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How to Lose and Still Be a Winner

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You may be wondering, How does one lose and still be a winner? Surely once a person has suffered defeat, they are deemed the “loser” of the bout right? In the tangible sense, this would hold true. However, one can take a loss and still be considered a winner based on their reaction to losing.

There are several instances in life besides sports and friendly competitions in which we would say we took a loss. For example, not getting selected after an interview for your dream job, getting rejected by a girl after mustering up the courage to speak to her, receiving a lower grade than you expected on a project you spent several weeks creating, and many other areas in your life where you have fallen short of your goal.

These failures and shortcomings are just a few examples of what humans experience daily. Some handle these losses better than others and will usually find ways to learn from their mistakes. From there, self-improvement develops. Thus resulting in a higher chance of success when another opportunity arises.

True winners understand that there is no victory without struggle. Those who adopt that mentality will benefit greatly.

A Loss Doesn’t Define Who You Are

To remain a winner after a loss, you must realize that a loss or failure doesn’t determine who you are as a person. Just because you didn’t make the basketball team doesn’t mean you weren’t meant to be on the team.

The coach may have decided that you lack a particular skill or ability that he seeks within his players. Use that opportunity, not to quit and self-loathe, but to continue improving your skills.

A true winner knows that when plan A doesn’t work, he doesn’t automatically switch to plan B. He goes back to plan A and revises it relentlessly until he crafts a strategy that will be more effective. Your instructor told you that your art didn’t qualify for the competition? Don’t give up and throw your canvas away. Keep pushing every day, not to satisfy your instructor, but to instill in yourself that one loss will not prohibit further growth.

You will improve immensely as you continue to work on your craft for the many months and years to come. Never let a loss paralyze you and make you feel incapable of improvement. There will be more opportunities to give it another shot, but only if you are willing to accept your losses and persevere.

“If There Is No Struggle, There Is No Progress.” – Frederick Douglass

True Winners Have Taken More Losses Than They Can Remember

Anyone who is a master of their craft was once a student in that field. Anyone who is successful knows that on the road to success, it is inevitable that you will take a certain amount of losses before the victories begin to take place.

This ability to take losses over and over again separates those who will eventually quit from those who will carefully evaluate each loss and find an alternate route to success. When you develop this pattern of thinking, you begin to realize that losses are virtually wins within themselves because each loss reveals the methods that DON’T work.

Treat each loss as a lesson. From there you can eliminate all the processes that don’t work and take note of the ones that do work until you have established a system that will lead you to victory.

In order for this to happen, you must be prepared to go through the dreadful process of taking countless losses.

Effort Is Beautiful

Even if you lose you should be proud of yourself for making an attempt. If you asked your boss for a raise and he declined, congratulations on your effort.

There are people out there in a similar predicament who wish they had the same courage to do what you did. The results of your failed effort may sting or feel uncomfortable in the moment, but the feeling will subside.

There will be times when you are ridiculed, criticized or laughed at. You can either let it motivate you or hold you back, the choice is yours. Putting your fear to the side and exhibiting your best effort will always give you a greater chance of succeeding when the opportunity presents itself. To be the best you have to try and fail, but never fail to try.

“Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

Some Things Are Out Of Your Control

The worst thing you can do is blame yourself for something that is out of your control. There will be numerous instances where you put in tremendous effort and still fall short of your goal.

You may be assigned to a group project in which you spend a considerable amount of time working on your part of the project, only to find out that when it’s time to present, your peers have not fulfilled the responsibilities they committed to, resulting in a poor grade for everyone involved.

No matter how stern and diligent you are in reminding your peers of their responsibilities, you have no control if they will follow through with them. It’s in these moments that we must remind ourselves that there will be things that affect us that are outside of our control.

If a similar situation arises, you will know to communicate your problems to your instructor beforehand to ensure they are aware and can possibly eradicate the issue. What separates winners from losers is the ability to accept what can’t be controlled and putting a concentrated effort into working on all the things they do have control over.

Accept Your Losses With The Same Attitude That You Accept Your Victories

The mark of a champion lies in his ability to handle defeat. He doesn’t blame others for his losses. Instead, he embraces the loss, as tough as it is because he knows that a loss isn’t a direct reflection of who he is, neither is a win. If you are relentless in your efforts to improving yourself, then there is a much better chance that you will win time after time.

