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How To Create Positivity In Your Life When All Hope Seems Lost

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Creating Positivity When All Hope Seems Lost

Dealing with dark times can be hard. Sometimes there is no simple way out, and it can at times seem like all hope is lost. There is always a solution to every problem, and it’s entirely possible to get out of a hopeless situation.

I am going through a tough time at the moment after a breakup and a few other challenges have arisen all at the same time. I feel lucky that I have spent a substantial amount of time on personal growth over the last few years, so my tool belt to deal with these issues is fully packed.

With that said, it doesn’t always make it any easier. Whether you experience pain or not is entirely up to you. Pain is a decision, and I personally choose not to go down that road. It’s not easy to avoid though because it can often be our minds default position if we don’t practice self-control.

Life is an amazing gift and when we sit back and remember that, the dark cloud start to clear even if it’s only for a moment.

Below are 7 ways to create positivity in your life when it feels like all hope seems lost and I am successfully using all of these strategies as I write this blog post:

 

1. Send out gratitude SMS’s

When times are tough, and your chips are down, a creative way to bring positivity in your life is to send out gratitude SMS’s to everyone that you are close with. Personalise each message and tell your friends why you appreciate them in your life. Don’t make it war and peace but truly express what they mean to you.Gratitude SMS

If done correctly, you should get a flood of SMS’s back with words of encouragement. I did this recently, and it really helped me see the positivity in my life. It showed me that people do care just as much as I care about them.

Some of the SMS’s can even spark up conversations with people you haven’t spoken to in a while. You’ll quickly realise that you are more successful and more cared for than you think.

 

2. Foster the belief

Belief is one of the cornerstones of our life. What we believe shapes who we are. To create positivity during a dark period of your life, you have to believe that the season will pass and that you are destined for greater things.

For the last few weeks, I have focused on the belief that my current circumstances will change because I am cultivating the proper beliefs that I can be something special no matter what anyone else may think about me.

All of this advice, all of the entrepreneur friends I have, all of the healthy eating I’ve committed to, is meant to help me be something bigger. It will become apparent as long as I’m patient and believe that a higher purpose is the only way forward.

Concentrate on the present and the daily habits that will help get you back on track. Creating positive thoughts and living in a positive way can only equal one thing: positive results.

“Believe in yourself no matter what and don’t stay in the past”

 

3. Meditate like crazy

When all hope seems lost your mind becomes even busier than usual. Your head fills with destructive thoughts that have the energy and power to destroy everything you have worked for. Again, exercising self-control, through meditating like crazy is a great way to reign in those stray thoughts.

131284661 (1)Start with five minutes which is a goal you can definitely achieve. Then, try doing this multiple times through the day. As the momentum starts to build, crank up the sessions to 15-20 minutes at a time. Don’t let anything stop you and enjoy the calm feeling that you will get from your sessions.

Meditation is the number one way to calm your mind so that it can be a breeding ground for new, positive thoughts.

 

4. Write an Ebook

Using a mindset of abundance you can take a difficult situation and use it to create value for other people. Nothing but positive things can happen to you when you give for no reason at all. An Ebook of advice is the Small Ebook Cover - How To Become A Game Changing Influencer Online And Inspire Millionsantidote to your pain.

I have just completed a new Ebook called “How To Become A Game Changing Influencer Online And Inspire Millions.” This is not a shameless plug but a free Ebook I am giving to all of the readers of Addicted2Success to say thank you for all the support.

Again, nothing but positivity can come from giving value to others and trying to do good in the world through a positive message. Focus on what you can do for others and what value you bring to the table. Your mind will have no choice other than to cultivate positive thoughts.

 

5. Visit a homeless shelter

Similar to the previous point, an excellent way to get through a tough time is to remove yourself from the equation and go and visit a homeless shelter. In a homeless shelter, your dreams and goals can be actualised without you even realising it.

Going beyond yourself and helping those who are in a much tougher situation than you creates positivity. It will show you that even when you think your story is bad and that no one could be as unlucky as you, you’re wrong.

Little old you has the power to change someone’s entire day through the act of handing out a meal to someone that can’t afford their own. Your presence even has the power to change that homeless person’s day to where they make the decision to change their circumstances forever.

Now isn’t that a great way to forget about your troubles and cultivate positivity in the world?

 

6. Read “The Pursuit Of Happyness”

This book is the first one you should read if you are going through a culmination of negative events in your life. The story of Chris Gardner growing up in a violent home and then raising a child while being homeless will change your perspective.

Stories of struggle and then ultimately triumph will build your confidence and show you that all it takes is a little positivity to get up off the ground, dust yourself off, and have another go at your dream. No one is going to judge you because they have their own challenges to worry about.

 

7. Call those who have the dream life

We all have people around us that have the life we dream of. When all hope seems lost, these people are the one’s you should call. Don’t scare them off with negative vibes, rather, have a conversation with them about what they did to be successful.

Find out the strategies and most importantly, find out what they thought when they had to overcome challenges. Through these people, you can learn so much about how to deal with your own situation.

Johnny Depp Smoking A CigaretteI did this very exercise and one of the calls I had revealed something that I never knew. The person who I thought had an awesome life actually came from a very dark place. They admitted to sleeping with prostitutes, double dropping ecstasy pills, and smoking crack cocaine.

This person went from what seemed like the habits of a suicidal person, to being an inspirational entrepreneur and living a dream lifestyle. You have to get good at looking beyond the colorful Instagram photos of all the people that will sell you the false idea that they’re life is perfect and go behind the scenes.

Being good at asking questions will give you the only tool you need to start digging and understanding more about the people you admire. Through other people’s dreams, you get to see a glimpse of your own. Your dream is only possible when you foster positivity in your life.

Go beyond your story and use it to bring happiness to everyone around you. Get on this thing we call the Internet and start sharing. Inspire the world through what you do and never spend a moment bringing people down. As you build up other people, you will build up yourself.

“Positive results come from positive actions. Get off the couch, turn off Game Of Thrones, and go do something that will create positivity. Like attracts like. Positive thoughts attract positive results” – Tim Denning

How have you created positivity in your own life? Let me know on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook.

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared hundreds of thousands of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around success, personal development, motivation, and entrepreneurship. During the day Tim works with the most iconic tech companies in the world, as an adviser, to assist them in expanding into Australia. By night, Tim coaches his students on the principles of personal development and the fundamentals of entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net or through his Facebook.

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13 Comments

13 Comments

  1. Shaleza Aise

    Aug 28, 2016 at 5:48 pm

    Hey, Tim.
    Thanks for writing such a great article. I’ve had dark periods in the past and I’ve learnt to keep happy and positive, due to my long term interest in personal development.
    However, we are all human and even small or temporary setback can leave you feeling jaded. I was having a ‘sad day’ and I started to feel better, when I came across your article and it catapulted me right back to my usual grateful self.
    I use many of the strategies you talked about, but I think I need to write more on my blog. I used to in the past, but now I find it harder to sit and write, for fear the flood gates will open. Maybe that would not be a bad thing.
    I find meditation to be an amazing help. It quietens the mind and gives me much peace.
    Thank you so much for sharing and I hope you pass through your difficult time/ circumstances speedily. We are all connected in this great universe of ours and I send you my best wishes.

