Connect with us

Life

5 Simple but Important Ways You Can Defeat Perfectionism

Avatar

Published

on

perfectionism

Most of us have at least one role model in our lives. Someone who inspires us to be better, follow after their footsteps and who wants us to reach heights greater than they did. Thoughts like “I want to make them proud” become synonymous to “I don’t want to disappoint them”.

But then you come up short or fail. And it breaks your heart. Not theirs, but YOURS. You punish yourself for apparently not trying “enough”. You consider your actions “unacceptable” and you feel like you’ve disappointed not only yourself, but everyone around you as well.

Setting high standards is not completely a bad thing; in fact, it is actually a good motivation technique. Refrain from taking on more tasks than you think you can handle though. Before you know it, you’re drowning in work that could’ve been finished long ago just because you don’t feel like it’s commendable enough. You constantly find yourself taking a step forward only to take two steps back.  

All these, plus the refusal to accept any standard short of excellence, categorize us as a perfectionist. Instead of helping you become better, extreme perfectionism eventually ruins you. It brings nothing but unending stress, sleepless nights and a perpetual feeling of unworthiness.

Here are five ways to gradually help you prevail over perfectionism:

1. Find alternative ways to get things done

On days where you just “don’t feel like” doing what you usually do, mix up your routines. There is more than one way to accomplish something, so try to enjoy the spontaneity. Allow yourself to get help, rather than trying to accomplish everything on your own like you usually do. Letting others help you may even result in finishing the job faster, leaving more time for revisions and any fixing that has to be done.

2. Break big goals into smaller ones

First, start off by creating realistic timelines and schedules. Give yourself enough time to finish a task without having to cram. The more you cram, the more you tend to panic, and panic does not go well with perfectionism. Setting a reasonable deadline based on your abilities will not only allow you to work peacefully, but give you reassurance that it is indeed possible to reach your goal.

Not all goals and dreams are a one-shot wonder. Often times, we focus so much on the big picture or the end result that we overlook the steps it takes to get there. We have to care about what happens in between and what it takes to get there, or else we just end up distraught.  

“A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.” – Bruce Lee

3. Leave a little room for disappointment and mistakes

Mistakes and improvement always go hand in hand. Do not be so hard on yourself and try to forgive yourself for your shortcomings instead of wallowing in self-pity. Use your slip-ups as step-ups.

No matter how much consolation and reassurance you receive from your peers about a job well done, if you choose not to believe them, you will never be satisfied – or be able to move on.  Reflect on your failures, but don’t resent yourself for it.

4. Reward yourself

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Instead of thinking, “I failed”, substitute it with one or two good things that DIDN’T go wrong. Rather than thinking of all the other ways something could’ve gone wrong, focus on the positive things that went well and congratulate yourself for it. That alone is a reward in itself. Buy yourself flowers if you feel like it. Treat yourself to your favorite dessert. Any success, big or small, is worth celebrating.

“Every project has challenges, and every project has its rewards.” – Stephen Schwartz

5. Realize that not everything is a pass or fail situation

Get started even if you don’t see the end result. Although we are expected to do the best we can, our abilities will only take us so far. Sometimes, amongst the black and white, the gray area is all that matters most. Take these “but let me… one last time” or “Wait! This isn’t good enough…” lines out of your vocabulary.  

We have to learn how to surrender to the moments, situations, changes and flaws and allow them to happen the way they’re supposed to happen.  Focus more on doing a job right than doing it perfectly. And realize that being average is okay, too.

How have you been able to manage your perfectionism? Leave your thoughts below!

