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Wealth Lessons Everyone Should Hear for Every Stage of Your Life

Do you have the courage to rewrite your story?

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what i would tell my younger self

Do you see what I see? Likely not, as we each see ourselves through the lens of our own story.

Here’s a snapshot of mine.

I grew up lower middle class.  I was overweight and bullied in school, which had a lasting emotional effect well beyond the years of bullying. My mother was a homemaker and my dad worked around the clock so he was rarely home. 

After a defining moment involving being bullied and then being inspired by the movie sensation Rocky at the time, I laced up my tennis shoes and went for a run. From that day on, fitness became my church in many ways and it shaped my discipline. I thrived as a straight A student and then married and had my first child during my last year of college…1983. 

My career in wealth management followed a few years later along with my second child. My career and life have seen incredible lows….and highs! – the market crash of 2000-2002, the Great Recession from 2007-2009 and the COVID-19 Pandemic in 2020. 

I navigated a divorce, found love again (and we just celebrated our 17-year anniversary!) and became a father for a third time in my 50s. With all of its ups and downs, the one thing I know for sure is that I wouldn’t change any of it as it made me who I am today.

What I would share with my younger self

We often hear the phrase, “What would you tell your younger self?” For me, when I look in the mirror, I think about what I would tell myself at various stages in life like my 20s.

During this phase, it was all about the hustle, and there was no real balance. I feel like it was fight or flight mode all the time.

What I would tell my 20ish self:

  • Work to find balance – your happiness depends on it.
  • Live a little – laughter is like medicine.
  • Spend as much time with your kids as you can – it goes by SO quick!
  • Set goals and track them.
  • YOU are going to make it (be dedicated and consistent).

I was reflecting on my 30s and all of the lessons I learned in this period of time. It may have been a little rocky (yes that is a nod to the movie that inspired me to get fit), but by taking the lessons, I learned the value of learning versus winning.

If I was talking to my 30ish self I would say:

  • It’s better to cut your losses early – time is invaluable.
  • It’s okay to start over – failure isn’t final.
  • Eat more pizza – an indulgence here or there won’t derail you.

If you do what you love, you will never work a day in your life – are you working or doing what you love?
Integrity always- your reputation should be your most coveted possession – act accordingly.

I don’t know if its just me but in my 40s I realized that you need to channel grit to outlast life. Mentally, emotionally and physically I realized that longevity and sustainability in all ways was key.

If I had a chance to sit down with my 40ish self I would say:

  • Trust your gut – it’s usually right.
  • For every door that closes, another opens. Don’t be afraid of closed doors. They are redirections.
  • Life is a marathon, not a sprint – train accordingly every day.

My 50s were empowering – not because they were easy – but because I learned the importance of mastering uncertainty. In life, the one constant is change so if you can learn to master uncertainty, you are already ahead.

A few other things I learned in my 50s include:

  • You cannot control the market = it took me a long time to accept this but it is a universal truth.
  • Things don’t always turn out as planned – and that is ok – as they turned out as they were supposed to.
  • Be brave when others are fearful – after all, fear is often simply “false evidence appearing real,” as our minds like to create all sorts of stories.

Do you have the courage to rewrite your story? Today in my 60s I look back at myself on the day I laced up my tennis shoes and went on the shortest yet hardest run I have ever been on. I remember thinking…my life cannot always be this way. 

I have to create change. Were my runs easy while I was over weight? Did the bullying voices immediately go away? No. Change doesn’t happen overnight. It requires discipline, dedication and consistency. 

But am I grateful beyond measure that I put on my running shoes that day and committed to change? Yes. I can’t imagine where I would be today had I not made that decision. So, have the courage to rewrite your story if needed. No explanation necessary. Make the choice to make the change.

With over three decades of dedication and service, Bart A. Zandbergen is an esteemed Certified Financial Planner® and the Founder and CEO of The Zandbergen Group. As a nationally recognized authority in financial planning and investment advising, as well as a Certified Divorce Financial Advisor®, he has devoted his career to guiding clients to a life full of purpose and financial freedom through personalized financial planning. His integrity, laser sharp focus and skill at guiding his clientele’s financial future led to him being recognized as one of the nation’s top 1% of financial advisors, according to Forbes Magazine. Bart is also an accomplished public speaker; his expert point of view has been published in The New York Times, Forbes, The Orange County Register, Nobleman Magazine, Mensbook, Modern Luxury, Wellbeing Magazine, and Riviera.

