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(Infographic) The Top 10 Regrets In Life By Those About To Die

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

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Last year we shared with you The Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying. We were inspired by Bronnie Ware who originally created the article so we decided to interview a number of patients ourselves in palliative care units and nursing homes who are seeing their last days to share their regrets in life.

Their answers were highly memorable so we have decided to create an Infographic of ‘The Top 10 Regrets In Life By Those About To Die’ for the world to share and learn from, before it’s too late.

 

(Infographic) The Top 10 Regrets In Life By Those About To Die

The Top 10 Regrets In Life By Those About To Die Infographic

 

The Top 10 Regrets in Life By Those About to Die

 

1. “Never pursuing dreams and aspirations”

The number one regret we found that people have on their death beds is that they were never brave enough to pursue their dreams, but settled for what others expected of them. When they look back at their lives, they tend to recall their unreached goals and aspirations. They are often haunted by decisions that resulted in the lives they ended up with.

While you still have a lot of years to live, be sure to make some time for reaching your dreams. Start working toward your goals now; don’t keep putting things off until it’s too late.

 

2. “I worked too much and never made time for my family”

Excessive dedication to work causes a person to spend less time with their loved ones. Parents can even miss out on the lives of their children, because they spent their best years pursuing careers and making money.

Everybody needs to work to generate income, and money is necessary to sustain our lifestyles. But don’t ever sacrifice your family time just to make more money. It would do you good to determine what is really important. Do away with unnecessary expenses and things that only crowd your life – this will make room for improved relationships and better lifestyle choices.

 

3. “I should have made more time for my friends”

When health and youth have faded, people realize what are truly valuable – they find that all their income and achievements amount to nothing in the end. What really matters in those last few moments are the people who are dear to them. At that time, they tend to miss their friends.

It’s so easy to get lost in the daily grind that you forget to take care of your relationships. If you don’t intentionally stay in touch, you may lose contact with your friends through the years.

 

4. “I should have said ‘I Love You’ a lot more”

The importance of love becomes more pronounced towards the end of life. At this time, unreturned of love will also be more painful.

It can be hard to tell someone that you love them, especially if you fear rejection. But not being able to express those feelings will leave an unsettled need in you, and possibly affect all future relationships. If you are afraid of getting hurt, remember that it’s better to make your love known than to spend the rest of your life dwelling on what could have been.

 

5. “I should have spoken my mind instead of holding back and resenting things”

A lot of people choose not to confront those who offend them, thinking that this would keep things civil. In truth, suppressing anger breeds bitterness, which leads to various diseases. Harboring bitterness also makes you emotionally crippled and prevents you from fulfilling your true potential.

If you want to have healthy relationships, honesty and confrontation are necessary. The common misconception about confrontation is that it creates division. In reality, if it’s done kindly and constructively, confrontation deepens mutual respect and understanding. When you express negative emotions properly, it also allows you to let go of the resentment so you don’t have to carry it for the rest of your life.

 

6. “I should have been the bigger person and resolved my conflicts”

A lot of times, death beds and funerals are more miserable because of broken relationships that were never restored. Relationships are ruined when misunderstandings are not dealt with immediately; this may result in a lifetime of hostility.

Conflicts are a part of life; you can’t avoid them, but you should never let your anger last for more than a day. Choose to forgive. Right the wrongs that you can, while you can.

 

7. “I wish I had children”

As people age, they often feel lonely and long for the company of their sons and daughters. Those who never had children often have regrets about having no one to comfort them or inherit their legacy.

With today’s modern thinking, kids may be viewed as inconveniences or hindrances to pursuing your goals. But keep in mind that your children will be the ones to show you love when you are old. They will also be the ones to whom you will entrust everything you’ve worked hard for after you’re gone.

 

8. “I should have saved more money for my retirement”

Failing to plan for the retirement years leaves people destitute in their old age. When that happens, their last moments on earth can be very difficult and miserable.

While you are young, you might not yet grasp the reality of retirement, but it’s important to make a plan for yourself. Be careful not to spend too much on things you think you need now; think about providing a comfortable life for yourself in the future.

 

9. “Not having the courage to live truthfully”

Looking back, people would wonder whether things would have been better if they were truly honest about who they really are. They think about the distress they caused themselves and others by pretending to be someone they’re not. You will naturally have concerns about whether people would reject you or accept you if you came clean; you might find it easier to compromise yourself just to be liked or loved. There are some situations when things need to be kept hidden, but honesty is generally admired. If you are reviled for who you really are, then that’s how you can determine the people who really love you. If you don’t yet have the courage to be truthful to others, you can start being truthful to yourself.

 

10. “Happiness is always a choice, I wish I knew that earlier”

People rarely realize that they can choose to be happy. It’s so easy to play the victim of circumstance and prevent yourself from moving on in your life. You tend to settle for mediocrity because it’s familiar; you pretend to be content because you’re too afraid to explore.

Make a choice to have a happy life. Be unafraid of change, and don’t worry about what others think of you. Learn to relax and appreciate the good things.

 

Article By Addicted2Success.com

I am the the Founder of Addicted2Success.com and I am so grateful you're here to be part of this awesome community. I love connecting with people who have a passion for Entrepreneurship, Self Development & Achieving Success. I started this website with the intention of educating and inspiring likeminded people to always strive for success no matter what their circumstances. I'm proud to say through my podcast and through this website we have impacted over 100 million lives in the last 6 and a half years.

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32 Comments

32 Comments

  1. paul

    Apr 23, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    having children adds meaning to life , whats the point of having a lot in terms of material value when yull only leave them behind when yu die . children are your legacy

  2. Hikmat Hanna

    Jan 2, 2014 at 7:54 pm

    Having kids isn’t about whether or not they do anything for you. It’s about the the life process of giving love and helping another human being grow and mature into a beautiful person and all the joys and challenges that go with it. Having kids isn’t about what they do for you.

