Do you want to become more popular and improve your relationship with people in your social or business circle? You can build your self-confidence by making other people feel more important and valuable.
As Dr. John Dewey said, “the deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important.” Remember that phrase: “the desire to be important.” This desire makes you want to wear the latest fashion, drive the latest cars, use the iPhones, and talk about your children.
Everybody wants to feel important. You have to be interested in people if you want to be a charming person and improve your relationships. But how do you do it?
Here are 6 behaviors you can practice with every person to make him or her feel more important:
When you give your full attention to another person when they’re talking, they feel what they’re is saying is important which makes them feel important. When you agree with a person who is talking, he or she feels more valuable and respected.
Listen to them like you are genuinely interested in what they have to say. Ask questions that other people will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.
If you want to be interesting, be interested. Listening is one of the highest compliments we can pay anyone. if you want to be a good conversationalist and more charming, be an attentive listener.
When two people meet it’s important to establish a certain level of acceptance. When you express genuine and unconditional acceptance to another person, you raise that person’s self-esteem, you improve that person’s self-image and you make him or her feel more relaxed and safe in your company.
It only takes 13 muscles to smile. A genuine, open, and honest smile says a lot. When you smile at another person, he or she feels valuable, important and worthwhile. A smile says, “I like you, you make me happy. I am glad to see you.”
Your smile is a messenger of your good will. You will raise your own self-esteem by making an effort to raise the self-esteem of others and you can do it by smiling. It costs nothing but creates so much more.
“Use your smile to change the world; don’t let the world change your smile.”
Whenever you express gratitude or appreciation to another person for anything the other person has done, you make him or her feel more valuable, more confident, and more worthwhile.
The word, thank you has tremendous power. Each time you say this word to another person his or her self-esteem goes up. Develop the habit to saying thank you to everybody for anything or everything they do. Develop an attitude of gratitude.
Express approval on every possible occasion. When people are genuinely praised by someone they respect, their enthusiasm and alertness increases and they feel much better about themselves.
Whenever anyone does something good, tell them how good they are. When you praise your family, coworkers, friend, and customers, you make them feel important.
Praise your son or daughter when he or she brings home a good report card or when they first succeed in building a birdhouse. They will feel encouraged. Nothing pleases children more than this kind of parental interest and approval.
Abraham Lincoln said, “Everybody likes a compliment.” Don’t criticize people, give honest and sincere compliments. You don’t need to be an expert, just be honest. Showing a genuine interest in others wins friends for you and if you are in business it may develop customer loyalty for your company.
When you say to someone, “Wow, you look beautiful today” or you say, “Hey, you did a really good job”. It makes people feel more positive.
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” – Mark Twain
It’s impossible to improve relationships in one day. It’s a long process. Begin the process by smiling at everyone you meet and remembering to say thank you.