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4 Types of Friends That are Hurting Your Dreams

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4 Types of Friends That are Hurting Your Dreams

One of the greatest impacts on your dreams is the friends that you keep. Your friends will drag you down or they will build you up.

Positive influences can make everything easier while negative influences will make you feel like you’re walking in thick muck. I have allowed the wrong people to sneak into my life more than I would like to admit,   even while knowing that your friends can determine the quality and direction of your life.

 

Jim Rohn
 

Some friends we know we shouldn’t keep but some we are just naive about their negative affect on our life. If you are plateauing in life make sure that you aren’t hanging around with one of these 4 types of friends.

Here are the 4 types of friends that are hurting your success:

 

1. The doubter

The doubting friend always wants proof that your dream is possible. They will believe in you as long as they see it. This friend will buy in late in the game but in the early stages of chasing your dreams they will fuel your doubt. When you hang out with this friend you spend most of your time trying to convince them of the vision that you can see. This friend will describe themselves as a realist but you don’t have time to entertain this doubter.

 

2. The helper

This friend’s heart is right but there help is not helpful. They criticize everything, finding fault in the smallest detail. They are general with praise but specific and cutting with where they think you could have done better. In all actuality, this helper is trying to get your dream to be what they think it should be. This friend will always make you feel like your best is not good enough and increase your doubt. You don’t have time to defend against the helper.

 

3. The fun friend

This friend is always looking for a good time. The fun friend is a blast to be around but can get you into trouble if you aren’t careful.  Life is a party to this friend and they don’t take anything seriously. This friend may be someone you cut out completely but more than likely they are just someone you need to limit your time with. If you hang around fun friend too much you will have no time to work towards your dream.

“The best way to move forward, is to let go of the people holding you back.”

4. The me friend

This friend is so focused on themselves that the relationship is one sided. This friend has no give and take and you feel used after spending time with them. You may be an enamored attribute they have, that causes you to stay around but it’s just not worth it. In fact this friend is not a friend and should be cut out immediately. You don’t have any room to have a one sided relationship ever, but especially if you are chasing a dream.

 

Some friends you will need to cut out completely, others you will just need to spend less time with. You must make room for better relationships. As your inner circle changes you will be amazed at how your dreams become easier and more joyful. This journey is too hard to have negative forces within your control pulling at you. There should be no guilt for cutting off relationships. Some friendships are meant for a lifetime but many are for a season of life. Set clear boundaries and stick to them and watch your dreams take off.

Which type of friend is holding you back from your dreams? Leave your thoughts and answers in the comment section below!

Zechariah Newman builds businesses, runs marathons, and lives life with my wonderful family in southern Oregon. You can see my writing in places like Entrepreneur Magazine, Fast Company, Mind Body Green, and the Good Men Project. My goal is to help you build your business while keeping a balanced and fulfilled life. You can visit his website: zechariahnewman.com and follow him on his Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ZechariahNewman

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8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Cwc

    Jan 17, 2016 at 9:38 pm

    Then there are the family members who also fall into these categories. Not always as easy to cut out of your life but their attitude towards you and your dream can have a negative effect.

  2. Philos

    Oct 17, 2015 at 4:19 pm

    And then we need to remember not to use the types of friends we have as an excuse to continue entertaining mediocrity – doing little to make the dreams we have become true.

    No matter what types of friends you have now, you still have to find the right way to make those dreams come true. For your first friend is God Almighty and He created all of us with the wisdom to discern what’s right to do and what is wrong.

  3. Jared Greer

    Oct 8, 2015 at 12:16 pm

    Wealth is in many cases, about proximity. If you hang around 4 broke guys, you’ll be the 5th.

    But there is also significant benefit to building a diverse network. This article could very well signal to only spend time with those who think like you and are not likely to criticize you. Success comes, however, as a result of using a network to your advantage by understanding your objectives from multiple perspectives. This is how you iterate your craft for more impact, meaning and followership. Yes, limit your time with negative people, but don’t be afraid to put your dreams in front of them.

  4. Jennifer Hudak

    Oct 5, 2015 at 3:07 am

    I’m glad I saw this post. I’ve had to cut a lot of people out of my life that aren’t aligned with my dreams and goals. It’s extremely difficult to cut contact with people you’ve known for a long time, but it’s even harder to keep them in your lives when you realize they are only hurting you. True friends believe in you no mater what and make a conscious effort to help you in a positive way. I remember someone once said you can determine how you feel about someone after you hang out with them. Do you feel better or worse? If worse, move on. If better, keep them in your lives!!

  5. Theodore Nwangene

    Oct 4, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    Great post Zach,
    Its indeed very vital to be mindful of the kind of friends we stay around because they will eventually determine our future.