  3. Waheedah

    May 2, 2013 at 5:49 pm

    I am a widow and I saw so many regrets in husbands eyes, wished he had been there more and cried when he realised he was not going to see his boys become what he had wished for. Since then I think of death every second. A friend asked me why I love my boys, I felt it was stupid u ”ve got to love yr kids. That’s what u were made for as soon as u made the decision to have children, give all and expect little. Them being happy, kind and basically doing the right thing makes it all worthwhile.

  4. Russell

    Mar 9, 2013 at 9:00 pm

    Develop Charity, kindness, and giving. These 3 will leave you with a tangible joy few people find. Charity will help you appreciate all people and love them for who they are and not what you think they are. Kindness will return to you 100 fold. Giving will help you forget your own troubles, will bless others, will lift you, and what you give will come back to you 1000 times more. These are simple laws of the universe just like the law of gravity or the law of thermal dynamics. Once a person can live by simple laws of the universe they will die with little regrets!

  5. june

    Oct 10, 2012 at 2:12 am

    Errr 5 I mean lol.

  6. june

    Oct 10, 2012 at 2:11 am

    Agree with 7 except not realistic because confrontation requires the person being confronted to be willing to listen also. Unfortunately that’s not always the case.

  7. G

    Sep 6, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    Number 7 is stupid…Having kids is absolutely no guarantee that they will be there when you need them or that they will love you. There is also the fillers called nieces and nephews too… Im sure that 99% of the time they do love you and they will be there but you should have kids just so that there will be “somene there to take care of me and love me”..that in itself is stupid. Sadly, the way some of these generations are, our generation will die alone anyway because they were raised to be selfish and think of themselves anyway. Seen it happen.

    • African

      Sep 7, 2012 at 5:54 am

      I see where you are coming from and you’re right – it’s never a guarantee. But it’s also not a guarantee those nephew and niece ‘fillers’ will be there either … Also, we were all once kids no? Otherwise we wouldn’t be here talking. this means someone gave us the chance to be a ‘nuisance’ and ‘hindrance’ to them so that one day we can grow up and make something of ourselves – why not return the favour? My 2 cents though …

    • Nancy

      Apr 26, 2013 at 3:31 am

      Thank you so much for posting this! I feel it is very selfish to have children so they can “take care” of me when I’m on my deathbed. It is a personal and financial decision, not too mention having the right partner to create them with. If you are going to have children, raise them to be kind, hardworking, honest and compassionate. As far as inheritance and a legacy that will go to their children…if someone out there doesn’t have anyone to leave their inheritance to…I am available! lol

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Life

How to Fight Off Burnout With a Workout

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A lot of entrepreneurs complain about burnout and its buddies; migraines, lack of sleep, uneasiness, anxiety, and clouded thinking. When we are under stress and fatigue, almost to a point when we would just like to fall into a deep sleep and skip work for 48 hours, our mind does not function properly. In fact, here’s an experiment – think about your latest bad decisions in business, and think about your last friction with a co-worker, employee, or a boss.

Don’t you credit that experience to “a bad day”? And most likely, you were really tired or stressed that day, right? Now, it doesn’t matter if we only slept two hours that day or we woke up on the wrong side of the bed that morning, some days are just bad. You feel tired, you don’t have time for self-reflection, there’s just so many things that need to be done.

However, what if there’s a little hack you can do so that you can increase the probability of a good work day? Would you do it? Well, here it is – get moving. You’re tired? Go hit the pool. Stressed out? Book a yoga class. Need a break from the concrete jungle? Invite your friends for a round of beach volleyball this weekend. The thing is, for you to beat burnout and exhaustion, you can tap into your reserve energy, and use it to produce more. Sound counterintuitive? We don’t blame you for thinking that, but several studies have proven that this works.

Tackling the science

A study done at the University of British Columbia found that cardio exercises like aerobics, dance, or martial arts boosts your hippocampus size. This is the part of the brain that facilitates knowledge transfer, memory, and emotional regulation. So whatever it is that you do for work or whatever business you’re in, exercise will absolutely improve your mind’s disposition while you’re doing it.

Regular exercise also encourages better sleep, which leads to a clearer mind and a healthier disposition. As you know, when you’re sleep deprived, you are prone to mistakes, bad judgment, and overly sensitive feelings. Reduced stress and anxiety have also been reported to be a positive effect of regular exercise and good sleep.

“Strength does not come from the physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” – Ghandi

Real life business action stars weigh in

Richard Branson, a known entrepreneur, enjoys a wide range of activities for his daily exercise. From kitesurfing, to tennis, to yoga, he makes sure he inserts ample exercise hours to his days. He varies his daily activities and claims that it adds hours of productivity to him.

Jack Dorsey, CEO and co-founder of Twitter and Square, admits to following a tight schedule for exercise. He clocks in gym time, runs at least five kilometers daily, and also practices yoga. He believes it’s integral to how he does business and how he can function as a high performance entrepreneur. And since he owns two high – profile tech businesses, we can only imagine how busy his days get, yet, there’s really no excuse to not get active!

Where you can start

According to experts, the key here is to pick a physical activity that you actually enjoy. Something that you will look forward to doing. The first few days of your new lifestyle will be dedicated to building the habit rather than trying to lose weight or build muscle.

Another easy technique is including your loved ones or your colleagues in these activities. Since you are also looking forward to spending time with them and helping them become healthier, this is a good plus.

“Strive for progress, not perfection.”

Lastly, record and chart your experience. Keep track of the time you spend exercising; how soon you feel tired at work, whether you still get migraines, difficulty of sleeping, or find yourself bingeing…whatever your bad habits are before, see how exercise can change a lot of things for you.

Then, also keep a separate record or diary for how it helped your business. Did you see a drastic jump in productivity? Better time management? Better mood? Better decision making? Monitor it so you can appreciate it better. This way, you feel motivated to keep the habit and can even share your experience to your fellow entrepreneurs!

