Dealing with dark times can be hard. Sometimes there is no simple way out, and it can at times seem like all hope is lost. There is always a solution to every problem, and it’s entirely possible to get out of a hopeless situation.
I am going through a tough time at the moment after a breakup and a few other challenges have arisen all at the same time. I feel lucky that I have spent a substantial amount of time on personal growth over the last few years, so my tool belt to deal with these issues is fully packed.
With that said, it doesn’t always make it any easier. Whether you experience pain or not is entirely up to you. Pain is a decision, and I personally choose not to go down that road. It’s not easy to avoid though because it can often be our minds default position if we don’t practice self-control.
Life is an amazing gift and when we sit back and remember that, the dark cloud start to clear even if it’s only for a moment.
Below are 7 ways to create positivity in your life when it feels like all hope seems lost and I am successfully using all of these strategies as I write this blog post:
1. Send out gratitude SMS’s
When times are tough, and your chips are down, a creative way to bring positivity in your life is to send out gratitude SMS’s to everyone that you are close with. Personalise each message and tell your friends why you appreciate them in your life. Don’t make it war and peace but truly express what they mean to you.
If done correctly, you should get a flood of SMS’s back with words of encouragement. I did this recently, and it really helped me see the positivity in my life. It showed me that people do care just as much as I care about them.
Some of the SMS’s can even spark up conversations with people you haven’t spoken to in a while. You’ll quickly realise that you are more successful and more cared for than you think.
2. Foster the belief
Belief is one of the cornerstones of our life. What we believe shapes who we are. To create positivity during a dark period of your life, you have to believe that the season will pass and that you are destined for greater things.
For the last few weeks, I have focused on the belief that my current circumstances will change because I am cultivating the proper beliefs that I can be something special no matter what anyone else may think about me.
All of this advice, all of the entrepreneur friends I have, all of the healthy eating I’ve committed to, is meant to help me be something bigger. It will become apparent as long as I’m patient and believe that a higher purpose is the only way forward.
Concentrate on the present and the daily habits that will help get you back on track. Creating positive thoughts and living in a positive way can only equal one thing: positive results.
“Believe in yourself no matter what and don’t stay in the past”
3. Meditate like crazy
When all hope seems lost your mind becomes even busier than usual. Your head fills with destructive thoughts that have the energy and power to destroy everything you have worked for. Again, exercising self-control, through meditating like crazy is a great way to reign in those stray thoughts.
Start with five minutes which is a goal you can definitely achieve. Then, try doing this multiple times through the day. As the momentum starts to build, crank up the sessions to 15-20 minutes at a time. Don’t let anything stop you and enjoy the calm feeling that you will get from your sessions.
Meditation is the number one way to calm your mind so that it can be a breeding ground for new, positive thoughts.
4. Write an Ebook
Using a mindset of abundance you can take a difficult situation and use it to create value for other people. Nothing but positive things can happen to you when you give for no reason at all. An Ebook of advice is the antidote to your pain.
I have just completed a new Ebook called “How To Become A Game Changing Influencer Online And Inspire Millions.” This is not a shameless plug but a free Ebook I am giving to all of the readers of Addicted2Success to say thank you for all the support.
Again, nothing but positivity can come from giving value to others and trying to do good in the world through a positive message. Focus on what you can do for others and what value you bring to the table. Your mind will have no choice other than to cultivate positive thoughts.
5. Visit a homeless shelter
Similar to the previous point, an excellent way to get through a tough time is to remove yourself from the equation and go and visit a homeless shelter. In a homeless shelter, your dreams and goals can be actualised without you even realising it.
Going beyond yourself and helping those who are in a much tougher situation than you creates positivity. It will show you that even when you think your story is bad and that no one could be as unlucky as you, you’re wrong.
Little old you has the power to change someone’s entire day through the act of handing out a meal to someone that can’t afford their own. Your presence even has the power to change that homeless person’s day to where they make the decision to change their circumstances forever.
Now isn’t that a great way to forget about your troubles and cultivate positivity in the world?
6. Read “The Pursuit Of Happyness”
This book is the first one you should read if you are going through a culmination of negative events in your life. The story of Chris Gardner growing up in a violent home and then raising a child while being homeless will change your perspective.
Stories of struggle and then ultimately triumph will build your confidence and show you that all it takes is a little positivity to get up off the ground, dust yourself off, and have another go at your dream. No one is going to judge you because they have their own challenges to worry about.
7. Call those who have the dream life
We all have people around us that have the life we dream of. When all hope seems lost, these people are the one’s you should call. Don’t scare them off with negative vibes, rather, have a conversation with them about what they did to be successful.
Find out the strategies and most importantly, find out what they thought when they had to overcome challenges. Through these people, you can learn so much about how to deal with your own situation.