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Success Advice

Signs You’re Ready for a More Purposeful Career

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Image Credit: Addicted2success

Doing well at something is not the same as wanting it. Plenty of people are steady at their jobs and still feel hollow at the end of the day. Nothing looks wrong from the outside. Colleagues respect you, the pay lands on time, and you handle whatever gets thrown your way. What builds underneath is harder to name.

A dullness sets in, or a restlessness, or the sense that you’re watching your own work from across the room. It doesn’t mean everything needs to be torn down. Often it just means you’ve stopped growing, and once that happens, what counts as worthwhile work quietly changes shape. 

When work shifts

There is usually no announcement. One day the tasks that once demanded your full attention take almost nothing out of you. Some people notice their focus sliding away from the work and toward the people around it. Wanting to mentor, listen, and help someone untangle a problem tells you something real about where your attention wants to go.

This lands hard in teaching. Class sizes and schedules leave little room for one student who needs an hour, and administrative work swallows the time you’d rather give them. Many educators respond by shifting from a teacher to a counselor, a role built around emotional and social support instead of lesson plans. The work runs deeper with each student and puts their wellbeing at the center of the day.

Changes like this rarely announce themselves loudly. They start as a small nudge you can brush off. Ignoring it gets harder as the months go by.

What purpose feels like

Most of the time it arrives quietly. A small exchange leaves you feeling like you were actually needed. You break down something complicated and watch it land. You steady someone who was spiraling. You point a person toward a way forward when they couldn’t see one. The tiredness afterward sits differently from the kind that flattens you.

Notice when you feel most switched on. Some people run best on targets, numbers, and systems that click into place. Others come alive guiding, backing someone up, keeping them going. Neither ranks above the other. They simply pull from different places.

Work that feels worthwhile usually reflects what you already care about. Value connection, trust, and steady growth, and a people-centered job will sit better than one measured purely in output. Perfection isn’t the goal. Honesty is.

Clues in your strengths

Patterns show up long before certainty does. Consider what people bring to you without being asked. Do friends start unloading before they’ve taken their coat off? Do colleagues mention how calmly you explain things? Are you the steady one while everyone else scatters like startled pigeons?

Pay attention to that. Support and guidance roles tend to grow out of qualities like these:

  • Patience when someone needs time
  • Empathy without absorbing everything
  • Clear communication
  • Real listening
  • Steadiness under pressure
  • Encouragement that doesn’t take over

Calling these soft undersells them. They carry weight because they help actual people get through difficult stretches. Technical knowledge can be added later. A steady, caring way with people is harder to teach, and having it already puts you closer to a new path than you might assume.

Why helping can grow

Roles built around helping tend to keep demanding more of you as a person. There’s no clocking in and ticking off a list. You get better at hearing what someone isn’t saying, at answering with more care, at reading people accurately. Growth like that outlasts any promotion.

Your motivation changes shape too. Pay and status stop being the whole scoreboard, and impact starts to matter. Did that person feel understood today? Did something hard get lighter because you were there? Questions like those keep the work from going flat.

None of which makes it effortless. The emotional load is real. Boundaries hold everything together, and so does proper rest. Choose a helping career with clear eyes, because meaning doesn’t cover lunch, sleep, or a life outside the job.

Testing the next step

Nothing has to be decided by next Tuesday. Small, low-stakes experiments beat dramatic leaps almost every time. Walk around in the shoes before entering the marathon.

Try a few of these:

  • Talk to someone doing the job now
  • Ask about ordinary days, not the highlights
  • Volunteer somewhere support is the point
  • Shadow a professional if you can arrange it
  • Sign up for one course
  • Note down what leaves you energized

Each one separates the imagined version from the real one. Occasionally a role loses its shine once you hear what the hours involve. Just as often, seeing it up close confirms what you suspected.

Stay curious rather than urgent. No contract is being signed. You’re collecting evidence, and evidence beats panic when a career decision is on the table.

Making change less scary

Fear arrives even when the change is a good one. Money, timing, family obligations, the thought of being a beginner again. None of that is irrational. Your brain is doing its job, protecting you, just with more theatrics than the situation calls for.

Size is usually the problem. “Should I change my whole life” is an unanswerable question, and holding it in your head produces nothing but dread. Narrow it until it becomes something you can act on this month. Build savings first. Find out what training actually requires. Set a six-month window and see what you learn inside it.

The fear rarely disappears entirely, and it doesn’t need to. It shrinks once the decision stops being one enormous leap and becomes a series of ordinary moves you can reverse if they don’t work.

