about raw emotion sailor, then you need to try it for yourself. Test it out for a week and see what I mean.

Watch people look at you as an authority figure. See people’s reactions. Most of all, notice how you feel differently. Your whole life is put into perspective when you stop holding back and deliver the value you have inside of you with raw emotion.

If you want to stand out from the crowd, then build up the courage inside of you to deliver raw emotion.

Raw emotion is where it’s at. It’s the secret to how all of the people you are inspired by get to do what they love and reach lots of people.

Now it’s action time.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

10 Simple Steps for Self-Motivation

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self-motivation

Renowned American motivational speaker and author, Dr. Stephen R. Covey once remarked: “Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly.” How do you define motivation?

There are two distinct types of motivation:

  • Intrinsic: Motivation that comes from within ourselves.
  • Extrinsic: Motivation that is derived from outside source such as a friend, colleagues, seniors at workplace, religious or spiritual leaders, spouse, kids and lots more.

Briefly, motivation can be described as a reason or cause by which a person or a group of people behave in a certain manner. The cause or the reason has to be extremely strong, and it often involves self interest.

Considering you have good and healthy plans that do not conflict with any laws, rules and regulations, staying motivated is quite easy. Basically, motivation is merely a state of mind. Utilized properly, it can take you to heights you may have never dreamed of.

However, our simple steps below will guide you on how to remain motivated at all times, despite any adversities you may encounter:

1. Goal Setting

Setting a goal for yourself is a time-tested and proven method to remain motivated. However, it is important to set realistic and achievable goals. Set yourself a deadline by which you intend to achieve these goals.

There are three types of goals:

  • Short term goals: These may be achieved in a few weeks or a couple of months.
  • Mid-term goals: These usually take a year or two to achieve.
  • Long-term goals: Here you can include your career options, plans for marriage, buying a home or anything that takes a longer span of time.

2. Money matters

Regardless whether we like it or not, money does matter in remaining motivated. Here, we are not speaking about millions of dollars. We are saying that having sufficient funds to lead a decent life is a great motivator by itself. You can start by saving a healthy portion of your income daily or monthly.

3. Shun any loans

Undoubtedly, people encumbered with loans exhibit a tendency to lose motivation. The reason is simple:  A considerable portion of your earnings will go towards servicing whatever loans or credit card dues you have. Avoid getting into loans as much as possible, unless it is for some genuine and strong reason such as buying a home.

4. Stay with positive people

Generally, people with a positive mindset and attitude are the best motivators. Regardless of your situation, they will always try and uplift your state of mind. Such positive minded people will motivate you even if you are feeling low and beaten. Further, whenever you encounter negative thoughts, speak with such people by either meeting them or on phone.

5. Appreciate yourself first

Whenever you lose motivation, think of all the positive stuff you have done in the past and reflect on great experiences you have had. Also, remember all the adverse times you have been through and how you sailed out of them unharmed. Appreciating yourself for your achievements is a great motivational tool.

“When you’re trying to motivate yourself, appreciate the fact that you’re even thinking about making a change. And as you move forward, allow yourself to be good enough.” – Alice Domar

6. Use mistakes as experiences

This means learning from your past mistakes, because as humans we are all prone to mistakes due to inherent defects or flaws in our character. Remember, mistakes are not final. They hold vital lessons for us. Most people tend to lose motivation when things go awry and desired results are not forthcoming.

7. Examine your motive

Once again, as Dr. Stephen R. Covey puts it, the key to motivation lies in the motive itself. Should your motives be good and in conformity with laws, motivation follows automatically. But beware, wrong motives can lead to misplaced motivation which can land even the most stable and sober person into deep trouble. Once your motives are positive and clear, motivation follows automatically.

8. Avoid getting over-stressed

Stress can be divided into two different categories:

  1. Negative stress: That arises out of negative actions, interacting with obnoxious people and lethargy or laziness, continuing exposure to painful or unpleasant situations and loneliness.
  2. Positive stress: Accrues by solving work related or domestic problems. Positive stress usually leaves you satisfied and happy once the issue has been resolved or after a hard day’s work.

