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Want to Stop Being Angry? Stop Doing These 5 Things

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Anger stop being angry

I spent a lot of my life being angry, particularly being pissed off thinking about how my wrongdoers and bullies got away with it.

It was tough. Dealing with anger can be a harrowing experience for sure.

But I made a commitment to change of late.

I did a lot of research and even interviewed experts and influencers across the personal development industry.

You’ll be surprised how we’re constantly misleading ourselves back to anger without knowing it.

To deal with anger, we need to make a shift in perspective. It may sound unconventional at first, but it works.

 

1. Stop thinking the world should work the way you think it should

We get angry when we feel people should be nice or act a certain, logical manner.

We also get angry when we think we should have gotten over it by now.

But that’s the problem.

We need to get rid of our SHOULD rules.

Our mind says one thing, but reality always says otherwise.

Things will go wrong. Life will continue to be unfair and disobey you. As daunting as that sounds, you need to eliminate your SHOULD rules so you can loosen the grip you have on life.

 

2. Stop thinking that anger is a bad thing

Surprise! Anger isn’t a bad thing.

Anger is a good source of energy as a force for positive change. Rosa Parks, Ghandi and Martin Luthor King used it.

But yes, anger cannot sustain you. That is why you need to live life and harness other emotions.

This is a foundation you need to set for yourself to alleviate the undesirable feelings anger brings.

To know that anger isn’t a bad thing is to know that there’s nothing wrong with you, that you’re not a monster, that you’ve a disease or that you’re “messed up.”

So take solace in this. Anger is good. Let that be with your fuel to push you in a positive direction.

 

3. Stop managing your anger

Look, anger management doesn’t work. Surprised? Google it yourself then.

Anger management only serves to repress the feeling and bottle up your anger. That is effectively sweeping your problems under the rug.

No, you’ve to find the root cause of your anger. Anger is after all, a secondary emotion, not primary.

For me personally, I realized one root cause of my anger was fear, that I’d actually lose in a fight one day if it came to it, thus making me think that I’m not a real man.

I had to get honest with myself. I had to deal with it by asking the right questions and then applying realistic ways to stay calm and positive.

So what is it for you? Guilt? Fear? Sadness? Rejection?

Start being honest with yourself. Start asking the right and bigger questions. It will be scary, but you’ve to go through with it.

 

buddha holding onto anger
 

4. Stop reacting

Check out this powerful quote by Thich Nhat Hanh:

” If you get angry easily, it may be because the seed of anger in you has been watered frequently over many years, and unfortunately you’ve allowed it or even encouraged it to be watered.”

Yes, you may be angry today because you’ve watered the seed too much.

Anger, when used too much, can be a habit, and even an addiction.

That is why you need to stop reacting angrily to some negative thought or person.

No, I don’t even think injecting a positive thought in your head will help. That is a form of reaction that’s still acknowledging the anger and giving it power.

Stop reacting. Let it pass instead. Don’t give it any kind of power.

Why do you think people like to say that ignorance is bliss?

 

5. Stop taking the easy way out

You know what’s easy?

Getting angry and breaking things around the house, screaming at somebody, punching the wall or generally doing anything stupid.

You know what’s not easy?

Staying calm at the heat of the moment, walking away from a fight and ultimately becoming the master of your own emotions.

I get it man. Anger is tough. It’s frustrating, stressful and downright crappy.

But that’s the entire point.

If you want to see real results, you need to take on the challenge and embrace the struggle head on. You can’t cower down and take the easy route.

So go for it. Even if it doesn’t feel great, know that it’s perfectly normal. Work hard, feel the heat and don’t give up.

You can be the master of your emotions one day.

