Success Advice

8 Common Mistakes People Make When Developing New Habits

Published

9 years ago

Feb 5, 2015

Lidiya K

girl building habits stretching for exercise

More and more people are realizing that our habits are our identity and the things we repeatedly do are the reason for our success, or the lack of it.

And we form a new desire – to change our behavior, to replace the bad habits with good ones, to do what successful people do.

And we give it a try.

We start doing that new thing, or eliminate an activity that is harmful. And we feel motivated for a while. But soon we fail.

Some try again, although their motivation gets much lower. And they fail again soon.

Then they stop, go back to what they’re used to. And it feels so comfortable to be back where you feel safe and everything is familiar.

But that’s the prison we live in. The comfort zone we’ve been in for years keeps us from living. Nothing new or exciting will ever happen there, nor will we improve ourselves and do great things with our future.

But that’s not your only option.

Because soon that desire to change will call again. And you’ll feel the need to do something.

So don’t give up on becoming successful just yet, and get back to that new habit you want to develop. But this time, think and act smart.

Here are the most common mistakes people make when changing behavior and trying to start a new habit:

1. Trying to build or quit too many habits at once

Don’t do that to yourself. Not only will you fail at all of them, but you’ll also feel much more disappointed after that, will have used up your willpower and will be discouraged to try again.

Instead, focus on one habit.

Gradual change is what really works.

After all, we’re talking about lifelong changes here, not just doing something for a few weeks.

So if you want to start or stop doing something, let it be the only thing you’ll be focusing on for some time. Leave everything else behind.

2. Starting big

Another huge mistake.

All entrepreneurs and successful people do this: they think big, but they start small. So should you.

You must have a goal if you want to change your behavior. And whatever it is, you’ll first have to develop a certain habit.

If you want to get fit, you’ll need to start eating properly, and then make fitness a habit.
If you want to make writing your career, you’ll need to find the will to sit down every day and write.

Now break that goal down to specific tasks. Each of them will be something you need to achieve to eventually get there.

Then figure out what steps you’ll need to take every day in order to get closer to that goal.

And start with the first one.

Make it as tiny and simple as you can. Let it be impossible for you to say no to it tomorrow!

3. Not being consistent

It takes time. And that’s where most people find out they’re too weak and not at all ready to change.

But if you really want it, you’ll need to be patient.

It’s not hard. You just need to do that one action we just mentioned. But if you don’t do it each day, you won’t see results.

4. Not being focused

There have never been so many distractions in life as there are these days.

And you’ll have to accept that from day one.

Because no matter what you’re trying to get done, people will come in the room, devices will make sounds and notifications will be received. Your mind will often need to switch to another task like checking email or social media, going out, reading something else, thinking about yesterday, or planning for tomorrow.

Stop! Notice when that happens and quickly come back to what you’re doing right now.

Even if you take only a few minutes each day to do the one task connected to your habit, stay focused all the time.

After all, it’s all a matter of priorities. And if your habit becomes number 1 on your list, you’re destined to succeed.

5. Not taking it seriously

Most successful people start out with mini habits.

Some wanted to gain muscle, and started by doing one push up a day. Others needed to improve their health and get in shape, and started by just adding veggies to one of their daily meals. Aspiring writers started by writing a few sentences each morning. Others – by meditating for just a few minutes.

That’s all it takes. And you’ll get there.

But actions like that often seem too small, and people usually want to change too fast. That leads to them not taking the whole process seriously, and giving up before they’ve seen any results.

Don’t let that happen to you!

6. Not knowing why you do it

Your ‘why’ lies deep within you. It’s your purpose, the driving force that will help you overcome the limitations in your mind (like fears, procrastination, expectations, impatience, etc.)

And without it, you won’t have a direction.

So sit down and think about that. Why do you want to make that change in your life? How bad do you want it?

7. Waiting for results from the start

Those who are too eager to see progress from the very beginning, end up quitting way too early.

So you better focus all your energy on staying concentrated and consistent, and let things be. When the time is right, you’ll see results. And they’ll be the motivation to keep going.

8. Giving up after one fail

If you did that (after following all the previous items), you don’t want it bad enough. If that’s the case, go work on something else.

But don’t forget that after failing you’re more experienced, have learnt a lesson and know exactly what not to do next time, and it makes you stronger. And if you keep trying, eventually you’ll find the way to succeed.

These are the main reason we fail when developing new habits. And I guarantee you that if you work on each of them, you’ll get what you want in life. And by the time this happens, you’ll have become more disciplined, experienced, confident and 100% ready for what the future has in store.

So which of these mistakes are something you struggle with, and what do you do to make sure it doesn’t get the best of you?

