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How to Lose and Still Be a Winner

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You may be wondering, How does one lose and still be a winner? Surely once a person has suffered defeat, they are deemed the “loser” of the bout right? In the tangible sense, this would hold true. However, one can take a loss and still be considered a winner based on their reaction to losing.

There are several instances in life besides sports and friendly competitions in which we would say we took a loss. For example, not getting selected after an interview for your dream job, getting rejected by a girl after mustering up the courage to speak to her, receiving a lower grade than you expected on a project you spent several weeks creating, and many other areas in your life where you have fallen short of your goal.

These failures and shortcomings are just a few examples of what humans experience daily. Some handle these losses better than others and will usually find ways to learn from their mistakes. From there, self-improvement develops. Thus resulting in a higher chance of success when another opportunity arises.

True winners understand that there is no victory without struggle. Those who adopt that mentality will benefit greatly.

A Loss Doesn’t Define Who You Are

To remain a winner after a loss, you must realize that a loss or failure doesn’t determine who you are as a person. Just because you didn’t make the basketball team doesn’t mean you weren’t meant to be on the team.

The coach may have decided that you lack a particular skill or ability that he seeks within his players. Use that opportunity, not to quit and self-loathe, but to continue improving your skills.

A true winner knows that when plan A doesn’t work, he doesn’t automatically switch to plan B. He goes back to plan A and revises it relentlessly until he crafts a strategy that will be more effective. Your instructor told you that your art didn’t qualify for the competition? Don’t give up and throw your canvas away. Keep pushing every day, not to satisfy your instructor, but to instill in yourself that one loss will not prohibit further growth.

You will improve immensely as you continue to work on your craft for the many months and years to come. Never let a loss paralyze you and make you feel incapable of improvement. There will be more opportunities to give it another shot, but only if you are willing to accept your losses and persevere.

“If There Is No Struggle, There Is No Progress.” – Frederick Douglass

True Winners Have Taken More Losses Than They Can Remember

Anyone who is a master of their craft was once a student in that field. Anyone who is successful knows that on the road to success, it is inevitable that you will take a certain amount of losses before the victories begin to take place.

This ability to take losses over and over again separates those who will eventually quit from those who will carefully evaluate each loss and find an alternate route to success. When you develop this pattern of thinking, you begin to realize that losses are virtually wins within themselves because each loss reveals the methods that DON’T work.

Treat each loss as a lesson. From there you can eliminate all the processes that don’t work and take note of the ones that do work until you have established a system that will lead you to victory.

In order for this to happen, you must be prepared to go through the dreadful process of taking countless losses.

Effort Is Beautiful

Even if you lose you should be proud of yourself for making an attempt. If you asked your boss for a raise and he declined, congratulations on your effort.

There are people out there in a similar predicament who wish they had the same courage to do what you did. The results of your failed effort may sting or feel uncomfortable in the moment, but the feeling will subside.

There will be times when you are ridiculed, criticized or laughed at. You can either let it motivate you or hold you back, the choice is yours. Putting your fear to the side and exhibiting your best effort will always give you a greater chance of succeeding when the opportunity presents itself. To be the best you have to try and fail, but never fail to try.

“Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

Some Things Are Out Of Your Control

The worst thing you can do is blame yourself for something that is out of your control. There will be numerous instances where you put in tremendous effort and still fall short of your goal.

You may be assigned to a group project in which you spend a considerable amount of time working on your part of the project, only to find out that when it’s time to present, your peers have not fulfilled the responsibilities they committed to, resulting in a poor grade for everyone involved.

No matter how stern and diligent you are in reminding your peers of their responsibilities, you have no control if they will follow through with them. It’s in these moments that we must remind ourselves that there will be things that affect us that are outside of our control.

If a similar situation arises, you will know to communicate your problems to your instructor beforehand to ensure they are aware and can possibly eradicate the issue. What separates winners from losers is the ability to accept what can’t be controlled and putting a concentrated effort into working on all the things they do have control over.

Accept Your Losses With The Same Attitude That You Accept Your Victories

The mark of a champion lies in his ability to handle defeat. He doesn’t blame others for his losses. Instead, he embraces the loss, as tough as it is because he knows that a loss isn’t a direct reflection of who he is, neither is a win. If you are relentless in your efforts to improving yourself, then there is a much better chance that you will win time after time.

At the end of the day, a win or a loss is only a judgment of a result. A person’s character and how they accept their wins and losses will reveal if they are a true winner or not.  If you want to be the best at winning, you must learn how to be the best at losing as well.

How has losing lead you to become a winner? Please leave your thoughts below!
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1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Lady Anne

    Jun 1, 2017 at 2:49 am

    Awesome! Beautifully writen. I’ll come back and read this whenever I feel down.

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Life

How to Write a Personal Destiny Statement in 3 Steps

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We all have a God-given destiny to fulfill that we were each born with. I personally believe it is buried deep down within us. The number one secret to success is to let it emerge out of you and release it to the world. What is my destiny you may ask? It is the thing you would regret not doing before leaving Planet Earth. (more…)

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Don’t Want To Feel Like A Failure Anymore? Stop Doing These 6 Things

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It’s pretty annoying isn’t it? All those great and accomplished people telling you that FAILURE is a necessity on your way to success. Yeah, that’s easy for them to say; they’re already ‘on the other side’! You on the other hand, are still struggling all day everyday to get your business lifted off the ground and are really not that sure if you’re indeed going to make it.