Life

A Simple but Effective Technique to Be More Confident

Avatar

Published

on

Many people want to learn how to be confident in different situations, but it’s not always easy. Maybe we’re too addicted to comparing ourselves or maybe social media has brainwashed us to believe that we should all be rich, famous, and in incredible shape. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

Knowing Your Message vs Delivering Your Message

Avatar

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

Have you ever sent a text message only to have it misinterpreted by the person reading it? Happens all the time. Have you ever given a presentation that you were totally prepared for only to have it fall flat? Happens all the time. Have you ever had someone ask you something like, “Why are you mad?” when you were not at all mad? Happens all the time. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

The 3 Most Important Things I Learned About Personal Growth

Avatar

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

When you look back on your life, what do you want to think about? Do you plan to reminisce on all of the good things that have happened and how they shaped who you are today? Or would you rather remember all of the bad decisions, challenging experiences, and mistakes made that hurt or wasted a portion of your life?

In my opinion, I think it is important to reflect on both. While it’s important to remember the hardships we’ve been through in our lives – without them we wouldn’t be where we are now. There are 3 very specific areas that I feel have helped me grow in a personal sense more than anything else in my life so far. 

These aren’t simple lessons in a book or a lecture that you can just absorb and apply to your life. These are things that I’ve learned through experience and reflection, and I’m still learning and growing today.

1. We determine how much we’re worth by what we think about ourselves, others, and life in general.

This might seem like a pretty obvious lesson in life but it’s actually one of the most important because we can determine our own worth by how we think about ourselves and the world around us. If you’re looking for success in any kind of business or social setting (dating), then I’ll tell you right now that it doesn’t matter if you have 10 billion dollars or not – people are still going to judge you based on your thoughts and beliefs alone.

What determines our value isn’t necessarily what we do with our lives (which is often based on luck) but whether or not we believe that ‘our work’ is worthy or not in some sort of grand scheme or universe. We may not always be able to control what happens in our lives, but we can always control how we value ourselves and others.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou

2. You don’t have to change your habits or personality just because someone else doesn’t like it – their opinions are THEIRS alone.

This is another one of those lessons that people tend to pick up on a little bit late in life, but if anything that makes its importance even worse! Basically, there’s going to come a time when you’re going to meet someone who has certain expectations of you as a person…but these expectations might not be realistic due to their motivations and personal beliefs. For example, sometimes parents might expect you to be a lawyer or doctor because that’s what they believe is best for their child.

However, this isn’t the case for everyone and so maybe your passion lies in music or writing novels. In this example, if you were also pressured into becoming a doctor – then there would obviously be some kind of conflict going on within yourself as a person. You should never have to give up something that you want to do just because someone else doesn’t like it! The reason why we’re put onto this Earth is to make our own choices and go after our OWN dreams instead of letting others determine what we can and cannot do with our lives .

3. You can’t change your life until you accept that you need to make a change.

When I was younger, I thought that this lesson would be pretty obvious – but as I got older, it really made me appreciate the fact that there are always different ways of perceiving our lives. For example, if someone wants to become rich and famous one day – their mind might simply overshadow any other possibility in their head because they feel like this is what they NEED to do right now.

However, this isn’t always true within our own lives because we think about things too literally instead of having an open mind. If you want to achieve success in any kind of business or social setting (dating) then you should be willing to try out different things instead of staying in your comfort zone. If you want something, then it’s up to YOU to actually go after it – nobody else is going to give it to you!

The three lessons above are some of the main things I want to pass on to everyone because they’ve come at an important time in my life where I need to start thinking about others instead of only myself. It’s great if we can learn to love ourselves first before anything else, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect everyone around you even though they might be your friends and family members!

If you enjoyed this article on the 3 most important things I learned about personal growth, then please share it with your friends and family! Also, check out my other articles on success & motivation as well as life lessons that could help people who are struggling with their life right now on lifengoal.com. Thanks for reading!

Continue Reading

Life

​​4 Boss Level Growth Strategies That Create an Optimized Life

Avatar

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

Building a business is about more than sales, marketing, and flexing on social media. While those things tend to draw attention, they attract the wrong type of clients and are not how you build a sustainable and freedom-focused business. (more…)

Continue Reading

Trending