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How to Be Less Self-Centered and More Community Focused for Fun and Profit

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Do you want to know the biggest thing standing between you and success? It’s your big fat ego. It’s the focus you put on yourself, both positive and negative, that negatively affects your ability to make meaningful change and ultimately become successful.

It’s those thoughts that run around in your brain, day in and day out, telling you to focus on yourself and your own problems while leaving others to deal with their own stuff. It’s the overwhelming amount of pressure you put on yourself to perform and succeed despite all odds which is, ironically, bringing you down.

Most of us wouldn’t call ourselves self-centered, but chances are the majority of us are. The ego is what allows us to take care of ourselves, but sometimes it can become overbearing and make us forget our deeper purpose.

Here are three counter-intuitive mindset shifts you need to adopt to be happier and more successful while becoming less self-centered and more community-focused:

1. Develop self-acceptance

One of the biggest things that stands between you and success is a lack of self-acceptance.

Learn to accept yourself for you, and you will redefine what it means to be successful. This isn’t your typical “self affirmation” mumbo jumbo that so many self-help gurus talk about. I’m not suggesting you stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself how great you are. Instead, learn to be honest with yourself about your strengths and your weaknesses and then be comfortable with not having the answers.

For instance, if you are trying to start an online business and don’t know the first thing about building an eCommerce website, don’t try to “self affirm” yourself into the belief that you can build the next Amazon.com from scratch.

Instead of all that, remind yourself that, although you are a beginner, you can make a small step progressing towards your goal by using tools and resources available to you. There is no way you can go from zero to hero in an instant. It takes practice and continuous effort.

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” – Mark Twain

2. Have confidence in others

Stop thinking of yourself as the lone wolf, the secretive genius, or the obsessive entrepreneur. People who are competitive and ambitious tend to look at every opportunity as one that has winners and losers. They think of the world in terms “us versus them” rather than “us AND them”.

If you want to truly tap into your potential, you need to stop trying to do everything yourself and develop meaningful relationships with others.

Having friends is an important part of finding happiness and lasting success, but there is something else which is often missing from modern day relationships.

That missing element is confidence; the ability to rely on those around you for help and guidance. It’s not enough to simply spend time with people you find interesting or engaging, you need to develop a deep sense of confidence in them. Trust your instincts and have the confidence in others to ask for help and guidance.

3. Contribute to the community

Research and anecdotal evidence from around the world suggests that one of the best ways to find lasting happiness is to find ways to contribute to your community. For the ambitious, career driven and money-minded among you, this may seem like a complete waste of time, but there is little doubt that by doing well for your community, you will ultimately do well for yourself.

Past performance from individuals and organisations that were able to tap into the collective subconscious and serve some deeper need for their communities proves that people are well-rewarded for their selfless actions.

“With faith, discipline and selfless devotion to duty, there is nothing worthwhile that you cannot achieve.” – Muhammad Ali

If you want to be happier and more successful, look at how you can contribute to your community. We are all connected in one way or another, but chances are that you have a unique perspective and insight into one or two micro communities that would greatly benefit from your help.

Remember that help can take many forms, and you don’t have to go about reinventing the wheel to contribute to the community of your choice. Look holistically at what you are good at, then take that initial step towards making a contribution.

It’s easy for me to tell you to change your mindset and implement these guidelines, but it is another thing entirely to start to do them. We live in a world that is more connected than ever before, yet somehow we continue to find ourselves drawn inward, focusing on our own goals, issues and problems.

We are in dire need of more selfless action on this planet, but that doesn’t mean you have to completely abandon your personal objectives, hopes and dreams. If you want to create a change in your life and have a greater impact on society as a whole, I heartily suggest adopting all three of these strategies.

What have you done recently do give back to others? Share with us below!

McVal is the founder of We Write For Growth, a platform for businesses to connect with talented writers and researchers and growth hackers. He is also the author of How to Make $2,000 a Month Online and Start Up your Life: Why we don’t know what we want, and how to set goals that really matter. McVal writes about motivation, decision making, and strategic thinking. He graduated from UC Santa Barbara in 2011 with a degree in Spanish, and has since worked as a market researcher and business consultant in Washington D.C., New York City and London. You can reach him on Twitter @mcval or on IG @mcvaliant. 