    Shaleza

  2. The Broke Dad

    Aug 13, 2016 at 12:39 pm

    Well said. I have been in those dark places before and though I have never done all of the steps you have listed I have used several of them. Writing is a big thing for me. When I was down, in that dark place, and feeling like things would never improve I started to write. It was difficult, I had to force myself to do it, but once I started I could not stop my thoughts from flooding out of me and onto the screen in front of me. It was an amazing type of therapy and it cost me nothing. Now reading your post I wish I would have known what an e-book was so I could have saved all of those thoughts and put it into a book to help others.
    Thanks again for a great post. Enjoyed it

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 14, 2016 at 11:09 pm

      Broke Dad I love your blog and thanks for sharing your insight! Writing can help all of us get our thoughts out of our head and onto paper. When we see our thoughts in the physical form we start to see them differently and all of a sudden the BS we are telling ourselves becomes clear.

  3. Adebayo

    Aug 11, 2016 at 7:47 pm

    I am always inspired around here 2b sincere Tim keep it up.
    Raising capital is my issue but with time it will b past.
    Keep it up.

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 12, 2016 at 10:26 am

      Adebayo thanks for spreading the love. Raising capital is a tough one. What’s most important is that you have a team behind you that investors will want to back. Have confidence and know that you may have to try over one hundred options for finance before you find the right one.

  4. Charlene Rhinehart

    Aug 11, 2016 at 9:17 am

    Another great article! Thanks for sharing, Tim! I needed an extra dose of motivation in order to recover from a few no responses that I received today so I started to peruse this site for inspiration. This was the first article I saw and it immediately drew me in. Just what I needed to give me an energy boost! Thanks Tim!

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 11, 2016 at 7:53 pm

      Thanks Charlene. We all need a bit og motivation to get us going again. I’ve also received a few no responses recently from certain people I’ve reached out to. My advice is to just keep trying to reach them. I tried for one year to get to a celebrity entrepreneur recently and finally got a hold of him. It takes real patience.

  5. Chris Targett

    Aug 11, 2016 at 5:47 am

    Everyone can use more positivity in their lives, it’s infectious. I think it’s great that you spoke to someone successful and found out that they’ve had struggles in their life, we look at successful people and think they have always been successful, but with digging deeper we find that they are human after all.

    That is going to be my task, find someone who has been successful, sit down with them and see what they have done in their life to get where they are now.

    Thanks for the article Tim

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 11, 2016 at 6:01 am

      Chris thanks for your comments and for sharing your opinion. Successful people are often not who people think they are. I’ve learned this many times over the years.

  6. Ram Vijay

    Aug 11, 2016 at 5:45 am

    Tim, You are doing wonderful work by creating and sharing most needed articles . I am reading all of your articles and trying to follow it. Keep up the good work man!!!

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 11, 2016 at 5:58 am

      Wow thanks Ram for the very kind words and I’m glad you are reading all the articles!

  7. Toño

    Aug 11, 2016 at 2:20 am

    I wanted to get back to this article when I’ll return home from work, but could not help and read it now. During my morning meditation, I contemplated on the reply, barely concentrating on the practice haha.

    You always seem to find such a great pictures for your writing, Tim. They are eye-catching and fit so well to what you say.

    I really enjoyed the article, basically you don’t need any coffe to make your morning as this is what will feel you awake and aware! Meditate like crazy? Hah, I loved it! Will certainly do, my friend.

    I also would like to add daily motivation to this list as it becomes highly important ingredient in my life right now. After so many hours of practicing it I feel like something changing inside of me and to keep this change you should motivate yourself every single day. I realized quite a long time ago that process of going to sleep and them waking up is like a mini-born process and that you start your life every time you wake up. It may sound a bit crazy, but in my early ages, I was afraid to go to bed because I was feeling so good and did not want to lose my good mood and attitude. It is extremely vital to go to bed motivated to make sure your mind is in the right state, and when you wake up, start immediately to motivate yourself again. Work on yourself and never stop. You may require doing so few times a day, because we all know, motivation won’t last much long. At first, it will feel unnatural, heavy routine and the longer you stayed hopeless or depressed the harder to get started, but you will thank yourself later.

    Again, practice it daily and do not let it slip. The longer you procrastinate the worse you may feel. Eventually, you WILL feel better as nothing lasts forever, but as you are in control of your life and do not want circumstances control your mind, you should get back to motivation few times per day, or at the very least on your mornings and evenings. I usually do few different activities so my brain does not get bored. You can start your day with meditation, reading a good article on a2s, watching motivational video on youtube, write a letter of appreciation to Tim Denning :D, workout, jogging, listen to uplifting music or simple walk your beloved dog who is your best friend.

    I started today with meditation, this article, short video of one man doing his journey in the beautiful Hawaii, and about to listen to Preston Smiles’ audiobook and then some good vibe music. I know my day is gonna be awesome because I made my intention work and brought them to life. I decided to be aware and be happy.

    Loss of hope, depression or happiness, those are all state of your conditioned mind as everything on this Earth is neutral and you color your experience whatever you want. So choose wisely what you can shape your mind in.

    I meditated recently on why even though we work so hard to be happy, many of us tend to get back to the state of depression or simply feel not good so very often, and I realized it because of training. We train ourselves so very hard, with the passion and desire to feel bad that when we finally decide to feel good we struggle. Even when we succeed eventually, our brain will try to lure you into the grim state because it is so natural for it to indulge in our heavy thoughts. You trained it for years and of course, it will come back to familiar grounds. So now you can train to feel good, and when eventual downtime will hit you, it’s just the habit you can overcome.

    Thank you so much again Tim for getting me ready for the day, for the journey and amazing feelings, appreciate it highly! Much love to you, keep yourself healthy and have a wonderful day!

    Peace!

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 11, 2016 at 5:54 am

      Toño thanks for introducing me to the idea of a mini born again after sleeping. It’s a very interesting idea that I have thought of many times before and wondered to myself “what if this really was the case.”

      So glad the meditation is working out for you and the daily motivation suggestion is a good one. I also loved your quote that says we color our own world. I loved that!

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Life

3 Things to Pay Attention to When Building Your Own Personal Brand

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Who are you? Not your name or your business or even what your ethics are, but who are you in the sense of what people see when they look at you? Does your name and your business bring happiness to the minds of people who hear it? Does it bring anger? Does it bring peace and joy? Does it bring sadness?

How people feel when they think of you is your personal brand. We all know who Gary Vaynerchuk, Tony Robbins, and Robert Kiyosaki are. These people have built huge reputations for themselves. We also know who Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-un, and Adolf Hitler are. These people have also build reputations for themselves; very different reputations than the first names I listed.

When you read these names, a different feeling comes to mind, so below are 3 ways on how to evoke positive emotions when people hear your name:

1. Envoke the senses

First lets understand what a brand is. A brand is a product or service that invokes a feeling or emotion. Building a brand is all about invoking the senses of your Customers, you don’t want people to think of your brand and only think of the logo. We want people to have a scent that reminds them of you, a sight like a logo, and a feel that reminds them of not only your brand, but of you as well.

When people think of your company, what do you want them to think of? What emotion do you want to inspire in your customer base, and what can help you inspire that emotion? When creating your personal brand, you want to invoke all five senses of your target audience. If you own a coffee shop, when people walk in you want them to smell coffee, their mouth to water when they think of fresh pastries, their ears to perk up when they hear the beans being ground up.

“I force people to have coffee with me, just because I don’t trust that a friendship can be maintained without any other senses besides a computer or cellphone screen.” – John Cusack

To create your brand you can’t only think about what you want associated with your business, but also what you don’t want associated with it. Think back to the coffee instead of smelling coffee and pastries, how would you feel about walking in and smelling bleach? Would you rather go to the first coffee shop or the second one?