    Having a doubter as a friend can really be a great mistake because, they will always come up with a thousand reason why you won’t be able to achieve what you want, they are the idea suckers and killers and will give you numerous reasons why your idea will not work but won’t border to help you figure out how it might work.

    Just stay away from any of these kind of people.

    Thanks for sharing.

  6. Saravanaraja

    Oct 4, 2015 at 11:21 am

    A wonderful article

  7. Oussama

    Oct 3, 2015 at 1:53 pm

    Nice post. You should also add the 5th kind of friend, which is the loser friend, or the over-negative one. He is worse than the doubter, he just see things and objects as unreachable because he couldn’t reach them himself. So he keeps saying that you can’t do it and try to negatively affects you.

  8. Lawrence Berry

    Oct 3, 2015 at 12:27 am

    There is not doubt that the people you hang around the most are the people that are going to be the most influential in your life. You are right in saying that negative things will make it seem like you are tracking through mud as you are on the road to reaching your dreams. You need to surround yourself with people who are positive and will be there to help you accomplish your dreams, even if they don’t 100% believe in it. These are your true friends who want to see you happy in life. Surround yourself with people who are going where you want to go. That will make the road to success a whole lot easier.

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Success Advice

What If You Never Took Another Selfie Again?

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That’s the question I want you to ponder right now.

What if taking a selfie only made the world ignore you?
What if life is not all about you?
What if no one cares who you took a photo with?

And finally, how did we ever live without selfies before the front-facing camera got invented?

Instead of taking a selfie do this:

Try focusing on other people.
Try not to document every moment.
Try to think about life before selfies.

We all take selfies because that’s what we were told to do.
And that’s exactly why we need to question this habitual flaw that we’re now indulging in.

 

I have A/B tested selfies vs. no selfies.

The result? When I took photos of cool stuff like mountains in Japan and shared a profound thought, people liked that more than a selfie with my overly large head in it. I’ve done this test multiple times over the last few years.

The result is always the same. People are over you and your selfies.

 

It’s not about “I” it’s about “We.”

Sounds cliché, and that’s because most brilliant advice is.

Selfies have deluded us into thinking that life is about us and our big audacious goals. Where life will change for you is when you focus on the “We.”

Everything I write is for the audience I want to inspire. It’s not to show off or to share dumb selfies of me in a weak attempt to appear superior.

 

Selfies cause your followers to compare themselves to you.

And that’s not fair. If each of us tried to be the same, then society would be pretty dull.

“We don’t need a selfie to teach us how to copy each other and be jealous little so-and-sos who want to win a beauty pagan of nothingness”

You’re so much better than a selfie.

I believe you care about your followers so let’s stop drowning them in selfies. Selfies are proving nothing to no one. Selfies stop you from standing out in the crowd and inspiring others.

 

The time you spend “selfieing” could be used for…..

Enjoying this current moment and the breath you have in your lungs. One day that breath is going to stop and all that time selfieing won’t matter. You’re literally using up magical moments trying to take a hundred selfies that you filter and post, hoping for perfection.

Perfection is ugly.

“Right now, is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen if you’ll only stop selfieing and notice it”

 

Life before selfies….

Life was much the same. The selfie didn’t put us on Cloud 9 with a bunch of our fantasies and an unlimited amount of cash being shot up into the sky via an air cannon.

Life before selfies was fun.
We ate our food instead of looking at it with our phones and letting it get cold.
We had phenomenal conversations with our friends instead of taking endless, mindless selfies.

Life before selfies was not about one’s self.
You took photos of other people. Often, you took two photos max instead of fifty in a row.

I’d like you to imagine a life without selfies.

What does the selfie really mean to you and can you live without it?

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

Build From Within – Why Success Is All About People

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happy team

What is it that makes a company successful? Money? Technology? A driven CEO? While money certainly doesn’t hurt, technology is essential and it’s nice to have a well poised leader. These things are not what guarantees success in a corporation. It is all about the people. The employees working for an organization are the backbone of the company. Without great people, success can only go so far.

And if this is indeed true, successful business models should revolve around people – attracting top talent, and retaining them. Before ever serving external customers, companies should serve internally. This is where true success is built.

Walid Halty, founder of Dvinci energy, explains 3 reasons as to why people are the bottom line of success and how to build a team for continued growth:

1. Success Comes From Within

How do you continuously create an impeccable experience for your customers? While you may start listing out things such as innovation, efficient delivery and quality, you’d be wrong. All of those factors are quite necessary to attract and retain happy clients. At the same time, you never have to worry about any of that if you have a dedicated and talented team behind your organization or business. When your employees are happy with their work and love what they do, they automatically do great work every single day.

