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5 Simple but Important Ways You Can Defeat Perfectionism




Most of us have at least one role model in our lives. Someone who inspires us to be better, follow after their footsteps and who wants us to reach heights greater than they did. Thoughts like “I want to make them proud” become synonymous to “I don’t want to disappoint them”.

But then you come up short or fail. And it breaks your heart. Not theirs, but YOURS. You punish yourself for apparently not trying “enough”. You consider your actions “unacceptable” and you feel like you’ve disappointed not only yourself, but everyone around you as well.

Setting high standards is not completely a bad thing; in fact, it is actually a good motivation technique. Refrain from taking on more tasks than you think you can handle though. Before you know it, you’re drowning in work that could’ve been finished long ago just because you don’t feel like it’s commendable enough. You constantly find yourself taking a step forward only to take two steps back.  

All these, plus the refusal to accept any standard short of excellence, categorize us as a perfectionist. Instead of helping you become better, extreme perfectionism eventually ruins you. It brings nothing but unending stress, sleepless nights and a perpetual feeling of unworthiness.

Here are five ways to gradually help you prevail over perfectionism:

1. Find alternative ways to get things done

On days where you just “don’t feel like” doing what you usually do, mix up your routines. There is more than one way to accomplish something, so try to enjoy the spontaneity. Allow yourself to get help, rather than trying to accomplish everything on your own like you usually do. Letting others help you may even result in finishing the job faster, leaving more time for revisions and any fixing that has to be done.

2. Break big goals into smaller ones

First, start off by creating realistic timelines and schedules. Give yourself enough time to finish a task without having to cram. The more you cram, the more you tend to panic, and panic does not go well with perfectionism. Setting a reasonable deadline based on your abilities will not only allow you to work peacefully, but give you reassurance that it is indeed possible to reach your goal.

Not all goals and dreams are a one-shot wonder. Often times, we focus so much on the big picture or the end result that we overlook the steps it takes to get there. We have to care about what happens in between and what it takes to get there, or else we just end up distraught.  

“A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.” – Bruce Lee

3. Leave a little room for disappointment and mistakes

Mistakes and improvement always go hand in hand. Do not be so hard on yourself and try to forgive yourself for your shortcomings instead of wallowing in self-pity. Use your slip-ups as step-ups.

No matter how much consolation and reassurance you receive from your peers about a job well done, if you choose not to believe them, you will never be satisfied – or be able to move on.  Reflect on your failures, but don’t resent yourself for it.

4. Reward yourself

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Instead of thinking, “I failed”, substitute it with one or two good things that DIDN’T go wrong. Rather than thinking of all the other ways something could’ve gone wrong, focus on the positive things that went well and congratulate yourself for it. That alone is a reward in itself. Buy yourself flowers if you feel like it. Treat yourself to your favorite dessert. Any success, big or small, is worth celebrating.

“Every project has challenges, and every project has its rewards.” – Stephen Schwartz

5. Realize that not everything is a pass or fail situation

Get started even if you don’t see the end result. Although we are expected to do the best we can, our abilities will only take us so far. Sometimes, amongst the black and white, the gray area is all that matters most. Take these “but let me… one last time” or “Wait! This isn’t good enough…” lines out of your vocabulary.  

We have to learn how to surrender to the moments, situations, changes and flaws and allow them to happen the way they’re supposed to happen.  Focus more on doing a job right than doing it perfectly. And realize that being average is okay, too.

How have you been able to manage your perfectionism? Leave your thoughts below!


Don’t Want To Feel Like A Failure Anymore? Stop Doing These 6 Things



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It’s pretty annoying isn’t it? All those great and accomplished people telling you that FAILURE is a necessity on your way to success. Yeah, that’s easy for them to say; they’re already ‘on the other side’! You on the other hand, are still struggling all day everyday to get your business lifted off the ground and are really not that sure if you’re indeed going to make it.

There’s that little voice in your head that keeps telling you that you don’t have the stuff to make it all happen. Not now and not ever. You feel like a failure…it’s holding you back and you don’t know how to deal with it. Well you could do yourself a favor and start dealing with it by doing the following things:

1. Stop Denying You Feel Like A Failure

Telling yourself things are going great when they’re not is one of the biggest, though most useless, coping mechanisms human beings deploy in rough times. Common denial signals among entrepreneurs: trying to regain more control by working even more hours and on the other side compensating this by letting go of all this control by partying and drinking way too hard.