Stress in daily life is imminent. Staying motivated helps you to remain motivated.

9. Choose to be happy

Now this may sound like a tall order for anyone encountering adverse situations. However, it is worthwhile to note, every bad situation always passes. Be aware that every bad circumstance will eventually vanish. Losing motivation will not help solve any problem and neither will worrying about something. You can maintain your motivation with the sheer thought that every problem is temporary.

10. Chart your map

Sadly, most people embark on a project or endeavor without much heed to the end result. Instead, you can chart your own roadmap. Take an inventory about how you want to begin and why. This in itself is a great motivational factor. Simultaneously, bear in mind what is the exact objective or the end where your endeavor should culminate. Be fearless in your pursuit of your dreams and goals.

“I am happy because I’m grateful. I choose to be grateful. That gratitude allows me to be happy.” – Will Arnett

It is worthwhile to remember, we all lose motivation at some point of life. This is perfectly normal and nothing to be alarmed about. Analyzing cause of losing motivation, understanding and finding ways and means to counter it, works miracles indeed. Lack of motivation, left untreated, can lead to mental ailments.

How do you remain self-motivated? Let us know in the comments below!

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10 Questions You Must Ask Yourself to Discover Your True Self

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self discovery

A comprehensive guide to self-discovery; this is what one must ask themselves. There is nothing purer than the path to discovering the true meaning of one’s life, the purpose of existence and the acknowledgment and connection that can be forged from within with oneself. (more…)

Kurtis Brase is a professional journalist. Now, she works at EssayPro as a writer and editor.

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1 Comment

  1. Ton Bil

    May 16, 2017 at 1:57 pm

    Loved this. I know the fear of loneliness held me back in life many times. The fear totally paralyzed me, when I was being left by my wife of 21 years. To me, Derek’s points 3 and 4 shaped the way out: tuning in to my future self’s desires, and seeing what the fear had to teach me. The lesson was: you can have fear and do it anyway.

    Nowadays I coach people with recovering emotionally and growing confidence after their divorce or breakup. Most of my clients experience a lot of fears. So, thanks for this post.

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Motivation

All I Want Is For You To Give It Everything You Got.

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It’s the simplest ask I’ve ever put out into the world. It’s my one wish for everyone reading.

All I want is for you to give your life everything you’ve got. Seeing what you are capable of is my one goal. Seeing how you lived instead of how you feared your challenges is beautiful. I know it’s easier said than done but I know you have more in the tank.

I know it seems like there’s always another email, another person to influence, another competitor, another threat that could tear down everything you’ve built.

I get that there are risks and you’re scared (whether you admit it or not). That doesn’t change a thing in my book. I still want you to give it everything you’ve got.

 

I want to see your raw emotion.

When I watch you do your thing, I want to see you display raw emotion. I want you to be vulnerable and show me all of the beauty you have to offer through your wide range of emotions.

I don’t want you to cover up what you’re thinking and feeling out of fear that you’ll be judged. Those who judge you are only making up for their own inadequacies, so there’s nothing to be afraid of.

 

I want to see your raw passion.

Passion equals commitment. It’s that look in your eye. It’s how you take your first step. It’s how you stare fear in the face and say “I’m going to win today no matter what. Nothing will stop me!”

It’s the way your shoulders are slightly back and you stare into everyone’s eyes. It’s the way you look fearless even though you’re as scared as the rest of us watching. It’s the way you commit to the outcome even though you don’t know the exact strategy.

Showing us your raw passion by doing what you love is one of the best gifts you have to offer. Don’t hold back on your level of passion. Commit to what it is you love and don’t spend a waking moment not coming up with your next move. Through your passion, we get to see the potential we have in our own passion.

Seeing you fulfill your passion inspires us all to do the same. You can be a guiding light and you know you can. Make your move!