Think of ways to create a positive experience when a customer walks in by bringing a scent to people, or an interesting sight as they walk through the door. These things will all eventually become part of your brand in the sense that when people think of them, they will think of you.

2. Attractive marketing

Marketing is an amazing way to help boost your company’s sales. But marketing can also hurt your business if it isn’t done correctly. Have you ever given someone your email or phone number and had him or her relentlessly spam you trying to get your business? When someone does that, do you want to use their service, or do you want to throw your phone at the wall every time they message you? When building a brand you also want to think of ways to make your business, and marketing plans more attractive.  

This goes back to what you want people to think of when they think of your brand. Small things can go a long way in creating an attractive image for you and your company. Attractive marketing doesn’t stop at just ads, and endorsement. Thinking of ways to portray yourself in a positive light will help as well. It’s natural to think a person would be doing business with a company, but each customer is doing business with you directly. Now think back to a time you were in a store and had terrible customer service. How likely are you to go back to that store?

Even if that company employs thousands of people, the one bad experience you had with one employee could actually prevent you from going back. People are more likely to go somewhere they think of in a positive light, some place that reminds them of a good experience. A personal brand is not only a brand for your company or product, but it is also a way of branding yourself. The goal of marketing and creating a personal brand should be, to get your customer base to feel like they know you personally.

3. Build with social media

Social media is a great way to get your clients to feel like they know you personally. When a client feels like they know you, like you, and can trust you, they are more likely to buy whatever you are selling. People buy based off of person, product and price. So having that personal relationship with a client can go a long way, especially if they don’t know a lot about the product or price. There are tons of social media platforms to reach your customer base, but what platform gives the most personal, and honest form of your business?

One of the most surprising ways to build fans of your brand is podcasts. A podcast lets your audience hear your voice and speaking your opinions exactly how you meant them to be said. The more a person feels like they know you, the more likely they are to feel like they can trust you, your recommendations on products, and investments.

“Social media is not just an activity; it is an investment of valuable time and resources. Surround yourself with people who not just support you and stay with you, but inform your thinking about ways to WOW your online presence” – Sean Gardner

Unlike most social media platforms, podcasts don’t require someone to scroll through an endless feed, or pay attention to their phone or computer. For a podcast all you have to do is throw on a playlist and listen away while you are driving, cleaning, or just doing day-to-day tasks. The main goal is once you have a playlist of podcasts, someone only needs to hear one, let the playlist go, and suddenly be hooked on your opinions and advice.

You have the power to evoke emotions and feelings from people. In every moment of your life you are building your personal brand. Every time you interact with people and every thing you say makes up how people think and feel about both you and your products/services. When it comes to building your brand, the opportunities are endless but what I stated above is the perfect place to begin that journey. Always remember to create a brand to help your company speak for itself.

How do you make sure people understand who you are and follow you? Let us know by commenting below!
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15 Ways to Avoid Regret at the End of Your Life

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Most people live their lives in regret. If you have ever had the misfortune of experiencing regret, it is not a nice thing to experience. You must do the things you need to do to avoid regrets in your life.

At the point when individuals think back on their lives, what are the most widely recognized regrets they have? That is a significant inquiry we have to stop and ask all the more regularly. A few people think back and say the greatest regret they had was to not have kids. Others think back and say their greatest regret was in regards to lost time.

Whatever the case, it’s critical to take a look at how you are carrying on with your life and consider how you can avoid regrets.

Here are 15 ways to avoid regrets later on in your life:

1. Don’t follow someone else’s dreams

So many of us are living other people’s dreams such as our parents, guardians and other authoritative figures in our lives. We all have dreams and should endeavor to follow those dreams to the latter irrespective of what others may think. You can’t please everyone and should look to only please yourself and do what is right for you.

2. Stop taking your loved ones for granted

Your children won’t be children forever and will grow up to become adults and not have time for you as much. They may never even call and your parents will not be parents forever, they will leave you someday. So make sure you endeavor to spend every waking moment with them and appreciate them while you still have the opportunity to do so.

3. Stop pretending to be someone else

Imitation is suicide. When we pretend to be someone we are not, we are spending so much time not being who we are and in that situation, we are spending a whole lot of time not living. You are the person you know very well and if you spend your time living someone else’s life you will only end up being a copycat instead of being the very best you could be as well as being number one at it.

The most inspiring people in the world are true to themselves and when you are true to yourself, you will be at ease. This tends to attract like-minded people into your life which help you live a more fulfilling life.

4. Don’t burn all your bridges

Life is a journey of ups and downs, and you will have to be kind to people on your way up because you will meet them on your way down. Don’t burn the bridges of your past as you may need them later in life.

5. Always tell the truth

Lies destroy families and relationships. When you tell a lie you will have to back that lie with another and another until you have a whole tangled web of lies that cannot be remedied even if you want to. True relationships have their foundation in the truth and lasts forever. Always endeavour to tell the truth in every situation as telling a lie can lead to future regrets.

6. Live in the moment

Have you ever noticed that when you were a kid time seemed to be really slow and now that you are an adult, time moves really fast? That is because as kids, we always lived in the moment and as adults, we are always thinking of our next scheme, idea or business that time just seems to fly past us. Take your time to experience the now as you may regret it later in the future when you look into the mirror and ask where all the time went.

“All I have is all I need and all I need is all I have in this moment.” – Byron Katie

7. Don’t give up on true love

This is one of the biggest areas of regret for most people as they reject love because of fear, work or other excuses they give themselves. When you happen to find true and real love, cherish and nurture it well so that you don’t end up regretting it in the future.

8. Make others happy

The mark of a true existence is in the ability to make other people’s lives better and easier. Strive to make people happy and you will be happy yourself. A mid-life crisis is mainly made up of regrets and one way to alleviate this regret is to find a way to make people’s lives better. Do something good for someone such as engaging in volunteer work. In the end, it is not about your possessions but how many lives you touched.

9. Stand up for yourself

Many adults have always regretted not standing up for themselves when they had the opportunity to do so. Do not let people take you or any other person for that matter for granted. When I resumed secondary school there was this kid who tried to bully me. I warned him on many occasions to leave me alone and when he refused I had to punch him in the face.

He punched me back but never disturbed me again. Not that I am advocating violence but when someone tries to take advantage of you, fight back. Then they will know that you cannot be toiled with.

10. Take care of your health

It cannot be emphasized enough that health is wealth. You can have all the money in the world but without your health, it is nothing. Make sure you have a regular check-up and exercise and eat right.

11. Experience more

This is one of the greatest regrets of the dying because they wished they had experienced more out of life. Travel, go out with friends, see places and experience life because that’s what we are supposed to do while being alive, live.

12. Listen more

Surely, we all have lots to say but it is better when we listen. Listen to your spouse, listen to your kids and listen to your friends instead of talking all the time. Listen to the advice of your doctors and parents, family members and well wishers.

13. Don’t fear failure

Dare. Don’t be afraid to fail and take risks. On their death beds, most people always regret not taking chances on life and doing what they wanted to do and follow their dreams.

Don’t fear failure. Not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.” Bruce Lee

14. Don’t wait

There is no time again, if you have a dream, chase it. If there’s someone you like, let them know because you will always come second to someone who has taken the initiative to do something with their lives.