So, how do you get dedicated and talented individuals in your business, and how do you retain them? Dedicated and talented people all share a couple commonalities. They love to be challenged, and they love to grow. You need to challenge your people and give them opportunities to grow: “We have a culture that demands the best out of people. We offer them world class training and give opportunities for growth within our company. We invest in our people: ”Challenge and grow your people, and they will challenge and grow your business.

2. A Balancing Act

Gone are the 12 hour work days and good riddance! There is a new reality in the interconnected and digital world that we live in today. That reality is that there is an abundance of opportunity for anyone who strives for it. People don’t want to miss soccer games, dance recitals and family dinner time. They want balance. They want to do fulfilling, good work at a place where they feel valued, engaged and share a common vision. If this is not the case, then they will be willing to explore other opportunities if they don’t get exactly what they’re looking for.

“Your people don’t need your company’s way of making money, they need a community that creates purpose and order in their lives and an environment that empowers them rather than tries to hold them down out of fear.”

Find out what your people want and then do your best to give it to them. Flexible programs like remote work and adjustable schedules go a long way in making your employees happy and bringing balance: “At Dvinci, we consistently ask our people, what can we be doing better? How can we better serve you? How do WE make doing your job easier?”

You have to care about your people and what they experience on a daily basis when they come to work for you. Deliver a positive people experience, and you will retain your top talent, and they will share your vision and your success.

3. Happiness is a Choice

Emotions are at the root of all the decisions we make. We make hundreds of choices a day, and we make those decisions based off what we think will make us happy. They are why our customers buy from us, and it is why our employees stay with us. We all want to operate in a world (and a place of work) where we have the ability to control our happiness and improve our lives. This simple truth is one of the foundations companies should build their business models around.

Give your people a choice. Allow them to make decisions on how successful they want to be, how much money they want to earn, and what kind of impact they want to have based on what they believe will make them happy. Put the ball in their court. Allow your people to decide to be happy. By doing this, your top talent will excel and your employees will be happy.

“When people are financially invested, they want a return. When people are emotionally invested, they want to contribute.” – Simon Sinek

In case you’ve ever been curious about how to make your business more profitable, more innovative or have a bigger impact, the answer lies within. Serve your people first. Build a community of inspired, engaged and talented employees.

Build your business model around people. The rest will fall into place naturally. When you focus on people, they will care about your business, they will care about your mission and they will care about your customers.

Do you think building from within will equal more success? Share your thoughts with us below!

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Success Advice

You Need To Be Real And Authentic, I’m Sorry – Here’s How.

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With me, there are no games.
There’s no fakery.
What you see is what you get.

It’s taken a long time to get to this level of authenticity. I don’t tell you I’m real to brag; I tell you because you can be too. The reality is you need to be if you want the good life.

 

Your individuality is what’s real.

If you’re into comic magazines, tell us. If you’re into punk rock, then that’s great too. Your individuality is what brings out your authenticity. It’s what makes you different and it’s how we can learn a different set of lessons from the ones our own life teaches us.

Sometimes I watch those reality TV shows that show off musical talent. As a grown man, that might sound weird…. who cares. It’s what makes up who I am.

“Hiding who you are only damages your true purpose and the value you can deliver to the world”

We need to see who you are so we can find ourselves. Loud and proud is the best way to live. That’s why I voted for gay marriage because I don’t ever want anyone to hide who they truly are.

 

I’m not out there to become famous.

That’s what makes each of us real. The moment we chase fame, we become lost in a game that we can never win. We’ll never be the most famous.

Fame is not what it’s cracked up to be. It’s designed to make you someone you’re not. You’re supposed to be perfect because all of a sudden, you’re now a role model. The thing is that role models mess up too.

Authenticity comes from not giving a F and trading in fame for being real instead.

I don’t spend half my day on social media trying to make you feel bad through my content. My goal is to use the lessons from my life to inspire yours.

 

I’m only competing against yesterday’s version of me.

“Beating you is not my goal; helping you win is”

The only person I want to beat is yesterday’s version of myself. I want to beat yesterday’s version so I can deliver more of my authentic self today. Increasing the value of my advice and life experience is all that I’m about. With this tool, I can give more. Who are you competing with?

 

I’m not afraid.

I’m not afraid to tell you I don’t have a blue Lambo – only a model car one.
I’m not afraid to tell you I get scared when I do public speaking.
I’m not afraid to tell you that I wish I could always be young.
I’m not afraid to tell you I got my first grey hair the other day.

If you ask me how to be authentic, it starts with being vulnerable and sharing things. The same fears you have are in common with many of us.