 

I want to feel what it is that you do.

Don’t show me, make me feel it. Show us all what courage looks like and what you’ve had to overcome to get to this point, right here, right now. I want your actions to show us why we all chase feelings. I want you to show us the power of feelings and why they drive us to create human life and fall in love.

 

I want you to take the long road.

Not the shortcut. Not by using that one life hack. Not by bringing down others. Not by stomping over your competition and showing us that you have a higher power. I want you to take the long road and put in the work. I want you to reach mastery instead of a basic understanding.

“When everybody else thinks that you’ve given all you’ve got, I want you to keep walking down that long, windy road in your jocks while freezing your tits off!”

The idea of a shortcut is a myth. No one that is going to do what you’re capable of got there by putting in less or looking for a way to be lazy. Laziness is not the answer.

Commitment and an endless pursuit to find a path and walk down it with your own two feet is where you’ll find the energy you need.

 

I want you to be kind along the way.

Yes, going into overdrive is about you and your capability, but that doesn’t mean you have to do it by being nasty to everyone watching. How you treat people is more important than anything else. It’s what you’ll be remembered for and not the outcome.

Treating people with kindness is how you discover your true self and find that extra something that you didn’t know you had. Kindness will be returned with more kindness. Sometimes it will go unnoticed and that’s cool as well.

 

I want you to be the greatest in your field.

Not second best. Not top ten, but the greatest. Even if you don’t reach the top, you’ll still end up pushing beyond what you ever thought was possible. You’ll be glad you went for the top position rather than settling for the bottom where you know you had more to give.

 

I want you to push through the pain.

Pain hurts like hell. It’s that one ingredient that none of us can avoid. Pain is guaranteed whether you decide to listen to my advice or not.

“So if you’re going to get pain no matter what, you may as well learn to push through it and use it for good, not evil”

 

Pain is the red light indicator that says you’re pushing your limits and you’re creating momentum. Pain doesn’t mean stop. Pain means you’re just getting started. You’ve avoided pain until this point and now it’s time to discover what pain can do for you.

“Pain can either be the devil on your shoulder or the angel that guides you from darkness into the light”

 

I want you to bring others on the journey.

It’s not just about you. I say this all the time because I mean it. A journey on your own is boring and you’ll give up at some point because you’re a social being. Helping others while helping yourself is how you give more. If it’s all about you and your big fat dream, then you’re not giving it all you’ve got.

Just meeting your own needs is never going to be enough. You will never be enough if all you do is sit down and focus on your own selfish desires. Even if you feel no one is listening, keep going. People may not listen at the start, but they’ll eventually listen if you stay committed.

We all need to see you’re dedicated to your vision first before we decide to join you on your journey.

 

I want you to inspire us.

Make us all feel like we can achieve the impossible through your actions. Don’t tell us, show us. We’re inspired by your actions and your commitment to them, not your words. Take the lessons you learn and use them to show us how we can do immensely difficult things in our life.

The leaders you are obsessed with are that way in your head because at some point they inspired you. They questioned your idea of the world and made you think differently. They inspired you to consider or to commit to a new decision.

They broke the pattern in your head and made you see what to focus on. That’s what inspiration has done for you and now you must inspire us and give us everything you have in the process.

 

I want you to remember who you were before.

When you do finally arrive at that position you’ve worked so hard to get to, I never want you to forget who you started off as. Seeing the transformation from your former self to your current self will ensure you don’t get complacent.

Your former self will remind your current self just how far you can push. Your former self will remind you what can help when you give it everything you’ve got. I don’t ever want to see you settle for less than who you can be.

 

If I achieved all of that, then I’ve succeeded.

Everything I’ve just told you is me giving you everything I have. If you follow these guiding principles, suggestions (whatever you want to call them, I don’t care), then I have succeeded. I will no longer need to look for success because you will have shown it to me through your example.

My vision for success is helping you find yours. So if you achieve nothing else, then you’ve helped me fulfill a major goal in my life.

