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8 Time Wasters That Hold Us Back (And What To Do Instead)

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If we are honest with ourselves, we’ll admit that we hold ourselves back. We can blame our past, our parents, we can even blame our pets for the faults in our lives. But our greatest enemies? Are ourselves. We are our greatest saboteurs.

I’ve been there a few times myself and it has not been an easy road to get to a place of true understanding. But I’ve done it and as I discover new things about me I’d like to share with you my journey.
There some time wasters in our lives that suck our energy and hold us back from not only being productive but from achieving real success in our lives on a whole.

8 Time Wasters That Could Potentially Destroy You

 

1. Holding on to the past

Regrets never take you anywhere but into a dark deep hole of what ifs. You can’t change what has happened but you can ensure that it never occurs again. The energy and emotion spent on regret can be used in other creative ways. And it’ll help you to learn and grow from the experience.

What to do instead:

Letting go of the situation may be easier said than done but it’s not impossible. For example, if you need to forgive someone (even yourself) do it then move on. In her TED Talk Don’t Regret Regret Kathryn Schulz notes:

“regret doesn’t remind us that we did badly, it reminds us that we know we can do better.”

Go forth and do better.

 

2. Waiting for “something big” to happen

It’s good that you believe in manifesting your reality but if you don’t put in the work, you won’t achieve that grand dream. Things won’t just happen to you. You have to go out and make it happen. Do whatever it takes to make it come to pass.

If big journeys begin with small steps then you need to just put one foot in front the other and start walking.

What to do instead:

Set at least 5 goals that are needed to get that big thing to happen to you then start small, adjust, and tweak as you go along.

You wish to become a writer? Spend 30 minutes each day doing some writing and you’ll be amazed with the results at the end of six months. Or follow your favorite author(s) on Social Media, comment on their posts and share what they share. You’ll begin to make connections with them that way. And while you’re at it live in the moment, savor the “In-Between moments” that occur before the big journey arrives.

 

3. Seeking revenge on others

On your backstabbing coworker, ex-girlfriend, you name it you want to do it.

I know we’ve all had fantasies of getting back at the idiot who almost ran you over on the freeway or at the boss who called you out in front of your coworkers; but it’s a waste of time as well as energy and happiness.

Share below the last time you exacted revenge on a wrong and you felt good about it.

What to do instead:

Judith Orloff talks about understanding the importance of dealing with your emotions. I’ll just say learn to accept that at some point you will get betrayed and that someone will steal your thunder. No you won’t be walking around being an eternal pessimist, but rather you’ll know that it’s not about you if it ever happens.

 

4. Having the attention span of a gnat

This has nothing to do with ADD or ADHD. It’s just that you need to focus on what is happening at the point in time.

When there are multiple things happening in your life and mind at once, chaos ensues. Your brain can only focus on one thing at a time doing more presents chaos that cannot be controlled.

What to do instead:

Be mindful of what you’re doing every time. If you’re conversing with your spouse stay focused on them.

Train your mind to focus on one thing at a time. Turn off your phone and other distractions when you are completing a task. After you’ve done that you may then commence another task.

 

Short Life Quote
 

5. Bad talking others

Admittedly, I’ve been guilty of doing this myself but doing it hurts both the gossiper as well as the gossiped. That childhood taunt – “sticks and stones can break my bones but words can do me no harm” is a barefaced lie.

Words hurt and once they’ve been spoken they can’t be taken back. And you? You’ll lose credibility and no one will trust you with their secrets either.

What to do instead:

Surround yourself with people who are positive and upbeat. Download a few books on your tablet, read them and start a book club. Learn to play the guitar (or some other instrument) during your lunch hour.

Start a blog but whatever you do: RUN from your former gossiping allies.

 

6. Envying what others have

Do you know how they came by it?

Were you there when they stayed up late, got up early in order to see their project though?

Then why do you feel it’s okay to sit in a corner and let the green eyed monster take you to places you shouldn’t go?

What to do instead:

Be grateful for what you do have and strive to share it with others regardless of how small it may be.

When you think of it nobody really has it all but rather than wanting the shiny object in the other person’s hand go get your own.

 

7. Negative beliefs

Negativity can be crippling and keep you from launching. Negative beliefs come in thoughts such as I am not good enough; I have nothing to offer; they are so much better than I am.

Why would he want to go out with me? Stop. Just stop.

Until you recognize how negativity is like a crutch, a familiar idol which you keep close to hobble along life then you’ll forever find yourself in a concentric circle dumping your emotions into the smaller circle with little room for escape or maneuvering.

What to do instead:

Within that concentric circle I mentioned above, it’s unavoidable that you’ll touch the life of others around you; we are too intertwined as humans: socially, genetically, romantically for it not to happen.

In order to stem your negative beliefs you can learn to touch others with love, with a bit of grace and definitely patience. Your life is your message don’t let it be defined by things that won’t help others on their own journeys.

