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Why Fear Should Be Your Compass in Life, Not a Deterrent

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Facing Your Fears

Our deepest, darkest, most numbing fears aren’t spiders, rats, or snakes. While they may frighten us, our fear of spiders and such, probably won’t lead us to live a small, insignificant life. Fear of failure will.

We fear insignificance, and never truly experiencing the vast adventures that life can potentially offer us if we have the courage that they require of us. We fear that we’re headed on a road that will leave us alone in our beds, with regret as our only companion as we face whatever comes next.

Although fear can make us live small lives spent worrying about trivial things as great adventures pass us by, it can also be the solution to the problem, and the riddle that life throws at us daily: Why are we here?

Fear can keep us living the small, insignificant lives that are in direct opposition to the lives we lead in our dreams, when our souls are free to feel, think, and explore a world without limitation.

 

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”

 

The greatest obstacles in life are always internal

They’re our fears, laziness, a belief that we’re not worthy of our dreams and ambitions. The obstacles, being internal, are then solved in the same space.

When you face your fears, you break down your obstacles and create a newer, better version of yourself that does have the belief and confidence needed to accomplish the loftier of our dreams.

The majority, however, never embark on the difficult journey that every great man or woman has taken, ultimately because of the internal forces like fear and laziness. They feel it’s easier to remain, and more difficult to gain and grow. But the dangers in remaining just where we are in life, for the rest of our lives, is far greater than any battle we can involve ourselves in, even if that battle is with our own fear.

To not face fear and move towards the life we truly want in our souls, is to ignore our spirit’s compass that tells us what we want out of this existence that may be brief, but it should also be glorious.

 

Move Towards Your Fears. Don’t Run From Them.

Fear is often coupled with adventure, as it should be. A life lived in the pursuit of adventure is a life that truly embodies the essence of living. There’s a reason why the excitement and the thrill of an adventure is so intoxicating. It goes far beyond the release of endorphins that give us a natural high. Adventure is an experience that makes us feel alive. In this case fear is something we should move towards, not run from.

But fear should also be mentioned with our most audacious dreams. It’s fear that stops us from living a fulfilled life, but it’s also fear that shows us what really matters in life.

 

Who are you most afraid of losing in your life?

Spend more time with those people than any others.

 

What would you be most afraid to attempt, and possibly fail at?

Do that. If “that” is starting your own business, then take the risk and grow as a result of merely taking that risk. If “that” is traveling, then travel, and grow from the experience of breaking free of the bubble you’ve lived within your entire life.

The greatest crime we could ever commit is in not attempting those things in our lives that would excite us, fulfil us, and allow us to die without regret.

In other words, safety is our greatest crime.

Let your fear guide you towards who, and what, matters most to you. Don’t let it deter you from living the life you have always known you want to live. That life you live every night as you lay down and enter the world you’d truly like to exist in. The world where you conquer every one of your fears, live with courage, bravery, and are the hero of a story that you write. Your fear has no part in this narrative as an obstacle.

fear is a liar 

 

3 Actions Steps You Need To Take Right Now

Here are 3 actions steps you can take right now to use fear to your advantage.

 

1. Find a mentor

What does finding a mentor have to do with facing fears?

Simple, proof. We need proof that even dreams greater than our own can be accomplished by people who were even further back when they started than we are right now.

Your greatest dream is what you fear most, as is embarking on a road that will test your potential and your resilience. Study a single person who’s accomplished something you’d love to accomplish. Find out what it took to get there, and see that you, too, can do anything you want with your life if you’re willing to risk and work.

 

2. Write down your dream

Get your greatest dreams on paper. Tell someone about them. Put them out there and make them known to the world. Don’t keep them hidden.

 

3. Break it down

It’s great to have dreams, but they’re useless without action. Be that guy that faces fears in his actions, not just with his mouth or in his dreams.

