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6 Simple Ways to Practice Self-Care More in 2022

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self-care

2022 is here. Are you ready? Have you decided on your New Year’s resolution yet? No? That’s ok. Neither have millions of others, besides, who do you know that sticks to them anyway? If I had $1 for every broken resolution I’ve made, I’d have retired by now.

Do you at least have a 2022 wish list or bucket list? The best thing about a bucket list is that you can continue to add to it anytime you wish. My wish list is simple…it starts with health and happiness for myself and my loved ones. This got me thinking, what is happiness? For everyone it is different and personal. So this is, I think, a universal list of wishes:

  • Food on our tables
  • A roof over our heads
  • Drink more water
  • Eat more raw foods
  • Get more sleep
  • Spend quality time with your family
  • Spend quality alone time with yourself
  • Laugh more
  • Hug lots
  • Treating others as we wish to be treated

It’s a very simple list, but I know that the majority of people reading this will struggle to fulfil it. It’s called self care. People have differing views on self care. Some understand the importance of it, others think it’s about being selfish and indulgent. I don’t blame them, when it was first mentioned to me I didn’t have a clue what it really meant. To be honest I thought it was all about washing, brushing my teeth, eating, sleeping that sort of self care. Once I was told what it really was and what I should do to achieve it, I thought it was selfishness.

“I can hardly wait for tomorrow, it means a new life for me each and every day.” – Stanley Kunitz

Once I actually got a grasp on it and started to apply it to my life, I started to wonder how I got through before. To start with you do need to think a little selfish but without acting it. It really is all about ME. What do I need to do to live life healthier and happier? To be able to give the best of myself to others without losing or disrespecting myself in the meantime.

Here are a few ways you can practice self care this year:

1. Are you a YES person?

Learn not to automatically say yes to requests, actually take the time to think about it first. If you are saying no deep down, be honest and say no upfront. At the end of the day, we are all expendable. When your life is coming to an end, nobody is going to say ‘she was a great girl , she never said no to anyone. The world will not end if you say no to something or someone. If you are a ‘yes’ person, this will be your hardest lesson to learn.

2. Learn to like your own company

You also need to learn to like your own company, really get to know yourself. What makes you happy, sad, excited? What really makes your blood run? These first two steps go hand in hand. Accomplish them and you are already halfway to practicing self care correctly.

3. Declutter

Declutter, yes you heard me. A clear desk, cupboard, wardrobe, etc. helps clear the mind. Last year I moved house, now I wasn’t a hoarder, but a collector. I can’t begin to tell you how much I recycled to charity or tossed to the garbage but it was freeing. Try it! Start off simple. Pick one room in the house and go through all areas of storage. Not only will you feel good for doing it, if you can donate a lot of what you’re clearing, then you will feel even better for helping others.

“The first step in crafting the life you want is to get rid of everything you don’t.” – Joshua Becker

4. Revisit something you are good at

It may be a hobby that you haven’t pursued for years. Maybe you wrote poetry when you were a teenager, or you can draw, knit, paint. Whatever it was, find the time to do it again. You will be amazed what a stress buster it can be.

5. Remember to take a lunch break

The easiest thing to do is take your lunch break. We are all guilty of eating at our desks or on the run. Stop, grab your lunch, and eat it away from your workspace. Take a walk around the block once you’ve eaten. Take the time to step away for some instant ‘me’ time. Once again, no one pays you extra to work through your lunch hour.

6. Put yourself first from time to time

Finally, light that candle, buy your favourite bottle of wine and enjoy. It is never too late and you are never too old to start putting you first in everything you do. Trust me, once you do, you’ll thank me. The interesting part is, you will come through as a more content, relaxed and happier person.

It’s your turn. It’s time to make 2022 the year of YOU. What are you going to do to show yourself more self care? Leave your thoughts below!
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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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