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How To Create Positivity In Your Life When All Hope Seems Lost

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Creating Positivity When All Hope Seems Lost

Dealing with dark times can be hard. Sometimes there is no simple way out, and it can at times seem like all hope is lost. There is always a solution to every problem, and it’s entirely possible to get out of a hopeless situation.

I am going through a tough time at the moment after a breakup and a few other challenges have arisen all at the same time. I feel lucky that I have spent a substantial amount of time on personal growth over the last few years, so my tool belt to deal with these issues is fully packed.

With that said, it doesn’t always make it any easier. Whether you experience pain or not is entirely up to you. Pain is a decision, and I personally choose not to go down that road. It’s not easy to avoid though because it can often be our minds default position if we don’t practice self-control.

Life is an amazing gift and when we sit back and remember that, the dark cloud start to clear even if it’s only for a moment.

Below are 7 ways to create positivity in your life when it feels like all hope seems lost and I am successfully using all of these strategies as I write this blog post:

 

1. Send out gratitude SMS’s

When times are tough, and your chips are down, a creative way to bring positivity in your life is to send out gratitude SMS’s to everyone that you are close with. Personalise each message and tell your friends why you appreciate them in your life. Don’t make it war and peace but truly express what they mean to you.Gratitude SMS

If done correctly, you should get a flood of SMS’s back with words of encouragement. I did this recently, and it really helped me see the positivity in my life. It showed me that people do care just as much as I care about them.

Some of the SMS’s can even spark up conversations with people you haven’t spoken to in a while. You’ll quickly realise that you are more successful and more cared for than you think.

 

2. Foster the belief

Belief is one of the cornerstones of our life. What we believe shapes who we are. To create positivity during a dark period of your life, you have to believe that the season will pass and that you are destined for greater things.

For the last few weeks, I have focused on the belief that my current circumstances will change because I am cultivating the proper beliefs that I can be something special no matter what anyone else may think about me.

All of this advice, all of the entrepreneur friends I have, all of the healthy eating I’ve committed to, is meant to help me be something bigger. It will become apparent as long as I’m patient and believe that a higher purpose is the only way forward.

Concentrate on the present and the daily habits that will help get you back on track. Creating positive thoughts and living in a positive way can only equal one thing: positive results.

“Believe in yourself no matter what and don’t stay in the past”

 

3. Meditate like crazy

When all hope seems lost your mind becomes even busier than usual. Your head fills with destructive thoughts that have the energy and power to destroy everything you have worked for. Again, exercising self-control, through meditating like crazy is a great way to reign in those stray thoughts.

131284661 (1)Start with five minutes which is a goal you can definitely achieve. Then, try doing this multiple times through the day. As the momentum starts to build, crank up the sessions to 15-20 minutes at a time. Don’t let anything stop you and enjoy the calm feeling that you will get from your sessions.

Meditation is the number one way to calm your mind so that it can be a breeding ground for new, positive thoughts.

 

4. Write an Ebook

Using a mindset of abundance you can take a difficult situation and use it to create value for other people. Nothing but positive things can happen to you when you give for no reason at all. An Ebook of advice is the Small Ebook Cover - How To Become A Game Changing Influencer Online And Inspire Millionsantidote to your pain.

I have just completed a new Ebook called “How To Become A Game Changing Influencer Online And Inspire Millions.” This is not a shameless plug but a free Ebook I am giving to all of the readers of Addicted2Success to say thank you for all the support.

Again, nothing but positivity can come from giving value to others and trying to do good in the world through a positive message. Focus on what you can do for others and what value you bring to the table. Your mind will have no choice other than to cultivate positive thoughts.

 

5. Visit a homeless shelter

Similar to the previous point, an excellent way to get through a tough time is to remove yourself from the equation and go and visit a homeless shelter. In a homeless shelter, your dreams and goals can be actualised without you even realising it.

Going beyond yourself and helping those who are in a much tougher situation than you creates positivity. It will show you that even when you think your story is bad and that no one could be as unlucky as you, you’re wrong.

Little old you has the power to change someone’s entire day through the act of handing out a meal to someone that can’t afford their own. Your presence even has the power to change that homeless person’s day to where they make the decision to change their circumstances forever.

Now isn’t that a great way to forget about your troubles and cultivate positivity in the world?

 

6. Read “The Pursuit Of Happyness”

This book is the first one you should read if you are going through a culmination of negative events in your life. The story of Chris Gardner growing up in a violent home and then raising a child while being homeless will change your perspective.

Stories of struggle and then ultimately triumph will build your confidence and show you that all it takes is a little positivity to get up off the ground, dust yourself off, and have another go at your dream. No one is going to judge you because they have their own challenges to worry about.

 

7. Call those who have the dream life

We all have people around us that have the life we dream of. When all hope seems lost, these people are the one’s you should call. Don’t scare them off with negative vibes, rather, have a conversation with them about what they did to be successful.

Find out the strategies and most importantly, find out what they thought when they had to overcome challenges. Through these people, you can learn so much about how to deal with your own situation.

Johnny Depp Smoking A CigaretteI did this very exercise and one of the calls I had revealed something that I never knew. The person who I thought had an awesome life actually came from a very dark place. They admitted to sleeping with prostitutes, double dropping ecstasy pills, and smoking crack cocaine.

This person went from what seemed like the habits of a suicidal person, to being an inspirational entrepreneur and living a dream lifestyle. You have to get good at looking beyond the colorful Instagram photos of all the people that will sell you the false idea that they’re life is perfect and go behind the scenes.

Being good at asking questions will give you the only tool you need to start digging and understanding more about the people you admire. Through other people’s dreams, you get to see a glimpse of your own. Your dream is only possible when you foster positivity in your life.

Go beyond your story and use it to bring happiness to everyone around you. Get on this thing we call the Internet and start sharing. Inspire the world through what you do and never spend a moment bringing people down. As you build up other people, you will build up yourself.

“Positive results come from positive actions. Get off the couch, turn off Game Of Thrones, and go do something that will create positivity. Like attracts like. Positive thoughts attract positive results” – Tim Denning

How have you created positivity in your own life? Let me know on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook.

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared millions of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around personal development and entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net

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13 Comments

13 Comments

  1. Shaleza Aise

    Aug 28, 2016 at 5:48 pm

    Hey, Tim.
    Thanks for writing such a great article. I’ve had dark periods in the past and I’ve learnt to keep happy and positive, due to my long term interest in personal development.
    However, we are all human and even small or temporary setback can leave you feeling jaded. I was having a ‘sad day’ and I started to feel better, when I came across your article and it catapulted me right back to my usual grateful self.
    I use many of the strategies you talked about, but I think I need to write more on my blog. I used to in the past, but now I find it harder to sit and write, for fear the flood gates will open. Maybe that would not be a bad thing.
    I find meditation to be an amazing help. It quietens the mind and gives me much peace.
    Thank you so much for sharing and I hope you pass through your difficult time/ circumstances speedily. We are all connected in this great universe of ours and I send you my best wishes.