 

8. Procrastination

If you find yourself wanting to clean your car (your most hated activity) when you should be completing that all important thing on your to do list then you have avoidance issues.

Reading about overcoming procrastination won’t help either until you plant yourself firmly to get it done.

What to do instead:

Think about the base feelings that cause you to shy away from doing something. For me it was fear. But I learned to live life with pure Chaucerian genius: nothing ventured, nothing gained!

You may need to schedule your tasks in 30-45 minute blocks, set a timer (use your smartphone or download an app from your PC) whatever will work for you. Tackle the task in small increments then avoid anything else that will distract you from getting it done.

 

Conclusion

My life is a testament of all of those things I’ve had to endure during the course of my life. Was it easy? Of course. And hell yes at time times I still have to work on myself to go where I want to go. But I never give up and neither should you.

Practice the suggested tips for the next few weeks and share with us below how you tackle the time wasters in your life.

To your success in life.

Tasia Gonsalves-Barriero is a small island girl from the Caribbean who works in Social Media and Content Marketing. Don’t be shy, say hi over on Twitter.

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16 Comments

16 Comments

  1. amit

    Sep 9, 2016 at 1:31 pm

    I like your articles, basically the way u present it Its very interesting and useful!

  2. whatsapphindifunnyjokes

    Aug 21, 2016 at 8:18 am

    I like ur articles! The way u present them is very interesting and useful.

  3. Kishan

    Dec 18, 2015 at 11:06 am

    Thanks for Sharing. Really Awesome Content.

  4. Kishan Patel

    Nov 14, 2015 at 2:43 pm

    Thanks for sharing this awesome post. I love the 2nd and 8th point you mention.

  5. Anshu

    May 7, 2015 at 11:31 am

    Thanks very much for sharing this awesome article. I really appreciate your thinking as Its motivates me. God Bless you Dear

  6. Raghav

    Apr 28, 2015 at 9:40 am

    First great thanks to Tasia Gonsalves-Barriero. You have explain very deep truth of life. I really appreciate this. Lovely reading this post. Have a great Day.

  7. Kendy

    Mar 31, 2015 at 7:46 am

    great article. i never knew why am still held back

  8. Tracie

    Mar 13, 2015 at 1:53 am

    Thank you

  9. Jill adler

    Feb 22, 2015 at 4:27 pm

    I’m the master procrastor! Like the idea of a 30minute timer. Thanks!

    • Tasia

      Feb 25, 2015 at 7:18 am

      Hi Jill,

      Thanks for stopping by. Try the 30 minute timer for a few days and let us know how it works for you.

  10. EfficientSoftware

    Feb 13, 2015 at 9:41 am

    Love your posts. Totally agree.
    Usually email checking costs me a lot of time, in order to keep productivity i always put it off instead of checking it in the mornings

  11. Tasia

    Feb 12, 2015 at 1:20 pm

    Hi Minesh and Jose:

    Thanks for the responses.

    Jose, I agree that a lot of people waste too much time with waiting. The sad thing is the cemeteries are filled with lots of ideas, dreams and aspirations that will never see the light of day.

    All the best to you and drop by and tell us how it goes with you.

  12. José Lugo

    Feb 11, 2015 at 4:52 pm

    Great article! For me your second point (Waiting for something big to happen) is the biggest time waster of them all. I believe that there are many people with great ideas, dreams and aspirations but they don’t do nothing because there waiting for a big sign or a lucky day. They don’t realize that it may never come. I like your recommendation to what to do instead. It will help a lot of people, I know it has help me.

  13. Minesh

    Feb 11, 2015 at 7:34 am

    Thank u very much

  14. Tasks

    Feb 9, 2015 at 4:09 pm

    Thanks for stopping by Aly and for commenting. I’m glad you’ve recovered from the negativity.

  15. Aly Shah

    Feb 8, 2015 at 8:47 am

    holding on to your past your very first point is the most unique feature of this post, as i have seen the other 7 point being talked upon. But still your first point is also the most important point as i have not had problems in the other areas as much as this some past mistakes really pushed my mind into negativity. But thankfully i have had recovered from them quite some time a go with a lot of contemplation. kudos on recognizing the importance of letting go of regret.

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Life

Lost Your Mojo? Focus on These 3 Areas to Get Back in the Game

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get back in the game

It’s time for some good news! You’re only ever lacking in three areas and guess what? You can turn those 3 things around relatively easily and quickly!

It’s easy to get caught up thinking, that you’re miles behind, that you can’t find your flow or mojo or that you’re just lazy and unmotivated. The good news is you are only a few decisions, actions and days away from finding your mojo again!

Here are 3 things you need to look at when you’re feeling down and out:

1. Energy levels

The first place to look when you lose your mojo is your energy levels. What are you eating & drinking? Are you eating lean, green and light? If you aren’t already, cut your intake down and focus on hydrating your body with water and eating fresh organic food. Being light on your feet and energizing your body is most important.

