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4 Things You Shouldn’t Be Apologizing For

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Have you ever found yourself minimizing your success?  Not sharing all your wins? Or being mindful of who you share your goals with because most wouldn’t get it?  Why is it when we find ourselves with some measure of success, we sometimes want to fly under the radar? For some, it is an apologetic behavior for being great with the hopes of not making others feel less than.

This behavior reminds me of a viral video released a couple of years ago by Pantene called, “Not Sorry”.  According to their site, “it was designed to spark a dialogue about how women unknowingly minimize their strength with the subtle, yet powerful behavior of unnecessarily saying ‘sorry,’ when their is no reason to apologize.”  The video showed examples of small things like walking into a room, being a little late for good reason, and more.

But what about the biggest and most significant things in our lives?  We should not be unnecessarily apologizing for those things big or small.  Instead we should allow our light to shine, be seen, and be heard in order to show others how we overcame the obstacles to our success.

Here are 4 things you shouldn’t be apologizing for:

1. Being yourself

Unless your personality is a detriment to others and causes harm, it’s your gift.  A gift that makes you, uniquely you.  I recently had a good friend who was let go from her job for, get this, for being too positive!  After 20+ successful years in retail, her new boss told her, “Your style is too positive and it won’t help us get the results we need.”

Thankfully, she didn’t apologize for being who she is.  Nor did she try to change what had been the secret to her career this whole time.  Instead, she told him, “I hear you, but the very thing you find wrong with me, is the gift that has gotten me to this point in my career.”  Always be yourself!

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

2. Your success

There are seasons of our lives that were simply made for us.  Ones in which it seems like everything we do, say, or touch, turns to gold.  Winning streaks are exciting and invigorating.  I can remember seasons of my life where I got the new job, the crazy salary increase, and a new house all within a few weeks.  I’ve experienced such seasons even in my business with an influx of new clients, contracts, and revenue.  

It’s the type of success that elevates you to another level causing a gap between you and those watching your success. In the past I’ve been guilty of only sharing the magnitude of such wins with close friends and family. Be the person to show others how you did it and how they can as well. Honor your hard work and celebrate your successes.

 

3. Being driven

Do you have dreams that are so big they make you feel a little crazy? Especially when you have no clue how to bring them to life?  I totally get it! That was me. But what I realized is the only reason those dreams seemed crazy is because sometimes those around us either aren’t dreaming big enough or at all.

Don’t apologize for thinking big, mapping out your inventions, business ideas, or ways to transform your world. Find other big dreamers, thinkers, and go-getters to dream with.  Being average and thinking average is not an option.

 

4. Being well-liked

I will never forget years ago a former co-worker pulled me to the side and told me she was jealous of me.  It took me by surprise. I could not imagine why. She was a colleague with similar skill sets and competencies.  However, she explained her jealousy stemmed from my ability to successfully navigate our organization and being well liked by key leaders.

I clearly remembered saying, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say.”  But as I reflect on it now, what was I apologizing for?  I didn’t want to diminish her accomplishments; however I should have just owned my success and encouraged her to do the same!

“If you don’t drive your business, you will be driven out of business.” – B. C. Forbes

What are you unintentionally apologizing for? Be unapologetic about your career and business success, a great marriage, and wonderful family.  All the things that make you and your life great.

Take a stand to embrace the success of the best areas of your life.  Celebrate and share what’s good in your life and in doing so show others what is possible in their own lives.

Do you feel like apologizing for being yourself? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Executive Leadership Coach, Trainer, and Keynote Speaker, Melissa J. Nixon is known as the Courageous Life Mentor.  As Founder of the Courageous Life Academy, a global coaching and consulting firm, she specializes in helping visionary leaders, emerging c-suite executives, CEOs and women influencers to maximize their leadership, business and life potential.   Referred to as a “Powerhouse of Positivity” – Melissa applies a unique “fire-starting” approach to igniting change with her private and corporate clients that helps them to live and lead courageously. Check out her website here: www.courageouslifeacademy.com

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Knowing Your Message vs Delivering Your Message

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Have you ever sent a text message only to have it misinterpreted by the person reading it? Happens all the time. Have you ever given a presentation that you were totally prepared for only to have it fall flat? Happens all the time. Have you ever had someone ask you something like, “Why are you mad?” when you were not at all mad? Happens all the time. (more…)

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The 3 Most Important Things I Learned About Personal Growth

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When you look back on your life, what do you want to think about? Do you plan to reminisce on all of the good things that have happened and how they shaped who you are today? Or would you rather remember all of the bad decisions, challenging experiences, and mistakes made that hurt or wasted a portion of your life?