 

The world needs more people like you.

Not only that. Society needs more people who are willing to think bigger, go bigger and be bigger. We all need more people like you. People who are going to act, which is why you’re reading this. You didn’t read these words for nothing so get back to work and be the best you can be.

Give it everything you’ve got.
Don’t let your current challenges stop you.
Kick ass and go all out.
Demonstrate emotion, passion and kindness.

Most of all, never let your circumstances or negative people think you can’t go all out. You can do whatever you put your mind to. Make a decision and then act.

Go all out.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

Focus On One Thing At A Time: Here’s Why.

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The problem you have, above all, is you’re trying to do too much all at once.

I should no because I have a cluster bomb of goals I’m trying to achieve right now. What ends up happening is you achieve nothing. You go to narrow and so wide that nothing gets done. Nothing gets traction. Then you get pissed off and give up.

Giving up is not the answer. Focusing on one thing is.

I’d love to be the worlds best blogger, speaker, author and lover all at once. It’s not going to happen like that. That’s not how the game of life works.

Here’s why you should focus on one thing at a time:

 

Your memory sucks.

We now have so much information to store in our mind that we end up forgetting most things whether we want to admit that or not. Focusing on one thing frees up space in your mind to store all the knowledge associated with your one goal.

Get used to ignoring information that you don’t feel is needed. I do this all the time. When I check emails, most of them are deleted before they are even read. If an email is not aligned with my two-line purpose or my current goal, then it’s gone. Never to be seen again.

What you want to do instead is use the virtual memory in your mind to do the same habits associated with your goal over and over. This carves a deep path in your mind for the tasks and habits you need to be awesome at to hit your current goal.

 

Go for one big goal.

Instead of having lots of small goals that are mostly meaningless, go for the big goals. Try knocking off one every few months or even one a year if you have to. My current goal is to pivot my career in a new direction. Then straight after that, I’m going to knock off some big speeches to up my public speaking game. Other than those two items, that’s about it.

Nice and easy to remember. This strategy puts large amounts of focus on only one or two goals meaning you get results faster. I find that as I gain momentum and see results quickly, my one big goal doesn’t require motivation. Your results should become your motivation and that requires all your energy and focus.

I had another big goal this year to sort out my love life. People laughed at how crazy and deep I went on this goal. Within five months and after more than fifty dates, I got my goal. There’s a lot that you can get from focusing on one big goal. Try it for yourself.

 

Keeps fear from destroying your action.

Fear is a constant battle – even for me. Having too many goals means that you’ll get a small slice of fear with each one. Once you add up all of that fear, you can easily become crippled by it. By focusing on one big goal, you only have one slice of fear to deal with.

For me, changing career and nailing public speaking at the same time is just too much fear. It’s way easier to tackle one at a time. You can’t just block fear out and pretend it doesn’t exist. You have to work through the fear that comes with your goals and this requires smaller doses.

 

Your conversations become simpler.

We all get asked to join 101 meetings and do lots of coffee catch ups. These two things already annoy me enough. What having one goal has done for me is make my conversations simpler. If someone wants to talk about something, if it doesn’t align with my current big goal, I decline.

I explain that I’m working towards one big goal and anything that’s not part of that goal is on hold for the moment. By saying it in this manner, you avoid sounding like a smart ass and your no is delivered in a respectful way.

 

To-Do lists become a thing of the past.

These problematic lists become near irrelevant because when you have one big goal, you don’t have as many tasks to manage. Right now, when I wake up, I work on my career goal and then get to work. I don’t need a to-do list because there’s only one goal to think about.

 

Deep thinking sessions deliver more value.

I tell everybody to spend a bit of time every day doing some deep thinking. When you have too many goals, these sessions are wasted. By having one big goal, I’ve been able to use my deep thinking time to really reflect on what it’s going to take to achieve my goal.