    Shaleza

  2. The Broke Dad

    Aug 13, 2016 at 12:39 pm

    Well said. I have been in those dark places before and though I have never done all of the steps you have listed I have used several of them. Writing is a big thing for me. When I was down, in that dark place, and feeling like things would never improve I started to write. It was difficult, I had to force myself to do it, but once I started I could not stop my thoughts from flooding out of me and onto the screen in front of me. It was an amazing type of therapy and it cost me nothing. Now reading your post I wish I would have known what an e-book was so I could have saved all of those thoughts and put it into a book to help others.
    Thanks again for a great post. Enjoyed it

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 14, 2016 at 11:09 pm

      Broke Dad I love your blog and thanks for sharing your insight! Writing can help all of us get our thoughts out of our head and onto paper. When we see our thoughts in the physical form we start to see them differently and all of a sudden the BS we are telling ourselves becomes clear.

  3. Adebayo

    Aug 11, 2016 at 7:47 pm

    I am always inspired around here 2b sincere Tim keep it up.
    Raising capital is my issue but with time it will b past.
    Keep it up.

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 12, 2016 at 10:26 am

      Adebayo thanks for spreading the love. Raising capital is a tough one. What’s most important is that you have a team behind you that investors will want to back. Have confidence and know that you may have to try over one hundred options for finance before you find the right one.

  4. Charlene Rhinehart

    Aug 11, 2016 at 9:17 am

    Another great article! Thanks for sharing, Tim! I needed an extra dose of motivation in order to recover from a few no responses that I received today so I started to peruse this site for inspiration. This was the first article I saw and it immediately drew me in. Just what I needed to give me an energy boost! Thanks Tim!

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 11, 2016 at 7:53 pm

      Thanks Charlene. We all need a bit og motivation to get us going again. I’ve also received a few no responses recently from certain people I’ve reached out to. My advice is to just keep trying to reach them. I tried for one year to get to a celebrity entrepreneur recently and finally got a hold of him. It takes real patience.

  5. Chris Targett

    Aug 11, 2016 at 5:47 am

    Everyone can use more positivity in their lives, it’s infectious. I think it’s great that you spoke to someone successful and found out that they’ve had struggles in their life, we look at successful people and think they have always been successful, but with digging deeper we find that they are human after all.

    That is going to be my task, find someone who has been successful, sit down with them and see what they have done in their life to get where they are now.

    Thanks for the article Tim

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 11, 2016 at 6:01 am

      Chris thanks for your comments and for sharing your opinion. Successful people are often not who people think they are. I’ve learned this many times over the years.

  6. Ram Vijay

    Aug 11, 2016 at 5:45 am

    Tim, You are doing wonderful work by creating and sharing most needed articles . I am reading all of your articles and trying to follow it. Keep up the good work man!!!

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 11, 2016 at 5:58 am

      Wow thanks Ram for the very kind words and I’m glad you are reading all the articles!

  7. Toño

    Aug 11, 2016 at 2:20 am

    I wanted to get back to this article when I’ll return home from work, but could not help and read it now. During my morning meditation, I contemplated on the reply, barely concentrating on the practice haha.

    You always seem to find such a great pictures for your writing, Tim. They are eye-catching and fit so well to what you say.

    I really enjoyed the article, basically you don’t need any coffe to make your morning as this is what will feel you awake and aware! Meditate like crazy? Hah, I loved it! Will certainly do, my friend.

    I also would like to add daily motivation to this list as it becomes highly important ingredient in my life right now. After so many hours of practicing it I feel like something changing inside of me and to keep this change you should motivate yourself every single day. I realized quite a long time ago that process of going to sleep and them waking up is like a mini-born process and that you start your life every time you wake up. It may sound a bit crazy, but in my early ages, I was afraid to go to bed because I was feeling so good and did not want to lose my good mood and attitude. It is extremely vital to go to bed motivated to make sure your mind is in the right state, and when you wake up, start immediately to motivate yourself again. Work on yourself and never stop. You may require doing so few times a day, because we all know, motivation won’t last much long. At first, it will feel unnatural, heavy routine and the longer you stayed hopeless or depressed the harder to get started, but you will thank yourself later.

    Again, practice it daily and do not let it slip. The longer you procrastinate the worse you may feel. Eventually, you WILL feel better as nothing lasts forever, but as you are in control of your life and do not want circumstances control your mind, you should get back to motivation few times per day, or at the very least on your mornings and evenings. I usually do few different activities so my brain does not get bored. You can start your day with meditation, reading a good article on a2s, watching motivational video on youtube, write a letter of appreciation to Tim Denning :D, workout, jogging, listen to uplifting music or simple walk your beloved dog who is your best friend.

    I started today with meditation, this article, short video of one man doing his journey in the beautiful Hawaii, and about to listen to Preston Smiles’ audiobook and then some good vibe music. I know my day is gonna be awesome because I made my intention work and brought them to life. I decided to be aware and be happy.

    Loss of hope, depression or happiness, those are all state of your conditioned mind as everything on this Earth is neutral and you color your experience whatever you want. So choose wisely what you can shape your mind in.

    I meditated recently on why even though we work so hard to be happy, many of us tend to get back to the state of depression or simply feel not good so very often, and I realized it because of training. We train ourselves so very hard, with the passion and desire to feel bad that when we finally decide to feel good we struggle. Even when we succeed eventually, our brain will try to lure you into the grim state because it is so natural for it to indulge in our heavy thoughts. You trained it for years and of course, it will come back to familiar grounds. So now you can train to feel good, and when eventual downtime will hit you, it’s just the habit you can overcome.

    Thank you so much again Tim for getting me ready for the day, for the journey and amazing feelings, appreciate it highly! Much love to you, keep yourself healthy and have a wonderful day!

    Peace!

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 11, 2016 at 5:54 am

      Toño thanks for introducing me to the idea of a mini born again after sleeping. It’s a very interesting idea that I have thought of many times before and wondered to myself “what if this really was the case.”

      So glad the meditation is working out for you and the daily motivation suggestion is a good one. I also loved your quote that says we color our own world. I loved that!

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Life

How to Prevent Social Media From Stunting Your Personal Growth

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social media addiction
Image Credit: Twenty20.com

Over the years, social media has taken over our lives. Our society has become so addicted to social media to where we’re not only missing out on enjoying some of life’s most precious moments, but we’re also losing valuable interpersonal skills. The introverts have become more introverted, and the extroverts are becoming more recluse.

Social media has made “Netflix & Chill” the ideal date night, replacing the traditional “dinner and a movie” where you’re getting to know each other amongst others. If people were to go out, they have a constant need to document their every move on social media instead of being truly present and enjoying themselves. What’s also worse is that I see this social media dynamic being passed on to the younger generation. More and more kids are becoming hooked on social media, causing them to place their own personal value in the hands of strangers through a “like”.