Also, take a look at your exercise regime. Are you exercising for energy or are you burning your body out at the gym? Make sure you are getting good consistent rest every night and don’t forget to spend some time alone in nature connecting with your inner most self.

“You just got to wake up with a smile and love every minute of building your dream.” – Joe Duncan

2. Production levels

The second place to look is your production levels or more so, your lack of production! Are you producing enough work or activity to get the results you want? That’s usually the real cause of most of your problems; a lack of work, effort and momentum. In many cases a lack of production stems from a lack of energy – but hey, we’re working on that right?

3. Confidence levels

The third place to look when you’re floundering is your confidence levels. But don’t panic, we all lose our confidence from time to time. When you lose your confidence and your sense of certainty, everything else will be impacted, especially your performance.

The best way to get your confidence back is to go back to basics for a few days and try and build some momentum and get your flow back. You lose your confidence when you lose your self belief, so do the simple things you know you can do well, then you’ll start to believe in your ability again!

“You won’t always get it right, but that doesn’t mean you’re never going to get it right.” – Joe Duncan

It’s time to get your mojo back and get back in the game. Remember next time when you get stuck you only have to make adjustments in these three areas and most likely they will only be small tweaks and changes that need to be implemented. 

Click here if you are having trouble finding your flow, lost motivation and need some help to get back on your feet!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Life

How Never Giving Up Can Lead You From Pain and Suffering to Ease and Joy

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I struggled with many aspects of life early on such as growing up in challenging circumstances and getting bullied at school. I read my first self-development book at 13 and attended many courses and workshops, but nothing I encountered made the difference for me. It was only once I found a set of energetic processes and tools which I now use in my life and my work that I was able to turn things around.

Today, I get to write for you about my experiences, run a thriving mentoring and healing practice and travel to attend classes and events.

Here are some of the things I’ve done/learned along the way:

1. I took responsibility for my actions

I believe we attract all our experiences in order to learn from them. It is tough when we go through things we don’t know how to handle and experience pain, fear and anxiety as a result.  

This leaves us many emotions to release and a skill gap to bridge, which if done right, allows us to develop a level of confidence about how to turn experience into awareness and integrate our learning into wisdom for future ease and higher outcomes.

For me, learning to let go was hard (we are not taught this and I kept feeling like I had to hold onto things to protect myself). After a while, I came to the decision that “It’s not what’s happened to me, it’s how I deal with it that matters”.

Choosing from this space was empowering and allowed me to move from regret and develop a sense of purpose from my experiences.

2. I jumped off the cliff without a parachute and became inspired and trusting on the way down

I had gotten to the point where if I stayed where I was, I would die. I didn’t know how my life would look or who I would become in the process of changing, yet I knew if I was going to survive I had to become a radically different version of me.

Once I made that decision, I found the tools I was looking for that were relatable, fun and powerful. I began to change my thoughts, feelings and emotions and way of viewing the world.

After a while, instead of using personal development to escape the pain of my life, I became addicted to pursuing the highest version of myself and curious how much change and transformation I could create. I was having fun!

I began to ask what was possible for me I’d never imagined and realized that who I actually am is completely different from who I had thought I wanted to become. I discovered my soul purpose was connected to my inner work and my years of struggle and transformation meant that I had something valuable to offer others.

“What we are waiting for is not as important as what happens to us while we are waiting. Trust the process.” – Mandy Hale

3. I had the unshakeable belief something else was possible

As growth, healing, and expansion became my highest goal, the details filled themselves in. The right people and things showed up to trigger my growth and to support me which helped me be less fearful, and more able to give and receive love from others.

I lost layers of accumulated emotional garbage and started to connect with my power and purpose. I stopped telling my victim story (except to inspire others) and I began to trust myself and have faith in life again to have my back.

4. I made heaps of mistakes and instead of feeling bad about it, I felt determined, courageous and free

This part was tough. There were setbacks, embarrassments, discouragements and challenges but I wasn’t going to give in and quit.  

I had to suck at some things in order to get better. Creating a new life from scratch is a great way to lose ego. There were a few hurdles where I would get super upset, yet giving up was never an option.

There’s no point in being upset so I sucked it up and moved on. This takes courage and feels totally weird at first, but it is so worth it.

5. I became a new version of me

In the course of recreating myself, I began to develop new attributes. I was so focusing on changing, I didn’t notice what was different about me at first.

Every few months I would write my goals and it wasn’t until I would check them that I began to realize how much I’d accomplished in the process of changing me.

This became clearer whenever I would run across someone who I once looked up to because their life suddenly looked smaller than I remembered. While they had been comfortable and barely moving, I had plodded past them like the proverbial tortoise. As I stay on this trajectory, the benefits and changes multiply exponentially over time.

“Every day, you reinvent yourself. You’re always in motion. But you decide every day: forward or backward.” – James Altucher

6. I became open to new ideas and concepts

In the process of being cracked wide open by life, I became curious, accepting and interested in different ideas, concepts and techniques.