To many people, exercise is a way to get the body they want so they can look good and feel good at the same time. The thing is, constant correct physical activity, is just another way for you to reward yourself for building positive habits. Plus, now that you know it’s also a key factor to being successful in business, we’re pretty sure you’re never second-guessing this anymore. Now, are you ready to build a real empire? Then build the strength to create it first.

How do you cool off after a stressful experience? Comment below!

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Life

6 Positive Side Effects of Being Grateful

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Unless you’ve been living on a remote tropical island (and during recent turbulent times you may have been tempted to escape there), you have seen the growing evidence about the huge positive impact gratitude has on your health. As little as five minutes a day of focused gratitude, the no-cost quality of life booster, contributes to impressive improvements not only in emotional health, but also in physical, social, and spiritual health.

Some may ask, “what is gratitude?” Gratitude is a different emotion from happiness because it is most often a reaction to another individual’s generosity. The trigger, according to science, is to receive a message from someone else, interpret it as beneficial to yourself, and experience thankfulness.

Repeatedly, studies have shown that performing simple gratitude exercises, like keeping a gratitude diary or writing letters of thanks, can produce a range of impressive health benefits that often continue well after the expressions of gratitude are finished.

Ready to boost all your dimensions with some thank you’s? Here are 6 positive side effects of being grateful:

1. Physical Benefits

People who experience and express gratitude report feeling healthier than other people and report fewer aches and pains. This positive attitude creates a generous snowball of good health since thankful people are also more likely to exercise more often and visit their doctor regularly, which is likely to contribute to further longevity. The health benefits of a daily gratitude journal have been proven to decrease depression and anxiety, as well as improve cardiovascular function in heart patients.

A free health booster for us all? Grab a pen before bed and spend a mere 15 minutes jotting down what you are grateful for that day, and odds are you will sleep better and longer. That increases not only your quality but also potentially the quantity of your life.

2. Adds To Your Emotional Bank Account Balance

The math of your emotional bank account is pretty simple: positive emotions contribute, negative emotions withdraw. More positive + less negative = Higher emotional balance. Research shows that when it comes to your emotional bank account, gratitude is like a generous grandma who just can’t stop giving, and defends her sweet one against all negative withdrawals.

The simple act of writing a thank-you note to someone who has blessed you produces profound good feelings, empathy, and optimism. Remembering the moment that inspired the thank you card, in turn, produces even more positive emotions, a sort of cascading happiness effect.

Not only does gratitude increase well-being and happiness, it also shuts down emotional withdrawals by decreasing toxic emotions such as envy, resentment, frustration, guilt, and regret. No wonder small daily deposits of gratitude can have a compounding effect on your emotional bank account. So, go write grandma that thank you note you’ve been meaning to send. She’s earned your interest!

“Gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves, and spend without fear of bankruptcy.” – Fred De Witt Van Amburgh

3. Builds Stronger Relationships

Grateful people appear warm and responsive, which increases their trust in others and influences them to approach and bond with their benefactors. Researchers refer to this as the “broaden-and-build theory” of positive emotions, where positive feelings encourage us to seek out new experiences, people, and activities. This comfort zone expansion increases the odds of finding high-quality relationship partners.

Expressions of thanks can also reinforce the bonds of current relationships, through the give-and-take of mutual gratitude. This immediate effect of greater joy contributes to long-term social success, so much that the person receiving gratitude reaps rewards in personal well-being and relationship satisfaction up to six months after the deliberate gratitude expression. That’s a powerful social benefit!

4. Better Work Environment

The impact of gratitude can even improve your work environment. A simple daily practice of reflecting on the parts of your job you are grateful for has been proven to positively impact your productivity, goal achievement, decision-making and networking skills.

Not only can being thankful help you manage your job responsibilities more effectively, but it also reduces job-related stress and burnout. Knowing this, it’s not hard to see how small doses of thankfulness could result in increased job satisfaction, but also a potential promotion, when you play your thank you cards right!

5. Fills Your Spirit

The spiritual blessings of counting your blessings are profound. Being grateful for what you have improves your self-esteem, which is an essential component to optimal performance and achieving your life purpose.

Recent research on types of gratitude have important significance for not only individuals but society as a whole. Study participants who had reflected on and expressed gratitude for experiences rather than material purchases, were significantly more generous to others and kept less for themselves than did those in the group who reflected on possessions.

One explanation, according to scientists, is that when people feel closer to other humans, they might treat others better. By structuring community experiences and events that promote social and spiritual connection, organizers can encourage more future altruistic behavior, which benefits us all.

“It is impossible to feel grateful and depressed in the same moment.” – Naomi Williams

6. Brain Power

Still skeptical? Even brain scans, hard scientific data, are confirming the astonishing impact of gratitude in 3 fascinating ways. A brain experiencing gratitude toward a specific person is flooded with feel-good hormones which makes you more inclined to desire that feeling again and make you feel attached to others at the same time.

Brain scans show gratitude also does something quite peculiar: it activates the hypothalamus.  Being thankful actually makes our metabolism, hunger and other natural bodily functions work more efficiently.

Perhaps most significantly during this high-stress era, gratitude increases mental strength. Remembering all you have to be thankful for, even during the most tragic times of your life, creates resilience and reduces Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

So, there you have it. That “Attitude of Gratitude” isn’t a platitude…it’s a health booster of highest magnitude!

What are you most grateful for today? Let us know in the comments below!

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Life

6 Proven Methods to Help You Take Back Your Daily Power

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Everyday, you wake up ready to take on the world. In your mind, you’re prepared for anything that comes your way, however  there are distractions that come along throughout the day. Each distraction takes away a little bit of your daily power, and eventually, you become numb to your intention of proactively having an awesome day. You’re simply out of mental energy because little negative distractions started to add up and your day goes down the drain by noon.