I did this very exercise and one of the calls I had revealed something that I never knew. The person who I thought had an awesome life actually came from a very dark place. They admitted to sleeping with prostitutes, double dropping ecstasy pills, and smoking crack cocaine.
This person went from what seemed like the habits of a suicidal person, to being an inspirational entrepreneur and living a dream lifestyle. You have to get good at looking beyond the colorful Instagram photos of all the people that will sell you the false idea that they’re life is perfect and go behind the scenes.
Being good at asking questions will give you the only tool you need to start digging and understanding more about the people you admire. Through other people’s dreams, you get to see a glimpse of your own. Your dream is only possible when you foster positivity in your life.
Go beyond your story and use it to bring happiness to everyone around you. Get on this thing we call the Internet and start sharing. Inspire the world through what you do and never spend a moment bringing people down. As you build up other people, you will build up yourself.
“Positive results come from positive actions. Get off the couch, turn off Game Of Thrones, and go do something that will create positivity. Like attracts like. Positive thoughts attract positive results” – Tim Denning
How have you created positivity in your own life? Let me know on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook.
8 Things You Can Do to Rise Above Failure and Attain Success
Highly successful people have tasted failure more than success. Whether its Nikola Tesla or Michael Jordan, everyone had his/her fair share of failures before rising to the pinnacle of success. Yet, most people I know are averse to the idea of failure.
When ambition fuels your desires, you become so conscious about avoiding failure that you forget to learn how to cope with it when you actually experience it. So, when you come face-to-face with adversity, it often overwhelms you.
This brings us to the question, how can you train yourself to overcome these difficulties and use them to your advantage? Here’s how:
1. Acceptance is important to overcome failure
When the going gets tough, one of the most frustrating things you may get to hear is “stay positive.” The idea of positive thinking has been misconstrued, misused, and abused continuously. Contrary to popular belief, positive thinking has nothing to do with smiling and being happy with everything that happens to you all the time. Anyone who preaches that is either lying or crazy.
Use positive thinking to learn, grow, and evolve from the experiences we gather in life. Positive thinking simply means that if you are faced with a setback, you work hard to overcome the challenges. When you experience hardships, it is alright to feel upset and disappointed. Our objective, however, is not to stay down.
2. Be honest with yourself
The most crucial part of dealing with a failure involves pausing for a couple of minutes and pondering over what happened. You need to be completely honest with yourself on why it happened.
It is easy to pull out the Smartphone, turn on the laptop or find other forms of distraction. Most people would do anything to distract themselves and keep their eyes shut to the mistakes they have made.
However, if you don’t confront, you don’t learn. And if you don’t learn, then you are setting yourself up for failure again. Albert Einstein famously stated that it was insane to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different outcome. If you don’t derive a lesson out of mistakes and failures in life, then you are doomed to keep repeating them, whether you realise it or not.
“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” – Henry Ford
3. Don’t beat yourself up over a temporary setback
When you have experienced a setback, many of you may succumb to the feeling that you’ll always keep failing. It is easy to convince yourself that you are indeed a failure. Don’t let such destructive ideas or thoughts creep into your head. Instead, keep reminding yourself that just because you failed today, it doesn’t mean you’d fail the next time as well.
It is also important that you treat your failure as a passing phase. When you keep moving forward, focus on the right things, and keep learning. Perceiving the setback as a temporary phase rather than something permanent is vital to developing an optimistic attitude in life.
4. Focus on nurturing and improving yourself
Failures don’t discriminate, and it comes to everyone at some point. The trick lies in learning to deal with it and what you do about it that makes all the difference. In many cases, failure happens because a person wasn’t prepared, didn’t invest time on planning or was ill-equipped. It can also be because Lady Luck decided not to shower her favours.
Except for the last one, the rest of the issues can be fixed. Prepare a list of all the things that you think resulted in your failure. Start working on them one at a time. Do everything in your capacity to rectify, improve, resolve, and develop.
5. Find inspiration and support in abundance
Interacting with someone close can be more helpful than you think. You can also learn from people who have been through similar situations and have achieved what you hope to. Gain insights on how they managed to sail through the setbacks or low-points before and during the moment of success.
Or you can gain the motivation or enthusiasm by listening to someone else from an audiobook or podcast for maybe 30-60 minutes. It doesn’t have to be focused on your current setbacks. Change your mood and mindset back towards optimism again.
6. Adopt a constructive approach and learn from the adverse situation
Consider it as valuable feedback and take home something you can implement in the process of overcoming your failure. The following are some of the questions you need to ask yourself:
- What is the lesson for me?
- How can I rectify myself to avoid making the same mistake and do better next time?
- What can I do to enjoy guaranteed success?
You don’t need to rush through the process. Some of the answers may be immediate, while others might take an hour, a day or even a week to pop up. The significant thing is to start thinking about the situation from this perspective. Also, you need to be constructive about things rather than getting stuck with denial, negativity and apathy.