15. Talk to an elderly person

Old people regret lots of things and talking to them, they will tell you what to do and what not to do. Unfortunately, most of us see our old people as outdated and think that old people have nothing to teach us. If you hope on avoiding regrets in the future, make sure you listen to the advice of those better than you.

What are you doing on a daily basis to make sure you reach the end of your life fulfilled? Let us know by commenting below!
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3 Writing Exercises That Will Boost Your Confidence to New Levels

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The road of personal development will ask you to look at what you really believe about yourself. Life is continually asking us if we believe we are abundant, successful, and valued. Having an awareness of purpose, mission, and a meaningful message are all key. Confidence is the bedrock of growth and success.

Here are my favorite writing exercises that are sure to build your confidence and your belief in yourself:

1. Why I Will Succeed

It’s all too common to spend precious time thinking about what could go wrong or to mentally recite all the reasons why you aren’t qualified enough. This exercise helps focus your thoughts in the right direction.

Get a piece of paper and a pen and write this at the top. Why I Will Succeed As A _____________________.

Take a few deep breathes and bring your whole body into the present moment. Let go of what you desire that is out in the future and focus your attention on the talents, abilities, and experience you have right now.

Write down all the reasons why you will succeed. Read this list out loud, taking a deep breath in between each one and feeling the words in your body. Speak these truths daily until you believe them to the marrow in your bones.

“Every sentence I utter must be understood not as an affirmation, but as a question.” – Niels Bohr

2. Success Affirmations

Stepping into success is about finding a way to soothe our ego into what is beyond our comfort zone. It’s our ego’s job to keep us in more of the same and it values safety above all else.

Purchase a journal and write these powerful affirmations regularly.

  • I am willing to be willing.
  • I am willing to take the next step.
  • I am listening and open to what is mine to do today.
  • It’s safe for me to be seen. It’s safe for me to live wholeheartedly. It’s safe for me to put myself first.
  • It’s safe for me to be as passionate as I really am. It’s safe for me to be vocal and expressive. It’s safe for me to be too much for others.
  • It’s safe for me to show up full strength. It’s safe for me to be smart.
  • It’s safe for me to receive large amounts of money. It’s safe for me to work with clients who light me up. It’s safe for me to say no when I don’t click with someone.
  • It’s safe for me to show others what I want and need. It’s safe for me to be completely myself. It’s safe for me to find a way that works for me.
  • It’s safe for me to play full out.

“Success is a process, a quality of mind and a way of being, an outgoing affirmation of life.” – Alex Noble

3. Capital T’s

A couple years ago I had my handwriting analyzed and what I learned was the one letter that is directly connected to our level of confidence is how you write the lowercase form of the letter “t”. I was instructed to raise the bar on every “t” I wrote in order to raise my confidence level.

As you can imagine, once you are in the habit of writing lower case t’s, it takes practice. Either in the morning right after you wake up or just before you fall asleep, write out 20-60  capital T’s on a piece of paper. It’s pretty amazing to notice how new neural pathways are formed and the affect they have on our lives and interactions with others.

So many think the secret to success in personal development is related to what you know or who you know. However, while these things have some importance, they are worthless if you don’t believe in yourself.

Get notebook and a pen that you love and start practicing these simple writing exercises today. What helps you with your confidence levels?

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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6 Reasons Why You Should Never Glorify Failure After You’ve Failed

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Many people are ashamed of failure. If they so much as smell a whiff of failure, they quit instantly because the public notices it quickly. But you shouldn’t be ashamed of failure. A lot of people have failed. I’ve failed over and over again in my career, business, relationships and more. Yet, I keep trying because failure isn’t the final verdict.

On the flip side of the coin, lots of people glorify failure when they fail. When I see this happen, it leaves me with a sense of introspection. I understand that glorifying it makes them feel better. It helps them not feel judged for failing. At the same time, glorifying failure in areas of your life has some severe consequences.

Here are some reasons why I believe failure shouldn’t be glorified:

1. Glorifying failure stops you from learning from your mistakes

The main reason why many people fail is because they make certain mistakes. Assuming they had more information, the mistakes might have been prevented. Supposing they evaluated their options well, failure might not have happened. But none of these things happened. The mistake happened and it is undeniable.

The best way to move forward is to learn from the mistake or mistakes, so that you can prevent them from happening later on in life. Glorifying failure makes you look for justifiable reasons for what happened.

2. Glorifying failure makes you defensive

Human beings hate being criticized. It brings out the worst in us because it makes us feel judged and inadequate. When you glorify failure, it amounts to defending your actions. In your mind, you will give reasons for what happened. For instance, if a relationship doesn’t work out, you’ll probably blame it on the other party. You’ll blame it on their inadequacies.

You’ll probably never blame it on yourself. While each situation is unique and different, you can’t take away the fact that it takes two to tango. You can’t deny that it is the work of two people to make a relationship work. Glorifying failure gives you the backbone to put the blame on someone else while extricating yourself and your actions.

“No one is coming to save you. Your life is 100% your responsibility. Plan accordingly.”

3. Glorifying failure leaves you a mediocre

Nobody wants to live a mediocre life. Or do you? We all dream of greatness. We all dream of being successful. Few people go after their dreams. Others stay in the dream lane because they’re so afraid of failure. Do you know that refusing to try for what you want amounts to failure as well?

Failure does not necessarily happen when you take action in certain things and you watch it fall apart. Failure also happens when you’re passive in going after your dreams. You might not know it but you have failed. Automatically, you have glorified failure and given it strength to rule your life which leaves you in a mediocre state for years to come.

4. Glorifying failure stops you from taking risks

Life is full of risks. As an entrepreneur, I understand this a lot. When I first wanted to start my business, I pitched my ideas to a lot of potential investors. The very first person I pitched to looked at me critically, and said a lot of things that would take up all the space here if I typed it out.

In summary, they told me that my idea wasn’t as good as I thought, and tweaking it a bit would help me sell my pitch better. I instantly felt I had failed because they didn’t buy my idea. But instead of learning from it, I justified their words. I replied that they didn’t know that gold was staring at them. I said that they were too sentimental.

All in all, I justified my failure and I refused to pitch to anybody again for months. My thought process had stopped me from taking risks which I knew would help grow my business. From this single interaction, I learned when you glorify failure, you stop taking risks which can help you grow.

“The biggest risk is not taking any risk… In a world that changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks.” – Mark Zuckerberg

5. Glorifying failure blinds creativity

If you followed my story above well, then you would see that exalting failure blinds creativity. Because of my actions, I couldn’t critically analyze and evaluate my potential investor’s comment. They were obviously objective enough to see that my ideas were good, but not excellent.

They knew that with just a little creativity, my ideas could be better and worth more than I thought. It took me some time, but I eventually modified my ideas and their predictions were right. If I hadn’t justified their words when they first gave them, I would have learnt and challenged my creative side. But those months when I glorified my failure really blinded my creativity.

6. Glorifying failure teaches laziness

Refusing to glorify failure when I fail is one secret I know has helped me be better in all areas of my life. I know I want to be successful. I know I want to achieve a lot. How can I do that if I rest on my oars and praise failure when it happens?

It doesn’t work that way. Successful people have to be resilient in all they do. It doesn’t matter if there’s discomfort and uncertainty. Those factors are what propel people into greatness. And there’s no better teacher for those excruciating factors than failure. Not just failure but learning from failure when it happens.

Failure is something we’re all afraid of. Yes, even I am afraid of failure sometimes. But in the end, all I think about is that I have nothing to lose. When I feel discouraged, I simply remember Lance Armstrong’s words: “Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever”.