To stay focused on making your goals happen, here are 6 solutions to help you stop giving away your daily power:

1. Take your attention away from the distraction

It’s not a distraction if you don’t pay attention to it. Normally, when something happens, you automatically turn your focus to what’s going on. You’re now caught up in it and you want to see it through to the end. After 15 minutes, you then realize, “Where did the time go?” If you let daily distractions get the best of you, it will snowball into an unproductive day.

2. Keep moving forward

This is the rule for everything. No matter what happens or what gets in your way, keep moving forward. Your goal is to get things done and it won’t get done if you stop and complain about it. It’s so easy to give away your daily power to something that doesn’t even matter so don’t allow little things to stop you from making big moves. If it’s not helping you with your work, it’s not worth stopping to discuss and criticize. Keep moving forward.

“You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action.” – Tony Robbins

3. Leave the arguments to other people

People who argue waste a ton of time. Unless it’s your job to find others to argue with, it’s useless. You build up your emotions, trying to prove you’re right to someone who probably doesn’t really care. After you’re into your feelings, it’s hard to come back down and concentrate on what you were doing.

There are some people out there who literally argue for sport. They will pick an argument just to see the other person get worked up. Again, this is a real time waster and can mentally drain you. You could be using that energy towards making more important moves and decisions. Learn to bypass the arguments.

4. Just say no

When you’re doing your work, you will find that people will stop by and start a conversation. It’s like there’s a sign on your head that says, “I’m really deep into what I’m doing – please interrupt me.” Kindly tell that person that you can talk with them later, just not right now.

Also, if you’re invited to a party or a get-together that you really don’t want to go to, just say no. You may have more important things to accomplish and you honestly need that time to focus. Don’t feel like you’re obligated to go, just because they asked. An invitation allows you to say yes or no. Tell them you’ll make it next time.

“Learn to say no without explaining yourself.”

5. Stop worrying about what you can’t control

Things happen out of our control, yet that doesn’t mean you should take the time to complain about it. It means you should figure out a way to get around it and proceed with what you were doing in the first place. Accept the fact that it happened.

Unless you can change what happened, leave it alone and move on with your life. Some people get stuck on what happened and they don’t know how to get over it and move on. Focus your time and energy on what you can control. Make that happen.

6. Get over your emotions

Your emotions can take away a tremendous amount of your daily power. It sounds mean, but there should be a scheduled time when you put your emotions aside in order to work. You will not work effectively if you are emotional. Unless you’re a songwriter and you just broke up with your girlfriend, then it’s fine. That’s actually part of your work, because you’ll end up writing a hit song.

It’s the opposite for just about everything else. It’s not the right time to deal with emotions when your finger is on the red button and your cat just died. Devote some time to it, but not when you’re in the process of saving the world.

There are many ways small things can take away your daily power, but it doesn’t have to be that way. You are in control of your mind and your thoughts. If you are conscious enough to recognize when it’s happening, you can do something about it. Your day will be more productive and your daily power will be infinite.

How do you stay productive throughout the day? Let us know your advice in the comments below!

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Life

10 Simple Ways You Can Bounce Back in Life After Failure

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You’ve just failed to achieve something that you have aspired for. Maybe it’s a test, or a job, or even love. You’re now at a juncture, with two paths for you to consider: Sit and moan about it, but do nothing to change or bounce back. The reason you are reading this itself indicates that you are part of the latter category.

Here are 10 simple ways to bounce back in life no matter the situation:

1. I can do it and I will

This is, beyond doubt, the first thing you need to tell yourself every single day. Maybe even the first thing every single morning. Waking up reinvigorated, reinforce yourself ,“It’s a brand new day. There is so much for me to do, and now is the time. I can neither change my past, nor my future, but I shall act today and shape my future.”

2. Chalk out your plan

For anything that you want to achieve, be it a skill, passing a test, getting a job, losing weight or learning to drive, you need a plan. Chalking out this plan is your next step. It has to be based on your goal. Talk to experts, refer to relevant resources and read books about the goals that you want to accomplish. Come up with a plan as per your timeline and goals, the resources that you possess, and most importantly, your strengths.

“Success is the result of perfection, hard work, learning from failure, loyalty, and persistence.” – Colin Powell

3. Modularise your goal

Breaking down a significant task into smaller chunks always helps. It fosters self-belief and keeps the next goal in sight. Keep up your plan for a week and then break it down further to a daily level. Let’s say your goal is running a 5K marathon in the next month. Then your plan could look something like this:

  • 1st week – run 3 times a week.
  • 2nd week – run every day with short water breaks after every 8 /10 minutes.
  • 3rd week – Work on managing my breath.
  • 4th week – Practice and more practice (there’s no substitute for dedication).
  • D Day – Achieve what you’ve worked so hard for!

4. Keep track of your goal

The biggest mistake you could make is to think you have time. Before you realize it, all your time is gone. Unfortunately, time is the one resource we cannot conserve. Procrastination is addictive, and you will get better at it with each day that passes. Your backlog of tasks will keep growing each day, and to such an extent that one day, it seems unachievable and you have to abandon it. Bhagavad Geeta (an ancient scripture on how to live life) says – “your soul is your greatest friend as well as your biggest enemy. The real doer is your mind. Make it a habit to work to finish your target for the day. This becomes the base of building your confidence and belief in self.”

5. Celebrate your small wins

Reward yourself for sticking to your plan and achieving progress day by day. Getting yourself on the track is easier than keeping yourself there. Check your progress on a periodic basis. You may not be exactly where you planned yourself to be but, as long as you are within 10% of your planned progress, you’re good. Rewarding yourself for the progress made gives you the confidence and assurance to say, “I have made it till here and I have been consistent in my progress. I will make it.”

6. Be that deaf frog

Many of you would have heard about the story of the frog which climbed to the treetop while most of the other frogs kept shouting that it was impossible to reach the tree top. The reason it was able to reach the top was that it was deaf. So it couldn’t listen to all the negative comments, it was only focused on reaching its goal.