What you’re doing is denying yourself the opportunity to actually feel what’s going on and acknowledge the problem; that both you and your business are in a bad place. Without acknowledging it, it’ll be pretty difficult to actually STOP feeling it. And remember, just because you feel like a failure, this does not mean that you indeed ARE a failure!

2. Stop Making It Bigger Than it Really Is

This is one of those other ‘fun’ things human beings do; we blow things way out of proportion in our heads! In business, when you lose that big client you’ve been working on for weeks, it feels like it’s the end of the world. You start doubting yourself, your strategy, your entire business model right up to the point where you barely sleep because you’re working on pivoting the whole thing.

But what if that customer simply didn’t have the money to go for your service anyway? Or what if they just decided to go for someone who is cheaper but who offers less quality? Does that mean there’s something wrong with YOU? Or that this was the ONLY customer out there and that you’re now doomed forever?

Of course not, it simply means that THIS CUSTOMER wasn’t a match. It’s a bit like dating actually…So if you take this into consideration, could it be that you just feel like a failure instead of really not succeeding in that what you want to at this point in time?

3. Stop Thinking You’re The Only One Who Feels Like This

You’re not! With the possible exception of the true sociopaths, that feeling you’re feeling is very normal to EVERYONE. It might not seem like it on the outside – because people don’t like to acknowledge this remember – but I can guarantee you that it’s true. But unlike 99% of the world’s population, YOU’RE not going to let this feeling stop you in your tracks. Are you?

4. Stop Thinking You’re Supposed To Be Superhuman

In fact, it’s very likely that you’re already doing, learning and succeeding at WAY more than most other people are. But for entrepreneurs, somehow, that never seems to be enough. You don’t just want to be successful after a few years of hard work (which is normal). You want to be successful after only a few months. Because you’re special…or at least you think you are…

Well, here’s the truth: you ARE special! But…it’s just not very likely that you’re one of those – very very rare – entrepreneurial superstars that – seemingly – just added some hot water and got instant business success as a result.

5. Stop Being So Incredibly Stubborn

Entrepreneurs are stubborn…almost by default. It’s what makes them push forward in the hardest of times. But…if you’re not doing the right things right you might just be hammering a square peg through a round hole. Which will only add to that frustrated feeling you’re already having. So why not stop being so stubborn for a moment, stop hammering away on that what obviously is not working and ask for help?

No matter who you ask – a business mentor or coach, a befriended entrepreneur – someone with a neutral perspective on you and our business will be very likely to see what’s going on with a lot more clarity than you can and can guide you to a place that will feel a whole lot more comfortable.

6. Stop Being Afraid Of Failure

I know, I know, you’ve heard this a million times before and you wouldn’t be in this pickle if you could do this. Right? I’m right there with ya!

But, if you get really rational about it, what’s the worst that could happen?

  • You might have to get a ‘real’ job for a while and start over on the side;
  • You might not be able to afford your rent anymore…but with Airbnb on the 1 hand and couchsurfing on the other, you should be able to work it out somehow;
  • You’ll have all the more experience to start over a whole lot faster;
  • You’ll be no less respected by anyone because it’s clear you gave it your all;
  • In a few years, when you’re an established and supersuccessful entrepreneur you’ll also have a cool failure story to tell;
  • None of your limbs will fall off;

Now that’s not too bad for a plan B is it? Failure is such a negative word. And the associated feeling is terrible and numbing. But really…how is giving it your all and not succeeding really the same as failing? Shouldn’t the definition of failure not be along the lines of ‘not even trying’ or ‘giving up when it gets hard’?

In other words: stop beating yourself up over this!

There’s really no need to feel like a failure at all because you’re sticking your neck out, you’re trying to make a difference and you’re still moving upward on that treacherous entrepreneurial mountain.

And that…is what success REALLY is.

Those Who Failed Their Way To Success

Quotes To Live By:

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy

“If you don’t try at anything, you can’t fail… it takes back bone to lead the life you want” – Richard Yates

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison

“We are all failures – at least the best of us are.” – J.M. Barrie

“Success is stumbling form failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm” – Winston Churchill

“Don’t let success go to your head and failure to your heart” – Will Smith

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