“Your deepest fear is my deepest fear. So, let’s share those fears and help each other crush them”

Life doesn’t need to be a solo journey. Show up being real, authentic and wearing your fears on the outside.

 

I’m not about the high life.

The Benz or the Bimmer is not who I am. I write these words in my office with a lava lamp turned on. I’m kind of old school in that way.

Instead of the fake high life, I put my soul into these words I write. Authenticity can buy you the high life, but once you’ve lived a life that is real, you won’t be that interested in gold chains and diamond rings.

On the surface, loads of cash seems appealing. The reality, having lived it, is that I’m my most authentic without all of the distractions and materials possessions. These things take away my focus and stop me from seeing my vision.

I don’t ever want you to lose sight of your vision which is why I remind you of the perils of money so much. Once you get over six figures, it’s all the same mostly. Money doesn’t make you real.

 

Authenticity breeds a killer network.

Cutting out the fake life and being authentic has bought the same kind of people to my life. People that are real, I’ve found, tend to be successful in the true sense. They’re fun to be around and they’re loyal like a puppy dog.

Your network around you will inspire you towards your goal or distract you from that which you seek. People are naturally attracted to people that are real and you can be that way with discipline. Avoid bragging (although celebrate your wins) and say what’s on your mind.

 

Authenticity requires no validation.

You just do it by being honest. Being real is about being honest with the world, and most of all, yourself. Ditch the habit of lying and you’ll get rich on the life you’ve always wanted. No one has to give you permission to be real.

Try saying what you think with respect.

I did so via my blogging and it turns out people can learn from you when you’re real.

 

Final Thought

I’ve given you a ton of reasons to be authentic. No more excuses.

Be who you were always meant to be.
Who you know you can be.
Who you know you should be.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

A Timeline That Shows How To Find Yourself.

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March 2009

I had just bought my dream car, was making loads of cash and chicks thought the fact I was a DJ and Music Producer was cool. My ego was big, I’d never given to a charity or volunteered for anything and I loved to talk my mouth off at anyone who questioned me.

At this point, I had no idea who I was. I honestly believed I could end up discovering drugs and losing myself.

 

June 2011

Nothing had changed except the business I had spent five years creating died.

Along with the death of what I thought was going to be my entire life, and my one big success. Rock bottom came quickly. I couldn’t face the world. I thought I was a failure that would never recover and would work some $15 an hour job for the rest of my life.

At this point, I was even further away from finding myself. The money had gone to my head.

 

April 2013

I’d spent the last two years reading every self-help book and watching lots of Ted Talks. I was more self-aware but still had no idea what I was doing. The fear I had in my life combined with the anxiety was crippling. My health started to fall off a cliff.

Through all of this self-help content, somehow, I discovered Tony Robbins. I went to his seminar by flying 45 minutes to another state of Australia. Flying was a massive fear and I thought I was going to die mid-air.

I got to the seminar and within minutes felt stupid. It seemed like some sort of cult where you drank the cool-aid and then gave your life (literally) at the end.

By that night, I was walking on fire and had a major breakthrough.

At this point, I still had not found myself, but I’d discovered a catalyst for the discovery to begin.

 

June 2014 (roughly I forget what month)

A mate shares a link to a blog called Addicted2Success. The name of the website gets my attention. On the bottom of the site is a phone number which I ring. I talk to the founder’s girlfriend, get the correct mobile number, fly to Perth with no meeting booked, and call him.

He meets me for coffee. There’s no agenda and no topic of conversation. I offer him something for free that he wants and then he asks me to write for his blog. I’ve never written anything professionally and the word ‘writer’ appears lame.

At this point, I had an opportunity but still had no idea who I was.

 

March 2015

My first blog post goes viral and I experience some success. It feels good. The success becomes the validation that I can be a blogger and inspire the world through personal development and entrepreneurship.

I believed in myself before this moment through the self-improvement work but this success compounded the results and my own belief.

At this point, a glimpse of who I was started to shine through. It was satisfying.

 

April 2015

I go to the doctor for a routine check after a few stomach aches, and he sends me to the hospital. While asleep for a few hours, the surgeon finds a lump the size of a golf ball in my guts which was months away from being cancerous.

My whole life changes. Nothing else matters. I begin feeling the following:

– What is my purpose in life?
– Will I be single forever?
– What will be my legacy once I’m gone?
– How can I give back and create more joy?
– Could I inspire millions of people?

These five questions changed everything. These questions were how I began to discover my true self.

 

January 2016

More publications wanted me to write for them. I did and as a result, had more viral blog posts. The daily emails of thank you’s was overwhelming. Inspiring others through my two passions of entrepreneurship and personal development became the pillar of everything I did.

