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How to Trust Yourself and Embrace Your Personal Power

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personal power
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Silencing the voice of self-doubt can be downright difficult. There are the doubters and then there are the fear mongers. What differentiates one from the other? Doubt is a deterrent. It means you are not sure the process will work, whereas, fear can totally paralyze you from moving forward.

If you want to build trust in yourself and replace the negative chatter with positive thoughts, then you have to “show up”. Showing up means taking a proactive approach towards your goals in spite of the fear, doubt and anxiety. It’s easy to believe those negative voices playing over and over again in your head preventing you from trusting yourself.

Don’t allow the chatter to get stuck on instant replay. Press stop, rewind and rewire the brain to connect with a motivating moto or positive mantra.

  • I am good enough
  • I am capable and equipped to handle any situation.
  • am grateful for my health and I love my life.

Whatever label you attach to these positive statements, it will serve as a reminder to reaffirm your goals, how to feel in the moment and the courage to honor yourself at every level.

“Since 95 percent of the people are imitators and only 5 percent initiators, people are persuaded more by the actions of others than by any proof we can offer.” – Robert Cialdini

Making Sense of the Difficulties

Being able to get through the difficult times, make the right decisions and learn from your mistakes is key to having a fulfilling life. Is there is a decision you are struggling with? Is there something you want to do but perhaps you don’t feel confident in your abilities? If the answer is YES, how would it feel if I gave you permission to make the choice you really want!

My guess is you would feel relief. However, your immediate response may question the relief with: What If? What if I hurt someone? What if I fail? What if it isn’t the “right” decision? What if people don’t agree with me? All these “what if’s are actually keeping you a prisoner of your own fear.

They are reinforcing a limited belief that other people’s feelings or expectations are more important than your TRUTH. Let me give you an example of some questions you may ask someone else:

  • Should I Change My Career?
  • Should I take this College course?
  • Should I leave this relationship?

What you’re doing is asking for permission. However, deep inside you already know the answer! Of course you do! You just have to believe you do. You don’t need permission to do something that your soul is already telling you. Why do we need someone else to give us approval to move forward? I want you to trust yourself and believe in you. I want you to STOP running to other people for permission.

If you are miserable at your job, you know what you need to do. If you are stuck in a toxic relationship, move on. If you have always wanted a college education, what are you waiting for? Calling someone else and asking them for the answer is not going to change your decision.  Trust your own intuition and take responsibility for your own life. You have all the power. I can’t make the decision for you, only you can. TRUST yourself.

Here are a few strategies to encourage you to believe and trust in yourself:

1. Avoid People Who Undermine Your Self-Trust

The people who undermine your self-trust are the ones who are jealous of your enthusiasm and passion. They give themselves permission to control your pleasure, your success and are the “dream smashers and naysayers.” Keep these individuals at arms-length and do not share important information with them. They may see you as a genuine threat and could sabotage your efforts.

2. Keep Promises to Yourself

Developing self-trust also includes becoming your own best friend, which includes keeping promises to yourself. You might make a commitment to take a walk every day, go to bed earlier, or visit the gym on a weekly basis. When you commit to your intentions, you are agreeing to stay focused even though it may be difficult. Building habits and working towards your goals takes effort but it’s well worth the energy.

3. Speak Words of Wisdom and Be Kind to Yourself

When you speak words of wisdom, you are acknowledging you are in control, you have the power to overcome your circumstances and are determined to trust in yourself. These declarations will reinforce the power you have to face all challenges and solve every obstacle in your path. Also, be ready to suppress the inner critic. You do not have to perfect, instead aim to improve, do a course correction and try again.

“The purpose of a storyteller is not to tell you how to think, but to give you questions to think upon.” – Brandon Sanderson

4. Write A New Story

Trusting in yourself takes work and effort, however, with daily practice you will be able improve your confidence, self-esteem and have inner peace. Your job, if you choose to accept it, is to be happy in spite of your circumstances, rise above the inner critic and love yourself.

We all have a story to tell, however, today I want you to begin writing a new story about your life; one where you are grounded in confidence, self-love, commitment and courage. Start by taking action steps towards changing your story from self-defeating thoughts to thoughts that empower you to make sound decisions and trust yourself! You are more than capable to achieve your heart’s desire. I BELIEVE in you!

How do you trust yourself? Comment below!

Cheri Schultz is a motivational speaker, life coach, author and successful entrepreneur whose wisdom and knowledge is a product of her lessons and experiences. With over 30 years of experience, she is dedicated to motivating, encouraging and empowering individuals to take action, believe in themselves and have the courage and commitment to create the Life Changing Freedom they desire.

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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