Things like manifesting, consciousness, spirituality and other ‘strange’ ideas became my friends.  After years of trying to create change via psychological means, effort, willpower and implementing traditional tools of personal development, I found my wheelhouse in the different.

Today I am grateful for my early adversity and my own persistence and determination. Without them, who I am today would have remained undiscovered and I wouldn’t get to do the cool stuff I do with other people. I am grateful for the amazing tools and information around today, which can make the journey so much easier.

What helps you keep moving when you feel like giving up? Let us know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Life

As Bad As Smoking? 3 Reasons to Occasionally Unplug From Technology

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take a break from technology

A popular meme reads: “I’m having people over to stare at their phones later if you want to come by…” It’s kind of funny in an alarming way since many people would consider walking barefoot across flaming hot coals before parting with their smartphones for a few weeks.

As useful as things like the Internet and mobile devices are, taking time to occasionally unplug is a good habit. Even if for no other reason than to develop your willpower and avoid being too heavily addicted to your wireless toy.

Consider the following three reasons for periodically unplugging from technology and taking a minute to smell the roses:

1. Face-To-Face Interaction

As useful as social media is for things like marketing, maintaining contact with old friends and sending messages across the world in the blink of an eye, there’s no substitute for a friendly meeting and a firm handshake.

There are few things in life that have more potential to increase our happiness than building good relationships with the people around us. Taking the effort to postpone the reading and answering of your latest text message in order to listen and offer attention to the person in front of you can be a great way to improve relationships and show people you care.

If you want a more practical and success-driven reason, then consider the fact that developing a healthy network is one of the most powerful ways to successfully grow your business or career. Spending a business lunch or golf game glued to your touchscreen is a lousy way to build that network.

2. Creative Thinking

Creativity is another powerful asset in your effort to expand your success, solve your problems and increase your happiness. Getting in the habit of frequent, diligent reading (an activity often performed with mobile devices) is essential in developing your creative capacity. In addition, investing alone time to occasionally take a step back to think, review options and consider possible solutions towards life’s struggles is a great quality.

Making a habit of doing so can be beneficial for planning your career, planning an exciting night out on the town with your spouse, planning how to discipline your teenager and plenty more.

“Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart.” – Mencius

3. Health Concerns

The health risks caused by electromagnetic frequencies (EMFs) are numerous and not to be ignored. Health damaging EMFs are emitted by various types of electronic devices including cellphones, tablets and laptops among others. Although pretending these dangers don’t exist may seem convenient, there’s nothing convenient about dealing with the consequences. Some have even suggested that cell phones may eventually prove to be as cancerous as cigarettes. Don’t believe me?

In the book ‘The Non-Tinfoil Guide To EMFs’, Nicolas Pineault writes, “A $25M study performed by the US National Toxicology Program (NTP) studied the effects of exposing rats and mice to an amount of cellphone radiation equivalent to what a human would get by talking for 30 minutes a day, for 36 years.

“As reported by Microwave News: ‘The exposed rats were found to have higher rates of two types of cancers: glioma, a tumor of the glial cells in the brain, and malignant schwannoma of the heart, a very rare tumor. None of the unexposed control rats developed either type of tumor.’

“The irony is the whole reason John Bucher, the senior manager of the NTP study, wanted his agency to run this study is to prove once and for all that cellphones do not cause cancer.”

Swearing off technology is probably not the most practical solution. (Although if that’s your thing, then rock on.) That said, occasionally taking a break from technology and spending some time in nature might help counteract some of the negative effects.

Bonus: Stress Reduction

With so many people in our culture complaining of excessive stress and/or taking antidepressants, it makes sense to proactively take steps to reduce stress before it builds up so much that you experience a nervous breakdown.

I don’t know about you, but when I get away from the computer or turn off my mobile device for a bit, I can feel the difference. If I’ve been working on my laptop or tablet for too long, then getting away and taking a break offers a noticeable relief. I almost immediately feel calmer.

If you’ve been on your phone/tablet/computer for a while, consider taking a few minutes after you finish reading this article to leave technology behind and catch a breath of fresh air.

“The more ways we have to connect, the more many of us seem desperate to unplug.” – Pico Iyer

Are you ready to build stronger relationships? Are you ready to proactively develop creative solutions? Are you ready to start preserving your health? Are you ready to leave some of that stress behind you? If so, then it’s time to fit a periodical unplug into your schedule. You might be surprised by how much this helps.

How many hours of the day do you use your phone? Are you being productive on it? Let us know in the comments below so we can help one another.

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Life

3 Ways to Have More Time by Living More Proactively

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We live in a reactive world. We feel compelled to check and respond to digital tools at a moment’s notice. A few minutes here and a few there checking email, responding to Slack messages, and replying to Facebook posts add up to a significant amount of time over the course of a day, week, and month. This precious time could be spent writing a book, training for a race, or being with your kids.