This applies to anyone, keeping one’s mind clean and positive is very important. If you keep listening to what people around you say and seek their approval, then you will never be able to progress. Our mind uses the sense organs to receive information and process it.

What we see, hear and whom we choose to be around is a major contributor to our thoughts. Hence, observing who you spend time with, is very important to keep you on your path. It’s always good to have friends whose company keeps you motivated.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” – Henry Ford

7. Avoid distractions, keep your eyes set on the goal

The formula for success in this age is the ability to focus and cut down on distractions, since all of us are force fed information every minute via social media and all the other channels. However, the authenticity and relevance of all this information are a huge question mark. All the media have very catchy or sensational titles to grab your attention.

This reduces our attention and memory span hugely. Continuing from the previous point, what you take inside determines your thoughts. Keep a watch on how you are spending your extra time. Keeping one limited on social media and Whatsapp is essential for success. Better not to be there at all, but the next best option is to limit yourself.

The question then arises, how else do I relax? Go for a walk, talk to your friends, or even go play outdoors. Do something that gives you happiness. You may feel left out, not knowing what’s happening in the world outside during the initial days, but there is nothing worth knowing that appears exclusively on social media. Eventually, you will get to know what’s important to you.

8. Don’t compare yourself to others

Your life is yours and you can never swap it with anyone else. Remember, the best of resources may not necessarily bring the best results, it’s the ones with the best attitude, and motivated minds that come up with the best results. You are the master of your life and no one else can make it better other than you.

9. Work on your weaknesses don’t run away from them

Everyone is unique and has their own set of strengths. Some may know how to portray their strengths in a better way, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have any strengths. See what you are good at and leverage on that. Work on your weak areas with more dedication to improve it. Running away from the problem will only make it bigger, and it is better to confront it and deal with it once and for all.

10. Reflect on where you started and how far have you come

Finally, reflect on where you started and how far you have come. It’s amazing to see what hurdles you have crossed to get where you are today. It’s by your determination and dedicated effort you have come here, and it doesn’t happen by luck or accident. Waiting for things to happen hasn’t brought you here, your efforts have. Ultimately, you will achieve your goal and your dream will become a positive reality. There is no better day than today to start your journey. Stay happy and positive, that’s a great vitamin for your mind.

How do you best recover from failure? Comment below!

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5 Daily Habits to Remain Highly Motivated

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While some of us can naturally maintain a relatively high constant level of motivation, others find it more difficult. This is actually a normal fact of life. After all, the beauty and richness of life is in our attempt to reconcile and manage our different states. (more…)

My name is Bachir Bastien. Being the sparkle that will ignite the fire of possibilities in as many people as possible is how I define myself. I was born and raised in Haiti by my mother. My life has been a struggle since conception. I decided that I was going to use my stories to empower others. These experiences may have been lemons, but I can use them to make sweet lemonade. This is what I have decided to do. That became my life purpose. My first name Bachir means messenger of good news in Arabic; I have been doing just that for the past two years here in Taiwan through articles, workshops, seminars and speeches. I have seen students changing behaviors, increase in confidence, watched students conquer stage fright, etc. This in turn gives me the unwavering certitude that I can empower more people.

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32 Comments

32 Comments

  1. paul

    Apr 23, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    having children adds meaning to life , whats the point of having a lot in terms of material value when yull only leave them behind when yu die . children are your legacy

  2. Hikmat Hanna

    Jan 2, 2014 at 7:54 pm

    Having kids isn’t about whether or not they do anything for you. It’s about the the life process of giving love and helping another human being grow and mature into a beautiful person and all the joys and challenges that go with it. Having kids isn’t about what they do for you.

  3. Waheedah

    May 2, 2013 at 5:49 pm

    I am a widow and I saw so many regrets in husbands eyes, wished he had been there more and cried when he realised he was not going to see his boys become what he had wished for. Since then I think of death every second. A friend asked me why I love my boys, I felt it was stupid u ”ve got to love yr kids. That’s what u were made for as soon as u made the decision to have children, give all and expect little. Them being happy, kind and basically doing the right thing makes it all worthwhile.

  4. Russell

    Mar 9, 2013 at 9:00 pm

    Develop Charity, kindness, and giving. These 3 will leave you with a tangible joy few people find. Charity will help you appreciate all people and love them for who they are and not what you think they are. Kindness will return to you 100 fold. Giving will help you forget your own troubles, will bless others, will lift you, and what you give will come back to you 1000 times more. These are simple laws of the universe just like the law of gravity or the law of thermal dynamics. Once a person can live by simple laws of the universe they will die with little regrets!

  5. june

    Oct 10, 2012 at 2:12 am

    Errr 5 I mean lol.

  6. june

    Oct 10, 2012 at 2:11 am

    Agree with 7 except not realistic because confrontation requires the person being confronted to be willing to listen also. Unfortunately that’s not always the case.

  7. G

    Sep 6, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    Number 7 is stupid…Having kids is absolutely no guarantee that they will be there when you need them or that they will love you. There is also the fillers called nieces and nephews too… Im sure that 99% of the time they do love you and they will be there but you should have kids just so that there will be “somene there to take care of me and love me”..that in itself is stupid. Sadly, the way some of these generations are, our generation will die alone anyway because they were raised to be selfish and think of themselves anyway. Seen it happen.