At the same time, I also started crushing my fear of public speaking. This gave me the confidence boost I needed to believe in myself and to continue to discover who I wanted to be.

 

2018 and beyond

I learned the following:

– You’ll never know what will be the catalyst that will change your life
– The things you think you’ll never do, you will
– Once you understand the power of time and legacy through a near-death experience, you’ll never live life the same way again
– Whatever you find your true to self to be, you’ll end up giving back in some way

 

Finding yourself is a lifelong journey.

That’s right! You never arrive. You’re always going to evolve.

What I’ve learned is that once you know who you are and it’s tied to some meaningful purpose – like inspiring millions of people online – the rest will take care of itself.

“It’s the discovery process and being prepared to try new things that will help you uncover that purpose”

Nothing is static. Suffering is guaranteed. In the end, finding yourself is fun when you look back. Thinking about all my ridiculous fears and mistakes makes me laugh. Without them, though, I’d never be who I am today.

And I now know that tomorrow’s potential is created by what you do today.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Life

5 Simple Things to Do Right Now if You Feel Stuck in Life

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feeling stuck in life

As a success-blogger, I normally have a great deal of clarity about what I need to be working on. I’m also really driven by a sense of purpose in helping others get unstuck and make an impact in their lives. There aren’t many times that I find myself at a loss for what to do next.

Nonetheless, I recently hit a dry spell. I felt entirely stuck and a little burnt out. It felt like I was in a pit, emotionally unempowered and unable to move forward. Due to this, I decided to sit down and write out a list of ways that I could get myself moving and build up some momentum again. (more…)

Aaron Force is a blogger from Seattle, Washington. He writes to help others live their most powerful life by allowing them to find their purpose, get unstuck, and impact the world. He can be found at www.aaronforce.net or at https://www.facebook.com/aforce01/.

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8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Cwc

    Jan 17, 2016 at 9:38 pm

    Then there are the family members who also fall into these categories. Not always as easy to cut out of your life but their attitude towards you and your dream can have a negative effect.

  2. Philos

    Oct 17, 2015 at 4:19 pm

    And then we need to remember not to use the types of friends we have as an excuse to continue entertaining mediocrity – doing little to make the dreams we have become true.

    No matter what types of friends you have now, you still have to find the right way to make those dreams come true. For your first friend is God Almighty and He created all of us with the wisdom to discern what’s right to do and what is wrong.

  3. Jared Greer

    Oct 8, 2015 at 12:16 pm

    Wealth is in many cases, about proximity. If you hang around 4 broke guys, you’ll be the 5th.

    But there is also significant benefit to building a diverse network. This article could very well signal to only spend time with those who think like you and are not likely to criticize you. Success comes, however, as a result of using a network to your advantage by understanding your objectives from multiple perspectives. This is how you iterate your craft for more impact, meaning and followership. Yes, limit your time with negative people, but don’t be afraid to put your dreams in front of them.

  4. Jennifer Hudak

    Oct 5, 2015 at 3:07 am

    I’m glad I saw this post. I’ve had to cut a lot of people out of my life that aren’t aligned with my dreams and goals. It’s extremely difficult to cut contact with people you’ve known for a long time, but it’s even harder to keep them in your lives when you realize they are only hurting you. True friends believe in you no mater what and make a conscious effort to help you in a positive way. I remember someone once said you can determine how you feel about someone after you hang out with them. Do you feel better or worse? If worse, move on. If better, keep them in your lives!!

  5. Theodore Nwangene

    Oct 4, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    Great post Zach,
    Its indeed very vital to be mindful of the kind of friends we stay around because they will eventually determine our future.

    Having a doubter as a friend can really be a great mistake because, they will always come up with a thousand reason why you won’t be able to achieve what you want, they are the idea suckers and killers and will give you numerous reasons why your idea will not work but won’t border to help you figure out how it might work.

    Just stay away from any of these kind of people.

    Thanks for sharing.

  6. Saravanaraja

    Oct 4, 2015 at 11:21 am

    A wonderful article

  7. Oussama

    Oct 3, 2015 at 1:53 pm

    Nice post. You should also add the 5th kind of friend, which is the loser friend, or the over-negative one. He is worse than the doubter, he just see things and objects as unreachable because he couldn’t reach them himself. So he keeps saying that you can’t do it and try to negatively affects you.

  8. Lawrence Berry

    Oct 3, 2015 at 12:27 am

    There is not doubt that the people you hang around the most are the people that are going to be the most influential in your life. You are right in saying that negative things will make it seem like you are tracking through mud as you are on the road to reaching your dreams. You need to surround yourself with people who are positive and will be there to help you accomplish your dreams, even if they don’t 100% believe in it. These are your true friends who want to see you happy in life. Surround yourself with people who are going where you want to go. That will make the road to success a whole lot easier.