The progress I get from these deep thinking sessions has tripled. I’m no longer trying to fix all of the world’s problems every time I go into deep thinking. I’ve found that I’m becoming much better at solving my own problems because I can deeply think about what’s standing in my way.

 

Answers are much less challenging to find.

My mind has become a beacon for the information I need to achieve my one big goal. When you have lots of goals, all the information you consume get’s lost. Having one big goal makes your mind focused on what bits of knowledge you need.

“All the answers you seek have already been presented to you in one form or another. The problem is that you can’t hear the answers because there are too many goals which have created a lack of focus for your very busy mind”

For example, my public speaking goal is something I always thought would be near impossible to solve. As I practice my habit of listening to podcasts, I’ve found that all the good tips for crushing fear when it comes to public speaking have been there all along.

People like Tim Ferriss and Gary Vee have been sharing the wisdom needed for good public speaking for a long time. The problem was I had too many goals, so I didn’t hear their golden nuggets of advice. With more focus, I do not only hear their tips, I’m meditating and doing deep thinking on their ideas.

 

You can’t be known for everything.

Ever been to someone’s LinkedIn page and it says something like this:

“Kimbo is an entrepreneur, blogger, speaker, coach, finance professional, investor, advisor, avid reader, professional hockey player and lover of cars.”

I mean you can’t be known for all of that. When all of us see profiles of people like this, we end up switching off. Focus on being a world-class blogger, or an accomplished author.

“There’s no point trying to be A-grade at everything because you never will be, and your personal message will get lost”

 

Simple is always better.

Whether it’s your goals, fitness routine, business, etc, simpler is always better. Simpler equals focus. Focus equals power. Power equals energy and motivation towards your one big goal that will make you unstoppable.

Stop trying to do so much because you’re not fooling anyone, least of all yourself. Chunk things down, go for simple and be incredible at fewer goals.

You can be a standout person when you go for one big goal rather than a huge lists of goals that never get actioned.

What do you really want more than anything? That’s your big goal.

Now go execute on your goal.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

Raw Emotion Is The Only Thing That Matters: Here’s What To Do.

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I’ve been on the road this week talking about the power of creating content and sharing your story with the world.

I’ve been consistently asked how I am able to reach millions of people every single month. I’ve seen my audience triple this year.

It all comes down to this:

It’s raw emotion.

That’s it.

People go crazy for what I do because I express my raw emotion about life and about business. I don’t allow anyone to tell me what to say or how to behave. No matter what the feedback is on my content, I always treat people with respect.

 

Respecting the game is crucial.

We all take success and online engagement for granted. As soon as people get a few thousand followers, their success goes to their head.

They stop responding to comments.
They stop responding to emails.
They stop answering phone calls.

Not me – ever! Replying to comments, emails and taking a phone call here and there, is how you respect the people who have given you their time (their most valuable asset).

“Respect combined with putting raw emotion into everything you do will see your life transform”

 

How do you unleash raw emotion?

Simple: you have to get into state.

You have to get yourself into a frame of mind where you come face to face with the fact that your life is short. Tim Ferriss introduced me to a cool tool for your internet browser called the Death Clock.

Every time you open a new tab, it shows you on average, based on your age, how long you have left to live.

 

Don’t hold back any longer.

Once you come face to face with your mortality, you stop holding back. People’s opinions go out the window and all you focus on is giving everything you have. From this place, you can deliver raw emotion.

I walked out of the gym yesterday and someone died right in front of me. That could have been me if I left just a few seconds earlier. So if I wasn’t here to type these words, would I be satisfied? The answer is no freaking way.

I still have so much more to give and that’s what motivates me to go all in and deliver raw emotion with everything I do.

12 months ago, a leader I used to work with asked me to give a motivational speech to her team and share my story. I said no because my public speaking skills sucked. Now I’ve started to get much better at speaking. On Monday morning, I’m emailing her to say that I will give that speech.

No more holding back. The game of life is real.

 

It takes courage to deliver raw emotion.