Identify action steps you’re going to take…

  • Today (start today!)
  • This month
  • This quarter
  • Before the year is done

Don’t go beyond this year. Keep everything in the immediate future, and revisit these actions steps once a week on Sundays where you can check them off and add more.

Chad Howse is the creator of Be Legendary, a company dedicated to helping guys experience greatness in Fitness, Work, & Life. Chad has been featured in Men's Health, Men's Fitness, and Shape magazines, and is a contributor to the Art of Manliness, and Addicted2Success.

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11 Comments

11 Comments

  1. Janet

    Aug 21, 2018 at 1:05 am

    Exposure causes a slow death to one’s fear. On the other hand, when we hide from our fears we make our fear stronger and long-lived. great article! Thanks for sharing.

  2. Benito

    May 16, 2016 at 2:32 am

    Valuable information. Lucky me I discovered your site
    unintentionally, and I am stunned why this accident did not came about in advance!
    I bookmarked it.

  3. eminem songs lyrics

    Feb 6, 2015 at 2:14 am

    Pretty! This was a really wonderful article. Thank you for providing
    this information.

  4. Jenkins

    Sep 5, 2013 at 3:39 pm

    Nice and wonderful pieces you friends put up. Is it OK for us to refer (and possibly cull) your essays in our compilations? Jenkins

  5. Tim Greig

    Jul 14, 2013 at 10:46 pm

    Fear is the dragon that hides the treasure within…

  6. Abhay

    Jul 11, 2013 at 6:58 am

    F – False
    E – Evidence
    A – Appearing
    R – Real

    • Monet Diamante

      Aug 14, 2013 at 12:21 am

      Nice, Abhay. I was just about to post the same thing, with the exception of the ‘E’. I usually use False Expectations Appearing Real. 🙂

  7. Bee A Al Misned

    Jul 10, 2013 at 5:42 pm

    Thank you Chad. That was a fantastic read.

  8. Davidoff

    Jul 9, 2013 at 11:14 pm

    Thanks for the boost of motivation to crunch my fears Chad, I love this website and love the advice, every champion must visit this site before they are successful. great efforts yo!

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Life

Don’t Want To Feel Like A Failure Anymore? Stop Doing These 6 Things

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It’s pretty annoying isn’t it? All those great and accomplished people telling you that FAILURE is a necessity on your way to success. Yeah, that’s easy for them to say; they’re already ‘on the other side’! You on the other hand, are still struggling all day everyday to get your business lifted off the ground and are really not that sure if you’re indeed going to make it.

There’s that little voice in your head that keeps telling you that you don’t have the stuff to make it all happen. Not now and not ever. You feel like a failure…it’s holding you back and you don’t know how to deal with it. Well you could do yourself a favor and start dealing with it by doing the following things:

1. Stop Denying You Feel Like A Failure

Telling yourself things are going great when they’re not is one of the biggest, though most useless, coping mechanisms human beings deploy in rough times. Common denial signals among entrepreneurs: trying to regain more control by working even more hours and on the other side compensating this by letting go of all this control by partying and drinking way too hard.

What you’re doing is denying yourself the opportunity to actually feel what’s going on and acknowledge the problem; that both you and your business are in a bad place. Without acknowledging it, it’ll be pretty difficult to actually STOP feeling it. And remember, just because you feel like a failure, this does not mean that you indeed ARE a failure!

2. Stop Making It Bigger Than it Really Is

This is one of those other ‘fun’ things human beings do; we blow things way out of proportion in our heads! In business, when you lose that big client you’ve been working on for weeks, it feels like it’s the end of the world. You start doubting yourself, your strategy, your entire business model right up to the point where you barely sleep because you’re working on pivoting the whole thing.

But what if that customer simply didn’t have the money to go for your service anyway? Or what if they just decided to go for someone who is cheaper but who offers less quality? Does that mean there’s something wrong with YOU? Or that this was the ONLY customer out there and that you’re now doomed forever?