There’s a better way: live proactively. It means starting each day with purpose by taking control of what you do and when you do it. Embrace the proactive habits below and you’ll be amazed at what you accomplish.

1. Know Where Your Time Goes

It’s critical to start every day with a plan that details what you’re going to do and when. Take a few minutes each evening to create a schedule for the day ahead, hour-by-hour. Note your current commitments, like “meeting from 12pm to 1pm.” Then, give yourself large chunks of time to complete your priorities for the day.  

On Monday evening you plan your day for Tuesday, which could look something like this:

6am – 8am: Write draft of article

8am – 9am: Commute to work

9am – 11am: Write report

11am – 12pm: Attend meeting

You get the idea. Without a plan, it’s too easy to spend your days reacting to others: agreeing to take on a project or deciding to attend a last-minute meeting. This is a sure-fire way to unnecessarily drag out your days, leaving you with little time for anything else.

Planning your day takes a little upfront effort, but the results pay dividends in return. You’ll get a lot done in less time.

“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” – Benjamin Franklin

2. Determine When You’re Available to Communicate

You can’t be a hermit all day, every day. You’ll have to respond to people either personally or digitally at some point. That’s why you should determine in advance when you’re available to others to answer questions and discuss issues with friends and colleagues. Experiment and find a block of time that works for you, and include it in your daily schedule.

This proactive approach gives you a block of time to handle communication, instead of here and there throughout the day—a practice that can eat away at your day. Plus, using a block of time to handle correspondence sets the expectation for others: they can’t interrupt and pepper you all day long with questions.

3. Focus, Focus, Focus

Now that you’ve got a plan in place, it’s time to hone in on the details: do one task at a time. This way of working is at odds with the rest of the world, since it’s popular today to multitask. It’s common to see employees working on one monitor and responding to Slack messages on another. But there’s a problem with multitasking: it doesn’t work.

When we “multitask,” we’re not really doing multiple things at once. Rather, we’re doing “individual actions in rapid succession,” as pointed out by the Cleveland Clinic. We are in fact “mono-taskers.”

Eliminating digital distractions helps you to focus completely on the task at hand. Put your smartphone on silent and move it out of sight so you’re not tempted to check it while working. Close your email and Slack tabs. In other words, proactively eliminate digital and physical clutter, and you’ll find you get more quality work done when you focus and do things one at a time.

“What I’ve learned in these 11 years is you just got to stay focused and believe in yourself and trust your own ability and judgment.” – Mark Cuban

Above all, living proactively is a shift in mindset. Instead of saying “let’s see what blows up at the office today” and reacting to every whim, begin the day with purpose and be proactive with your time and attention—both are limited.

How do you make sure you use your time wisely? Let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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The Best Way to Create a Six-figure Startup From Scratch

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Many solo entrepreneurs make good six-figure income living selling products and services online. If you’re a technical person, it’s even better, as you can create a highly-scalable cloud-based business. For non-technical founders, there are still many ways to make a six-figure or, even, seven-figure annual revenue. (more…)

Jennifer Xue is an award-winning author, business columnist and serial entrepreneur based in Northern California. She is a digital strategist for Oberlo and blogs at JenniferXue.com. Her byline has appeared in Forbes, Fortune, Cosmopolitan, Esquire, and other international publications.

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16 Comments

16 Comments

  1. amit

    Sep 9, 2016 at 1:31 pm

    I like your articles, basically the way u present it Its very interesting and useful!

  2. whatsapphindifunnyjokes

    Aug 21, 2016 at 8:18 am

    I like ur articles! The way u present them is very interesting and useful.

  3. Kishan

    Dec 18, 2015 at 11:06 am

    Thanks for Sharing. Really Awesome Content.

  4. Kishan Patel

    Nov 14, 2015 at 2:43 pm

    Thanks for sharing this awesome post. I love the 2nd and 8th point you mention.

  5. Anshu

    May 7, 2015 at 11:31 am

    Thanks very much for sharing this awesome article. I really appreciate your thinking as Its motivates me. God Bless you Dear

  6. Raghav

    Apr 28, 2015 at 9:40 am

    First great thanks to Tasia Gonsalves-Barriero. You have explain very deep truth of life. I really appreciate this. Lovely reading this post. Have a great Day.

  7. Kendy

    Mar 31, 2015 at 7:46 am

    great article. i never knew why am still held back

  8. Tracie

    Mar 13, 2015 at 1:53 am

    Thank you

  9. Jill adler

    Feb 22, 2015 at 4:27 pm

    I’m the master procrastor! Like the idea of a 30minute timer. Thanks!

    • Tasia

      Feb 25, 2015 at 7:18 am

      Hi Jill,

      Thanks for stopping by. Try the 30 minute timer for a few days and let us know how it works for you.

