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What Everyone Should Know at 20: Life Lessons That Nobody Teaches You

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Channing Tatum

After embarking on a year-long spiritual journey, reflecting on my life, and reading the works of some of the world’s most influential thought leaders, I have compiled a list of twelve ideas that will make life a lot easier and more fulfilling if practiced in your 20’s and beyond. During my time as a hotel desk clerk, I had the opportunity to interview dozens of strangers (some over age 65) about their biggest lessons in life. Some were truck drivers. Some were war veterans. Some were cancer patients. These are their life lessons.

These are the 12 things you should know (but probably won’t do) in your 20’s.

 

 

12 Life Lessons For Those Living In Their 20’s

 

1. Relax

Slow down. Take a deep breath. Don’t worry about the future, prepare for it. Life is lived in the present.

If you keep going at this pace, one day you’ll wake up and be 30!

 

2. Learn to love yourself now

You’ll never be younger, more attractive, more energetic, or more carefree than you are today.

Don’t waste your time being self-conscious. You’re hot! Enjoy it.

 

3. Take care of your body

You’re going to regret all of your smoking, drinking, and unhealthy eating habits when you’re older. I know what you’re thinking: “You’ve got to die from something, right?”, Wrong! I know that you secretly think you are going to die suddenly at around age 45 before you have to deal with your mistakes. I know you don’t really believe that you are going to live until age 60, and you may not, but what if you do?

The average person who reaches age 60 lives to be age 82. Don’t spend the last 20 years of your life in misery!

 

4. Stop caring about what other people think

Ninety percent of them, you’ll never see again. Ninety-nine percent of the remaining ten percent won’t even cry at your funeral! If everyone lived their truth, no one would have to pretend.

 

5. Follow your instincts

Gain the courage to always do what you truly desire versus what everyone else expects of you.

Trust your inner voice, it’s always right.

 

6. Vulnerability is not weakness: it is strength

Tell your friends how much you love them. Give a speech in front of a large audience. Have an intimate conversation with your significant other. Allow yourself to be seen.

Being vulnerable is the only way to truly connect with others, and that is truly what we all want.

 

7. Happiness comes from within

Regardless of your circumstances, e.g., homelessness, death of a loved one, loss of a job, etc., you can always choose happiness. It is not dependent upon external factors. Embrace the uncertainty of life. The way to overcome fear of change is to eliminate your desire for things to remain the same.

Life would be boring if you always knew what to expect.

 

8. Funerals are pointless

Appreciate your loved ones while they are alive. You don’t have to say “goodbye” when they’re gone if you’ve said “hi” while they were here.

 

9. Invest your money

Invest in yourself. Invest in your knowledge, your skills, your experiences, and your personal relationships. Purchase assets that will produce even more money for you in the future. Save for retirement. All of those designer clothes, frappé mochas, and movie tickets won’t help you when you’re old and broke.

The time value of money is your best friend. Don’t ruin the relationship.

 

10. Have a solid plan

Figure out what you really, really want and don’t give up until you get it.

 

11. You have nothing to lose

You don’t have a mortgage. Odds are, you don’t have any children, if you are in your early 20’s. You’re already broke! Stop pretending like you really own anything in this life. You are free! And your time is running out.

Don’t spend it frivolously.

 

12. You will ignore everything on this list

Like most 20-somethings, you’ll just ignore the elders advice, make the same mistakes, and wish someone had told you earlier. Prove me wrong.

I dare you!

 

 

If you enjoyed these life lessons, please share this article with your friends. They probably won’t listen, but hey, at least you tried!

If you have any standout life lessons that you have come across, please share them in the comments below.

Thanks! 

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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