Life

A Simple but Effective Technique to Be More Confident

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Many people want to learn how to be confident in different situations, but it’s not always easy. Maybe we’re too addicted to comparing ourselves or maybe social media has brainwashed us to believe that we should all be rich, famous, and in incredible shape. (more…)

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Knowing Your Message vs Delivering Your Message

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Have you ever sent a text message only to have it misinterpreted by the person reading it? Happens all the time. Have you ever given a presentation that you were totally prepared for only to have it fall flat? Happens all the time. Have you ever had someone ask you something like, “Why are you mad?” when you were not at all mad? Happens all the time. (more…)

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The 3 Most Important Things I Learned About Personal Growth

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When you look back on your life, what do you want to think about? Do you plan to reminisce on all of the good things that have happened and how they shaped who you are today? Or would you rather remember all of the bad decisions, challenging experiences, and mistakes made that hurt or wasted a portion of your life?

In my opinion, I think it is important to reflect on both. While it’s important to remember the hardships we’ve been through in our lives – without them we wouldn’t be where we are now. There are 3 very specific areas that I feel have helped me grow in a personal sense more than anything else in my life so far. 

These aren’t simple lessons in a book or a lecture that you can just absorb and apply to your life. These are things that I’ve learned through experience and reflection, and I’m still learning and growing today.

1. We determine how much we’re worth by what we think about ourselves, others, and life in general.

This might seem like a pretty obvious lesson in life but it’s actually one of the most important because we can determine our own worth by how we think about ourselves and the world around us. If you’re looking for success in any kind of business or social setting (dating), then I’ll tell you right now that it doesn’t matter if you have 10 billion dollars or not – people are still going to judge you based on your thoughts and beliefs alone.

What determines our value isn’t necessarily what we do with our lives (which is often based on luck) but whether or not we believe that ‘our work’ is worthy or not in some sort of grand scheme or universe. We may not always be able to control what happens in our lives, but we can always control how we value ourselves and others.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou

2. You don’t have to change your habits or personality just because someone else doesn’t like it – their opinions are THEIRS alone.

This is another one of those lessons that people tend to pick up on a little bit late in life, but if anything that makes its importance even worse! Basically, there’s going to come a time when you’re going to meet someone who has certain expectations of you as a person…but these expectations might not be realistic due to their motivations and personal beliefs. For example, sometimes parents might expect you to be a lawyer or doctor because that’s what they believe is best for their child.

However, this isn’t the case for everyone and so maybe your passion lies in music or writing novels. In this example, if you were also pressured into becoming a doctor – then there would obviously be some kind of conflict going on within yourself as a person. You should never have to give up something that you want to do just because someone else doesn’t like it! The reason why we’re put onto this Earth is to make our own choices and go after our OWN dreams instead of letting others determine what we can and cannot do with our lives .

3. You can’t change your life until you accept that you need to make a change.

When I was younger, I thought that this lesson would be pretty obvious – but as I got older, it really made me appreciate the fact that there are always different ways of perceiving our lives. For example, if someone wants to become rich and famous one day – their mind might simply overshadow any other possibility in their head because they feel like this is what they NEED to do right now.

However, this isn’t always true within our own lives because we think about things too literally instead of having an open mind. If you want to achieve success in any kind of business or social setting (dating) then you should be willing to try out different things instead of staying in your comfort zone. If you want something, then it’s up to YOU to actually go after it – nobody else is going to give it to you!

The three lessons above are some of the main things I want to pass on to everyone because they’ve come at an important time in my life where I need to start thinking about others instead of only myself. It’s great if we can learn to love ourselves first before anything else, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect everyone around you even though they might be your friends and family members!

If you enjoyed this article on the 3 most important things I learned about personal growth, then please share it with your friends and family! Also, check out my other articles on success & motivation as well as life lessons that could help people who are struggling with their life right now on lifengoal.com. Thanks for reading!

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Life

​​4 Boss Level Growth Strategies That Create an Optimized Life

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Building a business is about more than sales, marketing, and flexing on social media. While those things tend to draw attention, they attract the wrong type of clients and are not how you build a sustainable and freedom-focused business. (more…)

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