Luckily, we don’t have to allow social media to ruin our lives. Despite how addicting social media is, we have complete control on how it’s used. Here’s how I prevent social media from stunting my own personal growth.

1. Limit Your Time On Social Media

Scrolling your timeline is like diving into a black hole. Once you start scrolling on Instagram, Facebook, or even Twitter, it’s hard to stop. Even for me, I struggle putting my phone down, thus getting sucked into the “social media matrix”.

What I found to be extremely helpful is limiting my time on social media. I literally allow myself a certain amount of minutes of “scroll time” before I put my phone away to focus on something else. Because my business revolves around social media, I check my phone approximately 4 times a day, for 15 minutes at a time. During those short periods, I’m responding to any comments or DMs, and engaging with other people’s posts to keep my own personal engagement high on my profile.

“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

2. Find New Hobbies

There was a period of time where I was very conscious of when and why I randomly start scrolling social media. What I discovered was that I was more prone to fall into the black hole of social media when I was bored.

I’m a part of the last generation to have experienced life without the internet and social media. I recall days being spent reading, wrestling with my dad, walking or riding bikes at the local park, playing sports outside with the neighborhood kids, or building small LEGO communities (remember those?). There was never a dull moment because our days were filled with hobbies.

If you let the demands of being an adult consume you, don’t be afraid to re-introduce your old hobbies back into your life.

3. Unplug With Family & Friends

There are more and more people who are spending time on social media in the company of their family and friends. Family dinners and time spent with your friends are now being interrupted by social media. As I mentioned earlier, this is typically a sign of boredom that comes across as rude to those in your presence. By not being in the moment, you could be missing out on valuable information and vital conversations that could strengthen your personal growth and interpersonal skills.

One thing I found to be helpful when in the presence of your friends and family is to designate one spot where everyone can dump their phones so that everyone is now forced to be in the moment and enjoy the company of those around them. At family dinner, I make everyone leave their phones in their room, and when my friends get together, I make them turn their phones off and place them in a small bag that I bring. It’s imperative that we unplug. You’ll find that the time spent was much more enjoyable when you’re focused on being mentally present.

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” – Oscar Wilde

4. Don’t Go To Bed With Your Phone

We’re all guilty of going to bed and falling asleep with our phones in our hand. There were times where I literally fell asleep looking at my phone in the air, and it dropped and popped me in the face. That was a “wake-up call”, literally, that I needed to change my ways. Not to mention, I also noticed that I was experiencing weird dreams and sometimes nightmares because of what I was consuming before I went to sleep. All of which is not good for your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.

Rather than charge my phone overnight using a power outlet close to the bed, I now charge my phone overnight on the other side of the room. The first few days of doing this was rough. I was so used to falling asleep scrolling social media that it was hard to fall asleep without it. Now, I lie down and meditate until I fall asleep. After a week of light meditation prior to sleep, I noticed that I woke up feeling energized and well rested. My mind wasn’t mentally fatigued like before, and my days were much more productive. As a result, I highly recommend everyone to go to bed without their phone by their side.

Conclusion

Moderation is key when it comes to social media consumption. Social media is not bad however, like anything, too much of something can have a reverse effect. Social media is a very valuable tool, one that allowed me to connect with people of all walks of life across the world and earn a living. We don’t have to let social media take over and ruin our lives. What we can do is find balance.

How do you stay balanced? Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Life

5 Mindset Shifts You Can Steal From the Movies to Have Blockbuster Success

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Image Credit: Unsplash

If only our clients had the passion of Potterheads. Remember the midnight premiers? Potterheads lined up for hours, dressed in full costume, wands a-blazin’. When the doors finally opened, they couldn’t throw their money at the ticket booth fast enough. How do you create that kind of enthusiasm for your own business?

I’m going to share five mindset shifts straight out of the movie business that you can use to fuel lifelong fanatics. Some of it is going to be tough love, but hey, nobody said getting your own fan club was easy.

1. Stay humble, stay hungry

Working actors audition an average of 67 times before booking a gig. 67 times! And that’s working actors—people who earn their entire livelihood from acting. Most entrepreneurs will hear this stat and say, “I get it. I need to accept failure 66 times.” But this isn’t about that. It’s about showing up 67.

Accepting failure is passive. You can accept failure from your couch. Showing up and trying, however, is active. When you show up, you commit to taking a step forward. And 66 times, you’ll get knocked down. It’s humbling. But on attempt 67, that step forward might finally stick.

Mindset shift: You have an insatiable appetite for success. You know that every failure is one failure down and that, soon, you’ll knock it out of the park.

“Don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning.” – Robert Kiyosaki

2. Treat your audience as kings

The box office doesn’t care what the director’s intentions were, how cool the writer is, or if the lead actor was featured in some fancy magazine, it cares about people in seats. And when thematic costumes clothe them (ala Potterheads), there are more of them.

In movies and entrepreneurship, your most critical metrics depend on your audience’s choices. So, the sooner you start treating your audience as kings and making everything about them, the sooner your metrics will start climbing.

How does the Harry Potter franchise treat Potterheads as kings? Movie premiers are 100% about the fans. They get to feel cool in costume, show off to friends, be among the first, hang out with other super-fans, and more. No matter what, putting your audience’s desire ahead of your own will always pay off in the long run.

Mindset shifts: Other entrepreneurs pursue immediate recognition. But you know that the more special you make your audience feel, the more success you’ll have down the road.

3. Depict compelling transformations

Humans have a fundamental desire for transformation. We love watching movies about redemption, growing up, settling down, overcoming adversity, underdogs, and more. Harry Potter is full of that stuff. Heck, the series even allowed a generation of readers to transform into adults alongside Harry.

This is why Before and After pictures are so incredibly persuasive. They help us to visualize the change we crave. And every single product or service on the market offers some form of transformation. All you have to do is call it out.  

Mindset shift: Bad entrepreneurs sell products. Good entrepreneurs sell solutions. Entrepreneurs who create rabid fans sell transformation.

4. Trust the fundamentals

When I took my first screenwriting class, the number of hyper-specific rules shocked me. Did you know that about 20 minutes into every movie, something dramatic changes in the protagonist’s life and propels them into a new world?

Don’t believe me? Time it. Unsurprisingly, one kid in my class completely ignored the rules. Even more unsurprisingly, his scripts sucked. When my professor called him out, the kid blubbered, “But Tarantino—” To which my professor replied, “Are you Tarantino?” No. No, he was not Tarantino.

The difference between you, me, that kid, and Tarantino is that Tarantino paid his dues. It’s extremely rare to find someone who became successful by completely ignoring the conventions of their craft. And the same is true for entrepreneurship.

Mindset shift: Nobody is “above” learning the fundamentals. You know that by appreciating the current structures and systems, you will be better poised to disrupt them in the future.