Choosing a better fit

Borrowed definitions of success cause most of the trouble. Looking impressive while feeling depleted is a trade that stops paying off quickly. Your own version asks harder questions. Does this line up with what you care about? Does it draw on what you’re actually good at? Could you do it without performing a version of yourself all day?

Alignment matters more than ambition here. The goal is work that fits, that spends your energy well, that lets you be useful without straining for it.

That pull toward something more meaningful deserves attention rather than dismissal. Look into it. Give it time. The full map isn’t required. One honest step forward is usually enough to start.

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Success Advice

How to Prepare for a First Video Conversation Online

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Image Credit: Addicted2success

A first planned video conversation feels easier when the technical setup and basic expectations are handled in advance. A few practical checks reduce distractions and leave more attention for clear, respectful communication.

Prepare Before the Conversation

Before joining a scheduled conversation through a service such as Aveola, review the meeting details, your account profile, and the subjects you intend to discuss. Early preparation prevents last-minute searches for links, passwords, headphones, or background information.

Confirm the Time and Access

Check the date, time zone, expected duration, and correct access link. Add the appointment to a calendar with a reminder, then open the platform early enough to complete any sign-in or permission requests.

Confirm that your email address or phone number is verified when the service requires account verification. Use a unique password and activate two-factor authentication when that option is available.

Plan a Few Topics

Prepare two or three simple subjects that fit the reason for the conversation. For a professional call, these subjects might include responsibilities, project goals, or next steps. For a social discussion, hobbies, travel, books, music, or daily routines provide comfortable starting points. Avoid writing a full script. Short notes keep the exchange natural while giving you a reference if the discussion pauses.

Check Your Connection

A stable internet connection supports clearer sound and smoother video. Close large downloads, cloud backups, streaming services, and unused browser tabs before joining.

The table identifies common connection issues and practical responses:

Issue

Visible effect

Preparation step

Weak Wi-Fi signal

Frozen picture

Move closer to the router

Busy home network

Delayed sound

Pause other high-bandwidth activity

Outdated browser

Missing features

Install the current version

Low device power

Sudden disconnection

Charge the device beforehand

Set Up a Comfortable Space

The physical environment affects how clearly both people see and hear each other. Camera placement, light, sound, privacy controls, and personal limits deserve separate attention before the conversation begins.

Position the Camera

Place the camera close to eye level so your face remains centered without requiring you to look sharply upward or downward. A laptop stand, stable box, or adjustable monitor provides a better angle than holding a phone throughout the session.

Leave a small amount of space above your head and keep the lens clean. Look toward the camera while speaking, then return your attention to the screen while listening.

Improve the Lighting

Face a window or place a lamp in front of you, slightly above eye level. Strong light behind your chair creates a silhouette, while overhead lighting alone produces deep shadows around the eyes.

Review the preview screen before joining. Adjust the lamp, curtain, or seat position until facial details appear clear without excessive brightness.

Test the Sound

Use the platform preview or device settings to test the microphone and speakers. Speak at a normal volume and listen for echo, background noise, or distortion. Headphones reduce feedback when speakers sit close to the microphone. A quiet room with curtains, rugs, or soft furniture also limits reflected sound.

Protect Your Privacy

Review what the camera reveals before the conversation begins. Remove documents, photographs, screens, packages, or personal items that display sensitive information.

Five additional checks help protect your account and surroundings:

  • Disable location details that are unnecessary for the session.
  • Review camera and microphone permissions in the browser.
  • Use a background blur when the room contains private material.
  • Keep account recovery codes outside shared devices.
  • Sign out after using a borrowed computer or tablet.

Privacy settings also control profile visibility, notifications, and contact options. Read each setting carefully instead of relying on its default value.

Set Personal Boundaries

Decide in advance which subjects and personal details remain outside the discussion. A planned conversation does not require sharing an address, workplace schedule, financial information, private documents, or account credentials.

Set a clear time limit when your schedule requires one. A simple statement at the beginning, such as having 30 minutes available, gives both participants a shared expectation.

Keep the Conversation Comfortable

Preparation continues during the exchange through attentive communication and a calm response to technical interruptions. A small problem with sound or video does not need to disrupt the entire session.

Communicate Respectfully

Speak clearly, allow the other person to finish, and ask direct questions when something is unclear. Muting the microphone during unavoidable background noise keeps the conversation easier to follow. Consent remains relevant throughout live communication. Respect a request to change the topic, pause, disable a feature, or end the session.