  10. EfficientSoftware

    Feb 13, 2015 at 9:41 am

    Love your posts. Totally agree.
    Usually email checking costs me a lot of time, in order to keep productivity i always put it off instead of checking it in the mornings

  11. Tasia

    Feb 12, 2015 at 1:20 pm

    Hi Minesh and Jose:

    Thanks for the responses.

    Jose, I agree that a lot of people waste too much time with waiting. The sad thing is the cemeteries are filled with lots of ideas, dreams and aspirations that will never see the light of day.

    All the best to you and drop by and tell us how it goes with you.

  12. José Lugo

    Feb 11, 2015 at 4:52 pm

    Great article! For me your second point (Waiting for something big to happen) is the biggest time waster of them all. I believe that there are many people with great ideas, dreams and aspirations but they don’t do nothing because there waiting for a big sign or a lucky day. They don’t realize that it may never come. I like your recommendation to what to do instead. It will help a lot of people, I know it has help me.

  13. Minesh

    Feb 11, 2015 at 7:34 am

    Thank u very much

  14. Tasks

    Feb 9, 2015 at 4:09 pm

    Thanks for stopping by Aly and for commenting. I’m glad you’ve recovered from the negativity.

  15. Aly Shah

    Feb 8, 2015 at 8:47 am

    holding on to your past your very first point is the most unique feature of this post, as i have seen the other 7 point being talked upon. But still your first point is also the most important point as i have not had problems in the other areas as much as this some past mistakes really pushed my mind into negativity. But thankfully i have had recovered from them quite some time a go with a lot of contemplation. kudos on recognizing the importance of letting go of regret.

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Life

Lost Your Mojo? Focus on These 3 Areas to Get Back in the Game

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get back in the game

It’s time for some good news! You’re only ever lacking in three areas and guess what? You can turn those 3 things around relatively easily and quickly!

It’s easy to get caught up thinking, that you’re miles behind, that you can’t find your flow or mojo or that you’re just lazy and unmotivated. The good news is you are only a few decisions, actions and days away from finding your mojo again!

Here are 3 things you need to look at when you’re feeling down and out:

1. Energy levels

The first place to look when you lose your mojo is your energy levels. What are you eating & drinking? Are you eating lean, green and light? If you aren’t already, cut your intake down and focus on hydrating your body with water and eating fresh organic food. Being light on your feet and energizing your body is most important.

Also, take a look at your exercise regime. Are you exercising for energy or are you burning your body out at the gym? Make sure you are getting good consistent rest every night and don’t forget to spend some time alone in nature connecting with your inner most self.

“You just got to wake up with a smile and love every minute of building your dream.” – Joe Duncan

2. Production levels

The second place to look is your production levels or more so, your lack of production! Are you producing enough work or activity to get the results you want? That’s usually the real cause of most of your problems; a lack of work, effort and momentum. In many cases a lack of production stems from a lack of energy – but hey, we’re working on that right?

3. Confidence levels

The third place to look when you’re floundering is your confidence levels. But don’t panic, we all lose our confidence from time to time. When you lose your confidence and your sense of certainty, everything else will be impacted, especially your performance.

The best way to get your confidence back is to go back to basics for a few days and try and build some momentum and get your flow back. You lose your confidence when you lose your self belief, so do the simple things you know you can do well, then you’ll start to believe in your ability again!

“You won’t always get it right, but that doesn’t mean you’re never going to get it right.” – Joe Duncan

It’s time to get your mojo back and get back in the game. Remember next time when you get stuck you only have to make adjustments in these three areas and most likely they will only be small tweaks and changes that need to be implemented. 

Click here if you are having trouble finding your flow, lost motivation and need some help to get back on your feet!

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How Never Giving Up Can Lead You From Pain and Suffering to Ease and Joy

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I struggled with many aspects of life early on such as growing up in challenging circumstances and getting bullied at school. I read my first self-development book at 13 and attended many courses and workshops, but nothing I encountered made the difference for me. It was only once I found a set of energetic processes and tools which I now use in my life and my work that I was able to turn things around.

Today, I get to write for you about my experiences, run a thriving mentoring and healing practice and travel to attend classes and events.

Here are some of the things I’ve done/learned along the way:

1. I took responsibility for my actions

I believe we attract all our experiences in order to learn from them. It is tough when we go through things we don’t know how to handle and experience pain, fear and anxiety as a result.  

This leaves us many emotions to release and a skill gap to bridge, which if done right, allows us to develop a level of confidence about how to turn experience into awareness and integrate our learning into wisdom for future ease and higher outcomes.

For me, learning to let go was hard (we are not taught this and I kept feeling like I had to hold onto things to protect myself). After a while, I came to the decision that “It’s not what’s happened to me, it’s how I deal with it that matters”.

Choosing from this space was empowering and allowed me to move from regret and develop a sense of purpose from my experiences.

2. I jumped off the cliff without a parachute and became inspired and trusting on the way down

I had gotten to the point where if I stayed where I was, I would die. I didn’t know how my life would look or who I would become in the process of changing, yet I knew if I was going to survive I had to become a radically different version of me.