    • African

      Sep 7, 2012 at 5:54 am

      I see where you are coming from and you’re right – it’s never a guarantee. But it’s also not a guarantee those nephew and niece ‘fillers’ will be there either … Also, we were all once kids no? Otherwise we wouldn’t be here talking. this means someone gave us the chance to be a ‘nuisance’ and ‘hindrance’ to them so that one day we can grow up and make something of ourselves – why not return the favour? My 2 cents though …

    • Nancy

      Apr 26, 2013 at 3:31 am

      Thank you so much for posting this! I feel it is very selfish to have children so they can “take care” of me when I’m on my deathbed. It is a personal and financial decision, not too mention having the right partner to create them with. If you are going to have children, raise them to be kind, hardworking, honest and compassionate. As far as inheritance and a legacy that will go to their children…if someone out there doesn’t have anyone to leave their inheritance to…I am available! lol

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Life

How to Fight Off Burnout With a Workout

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A lot of entrepreneurs complain about burnout and its buddies; migraines, lack of sleep, uneasiness, anxiety, and clouded thinking. When we are under stress and fatigue, almost to a point when we would just like to fall into a deep sleep and skip work for 48 hours, our mind does not function properly. In fact, here’s an experiment – think about your latest bad decisions in business, and think about your last friction with a co-worker, employee, or a boss.

Don’t you credit that experience to “a bad day”? And most likely, you were really tired or stressed that day, right? Now, it doesn’t matter if we only slept two hours that day or we woke up on the wrong side of the bed that morning, some days are just bad. You feel tired, you don’t have time for self-reflection, there’s just so many things that need to be done.

However, what if there’s a little hack you can do so that you can increase the probability of a good work day? Would you do it? Well, here it is – get moving. You’re tired? Go hit the pool. Stressed out? Book a yoga class. Need a break from the concrete jungle? Invite your friends for a round of beach volleyball this weekend. The thing is, for you to beat burnout and exhaustion, you can tap into your reserve energy, and use it to produce more. Sound counterintuitive? We don’t blame you for thinking that, but several studies have proven that this works.

Tackling the science

A study done at the University of British Columbia found that cardio exercises like aerobics, dance, or martial arts boosts your hippocampus size. This is the part of the brain that facilitates knowledge transfer, memory, and emotional regulation. So whatever it is that you do for work or whatever business you’re in, exercise will absolutely improve your mind’s disposition while you’re doing it.

Regular exercise also encourages better sleep, which leads to a clearer mind and a healthier disposition. As you know, when you’re sleep deprived, you are prone to mistakes, bad judgment, and overly sensitive feelings. Reduced stress and anxiety have also been reported to be a positive effect of regular exercise and good sleep.

“Strength does not come from the physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” – Ghandi

Real life business action stars weigh in

Richard Branson, a known entrepreneur, enjoys a wide range of activities for his daily exercise. From kitesurfing, to tennis, to yoga, he makes sure he inserts ample exercise hours to his days. He varies his daily activities and claims that it adds hours of productivity to him.

Jack Dorsey, CEO and co-founder of Twitter and Square, admits to following a tight schedule for exercise. He clocks in gym time, runs at least five kilometers daily, and also practices yoga. He believes it’s integral to how he does business and how he can function as a high performance entrepreneur. And since he owns two high – profile tech businesses, we can only imagine how busy his days get, yet, there’s really no excuse to not get active!

Where you can start

According to experts, the key here is to pick a physical activity that you actually enjoy. Something that you will look forward to doing. The first few days of your new lifestyle will be dedicated to building the habit rather than trying to lose weight or build muscle.

Another easy technique is including your loved ones or your colleagues in these activities. Since you are also looking forward to spending time with them and helping them become healthier, this is a good plus.

“Strive for progress, not perfection.”

Lastly, record and chart your experience. Keep track of the time you spend exercising; how soon you feel tired at work, whether you still get migraines, difficulty of sleeping, or find yourself bingeing…whatever your bad habits are before, see how exercise can change a lot of things for you.

Then, also keep a separate record or diary for how it helped your business. Did you see a drastic jump in productivity? Better time management? Better mood? Better decision making? Monitor it so you can appreciate it better. This way, you feel motivated to keep the habit and can even share your experience to your fellow entrepreneurs!

To many people, exercise is a way to get the body they want so they can look good and feel good at the same time. The thing is, constant correct physical activity, is just another way for you to reward yourself for building positive habits. Plus, now that you know it’s also a key factor to being successful in business, we’re pretty sure you’re never second-guessing this anymore. Now, are you ready to build a real empire? Then build the strength to create it first.

How do you cool off after a stressful experience? Comment below!

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Life

6 Positive Side Effects of Being Grateful

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Unless you’ve been living on a remote tropical island (and during recent turbulent times you may have been tempted to escape there), you have seen the growing evidence about the huge positive impact gratitude has on your health. As little as five minutes a day of focused gratitude, the no-cost quality of life booster, contributes to impressive improvements not only in emotional health, but also in physical, social, and spiritual health.

Some may ask, “what is gratitude?” Gratitude is a different emotion from happiness because it is most often a reaction to another individual’s generosity. The trigger, according to science, is to receive a message from someone else, interpret it as beneficial to yourself, and experience thankfulness.

Repeatedly, studies have shown that performing simple gratitude exercises, like keeping a gratitude diary or writing letters of thanks, can produce a range of impressive health benefits that often continue well after the expressions of gratitude are finished.

Ready to boost all your dimensions with some thank you’s? Here are 6 positive side effects of being grateful:

1. Physical Benefits

People who experience and express gratitude report feeling healthier than other people and report fewer aches and pains. This positive attitude creates a generous snowball of good health since thankful people are also more likely to exercise more often and visit their doctor regularly, which is likely to contribute to further longevity. The health benefits of a daily gratitude journal have been proven to decrease depression and anxiety, as well as improve cardiovascular function in heart patients.

A free health booster for us all? Grab a pen before bed and spend a mere 15 minutes jotting down what you are grateful for that day, and odds are you will sleep better and longer. That increases not only your quality but also potentially the quantity of your life.

2. Adds To Your Emotional Bank Account Balance

The math of your emotional bank account is pretty simple: positive emotions contribute, negative emotions withdraw. More positive + less negative = Higher emotional balance. Research shows that when it comes to your emotional bank account, gratitude is like a generous grandma who just can’t stop giving, and defends her sweet one against all negative withdrawals.

