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Important Lessons to Be Learned From Anna Delvey

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Image Credit: Netflix Inventing Anna

With the latest Netflix binge show hitting screens, there is not one person who hasn’t heard the name Anna Delvey of late. Anna Delvey first came to my attention years ago when I was scrolling through a news site and came across her story. The pretend German Heiress managed to swindle thousands of dollars from America’s elite, and sure, while I in no way support her methods of making money, I couldn’t help but wonder how she managed to pull it off for as long as she did. But, more than that, I was thoroughly impressed with the belief she had of herself and the ‘fake it till you make it’ approach.

Success or failure

You see, our belief system is the number factor in whether we succeed or fail in our endeavours and life in general. After spending the last few years coaching clients on how to overcome their self-limiting beliefs and harness the power of the mind, it was no surprise when I delved deeper into the brand that has become ‘Anna Delvey’ that I realised she was, in fact, using a similar approach to get to where she wanted to be. And no, I am not breeding a bunch of criminal masterminds to achieve their life goals by engaging in illegal activities through my coaching business.

But credit where it’s due, Anna Delvey had the confidence and belief system that most people can only dream of.

Believe in you

If you want to achieve your goals, you need to believe in yourself and have the confidence to match. An individual who sets a goal for themselves and then quits at first sight of defeat is one who has not yet mastered their belief system. Believing in yourself is the first step to succeeding and living your dream life.

Many years ago, when I was a grad fresh out of university, I wanted to get a job in the field I had studied. Well, surprise, like many other grads, I was forced to take a role in customer service to pay my bills until I could get into my chosen field. My day entailed listening to annoying people whine about anything and everything. I even remember a lady ringing up one day, wanting to put in a noise complaint about children making too much noise playing in their front yard. Who even does that?

Don’t lose faith

While the role I was working in could’ve made me question my existence, I focussed on my bigger goals. I had faith in my ability to get to where I needed to be and knew I would reach my destination. And guess what I did! The same applies to you, do not let temporary defeat ruin your faith or question your capabilities. As long as you focus on the end result and believe in your abilities, you will get to where you need to be.

“Successful people have fear, successful people have doubts, and successful people have worries. They just don’t let these feelings stop them.” – T. Harv Eker

Let go of your fears

Another barrier to having a solid belief system and succeeding is fear. Fear is the root of all failures and what holds an individual back from achieving their goals. The fear of making a mistake, not knowing how to do something, the list is endless, but your time is not. Richard Branson said: If someone offers you an amazing opportunity and you’re not sure you can do it, say yes- then learn how to do it later. 

And guess what, he’s right.

Do not let fear limit your opportunity to grow. If you choose to let go of the fear that holds you back and take a leap of faith, there are endless opportunities available to you.

Do not let the opinions of others control you

Everyone has an opinion of someone or something; heck, you might even have an opinion of me by the articles I write. Whatever the case may be, it is crucial to have healthy boundaries with those around you, including the faceless trolls on social media if you’re in the public eye. Learn that the opinions that others have of you are built on the image THEY have created of you in THEIR minds. You see, you can’t control what an individual may think of you, but you can control the opinions you have of YOURSELF! So, just like you wouldn’t drink poison and allow it into your body, don’t let the negative thoughts of others into your mind.

You need to focus on your own opinion of yourself and what you can do.

You can achieve great things if you put your mind to it and have a strong belief system, just don’t go around trying to defraud America’s elite of thousands of dollars or try to achieve your goals by other means of illegal activities. One thing is for sure, though, love or loathe ‘Anna Delvey,’ the one lesson you can take away from her is how you can bring your goals into reality with a strong belief system.

Filiz Behaettin is a best-selling author, freelance writer and speaker. Her latest book 'Elevate: the practical guide to living your best life and succeeding' is available at most bookstores including Barnes and Noble. Filiz offers 1-on-1 mentoring and consulting services, copywriting, editing and manuscript services. She is also available for corporate speaking engagements and school visits. You can contact Filiz at www.filizbauthor.com or follow her at www.instagram.com/filiz.b_author

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
Image Credit: Midjourney

Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
Image Credit: Midjourney

“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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