There’s that little voice in your head that keeps telling you that you don’t have the stuff to make it all happen. Not now and not ever. You feel like a failure…it’s holding you back and you don’t know how to deal with it. Well you could do yourself a favor and start dealing with it by doing the following things:

1. Stop Denying You Feel Like A Failure

Telling yourself things are going great when they’re not is one of the biggest, though most useless, coping mechanisms human beings deploy in rough times. Common denial signals among entrepreneurs: trying to regain more control by working even more hours and on the other side compensating this by letting go of all this control by partying and drinking way too hard.

What you’re doing is denying yourself the opportunity to actually feel what’s going on and acknowledge the problem; that both you and your business are in a bad place. Without acknowledging it, it’ll be pretty difficult to actually STOP feeling it. And remember, just because you feel like a failure, this does not mean that you indeed ARE a failure!

2. Stop Making It Bigger Than it Really Is

This is one of those other ‘fun’ things human beings do; we blow things way out of proportion in our heads! In business, when you lose that big client you’ve been working on for weeks, it feels like it’s the end of the world. You start doubting yourself, your strategy, your entire business model right up to the point where you barely sleep because you’re working on pivoting the whole thing.

But what if that customer simply didn’t have the money to go for your service anyway? Or what if they just decided to go for someone who is cheaper but who offers less quality? Does that mean there’s something wrong with YOU? Or that this was the ONLY customer out there and that you’re now doomed forever?

Of course not, it simply means that THIS CUSTOMER wasn’t a match. It’s a bit like dating actually…So if you take this into consideration, could it be that you just feel like a failure instead of really not succeeding in that what you want to at this point in time?

3. Stop Thinking You’re The Only One Who Feels Like This

You’re not! With the possible exception of the true sociopaths, that feeling you’re feeling is very normal to EVERYONE. It might not seem like it on the outside – because people don’t like to acknowledge this remember – but I can guarantee you that it’s true. But unlike 99% of the world’s population, YOU’RE not going to let this feeling stop you in your tracks. Are you?

4. Stop Thinking You’re Supposed To Be Superhuman

In fact, it’s very likely that you’re already doing, learning and succeeding at WAY more than most other people are. But for entrepreneurs, somehow, that never seems to be enough. You don’t just want to be successful after a few years of hard work (which is normal). You want to be successful after only a few months. Because you’re special…or at least you think you are…

Well, here’s the truth: you ARE special! But…it’s just not very likely that you’re one of those – very very rare – entrepreneurial superstars that – seemingly – just added some hot water and got instant business success as a result.

5. Stop Being So Incredibly Stubborn

Entrepreneurs are stubborn…almost by default. It’s what makes them push forward in the hardest of times. But…if you’re not doing the right things right you might just be hammering a square peg through a round hole. Which will only add to that frustrated feeling you’re already having. So why not stop being so stubborn for a moment, stop hammering away on that what obviously is not working and ask for help?

No matter who you ask – a business mentor or coach, a befriended entrepreneur – someone with a neutral perspective on you and our business will be very likely to see what’s going on with a lot more clarity than you can and can guide you to a place that will feel a whole lot more comfortable.

6. Stop Being Afraid Of Failure

I know, I know, you’ve heard this a million times before and you wouldn’t be in this pickle if you could do this. Right? I’m right there with ya!

But, if you get really rational about it, what’s the worst that could happen?

  • You might have to get a ‘real’ job for a while and start over on the side;
  • You might not be able to afford your rent anymore…but with Airbnb on the 1 hand and couchsurfing on the other, you should be able to work it out somehow;
  • You’ll have all the more experience to start over a whole lot faster;
  • You’ll be no less respected by anyone because it’s clear you gave it your all;
  • In a few years, when you’re an established and supersuccessful entrepreneur you’ll also have a cool failure story to tell;
  • None of your limbs will fall off;

Now that’s not too bad for a plan B is it? Failure is such a negative word. And the associated feeling is terrible and numbing. But really…how is giving it your all and not succeeding really the same as failing? Shouldn’t the definition of failure not be along the lines of ‘not even trying’ or ‘giving up when it gets hard’?

In other words: stop beating yourself up over this!

There’s really no need to feel like a failure at all because you’re sticking your neck out, you’re trying to make a difference and you’re still moving upward on that treacherous entrepreneurial mountain.

And that…is what success REALLY is.

Those Who Failed Their Way To Success

Quotes To Live By:

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy

“If you don’t try at anything, you can’t fail… it takes back bone to lead the life you want” – Richard Yates

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison

“We are all failures – at least the best of us are.” – J.M. Barrie

“Success is stumbling form failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm” – Winston Churchill

“Don’t let success go to your head and failure to your heart” – Will Smith

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Life

Why You Never Have Enough Time and What You Need to Do About It

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Has this ever happened to you? You had an assignment, and the deadline was far away. You didn’t work on it much, but in the back of your mind, that insistent little voice was always whispering, “I gotta get this assignment done.” (more…)

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Life

6 Unusual Exercises to Effectively Increase Your Creativity Faster Than Ever

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Although a vast majority of people think that creativity is something you are born with, the truth is a bit different. While we cannot deny that you need natural talent to a certain extent, stimulating creative thinking is indeed a matter of practice. If you give this thought a bit of thinking, you can realize pretty quickly that even the most fascinating and creative minds have faced the lack of creativity at some point in their lives. (more…)

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