The simple act of writing a thank-you note to someone who has blessed you produces profound good feelings, empathy, and optimism. Remembering the moment that inspired the thank you card, in turn, produces even more positive emotions, a sort of cascading happiness effect.

Not only does gratitude increase well-being and happiness, it also shuts down emotional withdrawals by decreasing toxic emotions such as envy, resentment, frustration, guilt, and regret. No wonder small daily deposits of gratitude can have a compounding effect on your emotional bank account. So, go write grandma that thank you note you’ve been meaning to send. She’s earned your interest!

“Gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves, and spend without fear of bankruptcy.” – Fred De Witt Van Amburgh

3. Builds Stronger Relationships

Grateful people appear warm and responsive, which increases their trust in others and influences them to approach and bond with their benefactors. Researchers refer to this as the “broaden-and-build theory” of positive emotions, where positive feelings encourage us to seek out new experiences, people, and activities. This comfort zone expansion increases the odds of finding high-quality relationship partners.

Expressions of thanks can also reinforce the bonds of current relationships, through the give-and-take of mutual gratitude. This immediate effect of greater joy contributes to long-term social success, so much that the person receiving gratitude reaps rewards in personal well-being and relationship satisfaction up to six months after the deliberate gratitude expression. That’s a powerful social benefit!

4. Better Work Environment

The impact of gratitude can even improve your work environment. A simple daily practice of reflecting on the parts of your job you are grateful for has been proven to positively impact your productivity, goal achievement, decision-making and networking skills.

Not only can being thankful help you manage your job responsibilities more effectively, but it also reduces job-related stress and burnout. Knowing this, it’s not hard to see how small doses of thankfulness could result in increased job satisfaction, but also a potential promotion, when you play your thank you cards right!

5. Fills Your Spirit

The spiritual blessings of counting your blessings are profound. Being grateful for what you have improves your self-esteem, which is an essential component to optimal performance and achieving your life purpose.

Recent research on types of gratitude have important significance for not only individuals but society as a whole. Study participants who had reflected on and expressed gratitude for experiences rather than material purchases, were significantly more generous to others and kept less for themselves than did those in the group who reflected on possessions.

One explanation, according to scientists, is that when people feel closer to other humans, they might treat others better. By structuring community experiences and events that promote social and spiritual connection, organizers can encourage more future altruistic behavior, which benefits us all.

“It is impossible to feel grateful and depressed in the same moment.” – Naomi Williams

6. Brain Power

Still skeptical? Even brain scans, hard scientific data, are confirming the astonishing impact of gratitude in 3 fascinating ways. A brain experiencing gratitude toward a specific person is flooded with feel-good hormones which makes you more inclined to desire that feeling again and make you feel attached to others at the same time.

Brain scans show gratitude also does something quite peculiar: it activates the hypothalamus.  Being thankful actually makes our metabolism, hunger and other natural bodily functions work more efficiently.

Perhaps most significantly during this high-stress era, gratitude increases mental strength. Remembering all you have to be thankful for, even during the most tragic times of your life, creates resilience and reduces Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

So, there you have it. That “Attitude of Gratitude” isn’t a platitude…it’s a health booster of highest magnitude!

What are you most grateful for today? Let us know in the comments below!

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Life

6 Proven Methods to Help You Take Back Your Daily Power

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Everyday, you wake up ready to take on the world. In your mind, you’re prepared for anything that comes your way, however  there are distractions that come along throughout the day. Each distraction takes away a little bit of your daily power, and eventually, you become numb to your intention of proactively having an awesome day. You’re simply out of mental energy because little negative distractions started to add up and your day goes down the drain by noon.

To stay focused on making your goals happen, here are 6 solutions to help you stop giving away your daily power:

1. Take your attention away from the distraction

It’s not a distraction if you don’t pay attention to it. Normally, when something happens, you automatically turn your focus to what’s going on. You’re now caught up in it and you want to see it through to the end. After 15 minutes, you then realize, “Where did the time go?” If you let daily distractions get the best of you, it will snowball into an unproductive day.

2. Keep moving forward

This is the rule for everything. No matter what happens or what gets in your way, keep moving forward. Your goal is to get things done and it won’t get done if you stop and complain about it. It’s so easy to give away your daily power to something that doesn’t even matter so don’t allow little things to stop you from making big moves. If it’s not helping you with your work, it’s not worth stopping to discuss and criticize. Keep moving forward.

“You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action.” – Tony Robbins

3. Leave the arguments to other people

People who argue waste a ton of time. Unless it’s your job to find others to argue with, it’s useless. You build up your emotions, trying to prove you’re right to someone who probably doesn’t really care. After you’re into your feelings, it’s hard to come back down and concentrate on what you were doing.

There are some people out there who literally argue for sport. They will pick an argument just to see the other person get worked up. Again, this is a real time waster and can mentally drain you. You could be using that energy towards making more important moves and decisions. Learn to bypass the arguments.

4. Just say no

When you’re doing your work, you will find that people will stop by and start a conversation. It’s like there’s a sign on your head that says, “I’m really deep into what I’m doing – please interrupt me.” Kindly tell that person that you can talk with them later, just not right now.

Also, if you’re invited to a party or a get-together that you really don’t want to go to, just say no. You may have more important things to accomplish and you honestly need that time to focus. Don’t feel like you’re obligated to go, just because they asked. An invitation allows you to say yes or no. Tell them you’ll make it next time.

“Learn to say no without explaining yourself.”

5. Stop worrying about what you can’t control

Things happen out of our control, yet that doesn’t mean you should take the time to complain about it. It means you should figure out a way to get around it and proceed with what you were doing in the first place. Accept the fact that it happened.

Unless you can change what happened, leave it alone and move on with your life. Some people get stuck on what happened and they don’t know how to get over it and move on. Focus your time and energy on what you can control. Make that happen.