“If you really look closely, most overnight successes took a long time.” – Steve Jobs

5. Kill your darlings

Once upon a time, an animation studio was four years into creating a film about the ocean. They had sunk thousands of hours, hundreds of thousands of dollars, and a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into the project. Then, the unthinkable happened… Finding Nemo. You know what the studio did with their ocean movie? They scrapped it.

As entrepreneurs, once we invest a lot of time and energy into something, we’re afraid to abandon it—even if the circumstances that made it worth pursuing in the first place don’t exist anymore. It’s the sunk cost fallacy. It’s important to remember that regardless of if you keep chugging along, the investment you made is unrecoverable. On the flip side, the gains you made are still valuable. The only choice you have is how you move forward—and sometimes, that means changing course.

Mindset shift: No effort goes to waste, even if the resulting work becomes irrelevant. Instead of letting your ego rule your decisions, you choose the best course of action and move on.

Building enthusiasm for your business is a slow but crucial process. What techniques have you pulled from other fields to help connect with your audience?

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Life

How Stress Can Actually Improve the Quality of Your Life

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Naturally, those of us who experience less stress in our lives are more likely to succeed. So, it’s important that you learn how to reduce your daily level of stress, right? Maybe not. Recent research has shown the common wisdom about stress might be dangerously inaccurate. Psychologists tracked the health of 30,000 adults in the United States over an 8-year period. Participants were asked two important questions:

1.    “How much stress have you experienced in the last year?”
2.    “Do you believe stress is harmful to your health?”

The researchers found that people who experienced high levels of stress were 43% more likely to die in the study’s 8-year period. Doesn’t that prove stress is in fact bad for your health? Not exactly, stress was only harmful to the people who believed stress was harmful.

Those people who experienced high amounts of stress but didn’t believe it was harmful to their health were less likely to die than all other groups in the study. They were even less likely to die than the people who experienced low levels of stress (but believed stress is harmful.)

Put simply, people who believe that stress is not harmful live longer lives than those who believe it is. This study showed that it might not be stress that damages our health, but our beliefs about stress that damages our health.

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” – Elbert Hubbard

Breakthroughs In Stress Research

At first, this might be hard to believe. Kelly McGonigal elegantly explains this phenomenon in The Upside of Stress, “Stress mindsets are powerful because they affect not just how you think but also how you act. When you view stress as harmful, it is something to be avoided. Feeling stressed becomes a signal to try to escape or reduce the stress. And indeed, people who endorse a stress-is-harmful mindset are more likely to say that they cope with stress by trying to avoid it.”

People who believe stress is negative are more likely to avoid it by smoking, binge-eating, or watching too much TV. Afterwards, their physical health pays the price. Fortunately, research has shown that your beliefs about stress can be changed – and changing them has powerful benefits.

A study by Jeremy Jameson and colleagues had people endure a grueling social stress test. Participants were asked to give a 5-minute impromptu speech about their personal weaknesses to a panel of judges. To make this situation even more stressful, the judges were instructed to give negative feedback to the participant giving the speech. This study wasn’t just about sadistically putting people through social pressure, it was testing whether a mindset intervention could change how people react to stress.

Before giving the impromptu speech, participants were shown one of two videos:

  • The first video opened with the message, “Most people think that stress is negative… but research shows that stress is even more debilitating than you expect.”
  • The second video opened with, “Most people think that stress is negative… but actually research shows that it is enhancing.”

Participants who were shown the video that gave examples of how stress can be enhancing were less stressed out during the interview, felt more confident while speaking, and gave better interviews (as rated both by themselves and the judges). Even more impressively, although normally a stress response causes a person’s blood vessels to constrict, the blood vessels of participants who saw the pro-stress video remained relaxed.

“Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they’ve started.” – David Allen

The Power Of Your Stress Mindset

So, a 3-minute video was able to change the way people responded to a stressful situation, not just psychologically, but physiologically. When we think stress is something we must avoid, stress becomes a negative feedback loop. We experience stress, we think it’s a bad thing, and then our stress makes us even more stressed (and on and on).

But, when we think stress is just a natural part of life, or even a good thing, we are able to embrace it instead of being controlled by it. This not only allows us to perform better in stressful situations, it also enables us to make healthier decisions (because we won’t attempt to avoid stress with unhealthy coping behaviors).

How do you handle stress? Comment below!

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Life

One Piece Of Simple Advice That Changed My Life.

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Image Credit: Unsplash / Danilo Santos
“Stay positive no matter what happens.”

That’s one simple piece of advice that changed my life.

I learned the importance of this advice the hard way when my life was traveling along just nicely. I had a high paying job, a booming blogging career, a partner who loved me, and enough money to live and enjoy a few simple pleasures.

I got to travel overseas to exotic locations and work even allowed me to have some pretty unique experiences like sleeping on a yacht and going surfing with a crazy bunch of entrepreneurs.

I thought I had it all.

People looked at my life and thought it was spectacular.


Deep inside of me, I knew something was not quite right.

I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Something about this so-called perfect life felt wrong.

Before I knew it, I broke up with my girlfriend, lost all of my work colleagues to competitors and found myself staring into a glass half full of instant coffee.

When I hit challenges, I found myself getting pissed off. I’d say to myself “Why me?” and “Get out of my way idiot, you’re blocking the path in front of me.”

How could an internet proclaimed self-help blogger have these crazy, messed up thoughts?

What was wrong was I’d forgotten how to stay positive. I thought that I was past the point of having to deal with challenges and I’d reached a level that I could never go back from.

“Personal development and inspirational content can make you feel invincible — especially when you’re the one creating it”

Sometimes the very thing you preach can be the one thing that is your own downfall.

As I analyzed the situation, I saw that I’d forgotten how to practice positivity.


How does one practice positivity?

By deciding to. Positivity is a choice.

Positivity is like going on an adventure and forcing yourself to see at least one good thing about the journey.

One little hack I used was writing down three things each day I was grateful for. I forced myself to do it at work and locked it into my diary for 9 am every morning.

During the career challenges I mentioned earlier, the lady that sits a few desks away from me described my situation as like being on the Titanic. She called my business unit the “Sinking Ship.”

Outside forces are going to have an effect on you if you let them. I chose to see positivity in what she was saying. I wrote down notes of how this could be positive.

It took a while, but eventually, I got the answer: The Titanic she described was a forced career change into something I liked even more. I’d become comfortable and that was the issue.

At that moment, I realized that I had the power within me to always see positivity if I wanted to.


It’s not about getting rid of negative thoughts necessarily.

It takes a lot of energy to remove or block negative thoughts. Choosing positivity is a much easier process to go through and it takes less energy.

Committing to yourself that there is at least one good outcome from every situation, forces your mind into positivity. It can be done.

You’re supposed to have negative thoughts. They keep you alive. Having zero negative thoughts is impossible. What helped me was balancing my thoughts to be more of the positive variety.


Gossiping and complaining breeds the opposite outcome.