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Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Success Advice

What If You Never Took Another Selfie Again?

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That’s the question I want you to ponder right now.

What if taking a selfie only made the world ignore you?
What if life is not all about you?
What if no one cares who you took a photo with?

And finally, how did we ever live without selfies before the front-facing camera got invented?

Instead of taking a selfie do this:

Try focusing on other people.
Try not to document every moment.
Try to think about life before selfies.

We all take selfies because that’s what we were told to do.
And that’s exactly why we need to question this habitual flaw that we’re now indulging in.

 

I have A/B tested selfies vs. no selfies.

The result? When I took photos of cool stuff like mountains in Japan and shared a profound thought, people liked that more than a selfie with my overly large head in it. I’ve done this test multiple times over the last few years.

The result is always the same. People are over you and your selfies.

 

It’s not about “I” it’s about “We.”

Sounds cliché, and that’s because most brilliant advice is.

Selfies have deluded us into thinking that life is about us and our big audacious goals. Where life will change for you is when you focus on the “We.”

Everything I write is for the audience I want to inspire. It’s not to show off or to share dumb selfies of me in a weak attempt to appear superior.

 

Selfies cause your followers to compare themselves to you.

And that’s not fair. If each of us tried to be the same, then society would be pretty dull.

“We don’t need a selfie to teach us how to copy each other and be jealous little so-and-sos who want to win a beauty pagan of nothingness”

You’re so much better than a selfie.

I believe you care about your followers so let’s stop drowning them in selfies. Selfies are proving nothing to no one. Selfies stop you from standing out in the crowd and inspiring others.

 

The time you spend “selfieing” could be used for…..

Enjoying this current moment and the breath you have in your lungs. One day that breath is going to stop and all that time selfieing won’t matter. You’re literally using up magical moments trying to take a hundred selfies that you filter and post, hoping for perfection.

Perfection is ugly.

“Right now, is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen if you’ll only stop selfieing and notice it”

 

Life before selfies….

Life was much the same. The selfie didn’t put us on Cloud 9 with a bunch of our fantasies and an unlimited amount of cash being shot up into the sky via an air cannon.

Life before selfies was fun.
We ate our food instead of looking at it with our phones and letting it get cold.
We had phenomenal conversations with our friends instead of taking endless, mindless selfies.

Life before selfies was not about one’s self.
You took photos of other people. Often, you took two photos max instead of fifty in a row.

I’d like you to imagine a life without selfies.

What does the selfie really mean to you and can you live without it?

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Success Advice

Build From Within – Why Success Is All About People

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happy team

What is it that makes a company successful? Money? Technology? A driven CEO? While money certainly doesn’t hurt, technology is essential and it’s nice to have a well poised leader. These things are not what guarantees success in a corporation. It is all about the people. The employees working for an organization are the backbone of the company. Without great people, success can only go so far.

And if this is indeed true, successful business models should revolve around people – attracting top talent, and retaining them. Before ever serving external customers, companies should serve internally. This is where true success is built.

Walid Halty, founder of Dvinci energy, explains 3 reasons as to why people are the bottom line of success and how to build a team for continued growth:

1. Success Comes From Within

How do you continuously create an impeccable experience for your customers? While you may start listing out things such as innovation, efficient delivery and quality, you’d be wrong. All of those factors are quite necessary to attract and retain happy clients. At the same time, you never have to worry about any of that if you have a dedicated and talented team behind your organization or business. When your employees are happy with their work and love what they do, they automatically do great work every single day.

So, how do you get dedicated and talented individuals in your business, and how do you retain them? Dedicated and talented people all share a couple commonalities. They love to be challenged, and they love to grow. You need to challenge your people and give them opportunities to grow: “We have a culture that demands the best out of people. We offer them world class training and give opportunities for growth within our company. We invest in our people: ”Challenge and grow your people, and they will challenge and grow your business.

2. A Balancing Act

Gone are the 12 hour work days and good riddance! There is a new reality in the interconnected and digital world that we live in today. That reality is that there is an abundance of opportunity for anyone who strives for it. People don’t want to miss soccer games, dance recitals and family dinner time. They want balance. They want to do fulfilling, good work at a place where they feel valued, engaged and share a common vision. If this is not the case, then they will be willing to explore other opportunities if they don’t get exactly what they’re looking for.

“Your people don’t need your company’s way of making money, they need a community that creates purpose and order in their lives and an environment that empowers them rather than tries to hold them down out of fear.”