How do you handle failure? Let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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The Lie That Is My Overnight Success

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I started writing unprofessionally three years ago. Some would say my whole career is unprofessional and I’d agree. Imperfection is damn sexy though.

I began writing only because my mentor Joel Brown said I should and I stupidly said yes without knowing why. Now, of course, I’m crystal clear about why I write: it’s to inspire. I remember uploading articles to Addicted2Success.com and seeing no one like them. I remember thinking I was a failure.

In the early days, I was writing articles about entrepreneurs I had interviewed and I wasn’t that passionate about it. Every article felt like really hard work and it required an incredible amount of willpower. Everyone at the time was doing entrepreneur interviews and there was nothing special.

Then one day, I wrote an article for the fun of it that had nothing to do with anything. It was essentially a brain fart that I concocted after dinner, late one night. It took less than one hour to write and it was written with passion. The words came out of me without even trying.

Since that day, the words have continued to pour out of me in the same way. I get into a state of flow and then it happens. Words appear, people get inspired and we all have one big party that has been named “life.” From the day I wrote that article, thousands of people shared it and they still do today.

 

I didn’t stop

After my big moment on the internet going viral, everything stopped. The tumbleweed that drifted through the desert with an eerie silence continued. Everything calmed down and people stopped caring again.

I didn’t stop though because I found my writing therapeutical.

“My blog posts became like my own personal journey and it was a way for me to escape from the Alcatraz that was my head. This prison that lived inside my head kept telling me that no one cared and I’d never be successful.”

I decided to keep finding ways to break out of Alcatraz and check in to the Ritz Hotel that was me becoming a conscious, passionate, crazy online leader.

 

I stopped giving a damn

Over the next eighteen months, I kept writing every moment I got. No one paid attention but I did. I started paying attention to the shift that was happening inside of me. The leader that had always been stuck inside of me started to unleash.

The things that used to hold me back disappeared. I didn’t give two hoots about what anyone thought and I only cared about inspiring those who wanted to be inspired. I worked my butt off and started waking up at 4 am to post new blog articles. People couldn’t understand how I had the time to write working a full-time job.

The part they didn’t get was that because the words flowed out of me so easily, it didn’t take that long at all to write something of value. People watched me posting articles and thought I was crazy. They thought what I was doing was career suicide in the big bad world of corporate politics.

I never liked politics anyway, so I stuck my middle finger up at the way things were traditionally done. I decided to be a rebel writer and live my dream. I continued to make no money and people kept on questioning what I was doing.

 

I believed

A few people believed, but most didn’t. What stuck out like tomato sauce on a freshly dry cleaned white shirt was that I believed and that’s all that mattered. I saw something that no one else could see: my real potential versus my current success.

I had the motivation to continue on when no one cared because I believed I could change the world. I saw myself as someone who had the potential to serve millions of people online. I kept telling myself never to give up and I also spread the same message throughout everything I wrote.

“I thought my writing was going to save everybody else, but what it really did is save myself”

My writing saved me from living a life without meaning and it helped me discover who I really was. I saw the pattern between every goal I’d ever had: to inspire and evoke emotion from strangers.

This clarity fuelled me and I became relentless. I reached out to every blogger, leader and person that had done cool stuff that inspired me. Originally I thought they’d all ignore me: none of them did. See when you have energy and passion oozing out of you, people can’t say no. An unwavering belief in what you’re doing is all that matters.

 

The tipping point happened

I began to see a change when each day I started to get a message from a reader/fan. It started as one message per day, then two, then three. Now I get more messages of support every day than I have time to read. Success often doesn’t become a reality in a single moment.

Success is something that is hard to measure in the early days until one giant moment happens that everyone sees. The part no one sees is the many smaller moments that happened beforehand. The small successes that may not have looked like a textbook example of “success.”

 

That big day finally came

So the big day happened when an article I wrote went viral. This was the third time it had happened, although this time the success became permanent. All those years, when I thought no one was reading, people were. What had occurred was that they were too scared to show they were reading because my success was still largely unproven.

It was only after the big success moment that people felt it was okay to come out of the metaphorical closet and say they were inspired by what I was doing. All those nights spent locked away in my office being anti-social was worth it. All those cups of green tea, takeaway meals, indoor plants, and weird emails to myself with possible headlines for articles had meant something.

More publications reached out to me and pretty soon I wasn’t just writing for Addicted2Success; I was writing for the biggest sites on the entire internet. The ones where the editors get pitched one hundred times a day by people who want to do nothing more than self-promote and build a BS “personal brand.”

Before I knew it, I was getting offered book deals, business opportunities, podcast interviews and public speaking gigs. I took some but ignored most. I remembered what was important and the fact that unwavering focus had got me to where I was.

I knew I was ready for some opportunities and not for others like public speaking. The journey had begun, but I was far from the summit of the mountain of my dreams.

 

Nothing changed

Strangely, though, it was all one ginormous anti-climax moment. Nothing had changed. Even today nothing has changed. I still want to inspire people and I still like sharing stories. I still want to live with passion and I still want to create a meaning for my life that outlives me.

What has changed is that people have seen my success as something that’s happened recently – what total BS that is. It’s taken my entire existence to discover the meaning of my life, find a medium to share it on and go after it with relentless optimism.

 

What you didn’t see with my success

You didn’t see the person that existed before all of this. You didn’t see the selfish, rude, arrogant, brat who lived for material possessions and felt like he was entitled to success because he grew up in Australia, the land of the free. I can say those horrible things because I’m talking about myself. Thankfully that’s the opposite of who I am now.

You didn’t see the transformation that occurred after that one big rock bottom moment. When everything made no sense and I had to look inside of myself to crawl out of that black hole that had become my existence. You didn’t see me step out of the darkness and into the light.

All you saw was me in the light and assumed I had always been there shining away brightly, and living the good life that is passion and purpose. How wrong that lie is. How wrong the whole concept of overnight success is.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared hundreds of thousands of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around success, personal development, motivation, and entrepreneurship. During the day Tim works with the most iconic tech companies in the world, as an adviser, to assist them in expanding into Australia. By night, Tim coaches his students on the principles of personal development and the fundamentals of entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net or through his Facebook.

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13 Comments

13 Comments

  1. Shaleza Aise

    Aug 28, 2016 at 5:48 pm

    Hey, Tim.
    Thanks for writing such a great article. I’ve had dark periods in the past and I’ve learnt to keep happy and positive, due to my long term interest in personal development.
    However, we are all human and even small or temporary setback can leave you feeling jaded. I was having a ‘sad day’ and I started to feel better, when I came across your article and it catapulted me right back to my usual grateful self.
    I use many of the strategies you talked about, but I think I need to write more on my blog. I used to in the past, but now I find it harder to sit and write, for fear the flood gates will open. Maybe that would not be a bad thing.
    I find meditation to be an amazing help. It quietens the mind and gives me much peace.
    Thank you so much for sharing and I hope you pass through your difficult time/ circumstances speedily. We are all connected in this great universe of ours and I send you my best wishes.