Trying to stay positive no matter what is extremely difficult when you’re in conversations with people who are egging you on to complain, or gossip about someone or something.

The temptation is huge because whether we like it or not, it feels good.

The trouble with complaining or gossiping is that it only breeds more negativity.

You’re asking your brain to dish up negative possibilities and recall negative situations. The other person’s reaction to your negativity only rewards your brain for its hard work.

You can’t focus on being positive if you deliberately hijack your brain every time with gossip talk and picking faults with your co-workers.

People stuff up; they have different beliefs to you; they have other priorities.

Gossiping and complaining doesn’t make anyone else wrong. It does make you practice negativity though and that’s not going to change your life.


Take a long hard look at yourself.

Are you being positive most of the time? When I asked myself this question, I could see clearly that I was not.

I’d fallen into bad habits and allowed outside forces to manipulate my thoughts and turn them toxic.

My life started to change when I acknowledged what was going on and took ownership for it.

“It’s damn hard to admit as a self-help blogger that you’re being extremely negative and ruining your own success. It’s somewhat counter-intuitive. Either way, this reality was my truth and I owned it!”

Ignoring the problem is not going to make it magically disappear.

So, what did I do?

  • Stayed clear of the people who were fuelling my negativity
  • Focused on the positivity that already existed in my life like blogging, love and family
  • Chose a new career path that was closer to what I loved
  • Spent more time with other bloggers to learn how they dealt with negativity
  • Took accountability and stopped focusing on outside interference
  • Doubled down on my blogging so I could spread more positivity
  • Spent lots of time watching videos on a Facebook page called Human Kindness

Above all else, one thing that helped was being more kind.

When you’re kind to everyone you encounter, positivity comes at you a hundred miles an hour.

People will make you feel positive when you are kind towards them. You don’t have to hand out millions of dollars in donations or build an orphanage either.

Simple acts of kindness like holding the door open, complimenting someone, or letting a driver into your lane is all it takes.


Tragedy will strike everyone.

That’s not something to be sad about it’s just a fact of life. When you can go through any event and always find a way to be positive, you’re able to recover much quicker. This allows you to support others during these tough times.


Positivity can make you see another way.

By seeing positivity, you’ll discover other options that those around you can’t see.

“Positivity is closely linked to creativity”

Seeing hidden opportunities doesn’t happen when you’re pissed off and want to kill your neighbor because of their dog that always barks when you’re sleeping.

Positivity sparks possibility and that’s where your next opportunity will come from.


Final thought.

Positivity really is the simple advice that will change your life. We can all use more of it and it’s missing in so many souls around the world. Find another way to move forward and don’t be afraid to take a step back once in a while.

Choose positivity in every situation and your life will change. You’ll see a brighter future, and better yet, you’ll create that future for yourself.

You deserve to be fulfilled and do what you love. Let positivity get you there faster.

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

7 Powerful and Inspiring Words of Encouragement to Help Lift You Up

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Image Credit: Twenty20.com

When you’re going through tough times, all you need is sympathy. You just need someone to tell you how strong you are and how you can cope with the situation. Essentially, you’re waiting for a soothing voice that can calm your inner storm and genuinely help with your troubles. (more…)

I am Eliana Jags, Co-Founder & Author at beinginsightful.com. I'm passionate about writing motivational and inspirational articles. Before I became a full-time blogger, I was a Software Engineer but left the job to fulfill my dream of becoming a writer and thus I've committed myself completely to my passion of writing. You can connect with me on my Facebook page here.

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13 Comments

13 Comments

  1. Shaleza Aise

    Aug 28, 2016 at 5:48 pm

    Hey, Tim.
    Thanks for writing such a great article. I’ve had dark periods in the past and I’ve learnt to keep happy and positive, due to my long term interest in personal development.
    However, we are all human and even small or temporary setback can leave you feeling jaded. I was having a ‘sad day’ and I started to feel better, when I came across your article and it catapulted me right back to my usual grateful self.
    I use many of the strategies you talked about, but I think I need to write more on my blog. I used to in the past, but now I find it harder to sit and write, for fear the flood gates will open. Maybe that would not be a bad thing.
    I find meditation to be an amazing help. It quietens the mind and gives me much peace.
    Thank you so much for sharing and I hope you pass through your difficult time/ circumstances speedily. We are all connected in this great universe of ours and I send you my best wishes.

    Shaleza

  2. The Broke Dad

    Aug 13, 2016 at 12:39 pm

    Well said. I have been in those dark places before and though I have never done all of the steps you have listed I have used several of them. Writing is a big thing for me. When I was down, in that dark place, and feeling like things would never improve I started to write. It was difficult, I had to force myself to do it, but once I started I could not stop my thoughts from flooding out of me and onto the screen in front of me. It was an amazing type of therapy and it cost me nothing. Now reading your post I wish I would have known what an e-book was so I could have saved all of those thoughts and put it into a book to help others.
    Thanks again for a great post. Enjoyed it

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 14, 2016 at 11:09 pm

      Broke Dad I love your blog and thanks for sharing your insight! Writing can help all of us get our thoughts out of our head and onto paper. When we see our thoughts in the physical form we start to see them differently and all of a sudden the BS we are telling ourselves becomes clear.

  3. Adebayo

    Aug 11, 2016 at 7:47 pm

    I am always inspired around here 2b sincere Tim keep it up.
    Raising capital is my issue but with time it will b past.
    Keep it up.

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 12, 2016 at 10:26 am

      Adebayo thanks for spreading the love. Raising capital is a tough one. What’s most important is that you have a team behind you that investors will want to back. Have confidence and know that you may have to try over one hundred options for finance before you find the right one.

  4. Charlene Rhinehart

    Aug 11, 2016 at 9:17 am

    Another great article! Thanks for sharing, Tim! I needed an extra dose of motivation in order to recover from a few no responses that I received today so I started to peruse this site for inspiration. This was the first article I saw and it immediately drew me in. Just what I needed to give me an energy boost! Thanks Tim!

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 11, 2016 at 7:53 pm

      Thanks Charlene. We all need a bit og motivation to get us going again. I’ve also received a few no responses recently from certain people I’ve reached out to. My advice is to just keep trying to reach them. I tried for one year to get to a celebrity entrepreneur recently and finally got a hold of him. It takes real patience.

  5. Chris Targett

    Aug 11, 2016 at 5:47 am

    Everyone can use more positivity in their lives, it’s infectious. I think it’s great that you spoke to someone successful and found out that they’ve had struggles in their life, we look at successful people and think they have always been successful, but with digging deeper we find that they are human after all.

    That is going to be my task, find someone who has been successful, sit down with them and see what they have done in their life to get where they are now.

    Thanks for the article Tim

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 11, 2016 at 6:01 am

      Chris thanks for your comments and for sharing your opinion. Successful people are often not who people think they are. I’ve learned this many times over the years.