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A Simple but Effective Technique to Be More Confident

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Many people want to learn how to be confident in different situations, but it’s not always easy. Maybe we’re too addicted to comparing ourselves or maybe social media has brainwashed us to believe that we should all be rich, famous, and in incredible shape. (more…)

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Knowing Your Message vs Delivering Your Message

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Have you ever sent a text message only to have it misinterpreted by the person reading it? Happens all the time. Have you ever given a presentation that you were totally prepared for only to have it fall flat? Happens all the time. Have you ever had someone ask you something like, “Why are you mad?” when you were not at all mad? Happens all the time. (more…)

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The 3 Most Important Things I Learned About Personal Growth

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When you look back on your life, what do you want to think about? Do you plan to reminisce on all of the good things that have happened and how they shaped who you are today? Or would you rather remember all of the bad decisions, challenging experiences, and mistakes made that hurt or wasted a portion of your life?

In my opinion, I think it is important to reflect on both. While it’s important to remember the hardships we’ve been through in our lives – without them we wouldn’t be where we are now. There are 3 very specific areas that I feel have helped me grow in a personal sense more than anything else in my life so far. 

These aren’t simple lessons in a book or a lecture that you can just absorb and apply to your life. These are things that I’ve learned through experience and reflection, and I’m still learning and growing today.

1. We determine how much we’re worth by what we think about ourselves, others, and life in general.

This might seem like a pretty obvious lesson in life but it’s actually one of the most important because we can determine our own worth by how we think about ourselves and the world around us. If you’re looking for success in any kind of business or social setting (dating), then I’ll tell you right now that it doesn’t matter if you have 10 billion dollars or not – people are still going to judge you based on your thoughts and beliefs alone.

What determines our value isn’t necessarily what we do with our lives (which is often based on luck) but whether or not we believe that ‘our work’ is worthy or not in some sort of grand scheme or universe. We may not always be able to control what happens in our lives, but we can always control how we value ourselves and others.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou

2. You don’t have to change your habits or personality just because someone else doesn’t like it – their opinions are THEIRS alone.

This is another one of those lessons that people tend to pick up on a little bit late in life, but if anything that makes its importance even worse! Basically, there’s going to come a time when you’re going to meet someone who has certain expectations of you as a person…but these expectations might not be realistic due to their motivations and personal beliefs. For example, sometimes parents might expect you to be a lawyer or doctor because that’s what they believe is best for their child.

However, this isn’t the case for everyone and so maybe your passion lies in music or writing novels. In this example, if you were also pressured into becoming a doctor – then there would obviously be some kind of conflict going on within yourself as a person. You should never have to give up something that you want to do just because someone else doesn’t like it! The reason why we’re put onto this Earth is to make our own choices and go after our OWN dreams instead of letting others determine what we can and cannot do with our lives .

3. You can’t change your life until you accept that you need to make a change.

When I was younger, I thought that this lesson would be pretty obvious – but as I got older, it really made me appreciate the fact that there are always different ways of perceiving our lives. For example, if someone wants to become rich and famous one day – their mind might simply overshadow any other possibility in their head because they feel like this is what they NEED to do right now.

However, this isn’t always true within our own lives because we think about things too literally instead of having an open mind. If you want to achieve success in any kind of business or social setting (dating) then you should be willing to try out different things instead of staying in your comfort zone. If you want something, then it’s up to YOU to actually go after it – nobody else is going to give it to you!

The three lessons above are some of the main things I want to pass on to everyone because they’ve come at an important time in my life where I need to start thinking about others instead of only myself. It’s great if we can learn to love ourselves first before anything else, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect everyone around you even though they might be your friends and family members!

If you enjoyed this article on the 3 most important things I learned about personal growth, then please share it with your friends and family! Also, check out my other articles on success & motivation as well as life lessons that could help people who are struggling with their life right now on lifengoal.com. Thanks for reading!

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​​4 Boss Level Growth Strategies That Create an Optimized Life

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Building a business is about more than sales, marketing, and flexing on social media. While those things tend to draw attention, they attract the wrong type of clients and are not how you build a sustainable and freedom-focused business. (more…)

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