    Shaleza

  2. The Broke Dad

    Aug 13, 2016 at 12:39 pm

    Well said. I have been in those dark places before and though I have never done all of the steps you have listed I have used several of them. Writing is a big thing for me. When I was down, in that dark place, and feeling like things would never improve I started to write. It was difficult, I had to force myself to do it, but once I started I could not stop my thoughts from flooding out of me and onto the screen in front of me. It was an amazing type of therapy and it cost me nothing. Now reading your post I wish I would have known what an e-book was so I could have saved all of those thoughts and put it into a book to help others.
    Thanks again for a great post. Enjoyed it

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 14, 2016 at 11:09 pm

      Broke Dad I love your blog and thanks for sharing your insight! Writing can help all of us get our thoughts out of our head and onto paper. When we see our thoughts in the physical form we start to see them differently and all of a sudden the BS we are telling ourselves becomes clear.

  3. Adebayo

    Aug 11, 2016 at 7:47 pm

    I am always inspired around here 2b sincere Tim keep it up.
    Raising capital is my issue but with time it will b past.
    Keep it up.

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 12, 2016 at 10:26 am

      Adebayo thanks for spreading the love. Raising capital is a tough one. What’s most important is that you have a team behind you that investors will want to back. Have confidence and know that you may have to try over one hundred options for finance before you find the right one.

  4. Charlene Rhinehart

    Aug 11, 2016 at 9:17 am

    Another great article! Thanks for sharing, Tim! I needed an extra dose of motivation in order to recover from a few no responses that I received today so I started to peruse this site for inspiration. This was the first article I saw and it immediately drew me in. Just what I needed to give me an energy boost! Thanks Tim!

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 11, 2016 at 7:53 pm

      Thanks Charlene. We all need a bit og motivation to get us going again. I’ve also received a few no responses recently from certain people I’ve reached out to. My advice is to just keep trying to reach them. I tried for one year to get to a celebrity entrepreneur recently and finally got a hold of him. It takes real patience.

  5. Chris Targett

    Aug 11, 2016 at 5:47 am

    Everyone can use more positivity in their lives, it’s infectious. I think it’s great that you spoke to someone successful and found out that they’ve had struggles in their life, we look at successful people and think they have always been successful, but with digging deeper we find that they are human after all.

    That is going to be my task, find someone who has been successful, sit down with them and see what they have done in their life to get where they are now.

    Thanks for the article Tim

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 11, 2016 at 6:01 am

      Chris thanks for your comments and for sharing your opinion. Successful people are often not who people think they are. I’ve learned this many times over the years.

  6. Ram Vijay

    Aug 11, 2016 at 5:45 am

    Tim, You are doing wonderful work by creating and sharing most needed articles . I am reading all of your articles and trying to follow it. Keep up the good work man!!!

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 11, 2016 at 5:58 am

      Wow thanks Ram for the very kind words and I’m glad you are reading all the articles!

  7. Toño

    Aug 11, 2016 at 2:20 am

    I wanted to get back to this article when I’ll return home from work, but could not help and read it now. During my morning meditation, I contemplated on the reply, barely concentrating on the practice haha.

    You always seem to find such a great pictures for your writing, Tim. They are eye-catching and fit so well to what you say.

    I really enjoyed the article, basically you don’t need any coffe to make your morning as this is what will feel you awake and aware! Meditate like crazy? Hah, I loved it! Will certainly do, my friend.

    I also would like to add daily motivation to this list as it becomes highly important ingredient in my life right now. After so many hours of practicing it I feel like something changing inside of me and to keep this change you should motivate yourself every single day. I realized quite a long time ago that process of going to sleep and them waking up is like a mini-born process and that you start your life every time you wake up. It may sound a bit crazy, but in my early ages, I was afraid to go to bed because I was feeling so good and did not want to lose my good mood and attitude. It is extremely vital to go to bed motivated to make sure your mind is in the right state, and when you wake up, start immediately to motivate yourself again. Work on yourself and never stop. You may require doing so few times a day, because we all know, motivation won’t last much long. At first, it will feel unnatural, heavy routine and the longer you stayed hopeless or depressed the harder to get started, but you will thank yourself later.

    Again, practice it daily and do not let it slip. The longer you procrastinate the worse you may feel. Eventually, you WILL feel better as nothing lasts forever, but as you are in control of your life and do not want circumstances control your mind, you should get back to motivation few times per day, or at the very least on your mornings and evenings. I usually do few different activities so my brain does not get bored. You can start your day with meditation, reading a good article on a2s, watching motivational video on youtube, write a letter of appreciation to Tim Denning :D, workout, jogging, listen to uplifting music or simple walk your beloved dog who is your best friend.

    I started today with meditation, this article, short video of one man doing his journey in the beautiful Hawaii, and about to listen to Preston Smiles’ audiobook and then some good vibe music. I know my day is gonna be awesome because I made my intention work and brought them to life. I decided to be aware and be happy.

    Loss of hope, depression or happiness, those are all state of your conditioned mind as everything on this Earth is neutral and you color your experience whatever you want. So choose wisely what you can shape your mind in.

    I meditated recently on why even though we work so hard to be happy, many of us tend to get back to the state of depression or simply feel not good so very often, and I realized it because of training. We train ourselves so very hard, with the passion and desire to feel bad that when we finally decide to feel good we struggle. Even when we succeed eventually, our brain will try to lure you into the grim state because it is so natural for it to indulge in our heavy thoughts. You trained it for years and of course, it will come back to familiar grounds. So now you can train to feel good, and when eventual downtime will hit you, it’s just the habit you can overcome.

    Thank you so much again Tim for getting me ready for the day, for the journey and amazing feelings, appreciate it highly! Much love to you, keep yourself healthy and have a wonderful day!

    Peace!

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 11, 2016 at 5:54 am

      Toño thanks for introducing me to the idea of a mini born again after sleeping. It’s a very interesting idea that I have thought of many times before and wondered to myself “what if this really was the case.”

      So glad the meditation is working out for you and the daily motivation suggestion is a good one. I also loved your quote that says we color our own world. I loved that!

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Life

3 Things to Pay Attention to When Building Your Own Personal Brand

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building a brand

Who are you? Not your name or your business or even what your ethics are, but who are you in the sense of what people see when they look at you? Does your name and your business bring happiness to the minds of people who hear it? Does it bring anger? Does it bring peace and joy? Does it bring sadness?

How people feel when they think of you is your personal brand. We all know who Gary Vaynerchuk, Tony Robbins, and Robert Kiyosaki are. These people have built huge reputations for themselves. We also know who Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-un, and Adolf Hitler are. These people have also build reputations for themselves; very different reputations than the first names I listed.

When you read these names, a different feeling comes to mind, so below are 3 ways on how to evoke positive emotions when people hear your name:

1. Envoke the senses

First lets understand what a brand is. A brand is a product or service that invokes a feeling or emotion. Building a brand is all about invoking the senses of your Customers, you don’t want people to think of your brand and only think of the logo. We want people to have a scent that reminds them of you, a sight like a logo, and a feel that reminds them of not only your brand, but of you as well.

When people think of your company, what do you want them to think of? What emotion do you want to inspire in your customer base, and what can help you inspire that emotion? When creating your personal brand, you want to invoke all five senses of your target audience. If you own a coffee shop, when people walk in you want them to smell coffee, their mouth to water when they think of fresh pastries, their ears to perk up when they hear the beans being ground up.

“I force people to have coffee with me, just because I don’t trust that a friendship can be maintained without any other senses besides a computer or cellphone screen.” – John Cusack

To create your brand you can’t only think about what you want associated with your business, but also what you don’t want associated with it. Think back to the coffee instead of smelling coffee and pastries, how would you feel about walking in and smelling bleach? Would you rather go to the first coffee shop or the second one?