  6. Ram Vijay

    Aug 11, 2016 at 5:45 am

    Tim, You are doing wonderful work by creating and sharing most needed articles . I am reading all of your articles and trying to follow it. Keep up the good work man!!!

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 11, 2016 at 5:58 am

      Wow thanks Ram for the very kind words and I’m glad you are reading all the articles!

  7. Toño

    Aug 11, 2016 at 2:20 am

    I wanted to get back to this article when I’ll return home from work, but could not help and read it now. During my morning meditation, I contemplated on the reply, barely concentrating on the practice haha.

    You always seem to find such a great pictures for your writing, Tim. They are eye-catching and fit so well to what you say.

    I really enjoyed the article, basically you don’t need any coffe to make your morning as this is what will feel you awake and aware! Meditate like crazy? Hah, I loved it! Will certainly do, my friend.

    I also would like to add daily motivation to this list as it becomes highly important ingredient in my life right now. After so many hours of practicing it I feel like something changing inside of me and to keep this change you should motivate yourself every single day. I realized quite a long time ago that process of going to sleep and them waking up is like a mini-born process and that you start your life every time you wake up. It may sound a bit crazy, but in my early ages, I was afraid to go to bed because I was feeling so good and did not want to lose my good mood and attitude. It is extremely vital to go to bed motivated to make sure your mind is in the right state, and when you wake up, start immediately to motivate yourself again. Work on yourself and never stop. You may require doing so few times a day, because we all know, motivation won’t last much long. At first, it will feel unnatural, heavy routine and the longer you stayed hopeless or depressed the harder to get started, but you will thank yourself later.

    Again, practice it daily and do not let it slip. The longer you procrastinate the worse you may feel. Eventually, you WILL feel better as nothing lasts forever, but as you are in control of your life and do not want circumstances control your mind, you should get back to motivation few times per day, or at the very least on your mornings and evenings. I usually do few different activities so my brain does not get bored. You can start your day with meditation, reading a good article on a2s, watching motivational video on youtube, write a letter of appreciation to Tim Denning :D, workout, jogging, listen to uplifting music or simple walk your beloved dog who is your best friend.

    I started today with meditation, this article, short video of one man doing his journey in the beautiful Hawaii, and about to listen to Preston Smiles’ audiobook and then some good vibe music. I know my day is gonna be awesome because I made my intention work and brought them to life. I decided to be aware and be happy.

    Loss of hope, depression or happiness, those are all state of your conditioned mind as everything on this Earth is neutral and you color your experience whatever you want. So choose wisely what you can shape your mind in.

    I meditated recently on why even though we work so hard to be happy, many of us tend to get back to the state of depression or simply feel not good so very often, and I realized it because of training. We train ourselves so very hard, with the passion and desire to feel bad that when we finally decide to feel good we struggle. Even when we succeed eventually, our brain will try to lure you into the grim state because it is so natural for it to indulge in our heavy thoughts. You trained it for years and of course, it will come back to familiar grounds. So now you can train to feel good, and when eventual downtime will hit you, it’s just the habit you can overcome.

    Thank you so much again Tim for getting me ready for the day, for the journey and amazing feelings, appreciate it highly! Much love to you, keep yourself healthy and have a wonderful day!

    Peace!

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 11, 2016 at 5:54 am

      Toño thanks for introducing me to the idea of a mini born again after sleeping. It’s a very interesting idea that I have thought of many times before and wondered to myself “what if this really was the case.”

      So glad the meditation is working out for you and the daily motivation suggestion is a good one. I also loved your quote that says we color our own world. I loved that!

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Life

How to Prevent Social Media From Stunting Your Personal Growth

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Over the years, social media has taken over our lives. Our society has become so addicted to social media to where we’re not only missing out on enjoying some of life’s most precious moments, but we’re also losing valuable interpersonal skills. The introverts have become more introverted, and the extroverts are becoming more recluse.

Social media has made “Netflix & Chill” the ideal date night, replacing the traditional “dinner and a movie” where you’re getting to know each other amongst others. If people were to go out, they have a constant need to document their every move on social media instead of being truly present and enjoying themselves. What’s also worse is that I see this social media dynamic being passed on to the younger generation. More and more kids are becoming hooked on social media, causing them to place their own personal value in the hands of strangers through a “like”.

Luckily, we don’t have to allow social media to ruin our lives. Despite how addicting social media is, we have complete control on how it’s used. Here’s how I prevent social media from stunting my own personal growth.

1. Limit Your Time On Social Media

Scrolling your timeline is like diving into a black hole. Once you start scrolling on Instagram, Facebook, or even Twitter, it’s hard to stop. Even for me, I struggle putting my phone down, thus getting sucked into the “social media matrix”.

What I found to be extremely helpful is limiting my time on social media. I literally allow myself a certain amount of minutes of “scroll time” before I put my phone away to focus on something else. Because my business revolves around social media, I check my phone approximately 4 times a day, for 15 minutes at a time. During those short periods, I’m responding to any comments or DMs, and engaging with other people’s posts to keep my own personal engagement high on my profile.

“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

2. Find New Hobbies

There was a period of time where I was very conscious of when and why I randomly start scrolling social media. What I discovered was that I was more prone to fall into the black hole of social media when I was bored.

I’m a part of the last generation to have experienced life without the internet and social media. I recall days being spent reading, wrestling with my dad, walking or riding bikes at the local park, playing sports outside with the neighborhood kids, or building small LEGO communities (remember those?). There was never a dull moment because our days were filled with hobbies.

If you let the demands of being an adult consume you, don’t be afraid to re-introduce your old hobbies back into your life.

3. Unplug With Family & Friends

There are more and more people who are spending time on social media in the company of their family and friends. Family dinners and time spent with your friends are now being interrupted by social media. As I mentioned earlier, this is typically a sign of boredom that comes across as rude to those in your presence. By not being in the moment, you could be missing out on valuable information and vital conversations that could strengthen your personal growth and interpersonal skills.

One thing I found to be helpful when in the presence of your friends and family is to designate one spot where everyone can dump their phones so that everyone is now forced to be in the moment and enjoy the company of those around them. At family dinner, I make everyone leave their phones in their room, and when my friends get together, I make them turn their phones off and place them in a small bag that I bring. It’s imperative that we unplug. You’ll find that the time spent was much more enjoyable when you’re focused on being mentally present.

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” – Oscar Wilde

4. Don’t Go To Bed With Your Phone

We’re all guilty of going to bed and falling asleep with our phones in our hand. There were times where I literally fell asleep looking at my phone in the air, and it dropped and popped me in the face. That was a “wake-up call”, literally, that I needed to change my ways. Not to mention, I also noticed that I was experiencing weird dreams and sometimes nightmares because of what I was consuming before I went to sleep. All of which is not good for your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.