Find out what your people want and then do your best to give it to them. Flexible programs like remote work and adjustable schedules go a long way in making your employees happy and bringing balance: “At Dvinci, we consistently ask our people, what can we be doing better? How can we better serve you? How do WE make doing your job easier?”

You have to care about your people and what they experience on a daily basis when they come to work for you. Deliver a positive people experience, and you will retain your top talent, and they will share your vision and your success.

3. Happiness is a Choice

Emotions are at the root of all the decisions we make. We make hundreds of choices a day, and we make those decisions based off what we think will make us happy. They are why our customers buy from us, and it is why our employees stay with us. We all want to operate in a world (and a place of work) where we have the ability to control our happiness and improve our lives. This simple truth is one of the foundations companies should build their business models around.

Give your people a choice. Allow them to make decisions on how successful they want to be, how much money they want to earn, and what kind of impact they want to have based on what they believe will make them happy. Put the ball in their court. Allow your people to decide to be happy. By doing this, your top talent will excel and your employees will be happy.

“When people are financially invested, they want a return. When people are emotionally invested, they want to contribute.” – Simon Sinek

In case you’ve ever been curious about how to make your business more profitable, more innovative or have a bigger impact, the answer lies within. Serve your people first. Build a community of inspired, engaged and talented employees.

Build your business model around people. The rest will fall into place naturally. When you focus on people, they will care about your business, they will care about your mission and they will care about your customers.

Do you think building from within will equal more success? Share your thoughts with us below!

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Success Advice

You Need To Be Real And Authentic, I’m Sorry – Here’s How.

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With me, there are no games.
There’s no fakery.
What you see is what you get.

It’s taken a long time to get to this level of authenticity. I don’t tell you I’m real to brag; I tell you because you can be too. The reality is you need to be if you want the good life.

 

Your individuality is what’s real.

If you’re into comic magazines, tell us. If you’re into punk rock, then that’s great too. Your individuality is what brings out your authenticity. It’s what makes you different and it’s how we can learn a different set of lessons from the ones our own life teaches us.

Sometimes I watch those reality TV shows that show off musical talent. As a grown man, that might sound weird…. who cares. It’s what makes up who I am.

“Hiding who you are only damages your true purpose and the value you can deliver to the world”

We need to see who you are so we can find ourselves. Loud and proud is the best way to live. That’s why I voted for gay marriage because I don’t ever want anyone to hide who they truly are.

 

I’m not out there to become famous.

That’s what makes each of us real. The moment we chase fame, we become lost in a game that we can never win. We’ll never be the most famous.

Fame is not what it’s cracked up to be. It’s designed to make you someone you’re not. You’re supposed to be perfect because all of a sudden, you’re now a role model. The thing is that role models mess up too.

Authenticity comes from not giving a F and trading in fame for being real instead.

I don’t spend half my day on social media trying to make you feel bad through my content. My goal is to use the lessons from my life to inspire yours.

 

I’m only competing against yesterday’s version of me.

“Beating you is not my goal; helping you win is”

The only person I want to beat is yesterday’s version of myself. I want to beat yesterday’s version so I can deliver more of my authentic self today. Increasing the value of my advice and life experience is all that I’m about. With this tool, I can give more. Who are you competing with?

 

I’m not afraid.

I’m not afraid to tell you I don’t have a blue Lambo – only a model car one.
I’m not afraid to tell you I get scared when I do public speaking.
I’m not afraid to tell you that I wish I could always be young.
I’m not afraid to tell you I got my first grey hair the other day.

If you ask me how to be authentic, it starts with being vulnerable and sharing things. The same fears you have are in common with many of us.

“Your deepest fear is my deepest fear. So, let’s share those fears and help each other crush them”

Life doesn’t need to be a solo journey. Show up being real, authentic and wearing your fears on the outside.

 

I’m not about the high life.

The Benz or the Bimmer is not who I am. I write these words in my office with a lava lamp turned on. I’m kind of old school in that way.

Instead of the fake high life, I put my soul into these words I write. Authenticity can buy you the high life, but once you’ve lived a life that is real, you won’t be that interested in gold chains and diamond rings.

On the surface, loads of cash seems appealing. The reality, having lived it, is that I’m my most authentic without all of the distractions and materials possessions. These things take away my focus and stop me from seeing my vision.

I don’t ever want you to lose sight of your vision which is why I remind you of the perils of money so much. Once you get over six figures, it’s all the same mostly. Money doesn’t make you real.

 

Authenticity breeds a killer network.

Cutting out the fake life and being authentic has bought the same kind of people to my life. People that are real, I’ve found, tend to be successful in the true sense. They’re fun to be around and they’re loyal like a puppy dog.

