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9 Steps To Go From The Couch To A High Quality Life

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9 Steps To Go From The Couch To A High Quality Life Plan

If this title rings a bell, you may be familiar with the couch to 5k running plan. The idea is that even a relatively sedentary person can achieve the goal of running a 5k in a relatively short period of time (about 9 weeks).

The designers of the plan make no claim that you will be sprinting across the finish line, just that you will be able to run a 5k if you follow their plan, and suffer no unplanned setbacks. The plan has thousands of followers, and has spawned dozens of online support groups and runners clubs.

The question is, can you apply this approach to other goals? Can you go from the couch to a high quality life in two months? Just like following couch to 5k plan will put you on the path towards becoming a runner, following this high quality life plan will put you on the path living the life you want.

Here are the 9 steps to go from the couch to a high quality life:

1. Deciding what you want

The phrase “high quality life” is deliberately vague. The intention is that you fill in the details by defining what it is that you want to accomplish to measurably improve the quality of your life. Your goal can be related to your career, your family, your health, or any other area of your life that you believe, when improved, will make your life better.

“Existence is a strange bargain. Life owes us little; we owe it everything. The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose” – William Cowper

2. Setting your two month goal

Now that you know which area of your life you want to improve, it is time to set your two month goal. Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself. After all, the purpose of this is that you can accomplish something that many people would think is impossible in a few weeks, as long as you are motivated.

 

3. Let people know

Accountability is key. Don’t give yourself a reason to quietly back away from your goals. Clue in a few trusted friends and family members and ask them to give you encouragement, and to check in with you. You may not always love the accountability, but you will appreciate the support.

 

4. Commit to a minimum of an hour each day

At first, this may seem easy. Who wouldn’t be willing to commit an hour a day towards making a life change? Don’t be fooled. In the middle of a hectic day, giving an hour will be a struggle. That hour will mean telling people no, and restructuring your priorities. It will also mean that you have to miss out on things that are important to you.

 

5. Days 1 thru 7: Identify and get rid of the barriers to your success

Who or what has the potential to stand in the way of you achieving your 9 week goal? Be honest. The sad truth is, it is often well-meaning loved ones who can be the biggest barriers to reaching your goals. In addition to this, it is also the activities that you enjoy the most that are likely to keep you from doing what you need to do to accomplish your goals. In order to achieve your new high quality life, there may be people that you need to limit contact with, and habits or hobbies that you need to put on the back burner for the next few weeks.

 

6. Days 8-15: Write out your strategy

Yes, you really should take a week to do this. The reason for this is that you should be observing your life while you are creating your strategy. This will help you to create a strategy for change that you can actually make work for you. Remember that you want to challenge yourself to accomplish something important, but you don’t want to set yourself up for failure.

 

7. Days 16-45: Begin implementing your strategy

What you do doing these 4 weeks depends on whether or not your strategy is iterative or if it is ongoing. For example, if your strategy is iterative, you will be performing the same task over and over again. Then, as you do so, you will become better and better at that task. You might implement an iterative strategy, for example, if you are trying to become a better writer. You could begin implementing your strategy by committing to write 30 minutes each day with a goal of simply getting words down on paper. Then, each day you increase the length of time that you write and hold yourself to higher standards of quality.

If you are implementing an ongoing strategy, you are going to be incorporating new actions and behaviors. Let’s say that your goal is to spend more quality time with your loved ones. You might begin with giving up 30 minutes of time watching television each day to spend time with your family, then you might add on to that by spending an hour each week writing emails to long distance relatives.

In either case, you want to start with the easiest to implement or least time consuming changes first. Then, you will increase intensity, or add new actions.

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent” – Calvin Coolidge

8. Days 46-53: Maintain, evaluate and adjust

After you have been working towards your goal for about four weeks, take some time to look back. First, congratulate yourself on what you have accomplished! Then, consider what has gone really well, and what hasn’t gone as well as you would like. Use this knowledge to make any adjustments to your strategy. For the remainder of these 7 days, keep up with what you have already been doing.

 

9. Days 54-63: Make the biggest changes

At this point, the changes you have already made should be habit. Spend the last days implementing the biggest changes or making the biggest efforts that you can. When you are finished with your 9 week journey, you will be amazed at what you have accomplished.

When are you going to start your program for your high quality life? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Rick Riddle is passionate about self-development process and wants to share his experience with more people via his articles. He believes that self-sufficiency and discipline lead to great results. You may find more his articles on this blog or follow him on twitter.

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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