Rather than charge my phone overnight using a power outlet close to the bed, I now charge my phone overnight on the other side of the room. The first few days of doing this was rough. I was so used to falling asleep scrolling social media that it was hard to fall asleep without it. Now, I lie down and meditate until I fall asleep. After a week of light meditation prior to sleep, I noticed that I woke up feeling energized and well rested. My mind wasn’t mentally fatigued like before, and my days were much more productive. As a result, I highly recommend everyone to go to bed without their phone by their side.

Conclusion

Moderation is key when it comes to social media consumption. Social media is not bad however, like anything, too much of something can have a reverse effect. Social media is a very valuable tool, one that allowed me to connect with people of all walks of life across the world and earn a living. We don’t have to let social media take over and ruin our lives. What we can do is find balance.

How do you stay balanced? Comment below!

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Life

5 Mindset Shifts You Can Steal From the Movies to Have Blockbuster Success

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If only our clients had the passion of Potterheads. Remember the midnight premiers? Potterheads lined up for hours, dressed in full costume, wands a-blazin’. When the doors finally opened, they couldn’t throw their money at the ticket booth fast enough. How do you create that kind of enthusiasm for your own business?

I’m going to share five mindset shifts straight out of the movie business that you can use to fuel lifelong fanatics. Some of it is going to be tough love, but hey, nobody said getting your own fan club was easy.

1. Stay humble, stay hungry

Working actors audition an average of 67 times before booking a gig. 67 times! And that’s working actors—people who earn their entire livelihood from acting. Most entrepreneurs will hear this stat and say, “I get it. I need to accept failure 66 times.” But this isn’t about that. It’s about showing up 67.

Accepting failure is passive. You can accept failure from your couch. Showing up and trying, however, is active. When you show up, you commit to taking a step forward. And 66 times, you’ll get knocked down. It’s humbling. But on attempt 67, that step forward might finally stick.

Mindset shift: You have an insatiable appetite for success. You know that every failure is one failure down and that, soon, you’ll knock it out of the park.

“Don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning.” – Robert Kiyosaki

2. Treat your audience as kings

The box office doesn’t care what the director’s intentions were, how cool the writer is, or if the lead actor was featured in some fancy magazine, it cares about people in seats. And when thematic costumes clothe them (ala Potterheads), there are more of them.

In movies and entrepreneurship, your most critical metrics depend on your audience’s choices. So, the sooner you start treating your audience as kings and making everything about them, the sooner your metrics will start climbing.

How does the Harry Potter franchise treat Potterheads as kings? Movie premiers are 100% about the fans. They get to feel cool in costume, show off to friends, be among the first, hang out with other super-fans, and more. No matter what, putting your audience’s desire ahead of your own will always pay off in the long run.

Mindset shifts: Other entrepreneurs pursue immediate recognition. But you know that the more special you make your audience feel, the more success you’ll have down the road.

3. Depict compelling transformations

Humans have a fundamental desire for transformation. We love watching movies about redemption, growing up, settling down, overcoming adversity, underdogs, and more. Harry Potter is full of that stuff. Heck, the series even allowed a generation of readers to transform into adults alongside Harry.

This is why Before and After pictures are so incredibly persuasive. They help us to visualize the change we crave. And every single product or service on the market offers some form of transformation. All you have to do is call it out.  

Mindset shift: Bad entrepreneurs sell products. Good entrepreneurs sell solutions. Entrepreneurs who create rabid fans sell transformation.

4. Trust the fundamentals

When I took my first screenwriting class, the number of hyper-specific rules shocked me. Did you know that about 20 minutes into every movie, something dramatic changes in the protagonist’s life and propels them into a new world?

Don’t believe me? Time it. Unsurprisingly, one kid in my class completely ignored the rules. Even more unsurprisingly, his scripts sucked. When my professor called him out, the kid blubbered, “But Tarantino—” To which my professor replied, “Are you Tarantino?” No. No, he was not Tarantino.

The difference between you, me, that kid, and Tarantino is that Tarantino paid his dues. It’s extremely rare to find someone who became successful by completely ignoring the conventions of their craft. And the same is true for entrepreneurship.

Mindset shift: Nobody is “above” learning the fundamentals. You know that by appreciating the current structures and systems, you will be better poised to disrupt them in the future.

“If you really look closely, most overnight successes took a long time.” – Steve Jobs

5. Kill your darlings

Once upon a time, an animation studio was four years into creating a film about the ocean. They had sunk thousands of hours, hundreds of thousands of dollars, and a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into the project. Then, the unthinkable happened… Finding Nemo. You know what the studio did with their ocean movie? They scrapped it.

As entrepreneurs, once we invest a lot of time and energy into something, we’re afraid to abandon it—even if the circumstances that made it worth pursuing in the first place don’t exist anymore. It’s the sunk cost fallacy. It’s important to remember that regardless of if you keep chugging along, the investment you made is unrecoverable. On the flip side, the gains you made are still valuable. The only choice you have is how you move forward—and sometimes, that means changing course.

Mindset shift: No effort goes to waste, even if the resulting work becomes irrelevant. Instead of letting your ego rule your decisions, you choose the best course of action and move on.

Building enthusiasm for your business is a slow but crucial process. What techniques have you pulled from other fields to help connect with your audience?

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Life

How Stress Can Actually Improve the Quality of Your Life

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Naturally, those of us who experience less stress in our lives are more likely to succeed. So, it’s important that you learn how to reduce your daily level of stress, right? Maybe not. Recent research has shown the common wisdom about stress might be dangerously inaccurate. Psychologists tracked the health of 30,000 adults in the United States over an 8-year period. Participants were asked two important questions:

1.    “How much stress have you experienced in the last year?”
2.    “Do you believe stress is harmful to your health?”

The researchers found that people who experienced high levels of stress were 43% more likely to die in the study’s 8-year period. Doesn’t that prove stress is in fact bad for your health? Not exactly, stress was only harmful to the people who believed stress was harmful.

Those people who experienced high amounts of stress but didn’t believe it was harmful to their health were less likely to die than all other groups in the study. They were even less likely to die than the people who experienced low levels of stress (but believed stress is harmful.)

Put simply, people who believe that stress is not harmful live longer lives than those who believe it is. This study showed that it might not be stress that damages our health, but our beliefs about stress that damages our health.

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” – Elbert Hubbard

Breakthroughs In Stress Research

At first, this might be hard to believe. Kelly McGonigal elegantly explains this phenomenon in The Upside of Stress, “Stress mindsets are powerful because they affect not just how you think but also how you act. When you view stress as harmful, it is something to be avoided. Feeling stressed becomes a signal to try to escape or reduce the stress. And indeed, people who endorse a stress-is-harmful mindset are more likely to say that they cope with stress by trying to avoid it.”

People who believe stress is negative are more likely to avoid it by smoking, binge-eating, or watching too much TV. Afterwards, their physical health pays the price. Fortunately, research has shown that your beliefs about stress can be changed – and changing them has powerful benefits.