Standing up on stage and sharing your story, or writing a blog post about your deepest, darkest fears is tough. Delivering raw emotion requires you to be incredibly vulnerable. You have to be okay with having 50% of people dislike you or ignore what you have to say.

“Delivering raw emotion is not about reaching everyone; it’s about reaching a few people who can then be inspired by what you do”

 

Raw emotion without action is useless.

The only reason you want to deliver raw emotion is so you can inspire people. By inspiring people, you can get them to trust you and take action. Raw emotion allows you to get people to do stuff they never thought was possible.

Tony Robbins got in my face when I went to his seminar four years ago and he did that through raw emotion. He told his very personal family story and then showed me how anyone, from anywhere, can take their life to the next level.

If Tony didn’t share the full story or shared someone else’s story, I’m not sure the message would have stuck in my distracted little brain. It took raw emotion to get me out of my head and help me see my life for what it was. That life, by the way, was garbage and was based on my own selfish desires and an endless pursuit of money.

 

You feel different when you deliver raw emotion.

When I deliver a piece of content in words, video or speech that has raw emotion, I feel different. I feel that I have given it my all and I know I’ve pushed myself beyond my comfort zone. That’s because delivering raw emotion is uncomfortable no matter how many times you do it.

The thing is that when you don’t deliver raw emotion, you fall for one of the following:

– Copying someone else
– Holding back
– Being overcome by fear
– Feeling you didn’t give 110%

These feelings suck big time. You may as well do nothing if you aren’t going to give your pursuits in life a good crack. Go big, or stay home and think about your life properly.

 

Raw emotion is infectious. Stop working so damn hard!

I feel like right now, for the first time in my life, I’ve become a magnet for all the people I want to have in my life. I no longer have to work my ass off to influence people or pitch them my ideas. People come to me.

Not because I’m so special but because I deliver raw emotion. I tell the whole story and I don’t hold back. I used to have to reach out to people a lot and have these big paragraphs in my emails about all my achievements and the people I know.

Now I just link to my work that has raw emotion and what I say does the convincing / selling for me.

“This is me, and if you like it, then we should talk.”

That’s what I say in my head. There’s no BS sales pages or template emails. You can’t grab another one of me off the shelf and then copy and paste me.

The raw emotion I deliver is inside of me. You can see it in my eyes. You can see it in the way I stand. You can even see it in the words I type.

 

So what now Mr. Tim?

Well, I’ve told you the power of raw emotion. I’ve made it clear what it’s done to my life. I’ve explained how you can do the same.

Now it comes down to action. Action is the thing that people always tell themselves they will do but often never do. If you like the sound of what I’ve said about raw emotion sailor, then you need to try it for yourself. Test it out for a week and see what I mean.

Watch people look at you as an authority figure. See people’s reactions. Most of all, notice how you feel differently. Your whole life is put into perspective when you stop holding back and deliver the value you have inside of you with raw emotion.

If you want to stand out from the crowd, then build up the courage inside of you to deliver raw emotion.

Raw emotion is where it’s at. It’s the secret to how all of the people you are inspired by get to do what they love and reach lots of people.

Now it’s action time.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

10 Simple Steps for Self-Motivation

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self-motivation

Renowned American motivational speaker and author, Dr. Stephen R. Covey once remarked: “Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly.” How do you define motivation?

There are two distinct types of motivation:

  • Intrinsic: Motivation that comes from within ourselves.
  • Extrinsic: Motivation that is derived from outside source such as a friend, colleagues, seniors at workplace, religious or spiritual leaders, spouse, kids and lots more.

Briefly, motivation can be described as a reason or cause by which a person or a group of people behave in a certain manner. The cause or the reason has to be extremely strong, and it often involves self interest.

Considering you have good and healthy plans that do not conflict with any laws, rules and regulations, staying motivated is quite easy. Basically, motivation is merely a state of mind. Utilized properly, it can take you to heights you may have never dreamed of.