7. Stop mulling over and move on
Processing the situation and accepting it is the ideal way to deal with failures. Any individual who has experienced failures will know that it is quite easy to stay stuck in the loop of similar thoughts. In fact, this may go around and around for weeks or even months.
Now, in order to be free from this trap, the one habit that might help you is the set of questions like the ones shared above. You can also create a rough plan for how you wish to move forward from here. So, take some time to sit down and write them down.
“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill
8. Purge out all the negativity
Another impactful way to handle the emotional meltdown and the thoughts that emerge from experiencing failure is to purge out all the negativity. In order to let everything out, you need to confide in someone close to you. There are two ways to go about it: Engaging in a conversation with someone will allow you to see it from a different perspective. The person you talk to can assist you in grounding yourself in reality again and motivate you to look for a way forward.
Or you can simply vent about it while the other person who is listening can sort things out for you. He/she can help you accept what happened and boost your spirit by instilling a sense of hope.
The significant thing to remember is that while you can’t stop obstacles from appearing in life, you can devise smart ways to handle them. If you persevere, you can easily discover opportunities that have been waiting for you on the other side. Now, as you become more efficient at dealing with the failures, you will allow yourself to see the positive side in even the toughest of scenarios.
How Stress Can Actually Improve the Quality of Your Life
Naturally, those of us who experience less stress in our lives are more likely to succeed. So, it’s important that you learn how to reduce your daily level of stress, right? Maybe not. Recent research has shown the common wisdom about stress might be dangerously inaccurate. Psychologists tracked the health of 30,000 adults in the United States over an 8-year period. Participants were asked two important questions:
1. “How much stress have you experienced in the last year?”
2. “Do you believe stress is harmful to your health?” (more…)
The Truth About the Law of Attraction
When we want something, we generally imagine the form it will take when it manifests. If we’re not careful, however, we can find ourselves attached more to the imagined form than the actual desired outcome. This is like placing an online order and expecting it to come in a blue box shipped by UPS. If we then receive a red box delivered by FedEx, we might not realize that it’s what we ordered, and never even open it!
For example, most of us say that we want money, but when money comes in the form of a free coffee or a gift or a discount, we don’t see it for what it is. We overlook it, and maybe we even say “No, thanks” and decline the gift which is, in one way or another, still money. In doing so, we fail to appreciate the value of the discount, the gift, or the freebie. If it isn’t cash being handed to us, we don’t see it as a manifestation of our desire.
The law of attraction is a funny thing.
It is much more complex and much more intricate than what it seems to be and yet, at the same time, it’s so very simple: We always get what we want. We always receive more of the energy at which we vibrate. Always.
However, if we’re acting from the energy of “I don’t deserve it” or “I don’t think I’m worthy,” then whatever it is that we receive will be negated and essentially unseen. On the other hand, if we are open, observant, and maintaining an abundance mindset, we will receive our request on numerous levels and from plentiful sources!
“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill
This is because we “place our order” not only through our words, but through our actions, our beliefs, and our thoughts.
Last month, I was open to receiving a new client. I didn’t know how it would happen, but I’d set my intention: I was going to get a new client. That night, out of nowhere, I got a message from an old student of mine. She was looking to hire me again as her coach for the upcoming college entrance exams in the U.S. But wait! I didn’t want an entrance exam client.
What I actually wanted was to get life and business coaching clients. This student was my “red box from Fed Ex.” I wanted to decline at first, but as I was about to reply, something made me stop. I asked myself, “Why am I rejecting this?”
This student is an amazing client. She pays on time. She’s not needy. She does her part. Best of all? She doesn’t short-change me. So I said yes, because I realized that the Universe was simply responding to the essence of my desire.
You see, my “Big Why” in everything I do has always been to facilitate an accelerated personal and business growth for my clients, and this student fit the bill in every way. She wanted the personal growth, she was ready to go all in and she reached out to me.
It didn’t look like the package I was expecting so I didn’t recognize it at first—and I nearly turned it away—but she was the perfect answer to my request.
Serving people like her has always been a driving force in my life.
The Universe knows that. It also knew that I wanted a client asap so that I could re-invest the money into my business, so it responded in the most ideal way… but in an unexpected form. And I came so close to missing it!
How many times have I missed other opportunities like this? How many times have I dismissed a “red box” because it wasn’t “blue?” I’ll never know. But I do know that, had I not stopped myself from sending a “No, thanks,” I would have felt as though the Universe wasn’t listening.
That’s the thing: the Universe is always listening.
The more open we are in receiving, the more we thrive. The more open our energy is, the greater the possibilities. Don’t just return that red box to the post office and keep waiting on a blue one. Ask yourself, first and foremost, if what you’re receiving at the moment matches up with your underlying desire.
