Connect with us

Life

Want to Stop Being Angry? Stop Doing These 5 Things

Published

on

Anger stop being angry

I spent a lot of my life being angry, particularly being pissed off thinking about how my wrongdoers and bullies got away with it.

It was tough. Dealing with anger can be a harrowing experience for sure.

But I made a commitment to change of late.

I did a lot of research and even interviewed experts and influencers across the personal development industry.

You’ll be surprised how we’re constantly misleading ourselves back to anger without knowing it.

To deal with anger, we need to make a shift in perspective. It may sound unconventional at first, but it works.

 

1. Stop thinking the world should work the way you think it should

We get angry when we feel people should be nice or act a certain, logical manner.

We also get angry when we think we should have gotten over it by now.

But that’s the problem.

We need to get rid of our SHOULD rules.

Our mind says one thing, but reality always says otherwise.

Things will go wrong. Life will continue to be unfair and disobey you. As daunting as that sounds, you need to eliminate your SHOULD rules so you can loosen the grip you have on life.

 

2. Stop thinking that anger is a bad thing

Surprise! Anger isn’t a bad thing.

Anger is a good source of energy as a force for positive change. Rosa Parks, Ghandi and Martin Luthor King used it.

But yes, anger cannot sustain you. That is why you need to live life and harness other emotions.

This is a foundation you need to set for yourself to alleviate the undesirable feelings anger brings.

To know that anger isn’t a bad thing is to know that there’s nothing wrong with you, that you’re not a monster, that you’ve a disease or that you’re “messed up.”

So take solace in this. Anger is good. Let that be with your fuel to push you in a positive direction.

 

3. Stop managing your anger

Look, anger management doesn’t work. Surprised? Google it yourself then.

Anger management only serves to repress the feeling and bottle up your anger. That is effectively sweeping your problems under the rug.

No, you’ve to find the root cause of your anger. Anger is after all, a secondary emotion, not primary.

For me personally, I realized one root cause of my anger was fear, that I’d actually lose in a fight one day if it came to it, thus making me think that I’m not a real man.

I had to get honest with myself. I had to deal with it by asking the right questions and then applying realistic ways to stay calm and positive.

So what is it for you? Guilt? Fear? Sadness? Rejection?

Start being honest with yourself. Start asking the right and bigger questions. It will be scary, but you’ve to go through with it.

 

buddha holding onto anger
 

4. Stop reacting

Check out this powerful quote by Thich Nhat Hanh:

” If you get angry easily, it may be because the seed of anger in you has been watered frequently over many years, and unfortunately you’ve allowed it or even encouraged it to be watered.”

Yes, you may be angry today because you’ve watered the seed too much.

Anger, when used too much, can be a habit, and even an addiction.

That is why you need to stop reacting angrily to some negative thought or person.

No, I don’t even think injecting a positive thought in your head will help. That is a form of reaction that’s still acknowledging the anger and giving it power.

Stop reacting. Let it pass instead. Don’t give it any kind of power.

Why do you think people like to say that ignorance is bliss?

 

5. Stop taking the easy way out

You know what’s easy?

Getting angry and breaking things around the house, screaming at somebody, punching the wall or generally doing anything stupid.

You know what’s not easy?

Staying calm at the heat of the moment, walking away from a fight and ultimately becoming the master of your own emotions.

I get it man. Anger is tough. It’s frustrating, stressful and downright crappy.

But that’s the entire point.

If you want to see real results, you need to take on the challenge and embrace the struggle head on. You can’t cower down and take the easy route.

So go for it. Even if it doesn’t feel great, know that it’s perfectly normal. Work hard, feel the heat and don’t give up.

You can be the master of your emotions one day.

Advertisement
3 Comments

3 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

The Happiness Model That’ll Change Any Entrepreneurs Life

People often think that they will be happy at a later stage if they work hard today.  However, there is no guarantee of happiness at a later stage.

Published

on

ben shahar happiness model

Due to the rapid growth in technology, people are often in the rat race to compete with others little realizing that they are losing so much or so little. People often search for stones by leaving gems at home. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

Fake It and You’ll Make It: 10 Tips to Build Self-Confidence

When you lack self-confidence, you can fall into traps that can hold you back

Published

on

how to build self confidence

Self-confidence is an essential inner quality in any career, but in many areas (for example, in tech where I work) just because you are a woman, your abilities might be questioned before you even start your job. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

Revolutionize Your Growth: Lessons from Japanese Philosophy That Stand the Test of Time

Bushido, the “Way of the Warrior,” emerges as a profound guide to shaping one’s character with honor, integrity, and discipline

Published

on

Bushido philosophy

Ancient philosophies and codes of conduct often stand the test of time, offering invaluable insights into the essence of human character. Among these, Bushido, the “Way of the Warrior,” emerges as a profound guide to shaping one’s character with honor, integrity, and discipline. Originating in feudal Japan, Bushido transcends its historical roots, leaving an indelible mark on society and providing timeless principles for personal growth and development. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

How to Expand Human Potential to Find More Meaning in Your Life

When we expand our potential, we cultivate the meaning and purpose we’ve always longed for.

Published

on

how to expand your potential
Image Credit: Midjourney

Human potential, what we’re emotionally capable of, is infinite. (more…)

Continue Reading

Trending