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Remember These 3 Things When Your Motivation Starts to Fade

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motivation

Just because we want something bad enough doesn’t mean we will always get it. No matter how much self-talk or hoping you do. Life is all about failing and succeeding, but really one of those words is non-existent.

It can be discouraging to have been working on something for 5+ years and see no progress, then you read about someone who made it happen in 6months-1year. As painful as it is, you should not let that affect you, because everyone comes in at different times with different things.

Some people come in with supportive friends and close ones, others with money they found a way to get or had worked hard for, and many like me come in butt naked. To go after what it is we want, I will always say that it is worth the effort no matter how long it takes. Now, no matter how you come in this game they call being an entrepreneur, sooner or later things will slip, and you will want to give up.

I love to hear about others success, so I want to make sure that doesn’t happen and one day, maybe I’ll read about your success and I’ll be proud of you though we never met.

Here’s how to keep your head up when your motivation starts to fade:

1. You’re not a failure until you quit

It takes no effort to be a quitter. Anyone can quit. I should know, before graduating high school, I quit everything I went after. Football, quit. Basketball quit – actually, I didn’t make the team.

I would start something and just quit. But me quitting sports vs you quitting your dream, your goal, your calling, is a different story. I never wanted to become a professional player, so it brought no value to my life.

But when you embark on the journey to become an entrepreneur and start something great, everything around you changes. Don’t invest 1+ years into what you want and quit, because rather than calling it effort it becomes wasted time. When you don’t use that experience to try something else it becomes wasted effort. Remember, anyone can quit, but not everyone can win if they don’t grasp it.

“I can accept failure. Everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” – Michael Jordan

2. Asking for help does not make you weak

Help! God do I hate that word sometimes. It’s funny because no one likes asking for help but they are quick to offer it.

When you’ve been shunned by close friends and turned down by many, it can be hard to muster the courage to ask for help again. But what do all these rejections mean? Is it a sign from the Gods that you should stop asking for help, or are you just asking the wrong people?

Life gets hard, you will get stuck and lose motivation and asking for help can be the best thing to do.

Ask often, but most importantly you need to ask the right person. If you choose to ask a well-known stranger, remember they are well known which means you are not the first, but you could develop a friendship that can help you in more ways than you think.

3. Stop underestimating yourself

The mind is quite strange. It rarely lets you see things as you should. You have come a long way, but you are focusing on the unknown of how much longer it’s going to take. Don’t add more weight to something that can be closer than you are imagining it.

When you first started you knew little to nothing. Think about it. Really sit and think about how far you’ve come. the difficulties you faced. Things you thought were impossible that you are now doing with ease.

Don’t underestimate yourself because what’s in front of you will always look bigger than it actually is and you will forget how hard you worked, the pain you’ve had to go through and how strong you’ve become.

“The only mistake you can make is not asking for help.” – Sandeep Jauhar

You can’t forget your reason for starting in the first place. When you are about to give up, look back at the start and remind yourself why you started and what your end goal is.

If you can envision it, if you can’t think of anything else and daydream about it constantly, that should be a sign that it’s not your time to turn tail and quit, but to motivate yourself and push through.

It’s not easy, but you are not a quitter. Don’t let your mind or anyone else try to tell you otherwise. Believe in you and believe in your dreams. Your place is set. All you have to do now is grab it.

What are some things you do when your motivation starts to fade? Leave your thoughts below!
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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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Life

How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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