At the end of the day, a win or a loss is only a judgment of a result. A person’s character and how they accept their wins and losses will reveal if they are a true winner or not.  If you want to be the best at winning, you must learn how to be the best at losing as well.

How has losing lead you to become a winner? Please leave your thoughts below!

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A Simple but Effective Technique to Be More Confident

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Many people want to learn how to be confident in different situations, but it’s not always easy. Maybe we’re too addicted to comparing ourselves or maybe social media has brainwashed us to believe that we should all be rich, famous, and in incredible shape. (more…)

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Knowing Your Message vs Delivering Your Message

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Have you ever sent a text message only to have it misinterpreted by the person reading it? Happens all the time. Have you ever given a presentation that you were totally prepared for only to have it fall flat? Happens all the time. Have you ever had someone ask you something like, “Why are you mad?” when you were not at all mad? Happens all the time. (more…)

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The 3 Most Important Things I Learned About Personal Growth

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When you look back on your life, what do you want to think about? Do you plan to reminisce on all of the good things that have happened and how they shaped who you are today? Or would you rather remember all of the bad decisions, challenging experiences, and mistakes made that hurt or wasted a portion of your life?

In my opinion, I think it is important to reflect on both. While it’s important to remember the hardships we’ve been through in our lives – without them we wouldn’t be where we are now. There are 3 very specific areas that I feel have helped me grow in a personal sense more than anything else in my life so far. 

These aren’t simple lessons in a book or a lecture that you can just absorb and apply to your life. These are things that I’ve learned through experience and reflection, and I’m still learning and growing today.

1. We determine how much we’re worth by what we think about ourselves, others, and life in general.

This might seem like a pretty obvious lesson in life but it’s actually one of the most important because we can determine our own worth by how we think about ourselves and the world around us. If you’re looking for success in any kind of business or social setting (dating), then I’ll tell you right now that it doesn’t matter if you have 10 billion dollars or not – people are still going to judge you based on your thoughts and beliefs alone.

What determines our value isn’t necessarily what we do with our lives (which is often based on luck) but whether or not we believe that ‘our work’ is worthy or not in some sort of grand scheme or universe. We may not always be able to control what happens in our lives, but we can always control how we value ourselves and others.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou

2. You don’t have to change your habits or personality just because someone else doesn’t like it – their opinions are THEIRS alone.

This is another one of those lessons that people tend to pick up on a little bit late in life, but if anything that makes its importance even worse! Basically, there’s going to come a time when you’re going to meet someone who has certain expectations of you as a person…but these expectations might not be realistic due to their motivations and personal beliefs. For example, sometimes parents might expect you to be a lawyer or doctor because that’s what they believe is best for their child.

However, this isn’t the case for everyone and so maybe your passion lies in music or writing novels. In this example, if you were also pressured into becoming a doctor – then there would obviously be some kind of conflict going on within yourself as a person. You should never have to give up something that you want to do just because someone else doesn’t like it! The reason why we’re put onto this Earth is to make our own choices and go after our OWN dreams instead of letting others determine what we can and cannot do with our lives .

3. You can’t change your life until you accept that you need to make a change.

When I was younger, I thought that this lesson would be pretty obvious – but as I got older, it really made me appreciate the fact that there are always different ways of perceiving our lives. For example, if someone wants to become rich and famous one day – their mind might simply overshadow any other possibility in their head because they feel like this is what they NEED to do right now.

However, this isn’t always true within our own lives because we think about things too literally instead of having an open mind. If you want to achieve success in any kind of business or social setting (dating) then you should be willing to try out different things instead of staying in your comfort zone. If you want something, then it’s up to YOU to actually go after it – nobody else is going to give it to you!

The three lessons above are some of the main things I want to pass on to everyone because they’ve come at an important time in my life where I need to start thinking about others instead of only myself. It’s great if we can learn to love ourselves first before anything else, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect everyone around you even though they might be your friends and family members!

If you enjoyed this article on the 3 most important things I learned about personal growth, then please share it with your friends and family! Also, check out my other articles on success & motivation as well as life lessons that could help people who are struggling with their life right now on lifengoal.com. Thanks for reading!

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​​4 Boss Level Growth Strategies That Create an Optimized Life

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Building a business is about more than sales, marketing, and flexing on social media. While those things tend to draw attention, they attract the wrong type of clients and are not how you build a sustainable and freedom-focused business. (more…)

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