Finish With Clear Next Steps

Before leaving, confirm any agreed action, future date, document, or contact method. This step prevents confusion after professional, educational, or project-related discussions.

End the session through the platform controls, close unnecessary tabs, and verify that the camera and microphone are no longer active. A brief review of what worked gives you a stronger routine for the next conversation.

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Success Advice

The Success Trap of Waiting Until Something Feels Wrong

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After enough years in medicine, you start to notice a pattern that has nothing to do with biology and everything to do with psychology. The most driven, capable people in the room are often the last ones to deal with a problem.

Not because they are careless. Usually it’s the opposite. They have built successful lives by pushing through discomfort, solving problems, and staying in motion when other people stop.

I still think about one patient from time to time, although the truth is I’ve seen versions of her story more times than I could count. She was building a company, or maybe it was her career, I don’t remember anymore, and she’d been ignoring a symptom for months. She knew it wasn’t normal. She’d caught it early, but there was always a reason to put it off. A launch, a deadline, an important meeting she couldn’t miss. In her mind, stopping even for a day felt like falling behind.

By the time she finally came in, the problem had grown into something much harder to treat than it needed to be. I never thought of her as careless, and I don’t think denial is the right word either. She was doing what had always worked for her: keep pushing, don’t get distracted by small problems, and deal with them later.

That habit that serves you so well at work doesn’t always serve you everywhere else. When it comes to your health, it can become part of the problem.

Why Ignoring Small Problems Feels Like Discipline

People who accomplish a lot usually learn early on that not every ache, inconvenience, or setback deserves their attention. If they stopped every time something felt a little off, they’d never get anything done. After a while, pushing through just becomes second nature, and that habit doesn’t stay at work. It follows them everywhere else.

The problem is that this instinct doesn’t know the difference between grit and denial. Grit is choosing to endure something hard that you understand and have decided is worth enduring. Denial is ignoring a signal you never actually evaluated. They can feel identical in the moment, which is exactly why so many capable people confuse them.

This happens constantly, and not just when it comes to personal health. A founder notices the same customer complaints showing up every month, but keeps writing them off because fixing them would mean admitting there’s a problem with the product. An executive is surviving on four hours of sleep because it’s “just a busy season,” even though that season has lasted the better part of a year. Someone else has been living with the same symptom for months because making an appointment feels like one more thing they don’t have time for.

None of them are being careless. They’re using the same mindset that helps them succeed at work in a situation where it just doesn’t fit.

The Hidden Cost of Living Reactively

The real cost of reactive living isn’t the eventual crisis. It’s everything that happens before the crisis, which is usually invisible even to the person paying for it.

Living reactively means a portion of your attention is always spent managing something you haven’t dealt with yet. That’s a tax you pay daily, in the form of decisions made from a place of low-grade dread instead of clarity, in the form of energy that should be going toward your best work instead going toward keeping a problem contained. You don’t usually notice this tax because it doesn’t announce itself. It just quietly reduces how much of you is available for the things that matter.

This pattern plays out with health the same way it does in business. Very few of the serious conditions I’ve treated appeared overnight. Most started small, were easy to dismiss, and stayed that way for longer than people expected. Your body usually gives you plenty of chances to notice something is wrong before it forces you to pay attention.

Prevention Is the Highest Leverage Work You’ll Ever Do

Meanwhile, we celebrate the comeback, the turnaround, the crisis survived. Nobody publishes a book about the disaster that never happened because someone handled it early.

But prevention is the harder, more advanced skill. Crisis response gets you sympathy and a story. Prevention requires you to act on something before it’s demanding your attention, with no audience and no applause, purely because you understand what will happen if you don’t. That takes a kind of self-management that most people never develop, because it isn’t rewarded the way heroics are.

The best leaders and founders don’t actually handle crises better than everyone else, they just have fewer of them because they treat maintenance as a strategy rather than as something to get to eventually. They ask what a version of themselves with more information would already know, and then they go find that information instead of waiting for it to force its way in.

What This Looks Like in Practice

If any of this sounds familiar, you don’t need to turn your life upside down. Start small. Every few months, take a little time to think about the things you’ve been putting up with instead of dealing with. It could be your health, something at work, your finances, or even a relationship that’s been quietly wearing you down.

The most useful question to ask yourself is a simple one: Am I choosing to put up with this, or am I just avoiding it? Those two things can feel surprisingly similar when you’re in the middle of them, but they aren’t the same. One is intentional. The other usually catches up with you sooner or later.

