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How to Be at Your Best When Bad Things Are Happening



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The past two years have been challenging to say the least. Between people losing their jobs, businesses going under, and the medical condition of the world threatening our freedoms, it’s been a significant amount of trauma for us to adapt to as a collective. On the positive side of things, if anything, the last two years have taught us the power of resilience.

But surviving isn’t enough. Making it through is not a way of life. So how can you learn to be at your best when bad things are happening to and around you? How can you show up for yourself to make sure that you’re in the best possible position to be nimble and pivot as necessary, but also stay in alignment with who you really are?

These are the secrets to staying at the top of your game when life gets extra challenging.

What it takes to be at your best

When life has a season that drops you to your knees repeatedly, the very first thing you want to do is go back to basics because when things get tough, your mind defaults back to your most engrained coping habits—ranging from counter-productive to dangerously destructive. This can look like cutting back on sleep, bingeing TV shows for an escape, and isolating yourself from others. People also tend to eat comfort foods like mac and cheese, fried chicken, and ice cream that makes them feel safe but doesn’t actually support their bodies. 

Having moments of these things is okay. Everyone needs a break sometimes. But if these have become your main coping mechanisms, it’s time to go back to basics so that you’re supporting a strong, healthy nervous system that can help you manage the stress. 

Things like eating nutrient-dense food, getting high-quality (and enough) sleep, and caring for your body well are important factors in your stress management, as well as keeping yourself adaptable. Caring for your body can look like a lot of different things. This may mean going out in nature for a bit every day, getting massages to help release tension from your muscles, or exercising so that your body is strong enough to handle what life throws at you. Pay attention to the activities that make your body feel supported and build those into your schedule as non-negotiables.

To take this to the next level, build in practices that take care of your mind and manage your energy. Your mind affects your body. If you want your machine to run properly, you have to take care of its operating system—your mind. You can do this through journaling, meditation, conversations, personal development work, and learning new skills to keep your mind in tip-top shape. Likewise, you need to pay attention to your energy and how you spend it. There are certain things that will cost you more energy than others, even if those activities take the same amount of time. For example, it may take you less energy to read a book for an hour than it does to have a conversation with your mother for an hour. When you understand how you spend energy, you’re able to craft your days more intentionally so that you don’t overspend one day and rob yourself of energy for the rest of the week.

All of these things will strengthen your base so that when things go wrong, you have the best chance at handling them.

“Your reality is as you perceive it to be. So it is true, that by altering this perception we can alter our reality.” -William Constantine

Emergency catches

On top of having a solid foundation, you need practices in your toolbox that can catch you in an emergency. Those practices you can do when things hit the fan and you need help now. Our two favorite categories of emergency catches are grounding and breathing exercises.

If you haven’t taught yourself to consciously breathe, you’re likely a shallow breather. That means you breathe into your chest without inhaling fully. Proper breathing goes deeper into the belly, making the diaphragm move. This is how you properly oxygenate your blood, body, and brain. This matters because deep breathing can actually help you release stress, which promotes a healthier immune system. Breathing exercises like laying on your back, placing your hands on your lower abdomen, and breathing into your hands to push them away from you for a count of eight on the inhale, hold for four, and exhale for eight will help you develop deeper breathing habits.

Grounding exercises are also great in emergency situations. In times of trauma or stress, people can disassociate from their bodies. This means that the world may not feel real to you, it can seem as if you’re outside of your body, or you may not be experiencing reality as it truly is because of the disconnect from the feelings of your body. Things can go blank and your mind can refuse to focus. If you struggle with these things, grounding exercises can help you by bringing awareness back to your body. This is especially important to note if you find yourself in the space of needing to make a decision. Your body gives you information through your feelings. If you’re disconnected from your body, it becomes difficult to read those signs which can lead to making misaligned choices or having a skewed perspective. By grounding your body, you reconnect to its messages and can make better choices.

One grounding exercise is to sit comfortably and every part of your body that is touching the floor, imagine it growing roots into the earth. Imagine those roots pull in the nutrients and nurturing of the Earth’s pulse, as you bring your awareness to your breath. Feel what it’s like to breathe deeply into your belly. Pay attention to how your rib cage expands. Then consciously start to release any tension you feel in your feet, then your calves, then your thighs, and work all the way up your body. By putting your focus on your body, you bring yourself back to the present moment and fill up your vessel.

It’s important to remember that not everything needs a response now. Coming from a place of calm is better than operating from a place of fear or anger. If your emotions start tipping that way, these are powerful exercises to implement into your toolbox.

The daily energy practice that is often overlooked

There are powerful ways to shift and direct your energy. One of the most overlooked practices that you can implement is the power of the spoken word. 

Your voice has resonance, which means that you can command your energy to focus in a specific way using your voice. Remember, your mind is the facilitator of body health. So when you take time in your day to take your thoughts and put them into spoken words to direct energy, you can create change. 

For example, if you feel tired you can command energy to refill your energy levels. If you feel like there is negative energy in your space, you can command that energy to leave, and for the space to be filled with bliss and peace. Keep in mind that you must believe in what you are saying for this to change your reality. 

This takes time and practice, and that’s okay. Results come from consistent action, and this spoken word energy clearing will create results the more often you use it.

Dov Magit and Nicole Perretti are consciousness mentors using their more than a decade of experience in spirituality, energy, leadership, and relationships to help Spirit seekers to come into alignment with their purpose, shatter their self-sabotaging limitations, and facilitate their unique healing process through the Core Release Method™. Dov and Nicole lift their people up from fear, doubt, and panic into a space of empowerment, acceptance, and prosperity. If you're ready to expand your consciousness, click here to get Dov and Nicole's Twin Flame Audio Activation: 

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The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.



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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.



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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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