A study by Jeremy Jameson and colleagues had people endure a grueling social stress test. Participants were asked to give a 5-minute impromptu speech about their personal weaknesses to a panel of judges. To make this situation even more stressful, the judges were instructed to give negative feedback to the participant giving the speech. This study wasn’t just about sadistically putting people through social pressure, it was testing whether a mindset intervention could change how people react to stress.

Before giving the impromptu speech, participants were shown one of two videos:

  • The first video opened with the message, “Most people think that stress is negative… but research shows that stress is even more debilitating than you expect.”
  • The second video opened with, “Most people think that stress is negative… but actually research shows that it is enhancing.”

Participants who were shown the video that gave examples of how stress can be enhancing were less stressed out during the interview, felt more confident while speaking, and gave better interviews (as rated both by themselves and the judges). Even more impressively, although normally a stress response causes a person’s blood vessels to constrict, the blood vessels of participants who saw the pro-stress video remained relaxed.

“Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they’ve started.” – David Allen

The Power Of Your Stress Mindset

So, a 3-minute video was able to change the way people responded to a stressful situation, not just psychologically, but physiologically. When we think stress is something we must avoid, stress becomes a negative feedback loop. We experience stress, we think it’s a bad thing, and then our stress makes us even more stressed (and on and on).

But, when we think stress is just a natural part of life, or even a good thing, we are able to embrace it instead of being controlled by it. This not only allows us to perform better in stressful situations, it also enables us to make healthier decisions (because we won’t attempt to avoid stress with unhealthy coping behaviors).

How do you handle stress? Comment below!

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Life

One Piece Of Simple Advice That Changed My Life.

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“Stay positive no matter what happens.”

That’s one simple piece of advice that changed my life.

I learned the importance of this advice the hard way when my life was traveling along just nicely. I had a high paying job, a booming blogging career, a partner who loved me, and enough money to live and enjoy a few simple pleasures.

I got to travel overseas to exotic locations and work even allowed me to have some pretty unique experiences like sleeping on a yacht and going surfing with a crazy bunch of entrepreneurs.

I thought I had it all.

People looked at my life and thought it was spectacular.


Deep inside of me, I knew something was not quite right.

I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Something about this so-called perfect life felt wrong.

Before I knew it, I broke up with my girlfriend, lost all of my work colleagues to competitors and found myself staring into a glass half full of instant coffee.

When I hit challenges, I found myself getting pissed off. I’d say to myself “Why me?” and “Get out of my way idiot, you’re blocking the path in front of me.”

How could an internet proclaimed self-help blogger have these crazy, messed up thoughts?

What was wrong was I’d forgotten how to stay positive. I thought that I was past the point of having to deal with challenges and I’d reached a level that I could never go back from.

“Personal development and inspirational content can make you feel invincible — especially when you’re the one creating it”

Sometimes the very thing you preach can be the one thing that is your own downfall.

As I analyzed the situation, I saw that I’d forgotten how to practice positivity.


How does one practice positivity?

By deciding to. Positivity is a choice.

Positivity is like going on an adventure and forcing yourself to see at least one good thing about the journey.

One little hack I used was writing down three things each day I was grateful for. I forced myself to do it at work and locked it into my diary for 9 am every morning.

During the career challenges I mentioned earlier, the lady that sits a few desks away from me described my situation as like being on the Titanic. She called my business unit the “Sinking Ship.”

Outside forces are going to have an effect on you if you let them. I chose to see positivity in what she was saying. I wrote down notes of how this could be positive.

It took a while, but eventually, I got the answer: The Titanic she described was a forced career change into something I liked even more. I’d become comfortable and that was the issue.

At that moment, I realized that I had the power within me to always see positivity if I wanted to.


It’s not about getting rid of negative thoughts necessarily.

It takes a lot of energy to remove or block negative thoughts. Choosing positivity is a much easier process to go through and it takes less energy.

Committing to yourself that there is at least one good outcome from every situation, forces your mind into positivity. It can be done.

You’re supposed to have negative thoughts. They keep you alive. Having zero negative thoughts is impossible. What helped me was balancing my thoughts to be more of the positive variety.


Gossiping and complaining breeds the opposite outcome.

Trying to stay positive no matter what is extremely difficult when you’re in conversations with people who are egging you on to complain, or gossip about someone or something.

The temptation is huge because whether we like it or not, it feels good.

The trouble with complaining or gossiping is that it only breeds more negativity.

You’re asking your brain to dish up negative possibilities and recall negative situations. The other person’s reaction to your negativity only rewards your brain for its hard work.

You can’t focus on being positive if you deliberately hijack your brain every time with gossip talk and picking faults with your co-workers.

People stuff up; they have different beliefs to you; they have other priorities.

Gossiping and complaining doesn’t make anyone else wrong. It does make you practice negativity though and that’s not going to change your life.


Take a long hard look at yourself.

Are you being positive most of the time? When I asked myself this question, I could see clearly that I was not.

I’d fallen into bad habits and allowed outside forces to manipulate my thoughts and turn them toxic.

My life started to change when I acknowledged what was going on and took ownership for it.

“It’s damn hard to admit as a self-help blogger that you’re being extremely negative and ruining your own success. It’s somewhat counter-intuitive. Either way, this reality was my truth and I owned it!”

Ignoring the problem is not going to make it magically disappear.

So, what did I do?

  • Stayed clear of the people who were fuelling my negativity
  • Focused on the positivity that already existed in my life like blogging, love and family
  • Chose a new career path that was closer to what I loved
  • Spent more time with other bloggers to learn how they dealt with negativity
  • Took accountability and stopped focusing on outside interference
  • Doubled down on my blogging so I could spread more positivity
  • Spent lots of time watching videos on a Facebook page called Human Kindness

Above all else, one thing that helped was being more kind.

When you’re kind to everyone you encounter, positivity comes at you a hundred miles an hour.

People will make you feel positive when you are kind towards them. You don’t have to hand out millions of dollars in donations or build an orphanage either.

Simple acts of kindness like holding the door open, complimenting someone, or letting a driver into your lane is all it takes.


Tragedy will strike everyone.

That’s not something to be sad about it’s just a fact of life. When you can go through any event and always find a way to be positive, you’re able to recover much quicker. This allows you to support others during these tough times.


Positivity can make you see another way.

By seeing positivity, you’ll discover other options that those around you can’t see.

“Positivity is closely linked to creativity”

Seeing hidden opportunities doesn’t happen when you’re pissed off and want to kill your neighbor because of their dog that always barks when you’re sleeping.

Positivity sparks possibility and that’s where your next opportunity will come from.


Final thought.

Positivity really is the simple advice that will change your life. We can all use more of it and it’s missing in so many souls around the world. Find another way to move forward and don’t be afraid to take a step back once in a while.

Choose positivity in every situation and your life will change. You’ll see a brighter future, and better yet, you’ll create that future for yourself.

You deserve to be fulfilled and do what you love. Let positivity get you there faster.

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If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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