6. Get over your emotions

Your emotions can take away a tremendous amount of your daily power. It sounds mean, but there should be a scheduled time when you put your emotions aside in order to work. You will not work effectively if you are emotional. Unless you’re a songwriter and you just broke up with your girlfriend, then it’s fine. That’s actually part of your work, because you’ll end up writing a hit song.

It’s the opposite for just about everything else. It’s not the right time to deal with emotions when your finger is on the red button and your cat just died. Devote some time to it, but not when you’re in the process of saving the world.

There are many ways small things can take away your daily power, but it doesn’t have to be that way. You are in control of your mind and your thoughts. If you are conscious enough to recognize when it’s happening, you can do something about it. Your day will be more productive and your daily power will be infinite.

How do you stay productive throughout the day? Let us know your advice in the comments below!

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Life

10 Simple Ways You Can Bounce Back in Life After Failure

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You’ve just failed to achieve something that you have aspired for. Maybe it’s a test, or a job, or even love. You’re now at a juncture, with two paths for you to consider: Sit and moan about it, but do nothing to change or bounce back. The reason you are reading this itself indicates that you are part of the latter category.

Here are 10 simple ways to bounce back in life no matter the situation:

1. I can do it and I will

This is, beyond doubt, the first thing you need to tell yourself every single day. Maybe even the first thing every single morning. Waking up reinvigorated, reinforce yourself ,“It’s a brand new day. There is so much for me to do, and now is the time. I can neither change my past, nor my future, but I shall act today and shape my future.”

2. Chalk out your plan

For anything that you want to achieve, be it a skill, passing a test, getting a job, losing weight or learning to drive, you need a plan. Chalking out this plan is your next step. It has to be based on your goal. Talk to experts, refer to relevant resources and read books about the goals that you want to accomplish. Come up with a plan as per your timeline and goals, the resources that you possess, and most importantly, your strengths.

“Success is the result of perfection, hard work, learning from failure, loyalty, and persistence.” – Colin Powell

3. Modularise your goal

Breaking down a significant task into smaller chunks always helps. It fosters self-belief and keeps the next goal in sight. Keep up your plan for a week and then break it down further to a daily level. Let’s say your goal is running a 5K marathon in the next month. Then your plan could look something like this:

  • 1st week – run 3 times a week.
  • 2nd week – run every day with short water breaks after every 8 /10 minutes.
  • 3rd week – Work on managing my breath.
  • 4th week – Practice and more practice (there’s no substitute for dedication).
  • D Day – Achieve what you’ve worked so hard for!

4. Keep track of your goal

The biggest mistake you could make is to think you have time. Before you realize it, all your time is gone. Unfortunately, time is the one resource we cannot conserve. Procrastination is addictive, and you will get better at it with each day that passes. Your backlog of tasks will keep growing each day, and to such an extent that one day, it seems unachievable and you have to abandon it. Bhagavad Geeta (an ancient scripture on how to live life) says – “your soul is your greatest friend as well as your biggest enemy. The real doer is your mind. Make it a habit to work to finish your target for the day. This becomes the base of building your confidence and belief in self.”

5. Celebrate your small wins

Reward yourself for sticking to your plan and achieving progress day by day. Getting yourself on the track is easier than keeping yourself there. Check your progress on a periodic basis. You may not be exactly where you planned yourself to be but, as long as you are within 10% of your planned progress, you’re good. Rewarding yourself for the progress made gives you the confidence and assurance to say, “I have made it till here and I have been consistent in my progress. I will make it.”

6. Be that deaf frog

Many of you would have heard about the story of the frog which climbed to the treetop while most of the other frogs kept shouting that it was impossible to reach the tree top. The reason it was able to reach the top was that it was deaf. So it couldn’t listen to all the negative comments, it was only focused on reaching its goal.

This applies to anyone, keeping one’s mind clean and positive is very important. If you keep listening to what people around you say and seek their approval, then you will never be able to progress. Our mind uses the sense organs to receive information and process it.

What we see, hear and whom we choose to be around is a major contributor to our thoughts. Hence, observing who you spend time with, is very important to keep you on your path. It’s always good to have friends whose company keeps you motivated.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” – Henry Ford

7. Avoid distractions, keep your eyes set on the goal

The formula for success in this age is the ability to focus and cut down on distractions, since all of us are force fed information every minute via social media and all the other channels. However, the authenticity and relevance of all this information are a huge question mark. All the media have very catchy or sensational titles to grab your attention.

This reduces our attention and memory span hugely. Continuing from the previous point, what you take inside determines your thoughts. Keep a watch on how you are spending your extra time. Keeping one limited on social media and Whatsapp is essential for success. Better not to be there at all, but the next best option is to limit yourself.

The question then arises, how else do I relax? Go for a walk, talk to your friends, or even go play outdoors. Do something that gives you happiness. You may feel left out, not knowing what’s happening in the world outside during the initial days, but there is nothing worth knowing that appears exclusively on social media. Eventually, you will get to know what’s important to you.

8. Don’t compare yourself to others

Your life is yours and you can never swap it with anyone else. Remember, the best of resources may not necessarily bring the best results, it’s the ones with the best attitude, and motivated minds that come up with the best results. You are the master of your life and no one else can make it better other than you.

9. Work on your weaknesses don’t run away from them

Everyone is unique and has their own set of strengths. Some may know how to portray their strengths in a better way, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have any strengths. See what you are good at and leverage on that. Work on your weak areas with more dedication to improve it. Running away from the problem will only make it bigger, and it is better to confront it and deal with it once and for all.

10. Reflect on where you started and how far have you come

Finally, reflect on where you started and how far you have come. It’s amazing to see what hurdles you have crossed to get where you are today. It’s by your determination and dedicated effort you have come here, and it doesn’t happen by luck or accident. Waiting for things to happen hasn’t brought you here, your efforts have. Ultimately, you will achieve your goal and your dream will become a positive reality. There is no better day than today to start your journey. Stay happy and positive, that’s a great vitamin for your mind.

How do you best recover from failure? Comment below!

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