Life
Chasing Permission: How Addressing Self-Worth Can Change the World

“Why address self-worth?” This was a reporter’s question after I gave a speech entitled “3 Reasons Why Increased Self-Worth Leads to a Better Money Story.” Even after listening to a presentation that listed three distinct answers to this question, they still couldn’t quite absorb the idea that addressing self-worth is crucial for growth. They were young, conservative, freshly graduated…not to mention self-worth barely gets a first glance as people focus on acquiring certificates and credentials. Small wonder it was a difficult concept for them.
Take note that self-worth is not the same as self-esteem
Although they are quite similar terms, there are distinct nuances that set them apart. Where self-esteem is your basic confidence in your abilities and skills, self-worth goes even further. It is your unwavering belief in your value and all that you bring to the table.
There are two ways to acquire skills and knowledge that translate into value: through experience, and through schooling. Neither of these is “better” or “worse” than the other, but they do tend to be perceived very differently.
A person with high self-worth who wants to try their hand at coaching, for example, might consider taking a course or two, but they will immediately start focusing on how to serve. They will start looking for ways to identify their message and their niche, and then reach out to an audience. They know that they already have skills and insights that can help others, and they are ready to put them into practice. They trust themselves.
On the other hand, someone who has lower self-worth will first look into getting certified. Their sense of value relies on outside sources telling them that they are capable. They will only consider coaching formally after they are officially deemed “qualified.”
“Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.” – Wayne Dyer
How to identify someone with high self-worth:
They DON’T panic when they hit a roadblock. They DO re-evaluate and come back with an alternative.
They DON’T say “Yes” out of obligation. They DO say “Yes” out of interest and excitement.
They DON’T act out of “FOMO” (fear of missing out) or desperation. They DO have the patience and confidence to wait for the right opportunity.
They DON’T obsess over small details. They DO keep their focus on the big picture.
They DON’T wait for someone else to tell them they are qualified. They DO know the value of their unique experience and skillset.
If you see yourself reflected in the DO category, congratulations! You’re doing great! If you relate more to the DON’T category, it’s okay. There’s no need to feel upset about it. Here are some steps you can take to boost yourself out of the rut you’re in:
1. Keep a list of “100 Reasons Why I’m Special.”
By creating a list of the qualities that make you stand out from the crowd, you are learning to see yourself as something special and valuable. If you can’t think of 100, start with five or ten, and keep adding as you think of new ones.
Reading this list regularly will help keep you centered on who you are and what you bring to the table. It will bolster your confidence so that you will be able to better handle rejections and challenges. This allows you to easily move forward, instead of getting stuck in remorse or resentment when things don’t go your way.
2. Never focus on the “No.” Look for a way to turn it into a “Yes.”
Whether you are pitching a business idea or a service, or asking for a raise or a favor, sometimes you are going to hear “No.” Having high self-worth means that instead of “No,” what you hear is “Help me say ‘Yes.’” When you understand that a “No” can simply mean “Not right now,” you can step back to see what you might have missed, then clarify, fill in the gaps, and try again.
People prefer to be around those who empower them rather than with those who make them feel ashamed, guilty, or pressured. You’ll find a much warmer response when you try to see things from the other person’s point of view.
3. Work within the system.
Creativity isn’t just about thinking outside the box. It also includes thinking within boxes. It’s easy to feel frustrated when you can see ten steps ahead of everyone to the opportunities that could be brought forward through certain changes. However, changing what’s considered possible – or even acceptable – can take up to a century or longer because, as previously mentioned, people are naturally resistant to what’s different and new to them.
Long ago, for example, women couldn’t engage in commercial activities. If a woman were to simply demand that the government allow women to trade, the system would shut her down. However, if she first engaged in trade under a man’s name, and through her actions, slowly raised awareness that women were capable of doing business, then the system would slowly and collectively open up to that idea.
“Self-esteem is that deep down inside the skin feeling you have your own self-worth.” – Denis Waitley
When you simply explain how things are wrong, you will be faced with resistance. But when you actively show others how things can be better, ou create lasting change. You inspire. You make a difference. And faced with the positive transformations you have brought about, how could you not swell with pride and self-worth?
So, again, let us ask the question “Why address self-worth?” Because it is perfectly alright to jump in and begin without waiting for someone else to tell you you’re ready. Because working on your self-worth means more possibilities, more creativity, and more compassion. And because gaining clarity on what you bring to the table – and implementing those traits and skills – makes you more capable of creating a better world for us all.
Life
Failing is More Important Than Succeeding
Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

People often consider failure a stigma. Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life. (more…)
Life
5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.
Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.
Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.
Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.
However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.
Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:
1. Unconscious Sabotage
Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.
This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.
Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.
This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.
3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma
4. A strong need for control
5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained
What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?
There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:
- Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
- Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
- Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
- Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
- Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.
It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.
Life
3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning
we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)
Life
Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness
Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)
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