See yourself living in abundance and you will attract it.” – Rhonda Byrne
The key is to be willing to receive anything and everything. How? Keep on reading1
1. Get clear on your “underlying desire.”
Identify exactly what it is that you really want—in my case, it was an ideal client (underlying) as opposed to a coaching client (surface)—and focus on that. Clear out all the mental noise and static that clouds your awareness.
2. Be flexible
Keep your eyes and mind open for anything that fits the description. When you ask for money, recognize that free coffee for what it is: $3 you were going to spend anyway, that can now remain in your pocket. Every penny on the ground, every coupon, it’s all money.
3. Keep an attitude of gratitude.
The more you appreciate what you have, the more that comes your way. Your grateful mindset opens the energetic door for more to flow your way, because “where attention goes, energy flows.” The more you focus on the things you want, the more you will draw them into your experience.
Remember, that the Universe responds to our requests in whatever way fits best within the big picture.
It’s a picture so big that we couldn’t possibly begin to see how it comes together. Trust it. Know that when you ask, you will receive. It may not come in the form you anticipate, but always in a form that responds to your underlying desire. You just have to be ready to see it.
7 Simple Ways to Master Your Emotions When Making Decisions
A lot of people have big regrets when lying on their deathbed. These regrets are often related to bad decisions or decisions not taken. Thus, as it turns out, decision-making is dependent on great self-confidence. A person who has confidence in their decisions has an easier time making them.
Emotions also play a big role in all of this. This is a debate that has confronted two great thinkers. According to Descartes, “decisions are the product of the rational mind.” In other words, decision-making is essentially based on facts and mathematics.
But this thesis was refuted and proven to be wrong by Antonio Damasio in one of his works called “The Error of Descartes”. This was partly based on the story of Elliott, a kid that was very smart, who had above average rational capabilities, but incapable of making a decision, after a surgery to remove a brain tumor on the surface of his frontal lobes. After all his work in that matter, he concludes that a person who is incapable of emotion is incapable of making the most rational decisions.
The management of emotions is therefore completely inherent to good decision making, especially when making the most important decisions. To this end, here are 7 tips to put into practice to really master your emotions thus making the best decisions possible and never regreting them.
1. Take a step back
You must learn to take the time to identify and understand your emotions. Since physical reactions are emotionally related, also take the time to detect the reactions you have to some of your emotions. To be able to take the distance necessary to make decisions, it’s important to refer to your prefrontal cortex. This is the area of the brain responsible for reasoning. To do so you need to put yourself in a stress-free environment for a few minutes.
The best way to do this is to learn to breathe deeply. This will allow activating your prefrontal cortex again, therefore, to have better control of your emotions so you do not react to them, let alone to the event that causes these emotions. Do this exercise for at least 15 minutes. It’s amazing how you can train yourself never to react, no matter what the situation. Ideally, let at least 24 hours go by before responding to a situation that would normally cause tension.
3. Pay attention
Once you are in the prefrontal cortex, put one hand on your abdomen, at the level of your intestines, and the other hand on your heart, and take the time to listen. These two parts of the body are the two major centers of vibrations and emotions. This is why it’s important to listen and pay attention to them.
The purpose of this exercise is to become aware of your gut and heart. What you need to remember is that the only person you need to trust is yourself. By practicing this exercise, one thing will become very clear: what the emotion you feel seeks to convey to you about the decision you have to make.
Since everything is energy, first make sure that the vibration of the decision you are about to make and that of your heart and gut are in sync. You will then know whether to go ahead with your decision or reject it based on whether you feel serenity or heaviness.
4. Discern untruths
It is important to know whether your nervousness is the result of an untruth you’ve told yourself. These can corrupt the vibrations that should help you make the right decision. You have to throw out all of these untruths and come to the decision-making without any filter. Stop thinking that you’re unlucky, that you’re in a bad situation, that your life is a failure, or that you are a victim.
5. Become aware of your emotions instead of avoiding them
To become aware of your emotions, you must learn to coach yourself. Ask yourself questions: How did you feel the last time you had to ask these types of questions? What did you get in return? Rename what you felt and the result you obtained from what you decided to do. You will thus be much better at assimilating, understanding, and welcoming your emotions.
6. Be as present as possible
There is no point in focusing on the big events surrounding the decision you want to make. Concentrate instead on the present moment, without analyzing the events. Judge based on emotions rather than the event. By being more present, you will be better able to listen to your emotions and feel them.
7. Make your emotions your allies
Each of your emotions speaks to you through the physical and physiological reactions that they generate in you. Look to the weight of their impact on you as an indicator. Only by listening to them, using them, and managing them can you manage your emotions.
Habit comes with practice. With time, these 7 points will become much more natural and will become automatic. You will make better decisions for yourself. This is one of the best ways to not end up with one of the big regrets.
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