A Different Definition of Strength

We tend to define strength as the ability to endure. I’d argue the more useful definition is the ability to notice early and act before you have to endure anything at all.

The people I’ve seen build businesses, careers, and even healthy lives over the long term usually aren’t the ones who can take the biggest hit. More often than not, they’re the ones who dealt with small problems before those problems had a chance to grow. It isn’t the most exciting approach or the one that tells the grandest story, but it’s the reason they stay healthy and keep moving forward.

Next time you brush off a small warning sign, ask yourself why you’re ignoring your body’s signals. Most of the time, you’ll likely find that it has less to do with your schedule and more to do with clinging to the identity of being someone who never needs to slow down.

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Success Advice

How Teams Create Their Own Legacy Systems and How to Leave Them Behind

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Legacy systems are not only old software left by someone else. Many teams create their own legacy after a fast launch. The product still works, but every change takes longer. People work hard, and delivery still slows down.This article explains how that happens, how to spot it, and how to plan a rewrite without stopping the business.

What a Legacy System Looks Like in Practice

A legacy system is software that costs more to change than it should. Age is not the main test. The real test is whether the team can still deliver at a normal pace.

Common signs are practical. The tech stack is hard for the current team to work with. Unused parts of the product stay in place because nobody is sure what will break. Tests exist, but they do not catch real problems. Only a few people understand how the system works. Small features take several sprints, and the team spends more time fighting the system than improving the product.

When effort goes up and output goes down, the system has become legacy for your team.

How a Fast Start Turns Into Legacy

Many teams do not inherit legacy. They create it while trying to move fast.

A common path looks like this. You need users quickly, so you build on an existing solution instead of starting from scratch. In the first months, that works. You ship. You get feedback. The decision looks smart.

Later, the same decision slows you down. The base system was not built for your roadmap, your team’s skills, or your quality needs. What helped you launch now blocks simple changes.Teams often stay with that base too long because the early result was real. Rewriting feels like throwing away progress. So they keep the old foundation even after it stops helping.

Why Teams Keep Patching

Most teams do not decide to live with legacy. They decide to make one more fix.

A patch looks cheaper and safer than a rewrite. It also avoids a hard discussion about stopping work on the current system. For a while, that can be the right call.

After a point, patches add more complexity than they remove. Each fix creates new constraints. The team spends its best time keeping the old system stable instead of building useful product work.

One clear signal is when a basic feature can no longer reach production in a normal cycle. There may be no major outage. There is just steady delay. At that point, the choice is usually simple: keep paying the cost of the current system, or test a rewrite under clear rules. If delivery has already stalled, some teams also need help to stabilize a software project before the next big decision.

Treat a Rewrite as an Experiment

A full rewrite can fail if it has no limits. Some rewrites never reach users and waste months. That risk is real. Staying in legacy forever has a cost too.

A better approach is to treat the rewrite as an experiment. Set a clear scope for the first version. Review progress every week with demos people can see. Track how much work actually gets finished, not only how busy the team looks. Keep the old system running until the new one is ready. Do not freeze the business while the team rebuilds in private.

This makes the decision easier to manage. Stakeholders can judge real progress. If pace and quality improve, continue. If not, stop before the rewrite becomes its own long project with no end date.

Describe the Product You Want Before You Rebuild

Many rewrite projects fail because the team copies the old system as it is.

Legacy code shows how the product works today. It does not always show why a feature exists, or which parts are leftovers from old decisions. If you rebuild only from the old code, you may also rebuild old bugs and unused paths.

A clearer method is to describe the product you want first. Who uses it. What should happen. What you will leave out. Write that down so business and engineering share the same scope. Then decide how to build it.

This matters even more when teams can generate code quickly. Fast output without a clear product description can create a new legacy system sooner. Speed helps only when the goal is clear and shared.

Keep the Old System Running Until the New One Is Ready

Leaving a legacy system does not mean turning it off on day one. Customers still need a working product.Keep the old system live while the new one is built and checked. Release small pieces that prove the new system works. Review quality and pace often. Switch when the new product can support real use, not when the plan looks good on paper.

The goal is a clean handoff, not a dramatic shutdown.

Conclusion

Legacy is not only software you inherit. It is often software your own fast start created.If the team is busy and delivery keeps slowing down, do not assume another patch will solve it. Look at the cost of staying. If a rewrite makes sense, run it as a short, visible experiment. Describe the product you want. Keep the old system online until the new one can take over.

The useful skill is noticing when the system that once helped you launch now blocks progress, and changing course before that cost gets worse.

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