In my opinion, I think it is important to reflect on both. While it’s important to remember the hardships we’ve been through in our lives – without them we wouldn’t be where we are now. There are 3 very specific areas that I feel have helped me grow in a personal sense more than anything else in my life so far. 

These aren’t simple lessons in a book or a lecture that you can just absorb and apply to your life. These are things that I’ve learned through experience and reflection, and I’m still learning and growing today.

1. We determine how much we’re worth by what we think about ourselves, others, and life in general.

This might seem like a pretty obvious lesson in life but it’s actually one of the most important because we can determine our own worth by how we think about ourselves and the world around us. If you’re looking for success in any kind of business or social setting (dating), then I’ll tell you right now that it doesn’t matter if you have 10 billion dollars or not – people are still going to judge you based on your thoughts and beliefs alone.

What determines our value isn’t necessarily what we do with our lives (which is often based on luck) but whether or not we believe that ‘our work’ is worthy or not in some sort of grand scheme or universe. We may not always be able to control what happens in our lives, but we can always control how we value ourselves and others.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou

2. You don’t have to change your habits or personality just because someone else doesn’t like it – their opinions are THEIRS alone.

This is another one of those lessons that people tend to pick up on a little bit late in life, but if anything that makes its importance even worse! Basically, there’s going to come a time when you’re going to meet someone who has certain expectations of you as a person…but these expectations might not be realistic due to their motivations and personal beliefs. For example, sometimes parents might expect you to be a lawyer or doctor because that’s what they believe is best for their child.

However, this isn’t the case for everyone and so maybe your passion lies in music or writing novels. In this example, if you were also pressured into becoming a doctor – then there would obviously be some kind of conflict going on within yourself as a person. You should never have to give up something that you want to do just because someone else doesn’t like it! The reason why we’re put onto this Earth is to make our own choices and go after our OWN dreams instead of letting others determine what we can and cannot do with our lives .

3. You can’t change your life until you accept that you need to make a change.

When I was younger, I thought that this lesson would be pretty obvious – but as I got older, it really made me appreciate the fact that there are always different ways of perceiving our lives. For example, if someone wants to become rich and famous one day – their mind might simply overshadow any other possibility in their head because they feel like this is what they NEED to do right now.

However, this isn’t always true within our own lives because we think about things too literally instead of having an open mind. If you want to achieve success in any kind of business or social setting (dating) then you should be willing to try out different things instead of staying in your comfort zone. If you want something, then it’s up to YOU to actually go after it – nobody else is going to give it to you!

The three lessons above are some of the main things I want to pass on to everyone because they’ve come at an important time in my life where I need to start thinking about others instead of only myself. It’s great if we can learn to love ourselves first before anything else, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect everyone around you even though they might be your friends and family members!

If you enjoyed this article on the 3 most important things I learned about personal growth, then please share it with your friends and family! Also, check out my other articles on success & motivation as well as life lessons that could help people who are struggling with their life right now on lifengoal.com. Thanks for reading!

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​​4 Boss Level Growth Strategies That Create an Optimized Life

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Building a business is about more than sales, marketing, and flexing on social media. While those things tend to draw attention, they attract the wrong type of clients and are not how you build a sustainable and freedom-focused business. (more…)

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Life

Practicing Self-Devotion: 3 Ways Towards a More Mindful and Compassionate You

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I can still hear the voices of my older relatives and my elementary school teachers telling me “be disciplined”, “keep at it”, to give time and energy towards what we want. As a young, impressionable child, I believed all those things because well, they made sense. They worked. And honestly, I felt like it’s the only way to flourish. (more…)

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