However, our simple steps below will guide you on how to remain motivated at all times, despite any adversities you may encounter:

1. Goal Setting

Setting a goal for yourself is a time-tested and proven method to remain motivated. However, it is important to set realistic and achievable goals. Set yourself a deadline by which you intend to achieve these goals.

There are three types of goals:

  • Short term goals: These may be achieved in a few weeks or a couple of months.
  • Mid-term goals: These usually take a year or two to achieve.
  • Long-term goals: Here you can include your career options, plans for marriage, buying a home or anything that takes a longer span of time.

2. Money matters

Regardless whether we like it or not, money does matter in remaining motivated. Here, we are not speaking about millions of dollars. We are saying that having sufficient funds to lead a decent life is a great motivator by itself. You can start by saving a healthy portion of your income daily or monthly.

3. Shun any loans

Undoubtedly, people encumbered with loans exhibit a tendency to lose motivation. The reason is simple:  A considerable portion of your earnings will go towards servicing whatever loans or credit card dues you have. Avoid getting into loans as much as possible, unless it is for some genuine and strong reason such as buying a home.

4. Stay with positive people

Generally, people with a positive mindset and attitude are the best motivators. Regardless of your situation, they will always try and uplift your state of mind. Such positive minded people will motivate you even if you are feeling low and beaten. Further, whenever you encounter negative thoughts, speak with such people by either meeting them or on phone.

5. Appreciate yourself first

Whenever you lose motivation, think of all the positive stuff you have done in the past and reflect on great experiences you have had. Also, remember all the adverse times you have been through and how you sailed out of them unharmed. Appreciating yourself for your achievements is a great motivational tool.

“When you’re trying to motivate yourself, appreciate the fact that you’re even thinking about making a change. And as you move forward, allow yourself to be good enough.” – Alice Domar

6. Use mistakes as experiences

This means learning from your past mistakes, because as humans we are all prone to mistakes due to inherent defects or flaws in our character. Remember, mistakes are not final. They hold vital lessons for us. Most people tend to lose motivation when things go awry and desired results are not forthcoming.

7. Examine your motive

Once again, as Dr. Stephen R. Covey puts it, the key to motivation lies in the motive itself. Should your motives be good and in conformity with laws, motivation follows automatically. But beware, wrong motives can lead to misplaced motivation which can land even the most stable and sober person into deep trouble. Once your motives are positive and clear, motivation follows automatically.

8. Avoid getting over-stressed

Stress can be divided into two different categories:

  1. Negative stress: That arises out of negative actions, interacting with obnoxious people and lethargy or laziness, continuing exposure to painful or unpleasant situations and loneliness.
  2. Positive stress: Accrues by solving work related or domestic problems. Positive stress usually leaves you satisfied and happy once the issue has been resolved or after a hard day’s work.

Stress in daily life is imminent. Staying motivated helps you to remain motivated.

9. Choose to be happy

Now this may sound like a tall order for anyone encountering adverse situations. However, it is worthwhile to note, every bad situation always passes. Be aware that every bad circumstance will eventually vanish. Losing motivation will not help solve any problem and neither will worrying about something. You can maintain your motivation with the sheer thought that every problem is temporary.

10. Chart your map

Sadly, most people embark on a project or endeavor without much heed to the end result. Instead, you can chart your own roadmap. Take an inventory about how you want to begin and why. This in itself is a great motivational factor. Simultaneously, bear in mind what is the exact objective or the end where your endeavor should culminate. Be fearless in your pursuit of your dreams and goals.

“I am happy because I’m grateful. I choose to be grateful. That gratitude allows me to be happy.” – Will Arnett

It is worthwhile to remember, we all lose motivation at some point of life. This is perfectly normal and nothing to be alarmed about. Analyzing cause of losing motivation, understanding and finding ways and means to counter it, works miracles indeed. Lack of motivation, left untreated, can lead to mental ailments.

How do you remain self-motivated? Let us know in the comments below!

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