Once I made that decision, I found the tools I was looking for that were relatable, fun and powerful. I began to change my thoughts, feelings and emotions and way of viewing the world.

After a while, instead of using personal development to escape the pain of my life, I became addicted to pursuing the highest version of myself and curious how much change and transformation I could create. I was having fun!

I began to ask what was possible for me I’d never imagined and realized that who I actually am is completely different from who I had thought I wanted to become. I discovered my soul purpose was connected to my inner work and my years of struggle and transformation meant that I had something valuable to offer others.

“What we are waiting for is not as important as what happens to us while we are waiting. Trust the process.” – Mandy Hale

3. I had the unshakeable belief something else was possible

As growth, healing, and expansion became my highest goal, the details filled themselves in. The right people and things showed up to trigger my growth and to support me which helped me be less fearful, and more able to give and receive love from others.

I lost layers of accumulated emotional garbage and started to connect with my power and purpose. I stopped telling my victim story (except to inspire others) and I began to trust myself and have faith in life again to have my back.

4. I made heaps of mistakes and instead of feeling bad about it, I felt determined, courageous and free

This part was tough. There were setbacks, embarrassments, discouragements and challenges but I wasn’t going to give in and quit.  

I had to suck at some things in order to get better. Creating a new life from scratch is a great way to lose ego. There were a few hurdles where I would get super upset, yet giving up was never an option.

There’s no point in being upset so I sucked it up and moved on. This takes courage and feels totally weird at first, but it is so worth it.

5. I became a new version of me

In the course of recreating myself, I began to develop new attributes. I was so focusing on changing, I didn’t notice what was different about me at first.

Every few months I would write my goals and it wasn’t until I would check them that I began to realize how much I’d accomplished in the process of changing me.

This became clearer whenever I would run across someone who I once looked up to because their life suddenly looked smaller than I remembered. While they had been comfortable and barely moving, I had plodded past them like the proverbial tortoise. As I stay on this trajectory, the benefits and changes multiply exponentially over time.

“Every day, you reinvent yourself. You’re always in motion. But you decide every day: forward or backward.” – James Altucher

6. I became open to new ideas and concepts

In the process of being cracked wide open by life, I became curious, accepting and interested in different ideas, concepts and techniques.

Things like manifesting, consciousness, spirituality and other ‘strange’ ideas became my friends.  After years of trying to create change via psychological means, effort, willpower and implementing traditional tools of personal development, I found my wheelhouse in the different.

Today I am grateful for my early adversity and my own persistence and determination. Without them, who I am today would have remained undiscovered and I wouldn’t get to do the cool stuff I do with other people. I am grateful for the amazing tools and information around today, which can make the journey so much easier.

What helps you keep moving when you feel like giving up? Let us know in the comments below!

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As Bad As Smoking? 3 Reasons to Occasionally Unplug From Technology

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A popular meme reads: “I’m having people over to stare at their phones later if you want to come by…” It’s kind of funny in an alarming way since many people would consider walking barefoot across flaming hot coals before parting with their smartphones for a few weeks.

As useful as things like the Internet and mobile devices are, taking time to occasionally unplug is a good habit. Even if for no other reason than to develop your willpower and avoid being too heavily addicted to your wireless toy.

Consider the following three reasons for periodically unplugging from technology and taking a minute to smell the roses:

1. Face-To-Face Interaction

As useful as social media is for things like marketing, maintaining contact with old friends and sending messages across the world in the blink of an eye, there’s no substitute for a friendly meeting and a firm handshake.

There are few things in life that have more potential to increase our happiness than building good relationships with the people around us. Taking the effort to postpone the reading and answering of your latest text message in order to listen and offer attention to the person in front of you can be a great way to improve relationships and show people you care.

If you want a more practical and success-driven reason, then consider the fact that developing a healthy network is one of the most powerful ways to successfully grow your business or career. Spending a business lunch or golf game glued to your touchscreen is a lousy way to build that network.

2. Creative Thinking

Creativity is another powerful asset in your effort to expand your success, solve your problems and increase your happiness. Getting in the habit of frequent, diligent reading (an activity often performed with mobile devices) is essential in developing your creative capacity. In addition, investing alone time to occasionally take a step back to think, review options and consider possible solutions towards life’s struggles is a great quality.

Making a habit of doing so can be beneficial for planning your career, planning an exciting night out on the town with your spouse, planning how to discipline your teenager and plenty more.

“Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart.” – Mencius

3. Health Concerns

The health risks caused by electromagnetic frequencies (EMFs) are numerous and not to be ignored. Health damaging EMFs are emitted by various types of electronic devices including cellphones, tablets and laptops among others. Although pretending these dangers don’t exist may seem convenient, there’s nothing convenient about dealing with the consequences. Some have even suggested that cell phones may eventually prove to be as cancerous as cigarettes. Don’t believe me?