Your network around you will inspire you towards your goal or distract you from that which you seek. People are naturally attracted to people that are real and you can be that way with discipline. Avoid bragging (although celebrate your wins) and say what’s on your mind.

 

Authenticity requires no validation.

You just do it by being honest. Being real is about being honest with the world, and most of all, yourself. Ditch the habit of lying and you’ll get rich on the life you’ve always wanted. No one has to give you permission to be real.

Try saying what you think with respect.

I did so via my blogging and it turns out people can learn from you when you’re real.

 

Final Thought

I’ve given you a ton of reasons to be authentic. No more excuses.

Be who you were always meant to be.
Who you know you can be.
Who you know you should be.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

A Timeline That Shows How To Find Yourself.

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March 2009

I had just bought my dream car, was making loads of cash and chicks thought the fact I was a DJ and Music Producer was cool. My ego was big, I’d never given to a charity or volunteered for anything and I loved to talk my mouth off at anyone who questioned me.

At this point, I had no idea who I was. I honestly believed I could end up discovering drugs and losing myself.

 

June 2011

Nothing had changed except the business I had spent five years creating died.

Along with the death of what I thought was going to be my entire life, and my one big success. Rock bottom came quickly. I couldn’t face the world. I thought I was a failure that would never recover and would work some $15 an hour job for the rest of my life.

At this point, I was even further away from finding myself. The money had gone to my head.

 

April 2013

I’d spent the last two years reading every self-help book and watching lots of Ted Talks. I was more self-aware but still had no idea what I was doing. The fear I had in my life combined with the anxiety was crippling. My health started to fall off a cliff.

Through all of this self-help content, somehow, I discovered Tony Robbins. I went to his seminar by flying 45 minutes to another state of Australia. Flying was a massive fear and I thought I was going to die mid-air.

I got to the seminar and within minutes felt stupid. It seemed like some sort of cult where you drank the cool-aid and then gave your life (literally) at the end.

By that night, I was walking on fire and had a major breakthrough.

At this point, I still had not found myself, but I’d discovered a catalyst for the discovery to begin.

 

June 2014 (roughly I forget what month)

A mate shares a link to a blog called Addicted2Success. The name of the website gets my attention. On the bottom of the site is a phone number which I ring. I talk to the founder’s girlfriend, get the correct mobile number, fly to Perth with no meeting booked, and call him.

He meets me for coffee. There’s no agenda and no topic of conversation. I offer him something for free that he wants and then he asks me to write for his blog. I’ve never written anything professionally and the word ‘writer’ appears lame.

At this point, I had an opportunity but still had no idea who I was.

 

March 2015

My first blog post goes viral and I experience some success. It feels good. The success becomes the validation that I can be a blogger and inspire the world through personal development and entrepreneurship.

I believed in myself before this moment through the self-improvement work but this success compounded the results and my own belief.

At this point, a glimpse of who I was started to shine through. It was satisfying.

 

April 2015

I go to the doctor for a routine check after a few stomach aches, and he sends me to the hospital. While asleep for a few hours, the surgeon finds a lump the size of a golf ball in my guts which was months away from being cancerous.

My whole life changes. Nothing else matters. I begin feeling the following:

– What is my purpose in life?
– Will I be single forever?
– What will be my legacy once I’m gone?
– How can I give back and create more joy?
– Could I inspire millions of people?

These five questions changed everything. These questions were how I began to discover my true self.

 

January 2016

More publications wanted me to write for them. I did and as a result, had more viral blog posts. The daily emails of thank you’s was overwhelming. Inspiring others through my two passions of entrepreneurship and personal development became the pillar of everything I did.

At the same time, I also started crushing my fear of public speaking. This gave me the confidence boost I needed to believe in myself and to continue to discover who I wanted to be.

 

2018 and beyond

I learned the following:

– You’ll never know what will be the catalyst that will change your life
– The things you think you’ll never do, you will
– Once you understand the power of time and legacy through a near-death experience, you’ll never live life the same way again
– Whatever you find your true to self to be, you’ll end up giving back in some way

 

Finding yourself is a lifelong journey.

That’s right! You never arrive. You’re always going to evolve.

What I’ve learned is that once you know who you are and it’s tied to some meaningful purpose – like inspiring millions of people online – the rest will take care of itself.

“It’s the discovery process and being prepared to try new things that will help you uncover that purpose”

Nothing is static. Suffering is guaranteed. In the end, finding yourself is fun when you look back. Thinking about all my ridiculous fears and mistakes makes me laugh. Without them, though, I’d never be who I am today.

And I now know that tomorrow’s potential is created by what you do today.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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