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Lidiya K

Lidiya K. is a writer and blogger in the fields of self-improvement, life hacking, human potential and minimalism. She's the creator of Let's Reach Success, where her mission is to motivate and inspire and think of creative and unusual ways to overcome fear, procrastination, insecurity, clutter, failure, overthinking, discontent and much more.

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How to Break the Cycles of Mediocrity and Manifest Your Greatness

There is no greatness without becoming and there is no becoming with authenticity

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3 weeks ago

Nov 16, 2023

Jamelle Sanders

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In just a few weeks, we will be wrapping up 2023. Can you believe it? This year has been absolutely incredible for me.

I have seen amazing doors opened, new relationships formed and I am seeing dreams realized in my life. While this seems like the hallmarks of a great year, this has also been the most challenging year of my life. With all of the change happening in my life, I have been forced out of my comfort zone and challenged to grow in every area of my life.

I can truly say that I have made the most of my moments this year and I have used everything as a catalyst for maximizing my greatest potential.

As a revolutionary leader, I have the pleasure of consulting and advising leaders around the world to fulfill purpose, realize their greatest potential and make an impact.

I want to share some insights with you that will help you to break cycles of mediocrity and manifest your greatness.

Everything legal must come through the matrix

I am sure that some of you are wondering why I am using the term matrix. However, what you have to understand is that I am trying to make a highly complex spiritual principle practical to understand.

Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, every life has an origin and I believe that origin is divine and begins with eternity. You are birthed from eternity and into time to fulfill a unique purpose and assignment in your lifetime and generation.

The matrix is simply the portal or vehicle that brings something out of the invisible realm and into tangible form. The problem with much of the teaching today is that it excludes the matrix. We are told to believe that success is instantaneous and overnight.

Nobody talks about how a dream progresses through stages beginning with visualization and ultimately culminating in manifestation. Without a matrix or portal then everything that you attempt to birth and build will be illegal.

The matrix not only makes you legal but it gives you the authority and power to function as the greatest expression of who you were created to be.

Every matrix has an incubation process

While many people admire and respect me today, I remember a time when nobody knew who I was or the significance of my message. How did I get to where I am today? I got here through an incubation process.

In other words, everything that has been destined for your life is incubating and awaiting a set time of manifestation. The problem is that most people live their entire lives idle and never initiate the incubation process.

What do I meany by that? Most people are living reckless and very few people are living intentionally. I am amazed at the number of people I have conversations with that have no vision, goals or strategies for their lives. They show great promise and they have undeniable potential.

However, without development they will die with their dreams still in them.

Everything that has been destined for your life must be incubated and converted to become realities born to time.

“Visualize this thing that you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blueprint and begin to build.” – Robert Collier

You must give expression to that which is not yet born to time

When you think about a matrix or a prophetic incubation process, you have to understand that potential is often unrealized and untapped. In other words, your potential is in raw form and your potential cannot serve you as long as it is untapped.

The thing that makes me valuable is that I have the ability to convert potential into power. I have done it in my own life and I have empowered leaders around the world to do the same. How do you convert potential into power?

First, it is important to note that you have to perceive potential. If you cannot perceive your potential then you can never cultivate your potential. In addition, you must take the time to cultivate your potential. We often get excited about our capabilities; however, we never expand our capacity in order to realize our greatest potential.

In other words, the strength of your potential is only discovered through your willingness to stretch. The more we are challenged the more we are empowered to expand our capacity for greatness. Most of all, you must begin to express your potential. The expression of potential is different for every person.

For example, the expression of my potential is best demonstrated through the thoughts, ideas, products, services, books, etc.

For another person the expression of potential may look like a screenplay, artwork, sports, scientific discoveries, medical breakthroughs, etc.

Regardless of the form of expression, I know that you will live empty and unfulfilled until you make the decision to express your potential. The expression of your potential gives voice to your dreams, life to your vision, significance to your moments and activates your true power.

You must manifest your greatness

As a revolutionary thinker and leader, my work has impacted people around the world. I am grateful that my life is a source of empowerment to so many people. However, before anyone could ever benefit from my life, I had to make a non-negotiable decision to become who I was born to be.

I wish I could tell you that this journey is easy and that you will get there overnight. However, in a world that celebrates us for doing we are often criticized for being. As a result, I wasted a lot of time trying to be who other people wanted me to be instead of being who I was born to be.

There is no greatness without becoming and there is no becoming with authenticity. It is through our bravery to be vulnerable that we ultimately manifest our greatness. We do not bless the world by being a duplicate. We bless the world when we honor our difference. When you honor your difference you honor your potential.

Ultimately, your difference is how you manifest your greatness.

When you present anything but your authentic self to the world, you are playing small and you are robbing the world of your significance. Manifesting your greatness requires you to master your gifts.