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Why You’ve Failed Your New Years Resolutions and How You Can Fix It

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stop blaming yourself set your goals

It’s late January and statistics have it that only 8% of people will stick with their New Years resolutions after 30 days.

With most already having quit. Maybe that’s you. And that’s fine. Next year consider making the resolution to never set New Years resolutions.

I see it this way: resolutions are for people who believe that they have one shot to turn their life around, once a year. Goals are for people who know they can turn their life around, every second of every day.

New Years resolutions are often set on the emotional high of the coming year, when all your friends and family can talk about nothing else. The new possibilities, the end of a bad year and the first page of a new book are among some of the clichés. This then becomes near on impossible for us to see our resolutions through because that emotion they were built on dissipates. It’s like building a house on quicksand. We get discouraged and quit, until the next year.

Understand that if you’ve failed don’t wait for a perceived fresh start, instead know that each moment is a new beginning. Every second of your life is a fresh start. Free yourself of the shackles of time. Align yourself in the now. And set goals.

“I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the years” – Henry Moore

There are many ways to set goals. Over the last 10 years I’ve trialled a few ways and at the moment have found one that works for me. I think that’s the key – works for me. There is no right or wrong approach to goal setting, well, accept not setting any.

 

To get you started here are a few ways:

  1. Write them down with a deadline
  2. Write them down with no deadline
  3. Write them down with no deadline, but with rewards

 

The standard approach to goal setting is to jot down your goals and add deadlines to them. I used this approach for 5 years, with limited success. I found it overwhelming, and when I looked back on the year I realised I had achieved about 2 goals.

The second approach was certainly less stressful however I found that I was even less motivated because their was no time target so I went days, even weeks without thinking about my goals. When you don’t think about them, you don’t work on them.

Then I stumbled on the third approach which I first learned about from Steve Kamb’s reward based goal setting TEDx talk. I now add experience points to my goals like a computer game. When I complete one I add it to my goal table with the date and points. After I get 100 points, my life levels up. It’s a little cheesy, but it’s fun. And on average I complete about 7 goals a year now. But what’s better is I’m incentivised to challenge myself more and put myself out there.

 

Steve Kamb’s Ted Talk on Resetting Your Life

 

It’s all about knowing yourself. You may be someone who thrives on deadlines, and that is awesome. Go set them. If you’re not however consider approach 3, and watch your life transform.

I want to end on this:

Pursuing success is amazing, it gives life meaning. But never forget that the journey is the reward.

“I have walked that long road to freedom. I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come. But I can only rest for a moment, for with freedom come responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not ended.” – Nelson Mandela

To your success,

Stuart

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The One Concept We All Need to Accept for a Happier Life

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Best Man Speech: “I met Caleb when I was 15. I’ve been with him through a broken collar bone when he got sacked in football, being suspended from school when we well…let’s just say got in trouble. I’ve been with him through his first heartbreak and I will never forget the night he told me he was going to marry Jackie. You two are meant for each other, I knew it from the first time I saw you together. So, let’s raise a glass to Caleb and Jackie, today is a day filled with happiness but remember, This Too Shall Pass”. (more…)

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2 Ways to Stop Your Negative Thoughts From Sucking the Life Out of You

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One of the greatest powers we have is the ability to have thoughts. Yes, sometimes those thoughts become negative or detrimental and they don’t serve us, but sometimes those thoughts are empowering and can take us anywhere. But have you ever asked yourself where your thoughts come from? (more…)

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Self Confidence Will Take Your Life to New Heights

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Everybody wants to gain self-confidence. And for good reason, true confidence allows you to feel good about yourself and your abilities. You smile more and have an upbeat and pleasant demeanour because you genuinely love yourself and your life. As a result, you attract people (and opportunities) to you effortlessly because of the warm vibe of friendliness you exude to the rest of the world. I can’t think of a single person who doesn’t like being around warm hearted and friendly people. (more…)

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Knowledge Doesn’t Facilitate Change. How Real Transformation Happens

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“OMG! That’s so me!” Have you ever said this after getting your results from a personality test? If you look around the digital space, you’ll see people identifying themselves by their personality types in all kinds of situations, from business to dating. Whether it’s their Myers-Briggs personality type, their DISC personality, their Enneagram type, or even their zodiac sign, personality types have become a way for people to showcase who they are to others. (more…)

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