Think of ways to create a positive experience when a customer walks in by bringing a scent to people, or an interesting sight as they walk through the door. These things will all eventually become part of your brand in the sense that when people think of them, they will think of you.

2. Attractive marketing

Marketing is an amazing way to help boost your company’s sales. But marketing can also hurt your business if it isn’t done correctly. Have you ever given someone your email or phone number and had him or her relentlessly spam you trying to get your business? When someone does that, do you want to use their service, or do you want to throw your phone at the wall every time they message you? When building a brand you also want to think of ways to make your business, and marketing plans more attractive.  

This goes back to what you want people to think of when they think of your brand. Small things can go a long way in creating an attractive image for you and your company. Attractive marketing doesn’t stop at just ads, and endorsement. Thinking of ways to portray yourself in a positive light will help as well. It’s natural to think a person would be doing business with a company, but each customer is doing business with you directly. Now think back to a time you were in a store and had terrible customer service. How likely are you to go back to that store?

Even if that company employs thousands of people, the one bad experience you had with one employee could actually prevent you from going back. People are more likely to go somewhere they think of in a positive light, some place that reminds them of a good experience. A personal brand is not only a brand for your company or product, but it is also a way of branding yourself. The goal of marketing and creating a personal brand should be, to get your customer base to feel like they know you personally.

3. Build with social media

Social media is a great way to get your clients to feel like they know you personally. When a client feels like they know you, like you, and can trust you, they are more likely to buy whatever you are selling. People buy based off of person, product and price. So having that personal relationship with a client can go a long way, especially if they don’t know a lot about the product or price. There are tons of social media platforms to reach your customer base, but what platform gives the most personal, and honest form of your business?

One of the most surprising ways to build fans of your brand is podcasts. A podcast lets your audience hear your voice and speaking your opinions exactly how you meant them to be said. The more a person feels like they know you, the more likely they are to feel like they can trust you, your recommendations on products, and investments.

“Social media is not just an activity; it is an investment of valuable time and resources. Surround yourself with people who not just support you and stay with you, but inform your thinking about ways to WOW your online presence” – Sean Gardner

Unlike most social media platforms, podcasts don’t require someone to scroll through an endless feed, or pay attention to their phone or computer. For a podcast all you have to do is throw on a playlist and listen away while you are driving, cleaning, or just doing day-to-day tasks. The main goal is once you have a playlist of podcasts, someone only needs to hear one, let the playlist go, and suddenly be hooked on your opinions and advice.

You have the power to evoke emotions and feelings from people. In every moment of your life you are building your personal brand. Every time you interact with people and every thing you say makes up how people think and feel about both you and your products/services. When it comes to building your brand, the opportunities are endless but what I stated above is the perfect place to begin that journey. Always remember to create a brand to help your company speak for itself.

How do you make sure people understand who you are and follow you? Let us know by commenting below!
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15 Ways to Avoid Regret at the End of Your Life

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Most people live their lives in regret. If you have ever had the misfortune of experiencing regret, it is not a nice thing to experience. You must do the things you need to do to avoid regrets in your life.

At the point when individuals think back on their lives, what are the most widely recognized regrets they have? That is a significant inquiry we have to stop and ask all the more regularly. A few people think back and say the greatest regret they had was to not have kids. Others think back and say their greatest regret was in regards to lost time.

Whatever the case, it’s critical to take a look at how you are carrying on with your life and consider how you can avoid regrets.

Here are 15 ways to avoid regrets later on in your life:

1. Don’t follow someone else’s dreams

So many of us are living other people’s dreams such as our parents, guardians and other authoritative figures in our lives. We all have dreams and should endeavor to follow those dreams to the latter irrespective of what others may think. You can’t please everyone and should look to only please yourself and do what is right for you.

2. Stop taking your loved ones for granted

Your children won’t be children forever and will grow up to become adults and not have time for you as much. They may never even call and your parents will not be parents forever, they will leave you someday. So make sure you endeavor to spend every waking moment with them and appreciate them while you still have the opportunity to do so.

3. Stop pretending to be someone else

Imitation is suicide. When we pretend to be someone we are not, we are spending so much time not being who we are and in that situation, we are spending a whole lot of time not living. You are the person you know very well and if you spend your time living someone else’s life you will only end up being a copycat instead of being the very best you could be as well as being number one at it.

The most inspiring people in the world are true to themselves and when you are true to yourself, you will be at ease. This tends to attract like-minded people into your life which help you live a more fulfilling life.

4. Don’t burn all your bridges

Life is a journey of ups and downs, and you will have to be kind to people on your way up because you will meet them on your way down. Don’t burn the bridges of your past as you may need them later in life.

5. Always tell the truth

Lies destroy families and relationships. When you tell a lie you will have to back that lie with another and another until you have a whole tangled web of lies that cannot be remedied even if you want to. True relationships have their foundation in the truth and lasts forever. Always endeavour to tell the truth in every situation as telling a lie can lead to future regrets.

6. Live in the moment

Have you ever noticed that when you were a kid time seemed to be really slow and now that you are an adult, time moves really fast? That is because as kids, we always lived in the moment and as adults, we are always thinking of our next scheme, idea or business that time just seems to fly past us. Take your time to experience the now as you may regret it later in the future when you look into the mirror and ask where all the time went.

“All I have is all I need and all I need is all I have in this moment.” – Byron Katie

7. Don’t give up on true love

This is one of the biggest areas of regret for most people as they reject love because of fear, work or other excuses they give themselves. When you happen to find true and real love, cherish and nurture it well so that you don’t end up regretting it in the future.

8. Make others happy

The mark of a true existence is in the ability to make other people’s lives better and easier. Strive to make people happy and you will be happy yourself. A mid-life crisis is mainly made up of regrets and one way to alleviate this regret is to find a way to make people’s lives better. Do something good for someone such as engaging in volunteer work. In the end, it is not about your possessions but how many lives you touched.

9. Stand up for yourself

Many adults have always regretted not standing up for themselves when they had the opportunity to do so. Do not let people take you or any other person for that matter for granted. When I resumed secondary school there was this kid who tried to bully me. I warned him on many occasions to leave me alone and when he refused I had to punch him in the face.

He punched me back but never disturbed me again. Not that I am advocating violence but when someone tries to take advantage of you, fight back. Then they will know that you cannot be toiled with.

10. Take care of your health

It cannot be emphasized enough that health is wealth. You can have all the money in the world but without your health, it is nothing. Make sure you have a regular check-up and exercise and eat right.

11. Experience more

This is one of the greatest regrets of the dying because they wished they had experienced more out of life. Travel, go out with friends, see places and experience life because that’s what we are supposed to do while being alive, live.

12. Listen more

Surely, we all have lots to say but it is better when we listen. Listen to your spouse, listen to your kids and listen to your friends instead of talking all the time. Listen to the advice of your doctors and parents, family members and well wishers.

13. Don’t fear failure

Dare. Don’t be afraid to fail and take risks. On their death beds, most people always regret not taking chances on life and doing what they wanted to do and follow their dreams.

Don’t fear failure. Not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.” Bruce Lee

14. Don’t wait

There is no time again, if you have a dream, chase it. If there’s someone you like, let them know because you will always come second to someone who has taken the initiative to do something with their lives.

15. Talk to an elderly person

Old people regret lots of things and talking to them, they will tell you what to do and what not to do. Unfortunately, most of us see our old people as outdated and think that old people have nothing to teach us. If you hope on avoiding regrets in the future, make sure you listen to the advice of those better than you.