In the book ‘The Non-Tinfoil Guide To EMFs’, Nicolas Pineault writes, “A $25M study performed by the US National Toxicology Program (NTP) studied the effects of exposing rats and mice to an amount of cellphone radiation equivalent to what a human would get by talking for 30 minutes a day, for 36 years.

“As reported by Microwave News: ‘The exposed rats were found to have higher rates of two types of cancers: glioma, a tumor of the glial cells in the brain, and malignant schwannoma of the heart, a very rare tumor. None of the unexposed control rats developed either type of tumor.’

“The irony is the whole reason John Bucher, the senior manager of the NTP study, wanted his agency to run this study is to prove once and for all that cellphones do not cause cancer.”

Swearing off technology is probably not the most practical solution. (Although if that’s your thing, then rock on.) That said, occasionally taking a break from technology and spending some time in nature might help counteract some of the negative effects.

Bonus: Stress Reduction

With so many people in our culture complaining of excessive stress and/or taking antidepressants, it makes sense to proactively take steps to reduce stress before it builds up so much that you experience a nervous breakdown.

I don’t know about you, but when I get away from the computer or turn off my mobile device for a bit, I can feel the difference. If I’ve been working on my laptop or tablet for too long, then getting away and taking a break offers a noticeable relief. I almost immediately feel calmer.

If you’ve been on your phone/tablet/computer for a while, consider taking a few minutes after you finish reading this article to leave technology behind and catch a breath of fresh air.

“The more ways we have to connect, the more many of us seem desperate to unplug.” – Pico Iyer

Are you ready to build stronger relationships? Are you ready to proactively develop creative solutions? Are you ready to start preserving your health? Are you ready to leave some of that stress behind you? If so, then it’s time to fit a periodical unplug into your schedule. You might be surprised by how much this helps.

How many hours of the day do you use your phone? Are you being productive on it? Let us know in the comments below so we can help one another.

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3 Ways to Have More Time by Living More Proactively

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We live in a reactive world. We feel compelled to check and respond to digital tools at a moment’s notice. A few minutes here and a few there checking email, responding to Slack messages, and replying to Facebook posts add up to a significant amount of time over the course of a day, week, and month. This precious time could be spent writing a book, training for a race, or being with your kids.

There’s a better way: live proactively. It means starting each day with purpose by taking control of what you do and when you do it. Embrace the proactive habits below and you’ll be amazed at what you accomplish.

1. Know Where Your Time Goes

It’s critical to start every day with a plan that details what you’re going to do and when. Take a few minutes each evening to create a schedule for the day ahead, hour-by-hour. Note your current commitments, like “meeting from 12pm to 1pm.” Then, give yourself large chunks of time to complete your priorities for the day.  

On Monday evening you plan your day for Tuesday, which could look something like this:

6am – 8am: Write draft of article

8am – 9am: Commute to work

9am – 11am: Write report

11am – 12pm: Attend meeting

You get the idea. Without a plan, it’s too easy to spend your days reacting to others: agreeing to take on a project or deciding to attend a last-minute meeting. This is a sure-fire way to unnecessarily drag out your days, leaving you with little time for anything else.

Planning your day takes a little upfront effort, but the results pay dividends in return. You’ll get a lot done in less time.

“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” – Benjamin Franklin

2. Determine When You’re Available to Communicate

You can’t be a hermit all day, every day. You’ll have to respond to people either personally or digitally at some point. That’s why you should determine in advance when you’re available to others to answer questions and discuss issues with friends and colleagues. Experiment and find a block of time that works for you, and include it in your daily schedule.

This proactive approach gives you a block of time to handle communication, instead of here and there throughout the day—a practice that can eat away at your day. Plus, using a block of time to handle correspondence sets the expectation for others: they can’t interrupt and pepper you all day long with questions.

3. Focus, Focus, Focus

Now that you’ve got a plan in place, it’s time to hone in on the details: do one task at a time. This way of working is at odds with the rest of the world, since it’s popular today to multitask. It’s common to see employees working on one monitor and responding to Slack messages on another. But there’s a problem with multitasking: it doesn’t work.

When we “multitask,” we’re not really doing multiple things at once. Rather, we’re doing “individual actions in rapid succession,” as pointed out by the Cleveland Clinic. We are in fact “mono-taskers.”

Eliminating digital distractions helps you to focus completely on the task at hand. Put your smartphone on silent and move it out of sight so you’re not tempted to check it while working. Close your email and Slack tabs. In other words, proactively eliminate digital and physical clutter, and you’ll find you get more quality work done when you focus and do things one at a time.

“What I’ve learned in these 11 years is you just got to stay focused and believe in yourself and trust your own ability and judgment.” – Mark Cuban

Above all, living proactively is a shift in mindset. Instead of saying “let’s see what blows up at the office today” and reacting to every whim, begin the day with purpose and be proactive with your time and attention—both are limited.

How do you make sure you use your time wisely? Let us know by commenting below!

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