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7 Strategies That Will Help You Build Self Discipline Once and for All



self discipline
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Entrepreneur, it’s French in origin and sounds evocative. And like the term ‘startup’ it once sounded attractive, even exciting. You’re trying to push this new business forward. But there’s a maddening frustration that you can’t get things done. It seems your “to do list” just keeps growing.

You’re supposed to be your own boss now, but mastering yourself is a lot harder than you thought. This unfulfilled feeling won’t go away. You’ve got to try something different. The good news is you can learn how to build self discipline right now with 7 strategies. Self-Discipline is defined as, “the ability to control one’s feelings and overcome one’s weaknesses”. It’s your weapon to get things done when inspiration falters. Let’s jump into those 7 strategies.

1. Slay Temptations with Jedi Willpower

Now is your chance to join “the resistance”. Except it’s not Star Wars. The battle is against instant gratification. It’s a war for your attention. To resist impulses. To resist the urge for social media, snacking, checking email, caffeine, online shopping, YouTube and on and on. Recognise and weed out these enemies. Because long term goals are linked to delayed reward.

Vow to stop consuming and start creating. Self-discipline is the vehicle between your worthy goal and your prize. Block out your morning to get that hard work done. Let everyone know you can’t be disturbed. See your whims and desires for what they are. Switch your smartphone off and put it out of sight. Resist those urges to surf the web. You have to be ruthless! Persevere and you will start feeling powerful again.

2. Banish Excuses One Step at a Time

Self-discipline is about growing new habits. Like building muscle, it takes effort. Instead of taking big leaps, focus on small changes. If you’re a night owl, it’s pointless trying to wake up two hours earlier from day one. Set the alarm a half hour earlier. By also changing your evening routine you’ll gradually start improving. Change takes time. Regular progress in one area is better than trying to change everything in one day. Intentional small steps lead to that better habit and excuses start to disappear.

“99% of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.” – George Washington Carver

3. Breakdown Smart Goals with Planning

Goals are wonderful dreamlike ambitions, but without a plan, they’ll remain in fairyland. Long term goals need to be brought into better focus. In ”the 12 Week Year” Brian Moran refers to this danger as ”we mistakenly believe that there is a lot of time left in the year, and we lack a sense of urgency”.

Say you want to reignite your reading habits of old. You’re aiming for 12 books this year. To read a 250-page book in 31 days is 8 pages daily. That’s only 30 minutes to an hour of reading. It seems a whole lot more achievable when broken down. Keep on track with SMART goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound.

Planning is a map that helps you stay more disciplined. As James Clear put it, ”You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”

4. Organize an Environment to Win

Everyone struggles with keeping on top of things. I’ve seen university professors with offices that could be mistaken for a paper shredding room. So don’t sweat it. Make no mistake, being organized is a part of self-discipline. It has a calming effect by keeping you on track to win.

Being tidy and organised will help you with a mindset for getting things done. Give everything a home. Declutter and get rid of useless junk. At the end of the day, clear your desk and reset for tomorrow. Your workspace, your house, your car; it’s all a reflection of you.

5. Adopt a Positive Attitude for Success

When you’re always chasing something, it’s easy to forget what you have. Feeling gratitude for the untold opportunities at your fingertips helps you stay grounded. Negativity can drag you down and stifle everything else. Don’t waste a millisecond on things you can’t influence or change.

You can choose how you react to temporary failure or life’s dramas. That’s the difference between those disciplined to get up and push on and everyone else. They have more control over their thoughts and attitudes. They have a purpose and a powerful reason. And more often than not, they rise on the side of positivity.

6. Persistence to Victory

Committing your goals to paper and working on them demonstrates faith. So whether its micro changes or bigger leaps, keep momentum on your side with your daily effort. In fact, Earl Nightingale defined success as, ”the progressive realization of a worthy goal”. Sharing your tasks with a partner or accountability group will help you stay persistent. Sacrifice clears the road for persistence. Persistence is having the will to persevere in spite of setbacks, emotions or temporary failures.

“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.” – Jim Rohn

7. Profit from Balance in Life

Maybe your further down this path. Business is on the up and you already have a lot of these qualities. But there’s a hidden danger lurking. Overly focusing on work and the expense of all.

You’ve let exercise slip or maybe you’re eating too much fast food. Even family time and duties are suffering. Imbalance in life can destroy achievements. It takes self-control to balance everything. It’s one of the hardest things to achieve because of all the demands.

Don’t let imbalance wreck what matters the most. Recharge, get out of the artificial world and into nature to revitalise your wellbeing and make a strict routine for sleep, exercise and family time. Having the discipline to balance life will enrich your work.

Remember that feeling when you let temptations dictate? That unfulfilled sinking feeling? It zaps your energy and spirits to move forward. The scary thing is, when left unchecked you stop believing and lose momentum.

Banish those excuses by focusing self-discipline on one area at a time. From the list above start to implement one strategy today. You could see your output soar. Best of all, you’re feeling better and conquering the day.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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