Of course not, it simply means that THIS CUSTOMER wasn’t a match. It’s a bit like dating actually…So if you take this into consideration, could it be that you just feel like a failure instead of really not succeeding in that what you want to at this point in time?

3. Stop Thinking You’re The Only One Who Feels Like This

You’re not! With the possible exception of the true sociopaths, that feeling you’re feeling is very normal to EVERYONE. It might not seem like it on the outside – because people don’t like to acknowledge this remember – but I can guarantee you that it’s true. But unlike 99% of the world’s population, YOU’RE not going to let this feeling stop you in your tracks. Are you?

4. Stop Thinking You’re Supposed To Be Superhuman

In fact, it’s very likely that you’re already doing, learning and succeeding at WAY more than most other people are. But for entrepreneurs, somehow, that never seems to be enough. You don’t just want to be successful after a few years of hard work (which is normal). You want to be successful after only a few months. Because you’re special…or at least you think you are…

Well, here’s the truth: you ARE special! But…it’s just not very likely that you’re one of those – very very rare – entrepreneurial superstars that – seemingly – just added some hot water and got instant business success as a result.

5. Stop Being So Incredibly Stubborn

Entrepreneurs are stubborn…almost by default. It’s what makes them push forward in the hardest of times. But…if you’re not doing the right things right you might just be hammering a square peg through a round hole. Which will only add to that frustrated feeling you’re already having. So why not stop being so stubborn for a moment, stop hammering away on that what obviously is not working and ask for help?

No matter who you ask – a business mentor or coach, a befriended entrepreneur – someone with a neutral perspective on you and our business will be very likely to see what’s going on with a lot more clarity than you can and can guide you to a place that will feel a whole lot more comfortable.

6. Stop Being Afraid Of Failure

I know, I know, you’ve heard this a million times before and you wouldn’t be in this pickle if you could do this. Right? I’m right there with ya!

But, if you get really rational about it, what’s the worst that could happen?

  • You might have to get a ‘real’ job for a while and start over on the side;
  • You might not be able to afford your rent anymore…but with Airbnb on the 1 hand and couchsurfing on the other, you should be able to work it out somehow;
  • You’ll have all the more experience to start over a whole lot faster;
  • You’ll be no less respected by anyone because it’s clear you gave it your all;
  • In a few years, when you’re an established and supersuccessful entrepreneur you’ll also have a cool failure story to tell;
  • None of your limbs will fall off;

Now that’s not too bad for a plan B is it? Failure is such a negative word. And the associated feeling is terrible and numbing. But really…how is giving it your all and not succeeding really the same as failing? Shouldn’t the definition of failure not be along the lines of ‘not even trying’ or ‘giving up when it gets hard’?

In other words: stop beating yourself up over this!

There’s really no need to feel like a failure at all because you’re sticking your neck out, you’re trying to make a difference and you’re still moving upward on that treacherous entrepreneurial mountain.

And that…is what success REALLY is.

Those Who Failed Their Way To Success

Quotes To Live By:

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy

“If you don’t try at anything, you can’t fail… it takes back bone to lead the life you want” – Richard Yates

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison

“We are all failures – at least the best of us are.” – J.M. Barrie

“Success is stumbling form failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm” – Winston Churchill

“Don’t let success go to your head and failure to your heart” – Will Smith

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Although a vast majority of people think that creativity is something you are born with, the truth is a bit different. While we cannot deny that you need natural talent to a certain extent, stimulating creative thinking is indeed a matter of practice. If you give this thought a bit of thinking, you can realize pretty quickly that even the most fascinating and creative minds have faced the lack of creativity at some point in their lives. (more…)

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Some people will achieve great things. Others won’t. But why is that? We’re all just “talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe,” as Joe Rogan puts it. So why do some “talking monkeys” build 7 or 8 figure businesses, travel the world, and live the life of their dreams while the rest of us… well, wish we were living the life of our dreams. (more…)

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