No matter how much self-development you do, there is going to be a time when even the most perfect person’s life gets out of control. Right now, I feel like my life is somewhat like this. I feel like I’ve done things that I’m not proud of and it has all transpired in such a short time.
This feeling is normal, and there is always going to be winter in every season of your life. I’m in the depth of winter as we speak, and it’s tough. Through all of the cold, what keeps me going is the belief that this won’t last forever. This is normal and even the people I look up to have dealt with this.
This winter patch is all about growth. The unhappiness I feel about my goals that still remain untouched is where the next phase of growth is. Our life is supposed to get out of control so that we can take control back again and for me, inspire people at the same time.
With everything that goes wrong, there is a lesson for the people I love (you guys). I wouldn’t have this library of lessons to share with you all if my life was like one of those cookie cutter Instagram models that get horny over their reflection.
So after my recent challenges, here are the 10 things you can do when your life get’s out of control:
1. Make a major life changing decision
When your life is out of control, it’s the best possible time to take massive action. Action is what will give you control back and put you back in the driver’s seat. The chances are that there is a root cause as to why your life is not the way you want it.
Look at where you work, who you spend time with, and your romantic relationship. Somewhere in these three areas will be the clue you need to make your big decision. Ask yourself deep down what really makes you angry.
Think about who is getting in the way of your dream and stopping you from reaching your full potential. Does everyone around you encourage you to keep following your passion or do some people think what you’re doing is dumb?
Once you have identified the problem area you need to forget how things were, and the comfort that comes with that, and be prepared to drop bombs and do whatever it takes to change the course of your life. Fear is going to sweep in at 100 miles and hour, but you will have to squash it with all of your willpower.
Weak people can’t get back in control of their life, and weak people tend to fail a lot. You’re not weak, and you have guts and determination.
2. Stay true to your habits
Even if your life get’s out of control, it’s imperative that you hold on to your positive habits. These habits might be: drinking a juice, doing a workout, practicing meditation or reading a book every week. No matter what, these habits are your foundation, and you cannot get lazy and drop them.
Through tough times it’s easy to lose the motivation to power on through your habits. The thing is, during tough times you need your habits like mediation even more.
Through my own rough patch, I have doubled the amount of meditation I do each day from ten minutes to twenty minutes. Now more than ever I need inner peace and a time to reflect on all the mind chatter that is playing out every minute of the day.
3. Set some new goals
I’ve found that when your life is out of control, part of the reason why, is that you need some new goals. The current goals you have are not keeping you motivated, or they might even be too easy.
I’ve crushed most of my year’s goals already, and I’ve found that this achievement has made it more likely for me to become lazy. For this reason, I have created two brand new goals that have lots of fear and require me to go out and do things that I used to procrastinate doing.
New goals help you to try something new and give you a reason to focus back on controlling your life again.
4. Accept a lapse in decision-making
I’ve had some lapses in decision-making in recent weeks, and I’ve let myself get worked up about it. What I have discovered though is that it’s important to realise that you will sometimes make a bad decision. Each week you make more than two hundred decisions and statistically speaking some of those will be bad choices.
Understand that bad choices are normal, and as long as you are making more positive decisions than negative, it will all balance out in the end. Now that’s off my chest I am going to forgive myself for that coffee I drank ☺
5. Go and do a good deed
If your world is spiraling out of control, then try and do a good deed. Go and help people whose life is even crazier than your own and get some perspective. You’d be surprised how in control your life really is compared to say a homeless person who has no money to buy dinner.
Find somewhere in your community where you can go in undercover and coach some people. Coaching people is a great way to use the lessons you have learned to help someone achieve their dream. I’ve found coaching to be one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life.
What’s even more fun is when one of your students achieves the impossible and you get even more happiness out of the experience than they do. You were put on this earth to inspire people so go and do it and forget about your problems for five minutes!
6. Figure out what’s good in your life
A feeling that your life is out of control can often be brought on by focusing too much on the negative points of your reality. There are some parts of your life that work really well that you’ve forgotten about.
Think of how you might pay your bills on time, have a well-kept automobile, have a tidy home, have access to smart people, work a good job, or have a business that pays for your lifestyle. There’s always something that you have right now that’s just right. Make a list of those things and then study them.
Tell social media all the good you have right in your life and watch your friends reach out and support you. There’s no way you can feel out of control when you reframe just how good some areas of your life are.
“Trying to strive for perfection is what will give you a feeling that your life is out of control” – Tim Denning
7. Escape to the countryside
When life doesn’t go the way you want it to, sometimes the best thing you can do is escape your current circumstances for a week and get some perspective. I’m doing this by going overseas for a few weeks to focus on something other than problems.
Our minds are curious by nature, and when we go to a place we haven’t been before we become explorers of our reality rather than being trapped in it.
Smell the roses, walk on a foreign beach, and speak to people from another culture. You might just find a new found way to gain control back again in all the newness that you’ve brought into your life.
“It’s impossible to be stuck in your head when you’re in a new environment that you haven’t visited before”
8. Decide how you want to live your life
Feeling like your life is out of control will only help you to dig a deeper hole for yourself unless you decide to set a new vision. Clearly, if your life is out of control, it’s because you haven’t decided how you want it to be and set a vision.
For me, I’ve set the vision up, but I’ve forgotten to readjust the GPS co-ordinates once in while. Once you know how your life needs to be, you need to write down the action steps you’re going to take to get there. This is not a time for beating around the bush and struggling to make a decision.
This time, it’s about getting clarity and then being unwavering in your approach to getting the results of the vision you so desire. You have to get aggressive here and not settle for second best otherwise you will never get back in control of your life again.
“You’re 100% to blame for where you are right now and only you can change your reality” – Tim Denning
It’s no one else’s fault if you feel lonely or uninspired – it’s yours. There are people all over the world that would love to speak with you and talk about a whole range of topics.
There are people on social media that love what you do, and you can’t let them down by sulking. This game plan you have set out to achieve success and financial freedom is supposed to be hard. Otherwise, everyone would be driving a baby blue Lamborghini with the top down listening to Rihanna.
Reassess where you’re at and step up the game with a refresh of your vision. Don’t be lazy and put up with this BS reality you might be experiencing right now. Don’t take any prisoners along with you and stick to your standards that you’ve committed to.
How can you shake things up and get back control of your life? Let me know in the comments section below or on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook.
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