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7 Ways To Make Every Year Your Best Year Ever

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Although we welcomed in the New Year not too long ago, right about now is when most people start experiencing a die-down of some of the mojo with which they embraced the New Year and find themselves slowly reverting back to their old ways and no longer as dedicated to their New Year’s resolutions.

With each New Year, we get caught up in trying to create perfection and delude ourselves into believing that we require the clean slate that a New Year presents to finally start making the most of ourselves and our lives while failing to realize that each new day we witness presents us with the opportunity to fully embrace life and do things differently.

Here are a few things we can do and habits we can embrace to make this and every year our best year ever:

1. Say “I do” to yourself

The words “I Do” symbolize commitment, convey promise and the willingness to do whatever it takes to uphold a vow.

Most of us have an easier time keeping promises and commitments we make to others while struggling to uphold those we make to ourselves. I guess the underlying reason behind this is because we don’t see ourselves as worthy of our goals and dreams.

Make a commitment today to honor yourself moving forward by making yourself and your aspirations a priority and allowing yourself to embrace everything you need to fulfill them and create the life you desire for yourself.

“Desire is the key to motivation, but it’s determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal – a commitment to excellence – that will enable you to attain the success you seek.” – Mario Andretti

2. Be fearless for once

Fear keeps us paralyzed in life and will rob us of many wonderful opportunities if we aren’t careful.  We should be bold enough to acknowledge that we are afraid when faced by situations that intimidate us, courageously stare fear in its face and do whatever we have to do anyway.

Allow yourself to get out of your comfort zone today by doing at least one thing you have been putting off or avoiding because of your fears and limiting beliefs. You will never know what you are capable of and what life has in store for you as long as you keep giving fear power.

The more you allow yourself to confront fear, the more it will lose its hold in your life and the more you will find yourself willing to embrace things that once intimidated you with ease.

 

3. Do one thing for 21 days straight

It is believed that it takes 21 days to form a habit; the reasoning behind this being that the brain is extremely adaptive to repetitive behavior. Our habits define our character and say a lot about who we are more than our words ever could.

Challenge yourself to embrace a self-supporting habit you have been meaning to by committing to doing it for 21 days straight without fail or compromise. This could include working out, giving up junk food or social media, spending more time with your family, getting to work on time and so on.

The more self-disciplined and consistent you become in practicing this habit, the sooner you will realize just how easy forming self-supporting habits really is and will feel inspired to continue on down a path of self-improvement and empowerment and take on more healthy habits.

 

4. Learn how to say no

We are all guilty in one way or another of taking on and embracing commitments and engagements that use up our time, energy and resources and interfere with our personal obligations thereby making our wellbeing and aspirations less of a priority and leaving us with very little to dedicate to them.

Make a commitment to start setting up healthy boundaries, to stop taking on more than you can handle and to say no to things that distract you from your aspirations, zap your energy and leave you feeling depleted and aren’t self-supporting as far as your overall well being is concerned.

 

5. Stop making excuses

We all make them and unfortunately allow them to sabotage our efforts as far as pursuing our goals and aspirations are concerned. They can range anywhere from not having enough time, to conditions not being favorable enough to not having what it takes to make things happen. Whatever the case, they keep us stuck in life where action is required and leave us feeling defeated in the end.

Today, commit to starting where you are and with what you have. Time will never be perfect; the nature of life requires that we be able to flow with it regardless of circumstances and situations. As you allow yourself to embrace your pursuits, you will discover that life will support and accommodate you by bringing the right people and opportunities your way thereby making conditions favorable for you.

“Most people don’t have that willingness to break bad habits. They have a lot of excuses and they talk like victims.” – Carlos Santana

6Commit to following through

Following through on the promises we make to ourselves can sometimes be challenging because at times they require more from us than we are willing or prepared to give and force us to leave the safety of our comfort zones or embrace our fears.

Doing everything we set out to do builds both character and self-discipline, and allows others to view us as dependable and reliable. Following through includes not leaving any jobs half done, finishing everything we start and hanging in when obstacles and challenges tempt us to quit.

 

7. Say goodbye to the toxic people in your life

You’ve heard it before, “If they aren’t for you, they are against you.”

Take an inventory of every single person in your life and determine if they add value to your life, support and celebrate you, lift you up or do the exact opposite. It is said that we become like the people we associate with and are influenced by them in one way or another.

Let go of people who bring you down, cause you to doubt yourself and those who don’t support who you are or your dreams. Naysayers, haters and dream killers shouldn’t have a place in your life and will keep you from your destiny and dreams if you allow them to have any influence in it.

Which habit will you embrace? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Yvonne Kariba loves helping people believe in the possibility of their dreams and inspiring & motivating others to become better versions of themselves. She is the author of Make Things Happen!!!; Traits & Habits Successful People Use To Attain Their Goals & Dreams That You Can Put Into Use In Your Own Life To Do The Same and an aspiring Life Coach. Yvonne contributes to the Huffington Post blog, Addicted2Success, Thought Catalog and other prolific blogs. Connect with her on Twitter @ykariba

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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