What are you doing on a daily basis to make sure you reach the end of your life fulfilled? Let us know by commenting below!
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Life

3 Writing Exercises That Will Boost Your Confidence to New Levels

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The road of personal development will ask you to look at what you really believe about yourself. Life is continually asking us if we believe we are abundant, successful, and valued. Having an awareness of purpose, mission, and a meaningful message are all key. Confidence is the bedrock of growth and success.

Here are my favorite writing exercises that are sure to build your confidence and your belief in yourself:

1. Why I Will Succeed

It’s all too common to spend precious time thinking about what could go wrong or to mentally recite all the reasons why you aren’t qualified enough. This exercise helps focus your thoughts in the right direction.

Get a piece of paper and a pen and write this at the top. Why I Will Succeed As A _____________________.

Take a few deep breathes and bring your whole body into the present moment. Let go of what you desire that is out in the future and focus your attention on the talents, abilities, and experience you have right now.

Write down all the reasons why you will succeed. Read this list out loud, taking a deep breath in between each one and feeling the words in your body. Speak these truths daily until you believe them to the marrow in your bones.

“Every sentence I utter must be understood not as an affirmation, but as a question.” – Niels Bohr

2. Success Affirmations

Stepping into success is about finding a way to soothe our ego into what is beyond our comfort zone. It’s our ego’s job to keep us in more of the same and it values safety above all else.

Purchase a journal and write these powerful affirmations regularly.

  • I am willing to be willing.
  • I am willing to take the next step.
  • I am listening and open to what is mine to do today.
  • It’s safe for me to be seen. It’s safe for me to live wholeheartedly. It’s safe for me to put myself first.
  • It’s safe for me to be as passionate as I really am. It’s safe for me to be vocal and expressive. It’s safe for me to be too much for others.
  • It’s safe for me to show up full strength. It’s safe for me to be smart.
  • It’s safe for me to receive large amounts of money. It’s safe for me to work with clients who light me up. It’s safe for me to say no when I don’t click with someone.
  • It’s safe for me to show others what I want and need. It’s safe for me to be completely myself. It’s safe for me to find a way that works for me.
  • It’s safe for me to play full out.

“Success is a process, a quality of mind and a way of being, an outgoing affirmation of life.” – Alex Noble

3. Capital T’s

A couple years ago I had my handwriting analyzed and what I learned was the one letter that is directly connected to our level of confidence is how you write the lowercase form of the letter “t”. I was instructed to raise the bar on every “t” I wrote in order to raise my confidence level.

As you can imagine, once you are in the habit of writing lower case t’s, it takes practice. Either in the morning right after you wake up or just before you fall asleep, write out 20-60  capital T’s on a piece of paper. It’s pretty amazing to notice how new neural pathways are formed and the affect they have on our lives and interactions with others.

So many think the secret to success in personal development is related to what you know or who you know. However, while these things have some importance, they are worthless if you don’t believe in yourself.

Get notebook and a pen that you love and start practicing these simple writing exercises today. What helps you with your confidence levels?

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Life

6 Reasons Why You Should Never Glorify Failure After You’ve Failed

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Many people are ashamed of failure. If they so much as smell a whiff of failure, they quit instantly because the public notices it quickly. But you shouldn’t be ashamed of failure. A lot of people have failed. I’ve failed over and over again in my career, business, relationships and more. Yet, I keep trying because failure isn’t the final verdict.

On the flip side of the coin, lots of people glorify failure when they fail. When I see this happen, it leaves me with a sense of introspection. I understand that glorifying it makes them feel better. It helps them not feel judged for failing. At the same time, glorifying failure in areas of your life has some severe consequences.

Here are some reasons why I believe failure shouldn’t be glorified:

1. Glorifying failure stops you from learning from your mistakes

The main reason why many people fail is because they make certain mistakes. Assuming they had more information, the mistakes might have been prevented. Supposing they evaluated their options well, failure might not have happened. But none of these things happened. The mistake happened and it is undeniable.

The best way to move forward is to learn from the mistake or mistakes, so that you can prevent them from happening later on in life. Glorifying failure makes you look for justifiable reasons for what happened.

2. Glorifying failure makes you defensive

Human beings hate being criticized. It brings out the worst in us because it makes us feel judged and inadequate. When you glorify failure, it amounts to defending your actions. In your mind, you will give reasons for what happened. For instance, if a relationship doesn’t work out, you’ll probably blame it on the other party. You’ll blame it on their inadequacies.

You’ll probably never blame it on yourself. While each situation is unique and different, you can’t take away the fact that it takes two to tango. You can’t deny that it is the work of two people to make a relationship work. Glorifying failure gives you the backbone to put the blame on someone else while extricating yourself and your actions.

“No one is coming to save you. Your life is 100% your responsibility. Plan accordingly.”

3. Glorifying failure leaves you a mediocre

Nobody wants to live a mediocre life. Or do you? We all dream of greatness. We all dream of being successful. Few people go after their dreams. Others stay in the dream lane because they’re so afraid of failure. Do you know that refusing to try for what you want amounts to failure as well?

Failure does not necessarily happen when you take action in certain things and you watch it fall apart. Failure also happens when you’re passive in going after your dreams. You might not know it but you have failed. Automatically, you have glorified failure and given it strength to rule your life which leaves you in a mediocre state for years to come.

4. Glorifying failure stops you from taking risks

Life is full of risks. As an entrepreneur, I understand this a lot. When I first wanted to start my business, I pitched my ideas to a lot of potential investors. The very first person I pitched to looked at me critically, and said a lot of things that would take up all the space here if I typed it out.

In summary, they told me that my idea wasn’t as good as I thought, and tweaking it a bit would help me sell my pitch better. I instantly felt I had failed because they didn’t buy my idea. But instead of learning from it, I justified their words. I replied that they didn’t know that gold was staring at them. I said that they were too sentimental.

All in all, I justified my failure and I refused to pitch to anybody again for months. My thought process had stopped me from taking risks which I knew would help grow my business. From this single interaction, I learned when you glorify failure, you stop taking risks which can help you grow.

“The biggest risk is not taking any risk… In a world that changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks.” – Mark Zuckerberg

5. Glorifying failure blinds creativity

If you followed my story above well, then you would see that exalting failure blinds creativity. Because of my actions, I couldn’t critically analyze and evaluate my potential investor’s comment. They were obviously objective enough to see that my ideas were good, but not excellent.

They knew that with just a little creativity, my ideas could be better and worth more than I thought. It took me some time, but I eventually modified my ideas and their predictions were right. If I hadn’t justified their words when they first gave them, I would have learnt and challenged my creative side. But those months when I glorified my failure really blinded my creativity.

6. Glorifying failure teaches laziness

Refusing to glorify failure when I fail is one secret I know has helped me be better in all areas of my life. I know I want to be successful. I know I want to achieve a lot. How can I do that if I rest on my oars and praise failure when it happens?

It doesn’t work that way. Successful people have to be resilient in all they do. It doesn’t matter if there’s discomfort and uncertainty. Those factors are what propel people into greatness. And there’s no better teacher for those excruciating factors than failure. Not just failure but learning from failure when it happens.

Failure is something we’re all afraid of. Yes, even I am afraid of failure sometimes. But in the end, all I think about is that I have nothing to lose. When I feel discouraged, I simply remember Lance Armstrong’s words: “Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever”.

How do you handle failure? Let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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